SMUT ALERT! SMUT ALERT!

Chapter Eleven

She gives his door a couple of quiet knocks.

"Sora?" she says through it. "Are you dressed?"

"Yeah." His voice is hoarse. He sounds tired, which she's sure he is.

"Can I come in? I brought you some food."

"Sure."

Kairi opens the door and steps into the room, closing it behind her. The light is off, but the shutter on the window is open. The starlight is bright enough that everything is visible, from the furniture to the expression on his face. The knowledge that she's in a dark room, alone with him when they have some confusing things that have occurred between them makes her knees a bit weak.

Sora pushes himself into an upright position, resting his back against the headboard. He's wearing a white V-neck and pajama pants, from what she can tell, and his crown pendant necklace is piled on his bedside table. His hair is still damp, the spikes falling in an unruly mess about his head, sporadic ones sticking every which way.

"Nice," he says as she walks over to the bed and hands him the plate. "I'm starving."

"I'll bet." Kairi crosses her arms over her chest. "Is it good?"

His mouth is full of the first bite, so all he can do is nod with enthusiasm,

"I made it," she says, feeling a burst of pride.

Sora swallows his bite. "Yeah, it's really good. I forgot what a good cook you are."

"I haven't had the energy to go all-out in a long time," she says. "I was bored today, though. Tried to read, but the book was boring, too."

Kairi doesn't tell him that she wasn't bored and that she did like the book. Doesn't tell him that the real issue is that she's barely holding herself together. That she's carved out and hollow on the inside, and dirty and ruined on the outside.

"I heard you guys talking."

Fear chills Kairi's blood to ice. Did he hear them discussing his Anti Form? If he did, he might snap. His temper might break in two. What if he hurts her again? She can still feel the pain of her head cracking against stone. The burning tearing of Anti-Sora's claws on her skin.

"Oh?" she says, walking over to his dresser and leaning against the front of it. She pulls all of her hair forward, draping it over the front of her right shoulder.

"Yes." Sora studies her for a moment, taking a bite of his food and chewing it slowly. "Not everything. Just snippets when you guys were practically yelling. "

Heat rushes to Kairi's cheeks.

She doesn't know which is worse: the Anti Form conversation…or Lea's suggestive teasing.

"And I'm sure you've just been chomping at the bit to tease me, too," she says with a haughty scoff. "You men and your bullying."

"He wasn't bullying you, Kairi," he says, mouth full. "And I'm not gonna bully you, either."

Kairi doesn't say anything, thinking of the Crystal Fissure. She stands in silence, switching between watching him eat and looking at the twinkling stars outside the window as the gummi ship hurtles through space.

When he's done eating, he sets his fork on the empty plate and puts it on his table.

"I wanna talk to you," he says. "Can you stay?"

"I've got nothing better to do, I suppose."

He bites his lower lip, scrutinizing her again. His gaze travels down her body—she's wearing a simple A-line dress today, with opaque black tights and no shoes. The dress is black, too, and it has short puff sleeves with a sweetheart neckline.

The longer he looks at her, the hotter her blood burns, and the more overwhelming her blush.

"What—" Kairi says, clearing her throat. "What did you want to talk about?"

"You know I'd never hurt you on purpose, right?"

Kairi averts her eyes. "But you did."

"I know."

"You pushed me, and it really hurt," she mumbles.

"I know." He scratches the back of his head. "And I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just—my head started to ache. It was bad. Like someone was stabbing my skull and cutting me open. And I—"

"Saw red?"

"Yeah." He curls his hand around the back of his neck, massaging it as he tilts his head against the headboard behind him. "I saw red."

Kairi has an idea why, but she's definitely not gonna say anything about it.

"You looked so scared of me," he says, staring down at the blanket that's covering his legs. "And I was so confused. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to fix it."

"I was scared."

"But it…it was when I hurt you, when my hand was on your…" His brow furrows in puzzlement. "There was this other look in your eyes. It was different. More than just scared. It was panic."

Kairi glances at his dresser. His wallet is there, along with several random coins around it. Placing one fingertip on one of the coins, she slides it around on the wood, making intricate, swirling patterns with its path.

"Kairi."

"What?" she asks without looking at him.

"Is that what they did to you?"

Kairi freezes. Sora's eyes are piercing through her. Can he see the chest with its broken lock? Can he see what she's hiding?

"Is that what they did? Did they put their hands on you like that?"

There's no point lying about it, but she stays wordless in her stubbornness. There will be no confirmation or denial from her. If he wants to discover her shame and think of her as dirty without her saying so, then he can go ahead and do it.

"Kairi. Please talk to me."

She nearly leaps out of her skin.

Sora's out of bed, and he's standing right in front of her. The apple and freesia scent of the body wash that's in the shower surrounds her. In his eyes, there's a desperation there that she doesn't like. It's like he needs to know. He needs to know what they did the same way he needs air to breathe.

Too bad.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," she whispers.

"I know, but I want you to."

"No."

"Kairi. I swear to God, if you don't—"

"No, Sora."

"You don't understand. What I saw in your eyes, I-I just…I need to know. You have to tell me I didn't do to you what they did."

She snaps.

"Stop asking me about it, Sora!" Kairi cries. "Stop prying! It's not about you! I'm never going to tell you, or anyone else what happened there, and if you don't fucking stop asking me, I'm going to lose my damn mind!"

In the wake of her tirade, she's shocked. That's the third time she's used that word, and she doesn't even regret it. He's staring at her like she's just exploded. Which, she supposes she has.

"It's not about you," she repeats, her chest heaving as she struggles to maintain a normal breathing pace. She looks away from him. "The multiverse doesn't revolve around the Keyblade Master and his whims. I don't care what you saw in my eyes, and I don't care if it made you feel guilty. You should feel guilty. You pushed me and you made me bleed. You turned into a borderline Heartless, and you clawed me like you were trying to rip me to shreds. So, no. I'm not gonna tell you anything. It's not your business, and it's not your right to know."

His face falls. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are."

"Listen to me, Kairi." Sora takes her chin in his hand and pulls her to look up at him again. His fingers are soft against her skin. "I'm sorry. I care about you so much and I hurt you, and it's fucking killing me. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want this—this thing that's taking over me. I don't want this darkness."

"I understand that," Kairi says, "but that doesn't mean you have a right to my pain just because you want to assuage your guilt."

"That's the problem," he says, his voice sincere and full of distress. His hand leaves her chin so it can move to her shoulder. "You're in pain. I hurt you. Those people hurt you. Everyone's hurting you, and I can't do anything about it because I let it all happen."

Fanciful daydreams flash past her mind's eye. Moments that will never come to be because they agreed to take on that mission. Things she's lost that she can't get back because he watched her walk into that building. Because he didn't burn the building down to get to her.

What if he'd said no? What if he'd changed his mind, grabbed her, and forced her back onto this ship? What if none of it had happened and they had just finished their original mission without interruption?

The latch on the box in her heart starts to rattle.

"Then stop letting it happen," Kairi says, closing her eyes against the tears that threaten her. "Stop hurting me."

"I will. I promise. I fucking promise you that no one will ever hurt you again." Sora's hands frame her head, hooking beneath her ears. His fingers are in her hair and his thumbs press against the part of her cheeks that connects to her ear. "Look at me."

She lets her eyes fall open as a single tear escapes her lashline.

His gaze burns.

"I will never let anyone hurt you again. I've killed for you, Kairi. You're mine. Mine to protect. Mine to take care of. And mine to…" He trails off, that burning hot gaze dropping to her lips. "To…"

Kairi's heart begins to flutter.

The things he's saying.

The way he's holding her face.

The softness of his voice.

She knows what he's going to do before he does it, and it still stuns her.

Sora lowers his face to her own and kisses her, his lips pushing firmly against hers. Everything he's thinking and feeling and wanting is poured into it, refusing to let her breathe until she gets it. Until she understands.

He pulls back and they stare at one another. Kairi's frozen with shock. There's something building in her gut, deep in her body. Gathering strength and infusing itself with trepidation. Dread. Fear.

She's losing control.

"You kissed me," she whispers.

"I did."

"And it wasn't an accident."

"It never was."

The tension mounts between them. It feels like electricity has charged the air. It tingles over Kairi's skin and makes her feel like screaming. The firestorm that's been building inside her starts to grow. It gets hotter and hotter and hotter, until she thinks she might die if he doesn't—

"Do it," Kairi breathes, frantic. "Do it now, Sora. Please. Do—"

The desperate look in his eyes turns feral.

Sora surges forward and crashes his lips against hers, capturing her open mouth and delving his tongue deep inside. She's never kissed like this before, but it doesn't matter because he dominates it. He leads her and tells her exactly what to do without ever having to say the words.

Kairi's hands grasp at the front of his shirt, holding him so tightly against her that she doesn't know where she ends and he begins. Sora's body fits the contours of hers as he presses her into the dresser, practically bending her back over it as he kisses down into her mouth like she's made for it. Made for him.

Maybe she is.

Something shifts in the air and they're clawing at each other. Hands are everywhere, frenzied and searching. Kairi's slide into his damp hair, cup his face, hold his shoulders. Sora's go from her hair to her face to her waist to her hips. He's too damn tall. Kairi pushes herself up onto her toes and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her.

The electricity and fire gathers together and sets off something as powerful as a supernova.

Sora breaks the kiss apart, causing her to gasp. His lips find their way immediately to her neck, kissing and sucking and licking everywhere he can get to. It feels so good. It feels like Olympus made real as he tries to consume her. She can feel his fingers digging into her back, pulling her hard against him and she tangles her fingers in the hair at the back of his head.

She's going to climb this man like a tree.

Kairi twists and yanks, eliciting a hiss of pain from between Sora's lips. Dragging his head up and back, she goes onto her toes again, kissing her way all over his neck. She's ferocious, dragging her teeth over his pulse.

She bites him.

"Fuck," Sora groans, and a growl rumbles in his chest when he grabs her hair and pulls her head back. He kisses her on the lips again, setting upon her and devouring. He grinds his hips against her. Because she's on her toes, she can feel it against her own hips—can feel him. Hard and wanting.

Kairi has no thoughts. Her head is empty. She doesn't even know where she is.

Sora slides his hands down and fills his palms with her rear, hitching her up. She wraps her legs around his waist on instinct, arms squeezing his neck as her head becomes higher than his. Kairi's the one who's kissing into him now, tasting the inside of his mouth. They move, him carrying her, and suddenly she falls. Her back hits the bed and she gasps again.

He descends on her, rolling his hips against hers as he assaults her neck with his lips and tongue. There's flames licking over her skin, coalescing at the center of her abdomen and shooting downward. When her legs fall open a bit wider of their own accord and he grinds his hips again, it hits a part of her that she's never actually noticed before. The fire blasts straight to her core and she goes limp. Sora does it again and again, and she can't help it.

She whimpers.

"You're so fucking sweet," he breathes into her ear, one hand positioned on the bed beside her head and his other hand dragging down her side. "Such a sweet girl."

Sora repeats the movement, rolling his hips in a targeted way. It gives her lightning bolts of pleasure, rocking her off balance. She doesn't know what's happening. All she knows is it feels…like something…it feels…

So good.

"Yeah?" he whispers, running his tongue under the hinge of her jaw. "Does it feel good?"

Kairi realizes with a jolt of embarrassment that she'd said it aloud and she squeaks out a shy, "Yes."

Keeping his hand on the mattress, he pushes himself up so he can shove the hem of her dress upward. His hand goes to her inner thigh and pushes her legs open wider. All that's between their bare skin is his pajama pants and her tights. So when he holds her leg in place and grinds his hardness into her again, she feels it like they're undressed.

And he doesn't stop.

Kairi's eyelids flutter open and she chokes on air as he keeps grinding against her, holding her open and pressing kisses to her shoulder, collarbone, and just below. There's too much sensation. Something must be wrong. Is it supposed to feel like this? No one can make a person feel this overwhelmingly good. It's not possible.

"S-Sora," she gasps, feeling somewhat panicked.

"Yeah?"

"Something's…i-it's…Oh, God."

"That's it," Sora pushes out through gritted teeth. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees him curling his fingers into the blanket and gripping it hard. His damp hair tickles her neck as he drops his forehead to the front of her shoulder. "You're being so fucking good for me."

Kairi whimpers and writhes beneath him, unsure if she should try to escape or lean into it. His body is too hot—she feels like she can't breathe but for the temperature in the room. She's suffocating. She can't move. Her thigh is burning from the stretch of him pushing against it.

Her back arches off the bed. It tilts her hips forward and the change in angle makes her see stars. Everything gets concentrated and tight between her thighs. There's a mountain that she's climbing, one she's never climbed before. One that she doesn't know what's supposed to happen when she gets to the top of. Is she supposed to stand there and look out across the land? Is the mountain supposed to erupt and burn her to ash with molten rock?

"What—oh, God—what's h-happening…" she whines. "Sora, I d-don't—what's happening to me?"

"I'm making you come."

"But—please. Please…"

"It's all right," he soothes. "You're doing so well. Just lie there and take it."

"But—I f-feel…" Kairi stiffens. She's at the top of the mountain. She can feel it. She's looking over the edge, knowing she's about to fall off. "I'm…I…"

"Fuck, Kai. You gonna come for me?"

Kairi has no idea what that means, and it doesn't matter because he grinds his hips one last time and it shoves her off the top of the mountain.

She groans loudly, from the depths of her chest, and her eyes roll up into her head. Her body plummets into something blissful. Nirvana. Stars are born, live, and die. They collapse into pulsars that spin and call out to no one in the vast emptiness that surrounds them. Tears spring to her eyes—tears she doesn't understand, since she's not sad—and she lets out a sob as every muscle in her body twitches and shudders.

"Oh, fuck," Sora moans as she convulses and shudders beneath him, against him, for him. "Good girl. Just like that. Let me feel you."

Sora slips one hand up her dress, sliding it over her sensitive skin and covering her breast with his palm.

That's where it all goes wrong.

One moment, it's his hand on her. The next, it's a monster's claws. It's the guard. It's the Duke. It's the pieces they stole from her, dangled in front of her cruelly. Mocking her. Jeering at her and reminding her how much she doesn't deserve any of this.

Suddenly, it's not Sora above her, it's the demons, and they're hurting her.

Her mind goes completely white and panic explodes through her body. She starts to scream, bursting out into tears and pleading. Begging.

"Whoa, Kairi!" Sora yanks himself away from her, resting on one knee as his other foot touches the floor. "Kairi, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"Please. Please don't. Please." She's out of her mind. Terrified and desperate. They're going to hurt her. They're gonna rip her apart and take and take and take until there's nothing left. Until she's empty. "Please."

There's footsteps in the hall and then the door swings open. Namine stumbles in, Lea hot on her tail. They take in the sight before them, Sora standing over Kairi who's lying on a bed with her dress pushed up, sobbing uncontrollably—and they look at him in alarm.

Lea narrows his eyes. "What did you do, Sora?"

"I didn't—" Sora's voice is shaky, his eyes wild. "I didn't do anything. We were fine, and then she just started panicking."

Namine pushes past Lea and sits down next to Kairi, between her and the pillows. "Kairi, honey, what's wrong? What's the matter?"

"I don't know what's wrong with her!" Sora cries, sitting down beside Kairi and sitting her up. He strokes her hair out of her face. "Kairi. Kairi, look at me, okay?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no! Please!" she wails, pushing at Sora's chest and Namine's in turn. "Please don't hurt me!"

"No one is going to hurt you, Kairi," Namine says. "Lea, in my satchel: there's a Panacea. It'll calm her down."

Lea nods and leaves.

"Kairi," Sora says, holding Kairi's face with tenderness. "You need to breathe."

"I can't," she sobs. "I don't want to."

"I need you to, though," he says to Kairi, his gaze sincere as it rests upon her tear-stained face. "I need you to take a deep breath. Just breathe."

Kairi tries and manages to calm her lungs, but not the wild terror in her racing heart. She clutches her arms around her middle and continues to cry. All around her, she can't see her friends or Sora's room or the window that shows her the stars.

All she can see is a red room, the enraged faces of the guards, and the gleeful look the Duke wore when he touched her bare flesh.

Lea returns. He gives a small glass flask to Namine, who pops the cork and holds it up to Kairi's mouth. Kairi shakes her head.

"You have to drink this," Namine urges. "It'll make you feel better."

"No, it won't," Kairi sobs in anguish, rocking back and forth. "Nothing will make me feel better."

"This will," Sora says.

"No, it won't."

"I need you to do this for me, sweet girl," he whispers, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. He gives her a small, encouraging smile. The sort he would have given her when they were children. "Drink it, and you'll feel loads better."

"...okay…"

Kairi lets Namine tip the potion into her mouth. The magic flows through her body, instantly soothing her energy and bringing it to a flat baseline. Time starts to move at a snail's pace. Kairi's tired. She's so, so tired.

"There you go," Sora says. "Good girl. Feel better?"

Kairi beseeches him, her eyes round and shimmering with tears. Her face is splotchy and her head feels like it's stuffed with cotton and filth. The same filth that's crawling over her body like darkness.

"I just want to go home."

Namine and Sora exchange glances.

"Why don't you lie down?" Namine says. "The potion's going to make you so sleepy, you'll barely be able to keep your eyes open. Let's get you to your room."

Namine helps her out of Sora's room and into her own. Kairi's catatonic as she helps her undress and put pajamas on. She eases her into bed and pulls the blankets up.

"I'll be back later," Namine whispers, smoothing her hand over Kairi's brow. "I'll sleep in here with you."

Kairi says nothing. She just stares.

Namine leaves the room, closing the door behind her. The moment she does, Kairi hears a consternation in the hallway. The slam of a body against the wall is audible.

"What the fuck did you do?" Lea's voice comes through the door. "What did you do, Sora?!"

"I told you, I didn't do anything!" Sora insists. "We were fine, and then she wasn't."

In the back of her hazy mind, Kairi's glad he isn't telling them what they were doing before she broke down. She doesn't think she can bear the shame of them knowing how she ruined everything.

"I better not find out you did something to her," Lea snarls. "She's like my little sister. I will fuck you up if you hurt her."

"I told you. I didn't do anything, Lea. I didn't hurt her."

"I know what I saw, Sora, and it looked pretty fuckin' suspicious."

"Fuck you!" Sora shouts back, his anger threading his tone. "You don't know shit. The fact that you would even suggest—"

"Guys, guys!" Namine cries. "Stop it. She's trying to sleep, and I think you're both being really rude. Sora, you get back in your room. You're not fully healed yet, and I need to do another round of healing magic. Lea, go up to the cockpit and sit with Roxas. He's probably extremely confused about all the shouting."

Things slowly go quiet, until Kairi hears nothing at all.

The Panacea has put her to sleep.

I'm laughing remembering how bad my smut was in Finding Hikari and now it's...it sure is somethin' else.

Okay, that's all the updates I'm gonna do for a good while. The other two chapters I had prepared need some major edits, and I'd like to stack up more chapters so I can do another big chapter dump. The sooner the story is complete, the sooner I get to re-read this completely selfish fanfic.