Jane sat in the carriage, wrestling with her dark thoughts, both wishing and dreading that the punch would be strong at the assembly. Mrs. Bennet and Lydia chattered about Mr. Bingley in his blue coat. They hadn't spoken with the man; they had only seen him from the upstairs window as he repaid their father's visit. But to them, he was all that was gracious and handsome. He was practically waiting to propose to Lydia.
Jane felt the floorboards of the carriage adjust. Her eyes moved to Kitty, who, though chatting with a smile, gripped her skirt and pressed into the floorboards. She was feeling rather anxious tonight, or perhaps left out. Drawing attention to her plight would make the situation worse. So, Jane looked through the window as the carriage came to a stop.
Lizzy barely had time to escape the carriage before Mrs. Bennet, Lydia, and Kitty piled out. Mary descended with rigid dignity. Jane slid from the carriage. The music floated out of the hall into the night air. But the cacophony of a hundred people's voices made Jane shudder. Never knowing who had a false smile and who pretended to enjoy her company. Did anyone like her for herself? "None of them do," her mind whispered. "They tolerate you to gain the company of your sisters."
Lizzy appeared before her with a beguiling smile.
"Despite Mama's fears, Mr. Bingley has yet to arrive, let alone be swept up by one of our neighbors." Lizzy laughed, a familiar sound that was a balm to Jane's soul.
They entered the crush of people. Jane stayed close to her mother unless she was dancing, as Mama usually called her for display. Lizzy squeezed her arm, springing away to find Charlotte, oblivious to the whispers Jane heard. "Such a shame," "a downright shame," "what a shame," "poor Jane."
Jane smiled and held her hands demurely together, though she wanted to wring them. She wanted to shout; she wanted to run into the night. She wanted to escape the pitying smiles and whispers. But, she held her hands, and smiled to those around her.
John Lucas asked her to dance. She accepted with a smile, not letting her feelings get in the way of others' enjoyment. Not knowing what to say, but knowing conversation flowed easier, discussing the others family, she inquired after the Lucas family.
"Oh, you know Charlotte is always spending time with Miss Lizzy. Even Maria has started to want time with Miss Lizzy, much to my mother's relief. Maria's shyness lessens with her." Jane smiled and made a polite comment, and John discussed his parents and his home.
Peter Long then asked for a dance. Jane asked the same line of questions, hearing her blood rush in her ears. Peter Long carried on the conversation without noticing Jane spoke very little.
He delivered her to her mother just in time for the unofficial main event: the arrival of Mr. Bingley. The hall quieted, which made Jane agonize for those thrown into such intense scrutiny. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her mother's finger out, counting the party members.
"Only five?" Jane wondered, "Were we misinformed?" The rest of the crowd had the same thought. Whispers rushed about the hall like wind through the birch trees. Grow louder and stronger with each gust of questions. Mama's voice cut through the noise, calling Lizzy, who pulled Charlotte with her. Mama led the way through the crowds to Sir Lucas, with her group following like ducklings. "Sir Lucas! Would you care to introduce us?" the matron trilled as the music sprang up again.
"Of course, my dear lady," Sir Lucas said jovially, starting with introductions. Jane curtisied at her turn, heard the names, and looked at the group. Mr. Bingley looked pleasant, as tall as his friend, though not as dark or dour. His happy manners made him entirely approachable. Like Lizzy, he had a good-natured smile that seemed prone to laughter and eyes that found joy wherever they looked. Currently, they rested on her.
Jane jolted from her thoughts with a blush as Mr. Bingley asked Charlotte for a dance. Mrs. Bennet tried to extol Jane's virtues, but they were weaving their way through the crowd to the line. Jane had mixed feelings. She felt slighted; he had looked directly at her and chose Charlotte instead. "Even Charlotte, a spinster, is better than you," her mind said. Her blood pounded in her ears as she turned back to Sir Lucas, whose boisterous voice described Mr. Bingley coming to Lucas Lodge and their discussion. Jane went back to her thoughts.
"I suppose he was looking for a familiar face amongst a sea of strangers. He was talking to her father originally, and Mama rather rudely broke in. It would be a slight to the Lucases if he chose another's daughter."
Mr. Robinson came to ask Jane to dance and they went to the line.
Whispers sprung around them. "10,000 a year?" "Yes, half of Derbyshire." "He cuts a fine figure; I can barely look elsewhere." "Related to an Earl" "Old name that, Darcy"
Jane felt terrible for the dark and dour Mr. Darcy. To endure such talk amongst acquaintances was wearing, but of total strangers? It was absolutely exasperating. She glanced down the line to see him dancing with Miss Bingley. Both of them looked bored. They went through the motions of the dance as if forced, which perhaps they were. Societal pressure can be extraordinary. Speaking of, Jane smiled at Mr. Robinson, and asked after his younger brother, who had just left for school.
A foreign laugh rang out down the line. Everyone looked down the line. Of course it was Mr. Bingley; of course he would laugh as unrestrained as Lizzy. Charlotte spoke again, and he laughed again. "What happy manners," Jane thought. "He's sure to be a favorite in the neighborhood."
When the dance concluded, she was escorted back to her mother, who kept her station at Sir Lucas's side. Mr. Bingley and Charlotte also arrived.
"Oh Jane!" Mama cried, "You dance so wonderfully, a vision on the dance floor!" Jane immediately burned with embarrassment, stared at the ground, and thanked her mother. Mr. Bingley laughed as Mr. Darcy and Miss Bingley returned.
"I've never seen so many happy people in one place," Mr. Bingley declared, immediately endearing him to all around. "Come, Miss Bennet, let's have a dance."
Jane extended her hand, marveling at the informality he could get away with. They returned to the dance floor. Jane asked the usual question of his family. He grinned with a twinkle in his eye.
"There you see them, fine and healthy. The roads here are quite fine, and the weather is marvelous. I'm beginning to quite like it here," he declared, "and now that we've discussed all the politely scripted questions, we can come to more informative ones."
Jane felt nervous; he both showed her that she hid behind a shield of politeness and removed it in the same breath. However, she didn't feel panicked, for he smiled and pondered which question he would ask. The gleam in his eye was different from Papa's, even different from Lizzy's. Joy alongside someone, instead of at their expense. She realized how unfamiliar it was.
"I have it; what does the local populace do to entertain themselves in the winter? What do the Bennets do to entertain themselves?"
For such a simple question, Jane was rattled. What did she do during the winter? What did anyone do during the winter? It was like all the information in her head vanished. Even the dark thoughts had abandoned her. She looked at Mr. Bingley and smiled.
"What do you think we do?" she asked. Mr. Bingley didn't expect her to not answer the question. His face contorted into thought.
"Bested by my own question," he chuckled, "it feels like my mind was wiped clean as a slate. I don't remember what I did; I've been in school and town far too long. It is mainly events, clubs, less walking in the park, and more shopping for Christmas. But one time I visited Darcy at his estate, and his younger sister convinced us to go ice skating with her. Once I could stand and move, it was jolly good fun! But it probably took about a quarter of an hour before I could keep one foot from going this way and the other from going that way!"
Jane felt sad for the monotony that town was, but laughed at the picture of Mr. Bingley flailing on the ice. Her eyes went wide; she had forgotten when she had laughed in public. But the image of Mr. Bingley slipping made her smile, though she tried to conceal her laugh.
"I'm sorry, sir," Jane said, choking on another laugh. Then, remembering, she spoke, "The last time I went ice skating, Lizzy and I held a scarf, and she dashed through the snow on the bank, pulling me along the ice. She yanked the scarf, and I shot out so fast. I fell and plowed straight into a snowbank. Of course we did it over and over until we perfected the fall and the slide, but absolutely ruined our skirts. Mama was furious." Mr. Bingley laughed the same laugh she had heard with Charlotte.
"Wonderful!" he exclaimed, "just the sort of nonsense I enjoy. Maybe we can make a competition for who can slide the farthest."
The dance progressed with this unconventional conversation. Mr. Bingley escorted Jane to her mother and went to talk to Mr. Darcy. Jane's attention was quickly captured by Mrs. Hurst. She was much shorter than her siblings, did not seem given to laughter, but seemed observant of the world. Jane spoke with her, giving her ideas about the neighborhood and what to expect from the four and twenty families. The tenants of Netherfeild had been looked after by Jane and Lizzy, so that was their topic of conversation when Miss Bingley glided up to them.
Miss Bingley seemed impressed at Jane's knowledge of the tenants, and as they were still new to the estate, they would love to have her over for tea some time to discuss things further. Jane felt flattered. They were interested in her knowledge, as opposed to herself, but it was still nice to have new, kind people to talk to.
"New people," Jane thought, "I'm talking to strangers, and I don't feel nervous." Her dark thoughts vanished during her dance with Mr. Bingley, and they hadn't reappeared while talking to his sisters. Perhaps it was, in part, due to the spotlight on Mr. Bingley and the whispers around Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Bingley himself was talking amongst all the neighbors. He danced every dance, seemingly unaffected by the bustle of people around him. "Very much like Lizzy," Jane thought with a smile at her dearest sister, who had finished a dance with Mr. Wright. But something looked strange; the gleam of her eye dimmed, and her laughter was less full as she sat down by Charlotte. Jane's brow furrowed before clearing her face.
Mr. Bingley reappeared at that moment, a note of concern in his voice as he asked her to dance again. Jane's initial reaction was to demure, to fear the whispers. But then she thought of Lizzy and Lydia. One whom she wanted to save and the one she needed saving from. Mr. Bingley was excellent thus far, so she grabbed his hand. A tad too bold, she thought.
This dance held questions mainly of her family, a strange revert back to formalities. But from Mr. Bingley, who made everyone so lighthearted, a serious discussion seemed all the more meaningful. Jane showered him with smiles, not knowing how to flirt and too shy to try very hard.
The assembly ended their dance too soon for Mr. Bingley, who lamented to his new friends around him. "I'll just have to host a ball myself," he said, looking Jane in the eye with a smile. Jane squeezed his hand and replied that it was a marvelous idea.
Thus, they all returned home, with Lizzy making fun of the surly man and the rest of the town happy to engage in the joke. Only Jane felt sorry for what she saw as a shy gentleman.