Bellicism Arc: Dealing with Death

It was just a small group of bandits, four of them, yet they killed at least twelve, robbed various people, deciding extortion served them better with the threat of killing more.

It was what she hated – people flaunting their power for the expressed reason of taking advantage of others, especially when the victims had no means to meaningfully fight back. Even if they could be captured and detained, the death penalty likely waited them for their crimes. It was especially true when many towns had limited means of containment, and it was doubtful the four would submit to exile or penal labour – not that the villagers wanted them around. The community suffered enough. They may want to throw some rotten food at the bandits, a handful wanted revenge, but they primarily wanted to return to their peaceful days.

Yuina knew the day would one day come. It even came later than she expected. She got wrapped up in a routine of missions with a low risk of confrontation that it had been pushed to the back of her mind.

Yet here she was now, preparing to make her move in the middle of town before the bandits caused more problems.

A shuriken to one's throat. His hands came up to his throat, but the damage to his trachea and larynx prevented him from screaming as he fell to the ground. Exsanguination would kill him, but the lack of oxygen reaching his brain would cease his bodily functions.

The second died from two kunai. One in the head. She wondered if it managed to pierce through the woman's skull. Another tore into her heart to guarantee death.

Yuina revealed herself to the unsuspecting crowd. She pulled the tanto out of its sheath and decapitated the third with one swift movement. It reminded her of a properly sharpened knife cutting through even the toughest root vegetables with zero resistance.

She had been waiting for an opportunity to deal with them more discreetly to spare them the image, but they stubbornly didn't want to leave town, and at that moment someone else could become another one of their victims. She rationalized that maybe seeing their bodies would be good for them. That they wouldn't have to live in fear, thinking they would come back.

Yuina finished the last one off with an electrically charged tanto, jabbed through the front of the abdomen and twisted the blade. Her eyes were fixated on the spot where she had stabbed him.

Why now? For years, she tried to recall how she died. She remembered being healthy. She wasn't old. Her life had finally been coming together. Established in her field. Debt paid off. She had a good support system. What had gone wrong?

A racist asshole apparently.

Yuina remembered the shock. The pain. The wetness as she tried to exert pressure to prevent bleeding out, only to be stabbed two more times. It wasn't even someone she knew. She was in the minority of people who was affected by violent crimes by strangers.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Good job, but don't space out now."

"I'm not spacing out." Maybe a little, but she didn't want him to think that. There wasn't going to be retaliation, so she wasn't concerned. She heard whispers from the dozen villagers.

"Bothered by death?"

Orochimaru meant in relation to her first kill, not where her mind had wandered to. Fully understanding that, she still had a complicated answer. It was so easy. The use of long ranged attacks made it impersonal. It was her actions, and she witnessed it, but she felt removed even though she knew she was the cause. She had been on autopilot just how she trained. She wasn't happy that she had to kill, but it didn't bother her either. She had been in this world too long if that was what she thought, but she never had a need to kill anyone, so perhaps it wouldn't have bothered her. She was pretty sure she felt worse when a friend told her about her work using rats as test subjects. At that news, she had felt a twinge of sadness with understanding. Poor critters. Rodents had an unfair reputation, but Yuina accepted speciesism in the exchange of bettering human lives.

Did that make her a bad person?

"More like wondering what we do with the bodies."

Orochimaru looked for any signs of deception. It was never that she was bad at masking her feelings or intent. She was good enough to fool most chunin and some jonin. Unfortunately for her, he had keen perception and was one of those who could tell. Or perhaps it was fortunate. He saw the areas that could be improved further. She was improving on her own, but more specialized attention may serve her well.

He was certain that she reacted to her killing, but it was fleeting. He may have misinterpreted unless she improved significantly over the past two weeks. It might not have been the killing itself. It could very well be because of death. Orochimaru recalled his own past. Tsunade's past. Parts of Sensei's past which he divulged.

Yuina moved past it, whatever the blip was.

Yuina was still a genin, but she had the sensibilities to put her up for recommendation. Something she currently didn't want, and he didn't push. Certainly, the extra expectations would serve well for her growth, but she wasn't lazing about, so he personally didn't think much about it. It may have been a waste of talent, but that talent wasn't owed to anyone.

"Put them together. I'll dispose of them."

Yuina dragged the bodies together, and Orochimaru used a fire jutsu to dispose of them. It was nothing personal. They weren't important, therefore there was no point in recovering the bodies.

"Not hot enough," she mumbled the same way as she did while conducting experiments while her eyes remained on the remaining bones. He felt offended.

"And what do you expect a hotter fire to accomplish?"

Yuina realized her mistake. "The bone will break down more. Not completely, but enough to break into shards ranging from chunks to sand like."

He wondered how she tested that. Animals? He couldn't imagine her digging a grave and she wouldn't have had an opportunity to kill someone before now. As it was, coffin burials were considered prestigious. Even the poor strived to provide coffin burials. Cremations often meant mass graves and occasionally bloodlines. Families like the Hyuuga and Uchiha would remove the eyes and handle them separately since they were removable appendages.

"What do I do if you aren't around to cremate them?" She could make a fire and wait around, but she doubted every ninja did that.

"There's nothing wrong with leaving the bodies out. Hide them if you need to. Toss them in a body of water. Loot their gear. Plenty of options."

"Understood."

Yuina and Orochimaru returned to Konoha.

It was only days later when Yuina concluded that death itself didn't bother her, but the self-assessing intrusive thoughts that accompanied it. She couldn't remember what the bandits looked like, nor did she care. The thoughts that plagued her were that she was the one to kill them. She knew she killed someone. It didn't fall onto someone else. It had been her responsibility. Ordered by someone else, but done in by her actions. She didn't feel bad even now, but she was haunted that she should feel guilty. A ghost that hugged her and wouldn't leave her alone even if it denied how she felt on the matter.

Yuina couldn't consider herself a defenseless victim of the world anymore. A victim, yes, everyone was. Defenseless, no. She had the abilities to fight back. To handle an incident that affected a whole town was something she easily handled. She was better off than 90% of the world. Her daily problems may have differed from theirs, but she couldn't deny she was better off.

"You spelt it wrong." She corrected Kakashi as he practiced writing in English. She gave in. He may have been going through an early edgy teen phase, but she trusted him with it. Sometimes Sakumo joined in too. It was something that she could look forward to with their increasingly sporadic schedules.

That was a sad thought. Their family time was reduced to something that Kakashi regarded as training. She made herself feel a little better if she thought of it as a family secret code. She remembered being a kid and getting giddy when she could speak to someone in her second language without others knowing. It was never anything bad, but she enjoyed the connection. Sometimes she even felt like a spy.

A little too close to home now.

Sakumo started playing shogi in his spare time. It was similar to chess or xiangqi. She considered how difficult it would be to pick up. She was eager to have a different activity to do with Sakumo. She would even prefer suffering through uta-garuto than play any other karuta game. The cards were at least pretty enough to look at.

"This is complex for a code. It's like learning to speak and write all over again." Kakashi is dedicated as he repeated the words to himself.

"There's another without a written version if you prefer." It would be too confusing to differentiate the same characters used in different languages.

"Another one?" His voice squeaked as he practiced the one he was currently on. Writing took a lot of time and commitment to learn. There weren't any shortcuts even if some lessons were easier than others.

"I told you I keep myself busy." Kakashi was adamant that she was slacking. That was the only conceivable reason she didn't want to enter the chunin exam next month. She was still stuck on whether Kakashi viewed the chunin exams as a method to shoulder more responsibilities or if it was just another way to prove his strength. As always, she reminded herself that he needed strength in this world to ease her consciousness.

"Are you planning on joining the intelligence division or the research facility or something? You could leverage this to join."

She never gave it much thought. It was like Nagasuga again. There were plenty of adjacent roles that weren't contract missions. She had been content at Orochimaru's side. Sure, she had training and went out on missions, but when she was in the lab, she did what she wanted 80% of the time. The other 20% was spent helping Orochimaru with some experiments or working towards joint efforts. If she went somewhere like the research facility, she would probably have to focus on projects the village desired. What would she choose in that situation? Share her knowledge as to not half-ass her work and potentially share information that could shift warfare, or would she rot away doing the bare minimum just to stay in research? It wasn't like she held the information of the world, but she had enough information to that left her filling the gaps than starting from zero.

The intelligence division had similar problems. Those who worked there would have a lot of insider information. She could teach and code information to minimize leaks, but she also didn't want confirmation of her speculations of the village. The village could spout the Will of Fire all they wanted, but politics were rarely that clean, and she's already witnessed some of the manipulations going on behind. Like controlling access to food. What was worse was the information she had weren't highly guarded secrets. She probably didn't want to know the real secrets the village hid. As an added problem, the information division also housed interrogation.

"I'm happy about how things are for now."

"Is this because you don't think you're good enough again?"

Yuina recalled the list Kakashi made before they entered the academy when he misunderstood her hesitancy in applying. "Nothing like that." It was easier to let him believe what he believed.

"We haven't had wagashi in a while. Should we get some afterwards?" Kakashi changed the subject.

"You don't like sweets."

Kakashi had the audacity to roll his eyes at her. "I don't. You do. Simple enough math."

Oh. Oh.

Kakashi must miss her too. She broke out into a smile. "Then hurry up with your memorization so we can go. I'll get you matcha." It had a distinct earthy taste that tastes delicious and should be more palatable for him.