Izuku was stretching when Gran Torino blindsided him, sending him sprawling on the floor. In the corner of his eye, Izuku saw Nighteye nodding in approval. He struggled to his feet, coughing.
"W-why did you do that!? I didn't think we were starting for like, five minutes?" Izuku said. The older man, unbeknownst to Izuku, hooked his ankle with his cane and sent Izuku back to the floor.
"You made a choice. A stupid, selfish choice that we can't do anything to stop." Nighteye said. His words burned Izuku's heart; they hurt worse than getting knocked flat on his ass.
"The world needs All Might, and soon. You've decided to make the world wait until you're ready, so I hope you're ready to go through hell." He continued. Gran Torino nodded.
"You're too young to even attempt to weight train you, let alone let you practice One for All." Gran Torino said. "I respect your decision to keep the quirk, unlike some people." The old man's eyes flicked to Nighteye. Guilt spread into Izuku's heart for a moment before his brain crushed it. Nighteye hated him even though this was their first official meeting.
"But that doesn't mean I can go easy on you. Starting today, we're going to turn you into the perfect vessel for One for All. And that includes preparing you for anything and everything, such as," As Gran Torino continued, Nighteye zipped out from behind the older man and rushed at Izuku. Nighteye reached him in a second and kicked full force at his left cheek. The only thing stopping Izuku from being decapitated was an inch of space between his face and Nighteye's heel.
The man straightened back up, pushing his glasses up his nose. He looked unimpressed.
"You're scrawny, even for your age, and your entire left side is completely unguarded," Nighteye said. Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, grabbing at his left flank.
"That's not fair; I wouldn't have that problem if I had two arms!" Izuku said, feeling defensive of his obvious disadvantage. Nighteye scoffed.
"But you don't, do you? That's why we're going to train on how to defend yourself and how to avoid getting hit. We'll do this every single day until you're able to either dodge my kick at full force or begin training his quirk." Nighteye said, his voice rigid. His quirk, Izuku thought. Not Izuku's, but All Might's. It hurt to be told that straight to his face, but he agreed deep down. Before he could dwell on it, Izuku glanced at Gran Torino, suddenly curious.
"What about him? Do I have to dodge a kick from him?" Izuku asked. Gran Torino laughed.
"If you could dodge me before you even hit puberty, I'd give you a million bucks." Gran Torino said, still laughing. "No, Nighteye's just being an arse. Now get runnin', brat." He continued.
Izuku obliged, not wanting to embarrass himself more. Running on the indoor track, Izuku found himself trying his best to not tip over.
While he was slowly adjusting to moving around and doing everyday tasks with one arm, running was a whole other issue. After he began, he quickly realized that this was going to be a lot harder than he expected.
Arms play a critical role in any movement. Despite not being very heavy, they can shift your center of balance easily. Without that vital extremity, Izuku had a center of gravity that was a little too far right. It made turning right corners easier, but everything else is harder.
All of a sudden, something nailed Izuku in the back of the head, sending him stumbling forward. Stopping mid-jog, he turned back to find Nighteye next to a pile of rubber dodge balls. Izuku reached up to rub where he got hit but touched nothing but air. Confused, Izuku tried again but soon realized his mistake. He didn't have a left hand.
God, it was going to take a lot to get over this.
"Who said to stop!? Keep running brat!" Gran Torino called out. Izuku did so, but not without scowling.
"Why'd you throw that at me!?" Izuku asked. "Give me some time to get used to my new balance!"
"No can do, brat! If you don't want to get hit, pay attention!" Gran Torino continued, motioning for Nighteye to throw another ball at Izuku. Now running and paying attention, he was able to determine the trajectory of the ball and move out of the way with a little difficulty.
"You missed- oof!" Ricocheting into Izuku's back off the wall, the ball knocked him to the floor. He was tired of his mentors tripping him. Within a few seconds of not getting up, another ball hit him.
"No breaks!"
[x]
"So you're exercising? That's good. That's very good." Dr. Fujimaki said. Izuku nodded, uncomfortable in his chair. It wasn't a bad chair- it was soft and had a nice leather texture. No, Izuku's body was just very sore; bruises littered his body after hours of "training" with Gran Torino and Nighteye.
The old man had offered to mentor Izuku if he chose to keep One for All, but he hadn't expected the man to be a slave driver. Despite the physical pain and stress of their first session, however, Izuku was thrilled with it. He was equal amounts tired and fulfilled, something he hadn't felt since he had completed his last hero journal.
"Did you know that working hard naturally gives you dopamine over time? When you exhaust yourself with exercise, you're manually making yourself happier." Dr. Fukimaki continued. His therapist was nice, Izuku thought. He was easy to get along with and wasn't judgemental in the slightest. Izuku was lucky to have him.
"Yeah, I guess. It's hard, though." Izuku mumbled out. Dr. Fujimaki smiled, nodding.
"Yes, yes it is. For many people, it's a vital part of their recovery, and recovery is difficult." Dr. Fujimaki said. "What brought you to exercise? You don't have to answer, of course, but I'm curious." He continued.
"Oh, uhm I kind've, uhm…" Izuku trailed off, unsure if he wanted to tell the truth or not. His therapist waited for him to answer, perfectly silent and relaxed. Izuku spent a good thirty seconds thinking it over before remembering his promise. He can't be ashamed of trying to avenge someone, even if he was the one who killed them in the first place.
"I-I know I'm hurt, I know I'm crippled, but I decided I want to try to become a hero again…" Izuku said, eyes downcast. Dr. Fujimaki didn't say anything for a second, and Izuku thought he had upset the man somehow before he smiled.
"That's a lovely goal to have. I know we haven't discussed the odd circumstances with your quirk yet, but rest assured we will get there eventually. Quirks and heroism—they go hand in hand, so we can discuss them together at a later date. The one piece of advice I'll give you in the meantime, however, is that heroism isn't just about helping people." Dr. Fujimaki said. Izuku's eyes narrowed, confused.
"What? Of course it is. Heroism is giving up s-something of yourself for others." Izuku replied. The man shook his head.
"No, Midoriya, no. In today's society, heroism is just as much about self-preservation as it is self-sacrifice. People need heroes, and if all the heroes sacrificed themselves to save only a handful of people, then who would protect the masses?" Dr. Fujimaki asked. Izuku was stumped.
"Are you trying to tell me to let people get hurt- m-maybe even die, just to keep myself safe?" Izuku asked, suddenly defensive. Dr. Fujimaki's smile didn't falter as he raised his hands in surrender.
"Absolutely not, Midoriya. I wouldn't dream of telling a hero to save themselves before someone else. What I am saying is that heroes who run themselves ragged with no sense of self-preservation expire quickly. You need to take care of yourself; you need to have a life outside of heroism." Dr. Fujimaki finished. Izuku hesitantly nodded, unsure.
He wasn't sure what to make of the Doctor's statement. He had grown up believing that helping someone else before yourself was always a good thing, no matter what. Even his favorite hero… All Might… had reinforced this idea by dying for Izuku. All Might hadn't cared about his health, only getting the job done and protecting him.
He understood the sentiment, though. If a hero wasn't at 100%, they wouldn't be able to work at full efficiency. If he can't train at 100%, he won't get his effort's worth. Taking care of himself…
"I'll try to not overwork myself, I guess." Izuku said. Dr. Fujimaki nodded.
"Stay safe, MIdoriya. Your future is bright."
[x]
Across the country, Enji was grappling with something far more difficult than the average villain. Alone in his highrise office looking down on the city below, Enji was struggling with his ego, an unsolved case, and his son.
He drummed his fingers on his desk. He had left his staff with a single order: Do Not Disturb. Enji needed time to digest this.
"This" was the National Hero Rankings, the first one to be published since the death of the previous Number One Hero, his rival, All Might. Enji saw some interesting changes in the rankings this month.
An up-and-coming hero, Hawks, had breached the top 100, despite not yet being 18. Best Jeanist had risen from 15th to 11th. The most interesting of all, however, was the previous Number Two Hero, second fiddle only to All Might himself, had become the new Top Hero. All Might had been added to the top of the list of The Valkyries, the best of the heroes who died in service.
Enji Todoroki groaned as he rubbed his eyes, praying the ibuprofen would kill his headache soon. He was the number one hero, and he didn't know how to feel.
Endeavor had worked single-mindedly towards this goal since he was in U.A. He had worked harder than anyone, but had always fallen short of the big man himself. Enji hadn't resigned himself to failure- he had married into a powerful ice-quirk family in order to try and create a child strong enough to best All Might, but he had never truly expected to be number one.
The gap between himself and All Might was as wide as the gap between himself now and his middle school self. Shoto had a chance to get there one day, but that didn't matter now.
It didn't matter now.
That was what Endeavor was hung upon. What was he supposed to do with Shoto, his ultimate tool to take down All Might, with no All Might? This dilemma was causing his headache. Or maybe it was the guilt—the retrospective realization that he had been pushing his sons so hard for a dream they'll never fulfill was drowning him.
Touya had shown so much promise… but Enji put ideas into his head. Ideas that drove him, a child, into killing himself. How could Enji be the number one hero after that? All Might was the ultimate hero. Ultimate heroes didn't inspire children into suicide.
A buzzer went off on his desk, indicating that somebody wanted to speak to him. Enji's frown deepened. He held down the button that turned on his mic.
"What is it about Do Not Disturb that you do not understand? This better be worth my time." Endeavor said. On the little device on his desk, a crackly voice could be heard.
"I'm sorry sir, but I thought you would like to know we have gotten some leads on the explosion in Musutafu via the hero network." Burnin said. Endeavor shifted in his seat, now interested.
Burnin was one of his newer sidekicks, a freshly graduated girl who could generate fire from her hair and throw it. She was on office duty until further notice, given her lack of experience, and had been relaying most of what the Intelligence Office came across directly to Endeavor.
"Go on." Endeavor said.
"Sir Nighteye claims to have seen the explosion in a future vision. We were never able to recover bomb pieces because there was no bomb, sir. This is confidential, even within the Hero Network, but the cause of the explosion was a quirk." Burnin explained.
"A villain, then? That explosion was serious business. Have they been apprehended?" Endeavor said, almost disappointed. He had been following the case rather closely and had been hoping to be the one to crack it.
"No sir, you don't seem to understand. It wasn't a villain. It was a civilian's quirk that went haywire. We only have access to this information because of the unique line the number one hero has in the Hero's Network, but the civilian whose quirk went crazy was a little boy, 9 years old, named Izuku Midoriya. We have nothing else, sir." Burnin said over the speaker. Endeavor was surprised; the explosion that had destroyed most of the Musutafu forest was monstrous. Enji hadn't seen such high horsepower attacks in years. If it was just a little kid, he might become a serious powerhouse in the hero industry in a decade or so.
"Is the brat alive?" Endeavor asked.
"Yes, though he was apparently injured pretty bad." Burnin replied. Hmm, Enji thought.
"Do some digging on this Midoriya kid. I'm interested. Now, unless there's something else, please refrain from bothering me again. I'm going home." Endeavor said, already stripping off his hero gloves.
"Yes sir!" Burnin replied. Enji knew the line went dead and she was gone when he heard a click from the speaker.
"God… I need a drink." He muttered.
[x]
Enji was shrugging off his overcoat in the mudroom of his home when he saw Shoto walk by. A twinge of something Enji was unfamiliar with flashed through him.
Bright red scar tissue covered Shoto's left eye; it was a permanent reminder of his own failures as a father and husband. Oh, Enji realized. That twinge he felt was shame.
Enji had strived to avoid thinking about his past for years, instead choosing to always look forward. He'd never take the time to look around him and god forbid he start thinking about what has already happened. But now that he was the Number One Hero, he needed to be more conscious of his mistakes.
The biggest one of all, of course, was the one he had been making for over four years now.
"Shoto." Enjji called over to his son. Shoto, who had attempted to walk to his room without acknowledging his father paused. Enji didn't have to see the boy's face to know he was glowering.
"What do you want?" Shoto asked, not turning back to look at him. Enji didn't know what to say, so he didn't. He let the silence hang for five seconds, ten, thirty, and then a full minute. All the while, Shoto was still turned away from him. Finally, the boy relented and faced his father.
"What do you want!?" Shoto called out, irritated that Enji hadn't said anything.
"Training is canceled for the rest of the week." Enji finally let out. Shoto paused, his angry demeanor lessening but not disappearing.
"Why?" He asked. What a loaded question, Enji thought. He turned away from his son.
"I don't know."
It was only later that Enji realized that this Midoriya Izuku kid was the same age as his son.
[x]
"So, Midoriya. Have you decided what you want to do about a prosthetic?" Dr. Fujimaki asked. Izuku shrugged.
"I don't know. I've only just barely gotten all of my balance back from before. I don't want to throw it off again. Plus, I don't have any forearm muscles to get those expensive finger prosthetics, so it wouldn't serve any real function besides aesthetic." Izuku replied. It had been a few weeks since his last session with Dr. Fujimaki.
He had spent a lot of time considering if he wanted a prosthetic. His arm was cleanly cut off right above the tricep, right at the top of where his bicep used to be. Sure, he could get an attachment with an A.I. hand so he could do basic two-handed tasks again, but he would never be able to punch somebody with One for All with it.
Sure, he could turn the prosthetic into some sort of support item for hero work, but he wasn't sure that was something he needed. He still wasn't completely comfortable not having an arm, but the loss of it was symbolic to him. If he was able to become a hero without even having an arm… maybe somebody could become a hero without a quirk. If he wore a fake arm, that aesthetic, that inspiration to disabled kids and adults might be washed away.
He didn't have to say this, because Fujimaki understood him. Perhaps he understood Izuku better than he did himself.
"I understand you want to be seen as a disabled hero. It's truly is an inspirational idea. But I'm not talking about some fancy piece of tech to help you with possible hero work." Dr. Fujimaki said. Izuku looked at him confused.
"Then what would I need it for? I can walk, run, and use most two-handed devices with no sweat." Izuku said. The Doctor gave him a warm, understanding look.
"It wouldn't be for doing tasks better. You're almost independent as you were before the accident. This fake arm- it would just be there to ease your conscious." The man said. Izuku was even more confused.
"Ease my conscious?" Izuku asked. Fujimaki nodded.
"Yes. If you would please, can you tell me what you feel when you look at your stump? You don't need to, but I would appreciate it." He asked. Izuku furrowed his brows at the request but obliged.
He looked at his stump, and let his mind wander. The first thing that came up was embarrassment. A sort of awkward shame crept up in him as he gazed at his greatest weakness. His regret began to overflow as he continued to gaze at himself. Soon, other emotions popped up.
A feeling of inadequacy, as if he was less of a person because of his disability, was hovering there. Its full strength had been dismissed by Ms. Utsushimi's speech to him a few weeks ago, but a part of that still lingered.
There was a certain sense of grief that Izuku hadn't realized he felt until he let it flow through him. He really missed being whole. He hopes one day he'll stop feeling bad about it, but he knows he'll never forget it entirely. His body won't allow him to. The phantom pains were constant, and his body often forgot his arm wasn't there anymore and told him to use it. Eventually, he'd be able to overcome his innate reactions to use his non-existent arm, but he'd never be rid of all the phantom sensations.
Finally, there was a quiet anger below it all. He hated the way people looked at him in public. Izuku hated that he lost his arm because he was throwing a tantrum. It angered him it was gone in the first place. At this revelation, he ripped his gaze from his amputation. Sweat trickled down his face and back; he was breathing raggedly and unevenly. He didn't know how long he had been looking at his arm, but it had been a long time.
Eventually, he was able to collect himself enough to give a proper answer to the question.
"I hate the way that it's not there anymore and how it's my fault. I hate the way people look at me when I'm outside with my mom. I don't want to look at it anymore. Ever again, actually." Izuku said. Fujimaki nodded in understanding, but still looked pleased.
"Those feelings will fade with time, my boy. But that's why I think a prosthetic is a good idea. You don't have to wear it at home or while you work, but maybe it would be a good idea to wear it, say, out on the train, or in a grocery store. You'll get less attention that way. I know how cruel strangers are." He said.
"O-oh. Yeah, that makes sense. But wouldn't wearing it just put off the main issue? If I'm just pretending to have an arm, how am I supposed to get over not having one?" Izuku asked.
"That's a good question, Midoriya. The answer is pretty simple, however. Most amputees hate the sight of whatever they're missing. They get agitated over it fairly easily and their stress builds up. The best way to avoid that buildup of stress is to just ignore it. With you, I just want you to be comfortable when you're out in public." Dr. Fujimaki replied.
It made sense, Izuku thought. Izuku's goal was to master his negative feelings, but for other people, it might as easy as forgetting the problem entirely.
"S-so this would be to, like, give my brain a rest?" Izuku asked.
"In essence, yes." He answered. Izuku stayed still for a few moments, pondering the possibilities before nodding.
"I'll ask Ms. Utsushimi about it next week. I'll need a really light one so it won't mess up my balance though.
"Make sure it looks life-like. That's the key." Fujimaki said.
"Yes, sir."
They spent a few minutes making comfortable small talk. Izuku didn't get to talk to many people much anymore, not that he wanted to, but it was nice. Eventually, the topic of school came up.
School was something Izuku hadn't been putting much thought into. He wasn't sure what his future looked like in regards to his education, besides maybe, hopefully being accepted into U.A., the greatest Pro Hero academy.
After the incident, Izuku enrolled in remote learning. He had needed time to get away and children were nosey demons, so Inko had pulled him out of conventional classes. It was, in Izuku's opinion, the single best thing she had done to help him during his recovery.
When he was able to stop moping around the house, he was able to blaze through his work like never before. School had always held him back; biased teachers and slower students either intentionally giving him less attention because of his quirklessness or holding him back from working at his pace, which was typically faster than the average kid.
Now that he had dedicated himself to becoming a hero, his work ethic had been restored and he was able to get more school work done than ever. He didn't want to go back if he didn't have to.
"Are you sure? I understand you were bullied, but you need to interact with people your age." Dr. Fujimaki told Izuku when he revealed he didn't want to go back to school.
"They hated me, especially Kacchan." Izuku said, not happy about it. Fujimaki leaned forward.
"This being Katsuki Bakugou, correct? Why do you think he hates you?" He asked. Izuku shook his head.
"I don't really want to talk about that." Izuku said. Fujimaki nodded, returning the conversation back to school.
"You can't just hang out with me and your mom, Izuku. How are you going to survive a hero academy if you haven't socialized in years? Their courses are hard enough by themselves, I don't want you to struggle socially too." Fujimaki said. "Eventually, you're going to have to make friends. When I see that you're ready to do it again, I'll recommend it to your mother." Fujimaki continued.
"Wait, wait." Izuku said, raising a hand. "If I socialize outside of school, then can I stay in remote learning?" He asked, hopeful.
"... I'll make a deal with you, Izuku." Dr. Fujimaki said. Izuku leaned in to hear the man better.
"After I deem you healthy enough to go back to proper schooling, I want you to try your best to make some friends or at least talk to some strangers. If you can manage a stable relationship with someone your age, I'll let you continue your remote learning." He said. Izuku immediately nodded; he wasn't sure he wanted to do it, but he knew he wanted to avoid going back to Kacchan. They shook on it.
[x]
That night, after Izuku's regular nightmares, he dreamt of eight stars.
[x]
Im very much an "Outline" guy. I could honestly probably crack out a very good fanfic If I planned one out, but I'm here to exercise my freewriting. It was like this last year, and it'll be like it this year. Shoutout to anyone rereading this for the first time since I posted it.