Sawed Chapter 06: Better Than A Dream
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I don't own Saw or anything else I might reference or shamelessly rip off.
This time, the nurse was as good as her word, and she brought Adam that second blanket he'd asked for. He thanked her gruffly and pulled it up over himself as best he could with one hand, and settled into his hospital bed, not looking forward to the inevitable boredom he was in for now that he wasn't allowed to visit Lawrence. Well, he hadn't exactly been told he couldn't, he had just been told not to rip out his IV again or sleep in Lawrence's bed. He still felt like a scolded child, though, and didn't want to risk getting caught again, so he decided to stay put.
He thought back to the night before, when he had practically jumped into Lawrence's bed. He'd never gotten into someone else's bed uninvited before. He'd also never felt inclined to. He figured he must have been really uncomfortable to have done something like that. He was also surprised with himself with how comfortable he'd felt sleeping next to Lawrence.
He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so peaceful and safe in a bed—his or anyone else's. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt so warm and secure in someone else's arms. He was surprised at the fact that when he remembered sleeping beside Lawrence, those feelings returned, spreading through his veins like warm water, soothing yet exciting.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding onto the feeling before he exhaled, slowly. Revisiting the moments of the his recent past, the photographer gradually fell back asleep.
Back in Lawrence's room, Lawrence was also reveling in the new sensations he found himself experiencing. He had been growing apart from Allison for so long, spent so many nights facing away from her in their bed, that he had almost forgotten what close contact felt like. It had been so wonderful holding Adam to his side as they slept. A warm, vulnerable body, pressed up against his form, grasping his waist with his hand, depending on him for comfort.
He started to think back over the last couple days, how often he had touched Adam, too. In the bathroom, as Adam lay crying, clutching his injured shoulder, he had placed his hand on the younger man's face, trying to assure him of their survival. Adam had reached for him as he struggled to crawl away, terrified of being left alone, and Lawrence had felt horrible having to turn his back on him.
Being reunited in the hospital that first night, Adam gently touching his face, hugging his waist, and all the contact they had made with each other since then, Lawrence could still feel his touches on his hands and body. It was like he had been branded with Adam's presence, and now it would never leave him.
All too soon, unfortunately, his ankle began to throb with pain. After not hurting all night, why now?
But before it could progress to an agonizing level, Allison and Diana came in to visit, and he was distracted from any physical discomfort.
It was a little after noon when Adam woke up from the dream he'd been having. It wasn't a new scenario playing out in his head, just the vivid memories of Lawrence sawing through his own ankle, while he screamed and begged him to stop, and retched in horror.
His room was bright, bathed in sunlight, and he could hear people talking outside the door. He reached for his bed's control panel to prop himself up in a more sitting position, and saw that his hands were shaking. He wished he could have woken up next to Lawrence.
Just then, his door opened slowly and Allison and Diana peeked in.
"Hey, Adam. You awake?" asked Allison.
"Oh, hey," he said back. He was about to ask why Diana wasn't in school, but then he realized he didn't even know what day it was. Could be the weekend.
"Heard you got in a little trouble today," Allison chuckled.
"Like I care," Adam muttered. He wanted to shrug but he only had one good shoulder.
"Larry said he didn't mind," said Allison. "He actually said he slept better with you there."
Adam gave a weak half-smile. He thought it weird that Allison was so welcoming and supportive of the bond between Adam and Lawrence, but she had explained to him that first night that she and Lawrence really weren't in love anymore, and that she trusted that Adam could "take care of him." Whatever that meant.
In any event, he was grateful that they could be civil, if not friendly with each other. It was nice that Diana seemed to like him, too.
"Diana wanted to give you something," said Allison, ushering Diana closer to Adam's bed, upon which she climbed.
"I made a card for you, and everyone in my class signed it," she said, handing him a piece of white cardboard, with the words "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY DADDY, ADAM" and a bunch of kids' signatures scribbled around it. Some had written little notes of "Get well soon" and "UR awesome," and things of that nature.
Adam smiled. "Aw, thank you," he said sweetly.
"I couldn't tell them exactly what happened, I had to say 'police confidentiality,' but I was able to say that my daddy's in the hospital, and he would be dead if it weren't for you. They all understood," Diana explained.
"Well, this is still really sweet, and I appreciate it," said Adam. He leaned forward and wrapped his one good arm around Diana's shoulders and she leaned in. It wasn't a deep embrace, just a nice little gesture between friends.
"Have you eaten?" asked Allison.
"Nah. The food here sucks anyway," said Adam.
"I was going to go down to the cafeteria and get something. You want some pizza or anything?"
"Oh. Uh, yeah, that'd be great. Thanks," said Adam, looking up from his get-well card.
"OK. Diana, honey, can you stay here for a few minutes?" she asked her daughter.
"Mm-hmm," Diana nodded.
"OK, I'll be back as soon as I can," said Allison.
After the door closed, Adam set his card aside.
"What grade are you in?" he asked.
"5th," said Diana.
"What's your favorite subject?" he asked, just trying to make conversation.
"Reading," said Diana. "What was yours?"
"Uh, art, I guess," said Adam. "'cause you can't really be bad at art, it's all subjective, you know?"
"Yeah. No one can say you're doing it wrong," Diana agreed.
"Are you OK? About your parents' divorce and everything?" he asked gently.
"Yeah," said Diana. "Everyone's been asking that, like they expect me to be crying constantly. But it's better than them fighting all the time."
Adam sighed. "Well, you're a stronger person than most people."
"Thanks," said Diana. "Are your parents divorced?"
"They were never married," said Adam.
"Really?"
"Yeah. My birth name is actually Stanheight-Faulkner, 'cause I got both my parents' last names. I just use Faulkner, though."
"Did they at least both live with you when you were a kid?"
"I lived with my mom but she wasn't really...around much. And I never knew my dad."
"I'm sorry," said Diana.
"It's fine," Adam said, managing a smile. Was it, though? He was a loner who spied on people for a living. He didn't have any companions or even friends, and for some reason or another, it had made him the target of a serial killer's game. How was that fine?
"What do voyeurs see when they look into the mirror?"
"Did you visit your dad before you came here?" Adam asked. Diana nodded. "How's he doing?"
"Actually, he told us to come check on you. He said his ankle was hurting but that he also had a weird feeling about you."
Adam crinkled his eyebrows in confusion. "What kind of 'weird feeling'?"
"I don't know. He said his ankle hurt, and then he got a strange look on his face and he said 'Go check on Adam for me.' And then we came here."
"Hm," said Adam, contemplating this odd piece of information. "Well, I guess tell him I'm fine."
"Or you can just go see him," said Diana.
"Well, I'm going to try to stay here today," said Adam. "I kind-of got in trouble for sneaking into his room last night."
"So? You're still allowed to go talk to him," said Diana. "He misses you."
He misses me? We've been apart for like four hours.
Adam didn't say anything else on that topic. He just continued to make small talk with Diana, asking her what her favorite color was, movies, TV shows, et cetera. She followed each answer with the same question of him, and they conversed casually until Allison returned with a few Styrofoam boxes of food.
"Hey, I hope you like plain cheese, 'cause that's all they had," she said. Diana got off the bed and went to take the boxes from her mother's hands.
"Thanks," said Adam, opening one of the boxes to reveal a slice of thin crust pizza.
"And I didn't know what you wanted to drink, so I got water, Coke and orange juice," Allison said, putting three bottles of drinks onto the little table next to the bed.
"Water's fine, thanks," said Adam, opening the bottle and gulping some down.
"I also wanted to give you this," said Allison, reaching into her purse and drawing a small plastic bag. "One of those goody-bags from the dentist we had lying around, if you need it. It's just a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss."
"Oh, thank you, that was very thoughtful," Adam said politely. He was never big on consistent oral hygiene, but even he had to admit that after two days, his teeth felt kind-of scummy.
"Alright, well, we're going to go. You sure you're alright?" asked Allison.
"Yeah. Thank you," said Adam, raising his slice of now half-eaten pizza, indicating that that's what he was grateful for.
"OK. See you later."
"Bye!" said Diana. Adam wanted to thank her again for the card but she was already out the door.
Lawrence misses me? Adam thought. He felt strangely flattered at this notion. What exactly had he been bringing to Lawrence in this friendship? Lawrence was the one who had let him into his bed, and held him while he had slept. He had tried to push his burgeoning feelings of affection out of his find, but now that he knew Lawrence wanted him around, he was finding it harder to ignore that he wanted to be around him too.
I guess I could at least go ask him why he wanted Allison to check on me. What could he have possibly been worried about?
Adam peeled the covers off himself and gripped his IV pole, carefully maneuvering it alongside him as he opened the door to his room and stepped out into the hall. He instinctively looked both ways, as if he were crossing the street, to see if any hospital authority were there to catch him. The nurse who had reprimanded him before wasn't there, but another nurse or orderly, or doctor, he couldn't be sure, caught him.
"You need some help?" he asked. Adam straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Uh," he began, not sure what to say. Then, to his convenience, he noticed the small bag of dental supplies still looped around his wrist. "I was just going to use the bathroom," he said. "Brush my teeth and stuff."
"Of course. It's just down there," the employee said, pointing down the hall and around the corner.
"Thanks," said Adam. He slipped in to the bathroom, relieved himself, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and came out. Now if anyone asked, they would be told he just went to use the bathroom. Hopefully they wouldn't think to look for him in Lawrence's room, to which he promptly made his way.
"What's up?" he asked casually as he entered.
"Adam," Lawrence said with relief. "You're alright! I was so worried—"
"'So worried'?" Adam repeated back, mockingly. Lawrence suddenly checked himself, realizing he must've sounded pretty weird.
"Yeah, right," he laughed to himself. "Get over yourself, bottom feeder." Adam mentally rolled his eyes at that. "Did Diana give you that card she made?"
"Yeah, it was nice," said Adam. As soon as he sat down, Lawrence reached for his hand, and noticed the plastic bag hanging from it.
"Oh, good. Allison brought you this stuff," he said as he took the plastic bag off of Adam's wrist and set it on the table.
"Yeah. That was really nice of her," said Adam.
"Yep," said Lawrence.
"So, you were…worried about me or something?" Adam asked.
"Yeah. Earlier today, my ankle started hurting. And not just like, normal, healing hurting. Like, it was throbbing and I was getting kind-of scared. And I thought of you, and I just…I just got the feeling that…you were in pain, too. I don't know," Lawrence said with a shrug and a shake of his head.
"When was this?"
"Like half and hour ago, while Alli and Diana were here."
"I was asleep then," said Adam. "I was having a dream."
"What happened in it?"
"Uh, I was just reliving the…when you…y'know…" Adam stuttered. "I was dreaming of you sawing off your foot."
"Oh," said Lawrence.
"Pretty vivid, too. Like I was right back there, screaming at you," said Adam.
"Hmm," said Lawrence, thinking about this coincidence.
"I've been having pains in my shoulder, too," said Adam. "But that's normal, right?"
"How often?"
"Sporadically," said Adam. "I haven't been like, documenting the time or anything."
Lawrence sighed, knowing Adam wasn't one to take notes or keep a record of anything significant.
"What'd he look like?"
"He's just a guy."
"Was he tall? Was he skinny? Obese? What?"
"I don't take notes about his appearance."
"You must remember something about him."
"I can't!"
"You're telling me you don't remember A THING about him?"
"I told you, I don't—"
"Oh, for FUCK'S SAKE! I give up!"
Lawrence scoffed inwardly at the memory. Immature, infuriating, juvenile Adam.
"Next time that happens, let me know," said Lawrence.
"Why?" asked Adam.
"I just feel like…there's some kind of connection," said Lawrence. He lifted his right hand up and rubbed it slowly up and down Adam's left arm. He then brought his hand to Adam's cheek and gently pulled his head towards his own. Adam closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Lawrence's. Lawrence's hand crept down to Adam's uninjured shoulder, and they just stayed like that for a minute.
"Maybe there is," Adam sighed. "It never hurts when I'm with you."
Adam kept his eyes closed, as Lawrence gently moved his own face to Adam's cheek. He could feel Lawrence's breath on his skin, almost on his ear, and then he felt the barest of contact. Lawrence's lips lightly brushed Adam's cheek, but didn't apply any pressure.
Is he…did he just…? Adam thought. Whatever Lawrence seemed to be about to do, he'd changed his mind.
Adam pulled his face back from Lawrence's and opened his eyes. Lawrence opened his, and once again they just stared intensely at each other.
Does he…want to…? Adam couldn't even finish the thought.
Should I…? Will that drive him away or…does he want it, too? thought Lawrence.
They were both trying to read each other's signals, but were also worried that they had gotten them completely wrong.
Adam could feel his heart pounding, and was fairly certain it was loud enough for Lawrence to hear it, too.
Better not, Adam finally decided, and turned away. But he felt Lawrence squeeze his wrist.
"Lawrence, I—" he began. Lawrence looked at him expectantly. Hopefully. Adam felt adrenaline suddenly rush through his veins, and butterflies going bat-shit insane in his stomach. He couldn't stop the smile from breaking out on his face, but he also couldn't stop the dizzying sensation of light-headedness come over him as well.
"Everything alright?" asked Lawrence. Adam cleared his throat and quickly got up off the bed.
"I should be getting back. I don't want to get in trouble again," he said.
"Alright. Come and see me anytime," said Lawrence. "I like having you around, you know."
Oh, my God, thought Adam. Is this really happening?
"Yeah. Me, too," he said. And then he practically hurried out of the room. Or, he tried to. He forgot he was still attached to his IV pole, and when he stepped towards the door, he accidentally yanked the pole off balance and barely had time to catch it before it toppled to the floor. "AGH! SHIT!"
"Oh, that was smooth," Lawrence chuckled. "You really are a juvenile."
"What does age have to do with anything?" asked Adam. HATE this thing!
"Not age-wise, just…" Lawrence grinned as Adam glared. "You're just…adorable," he finished with a shake of his head.
Adam tried hard not to smile as he stood his IV pole up and wheeled it along beside him as he left.
END OF CHAPTER 06
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