Hi, so here is another story and it is an episode based story like the last few this time in the later series.

I do like the later series and this episode The Lost Sheep in particular however I really struggled with the character of Olivia when she came back from Arizona this episode in particular, as a parent I don't understand her actions, I mean she basically belittles Erin, bullies her out of marriage, all but spits on Ashley and gets John to cover for her. Erin in the later series is basically an afterthought, they never seem to know quiet what to do with her and they create man after man to throw at her and to be honest Ashley was the best-granted Paul was quite good (until they ruined him in the movies) but this is a fix it basically for Erin because she deserved to marry the man she loved and she deserved to marry him despite her mother throwing an almighty temper tantrum (to be kind). Seriously...Olivia did twenty plus years married to John and despite everything I thought it was always pretty clear how he viewed religion...

On that note this does mention atheism, war, PTSD and trauma-basically all the good stuff the series doesn't cover. If this is a hard line for you then maybe stop here. I do not wish to offend anyone but this is based off the episode and nothing more. Personal beliefs don't come into it.

If you've read my work then you know spelling and grammar are not my strongest so please keep that in mind.

This is not going to be word for word cannon either. This story should be about eleven chapters long.

I will try and update when I can but with work that might be a bit sporadic so apologies in the meantime.

I have also brought back the original John Boy. The first five series were the best and it is arguably down to Richard Thomas, Ellen Corby and Will Geer being just as involved as Micheal Learnerd and Ralph Waite.

And I will try and get another chapter done before the holidays.

The Same Coin

Chapter 9-Sorry Doesn't Always Make It Right

When Olivia hears the news that Erin might be expecting a baby from Miss Mamie and Miss Emily it takes Esther to get her to understand what she couldn't before.

"Olivia I thought it was a lovely wedding. John was so gallant"

"Oh he's gallant alright" Olivia said quietly. Corabeth had wanted to talk about the wedding when she'd come in for her buttons and thread and now she was holding Olivia up. Usually with Corabeth that was par for the course but she had left Cindy with the children at home and Elizabeth and she wanted to be in her home cooking supper. It was shocking how mundane the little things that she had missed when she had been trapped in that hospital.

"I thought she looked lovely. Erin I mean"

"She did. And Aimee did well too"

It was always easy to turn Corabeth onto the subject of her daughter, the older woman beamed in maternal pride and Olivia was about to ask for her bill when the shop bell jangled and Miss Mamie Baldwin entered the shop.

"Ah Olivia…how nice to see you" she said and Olivia smiled. One could not fault the Baldwin sisters on their manners or their general good joy. If it was not for that still she would like them more. But she had four sons a husband and a father in law and she was willing to bet that all four of them had come home from that house three sheets to the wind weather she knew about it or not.

"Miss Mamie"

"What can I help you with Miss Mamie?"

"Oh some more blue thread if you don't mind and some baby buttons, fourteen should do me…and if you have some pink wool that too. Emily thinks we should prepare for everything and she's probably right. You must be excited Olivia."

"Excited about what?"

"Erin"

"I didn't know Erin had anything to be excited about" Olivia said truthfully. "I thought with Ashely back at his camp then—"

Miss Mamie stared at her as she trialled off. There was something here in the older woman's eyes, surprise, panic, sympathy.

And suddenly Olivia had a feeling what was going to happen, the news that she was going to hear second hand and not from her own daughter who had not been to the house since her wedding six weeks ago. Even Ashley leaving she'd heard from Mary Ellen and Olivia had waited for Erin to come to her so they could talk it out. That had been a week ago.

"I thought…oh…well…I guess she was waiting for the right time to tell you but she confirmed it today and I wanted to get—"

"Erin is pregnant"

It was said flatly and Miss Mamie's greying eyebrows drew together.

"Yes" she said and there was no beating around the bush and when the phantom pain left her she would be grateful for that.

"Yes. She suspected for a week or so but today the Doctor confirmed it"

Olivia smiled though she feared it was horribly twisted.

"Well that's lovely" she said. "Is she phoning Ashely or…"

"Writing I think. Oh it's a good thing Olivia! I have to say it's fast but…"

"Fast pregnancies usually means fast labour" Corabeth said wisely. Olivia thought it terribly ironic that out of the three of them she was the only one who had gone into labour physically but Corabeth was a wonderful distraction when one was needed. Miss Mamie nodded along too as Ike brought her, her stuff.

"I should go" she said gathering her own parcels. "I left Cindy in the house with the children and I want to cook supper. It's the little things you know. Tell Erin…" she dithered for a second, there was too many things that she wanted to say to Erin and things she wanted to hear from Erin and so much of it was tied up in this, this most painful moment. This moment here that John had told her was coming and she had brushed aside thinking that it would not hurt her. Well…as it turned out her husband was right.

It had hurt more than there were words to say.

Her daughter was pregnant and she had not told Olivia. Her daughter was pregnant.

"Tell Erin I will see her shortly" she managed and then she left the store trying to hide her face. She was not a woman to be overcome by a sentimental moment, she was not a woman who broke down easily. She had been a prairie girl who had married a soldier, she had lost one child, she had buried her father in law and most of her family on her own side and one of her son in laws too. She did not break down, God knows a woman who raised children through two World Wars and a Depression did not break down easily.

And yet here she was walking down the dirt road crying because her daughter was pregnant.

Cindy took one look at her face when she saw her and took the groceries off her at the door. Esther was there too and as Olivia sat down her eyes closed she missed the look between the younger woman and the older one that had Cindy going back into the house alone. Then it was just Olivia and Esther and Esther looked at her flatly from the porch unable to ask but clearly wanting to know what the hell was going on (and she said that reverently).

"Miss Mamie was in Ike's store today. Erin is pregnant. She got it confirmed today"

Esther banged her stick on the floor and Olivia cracked open one eye.

"Good" Esther said "Baby. Good…news"

"Yes"

"You not happy"

"No"

"Ashley?"

"Not that…well…yes that. Because it comes back to him doesn't it. She's having a child, my grandchild and the father of that baby does not believe in God. I told her that this would happen, I told her that when she had children religion would be a hard thing for her to compromise"

"Has she compromised?"

"I don't know. She didn't tell me she was pregnant, she's suspected for two weeks and she didn't tell me. I didn't even know if she knew how to get pregnant, I never told her"

Esther rolled her eyes at that and Olivia sighed.

"Your angry"

"I am"

"Because she married man you did not like?"

"Yes"

"Like your Momma…she did not….like John"

"She did"

"She did not…she thought you…family way. So did I"

Olivia smiled. In truth she could not blame either woman for thinking that was the reason why John had ran off with her in the night and married her. The whole thing was a hot mess from start to finish.

"Erin…married…good man"

"She married a man that doesn't believe in God"

Esther banged her stick on the ground again.

"He hit her?"

"No!"

"Fool around?"

"Not that I know off"

"Gamble?"

"He's a solider Esther name one solider that doesn't gamble or drink"

"He good man" Esther said finally. "Erin loves him. Erin have baby. Erin be happy."

"Does it not bother you?" Olivia asked finally. "Does it not bother you that she is married to a man that doesn't believe in God? Does it not—"

"It does—but you love John—no church"

"John believed in God—"

"Not after Ben"

There was a flatness to it and Olivia turned to look at her. Esther gave that rolling shrug again.

"Lost brother…lived…so many died. He struggle. He hid it from you but a mother knows." The woman leaned forwards and rested her trembling hand on hers.

"Erin happy. That is all that matters. Because one day you blink and baby gone. Like Ben"

There was a moment where the two of them stared at each other and then slowly her mother in law got to her feet and shuffled on into the house.

Olivia had to say, she had left her stunned into silence.

She did not tell John Erin's news. She was sure that John did not know. Sure that if John knew the first person that he would have told was her. So she did not tell him. She listened to the chattering of her family and Olivia thought about what she was going to do next. Because she had to do something and she had to do something soon. Already the divide was thicker than she had seen it, wider than she had wanted it to be.

She brushed her short hair and thought to herself as John pattered around the bedroom.

"I heard it's France" John said flatly. "Jason tells me it's all France now. That's what there preparing for"

"So it's invasion?"

"Yeah" John said climbing into bed. "It's logical, us and the Brits, Canada…we take the West and the Russian's cut through the East. They take their own land back, whip through Poland, Romania, Hungary…" he shook his head. "If we win this because of them they are going to walk away with half the world"

"Russia"

"Yeah. It's what I would do. A new Empire to rival the old and more boys tramping over the bones of the dead"

He was bitter and perhaps it showed because he smiled when she turned to look at him. It was the same smile he got all those years ago when someone had asked him what he'd done in the war. Suddenly it hit her that he used to be asked that when they were at Church.

And then suddenly she was too tired to fight anymore.

Because her sons were going to war. John-Boy had already seen combat and would go back for more, Jason was in uniform and likely to be on the ground with the invasion, Ben was in uniform and chomping at the bit to go and Jim-Bob…well…they hadn't built a plan that would keep her son out of the sky. All of them. her babies in uniform killing and being killed.

And it was just so pointless.

"I'm going to go and see Erin tomorrow" she said quietly. "I might be most of the day, or I might not be, but I think were going to have a sewing spell in the afternoon…your mother still is sharp with a needle when she can be"

"Alright" John said easily. He did not comment on why she was suddenly going to Erin's or why she setting up for a sewing spell. Maybe John already knew deep down or maybe it was his way of knowing her before she knew herself.

There was a second where the two of them stared at each other and then John got into bed and turned out the lights. Underneath the covers she took his hand and it was there waiting for her. She had never had to turn John away. Even when she was mad at John and even when John had been mad at her they had tried not to go to bed on an argument.

It had been about religion most of the time. Religion and the children.

And here she was. Battling it out again.

"Your gonna be fine" John said into the darkness. "But if you want I can come with you"

It wasn't phrased as a question, it was a remark said in the darkness of a room between two people who knew each other better than they knew themselves.

"No" she said finally. "This is a thing that I have to do alone"

There wasn't anything else that needed to be said between the two of them, wasn't anything else that could be said between the two of them.

She turned over and then John said in the darkness.

"Your looking uncommonly young to be a grandma Liv. And uncommonly pretty"

"John—"

"I meant to Virginia and John Curtis…unless there is something that you know that I don't?"

He knew then she surmised. Or he suspected.

She caught his expression even in the dark and she knew that he was grinning.

"Oh what am I going to do with you?"

"Kiss me?"

She laughed even though she didn't want to.

But she did it all the same.

And there you go, I hope you enjoy, two more chapters left to go and I will update sooner rather than later.

Next Chapter-The Penultimate Chapter-In which Erin and Olivia have a conversation and John has hopes that life is slowly turning back to normal...on the home front anyway.