Disclaimer: Law & Order SVU/OC and its characters don't belong to me. This story has been written for fun only, not for money. English being my second language, I had some help for vocabulary but all thoughts, ideas behind the story and dialogues are mine.
AN: Hey guys! So thrilled about the new seasons! Here is a quick scene I imagined following SVU 25x03 and with speculations about OC 4x04 (family dinner). Written before episodes 4 were aired.
Summary: Olivia finally calls Elliot back. Spoilers for SVU 25x03 and speculation for OC 4x04. Follows the 5minCalls concept (ish).
Spoilers: SVU 25x03, speculations on OC 4x04
Putting the Darkness Away
by musical-Aven
Seated in her car, parked on a quiet street, Olivia waited for her son's dance practice to finish. She sat in silence, the rhythmic tapping of raindrops on the car roof helped calm her mind. Still, she found herself lost in thoughts, some drifting to Maddie Flynn, to her career, to her life…and eventually inevitably gravitated toward a certain detective too.
I just got back. Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice. Call me.
She hadn't. Not yet. The weight of the recent cases added to her already heavy mind. And, if she were honest with herself, she had to admit she didn't have the energy to deal with Elliot right now. To deal with her emotions when she was going to finally face him after months of absence. Her fingers absently played with the necklace laying on her chest. She had had the time to think about the compass, its meaning, while Elliot was gone. Maybe she even overthought about it. Compassion, Joy, Love…but she wasn't there yet. She thought she would be, when he came back. But the fear was back, now that she was faced with that possibility again. Also, she had a lot of things to deal with right now, without adding her relationship with Stabler to the mix.
She closed her eyes, exhaustion washing over her. She scolded herself for the internal struggle. She shook her head at the irony: realizing that the hardest thing right now was to *not* reach for him. Because she wanted to, desperately. She needed her partner and she knew simply hearing his voice would help. And yet, she was denying herself that comfort and happiness simply out of fear.
Opening her eyes again, her thoughts shifted to her recent EMDR therapy session, a multi-step program recommended by Dr. Lindstrom to address her deepest, most repressed traumas. Maddie's case had triggered a resurgence of nightmares and memories buried for more than a decade, something she hadn't faced in years. Horrifying images from past cases, close calls, and a haunting beach house disturbed her sleep, or lack thereof. Exhaustion was even more evident on her face these last few weeks, even to Noah had commented on it in the mornings.
Her fingers caressed the compass pendant again, and she finally admitted that what she needed right now was beyond the therapy alone. Admitting to herself that the only thing that would help her go through tonight would be hearing Elliot's voice.
Exhaling, Olivia retrieved her phone from her coat. Despite her drained energy, she pressed his name, initiating the call. The ring resonated through the Bluetooth speakers of her car, filling the confined space with anticipation.
"Hey," Stabler answered, his voice showing some surprise but mostly relief when hearing from her.
"Hi," she replied, exhaustion peaking through hers. "Is this a good time?"
Olivia heard him walk to a quieter room and close a door.
"Yeah, of course. Anytime is a good time for you to call." He replied, and it was cheesy, but it made her smile nonetheless.
"So… you're back?"
"I am." He confirmed, emphasizing his commitment to stay. "How are you?" He asked, and she wasn't sure how to respond.
She was silent for a moment.
"I…I'm sorry I haven't returned your call sooner-"
"Liv, don't. It's okay." His voice was gentle, the unspoken You don't owe me anything hanging in the air between them.
"There's this case…"
"Maddie Flynn." He finished for her. "Carisi told me about it when we saw each other at the courtroom."
Olivia nodded silently.
"What else did Carisi say?" She asked keeping her tone light, even though she suspected that the two men had discussed more than just the case.
"That you were taking it hard." Elliot answered honestly, then decided to push a little. "That you were taking it personally."
She sighed, not fighting his assessment.
"I saw her, El…she was right in front of me…"
"You didn't know that at the time, Liv. Plus, you had Noah with you, he was your priority, and that's totally fine." He reassured her.
Carisi really didn't know how to keep things to himself, huh.
"I know, but still…" She didn't elaborate, aware that Elliot was the only person who understood her reaction.
He remained silent, letting her breathe on the other side of the line, a comfort she was grateful for.
"What can I do?" He asked softly after a minute or so.
She needed him, wanted to sink into his arms and let him take care of her, but she couldn't bring herself to verbalize it. She shut her eyes in frustration, fighting with herself. Elliot sensed it.
"Want me to come to you?" He offered, it was sweet and exactly what she needed.
Tears welled up in her eyes, a response to her exhaustion, anger towards herself, and the sweetness of Elliot's proposition.
"I'm waiting for Noah's class to end so we can go home. It's pizza night." She declined his offer.
Elliot understood but still yearned to comfort her. Olivia took a few seconds to collect herself before speaking again.
"I started this new therapy today…"
"Yeah?" He encouraged.
"It's supposed to help deal with traumatic events and long-term effects of trauma." She heard Elliot swallow at that. "It's a long process, but…I think…I think it's going to help."
She didn't specify help with what, but she hoped Elliot understood that it was to help her move forward and advance towards happiness. Towards him. She was still caressing the compass at her neck as she waited for his response.
"Good." He simply said, supportive.
It gave Olivia the courage to continue.
"I'm realizing there are things you don't know about…" she didn't need to specify what time she was referencing. "And it's stopping me…" she halted, swallowing with difficulty, before forcing the words out of her mouth. "It's stopping me from reaching out."
With that, everything clicked into Elliot's mind: her reticence to open up since his return, her concealing difficult cases or dangerous situations so that he didn't barge into her life to protect her, her hesitation to share her life, her son, with him, her delays in returning his calls. It all made sense now, and even though Elliot could have guessed it, she was now confirming why. He was grateful she was sharing this now.
"Want to tell me?" He asked, careful not to add to the triggering thoughts she must be having.
"Not really," she scoffed, "but I think it's inevitable at this point."
He nodded even though she didn't see it.
"I'll be there, whenever you're ready." And that brought more tears to her eyes.
Elliot waited a beat before pushing again.
"I'm here for you, Liv."
"I know…" She answered automatically, wiping her eyes.
"Do you?" Elliot asked, not in a condescending way, just in a way that he really meant it and that she needed to believe he wouldn't leave her again.
Olivia took a breath before answering truthfully.
"My head knows, yeah."
Elliot hummed, pushing once again.
"And your heart?"
Olivia's breath got caught in her throat. This was the most intimate conversation they'd had in months. Her voice was shaky with emotions, but she tried to cover it.
"Did I tell you I started to see this new therapist?" She answered, deflecting and not.
Elliot laughed at her non-answer. It told him exactly what he needed to know. The air seemed to lighten a little bit.
"What about you? How's your mom?" Olivia turned the conversation.
"She's…declining, I guess." He sounded sad. "She found a specialized home she liked. We're visiting it this weekend."
"I'm sorry, El."
"Me too…" He hesitates before plunging. "My brothers are in town."
Her silence showed her surprise.
"Brothers?"
"Yeah, Randall and Joe Jr."
"Wow, I haven't heard those names in almost a quarter of a century." She teased, reminiscing about the only conversation about his siblings they had back in the days.
"Yeah well…there wasn't anything nice to say."
Olivia let a sympathizing sound at that.
"Having them here must be a lot."
"Yes and no…it's nice for Mama."
"I'm sure. Will your sisters come too?" She couldn't remember their names but knew of their existence.
"I'm not sure. Randall has invited them to this…" he took a breath, "family dinner tomorrow. He insisted to cook and gather the family at my place."
Olivia knew Elliot wasn't enchanted by that idea.
"Your mom will love it. It's going to be nice to have most of the family all together." She reminded him why he should do it.
"Yeah…or it could be a total shitshow too." He laughed self-deprecatingly.
Olivia laughed with him, aware of the high probability.
"You should come." Elliot said without much thought.
"To your big family dinner?" She asked surprised, and also anxious.
"The kids will be there," he continued, as if that was an argument, "you could bring Noah."
She was taken aback that he would invite her to the gathering. From the sound of it it was pretty special and uncommon. She wasn't sure it was her place.
"You just want someone in your corner if the shitshow happens, don't you?" She teased, deflecting his invitation.
"Maybe." He laughed and let a beat pass. "I'm serious about the invitation though." His voice was soft.
"El… you'll have enough to deal with without us being there." She reasoned with him.
She knew if she went with Noah, they would be his focus all night and he wouldn't deal with whatever emotions this family dinner would rise within him.
Elliot knew she was right.
"Probably…" He admitted, reluctantly.
Olivia didn't want him to be disappointed, though.
"Raincheck?" She offered.
"Yeah?" He sounded hopeful.
"Well, I'll need to put faces to the names of the Stabler's siblings eventually, right?" She smiled.
"Right." Olivia heard the smile in his voice. "Raincheck it is then."
She saw Noah coming towards her car. She felt better now that they'd talked.
"I gotta go." She announced. "Try not to let your brothers get to you?" She teased but knew him better than that.
He laughed.
"Yeah, I'll try. Say hi to Noah for me?"
At the same time, her son opened the passenger's door. Olivia smiled at him, a real smile that wouldn't have been there if she hadn't talked to Elliot.
"Why don't you tell him yourself?" She spoke louder for the speakers, motioning to her son that she was on the phone.
"Hey Noah!" Elliot's voice carried through, and she saw the excitement in her son's eyes.
"Elliot!" he climbed into the seat and closed the door. "You're back!" he spoke to the speakers.
"I am. How was dance?"
As Noah eagerly chatted away to Elliot through the car's speakers, Olivia couldn't help but feel her heart swell. The sound of her son's excitement combining with Elliot's familiar voice created a comforting space. She shifted the car into drive and started navigating through the streets, feeling much lighter than a few minutes before. She was happy to have reached out to her partner, after all. It was a reminder that sometimes, a simple 5-minute call could work wonders, putting the lingering dark thoughts away, at least for a little while.
The end ! Hope you enjoyed!
musical-Aven
February 2024