Chapter 97: Just another day in the neighborhood…
'Pain is apart of growing up. It's how we learn.'
-Dan Brown
Joel was busy setting up outside for Matty's second birthday party. It was in a few hours and he was setting up the tables. Becca was outside as well, making sure the table settings and decorations were appropriately set. He watched as she ran around and fretted with everything.
He set back to his task and laughed to himself. The Joel Miller of ten years would've laughed at who he is now. A family man.
He wouldn't trade her or this life in for the world. His children were safe and happy. For the most part. His wife was relatively happy and actually seemed to enjoy his presence. Their therapy sessions were going better than ever.
Tony was quite impressed with how well they were communicating. Ever since coming back from their weekend, they've become closer than ever. Not sexually, but emotionally. He planned to ask her for another weekend away. Fishing isn't all he had in mind. He figured they were ready for that next step.
Judging by the way she looked at him whenever they kissed, she was ready too. He didn't want to have anyone else around. He wanted just the two of them. He wanted to see how loud he could make her scream while inside her. He wanted everything.
She walked over to him as he stood up last table. There were only three. They didn't expect much people to come. Maria, Sebastian, Betsy, Am, and even surprisingly Ellie decided to come. They figured it was more for Matty's benefit than anything.
They were grateful that she didn't take their issues out on Matty. She still made it a point to be in his life. She loved her little brother.
A few of Maria and Becca's mutual friends were showing up with their children and husbands. He assumed it was the same ones from Maria's birthday party.
They were never offended that people were still distrusting of them. They were leery or Joel's past as a Firefly and Raider. They didn't understand David's beliefs and his cult 'Disciples of Christ'. Some thought she was still brainwashed or was continuing Francis's research. They were close minded. People weren't always guilty by association.
She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his back,'It's coming along real nice. Betsy and Maria should be coming pretty soon to help me cook. I have the cakes in the oven.'
He cleared his throat as he looked back into town,'Ya El is really gonna show up?'
He couldn't help but ask. It's always been a sore spot for him. Ever since they met, they've been inseparable. Regardless if they wanted to be or not. They've become each other constant and now they're not always around each other anymore. She was getting older. He always knew it was coming. She didn't want her old man around all the time anymore.
'I think so.' She sighed against his back,'I assume she'll behind Abby along. Just to spite us.'
He smirked and snorted,'I don't doubt that. Let her come. It's only a kids birthday party. What's the worst that can happen?
They didn't speak of it, but the words still lingered between them. A irrefutable truth. There's a lot that can happen.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Everyone gathered outside for Matty's birthday party. They had spots of showers in the morning, but by afternoon it was bright sunshine and blue clouds. It was the beginning of May and Becca's garden was in full bloom. She couldn't wait to get back to the greenhouse this weekend and start working on it.
She and Joel planned to go to the cabin fishing again during the following weekend. They wanted to bring Matty along. Joel was eager to teach his young son how to swim. Hopefully, Ellie would want to join them. Maybe they could finally patch things up between them.
Becca wouldn't hold her breath.
She was refilling the pitchers of drinks outside when she looked over at Joel, smiling when she saw him standing by the grill with the few other guys. He was drinking water while the rest of the guys had a beer in their hands. She was proud of him for staying sober. Even when he didn't want to be.
When she first met him, she couldn't imagine the way he is now. She wouldn't be able to reconcile it in her mind. The man she met had been bitter, broken and jaded. This man had friends and wasn't a loner. He enjoyed grilling, hunting and fishing. He loved being a rancher. He enjoyed the simple things out of life.
He grew up.
She looked over at Ellie with Matty. She was holding him while Abby stood next to her, playing with the baby. She gritted her teeth. She didn't trust that girl around her children. Especially a two year old. She couldn't know. Matty was too young.
When they discovered Matty was immune to the virus, they chose to keep it between them. Only herself, Joel, Becca and Maria knew about. Not even Betsy. They couldn't risk that kind of information coming out.
While they could protect themselves, Matty could not, but the Fireflies weren't stupid. They knew how the immunity worked. Only it took was for one parents' blood to be immune. He would've been a goldmine to them, which is why they cherished this secret. They knew Ellie would never let Abby know. She may be angry, but she wasn't stupid. She also loved her little brother.
Maria walked over to Becca and followed her line of sight, sighing softly,'She still giving ya the cold shoulder?'
She nodded and frowned,'Yeah, she hasn't talked to us in two weeks. The only time she did was to freak out on me.'
'Joel mentioned something about that.' She shook her head,'You know how girls that age are.' she shrugged,'They think they know everything. They're right and the parents are always wrong. How dare we get into their business.' She snorted,'Every child acts like God's gift.'
Becca laughed softly. She always intently listened to Maria's words of wisdom. She was an incredible mother. She told her before the outbreak, she had been married with two children. They died during the outbreak, but she and her father were founding members of this town. Ever since twenty twenty three, she's lived and thrived here. She looked up to this woman in every sense of the word.
Maria's father has long since passed, but his memory and legacy was kept alive in Jackson. Gerald's name and biography along with a small statute commemorating his legacy in the town stood proudly in the memorial garden. It's because of him that Jackson was allowed to thrive. They would rather remember Gerald for all the positive things he did than some psycho led council.
Maria never asked what came between Ellie and her parents. It wasn't her business. She just accepted it for what it is. She loved that the most about her sister. She didn't ask questions, but supported her.
'I hope you're right.' Becca sighed as she looked over at Joel,'I know it's hurting him too. He hates that she won't talk to me. They have a special bond.'
'So do you.' Maria met her gaze,'Don't discount that.'
Becca nodded and smiled softly,'Thank you.'
'Don't thank me yet.' Maria shook her head and snorted,'Think about how we were at that age.'
Becca pursed her lips thoughtfully and her eyes widened,'I didn't even know what the hell I was doing back then. I still don't.'
Maria snorted,'You and me both, kid.' She nodded towards Joel and smirked,'You two have been looking pretty chummy lately. Any chance you'll be moving back in soon?'
'Is that your way of saying you want to get rid of me?'
Maria rolled her eyes and playfully bumped her shoulder with hers,'I love having you there, but I can tell you're not loving it.'
She placed the pitcher of lemonade down on the table and sighed,'I'm not and I know he isn't either.'
There wasn't any use lying about it. Maria would be able to see through it anyway. She was always very good a reading people. Before the outbreak, she had recently became a lawyer in Boston.
She understood the connection to the city and how she met Tommy. Her and Joel's history were so deeply intertwined. She used to resent it, but she's come to appreciate and respect it over the years. She was no longer threatened by Maria. She loved her like the sister she always wanted.
Maria crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged, almost as if she were annoyed,'Then what's stopping you? Tony?'
'You know I can't talk about our therapy.' She was halfhearted about it, giving her a sly grin,'We don't have to live together. I just… want…' She shook her head,'We shouldn't be talking about this at a kid's birthday party.'
Maria held her hands up and took a deep breath,'This is the exactly the kind of thing we talk about at kids birthday parties. It's like church for married people and parents. I love you, but it's boring.'
Becca laughed softly. She was inclined to agree. The gathering was small and the kids sequestered themselves together. She watched as Joel scooped Matty up from the ground and threw him up over his shoulder, making the little boy squeal with joy.
'I love him, Maria.' She whispered admittedly,'I realized in these last three months how much I really fucking love that man. Very much in love. I don't ever wanna do anything like this again. I love him and I want him.'
Becca used to tell bad sharing her burdens with Maria. She didn't want to be selfish, knowing she was grieving the loss of her husband, but she's learned over time the resilience of Maria's character. She supported those she loved. While she grieve, she didn't let it weigh her down. She got up everyday and lived as best she could. If not for herself, but for Sebastian.
Sure, she cried herself to sleep at night a time or two, but she still loved. It's been over a year and she's finally become better with herself. She didn't feel alone. She dated and moved on as best she could. She wouldn't let Tommy's later digressions in life diminish the good he did in this world.
'Have you told him that?' Maria chuckled,'Sometimes ya have to flat out tell them.'
'I've told him.' She nodded slowly, whispering,'I'm gonna sleep over tonight, but I haven't told him yet.'
'Are ya gonna finally lay it down like I told ya to?' Maria's eyes widened,'You read that book I gave you?'
'I read it.' Becca shook her head and rolled her eyes exasperatingly. Maria made her feel like she was in the middle of a midterm sometimes,'I don't mean like that.' She leaned in close, mumbling,'I wouldn't be opposed. I think he expects our first time again to be all romantic, flowers and shit. All slow.' She sighed as she looked over at him,'I just want him to…want me like that. The first time we ever had sex, I had to be the one to show him it was okay.' She shrugged,'I guess I want him to-'
'Bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you senseless?' Maria's sharp and blunt words cut to the bone, but rung true.
'Yeah.' She nodded,'I do. Just the other night, he ate me out on it before I came back to your house. What's the difference.' She frowned,'Before you look at me like that. We cleaned it and I put a tablecloth on it. My sex therapist told me to show him some signs.'
'Like what?'
Becca smiled knowingly as she crossed her arms,'A real lady never reveals her secrets, Maria. You know that.'
Maria's eyes widened as she looked over at her.
Well, shit.
The Becca she knew would never speak so openly about sex. She was usually reserved and compliant. Whenever Maria would have friends over, she would always sit back and listen to them talk, but never engage.
Ever since she started therapy, she's gone leaps and bounds in opening herself up. She spoke openly about sex and wasn't afraid to stand up for herself and speak her mind. She let loose and have fun. She was funny. She fell in love with this side of her.
The real Rebecca, rather than the version of her they wanted her to be. For the first time in her life, she could finally be herself. She couldn't imagine how freeing that must feel like. Experiencing life for the first time.
Joel got to experience that with her. She felt both joyous and envious of that. It reminded her a lot of her and Tommy when they first met back in Boston. He had recently left the Fireflies and was a wayward soul, looking for his place in an equally broken new world. They came together in their loneliness, forging a friendship and unspeakable bond. Throughout all the chaos, they managed to fall in love, get married and have a child. They had some happy times before everything went to shit.
Their love story may have ended tragically, but hopefully theirs would have a happier ending.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The sun was just beginning to set and Becca was in the kitchen, putting the candles on the birthday cake she made for him. She heard the door of the back door being opened and she glanced back, her eyes widening slightly when she saw Abby.
Becca's shoulders instantly tensed up. She knew she shouldn't feel this way about a twenty one year old girl. She could very well be harmless. She seemed unarmed. From what she could tell anyway. If she was anything like Ellie, she would have a knife strapped to both of her ankles at the ready.
She couldn't help but feel uneasy. The girl had a stoic face and vacant eyes. Even when she smiled, it seemed contrite. Forced even.
Abby glanced down at the cake and up to Becca's face, giving her a small smile,'It looks really pretty.'
Becca nodded as she carefully slid the knife off the table and tightly held onto it,'You need anything?'
'Just to see if you needed any help.'
Becca nodded as she looked over her face. She wasn't convinced, but she wouldn't make a big deal about it. Not at Matty's birthday party at least,'If you could get the plates that would be great.'
Abby nodded as she picked up the plates and followed Becca out the door. She stared warily at the young woman. Did she think she was entering an empty house? Was she deliberately trying to unnerve her? Maybe she was overthinking things.
The sun was just beginning to set. Matty was getting cranky anyway. It would be time for the adults to relax and enjoy the evening.
Matty sat in Becca's lap as they sang happy birthday to him. He clapped and squealed excitedly as Joel set the cake down in front of him. He seemed to be mesmerized by the little candles more than anything.
Becca helped him blow out the candles as they clapped for him. She cut and delved out the cake slices, letting Matty get as messy as he liked. She wished she could take photos to commemorate this moment, but all she had was her mind to relay the memories. All she could hope for is that she'll be able to rely upon those memories in years to come.
The kids were getting cranky and tired, signaling for the other parents to go home. Maria and Betsy stayed behind to help her clean up while Joel bathed Matty and put him down for bed.
Surprisingly, Ellie and Abby stayed behind as well to help clean up. They mainly stayed outside and kept to themselves while the older women cleaned up inside.
Becca looked out the window at them and sighed to herself. She didn't like how Abby kept Ellie isolated. She was putting thoughts into her head and alienating her from her family. There's no telling what kind of thoughts she put into her head.
Ellie put on a rough and touch exterior, but on the inside she had a desperate need to be loved just as anybody else. She yearned for affection and attention, never having that in her life before. It's what connected them all in the first place. A need to belong.
After everything was cleaned up, Maria and Betsy went on their way. Ellie and Abby left a long time ago. Abby made sure to say her goodbyes, but Ellie stayed outside. She was stubborn and hard headed. There wasn't telling her anything. Maria was right. She needed some time to reconcile things in her head.
Joel walked into the kitchen from putting Matty to bed. He sighed as looked around the kitchen,'He fell asleep as soon as I laid him down. Too much excitement, I think.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'Everything's cleaned up in here. You need some help outside with the animals? El fed them before she left.'
He nodded silently. It was nice to see she wasn't shirking her responsibilities around the farm. Even though she wasn't talking to either of them, she still understood this was her place too just as much as it was theirs.
'I guess since she fed them there's nothing else left to do but lock up, I guess.' He looked over at her as he nervously scratched the back of his neck,'You gonna stick around for a bit?'
She bit back a smirk. He always asked her that question whenever she stuck around later than normal. It was his roundabout way of asking her if she planned to hang out.
'I was going to.' She folded her hands behind her back,'In fact, I was thinking about sleeping over. If that's okay with you.'
His eyes widened in surprise. Whenever she came over, she never asked to sleep over before. That was new. He wouldn't question it. He didn't want to ruin a good thing.
He nodded and cleared his throat,'That's perfectly fine with me. The bed's just the way ya left it.'
Just waitin for you to come home, He thought to himself.
She pursed her lips as she looked over his face,'I'm gonna go and get a shower. You need help with anything?'
'Nah.' He kissed the top of her head as he walked past her,'Ya tired?'
'A little but not really.' She looked back at him as he walked out of the kitchen,'You gonna be long?'
'Why?' He glanced back at her with a smirk,'Gonna miss me?'
She laughed as he walked out of the kitchen. She heard his heavy boots as he walked out of the house, closing the door behind him. She looked out the window at him above the sink.
She smiled to herself as he used an oil lamp to guide his way down the darkened path. They only used flashlights when they absolutely needed. Batteries were difficult to come by. Joel was out of the stealing and trading business.
Since the outbreak began, they've had to revert back to some of the old ways. They read more books and didn't rely on electricity as much. She figured they were better for it. They've found other ways to enrich their lives. They actually sat down and had conversations with one another.
She took a shower and changed into one of the nightgowns Betsy gave her as a gift for her birthday. It wasn't anything revealing, but was a deep green and a spaghetti strapped, reaching her mid thigh. She meant to pack it for the weekend at the cabin, but with the nervousness leading up to the trip, she forgotten.
Before Maria left tonight, she made her promise to send some signals his way. While she didn't expect to have sex with him tonight. She at least wanted to show him that she was interested too.
After locking up, Joel walked back up to the house. He smiled when he saw her standing on the porch. She was wearing a robe, but it was opened and he could see the nightgown she wore. She almost stopped him in his tracks. She sometimes made him forget how to breathe.
They've been teetering between this for a few weeks now. Since they've gotten back from the cabin, everything felt different between them, but good. Even Tony was impressed at the strides they've made in their relationship.
They were really working hard on themselves and together. He loved her now more than he ever did. While their separation had been tough on the both of them, they've managed to gain a newfound respect for one another. It was like falling in love with each other all over again.
He sauntered up at the stairs as he held tightly onto the banister,'Been a minute since I seen ya waiting for me on the porch. A man could get used to this.'
She grinned as stood at the step below her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked over his face,'Thanks for letting me stay over. I didn't want to sleep in Maria's guest room tonight. I wanted to sleep with you.'
He slid his hands underneath her robe to gently grasp her waist. The material of the nightgown was a thin silk, almost sheer and he could see and feel every contour of her body. He loved her body after having Matty. She filled out some in ways her body needed after being malnourished for so many years in David's cult. Her skin was tanned and her eyes were clear and bright. She was happy.
He wouldn't ask her to define what 'sleeping' meant. It could be figuratively or literally. He couldn't give a goddamn. He was eager to sleep in the same bed with his wife. When at the cabin, he couldn't think of the last time he slept that well.
Luckily, he got a quick shower before putting Matty down for bed. All night, he had been drudging up the nerve to ask her to sleep over. Maria told him to man up and just ask her. Becca beat him to it. She wanted this just as much as he did.
He inched forward and pressed kisses up her jaw, whispering,'Ya look real pretty, darlin. This for me.'
'Maybe.' She nuzzled her forehead against his,'Betsy made it for my birthday. I was supposed to pack it when we went to the cabin.'
He huffed against her neck as his large hands ran up and down her sides,'Ya been holding out on me?'
In more ways than one. She thought wistfully to herself.
Maria told her you were never too old to play coy. She could give him subtle signals. She could tease and flirt just like she knew he liked. During their marriage counseling, she's realized something about Joel. He loved the thrill of the chase. Especially while in a relationship.
He enjoyed foreplay. Even if they didn't have sex tonight. Just the building and leading up to it excited it. He also loved to be praised. Her therapist called it a 'kink.' She wasn't naive. She knew what it meant. She just wondered if she had her own.
She ran her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck,'Maybe I was waiting for the perfect opportunity.'
He licked his lips as he leaned back, his eyes roving all over her body,'And what's so special about tonight?'
She laughed softly, tilting her head back as he placed a hand firmly on her lower back,'Everything. It's always special when we're together, stud.' She shook her head, rubbing her hands through his curly hair,'I love being here with you. When we first met back in Silver Lake. I never thought I could live a life like this.'
He sighed as he gave her a chaste kiss on the lips,'Neither did I. I thought this farm was just a pipe dream. Having you and El come here with me made it a reality. You made it a home. This is yours too. It's why I took care of your flowers.'
'I woulda divorce you for that.'
'Only for that?' He grinned as he gently pulled her closer against him,'I wish I woulda met ya sooner. So I woulda had more time with ya.'
His words echoed her own sentiments as she rested her forehead against his,'It's not the length, but what you do with it that counts.'
She kissed all over his face, seeing his eyes closed as he sighed softly. She's also come to realize he loved affection. Much like herself, he seemed to crave it. They were so touch starved for years. All they've ever had was people taking and using what they wanted from them.
This is the first relationship they've ever had where they could truly be themselves. No holds barred. Brutally honest to a fault.
She held his face in her hands and settled her lips on his. He gasped into the kiss and cupped the back of her neck. He quickly deepened the kiss, bunching her hair into his tight closed fist as he kissed her hungrily.
She moaned into the kiss as he slid her up his body. She wrapped herself around him, arms and legs as he groaned into her mouth. He could feel her bare heat against his abdomen. Her core radiated such warmth he could feel her even through his cotton t shirt.
He felt his cock jerk in response. He was trying to be a gentleman ahout it, but she got him crazy. She tore all logic out of his mind sometimes. It was more than lust. His therapist called it desire. He loved her and wanted to express it in every way he could. There wasn't anything wrong with that.
She slowly pulled away from him to whisper against his mouth,'Let's go upstairs. I want your hands on me.'
His eyes widened at the tone of her voice. She was whispering raggedly, but her tone was clear and confident. There was no mistaking what she wanted. He didn't know how far she wanted to take this, but he would give her whatever she wanted.
He stepped onto the porch as he slid his hands underneath her ass to keep her steady on his hips,'What the lady wants. The lady gets.'
'The lady wants you, Joel.' She kissed his neck and gently bit into his skin, making him hiss,'You're so fucking sexy.'
His heart clenched whenever he heard her say stuff like that to him. He wasn't used to hearing things like that from women. People thought he was a womanizer, but that was the farthest from the truth. He was mostly blackout drunk whenever he slept around. Before the outbreak, he could count all the women he slept with on one hand.
He'd probably still be in the lower numbers to this day.
Becca made him feel good as a man. She loved on him. She appreciated him. She actually enjoyed spending time with him. She knew him and didn't run for the hills. He loved her so much for that.
He carefully walked them into the house and up the stairs. He gently kicked the door closed behind them. He slowly slid her down onto her feet and they both laughed as they almost stumbled. They've never done this before.
She took her robe off as he slid his t shirt over his head. They both stood there, appreciating and appraising one another. Neither knew what to expect, but they wouldn't give into false expectations. It's what got them into trouble in the first place.
Becca placed her hands on his chest as she felt his heart pounding,'You're shaking.'
'Sorry.' He let out a slight laugh and ran a hand through his hair,'I'm just…got my mind on something.'
'What is it?' She gently pushed him back to sit on the edge of the bed as she stood in between his legs,'Talk to me.'
He scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly,'It's probably nothing, but I saw Abby with Matty today it…' He sighed and ran a hand through his hair,'I picked the wrong time to bring this up.'
'No you didn't.' She grasped his face to hold his gaze,'It bothered ya enough to talk to me about it. She came into the kitchen tonight. She said she wanted to help me but…' She shook her head,'She was testing us. Coming here today.'
'I'm gonna have a ride with her, I think.' He saw her eyes widen,'I just wanna talk with her. I'll ask her to come hunting with me. I wanna see what kinda shot she is.' He winked,'If she's trying something I'll have a lookout.'
'I'll trail behind you.' She held his gaze, leaving no room for discussion,'El's gonna hate us.'
'She already does.' He snorted and rolled his eyes,'If we're wrong then we'll eat shit, but if we're right.'
'We'll still eat shit.'
He rested his head against her stomach and closed his eyes. She cradled the side of his face and looked down at him, smiling softly,'You're tired.'
He hummed softly and nuzzled into her stomach,'I'm always tired, darlin. I'm an old man.'
She gently pushed him back onto the bed and pulled the covers up over them. She leaned over the nightstand and turned off the light. She got herself comfortable next to him and rested her head on his chest.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, whispering,'I'm sorry I'm tired.'
'I'm not.' She closed her eyes and sighed, whispering,'I'm tired too. You're not going on that hunting trip without me.'
He huffed as he settled himself into the bed,'I wouldn't dream of it, darlin.'