A/N: The previous chapter was added just a few days ago, so make sure you are up-to-date before you read this one. Thank you!

It was a half-hour later that Tsunade arrived.

She shut the door behind her with unusual softness and walked straight to the end of the bed to pick up my medical chart. Her expression was dull as she read over the information.

It was a long moment before she spoke. "I'm not angry anymore," she said, her voice matter-of-fact. "I'm annoyed, but I keep reminding myself that you are only a child. Even if you are a sweet-faced, precocious menace."

I curled my fists around the edge of my blanket. "You should be angry," I said.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, settling herself in the chair at my bedside. "I'm not here to listen to your teenage angst, you have a perfectly good therapist for that. Just accept that I'm not mad and call it a day."

I met her eyes squarely. "You should be angry because if it happened again, I wouldn't do anything different." I swallowed thickly. "I'll accept whatever punishment you have for me. Just tell me if Lee is going to be okay, please."

After my conversation with Sensei, I went over the events of earlier in the day, again and again, trying to find out what I could have done to prevent this. And he was right: there was nothing else I could have done that would have worked out better. As calm as I had acted at the time, the cut on Lee's leg had gone through a vein and an artery through to the bone. Even with the tourniquet slowing the bleeding, it only helped so much, and he'd already lost too much blood too quickly. It was amazing he hadn't fainted on the way to the hospital, and I would bet my last two missions' pay that he'd had blood transfusions the moment he was admitted. Healing didn't replace blood.

No, there wasn't anything I could have done differently. That didn't mean I had to like it.

Tsunade pursed her lips and collected another clipboard. "He will live. Whether he will be able to continue as a ninja remains to be seen." She rose her eyes to mine again, unblinking. "Your sensei stopped you before you attempted to change the chakra connections above his stomach. If your efforts had reached his heart, he would have died." She let out a slow breath. "Fortunately we had a Hyuuga doctor on staff to help me heal through his chakra pathways and tenketsu. We were able to manipulate those in his abdomen in such a way as to accept the different flows from above and below. It was too dangerous to attempt to restore his chakra pathways to their previous state, especially since his original system was so unusual. If he can learn to work with his chakra again at all, it will take months of rehabilitation."

I let out a breath of my own.

"And as for your punishment… that will depend. I've already taken reports from your sensei and the young Hyuuga. I'd like yours as well." She rested the clipboard on her knee, clicking open a pen. "From the beginning, please."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and began.

Tsunade was an expert in taking reports. She listened carefully, interrupting only when I stumbled over any details. After I finished, she went through what she had written and had me expand upon anything she wanted to be clarified.

Neither of us mentioned my trying to heal my head. That, I knew, would come later.

"And one more thing. When you were speaking to the boys before you began healing, did you say the words 'I never learned how'?"

I frowned. "Yeah, something like that. I forgot about that. I was going to tell them I never learned how to heal, but that's when I remembered I might be able to. That was right before I tested it on myself."

She nodded slowly. "I see." She wrote another line at the bottom of her clipboard, before standing with a back-cracking stretch. "That should do for now."

"And my punishment?" I asked. "I heard something about a law being named after me? Am I going to court?" I worked hard to keep my voice level.

Tsunade snorted. "Yes, but only because I need a decent precedent to get a law in place to prevent unlicensed healers from practising. Somehow, they never managed to start one in my absence. It should only be a small case, maybe one or two elders. It's not a large enough issue to involve the Hokage or a full council." She shrugged. "And since you informed the boys, even obliquely, that you were untrained before healing, you won't be punished too severely. I'm going to recommend your sentence to be mandatory training with a healer. I've volunteered myself to train you personally since I was already going to drag you out to the training fields." She smiled sharply. "So don't worry about getting off too lightly, either."

I winced.

She collected her things and walked toward the door. "Of course, I originally had much worse in mind, but the young Hyuuga defended you quite vehemently. He plans to appear as your star witness, and had some… rather sharp things to say to me, the jounin leading the investigation, and everyone else in the room in general."

I stared. Neji did?

She noticed my look and smiled. It was the first genuinely positive expression I'd seen on her face today. "Yes, he seems quite grateful for your efforts. That said, I will also be back later to discuss that other matter. For that, you can start apologising by writing an essay on how foolish you were. Does that sound fair?"

I grimaced. "Yes, Tsunade-sama." I smiled weakly. "Uh, for Lee, I wouldn't have done anything differently. But for what I did to myself, yeah, bad idea. Sorry."

"Good." She opened the door and paused. "Well, speaking of whom. Go on in, kid." She ushered Neji through and closed the door behind her with a snap.

Neji and I stared at each other in silence for a moment. Finally, still standing by the door, he bowed. As an equal. I returned the bow clumsily, taken aback.

As he straightened he said, "You were correct in your assessment that training with live steel, when inexperienced, is not safe to do." His voice was soft and clipped. "It is good for training in a weapon one has experience with, but not otherwise. In the future, we will use weighted training swords." His face was a blank mask. "I wished to tell you this, and also to thank you for your efforts in saving my teammate. I am aware that he lives only through your intervention. I have also asked to be present at your hearing, to convey this information."

"Thank you, Neji. I appreciate it."

He nodded once and left as quickly as he came.

Well.

"Well," I said to the empty room. "I guess I'd better work on my essay." I saw a stack of paper on my bedside table; Tsunade must have left it while she was here. With a deep sigh, I got to work. It was hardly a stunning piece of literature, but I thought it had about the right quality that Tsunade would be looking for. I had scarcely finished writing when another person came through the door.

The man was young, perhaps in his early twenties, but that didn't mean much in terms of ninja. He was dressed professionally, his Konoha-plate attached neatly around his waist.

The man adjusted his glasses and smiled warmly. "Haruno Sakura, correct?"

"Yes?" I asked warily. Are they going to arrest me formally? I thought they'd at least wait until I was out of the hospital...

His smile grew. "I understood from Tsunade-sama that you were unable to attend our appointment at my office, and was invited to visit and have it here."

My eyebrows shot up and I looked at the clock; it was four in the evening. "Oh! You're the therapist!" I bowed hastily. "I am so, so sorry. I completely forgot, what with everything that happened."

He waved me off with a grin, settling himself into the chair next to my bed. "You will not be the first ninja to miss an appointment due to a training accident, I assure you. Normally I would have called to reschedule, but Tsunade-sama was quite insistent that you have your first appointment promptly. And I am not one to argue."

I winced. "Again, I'm so sorry about all the trouble-"

He chuckled warmly. "You are also not the first ninja to have their appointment in a hospital bed. It's no trouble at all, truly. And if you will not mind me saying, I do find your case fascinating. Forgive me, but from the standpoint of my profession, this is a very rare opportunity." He raised an eyebrow. "I understand that you have been affected by a technique that has falsified your entire store of memory. And from what you have said to others, this false-self was also afflicted with mental illness." He shook his head slowly. "Not to mention being a civilian in your previous life. You poor girl, even attempting to adjust must have been so jarring for you."

I felt my shoulders begin to relax a little. He was just so nice. "How much do you already know about it?"

"Only as much as I have said, along with your most recent records from hospital visits." He inclined his head. "I hope you do not mind, but as this is a classified case, the information came as part of the package. I would be unable to begin to treat you otherwise."

I shrugged. "That's fair. Man, I don't even know where to start..."

"That will all depend on how you are coping now. There are many strategies I can introduce to you to help you move forward, but it will depend upon which will most fit your situation." He smiled a little. "Why not start with today? You've recently undergone a stressful ordeal, have you not?"

I nodded slowly. "I guess I could start with when I woke up. I'd almost forgotten about it with everything, but I had this big conversation with my father about being a ninja..."

He was a perfect listener, as Tsunade was. He nodded as I finished. "As I expected, coming from a civilian life must be very jarring. I think that was very clever of you, deciding to find out what originally moved you onto the ninja path. Any path is difficult to walk if we do not know why we're on it. But have you found any of your own reasons to be a ninja?" He frowned. "It is important to know where we are coming from, but only to better understand where we are going."

I toyed with the edge of the blanket, mulling that over. "I guess it's hard to consider myself doing anything different to what I am now. I hate violence, but I like doing so many different jobs. It gives me an opportunity to learn to do a lot of things I wouldn't have tried otherwise. Maybe if I can stay as a Genin, instead of becoming Chunin, I won't have to fight people?"

He shook his head, smiling sadly. "Young lady, I am a Chunin ninja, and I am a therapist. Your path as a ninja entirely depends upon your experience. Yes, we are expected to be able to fight and defend, but at the end of the day a shinobi is one who is expected to be the best in whatever it is they do."

I sat back at that, reeling. Now that he mentioned it… all of my doctors were ninja. The government officials were ninja. Naruto's teacher, Iruka, was a ninja. The owner of the barbeque place I'd gone to was a ninja.

"Wait, so if ninja just means a specialist, then… Why are we all trained to fight?"

He blinked and cocked his head to the side. "We must fight because the nations outside of us fight. This may be hard for you to believe, but Konoha is… To our world, Konoha would be considered a very peaceful nation." He gestured with his hand. "For us, to be able to fight is an honour to our profession and our communities. And one who has the wisdom to strike first is often able to make it the final strike." He blinked slowly. "Even to our civilians, to fight, to kill, or to die to protect ourselves and one-another is honourable. And sacred."

I stared at him. That… made sense. I was essentially living in feudal Japan, wasn't I? Even when I spoke with my father, the first thing he'd asked was if I'd killed out of defence.

I swallowed, my throat dry. "And if I'm afraid to kill?"

He frowned. "Many people dislike to kill, fearing death themselves. Though once you die, you will either go to the Afterworld or be reborn, in which case, you will no longer be frightened. Of course, it is still a sad thing to leave our loved ones behind."

"That's-" I struggled for the right words. "And that's a known… thing?"

He shrugged. "Some people disagree on when we reach the Afterworld, why some of us are reborn, and some on how long it takes to be reborn. Some say 49 days, some say immediately, some say it depends on the person. Of course, it may not- Haruno-san, are you feeling unwell?"

I had my head in my hands. "I hate that I can't immediately dismiss that. You have no idea how much it physically pains me that I have to consider this seriously. I didn't even realise there was religion in this world and honestly, I should have."

"That is not what we would consider religion. Philosophy, perhaps." I could hear the smile enter his voice. "And as much as I'd like to further explore your fear of death, we are limited for time. I'd like to understand your situation a little better. Why don't you finish telling me about your day?"

With a sigh, I sat back and continued my story. Unlike with Tsunade, I included the details of my self-inflicted chakra pulse and the terrible memories that came with it.

He watched me intently throughout. By the time I was finished, he had a thoughtful frown, his eyebrows angled sharply inward and upward. "That's… fascinating. And the only false memories you retrieved were those related with guilt?"

I blinked. "I… I hadn't thought of it that way before." My mind began to churn. If they were only memories that I felt guilty about, maybe that meant that the 'me' from before felt guilty about them as well. "I don't know why I would have only just gotten those memories now, and I don't know what else I might be missing." I pulled my knees closer to my chest. "Honestly, if it weren't for how horrible they made me feel, and how afraid I am of Tsunade, I'd ask her if I could do it again."

He shook his head. "I would certainly not recommend filling your head with more false memories."

I looked away and mumbled. "They feel real enough to me."

I heard him sigh. "Yes, I suppose that is the crux of your problem, isn't it?" He sat back. "You still believe the memories you have are true, don't you? Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

I peeked back at him, but his expression was soft, non-judgmental. "I don't really talk about it. Maybe I should, with Tsunade-sama at least. If I could just get proof, one way or the other… I don't know."

He smiled. "Well. Perhaps that is one bright point to being a ninja for you. It is much more likely that you'll obtain the answers you seek if you stay on the ninja path, it seems."

"Yeah, I guess." Hadn't that been the original goal I told Kakashi about? I want to find out what happened to me and why. Maybe the therapist was right. If I'd immediately asked to cease being a ninja, I wouldn't have learned anything about chakra. I would never have met Tsunade. And, frankly, I would have missed out on being friends with Naruto and Sasuke.

Sure, it wasn't a sensible reason to want to be a ninja. But it was important to me.

The therapist checked his watch. "I think that will be enough for today."

I glanced over at the clock and started when I realised two hours had passed. "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to keep you here for so long-"

He waved me off with a smile. "I like to have longer visits when I meet a client initially. Even so, I feel like we will have much to talk about in our next meeting." He stood from his seat and rifled through his satchel, procuring a scroll. "I'll leave this with you. Based on what I've learned of your situation, I think you would benefit most from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This scroll contains two sets of exercises: one for when you are feeling anxious, which will walk you through whether the root of your anxiety is based in reality. The other is for when you are questioning reality in general, though you may not find much use for it until you've found your truth." He smiled widely. "Consider it like homework. A bright girl like you, I'm sure you'll have no trouble with it."

Homework.

I gave him my brightest smile in return. "I'll try to remember to look it at as soon as I get home," I lied.

"Excellent. Well, I'll be off. I'll see you at my office next week, Haruno-san."

"Thank you- Oh! Oh no, I'm so sorry, I forgot to ask you for your name." My cheeks flushed. I managed to talk to the man for two hours and hadn't even considered it once.

He laughed softly, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "It is no trouble, and there is no need to be so formal. My name is Kabuto."

I smiled. "Thank you, and it was a pleasure to meet you, Kabuto-san."