Randy was so excited when Jill and Tim sat down and explained to him that he would be going to preschool with Brad. Jill took him out shopping and they chose a little backpack for him to carry his things in and before they knew it the morning had arrived. Brad was a little less than enthusiastic to have his little brother tagging along but he'd agreed to keep an eye out for him.

As they rode in the car, all five of them, Randy's excited chatter grew quieter and quieter and when they pulled up outside the preschool Randy sat in the back of the car and refused to get out.

"Come on Randy" said Tim encouragingly, "You've been so excited! Brad's going to look after you! You'll do lots of fun things and then before you know it, it will be home time!"

"I don't want to go! I changed my mind!" Protested Randy.

"Come on" said Brad impatiently.

Jill and Tim exchanged looks. Tim knew what Jill was thinking "Maybe he's not ready" Jill said quietly to Tim.

"He's as ready as he'll ever be!" said Tim decisively and with that he pulled Randy from the car. The boy squealed in protest "No!"

Nonetheless Tim picked him up and carried him in. The rest of the family trotting behind.

Inside they were greeted by the kind manager, Mrs Watson.

"Why, hello Randy!" she said warmly. Randy buried his face in Tim's shirt.

She turned to Jill "Mrs Taylor, how are you this morning?"

"Good, good thank you. I've just got a few bits and pieces for Randy… this is his bag, there's some spare clothes in there, a snack if he gets hungry, some wipes, some tissues, some water" she listed off the items on her fingers "His inhaler is in there… if he gets wheezy, sometimes he does sound a bit whistley… but not usually when he's well… which he is… but you know what kids are like" she laughed nervously "Please call me, I'll be at home, I can come straight away and pick him up"

"Mrs Taylor" Mrs Watson laid her hand on Jill's arm. She'd seen this all before "Randy is going to be just fine" She smiled reassuringly, Jill tried to smile back. She really wanted to believe her but as Mrs Watson prized Randy off Tim he started to yell and cry "Mommy!" and then tried to run after her as she left the room. She felt like her heart was going to break in half. As she got in the car she turned back to see Randy's little tear-stained face staring back out of the window at her and thought she'd just made the worst mistake of her life.

Jill padded round the living room. What was that glorious sound called again? Oh yes, it was silence!

Tim had gone off to work and Mark was down for a nap and now here she was, home alone, or virtually alone. She knew she had maybe only fifteen minutes tops before the baby was awake again but that was the first 15 minutes of peace she'd had in practically 3 years… coincidentally ever since Randy had been born she thought. She thought of his sad little face at the preschool window and felt immediately intense guilt. She looked at her watch. He'd been at preschool for 2 hours now. What would he be doing? She thought to herself. She pictured him all alone, crying in the corner, missing her and she had to stop herself from running to the phone to call and check on him (again). She heard a voice in her head which sounded suspiciously like Tim's saying "Leave him alone! He'll be fine!" Ok, ok, she thought and she sat down heavily on the couch. She could do anything she wanted! She could even have a little nap. She could just read that magazine she thought as she stretched out and began to read, "this feels nice" she thought to herself as her eyelids began to close and she drifted off to sleep.

Jill pulled into the preschool parking lot. Her heart was in her mouth. What was she about to find? What state would her middle son be in? Was he ever going to forgive her for abandoning him?

As she locked her car door, she realised her hands were actually shaking with nerves. She bundled Mark into his pram and quickened her pace.

When she walked into the door of the brightly coloured preschool room she couldn't see either Randy and Brad anywhere. She scanned the group of small faces everywhere, she spotted Brad and gave him a big 'hello' wave. Brad smiled back awkwardly and gave a small wave back. There was a chattering noise from the bathroom behind her, three small boys were washing their hands and giggling and whispering jovially with each other, it sounded distinctly like they might be plotting something… if she didn't know better the one with his back to her … was that Randy? The child turned around to see her a huge smile on his face. Her heart instantly began to slow in pace and she found she was grinning like an insane person. Randy's eyes registered his mother and he immediately ran to her "Mommy!" he squealed, throwing his arms around her. With a satisfied smile, he put his thumb in his mouth and rested his head against her leg. Jill ruffled the top of his har "Have you had a good time Sweetie?" she asked him. Randy looked up at her, smiled and removed his thumb "The best! Can I show you the picture I painted?" and he grabbed her hand and started to enthusiastically drag her across the room.

Later that evening Jill was sitting with Tim on the couch nursing Mark.

"So, admit I was right then?" said Tim with a wink

"Right about what?" Jill giggled back

"We did the right thing sending Randy to preschool?"

"Oh, I don't know Tim… when I left him this morning, he was so upset, I felt like the worst mother in the world!"

"But then…." Tim smiled

"Then… yes, then he had a great day"

"I think he already seems much happier" Tim said

"Yup" said Jill

Jill turned around and shouted "Hey Boys! Come on! Time for bed, go and get your pyjamas on"

Randy who had been sitting playing with Brad in the den, got up and looked at her,

"Alright, alright Mom!" he said with a sarcastic tone that Tim and Jill hadn't heard before.

They looked at each other in wide-eyed surprise, Tim mouthed "Mom?" back at Jill and then once the boys had gone upstairs, he said, "What? He's been one day at preschool and you're 'Mom' aready?"

"I guess so!" Said Jill a little reluctantly and then added "My baby is growing up!"

"Time for another one?" Tim said with a wink and leant around to kiss her.

Jill laughed "No Tim! Never ever again!"