Reckoning Arc: Amiss

Minato said it was normal to not be put in leadership positions right away. That they were often reserved for more experienced chunin. That didn't mean Kakashi wasn't disappointed.

Life felt like a constant game of tug of war. One side complimented his talents and abilities, trying to push him further into the spotlight. The other side barricaded him from doing the same things as everyone else. He wanted the game to be over. To know which side his life was. Being told he was 'good for his age' wasn't a compliment. He stood on equal grounds as everyone else, so he didn't understand why there continued to be a gap even from people he had proven himself to.

Their words, they were hollow.

Kakashi didn't need a reason to train and push himself further, but it was certainly a wonderful motivator to keep going even when facing exhaustion.

Kakashi's kunai clashed with Minato's. They exchanged blows. Every time Kakashi improved, Minato would use more of his skills to match him. It was good. It helped him grow, but one day he was going to catch up to Minato and would make him regret the days of ever going easy on him. For now, that meant a lot more training.

They stopped.

"Your improvement is showing."

Kakashi preened.

"I think that's enough for today."

He sulked a little. There was more he wanted to practice, so he would have to do it alone.

"But first how about dinner?"

"Okay." Kakashi liked spending time with Minato. Kakashi didn't enjoy food as much as others. He had some favourites, but he had never been someone who looked forward to meals. Food was for sustenance. He knew others didn't feel the same way. Food was very much as much a personal thing as it was cultural. More importantly, it was used as a method of bonding. No, he may not enjoy food as much as others, but he didn't mind the time sitting with others as they ate. It didn't matter if it involved chatter or they embraced the comfort of silence.

They walked towards their destination when Kakashi spotted someone.

"Sakumo," greeted Minato. He couldn't help but notice the haunting sorrow that loomed over him. Minato didn't call it out in particular. There were plenty of reasons it could be, and it was tactless to mention it in public. Even in private, he couldn't say he had a close enough relationship to ask. "We're about to get some food. Would you want to join us?"

"I'll have to pass. My attention is needed at the hospital." Sakumo looked at Kakashi.

Kakashi couldn't understand why.

Minato placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and said, "We should eat out next time instead."

"Why? We're almost there."

"Kakashi." Sakumo's voice had a soothing quality to it as he cautiously brought up the situation. "Yuina's been admitted."

A crack formed in Kakashi's mind. "Did she hurt herself while training?" He didn't understand why she would be admitted. Get treated and continue on, or at least rest at home.

"Yuina was stabilized enough to be brought back, but she's in critical condition."

The cracks in his mind got larger and extended further until it collapsed and shattered. Yuina was his sister. She was Sakumo's daughter. She was smart, competent, and strong. There was no way she could be in critical condition. She'd never let it get to that point.

The reality nagged him gently at the recurring thoughts that had occasionally plagued his mind. Yuina started to change after graduation. It was small, but it became more and more noticeable with time.

She always looked at him for guidance. That was true for as long as he remembered. Yuina could always pick certain ideas up easier. Writing. Reading. Arithmetic. Navigation. Plenty of small, odd, specific things. Even then, she looked to him for guidance, like he had the answers to the world. He surpassed her in other areas in which she would always watch him raptly. Training came easier to him and he could actualize theoreticals into practical use extremely fast. He purposely kept in view for her to catch up in the same manner she did. He had grown to expect her to be a few steps behind.

After graduation, Kakashi wondered whether Yuina was still a few steps behind or whether she was falling behind. It wasn't that she was lazing off, but something was different even if he couldn't pinpoint why. She didn't look at him the same way anymore. She no longer followed him a few steps behind. Instead, she looked at him more and more like Dad, but even that conclusion didn't feel quite right.

He was ahead. He was the chunin, so why? What changed?

Whatever it was, it was enough to break his understanding that Yuina would be fine.

He split from Minato and walked alongside Sakumo to the hospital. He imagined the state she would be in. He was told she was in critical condition, but he still expected something lighter. He imagined her bedridden, but otherwise fine. Hurt from a dumb mistake rather than something stemming from weakness. Incompetence and Yuina didn't belong in the same sentence.

Sakumo and Kakashi arrived and asked for the room number. They walked up the stairs and walked down a hall when they spotted Orochimaru closing a door behind him. He walked past them without a word.

Kakashi followed behind Sakumo in entering the room, but froze in the doorway as Sakumo approached Yuina. His eyes widened, and he felt his heart beat faster. Yuina laid motionless on the bed.

Her torso, arms, and legs were bandaged, not dissimilar to a mummy. Even her face had patches tapped on. Kakashi knew her breathing was shallow from her chest and diaphragm movements. What little of her skin he could see was ghostly pale, scratched, and burned. He recognized some of them as electrical burns. Stupid sister.

Nothing in his view brought him any comfort. His feet stumbled forward without input from him.

Sakumo placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and pulled him a little closer to himself, but it did nothing to comfort him as his stare remained fixated on her form.

Kakashi had seen dead bodies before. Yuina wasn't one of them, but she physically looked worse off than anybody he had ever seen. It was more than that, though. Kakashi thought it was different. Seeing a stranger's battered body was nothing. Seeing the injured body of he cared for was different.

Having a medic explain the full scope of her injuries didn't make it better, and they couldn't stay long because medics periodically had to come into the room to perform more treatments.

"She'll wake up, won't she?"

For the second time in his life, his dad didn't have an answer for him.

Kakashi made more visits as the days passed whenever he had some spare time. He expected Yuina to wake up, but she never did. She looked as listless at the time before each time she visited.

He needed her to wake up. To break the cycle. To confirm the outcome one way or another. Not knowing was one of the worst parts.

At the beginning he took unconscious as better than dead, but he had overheard the medics. They were worried that she wouldn't wake up if she reached the two-week mark. So far, all signs had been pointing that would become the case.

Kakashi's hand stopped on the door, but he didn't open it. It was quiet inside, as always. He opened the door only to be greeted with his expectations. Yuina still laid on the bed motionless. Fitting for such a plain, sterilized room. There wasn't even a window. Kakashi decided he hated hospitals. He wanted to be anywhere else than there, and yet he couldn't bring himself to leave with Yuina there.

Not for the first time, he wondered what had happened. No, it didn't matter what happened as long as she woke up.

Kakashi moved the chair from the side of the room to the side of the bed. He felt a residue of warmth from the wood. It told him that Sakumo had been there shortly before him. They hadn't visited together since that first day, both having unresolved feelings they didn't feel comfortable experiencing with the other around.

"You're keeping me waiting." It wasn't what Kakashi wanted to say, but it was the only words that would come out of his mouth. He shoved his hand in his pockets and clenched his hands into fists. This wasn't how things were meant to be. Wake up dammit!

Another day and nothing had changed. Kakashi stayed an hour until the medics came in, needing to do another evaluation.

The next day was day 12 and Kakashi's heartstrings pulled string by string as he forced himself to go into the hospital again. He wanted to run. He wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Kakashi." Yuina tried to wave, but winced. Her hand hadn't been raised more than a few centimeters before it plopped back on the bed.

"You're awake." He blinked. It was to the point he expected he would walk in and she wouldn't be there. The day he was told she had passed on.

"Somehow."

"You're an idiot." That wasn't what he wanted to say, but it rolled off his tongue. "You let someone beat you."

Kakashi expected her to grumble or scold him. In a weird way, he even hopped for it. Instead, Yuina laughed. A soft, breathy chuckle that led to a coughing fit. Kakashi stepped forward with an outreached hand as she coughed into her elbow. "Yeah, I am." She was obviously in pain but she came across as happy.

Well, he would be happy too to know he lived, not that he would ever be in her position.

Yuina reached out her hand to grab his. Her hand was a little cold. It was nothing like the warmth of her embraces.

She was about to say something, but closed her mouth before she could say another word. Instead, she continued to look at him. He was relieved. It was the look he hadn't seen in a long time.

Kakashi didn't know the reason for the change shortly after graduation and he didn't know the reversion back now. It felt too simple to say it was because of her injuries, however, the cause didn't really matter. He felt like something clicked back into place and it brought him inner peace.

Then a stomach growled, interrupting the moment, and it wasn't his.

"Are you allowed to eat or do I need to sneak you in food?"

Yuina's eyes sparkled. "Can you bring me something? I've only gotten rice porridge. Ah, but then you'll have to leave. Mm, but something heavier sounds good. Oh, but I might not be able to swallow it. Maybe something—" She broke into another coughing fit and groaned in pain. "Actually, can you grab me something to eat? I'm starving."

Kakashi felt her hand tighten around his one more time before letting go. He left the room to fulfill her request, but stood outside the door.

There were wheezing, and wails, and cries of pain.

It was still bad. Either she was so out of it that she didn't realize he hadn't left yet, or she was in such poor condition that those few minutes were all she could handle without breaking down.