The control center for the four Eye-Spy units currently positioned around the stadium was a small 1510 foot room situated above the top row of seats on the north side. The wall that faced down into the arena proper had been Charmed to be transparent from the interior and opaque from the exterior. Inside, there was a long table holding four silver mirrors onto which the images from each Eye-Spy were fed. Each mirror was monitored by a Muggleborn or Muggle-raised student under the command of Third Year Gryffindor Colin Creevey, Eye-Spy Incorporated's self-appointed "unit director and chief videographer." At the moment, however, the five Eye-Spy personnel were joined by additional students who were both investors in the company and members of Harry Black's "brain trust," all of whom had rushed to the control room in the aftermath of Jim Potter's attempt at the First Challenge. It was getting a little crowded in the small, poorly ventilated control room, and tensions were running high.
The fact that a Hungarian Horntail had just broken free from its chains and run amok might have had something to do with that.
Presently, three of the four screens were showing replays from Jim Potter's Challenge from different angles. As terrifying as it had been for all present, Jim's aerial duel with a nesting mother dragon had definitely won over the crowd—the Boy-Who-Lived was now tied for first place with Victor Krum. Those watching the replay were less entertained.
"That ridiculous grandstanding BUFFOON led the dragon STRAIGHT TO RAVENCLAW TOWER!" exclaimed Anthony Goldstein in a sputtering fury.
The video feed that had put the Ravenclaw into such high dudgeon was somewhat grainy, as it was at the extreme range of the Eye-Spy's visual capabilities. (The design team had not made long-range viewing a priority since none of the competitors were supposed to leave the arena.) But it clearly showed Jim hanging from what looked like the window ledge of Anthony's own dorm room while trying to reach his broomstick that had somehow landed inches away, while the angry dragon, which had landed on a parapet, drew nearer and nearer. Finally, the dragon's roar dislodged the Nimbus 2000 from its perch and right into Jim's hand just as the creature let loose a gout of fire. The very real possibility that Anthony's dorm room had just been set ablaze by the dragon only made the boy sputter louder and more incoherently, while his not-quite-girlfriend-just-yet Sue Li patted him on the shoulder consolingly.
Nearby, Hermione, Theo, and Blaise were focused intently on a different mirror displaying a different playback. This one showed Jim flying in circles around the enraged dragon while she was still chained to the central platform. His plan (which Hermione had thought was insane, but she couldn't come up with any better ideas for her fellow Gryffindor on short notice) was three-fold: (1) summon his broomstick all the way from Gryffindor Tower, (2) fly around the dragon, enraging her without getting incinerated, until she finally lifted off to pursue him to the limit of her chains, and (3) fly under her to snatch up the Golden Egg. That plan had gone pear-shaped when the dragon snapped her chains and began pursuing Jim in earnest, forcing him to lead the dragon away from the arena altogether lest the audience be endangered. Moments later, Jim returned—minus the dragon, which had crashed into a bridge and been knocked unconscious—to claim his Egg and the adulation of the crowd.
Hermione found all that suspicious, which was why she and two equally suspicious friends were now reviewing the footage of the dragon's escape in slow motion.
(The final mirror, which showed Ludo Bagman bloviating about Jim's performance, had no viewers at the moment.)
"There," said Blaise confidently while pointing at one corner of the screen.
In response, Colin tapped a sigil on the control panel with his wand. The image froze right as the dragon lifted off, and at Blaise's direction, Colin rewound the feed slightly and then zoomed in on the dragon's chains as tightly as possible. And while the Eye-Spies had not been prepared to clearly record images some distance away from the arena, they delivered a very crisp image of events from inside it. When viewed in slow-motion and at maximum magnification, the group could see the instant a link of the chain broke in two.
"That … that wasn't just a weak link," Hermione gasped. "The link spontaneously broke in two!"
"And very cleanly too," Theo murmured grimly. "Almost like it had been hit with a Cutting Curse."
"But we'd have seen a Cutting Curse, wouldn't we?" asked Colin.
"I don't know how it was done," Hermione answered angrily, "but that was clearly sabotage. We've got to warn Harry. Theo, send a Patronus …!"
"Too late!" Colin exclaimed while pointing at another screen. Down below, the crowd erupted in cheers as Harry Black entered the stadium. The four Eye-Spies swiveled to show the last Triwizard Champion from different angles. Theo leaned in towards the one that most clearly showed Harry's face.
"Uh-oh," he muttered.
"What?" Hermioned asked nervously. "What is it?"
"Harry's smirking," Theo answered grimly. Next to him, Blaise studied his friend's features and grimaced himself.
"No offense," said Sue Li, "but isn't Harry always smirking?"
"Not like that," Blaise said uneasily. "That's Harry's dangerous smirk. It's the one he uses when he thinks he's about to do something cool but that he knows will horrify everyone else."
Hermione said nothing, but she stared fretfully down at her friend so far down below in the dragon's den. She knew that smirk all too well herself.
Down in the arena, Harry Black stood confidently. Almost too confidently, but Bagman had directed him to "put on a show," so by Merlin that was what Harry was going to do. Whether it was the sort of show Ludo Bagman wanted to see was a different question.
After taking a moment to acknowledge the crowd, Harry took two steps towards the waiting Ukrainian Ironbelly. It growled at him menacingly. The boy took a deep breath and with exaggerated precision pointed his wand at the dragon before loudly calling out a spell.
"ACCIO GOLDEN EGG!"
Nothing happened. After a few seconds, a wave of nervous laughter passed over the crowd, but Harry was unperturbed. He simply gave an exaggerated shrug and then called out loud enough for the entire arena to hear:
"OH WELL! IT COULDN'T HURT TO TRY!"
This time the laughter of the crowd was louder and less nervous. Harry turned towards the box behind him where Ludo Bagman sat bearing a furious expression. The boy smirked once more and tapped his wand to his forehead as if to salute the older wizard. Then, he turned back towards the dragon, took four quick steps forward and dropped off the edge of the walkway that surrounded the arena to disappear into the hidden underbelly of the arena.
Up in the recording booth, Hermione and the others watched pensively.
"Do either of you know what his plan actually is?" she asked.
"Plan-sss," said Blaise. "Plural. He said he had several potential plans, and he would decide which would be the most likely to succeed once it was his turn and he could see what he was up against."
Hermione nodded and said nothing, but her nervousness was obvious. It only grew as the clock ticked down with no sign of activity from the Slytherin Champion. Suddenly, Colin excitedly pointed to the opposite side of the arena from where Harry had entered. Rising up from beneath the walkway was an unnaturally thick and heavy fog. It was joined by three more fog banks rising up at each of the other cardinal directions. Soon, the entire arena was so full of fog that it reached almost to the top of the Ironbelly's head. The dragon flapped her wings repeatedly in an effort to fan away the mist, but it only grew stronger. Furthermore, the fog was accompanied by an eerie hush from the crowd which, deprived of any action to cheer for, was reduced to a subdued and nervous muttering.
"Wait a minute," Colin interjected. "Do you mean to say that Harry Black, the guy who founded Eye-Spy and finagled a contract to record the Triwizard Tournament, is using a plan for beating his dragon that will prevent us from seeing what he's doing?"
"So it would seem," Hermione answered tiredly. Beside her, Blaise chuckled.
"That's so … Harry."
The clock continued to tick down with no sign of activity from the Champion, and after nearly ten minutes, the thick mist finally began to dissipate. Suddenly, the eerie hush was broken when Harry Black's voice rang out, amplified by the Sonorous Charm.
"HALLOO! HALL-OOO-OOO!"
As the boy's voice echoed across the whole arena, the mist cleared enough for him to come into view, standing confidently about ten feet down the walkway, just out of the dragon's firing range. Unexpectedly, he was also on the opposite side of the arena from where he'd first entered. In response to his call, the Ironbelly whirled about and reoriented herself to guard her eggs from any threat in that direction.
Not that Harry seemed at all threatening at the moment. When he caught the dragon's attention, he grinned and waved at her, his voice still fully amplified.
"AND GOOD DAY TO YOU, MIGHTY DRAGON! I AM HARRY BLACK, LORD OF THE ANCIENT AND NOBLE HOUSE OF WILKES! AND I HAVE BEEN CHARGED BY THE GOBLET OF FIRE ITSELF AND ALSO BY LUDO BAGMAN, FORMERLY OF THE WIMBOURNE WASPS AND NOW A HIGH GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, WITH A SACRED QUEST! TO SEEK AND RECOVER … THE GOLDEN EGG!"
Harry tilted his head slightly as if inspecting the dragon's nest.
"AH, I SEE YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ONE! IT'S VURRY NICE-A! CAN I COME CLOSER AND HAVE A LOOK?"
The boy took three steps closer to the dragon, which registered its disapproval with a deafening roar and a burst of flame. Meant for intimidation, the fire didn't come near Harry … yet.
Up in the control room, everyone stared at a screen, completely flummoxed at Harry's bizarrely direct approach and his even more bizarre speech.
"What on earth does he think he's doing?!?" Hermione exclaimed. As if in response, Blaise Zabini slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in a mix of shock and horror. Plus, perhaps, a bit of admiration for his friend's audacity.
"Oh, Harry," he said weakly. "No, Harry. Just … no."
"What is it?" Theo asked urgently. "What's Harry doing?"
Blaise pulled his hand away from his face and stared at the screen in both amazement and resignation.
"He's doing Monty Python!"
Down below, Harry took another three steps towards the dragon. He was now quite near the dragon's range for a direct fire-breath attack.
"NOW LOOK! IF YOU WILL NOT LET ME HAVE YOUR GOLDEN EGG, I SHALL TAKE IT BY FORCE!"
The dragon roared again even louder, but Harry seemed unimpressed.
"YOU DON'T FRIGHTEN ME, YOU UKRAINIAN PIG-LIZARD! GO AND BOIL YOUR BOTTOM, YOU SPAWN OF A SILLY SALAMANDER! I BLOW MY NOSE AT YOU, SO-CALLED IRONBELLY WITH YOUR PILE OF DRAGON-OMELETS IN ZEE MAKING!"
Up in the stands, in the Hufflepuff section, Zacharias Smith shook his head in utter confusion.
"I don't understand this at all!"
"Honestly," replied Justin Finch-Fletchley. "I'm not sure I do either. It's a bit confusing because it sounds like he's doing both Arthur's lines and those of the French knights!
"I believe you'll find it's pronounced kaniggets," Kevin Entwhistle added while trying to maintain a straight face. Then, he and Justin made eye contact, and they both burst into a fit of giggles.
"What are you two on about?!?" Smith snapped.
"Hush, Zach," said Justin, with a broad smile still on his face. "We're trying to watch a farcical draconic ceremony."
Harry took five steps closer to the dragon.
"ENOUGH! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU NO MORE, YOU TINY-BRAINED WIPER OF OTHER PEOPLE'S BOTTOMS! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! YOUR MOTHER WAS AN IGUANA AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!"
Apparently, Harry's slur against the Ironbelly's parentage was a bridge too far. The dragon surged forward to the limit allowed by her chains, and she stretched her neck as far as possible towards the Champion to unleash a blast of fire that washed over him. The audience erupted into screams of terror and dismay.
But when the tremendous flames died down, the crowd was amazed to see Harry Black standing placidly in the middle of a patch of partially melted and still-smouldering stone but otherwise looking completely unharmed. He casually brushed some black ash off his shoulders.
"I'VE HAD WORSE1 NOW COME ON, YA PANSY! GIVE ME YOUR EGG! OR I SHALL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!"
And with that, Harry started patting the top of his head with his hands in what was obviously meant to be some strange gesture of contempt, while blowing a raspberry out of his mouth. Utterly enraged by the display, the Ironbelly strained against the chains that bound her. And this time, the chains broke just as they had with Jim's dragon!
Up in the control room, Hermione screamed, but she could not have been heard over the pandemonium that erupted from the rest of the audience as the dragon stretched its wings and took to the sky. The Ironbelly blasted Harry once again with dragon fire and then, for good measure landed on top of him. And through the whole thing, Harry's cries of distress were still being amplified for everyone to hear.
"HELP, HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!"
Undeterred, the dragon continued to blast fire while tearing at the ground where Harry stood with her talons until, with a terrible rumble, the walkway collapsed entirely, dumping both Harry and the dragon down into the pit below. The crowd could no longer see the two, but everyone could still hear the angry roars of the dragon and the baffling responses of the Champion.
"AH! NOW WE SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!"
ROAR!!!
"EVERYBODY! COME AND SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!"
ROAR!!!
"YOU ALL SEE THIS DRAGON REPRESSING ME? YOU SAW IT, DIDN'T YOU?"
ROAR!!!
After that, Harry apparently had nothing else to say or, worse, was unable to say anything else. The dragon's angry roars and fiery attacks continued for another twenty seconds before her rage was finally spent, and she began to calm down before flying back up to her nest. She had barely touched down when Harry's amplified voice called out one final time.
"ALRIGHT. WE'LL CALL IT A DRAW!"
Unlike the four earlier Champions, Ludo Bagman had done almost no commentary for Harry's run. Indeed, he was so confused by Harry's strategy that he couldn't think of anything to say. He could only watch in abject horror as the boy simply walked straight towards the Ukrainian Ironbelly while loudly (and bizarrely) taunting it until finally the beast snapped its chains (AGAIN!) and attacked the boy with both fire and claw until they both fell into the pit.
It had been nearly thirty seconds since Harry's last remark but there had been no sign or sound of the boy since. And for those thirty seconds, Bagman could only stare in shock at the smoking arena. But then, his daze was shattered by the sound of a heavy metal object striking the table next to him with great force. Startled, he let out a small shriek and turned to see what had slammed into the table.
It was a Golden Egg. And holding it was an annoyed Harry Black, who seemed completely unharmed and was glaring at Bagman in annoyance.
"Right," said Harry. "Here's your egg. Now could you please turn off the timer? I've been done for nearly three minutes, and it's still running!"
Ludo simply blubbered for another five seconds before Harry barked at him.
"LUDO! TIME!"
Bagman jerked, fumbled for his wand, and then tapped the sigil to stop the timer with 16:18 remaining.
"But … but … HOW?!?" one of the other judges stammered.
Harry shrugged and turned to address the entire group.
"Disillusionment. An overpowered Fumos Maxima. Doppelganger Defense. A modified Sonorous that incorporates a ventriloquism effect. The rest should be fairly obvious."
"Uh-huh," said Porpentina Goldstein, one of the judges in this box. "So what was up with all that nonsense you were saying to rile up the dragon and get it to attack your doppelganger?"
"Oh, that was all lines from a Muggle film I'm very partial to," Harry answered. "Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's very funny."
"What?" Bagman exclaimed. "But … why would you build your strategy around some poxied Muggle comedy?!?"
Harry turned back to Mr. Bagman, his genial expression hardening into one much colder.
"Because you told me to give this Tournament the dignity and respect that it deserves, Mr. Bagman. So I did!"
Then, Harry turned and looked towards the other judges, a winning smile back on his face.
"So, how many points did I get?"