"Are you okay?" Avaritia asked Shakara, "Yeah... It's just that this is the happiest I've ever felt!" Shakara replied with a bright smile on her face, "Well, if you're done being emotional, we should probably move on in the viewing." Hatsu said as she pressed start.
[DISCLAIMER]
VEGETA: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
"Wow... I mean, it was to be expected, but this soon?" Nightmare King said with a raised eyebrow.
(cut to Zarbon's corpse falling into a lake, Vegeta killing him in cold blood)
"Absolute revenge, am I right?" Fardie said with a smile, "Lake for lake, as they say." Tauira smiled, "That's... Not how it goes..." Paint responded.
KRILLIN: Wow. You really took care of that guy.
"He doesn't think that puts them on the same side I hope." Shion muttered, "Come on, I doubt he's that stupid." Oracle replied, secretly also hoping that.
VEGETA: Yeah, didn't even know I could pull that off. (Jo'on: But he did./ Takama: Says a lot about how he's ego will be affected.) But... you know us Saiyans, we get stronger every time we almost die.
KRILLIN: Well... that seems... incredibly unfair. (Anomaly: It is, at least Shujians need to risk it more to activate their biological fail safes./ Virus: Yeah, but they also regenerate completely when it happens.) So, um... you seem like a busy man, so...
VEGETA: Oh yeah, killing people, and I'm about to become immortal.
KRILLIN: Well, we don't wanna keep ya, so I guess we'll be seeing ya!
"Yeah! he doesn't really have any balls to collect after all!" Shanti said with a smile, "Except his own wen they get beaten out of him." Lemus added.
VEGETA: Yep! And I still got a lot to take care of and I... Ohohohoho! Ohhh, wait a minute, nice try. (Liria: Worth a shot./ Shakara: It failed, but true.) Gimme the Dragon Ball.
KRILLIN: Aww... (gives Vegeta the Dragon Ball)
"At least he knows his place in the ecosystem." Shiva Samba commented with a sly smile, "I'd put him above most beserkers honestly." Starrow admitted.
VEGETA: Ya know, I could kill both of you right now, but after killing Zarbon and getting this last Dragon Ball, I'm in a good mood; (Nightmare King: So they're... Safe?/ Thinner: For now at least./ Hatsu: It's not that long actually.) I mean a REALLY good mood. But just remember this: next time you see me, I will be immortal... Not that you stood a chance to begin with. I'm just... Saiyan. (Starrow: That sucked!/ Paaint: At least you realize it dad...) (canned laughter plays in the background) Wakka wakka! (flies off)
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cuts to Krillin and Bulma after Vegeta has taken off with the DragonBall)
BULMA: Well, congratulations. You've single-handedly doomed us all.
When Bulma said that everyone quickly frowned, "What did she do to help?" Zettai asked, "Nothing." Shakara replied, "EXACTLY!" Zettai yelled to make the point stick more.
KRILLIN: I didn't see you do anything.
"That's what I'm saying!" Zettai said, happy that it was aknowledged on screen.
BULMA: What exactly did you expect me to do?
KRILLIN: Well I dunno, maybe you could've bitched at him, how 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your bitch-fu on him? (Pandora: He's definetly getting slapped, but it must be worth it.) "Bulma, the Mistress of Bitching", that's what they should call you...
(cuts to Vegeta and Gohan, each of them holding a DragonBall, flying in the sky)
VEGETA & GOHAN: (both of them singing in their thoughts in the tune of "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen)
Don't stop me now, having such a good time
"I don't really like this song..." Oracle commented, "Yeah, not a fan either." Miriada agreed.
I'm holdin' this ball
Don't stop me now...
(both Vegeta and Gohan senses each other and stops singing)
VEGETA & GOHAN: What the...?!
"Wait... Oh fuck..." Shakara cursed as she remembered something, "What's wrong?" Lemus asked, "Bulma said Gohan went to get a lone Dragon Ball last episode, right?" Shakara reminded, "Yes...?" Oracle replied, looking at her notes, "And as far as we know Vegeta had one Dragon Ball soon after Namek started." Shakara continued, "Where are you going with this?" Tauira asked her husband, "It's the same one Vegeta threw in the lake isn't it?" Shiva Samba asked, having remembered that scene, "Well shit." Zettai let out at that.
GOHAN: That's Vegeta... (in his thoughts) Uh, I know! (flies down and hides behind a cliff) If I just hide here and lower my power level, he shouldn't find me!
"That's a good idea really..." Lemus complimented.
VEGETA: Okay, what the hell is going on? I know I just sensed something down there.
GOHAN: (thinking) Good! Now just go on and...
VEGETA: Hey! Show yourself before I turn this place into a barren wasteland! (Lemus: That's also a good idea./ Tauira: Not for Gohan it isn't.) So basically the same, only on fire.
GOHAN: (thinking) Crapbaskets!
VEGETA: (begins charging a ki blast) Three... Two... One...
(prepares to blast the area before...)
GOHAN: (pops his head up) Hi! Um... hello... Mr. Vegeta... sir.
"Definetly the better choice." Oracle commented, "Considering the only other is 'get blown up', the bar only goes up from there." Nightmare King pointed out.
VEGETA: Oh, well if it isn't Moe Howard.
GOHAN: How do you even...
VEGETA: Space Hulu.
"We still don't know who that is!" Shakara brought up, "I can't find any information on that name." Oracle responded, "Any luck Virus?" She asked her son, "I found something called gap moe, but I doubt that's it." Virus replied,
GOHAN: Figures.
VEGETA: So what are you doing here?
GOHAN: Oh, you know, just... flying around.
"Think it'll work?" Pandora asked, "It worked with you." Shakara replied, "Fuck off." Pandora responded.
VEGETA: Flying around?
GOHAN: Flying around.
VEGETA: Thwarting my plans?
GOHAN: Thwarting your plans?
VEGETA: Are you?
GOHAN: No.
VEGETA: Good, 'cause that'd be bad.
GOHAN: How bad?
VEGETA: I'd have to kill you.
GOHAN: That's bad.
VEGETA: Indeed. (notices Gohan holding the Dragon Radar) Stupid-looking watch you got there.
"He's so fucking lucky!" Nezumi cheered, "Vegeta not knowing what the radar is is probably the best thing that could have happened to Gohan." Anomaly commented.
GOHAN: (hiding the Dragon Radar) Yes... it tells time... and nothing else.
VEGETA: Well, yeah, that's what a watch DOES. (rolls his eyes) ...Dumbass.
"Oh when he realizes!" Shiva Samba stated before laughing at the image she thought.
GOHAN: (thinking) Jackass.
GOHAN: So, uh, can I... help you?
VEGETA: (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... but maybe I can help you.
The younger ones loked at the face Vegeta was making and grimaced, "I hate this..." Jo'on lamented.
GOHAN: Uh... I need an adult...
VEGETA: I am an adult. (knees Gohan in the stomach)
GOHAN: UNNGH! (falls over and holds his stomach in pain)
"Okay... That's the best outcome." Jo'on said, slightly grateful.
VEGETA: By the way, I only hit you because I have pent-up aggression against your father. (Avaritia: ...Not even Shade is that petty.../ Shiva Samba: Not even Soae now that I think about it.) Take that. (flies away)
GOHAN: (thinking) Don't... stop me now... I don't... wanna... stop at... allllll... (stumbles and falls off cliff)
(cuts back to Krillin continuing his rant on Bulma)
KRILLIN: ...Seriously, five ancient sages of Bitchdom all gathered together one day on the peaks of Mount Bitch to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the bitch stars had aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH! Uhh...
"He kept going till now!?" Dreamiv exclaimed in surprise, "The lungs he's got!" Thinner complimented.
BULMA: Ya done?
KRILLIN: Yeah... yeah, I guess.
BULMA: Good. (hits Krillin off-screen)
KRILLIN: (off-screen) Ow!
"That was to be expected." Puria commented.
(Gohan arrives with the Dragon Ball)
GOHAN: Guys!
KRILLIN: Gohan!
GOHAN: You guys, I think we should find a new location.
KRILLIN: Why? What's wrong with this place?
GOHAN: Because we have 10 minutes before Vegeta finds out that I just stole this.
"SO HE KNEW IT WAS HIS!?" Shanti exclaimed in shock, "And he took it anyway! Very brave!" Jo'on commended.
KRILLIN: (high-pitched) Uh-...! Uh...! Aah...! (Gohan smiles sweetly as Krillin is exclaiming)
(cuts to Vegeta jumping inside a lake to retrieve the last Dragon Ball he had taken from a Namekian village)
VEGETA: (thinking)God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! (Liria: The bitch would be him actually./ Pandora: Accurate./ Shakara: At least on that we can agree.) Now, it should be right here... riiight here. (searches around for the missing Dragon Ball) Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere. Alright, I'm going to close my eyes, (closes eyes) and when I open them up, it's going to be right here... (opens his eyes) it's not here. (Nightmare King: Dont you just hate it when your plans go to shit cause you're overconfident?) Why isn't it here!? I don't get it! Who could have-! (remembers that Gohan was near the place where he hid the Dragon Ball) The kid! (Paint: And he's piecing it together./ Tauira: That's not a good thing./ Paint: Never said it was.) But... how could he have found it!? He would... Wait! (remembers Gohan holding the Dragon Radar) That watch... That watch was no watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator. (starts clenching his fist) Which means... Which means...
(Ghost Nappa appears with a ping)
GHOST NAPPA: (deadpan) He tooook the Dragon Ball.
"If he didn't lose it before, he lost it now." Zettai commented.
(cuts an outside shot of the lake with Vegeta bursting out of the water, blasting off into the distance after Gohan)
VEGETA: (eyes are seen bloodshot) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...!
"I think Nezumi got that mad one." Anomaly remembered, "Guilty as charged." Nezumi confirmed.
(cuts to Gohan and Krillin flying in the sky)
GOHAN: (hears Vegeta's scream) Uh, Krillin. do you hear that?
"Physically that's not possible." Oracle informed everyone else, "Are you sure? Cause Vegeta can definetly make it possible." Tauira told her.
KRILLIN: I feel that.
(cuts to Frieza's ship)
FRIEZA: (hears Vegeta's scream) What the devil is that noise?
"Isn't that the other side of the planet?" Puria asked, "I stopped asking questions at the Sayian saga, do the same." Starrow instructed.
(cuts to Goku, in his ship, still flying through space to Namek)
GOKU: (going through a fridge) Ahh, time for a delicious sports dri- (takes out a sports drink and hears Vegeta's scream) Huh? What the heck is that?
"I was willing to believe it when still on planet, but this-" Tauira was about to say, but was interrupted by the same scream, "...Let's just ignore that." Said, to which everyone else responded "Agreed."
(cuts to Earth's Check-In Station in the afterlife)
KING YEMMA: (flipping through a book) Purgatory... Hell... (hears Vegeta's scream)(Shakara: Alright! I'm 99% sure that's bullshit!) Denise? Denise, do you hear that? Oh, God, is that my wife? LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ALREADY TOOK THE KIDS; WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!
Nezumi and Anomaly looked at their parents in worry, "...What?" Tauira asked, "They're worried you two..." Paint said to hint, "Oh... OH! No no no! We wouldn't do that!" Shakara reassured, "You better not..." Jo'on fake threatened.
(cuts to the 20 years later in a ruined future in an alternate timeline)
"...Deja vu..." Dreamiv commented.
TRUNKS: Alright, mom. Once that time machine is done, I can go back into the past, to save Goku, and my father- (hears Vegeta's scream) Daddy?
"Waitwaitwaitwait!" Shion quickly said in succession, "Bulma's and VEGETA'S son!?" She questioned in surprise, "Also save Goku from what!?" Thinner questioned too.
(cuts to Krillin, Gohan, and Bulma finding a new hiding place from Vegeta)
KRILLIN: Alright, I don't think Vegeta will find us here. Gohan, I need to get you to Guru's.
GOHAN: What? Why?
KRILLIN-Shiva Samba: So the old man can touch you and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.
"I just realized how bad that sounded..." Shiva Samba noted in realization, "It's accurate unfortunately..." Shanti commented.
GOHAN: ...I need an adult?
KRILLIN: I am an adult.
BULMA: Oh, no! No, no, NO! I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!
"But she's a bitch too though..." Liria pointed out, "Not on lifetime apparently." Fardie replied.
KRILLIN: Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return... we're letting you watch the Dragon Ball. Bye! (flies away with Gohan)
BULMA: I WILL KILL YOU BOTH IN YOUR SLEEP!
"Honestly? Deserved." Paint commented, "For who?" Puria asked, "Both." Paint replied.
(cuts to Frieza's ship)
FRIEZA: (thinking) As soon as the Ginyu Force arrives, all of my problems will officially be over. Soon, immortality will be mine and the entire universe will be under my foot. I wonder what I should do first? I guess I should start with what I WON'T do when I become immortal: Die!
"What a prick." Jo'on said outloud, "The biggest prick!" Shiva Samba exclaimed.
ACAI: Lord Frieza, the Ginyu Force is scheduled to arrive in five minutes.
"Oh they'll arrive by the end!" Nightmare King milerd, "I'm not sure we should be happy about that." Oracle contemplated.
FREEZA: Thank you, Acai.
ACAI: Also, after rising concerns with our personnel... exploding, we decided to form a union!
FRIEZA: ...Adorable. (fires an eye blast at Acai)
Everyone looked speechless at that, "About what I expected..." Hatsu commented.
ACAI: RRRAAGGGH!
FRIEZA: (thinking) Oh! First thing I'm going to do is go up to Cooler and slap him right in his smug, prick face!
(cuts to Krillin and Gohan flying in the air)
GOHAN: (notices Guru's house from a distance) Hey, Krillin!
KRILLIN: That's it! We're going to make it. We're finally gonna- (hears Vegeta scream and stops flying) ...die. We are going to die.
"No, no they're not, I don't remember taking any souls at that time." Shakara commented, "Really? Then why did I feel something die at that moment?" Pandora questioned.
GOHAN: Krillin, what is that?
KRILLIN: Pure rage, Gohan. Pure rage.
GOHAN: What do we do?
KRILLIN: Run, Gohan. Run as fast as you can!
GOHAN: But I-
KRILLIN: DO AS I SAY, FOR I AM THE HEAVENLY BUDDHA!
"Oh Buddha... What a party animal..." Shiva Samba said, remembering fondly.
GOHAN: ...What-?
KRILLIN: Just go!
(Gohan flies away to Guru's house)
(cuts to Guru's house)
NAIL: Guru, sir, we have another traveler from Earth.
GURU: Oh, tell me you didn't let him inside.
"I get the feeling he just hates people in general." Nightmare King commented, "That's kind of fair honestly isn't it? I'm pretty sure he was sleeping at the first meeting." Dreamiv considered.
GOHAN: Hello, Mr. Guru.
GURU: Oh, goddammit!
GOHAN: Mr. Guru, sir, my friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.
A lot groaned at that, "I still hate that wording..." Jo'on admitted.
GURU: Do I look Catholic to you?
NAIL: Sir, I think he means he wants you to release his hidden potential.
GOHAN: Yeah, that.
GURU: Fine, stand still. (places his hand on Gohan's head) It's your first time, so I'll be gentle. (Hatsu: This is definetly a sexual inuendo! There's no doubt here!) Now relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
"And it's getting worse!" Avaritia exclaimed, agreeing with Hatsu.
GOHAN: I... need an adult?
GURU: I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (unlocks Gohan's hidden potential)
(cuts back to Krillin)
KRILLIN: (thinking) Huh, that's odd. I don't feel anything anymore. Wonder if we lost him?
(Vegeta dashes past Krillin and stops in midair. His eyes are bloodshot as he has gone crazy from his blind rage.)
"For the love of all that is holy." Thinner let out in shock, "That's... Just not healthy..." Oracle said seeing how bloodshot vegeta's eyes are.
VEGETA: (delirious) I am here for it...
KRILLIN: (scared) For what?
VEGETA: Dragon... Ball. I... need... that Dragon Ball. (Nezumi: Have I ever gotten so angry I couldn't talk well?/ Zettai: Thankfully for us, no.) Give it to me. The one you took. I need my wish...
KRILLIN: Are... you OK?
GHOST NAPPA: I think your rage broke, Vegeta.
VEGETA: SHUT UP, GHOST OF NAPPA!
"Not okay, got it." Shion said, gathering only that.
KRILLIN: What was that?
VEGETA: I'M NOT CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! ESPECIALLY YOU, NAPPA!
"...I'm starting to get scared." Paint admitted.
GHOST NAPPA: (slightly insulted) Eeeeey.
KRILLIN: Who are you talking to?
VEGETA: Dragon Ball! Hand now, please.
KRILLIN: Um, I don't... really... have it.
(a blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red)
"I'll be goi-" Starrow was saying, but Avaritia and Takama stopped her, "If we got to see this you have to too!" Takama insisted.
VEGETA: No...
KRILLIN: What?
VEGETA: (right eye starts dripping blood) Noo...
Everyone except Shiva Samba cringed back.
KRILLIN: Uh...
VEGETA: (slowly starts approaching Krillin; both eyes now bloodshot red) Noooo...
KRILLIN: (whimpers in fear)
(Vegeta continues approaching Krillin, then suddenly feels Guru powering up Gohan and snaps out of it)
VEGETA: Huh, wait, what? Where am I? (to Krillin) Why are you here? Where's Nappa?
"Getting kicked in the ego snapped him out of it, good to know." Virus said as he took notes.
KRILLIN: Didn't you kill him?
VEGETA: Yes. Of course I did. He's dead... forever.
KRILLIN: So, uh...
VEGETA: Where's that immense power coming from?
KRILLIN: (quickly) Oh, that's probably Gohan over in the hut with the creator of the Dragon Balls is. You know, the guy who can unlock your potential by putting his hand on top of your head- (Fardie: What the fuck Krillin?/ Tauira: I'm not even surprised at this point.) Oh, God, I cannot shut up when I am scared...
VEGETA: Interesting. I'm gonna pay him a... What do you call it?
KRILLIN: A visit?
VEGETA: Beating! That's it. I'm gonna go pay him a beating.
"Saiyan etiquette everyone." Dreamiv said with a small smirk, making some of the others to imagine that happening in a meeting between Saiyans.
KRILLIN: Aww! Crapbaskets.
(Vegeta flies off and lands in front of Guru's house)
NAIL: Hello? Can I... help you with something?
VEGETA: Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.
"Oh man! Not even taking him seriously!" Lemus said in a critizing manner, "First step to getting punched in the face." Puria agreed.
NAIL: Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'Cause I really hope it is.
Hearing that made Liria chuckle, "Oh a roast battle! I love those!" She exclaimed in happiness.
VEGETA: (laughs) Trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.
NAIL: Then come on, bring on all four feet of you. Or should I count your stupid hair?
VEGETA: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.
"Bipedal- How is Nail coming back from that!?" Miriada laughed.
NAIL: Big talk coming from a bipedal bitch
"Oh fuck yeah!" Liria exclaimed jumping up fom her seat, landing back perfectly seated.
VEGETA: (laughs) Oh, I gotta admit, you are the best challenge I've gotten out of your people yet... Then again, I have to compare you to are those villagers I slaughtered.
"That's one way to get you beat up though." Shion commented, "You sound like you speak from experience." Shanti noted, "Not me, but Jo'on." Shion corrected, getting her younger sister to pout.
NAIL: Oh, you are DEAD!
GURU: Naaaaaail! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like, (makes gagging and slurping noises)
NAIL: (sarcastically) Thank you, Lord Guru!
VEGETA: I'm not here for any of you idiots anyway. I'm here for the old man.
GOHAN: (walks out of Guru's house) Oh no, you don't! (Takama: Let's see what you guys are talking about.) With this power-up, I'm now as strong as you were when we fought on Earth.
"...That's so weak compared to everyone else on Namek." Lemus said with eyes wide open, "To be fair he's five here." Shakara defended.
VEGETA: Congratulations! You're still weaker than the last three guys I killed.
GOHAN: Wow... I now know what it's like to feel like Krillin.
KRILLIN: (off-screen) Sucks, doesn't it?
VEGETA: Look, it doesn't matter how strong you get, kid. Besides Frieza, I'm the strongest thing on this planet! Bar none.
GURU: Hey! Just thought I would inform you all. I detect several high power levels coming towards the planet.
"And here's who breaks the bar." Starrow said with firm nod.
VEGETA: What? Several high power levels?
GURU: There are five of them in total.
VEGETA: Five of them!?
"Must be the Ginyu force." Tauira suggested, "Definetly." Paint agreed, "About time he got the humbling he deserved." Pandora commented.
GURU: And they're all incredibly flamboyant!
VEGETA: Oh, God, it's them!
KRILLIN: What are you talking about?
("Sanjou! Ginyu Tokusentai!" starts playing in the background)
VEGETA: We're doomed... Don't you understand? We're all going to die here!
"OHHH! It was his hopes and dreams that died!" Shakara realized, making Pandora's jaw drop in equal realization.
KRILLIN: Who? Who is it?
VEGETA: It's... the Ginyu Force...
(The Ginyu Force's space pods are seen arriving on Planet Namek, producing a huge explosion making the screen red)
GINYU FORCE: We're heeeeere...
JEICE: ...mates.
"...Why is he Australian...?" Shiva sSamba asked no one in particular, "What is Australian?" Anomaly questioned, "Don't worry about it." Shiva Samba answered.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
(cuts to Goku wearing boxer shorts with a towel around his neck opening a refrigerator)
GOKU: Whew! Alrighty! Time for a post-workout drink. (takes out a beer) Nah, it's too early to get crunk. (Oracle: *Lifts her hand.* Crunk!?) (puts beer back and holds up a Powerthirst energy drink) Nah, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore. (puts sports drink back and takes out a bottle of peanuts) I can't drink these! These are nuts! (puts peanuts back and holds up a Team Four Star Soda) Oooh, what's this? It looks delicious! And it's high in calcium!
GOKU & SINGERS: Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Team Four Star soda!
"Yeah! Sure! Why not! Product placement! Next episode!" Hatsu quickly said angrily, putting on the next episode.