AN: I'm still prepping for my finals, and will be busy with them for a few more weeks. Which means I still don't really have time to write. But I was getting the itch to write something other than legal briefs, and tried to think of something I could crank out fairly quickly, and which wouldn't involve much complexity. Then I remembered how I added that bonus chapter to the end of Big Time: Legging it, and found myself wondering if I could come up with another, similar sort of thing.

And that's what this is. Basically, I thought, "Hey, what if I took a quick look at an AU where someone other than Luna was patient zero for the Upscale phenomenon?" And then a target sister, and a scenario to play around with pretty much immediately formed in my head. So this is basically what the story might have been like if Lori had been Upscaled with Lincoln instead of Luna.

This is a one-hundred percent, purely self-indulgent stress-relief thing, but hopefully other people will find it enjoyable in spite of that.

"LYNN! WAKE UP!"

The sportiest Loud was abruptly jerked into wakefulness. Sleep addled as she was, her brain wasn't quite capable of interpreting the words just yet. But she was nevertheless still able to identify the threat posed by the angry voice that was loudly yelling at her, and she instinctively reacted in the same manner that nearly all creates utilized when threatened by a large predator. She ran.

THUMP

Given that she was trying this from a prone position, and the area surrounding her bed was largely comprised of empty space and floor, this immediately proved to be a terrible decision.

Lynn groaned, slightly dazed from the unanticipated bout of house-on-child violence. With one shaky hand, she fumbled for some kind of hand-hold, eventually settling on her bed frame. Ignoring the throbbing in her...everywhere, she hoisted herself up enough to get her legs under her, then with one last push, managed to rise to a standing position. Once she was satisfied that her legs wouldn't give out on her, she released her hold on the bed, and let out a sigh of relief.

Her all too fleeting moment of peace lasted right up until she noticed the large pair of angry eyes that were peering in through her bedroom window, causing the athlete to jerk backward in surprise and very nearly sending her tumbling to the ground again.

"LYNN!" Bellowed the large, angry predator she was now properly identifying as Lori. "YOU OVERSLEPT AGAIN! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

"H-hey now!" Lynn protested. "It's not that…"

She trailed off as she caught sight of her alarm clock. And winced.

"...Oops," She said, chuckling nervously. "My B."

Her much bigger sister closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose, and exhaled sharply.

"JUST...HURRY UP." She muttered, the force of her voice still causing the room to tremble ever so slightly. "BREAKFAST IS READY DOWNSTAIRS. IF YOU'RE QUICK, YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO GRAB SOME."

"Sweet!" Lynn pivoted in place and prepared to dash out of the room.

"CLOTHES FIRST, MISSY!" Lori reprimanded her, pushing a hand through Lynn's window and tapping one finger on the floor for emphasis. "AND QUICKLY. I'LL DRESS YOU MYSELF IF I HAVE TO!"

"Nonono!" Lynn replied, abruptly changing direction and darting for her dresser.

"See?" She asked, yanking out one of her jerseys and holding it up as evidence. "All good!"

After a moment of silence, Lori nodded, and withdrew from the window, presumably going to see how their other siblings were doing.

"That was a close one," Lynn muttered to herself, as she hurriedly began slipping out of her sleep ware. "Last time she used the socks from my unlucky drawer."

From where he sat cross-legged in the backyard, Lincoln looked on at Lori in bemusement. The blonde loomed over their family home at her full height, but she was currently bent over, flitting from window to window as she tried her best to keep an eye on their siblings and keep them all moving.

"Leni! The stairs are in the other direction! Luna! A harpsichord isn't a travel instrument! Luan! Six whoopee cushions is enough! Get moving!"

Lincoln, knowing full well how difficult it could be to get his sisters out the door in the morning, did his best to stifle a snort of amusement. Which turned into an entirely different, far more high-pitched noise when Lori's gaze suddenly turned his way. However, he breathed a little easier once he realized that the glare she'd been sporting all morning had softened in the process.

"How are things going in the kitchen, little bro?" She asked, sluggishly, her eyes drooping as she shuffled away from the window. Shifting position, Lincoln lowered himself to the ground and did his best to peer into the kitchen.

"Looks like the younger girls are about finished with breakfast," He reported.

"Good," Lori murmured. "They're the ones who'd take the longest. The older ones can just take theirs to go."

Lincoln frowned in concern as Lori let out a weary sigh, closed her eyes, and began massaging her temples. He climbed to his feet and lightly stepped over to her.

"How are you holding up, Lori?" He asked, placing one hand on her shoulder, and giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"...Barely." She said, still not looking at him. "This...used to be a lot easier. Everything...used to be a lot...easier. You know, before…"

She gestured at the house, the tip of which was roughly shoulder height to her, and it wasn't hard to deduce her meaning.

"Anything I can do to help?" Lincoln asked. It wasn't the first time he'd said those words, nor was it likely to be the last. While Lincoln had always considered himself to be equally close with all of his sisters, Lori was the one that was currently going through this unique predicament with him, and all the challenges that came with it. As a result, the pair had come to depend on each other far more than ever before. When Lincoln was feeling down, or overwhelmed, it was Lori who offered him a shoulder to lean on, and naturally, when the shoe was on the other foot (figuratively speaking, actual shoes were but a fond memory to the sibling duo by this point), Lincoln tried his best to step up and do the same when she was the one in need.

Nevertheless, he still felt a chill go down his spine, his hair standing on end, as Lori suddenly turned his way, and looked him over with her half-lidded eyes.

"Yeah," She said, softly, "You definitely can."

With an impressively minimal amount of movement, Lori's arm darted out, snaked around Lincoln's waist, and pulled him close. Lincoln instinctively began to raise his other arm in what he could only presume was supposed to be some sort of defensive response, but his movement was arrested as Lori's lips crashed into his, locking him in a fiercely passionate kiss.

Moments later, he slowly brought his arm down, cupping the older girl's face with his hands as he eagerly responded in kind. Time...passed, its progress was always difficult to measure at times like these, but after a sufficient unit of passing had occurred, Lori broke the kiss and gently pulled away. Lincoln's head drooped forward, landing comfortably in the swell of his sister's generous bosom, vaguely aware of the fact that his feet were no longer touching the ground.

"Thank you, Linky" Lori purred, her head darting downward and placing a quick, affectionate kiss on his head. "That helped a lot."

"A-always happy to...help," Lincoln wheezed. They remained that way for a moment longer, then Lori lowered Lincoln to the ground, and drew herself up to her full height once more.

"Okay," She said, taking a deep breath. "Show time."

The eldest Loud sibling walked around to the front of the house, striding purposefully, but also as cautiously as she could manage, and after catching his breath, Lincoln quickly followed. When he rejoined his sister, she was standing on the front lawn with her hands on her hips.

"Here we go," She muttered, taking another breath.

"LOUDS!" She bellowed. "DRIVEWAY, NOW! FRONT AND CENTER!"

THOOM

She stomped one foot on the ground for emphasis, and as effective as the thunderous din would likely be at galvanizing the remainder of his sisters into action, he still winced as a section of the lawn was flattened by his sister's titanic tootsie. Between the two of them, the poor thing had taken quite a beating, much to their dad's dismay.

Still, you couldn't argue with the results. The front door opened, and in record time the normal-sized Loud siblings burst forth and quickly arranged themselves in a line, going from oldest to youngest. Lynn was the last to join the line, having just barely remembered to close and lock the door behind her before she slid into her spot, and stood at attention.

Looking up and down the line, and apparently feeling satisfied by what she saw, Lori nodded sharply and pointed at Vanzilla.

"Everyone in the car!" She barked, and without the slightest hint of protest, their siblings immediately piled in, not even fighting amongst themselves for shotgun rights. Seeing the way Leni strategically maneuvered around the crowd and slid herself into the passenger seat, presumably knowing that no one would challenge her for it, Lincoln allowed himself a small smile. Then forced his face back into neutrality, so as not to compromise the air of authority Lori had cultivated.

Once the last Loud had boarded, and the door securely shut behind them, Lori pursed her lips and waited a few seconds longer, presumably giving the girls time to find their seats and secure their seatbelts. Then, she reached down, hooked the fingers of one of her hands around the underside of Vanzilla, and effortlessly lifted the vehicle into the air. She straightened up, encircled the family van with her arm, and secured it against her waist, the vehicle looking like a toy, or perhaps a particularly kitschy purse, tucked against her as it was.

"Time to go," She said, favoring Lincoln with a warm smile. "Wanna come with, little bro?"

"I...dunno," Lincoln replied, frowning thoughtfully. "I mean, both of us out in town at the same time?"

"Aw come on, Linky," She protested, giving the younger boy a soft, good-natured punch in the shoulder. "I could use the company. Besides, you and I haven't broken anything in—"

"That big sign at the Burpin' Burger."

"—nnnnnnearly twenty-four hours," Lori concluded, correcting herself. Taking this in stride, she lowered her head and batted her eyelashes at him. "Please?"

Lincoln instantly felt his will to resist eroding away. "Well…"

"We'll drop off the girls, and then we can…" Lori paused, her voice suddenly turning soft, and breathy. "The long way home."

And there went the last of his willpower. Lincoln shuffled around to the side Lori wasn't carrying Vanzilla on.

"M'lady?" He asked, offering his arm to the older girl. He was suddenly, acutely aware of how potentially stupid this looked, but much to his relief, Lori giggled in response.

"What a gentleman," She cooed, snaking her arm around his. She planted a quick kiss against Lincoln's freckled cheek, and then arm in arm, the gargantuan siblings set off into town.

It looked like it was going to be a good day.