Max was late. Carmen was fuming. Miranda was dispatched to save the night. Miranda did not enjoy being given that responsibility. She hazarded a guess and headed towards the strip of nightlife that oozed with the good the bad and the ugly. Ducked into a few restaurants to see if he was enjoying a pre-dinner snack. Several texts went unanswered. She hit the redial button. Third time lucky.

'Where ARE you?'

There was a godawful racket blaring over the phone.

'I'm at the bar. In a sailor hat. Wahey!'

Miranda sighed. What was with that man and clothes? He spent more on his shoes than she did on her wardrobe for the summer. She cruised around looking for a tall shmuck in a sailor hat. Plenty to choose from tonight. The best of British and the generous Germans were cluttering up the street. She scanned the crowds impatiently. Carmen was not going to be happy once he'd been dragged back home, the worse for wear.

'Which bar?'

A bar with a red sign. Miranda prowled around until she found one. She peered in. a few candidates were standing around. She followed the din. There he was. Making the biggest noise of all with a group of hefty sportsmen. She waved a menu at him until he noticed her.

'Miranda!'

'What are you doing?'

'Being British!'

Miranda rolled her eyes.

'Shouting wahey at everything does not make you British.'

'They're teaching me sea shanties. Have you ever heard of them?'

'Unfortunately yes. Now come on. You're late.'

'I love them!'

The group started roaring out another number. Miranda stuffed her fingers in her ears and waited.

'Who is this Wellerman guy?' Max shouted.

Miranda shrugged.

'I don't keep up with the who's who of the maritime world. Come on, let's go. Carmen is waiting.'

'SUGAR AND TEA AND RUM' Max bellowed.

'For fucks sake Max, Carmen will be serving your head on a plate if you don't hurry up. Maybe burn that hat while she's at it.'

Max reluctantly disengaged with his group and waved goodbye. Banged into a table on the way out. Grinned inanely. Started singing another nonsense song. Miranda sighed. Working with Max sometimes felt like babysitting a toddler.