JENNIE
..
..
I thought the coffee shop would be the best place to meet my mom, a dainty place on the corner of a strip that's very public, and I was right.
The sounds here are familiar and soothing. A barista steams milk for a latte, the coffee grinder whirrs, and a woman at the counter laughs.
I sit in a booth in the back corner of the café area, my hands around a mug of hot cocoa. I decide against coffee because I don't think the caffeine will do a thing to help my nervousness. My mom's mug, also filled with hot chocolate, waits across from me.
Nate glances at me from the other end of the shop and raises his eyebrows. He's not the only one guarding me today. There are a few other men here. Lisa's people. They try their best to blend in, but I know the look of them too well. They don't get lost in thought or spend too long looking at the laptops and phones they carry for cover. They're always checking to make sure I'm okay. Lisa may not be here at my wishes, but with how many men she sent to stalk my every move she might as well have been.
I give Nate a thumbs-up, somewhat sarcastically, though my heart races. I don't know how this is going to go. I can already hear her telling me she's been worried sick and how disappointed she is in me for not responding to her and for making her worry.
Wait till she hears the rest.
Just as I'm swallowing down that thought, my mother sweeps in through the door of the coffee shop, pushing sunglasses onto the top of her head and patting at her hair. Her gaze runs the length of the room until she finds me, and the look of relief on her face brings me absolute shame immediately. With a loosely hanging floral sweater that nearly gets caught on a chair, she rushes through the maze of tables with her purse held tight to her side.
She barrels straight past the empty seat with the hot chocolate and leans down over me. "My baby girl," she whispers and her voice cracks. I stand up into the hug, keeping my left hand behind her back. Mom squeezes me tight, then tighter, shaking slightly.
It all adds to the guilt, but still, I hold her back just as tightly.
"Mama. Hi."
"Jennie." Her voice is low and stressed. She pushes me back to get a good look at me, her hands gripping my shoulders, then lets out a breath. "Jennie, where—"
"Here, sit down. I got you some cocoa."
"Cocoa? Thank you, but—" My mom lets me guide her into the seat across from me. She hooks her purse onto the chair and blinks down at the cocoa like she's never heard of it before. I take my seat and slide my hand under the table. Mom's eyes snap back to mine. "Where have you been? Ignoring all my calls and messages. Jennie, you worried me sick, Nini."
"I'm okay," I tell her simply and she leans across from me, silently looking over my expression.
She puts one hand on the table. "Where have you been? I thought I lost you. You don't have children, so you can't understand what that's like." I take a deep breath and try my best to keep my expression calm. I don't want to smile too widely and I don't want to cry just from being here with her finally, because that would worry her more. So I focus on holding myself together.
"This isn't like you. I've been up nights. I can hardly sleep. I worry about you, and I thought—"
"Mom, I have to tell you something."
Her questions stop and her eyes search mine. My mother waves me on, impatient. "Tell me, then. Explain this."
"Do you want to drink some cocoa first?"
She shakes her head, bewildered. "I can't. Tell me what you need to say."
"I've been lying to you."
Her brow furrows. She looks like she doesn't know whether to be angry or relieved or suspicious. "Lying about what?" she asks, her hands finally wrapping around that mug. Her eyes flash with worry and I wish I could skip over this part and just hug her again.
"I went away with someone. A woman." I start and my voice chokes up.
Mama startles backward, her hand going to her chest. Questions flicker through her eyes. She must be choosing between a hundred of them. Guilt weighs me down, pushing me back into the chair, when she asks, "Did she hurt you?"
"No," I whisper and the memories in my head betray the calm I wish to portray. There's a long silence. She clearly doesn't believe me so I distract her. "She made me fall in love with her, though."
My mom sags forward, looking at me with pure skepticism in her eyes. "Mi Nini." A smile falters on her face. She's trying to make light of this, and I don't think she can. "So a woman kept you from me?"
"Mama, I need you to listen to me."
"Nini, I'm worried for you. You lied about where you work. Now you lied about this woman. That bar isn't safe. You have to know what you're getting yourself into and now look. This woman can't be—"
She keeps talking, not even pausing to take a breath. Regrets pile up on one another as tears brim in her eyes.
I regret telling her I was a waitress, but what else was I supposed to say? I had to tell her something to avoid this situation. Except I didn't avoid it in the end. I'm still sitting here in the coffee shop while my mom's cheeks redden and her voice rises a little more with every sentence.
I just need to get this out. I need her to know so we can move on from here. All the rest—the waitressing job, even being out of contact for so long that it kept her up at night—is already done. She won't ever get an explanation if she won't let me say the words. I spent hours wishing I could tell her everything.
That's what love makes people do, I think. It makes them worry and say far too much and forget that a conversation is supposed to be a two-way street.
"Mama!" I slap my hand down on the table. One of the coffee shop waiters stops mid-step on his way to us and turns around. He was probably going to ask us if we wanted to order anything to eat, but that would be a waste of time, because neither of us has taken a single sip of our cocoa and I imagine, like me, there isn't an appetite in sight.
Her eyes drop from my face to the ring on my finger. The diamond glitters in the café light. The wedding band sits snug against the engagement ring. Both pieces in the set have been polished until they shine, and she can't miss them. I silently tell myself off for choosing my left hand to hit the table with, but…now it's done.
"Jennie." She swallows hard. "Is that a—"
I keep my voice low and try to keep my hand from trembling. "She asked me to marry her, and I said yes." Tears come to my eyes. They're hot and stinging, and my mom hasn't had a chance to say a word, but I already know she won't approve of me being with Lisa. I don't know why emotion feels thick and heavy in my chest, like it kills me that she doesn't love her already. I need her to. I need her to love Lisa too. "I love her, Mama, and she loves me."
I swipe a napkin from the holder on the table with my right hand and dab at my eyes. What is wrong with me? My mom might not ever approve. That's something I thought I'd come to terms with.
It's not like I can change this. "I can't change who I love Mama," I murmur to her, attempting to hold myself together but her wide eyes only stare back with uncertainty before landing on the ring again. My mind whirls with all the things I wish I could tell her and I find myself breathing heavier and heavier.
My mom stares at the ring, a frown marring her face. It's only then that I notice the dark circles under her eyes and the way her grays show more than ever. I can't tell what she's thinking at all.
"That…" Her hand inches toward mine, but she doesn't actually touch me. "That ring is expensive, Nini."
I can see the puzzle pieces slipping into place in her mind as the seconds tick by. I dare to whisper, "She could afford it just fine."
Her eyes come back to mine, and now I see her hope and her fear. That's a tough combination. "Who is this woman?"
I steel myself. This is the part that worried me more than anything. Getting married without her knowing about it was one thing. Marrying the woman I chose… "Lisa Manoban."
"No," she whispers, and her hand flutters at her throat. My mom glances around the coffee shop as if she's hoping no one else heard. Like it doesn't have to be true if no one else knows.
"Yes," I tell her and my heart breaks into a million pieces. "I love her and she loves me."
Her eyes finally land on mine, and now we're both teary-eyed. "Not my baby girl." Her voice wavers and it utterly destroys me.
"I knew you wouldn't approve," I swallow thickly, barely able to keep it together. I glance past my mother and see the men watching. They all know. I hate this. I hate all of this.
"Tell me it isn't true, Jennie," my mother says, her accent slightly thicker with her growing emotions.
I sit up straight and wipe at my eyes again. The tears just keep coming no matter what I do, so I don't have a choice but to wipe them away. At least my voice is steady when I speak. "She loves me."
"She's dangerous." My mother whispers dangerous like she's worried she might be overheard by Lisa herself. She doesn't realize that her people are all around us in this café. Even if they weren't, I sleep in her bed every night. I know how dangerous she and her brothers are. I've known for a long time.
"They're all dangerous, Mama. Every ones I've ever loved." My blood runs cold knowing this is exactly what I expected. Knowing I couldn't change this with all the money and power in the world. Some people are always feared, and who would want their daughter to be with a woman like Lisa Manoban? If she knew our entire story, she'd take me away from Lisa in a heartbeat. That's what hurts the most. I know she has good reason to want to keep me from Lisa. I know how bad it can get. And yet, I still love her.
My mom shakes her head, her lips quivering. I don't want her to sob at the table. I don't want her fears to be so overwhelming that she won't see me. She can't think so little of me, can she? She can't think I'd throw my life away on someone I didn't love.
"I love her. Please. Please, Mama." I reach out and take her hand, clasping it tight on top of the table. "Please just give her a chance."
"You have no idea what you're getting into with those people, mi Nini."
"Unfortunately, I do." I lift another napkin to wipe at my eyes. I've gone through three of them already, and the tears are starting to slow, thank God. Because there's more to tell her. I have to be honest with my mother if I'm going to have her in my life. "It wasn't just a proposal. We're married already because of…" Now I'm the one glancing around the coffee shop to be sure we're not overheard. Of course, there's always a chance. "Because of some of those things."
My heart races as she holds my hand tighter and her face crumples with worry.
"I'm okay, and I love her, but this"—I lift my hand so the ring shines in the light— "this couldn't wait."
With my limited confession, she's beside herself, really. As if she's blaming herself for missing all the signs with me. As if there's some solution to the fact that I'm married to Lisa, and she's just not seeing it. She looks like she's running out of time, and that makes my heart clench, because I know that feeling very well.
"She cares for me."
Her hand wraps around mine and I can see her will cave slightly, although I'm not sure to what extent.
"You're married?" she says as if it's a question but it's not.
"Yes," I answer quietly, feeling the tension shift slightly.
My mother blinks away the tears and noticeably calms herself.
"I'm married and I'm happy that I am."
My words bring her gaze to me and she stares me down like she's done before. As if she's testing to see if I'm telling her the truth. "I mean it," I reaffirm, "I love her, Mama."
Mama watches me very carefully when I say these words. I look back at her, my gaze unwavering. I'm telling her the truth, and she needs to know that. "I want you to meet her."
"Well." A nervous laugh. I'm not sure if there's relief now, or if she's simply going along so she doesn't lose me entirely. "Do I have a choice?"
It's another half-joke that breaks my heart.
"Mama, please. When I tell you I love her, I mean it."
For a few seconds, she looks exactly the same. Afraid. Haunted. Guilty. But gradually, her expression softens. When she looks into my eyes, I can tell she's really seeing me.
"You really love her?"
"Yes." I nod, then dab at the corners of my eyes again.
"Then I will meet her."
"You will?" I ask her again to make sure. I'm quick to grab her hand and squeeze, and she squeezes mine back. I know she's still worried. I know, honestly, that she has a right to be worried. But if she's willing to meet Lisa, then there's hope.
"I'm so happy," I tell her even though I know I must look like I'm on the verge of tears again.
"I will meet your wife," she says, more firmly. Then she pats my hand. "Has this cocoa been sitting here long?"
I shrug. "Fifteen minutes, maybe?"
"It's a little cold." She waves at the waiter, who makes his way over with a relieved smile. "We'll get something stiffer. And then you'll tell me everything, won't you?" she asks me, staring me down once again.
I look my mother dead in the eyes, a small smile on my face while I lie to her, "I'll tell you everything."
..
LISA
..
..
There's something we're missing and it's driving me mad. I toss the fucking book on Mino's desk. My older brother eyes me warily. It's fucking late and I should be in bed with Jennie, but I can't fucking sleep.
I've flipped through every page of the notebook and there was someone else working with Jisoo. Someone who knew a female cop and reported to her. I've watched every security video with Jisoo on repeat until my eyes feel as if they're bleeding. Every video with my Jennie.
It doesn't fucking make sense. None of it. It's as if I must be staring at the fucking rat and yet he's hidden.
It would be so easy to simply get rid of the detective. And everyone he's worked with. I have a list…but I'm all too aware at least one name is missing.
"Who the fuck do we have to torture to figure it out?"
"The female cop is gone. N got a hold of her with the issue he's going through," Mino murmurs. He has his intel and I have mine. She would have been the only lead to the name. Even this detective doesn't know how she got her information. Which is partly a blessing. Hearsay isn't enough to grant an arrest warrant.
"The only info he gave me is what I told you last night."
I clear my throat, breathing in deeply. "And I'm guessing he didn't get a name."
"If he did, he didn't tell me."
The domino pieces slip into place in my mind. The judge, the detective who works with the feds, the cops beneath him, and then the rats. There is Jisoo, but then there's someone else. I find myself questioning if it was Jisoo who set Jennie up or one of my men.
"You're overthinking this," Mino murmurs. "We get rid of the cops and the rat is left with no one to squeal to," he tells me, his dark eyes piercing into mine. "We'll find out who it is eventually. They always tell on themselves."
He doesn't get it. I don't have the patience for this. I don't have the mercy or grace. I can barely focus on anything else.
"There's got to be something we're missing," I tell him. "Someone framed Jennie."
"Well if it wasn't Jisoo…then…then someone else told the cops the export numbers. The, what was it, 886 thousand, which is damn well high enough for federal prosecution of embezzlement."
Sehun corrects him, "It was under 850…like 849 k. That's how much was on her sheet."
A chill goes down my spine. "That's not right. Hold on, that's not right."
Sehun's brow furrows, "What's not right? Those are the numbers reported."
"It shouldn't be, it's not what was on her sheet."
"Sehun, where did you get those figures from?" I question him although I can barely hear my own voice, the ringing in my head is so loud.
"It doesn't matter, does it? It was made up."
"No, it does. On the video."
"Go back. Go back to when we first met about Jennie. About her sneaking around in the office."
"What date was it?" he questions and I rattle it off. I know all these details by fucking heart now.
"You said those numbers. Those figures. They're not what I put down though." Every piece of footage, every person, every possibility races through my mind.
My brothers and I are the ones who discussed what I would put on those sheets for her. But the figures said out loud weren't exactly the figures I put in the sheet. It was random. It wasn't supposed to be a real test. I trusted her, and it was only to ease their concerns.
My entire body turns to ice. "No one but us," I start and then realize someone could have been in the security room. Mino doesn't object as I click through files upon files of security footage, until I find the folder with the date we met.
"It was Nate who said 886 thousand was reported," Sehun says and my head whirls as I swallow thickly. Hitting play on the hall video just outside the security room in the bar. My brothers and I would be in the back room of the bar. Discussing my new obsession with Jennie and my plan to ensure she wasn't a rat. And there he is…in front of all of our eyes.
"So, you said Nate told you?" Mino questions Sehun.
Nate unlocks the security room and I speed up the tape. He doesn't leave for two hours.
"Why the fuck would Nate tell you any other figure than what was reported? And how the hell would he get the same number we discussed?"
Nate would have heard our conversation. He would have heard my plans. He would have known what was going to happen and that she could so very easily be set up.
My vision turns red as my brothers discuss the reality. And all I can envision is wrapping my hands around that rat bastard's neck.
He listened to the conversation. He set her up. But the figures he remembered weren't the ones that were reported. He could have seen the spreadsheet before it was given to her, he could have watched me set it up from that office, and he could have written them down.
What he remembered was what we said though…he really did fucking tell on himself.
I stare at the computer as he exits the security room, a goddamn notepad in his hand. My blood races through my veins and adrenaline screams through me. Fucking Nate?
How could he do this? It makes no fucking sense at all.
Mino interrupts my thoughts as rage builds upon rage as the betrayal sets in. Nate? My right-hand man? Why? He fucking drove her home the other day. He was alone with her. My vision turns red.
"Nate was working with the female cop. Was he working with anyone else? If he wasn't, there's a good chance he will be shortly now that she's gone."
..
..
..