SMUT ALERT! I WARN YOU! SMUT SMUT SMUT!

And let me explain something to you: it is very disturbing when you're writing a massive raunchy smut scene and your phone autocorrects "firmly" to "family."

Please, Sora. I beg of you.

Do not thrust against Kairi's grandmother.

Chapter Thirteen

The council meeting is a disaster, as Kairi expected it to be.

Everyone's calm, shooting Kairi surreptitious glances, until it comes time for her to tell everyone what happened to her at the brothel. She doesn't want to—she has no desire to tell everyone her greatest shame—but the look on the King's face reminds her that this is part of the agreement they made. Right after this, Sora and Terra and everyone else will leave on their next missions. If she wants to see Sora when he returns, she needs to do this.

And so, with everyone's eyes trained upon her, she speaks. She tells her story, from beginning to end, ignoring the way her stomach roils with nausea at the memories. She pays no attention to the way her skin crawls knowing the Duke and the Matron are being kept here in the dungeons of Disney Castle. She just tells her truth, in a monotone, and without looking up from the table.

Everyone is horrified, of course, but no more than Sora, who has the most explosive reaction of all.

He throws his chair against the wall with a feral snarl of rage and storms off. According to Namine, he has to be restrained to keep him from going down the steps to the dungeons, and Terra is forced to take him on their mission a day early.

It's a long time before Kairi feels safe enough to leave her room after that.

She knows a large part of the reason why is because of Sora. She's already known there's something wrong with him for days, but to see him react the way he did in the council room was an eye-opening experience. She knew he'd be livid to hear what she endured in the brothel and the carriage. His reaction wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise, however, was the way everyone else reacted. They were frightened of him. Perhaps more frightened of him than Kairi could ever be.

Something tells her that things are going to get worse and when that happens, it might come down to a fight. If Kairi has to battle him, she will. If she has to stab herself in the chest to restore his heart, she will. If she has to dive into the darkness and find him, then she damn well will. Because as much as he seems to think she belongs to him, Kairi feels the same way for him. Sora is hers.

Kairi will destroy the darkness before she lets it take him.

Part of the reason why she doesn't want to leave is purely selfish. She likes the safety she feels within four walls that she knows don't move—that don't close in or get smaller. There's a lock on her door. She has one hundred percent full access to her Keyblade. There's a sliding glass door that leads to a balcony overlooking Disney Town, and it's so high up off the ground that a person would have to scale the wall or fly up to get her. And if they think they're getting in through these doors, they can keep trying. Disney Castle is one of the strongest, most fortified castles in the multiverse.

She's safe.

Namine visits frequently at first, until everyone has to go back out on their missions. The brothel mission had derailed their original tasks, which meant everything had to be shuffled around and completed. The remaining two worlds that Sora and Kairi had been originally assigned to tackle are split up. Deep Jungle is given to Riku and Lea, while the Toy Box is given to Yuna and Leon. Everyone sets off, leaving Kairi virtually alone in the castle with Queen Minnie, Princess Daisy, their families, the royal court members, and the staff. So it's by no means quiet.

But it's lonely.

Sora's been assigned to the best person to watch him and handle his behavior—Terra. Terra's the oldest aside from Leon, but he's also the most equipped to deal with the type of darkness that's threatening Sora.

Of course, that's not what the King said when he assigned Terra to Sora, but deep down, everyone knows that the real reason is because he's worried. The King has a knack for sensing when the darkness is a real danger, which feels validating for Kairi to know that even the King knows something's seriously off about him. That there's room for things to spiral into something unthinkable.

It doesn't shock her that they'd keep Sora away from Kairi. She's just bothered by the fact that they're all doing it because Lea and Namine were suspicious about what they saw on the gummi ship. Kairi hates it, but she does understand their line of thinking. She understands Lea's overprotectiveness and Namine's wariness. Not only had it looked questionable, but it really had been after they'd done something…well, consensually sexual. And Kairi's not comfortable outright saying that to everyone.

Just the memory of it has her feeling a bit frazzled. Remembering the way he'd kissed her, and the frantic way she'd longed to be as close to him as possible. She'd begged him to kiss her because she couldn't wait a moment longer. Not after all the years they've known each other. After how long she's loved him and everything they've done to get back to each other. Knowing that the accidental kiss had actually been a misunderstanding, she now knows that at one point, he felt the same for her. Did he love her? She isn't sure. Does he love her now? She doubts it.

But the way he'd made her feel that night on the ship was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. She's thought about it several times over her time spent in her room, hidden away and alone, and it's to the point where she sometimes finds herself restless. She's frustrated with the fact that the Duke and those stupid guards had sunk their claws in her deep enough to make it difficult for her to be intimate. She's twenty-four and has so much to learn. Will she ever be able to be normal?

The worst part is that she wants it to happen again. As the days go on, Kairi finds herself thinking longingly of those feelings he awakened in her. She doesn't understand exactly what happened, but she has an idea from a scientific perspective. Her mother had explained sex to her a long time ago, but she didn't explain what an orgasm actually was supposed to feel like. Which would be strange and super awkward to have to hear from your mother, so she's not angry about it.

She just wishes she didn't feel so behind. So uneducated. She's embarrassed that she didn't know what the things Sora was saying meant. She's irritated that she doesn't know how to explain why she likes being called good and sweet. She just knows it makes her body shiver, her skin tingle, and something pulse low in her belly. Something that feels much like the way it felt to have him pressed so tight against her, trapping her between him and the bed, rolling his hips—

Kairi's eyes snap open in the darkness of the night, her chest heaving for air as she jolts herself out of yet another reverie. She doesn't have much to do beyond read and scroll through her gummi phone in her room, so there's been a lot of reflection. Sometimes she thinks about her life and the things she's done thus far. Sometimes she has flashbacks to the brothel, to the Duke. And sometimes she thinks of Sora. But when she thinks about Sora, it usually ends up drifting to the memory of that night on the ship, which gets her restless all over again.

She glances over at her door, feeling bitter and ashamed about her desires. If he walked into the room right this very second, she's not sure she wouldn't launch herself at him and plead with him to make it happen again. To make her feel those bolts of lightning that had her writhing.

But what if she has a panic attack again? What if he touches somewhere that her body says is off-limits, and it reacts in ways she can't control? She hates that she couldn't even bear his fingers on her chest. She hates that she's ruined.

Is she broken, too?

Everything is so frustrating. She feels guilty thinking about it, but sometimes, she regrets helping those girls. There are moments where her thoughts devolve into anger. She didn't know those women. She had never met them before. And now there are pieces of her missing and she'll probably never even see those women again. She hates that she feels this way, and she knows it makes her a horrible person, but…

She wishes things were different.

A couple of weeks after everyone's gone to their missions, Kairi decides to venture out of her room. She wanders around mindlessly, greeting any court or staff members that she sees, while doing her best to avoid running into Minnie or Daisy. She can't bear their questions right now. She just wants to be alone.

Somehow, Kairi finds herself standing at the top of the stairwell that leads to the dungeons, staring down at the steps that spiral into darkness. Down there, she knows that the Duke and The Matron are imprisoned, awaiting judgment.

Do they know Kairi's in the castle with them? Do they feel any remorse? Or are they so sick and demented that they truly enjoy what they did to her and to those girls? Maybe she should go down there and just…look at them. Just to see for herself that they really are locked up. She won't speak to them. She'll just look.

Kairi takes a step forward, hesitating.

Does she really want to do this? Is she ready to look them in the eyes? She still dreams of the carriage. Of the Red Room and the crack of the whip lashing through the air. There are thin white scars that line her back, a web of painful reminders that she'll never be able to free herself of. Will seeing them make it worse?

Her decision is made for her when Clarabelle, Goofy's wife, happens to be marching on by with all of the children—Minnie's, Daisy's, and her own. They've all got little woven hand baskets and they clamor toward Kairi, begging her to go berrypicking with them on the castle grounds. They're looking up at their with their big, shining eyes, and she can't resist. She agrees.

And she walks away from the dungeons.

Kairi does just fine with the berrypicking, so she decides to try going to the dining hall to join everyone for dinner. It's chaotic, the long table full to the brim with the children and court members, and everyone is much happier than she is. She feels like there's something dark and empty inside of her; like she has to hide it from all these pure, clean creatures who smile and shine.

Still. She's happy to see everyone even if she has to put on a false smile. She's been holed up in her room for so long that the small outing has refreshed her a bit. She's unsure if she'll do it again soon, but she's content with what she's done today.

But the food tastes like ash on her tongue.

Towards the end of supper, the doors open and in walks Terra and King Mickey. They're smiling and waving at everyone, greeting Kairi warmly and asking after her spirits. She lies and tells them she's doing perfectly, and she uses her berry picking trip as proof to bolster the lie. This pleases the King greatly, who tells her that soon enough, she'll be permitted to go on missions again. She's happy to hear that, but a tad bit concerned she might not actually be ready for it.

Kairi realizes that with Terra here, that means Sora must be, too. She finds herself anxiously glancing to the door every thirty seconds, hoping he'll walk in. She hasn't seen him since the summit meeting and then they'd been surrounded by everyone. She wants to see him by herself and see if they can't talk things through. She doesn't want him to think he's at fault for any of it. Even she hadn't known she'd react the way she did when he touched her where he did.

She's unable to finish her plate. She can't even eat a quarter of it. The Queen is highly concerned about this, given that Kairi's barely been eating the meals the maids bring her, but Kairi just can't do it. Her stomach feels curdled and sick. There's too much going on and Sora isn't here and she just wants to be alone.

So, she excuses herself with as much grace as she can muster and returns to her room.

Kairi bathes, washing herself between the legs five times as she always does, and then bundles up in her bed. She scrolls through her phone until the stars come out, mindlessly looking in on everyone's picture-perfect lives and wondering if things will ever be good again. Eventually, she sets her gummi phone on the bedside table, pulls up her duvet, and goes to sleep.

A short time later—or perhaps it's a long time, she can't be sure—she wakes to the sound of a quiet knock on her door. Her heart leaps with nervousness. What the Duke and The Matron somehow escaped? What if they're trying to catch her off guard and trick her into unlocking her door?

She gulps and summons her Keyblade, tip-toeing to her door and leaning her ear against the wood.

Another quiet knock comes, surprising her and causing her to jump back from the door. Her hands tremble around the hilt of Destiny's Embrace as she steps up to it again.

"Who—" She clears her throat. "Who i-is it?"

"It's me," comes Sora's voice. "Hurry up and let me in, before the night guard catches me."

Relief floods through her, becoming quickly replaced by enthusiasm. She glances down at herself, wondering if she should change. Her hair is loose about her arms, and her pajamas tonight are pink satin—a button-up shirt and pair of loose-fitting shorts combo. Ultimately deciding it's not a big deal, she banishes her Keyblade and unlocks the door.

Sora's standing there, wearing joggers and a grey shirt with short sleeves. His cobalt blue eyes glint in the low firelight of the lanterns in the corridor and he flashes her a small smile. She smiles back, stepping aside so he can slip in. Kairi closes the door behind them and turns to face him, craning her neck because he's so damn tall.

"Long time no see," she says, her voice tremulous. She hasn't seen him in so long and the last time they were alone together, very intense things took place. "How was the mission?"

He doesn't answer.

Sora grabs her shoulders and yanks her against him. He wraps his arms around her tight, dropping his head into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Kairi gets past her moment of surprise and slides her own arms around his waist, melting into the embrace. He smells like his cologne, warm and familiar.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. "If I had known, I never would have touched you like that. I swear."

"Oh, no!" she cries, pushing him back by the waist and smiling up at him. "You did nothing wrong. Everyone's being unfair to you about this."

Sora sighs and lets go of her. She already misses his touch.

"They don't trust me at all," he says. He trudges over to her rumpled bed and sinks down onto the edge. "It's like they think I'd…fuck. I would never hurt you like that."

"I know, Sora." Kairi rushes to sit beside him, reaching for his hand. He holds it with both of his own and looks down at her, appearing forlorn. "They just didn't know what they were seeing. And you and I both had no idea that I was going to panic like that. Everything was fine…"

"...until it wasn't," he finishes. "It's just frustrating that they wouldn't let me see you. I was so concerned that I'd done something to hurt you. And right after I'd promised not to hurt you again."

"I understand why Lea and Namine were concerned." Kairi feels shyness bring a blush to her cheeks. She takes her hand back and fidgets with her fingernails in her lap. "Plus, it's not like we could exactly tell them what we'd been doing."

"No," he murmurs, the corners of his lips twitching upward. "I don't suppose we could."

"Could you imagine?" Kairi giggles. "They'd never let us hear the end of it."

Sora shakes his head with a short laugh and then looks down at her. He studies her face for a long moment. The expression on his face is sad, his brow furrowed and mouth frowning.

"Is everything okay?" she asks. "How was the mission?"

"The mission was fine," he says softly. "Terra is fair. We got along."

"That's good. Why do you look so sad, then?"

He doesn't reply. He just keeps staring at her. Not in a pointed or intentional way, though. It's like he doesn't realize he's doing it. Like he's lost in his own mind. Kairi feels his sadness mirrored in her own heart, and wonders why he's looking at her like that. Why he looks so weighed down.

Kairi musters up some bravery and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek with one hand. "Sora?"

Sora blinks rapidly, snapping out of his own head. "Hm?"

"Are you tired?"

He nods.

Kairi wets her lips. "Would you like to sleep in here?"

"Sleep in here?" He arches one eyebrow, but the look on his face doesn't brighten up at all. "What if they catch me in the morning?"

"You can wake up early and sneak out before the sun's up." She checks her phone. "It's not even midnight yet."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, silly. I'd sleep better with you in here, anyway." She grimaces. "Lots of nightmares."

"Well, in that case…"

He stands up so she can adjust the blankets. Kairi pulls them back and climbs in first, tucking her body beneath the duvet. Sora follows, the heat of his body engulfing her as he settles down beside her on his back. He tucks one arm behind his head and rests the other hand on his abdomen above the blanket. Kairi lies on her back, too, feeling like every bone, every muscle, and every inch of skin on her body is aflame. She clasps her hands on her sternum and tries to relax.

"How've you been?" he asks, his voice seeming quiet in the dark. The stars aren't very bright tonight, so all she can see is the outline of his face and unruliness of his hair when she looks over at him.

"Not the best," she answers truthfully. "It's not just nightmares. I've felt scared to leave my room, especially knowing that they're here in the castle, you know? But I know there's no way around it. The dungeons of Disney Castle are the best place for them. No chance of escape."

"No chance of the King allowing me anywhere near them," he mutters, his voice dark.

"Well, you'd kill them, Sora," she says with a mirthless, abrupt laugh. "You can't blame them for that rule, at least."

Sora's quiet for a bit, leaving Kairi's mind to wander.

"When I killed that guard," he says suddenly, voice soft, "it wasn't like I thought it would be."

Kairi's heart skips a beat as unease curls in her gut. "What do you mean?"

"Like…I always thought killing a person would be like in the movies, where you panic and shake and regret it. But it was one of the easiest things I've ever done. All I had to do was think about him hurting you the way he implied he did, and it was as easy as fucking breathing. I did exactly what I told you I would do. I slit his throat. And there was blood everywhere, but I did it from behind, so I didn't get much on me. I just left him there. Told Phoebus where his body was, and we left."

Kairi tries not to flinch at the mental images of him doing something so gory and awful. She can't say he's not a killer anymore. He is a killer. Sora took the life of a very bad, very disgusting man. The man who hurt her breasts and cut her skin, and who had probably raped countless other girls in the Red Room to break them in like they tried to do to Kairi. It was a human life.

But it was a life that man didn't deserve.

"And you don't regret it?" she asks.

"He hurt you," Sora says simply, as though it's the answer to two plus two. "If I could do it again, I would. The only thing I regret was letting Phoebus take the other guard before I could handle it."

Kairi's silent, finding herself confused and conflicted.

"I know that's one reason why they assigned Terra to me," Sora goes on. "They know I'd go back for that piece of shit in a heartbeat. And I would, you know? It's the first thing I would do. I'd get my hands around his throat and snap his neck. But really, I don't care how it's done. As long as he dies."

Kairi sits up, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. She looks down at him, holding his gaze. When she sees him, he still looks like the Sora she's known for so long. His eyes are the same blue and his face is the same. But the words that are coming out of his mouth…they're not him. They can't be.

Could they?

"You scare me now, Sora," she says. "You do. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Why?" His face doesn't change. He's serious about everything he's said.

Kairi looks away, feeling shame creeping up in her heart. "Because I want him dead, too."

Sora sits up beside her, pulling his knees up under the blanket and slinging his elbows over them.

"I'd do it for you if you asked, you know. I'd go back and finish it."

"I know." Kairi sighs, looking down. "That's the problem."

"Hey. Look at me." Sora's hand goes to her jaw, pulling her face around so she's looking up at him. His expression is hard, but his eyes are soft as they fix upon her. "I would do absolutely anything you asked me to do. If it's what you want, I will make it happen."

A chill ripples over her. His fingers are gentle on her skin and she lets her eyelid flutter shut. She pushes her face into his palm, using one hand to hold it against her cheek. She feels his thumb stroke over her cheekbone and when she opens her eyes, her stomach drops.

There are tears in his eyes.

"Sora? Are you okay?"

"The—the summit meeting. Hearing what they did to you…" It's his turn to turn his face away. "I've never been more angry in my entire fucking life. Just imagining you, screaming and—and pleading…and I was right outside. I was literally right there, and I shouldn't have been. I should have been inside there, cutting their fucking throats and getting you out of there."

Kairi hugs her arms around herself. "There are things we can't change, and that's okay."

"No. No, it's not okay. Kairi. They tried to destroy you." He sounds angry. "And there are things they did that have stayed with you. There's nothing you or anyone else could say that would make me hate myself any less for not rescuing you."

"Sora, you didn't know." Kairi's eyes sting. "There's no use lamenting the what-ifs."

"Except that I did know, and I knew from the beginning that it was a bad idea. I told everyone. I told Riku. And he just played it off like it didn't matter." Sora's voice lowers and she sees him clenching one of his hands into a fist. "I don't understand why I was the only one who cared."

"I think he cared," Kairi says, "but I think he thought it wouldn't happen. I think he wanted to believe that something like that would never happen to me, or to anyone he knows."

"Yeah, and it got you fucking hurt," Sora snaps.

Kairi flinches away from him. She's concerned about more than just the murderous thoughts Sora's having. She's also concerned about his friendship with Riku. They'd already seemed to be at each other's necks before the brothel.

"Do you blame him?" she asks.

"Yes. I blame him. I blame Lea. I blame the King. I blame everyone who set the mission up and pulled you girls into something so fucked up. They never should have done it the way they did. The name of the guy didn't matter—eventually, he would have been found."

"And if he hadn't?"

"I don't care."

"What about the kidnapped girls?"

"You aren't understanding me, Kairi." He holds her gaze with a ferocity that threatens to overwhelm her. "I don't give a fuck about anyone but you. I would let the fucking world burn if it meant keeping you safe."

Kairi's lower lip trembles. She'd been dealing with feelings of regret, feeling so guilty for wishing she could go back and not help them. And now Sora's here, telling her he didn't care about them, either.

Are they both bad people?

"I don't know what to do with that," she says, lying flat on her back. "Everything's so messed up."

He lies down, too, scrubbing his face with his hands. "It's never happening again. I don't care what they want. If anyone—even the King—ever asks you to do something like that again, you're not doing it. I won't let you do it."

"Okay," is all she can think to say. She doesn't disagree. She wishes that's what had happened when Riku first called.

"I don't want to control you," he says, more gently this time. "But I can't let you get hurt again. You understand that, right?"

"Yes."

"Good."

They lie there in silence for long enough that Kairi's mind starts to wander back to the thoughts she'd had earlier that day. The things she yearns for, and the things she's frustrated to have been affected by the Duke. From the moment she first kissed Sora on the ship, she'd known she was going to do it again. And when he made her feel those things he did, she didn't realize she was going to grow so desperate for it to happen again.

"I was thinking…" she says.

"About what?"

"Well, before the—before my panic attack…what we did."

He turns his head toward her. "What about it?"

"I feel frustrated that it was ruined by them," she says honestly. "By the memories of them. And I'm worried it'll always be that way."

He rolls onto his side. "What would you like to do about it?"

"Huh?"

"What do you want to do about it?" he repeats. "Is there something I can do to help?"

Kairi rolls onto her side, too, hesitating. There is something she's been thinking about, at the back of her mind. But she's worried. He could say no, or she could have another panic attack. And if that happened right now and anyone came running, they'd find Sora in the same compromised position as last time.

"I don't want what happened at the b-brothel to be the thing that keeps me from…well, experiencing things," she says, closing her eyes to hide the shame she feels choking her. "Could we…I mean, do you think that we could…figure things out?"

"Figure them out how?"

"I don't know." She can't keep the misery from her voice. "I don't even know what I'm doing when it comes to this stuff."

He looks thoughtful for a moment before he speaks.

"Want to try something?"

Her nerves start to act up. "Sure. What is it?"

"Why don't we figure out what's okay and what isn't."

"You mean like, my boundaries?"

"Yeah. What's off-limits and what isn't."

"On my—my body?" She stumbles over her words, feeling so nervous that her stomach is in knots.

"Mm-hm."

"I…" Kairi squeezes her eyes shut and lowers her voice. She's intimidated by him. He's so experienced and he knows things that she doesn't know. "I'm nervous."

"Don't be nervous," he says softly, and she feels his knuckles brushing her cheekbone. "I'll take care of you."

"Okay," she breathes. "How do we figure it out?"

"I touch you," he says, his fingers brushing her shoulder, down to her bicep. "We see how you react. We stop whenever you need to. And we'll be able to find out what parts of you that I can't touch. Does that make sense?"

"Yes." Her breath hitches when his finger drifts back up and he starts to sweep her long hair away, letting it fall behind her. "I know I'm okay with this, with you touching my hair and my face and my arm."

Sora's lips curl up, his eyes lidded as he watches his hand move. "Good. That's good."

The word "good" on his lips makes her feel nice. Floaty. Like she's a preening bird.

"What next?" she asks.

"How about here?" Sora's fingers run the length of one collarbone. Her breath catches again, her skin feeling overly-sensitive. "That okay?"

"Yes. Just not…m-my chest." She tenses. "I'm sorry. I know it's probably annoying, I'd understand if you don't want to—"

"Shhh," he soothes, his fingers sliding up into her hair. He momentarily grazes her scalp, the pleasant feeling causing her to shiver. "Don't worry. I won't touch you there. I know it scares you."

Kairi smiles shyly. "Thank you."

"What about here?"

Sora touches her abdomen, fingers grazing over the satin of her pajama shirt. She feels her muscles twitching, like they're reaching for him, and she nods.

"I like that."

"And this?" His fingers curve around her waist, hand heavy and present. "Okay?"

"Yes, it's okay."

He slides his hand to her hip. "This?"

"Yes."

"And this?" He presses his thumb into the dip of her hip bone, and something intense jolts through her, pulsing in her core. She gasps at the sensation and nods. "Want me to do it again?"

She flushes. "Could you?"

He smirks and does it again, this time massaging the tender flesh in a circle. She sucks in her breath, pressing her thighs tightly together to relieve the sudden confusing ache between them.

And then, right when she feels her eyes falling shut, he moves his hand to her lower back. His fingertips trail the length of her spine and down again. It's so relaxing that she nearly croons. She looks up at him through hazy eyes.

"I like that," she whispers.

"Good." He leans closer and whispers, "You're doing so well, telling me all this."

Kairi looks away, down at the bed, and wishes they weren't lying on their sides.

She wishes he was on top of her.

His hand slides down, down, down, and his fingers smooth over her bare thigh. "This?"

"Y-Yes." She stammers the word, trying not to become too overwhelmed at the sensation. Her skin has never felt this sensitive before. "That's okay."

He slides his hand up and she feels his fingers grazing her rear. She looks up at him with wide eyes, seeing that he's looking down at her body, at the paths his hand has taken. Like he's painting a picture and in awe of his own work.

"This?" he whispers.

"Yes," she whispers back. "I was okay with it when we were…you know, kissing."

He hums his approval and spreads his fingers, gripping a palmful of her flesh there. "You like this?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You think?"

"I mean, it's okay for you to touch there, but I don't know if I like it, exactly."

He peers at her. "Do you mean you don't know how it feels?"

"Yeah, that's it."

He wets his lips, searching her eyes for a moment before saying, "Do you want to do something for me?"

"Sure. What is it?"

His hand slides all the way up her body, to where he cups her cheek and pulls. Their lips come together in a soft, barely-there kiss, and he murmurs against her mouth.

"Wanna get on top of me?"

The huskiness of his voice coupled with his gentle hands and the nature of his requests makes that electric something throb between her legs again. She thinks to herself, wondering if it's something she'd be okay doing. So far, every situation she'd been in—with the Duke, the guards, and even Sora—they'd been on top of her. Would it be different if she was on top of Sora instead?

"Okay," she says.

He gives her a small half-smile and moves his hand to her hip. He rolls onto his back, pulling her with him, and she slides her leg across both of his. Kairi's body trembles as she settles atop him, their hips flush together and her hands on his chest. He's already hard, and she at least knows enough about that part for it not to bother or startle her.

Kairi isn't sure what to do next, and Sora seems to sense this because he starts running his hands up and down her upper arms, back, and sides.

"Did you like how I made you feel good before?" he asks, meeting her eyes. "That night?"

Kairi nods, hoping he doesn't see the hungry glint in her eyes. She very much liked it and very much wants to feel it again. She doesn't want to say she's greedy for it, but…

"Do you know why it felt good?" he asks.

"No." She tries not to feel embarrassed. "I don't know anything about all of this stuff."

He raises one eyebrow. "Nothing?"

"Not really."

"Have you ever touched yourself?"

Her face heats up again, her stomach twists, and she mumbles, "No. Is that bad?"

"No, no," he says, but he's looking at her in a different way. His hands continue to stroke her back. "I think not knowing things is probably going to make things harder for you, where healing is concerned. So I think you should learn."

"Well, I suppose there's books and websites that would tell me," she says thoughtfully.

He laughs.

"What?" she asks, confused.

"I can teach you, Kairi. I mean, read the books and look at the websites, so you know for yourself, but right now…" His fingers scrape down her back. It's relaxing and it feels like a massage. It makes her body go limp on top of his, and her head pillow on his chest. "Right now, I can at least show you why it felt good before. But only if you want me to."

"...okay."

"Yeah?" Sora cocks an eyebrow.

"Yes, you can show me. But…" She swallows. "I don't think I can touch myself…down there. It—well, the Duke, he—"

"You won't have to, and neither will I."

"O-Okay. Then…what do I do now?"

Sora's hands slide down to her hips.

"Tilt your hips forward," he says, sounding breathless. "Good. That's good. Now rock them forward. The same way I did to you."

Kairi does so, making sure her hips are tilted as she rocks them forward onto him. The resulting feeling is intense, and it makes her eyes widen. It's just like when they were on the ship.

"Feel it?"

She doesn't reply, rocking her hips several more times, just to be sure what she felt was real. And then she keeps going, testing different speeds and styles to find out what feels best. When she does, she places her hands on his chest, rocking them again.

It feels so good she whimpers.

"It's different like—sitting up like this," she says, her own voice breathy. She opens her eyes for a moment and sees Sora's eyelids flutter shut. He's breathing heavier.

"Is it?" he says.

"Yes. Better."

His breath is shaky as he whispers, "Good."

Kairi moves her hands, trying to decide if she wants to put them on his shoulders or not. As she does, her fingertips happen to graze over one of his nipples. He sucks in his breath, his gaze flickering between her hand and her lower body. He doesn't realize she's watching him with curiosity.

She's a clever girl, after all.

Kairi rocks her hips and touches his nipple again, through the shirt. She does it over and over, circling it on his chest as she keeps up the slow pace of her hips. He clenches his teeth before his mouth opens and he lets out a harsh pant. He doesn't seem inclined to stop her, so she moves a little faster, pinching it between her fingers.

Sora cries out, his back arching off the bed.

Kairi smiles to herself, proud of her ability to piece puzzles together. She keeps up the faster pace and uses both of her hands on his chest now. He whimpers and his fingers dig into her hips. Kairi shivers when he starts to pull her forward, hard, and grinds his hips up from below.

It's Kairi's turn to be surprised.

She doesn't know if it's the firm press of his hardness massaging the thing that appears to give her the most euphoric feelings, or if it's the sound of his whimpers, but she feels a violent pulse of energy in her pelvis. It shoots down to where they're rubbing up against each other, and she's the one who whimpers now.

"Please," he suddenly whispers, looking up at her through half-closed desperate, unfocused eyes.

"Please what?" she asks, confused.

"I'll come if you don't stop."

Kairi blinks. He's still pulling her against him, still rolling his hips from below. Why would he say that, but keep moving? She stops moving and he gets the hint, ceasing his action. He lies there, chest heaving as he catches his breath. One hand passes over his forehead as though in relief.

"Am I doing it wrong?" she asks, her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

"Uhh…" He breathes a laugh. "No. You definitely aren't."

"Oh. You'd tell me if I was, though right?"

"Obviously." His eyes sparkle as he gives her a lopsided smile. "But I honestly don't think there's a wrong way to do what you were doing. What about you?"

"It felt nice…" she trails, trying to make sense of her thoughts and feelings. He watches her think with a questioning look in his eyes. "But not exactly the same as when you did it."

"In what way?" He pushes himself up onto his elbows. "Tell me."

She opens her mouth, feeling suddenly shyer than she had before. "Are we supposed to do it with less clothing?"

His eyebrows shoot up. "Are you saying you want that?"

Kairi winces. "Is that bad?"

"What is it exactly that you're wanting?"

"Well…it feels good, but not enough since I'm doing it myself," she says honestly, in disbelief that they're doing this and talking about it like it's no big deal. Which, at twenty-four it really shouldn't feel like a big deal. But for her, with what she's experienced, it kinda sorta is a big deal. She tilts her head. "Are we supposed to be in our underwear? Not pajama pants."

He shrugs. "Not necessarily. I mean, for fucking, obviously you should probably figure something out, but for this…"

There he goes with his crudeness again.

She doesn't dislike it.

"I think we should take our pants off," she says matter-of-factly. "It's what makes sense."

"Are you sure?" He frowns slightly. "That's dangerous. What if it's too much and you panic?"

"I know, I'm just…frustrated."

"Why?"

Kairi mulls over her words, trying to figure out the best way to explain. She sits up on his hips, her hands resting on his abdomen. Her trauma with the Duke and those guards is what's frustrating her. She hates that they might have a claim on her and her life for years to come. She's loved Sora for so damn long and now that she has him, something's trying to take it away?

It's not fair.

"Kairi? What's wrong?"

Sora sits up more, propping himself on his hand while he places his other hand on her cheek. Kairi didn't realize there were tears leaking down her face. She's just so lost in thought about this. So deep in a dark place that's sad and confusing.

"I want to be able to do these things. I like the way it feels. I'm twenty-four years old and it's not fair." She sniffles, throat aching as she holds her sobs in. "It's not fair that he—that they…they tried to take it away from me."

"I know, but you have to realize that you can do these things," he says softly. "You can make whatever choice you want."

"I know."

"We don't have to do any of…" Sora gestures between their bodies, where she still sits straddling his lap. "...this. We can just lay down. Talk. I don't care. We can do whatever you want."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Her heart warms in her chest at the sincerity she sees on his face. Before she can really study it, he pushes his head forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips. He does it a second time and then a third, and somehow, they end up just as frantic as they were on the ship. Their tongues are caressing and their hands are in each other's hair and they're kissing like their lives depend on it.

"What do you want? Hm?" he breathes out before he curves his tongue around the shell of her ear and makes her stifle a cry at the intensity. "I'll give you whatever you want."

"I…" Her heavy breaths cut her off when he kisses his way down the side of her face, past her jaw, and stops at her throat. She can feel the prickle of stubble that hasn't quite grown in yet tickling her skin. His lips are hot, tongue even hotter as he licks over her pulse.

"Tell me. Tell me what you want."

"I want…I want to take our pants off."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure."

Sora's hand grips the side of her neck, holding her in place as he scrapes his teeth on her throat and continues to sear her skin with his lips. It makes Kairi shiver. There's something insistent between her legs that wants many things from him. It wants to be touched and caressed and kissed, just like he's doing to her neck.

Soon enough, he's lying beneath her in nothing but his tee shirt and boxers, and Kairi's in the same boat. She settles atop him again, feeling the heat of his body through the fabric and when she squirms, she feels her underwear sliding against her.

She's wet and by the feeling of it, immensely so.

Kairi drops her head onto his chest as she grinds her hips, unable and unwilling to stop. It's like fire is consuming her, burning her skin and organs and bones. Every rock of her hips makes her feel like she's climbing that mountain again—the one she thinks she might want to live on. She can feel the fabric of her panties rubbing against her, too, and the mixture of sensations is overwhelming.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Sora says.

"Yes," she whines. "Yes, yes."

Sora's fingers slide into her hair and scrape their nails over her scalp. She moans at the pleasant feeling and, with his other hand gripped tightly around her hip, he jerks her forward. When she does, he rolls up to meet her hips and that, plus his nails on her scalp, make her body go rigid. She practically screams into his chest, feeling the groan he lets out rumbling in its cage.

"Why does it feel so good?" she asks, pushing herself up again, this time with her hands on the bed to either side of him.

His lips curl up and he tangles his fingers in the red strands of hair he's currently feeling, pulling tight. Kairi gasps at the combined sensations when he drags her mouth up to his, the motion causing her hips to tilt forward and press down.

Kairi cries out, and he kisses her to swallow it before speaking again.

"Because that spot," he murmurs against her lips, "is the place I like to play with best."

Sora pulls her hair again, keeping it wrapped tight around his hand and her neck taut. With his hand on her hips and his lips going to her throat again, she can't move. Not unless he makes her. And make her he does, pulling her against him again and again, grinding his own hips up from below.

Kairi is fairly certain she might die here.

"You have no idea how badly I wanna fuck you," he groans into her ear. She tries to move her head, but he's holding her hair much too tight. "It's been years of watching you, adoring you, imagining you beneath me with my cock buried so fucking deep inside you."

"Your what?" she moans, confused but not willing to let go of the feelings his words are inspiring in her. She's never felt so…tingly. So delicious. He's doing things to several places in her body—her head, her hips, her thighs, her core. Everything's just so good.

"This," he growls, holding her still so he can bite her ear and thrust against her firmly from below. They're close enough, such thin fabric between them, that Kairi can swear she feels it like they're naked. Her muscles spasm involuntarily. "And I can feel how wet you are."

"I like when you talk to me," Kairi blurts out, her stomach in so many knots and her lower body screaming at her to hurry up and get to the top of the mountain and jump. "When you say things…like th-that."

"What sort-of things?" He nuzzles her throat with his nose, his hair soft against her. "When I call you a good girl? When I tell you how sweet you are?"

She whimpers out her answer, which is obviously in the affirmative. She starts to thrust her own hips forward meeting his, and the fact that she still can't move her head makes it ten times better. Sora's face is buried in the crook of her neck and shoulder and his other hand is sliding up and down her side, around to her lower back to help her.

"You—fuck—you're gonna make me fucking come," he moans, voice scratchy and hoarse in her ear. He's pulling her hair so tight that it's making her eyes roll up in her head.

"Don't you want to?" she whispers, in another land entirely.

"Yeah," he pants. "You want me to?"

"Yes."

"Oh, you sweet girl." Sora shivers and scrapes his teeth over her neck again. He slides his hands down over her rear and over to the outside of one of her thighs. "Spread your legs more for me. Yeah. Fuck. That's it."

Kairi seems to have lost her mind because for some ungodly reason, she reaches down between them and pushes at the waistband of his boxers. She's so single-minded right now. All she keeps singing about in her mind is the fact that it'll feel so nice and so good if she's the only one with her underwear on.

"W-Wait," he whispers, pulling back to look at her and releasing her hair. "What are you wanting? You want me to take them off?"

"Not off, just push them down," she replies, feeling frenzied and desperate. "Please. It'll be better."

Sora obliges and she sees a flash of his teeth as he gives her a crooked smile. She feels her body rising as he lifts his hips and tugs them down just enough for her to feel his bare skin and heat. When his hips rest flat again, Kairi can feel him. She can feel him.

"Fuck," he groans, dragging the word out. "I knew you were soaked."

Kairi is not an idiot. She knows it feels like this because the gusset of her panties is so wet. But there's no time to register research or anything else of the sort. She just wants to grind and grind and grind.

"Can I—" He pants again. "Can I lay you on your back? Please."

"Yes."

Kairi opens her eyes and, for a second, thinks she sees his eyes flash saffron in the starlight. It's only a moment, and it's probably her imagination. But she has barely a second to notice it before he grabs her waist, lifts her, and rolls to slam her down on the mattress. Her body hits the soft down with an undignified oof. And then he's crawling over her, his lips diving down to capture hers in a soul-shattering, toe-curling kiss that makes every part of her body sing. Kairi spreads her legs on instinct, her hair splaying over the pillow, and he presses up against her, her panties, her body.

Their kissing is as frantic as Kairi feels, and as electric as a thunderstorm. Everything is hazy and good, good, good. He grinds against her and she reaches between them out of some sort of morbid curiosity, but he's pressed so tight to her that her hand gets trapped on her pelvis. Making a frustrated sound, she huffs into his mouth and pulls her hand back out. It tugs her panties up in the front and suddenly…suddenly…

"Oh, fuck," Sora whines. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

The gusset of her knickers has been pulled up enough that when he grinds forward, she feels his length sliding over bare wet skin on either side. She finds herself feeling even more desperate. There's a supernova waiting for her at the end of a long tunnel of swirling stars and she plans to burn within the center of it. She gasps out his name, the fingers of her free hand clawing at his shoulder in an attempt to hold him closer.

At first, she thinks she should stop him since, well, the skin he can feel is part of her core, just not all of it. But then she realizes that she doesn't want him to. It's not his hands down there. She thinks maybe that's what she's afraid of—hands and fingers, groping at secret places that she should be the only one to reveal. She's not afraid of this, of him.

"Sora…?"

"What? Tell me. I wanna hear it."

"It feels s-so g-good," she whimpers. "More. Please?"

Sora growls again, pushing himself up. He grabs her knees, pushing on them and holding her open. The skin of his—cock, he called it? It feels dirty to think the word—is velvet smooth where it slides over her core. The difference is immediate. She tries to move her hips, but the way he's pushing on her legs makes it impossible.

"Is this—" Sora lifts his head again and looks down at her through his lashes. He shudders as he slides slowly up again. "Is this okay? Are you okay to keep going?"

"If you stop, I'll stab you with my Keyblade, Sora. I swear to—oh, my God. "

He slides over her again, fast and hard, over and over and over and over and—

Kairi should feel embarrassed by how wanton she's being. All the whimpering and moaning and now she's just let out a sob. She really should be blushing and shy. But she can't right now. She just…her mind is somewhere else. It's not on this world. It's in a completely different galaxy, floating through Heartless swarms and la-la land.

Her head lolls to the side and, wanting to grab his other shoulder she lets go of her panties.

Sora lets go of one of her knees and grabs her hand, putting it back where it was before.

"Keep it there," he says, practically purring. "If you let go again, I won't let you come."

She does as she's told because she likes doing what he says and she really doesn't want to have to stab him with the Keyblade. Her fingers clench in the fabric and pull up, tight, so she feels his skin once more. When his hand returns to her knee to push on it, to continue to keep her spread for him, her chest arches up off the bed and she sobs again.

"Please," is all she can think to say, and she has no idea what she's begging for. "Please, Sora. Please."

"You like how I'm doing this?" he breathes out, his eyes flickering over her flushed face and decolletage. "Hm? You like how it feels?"

"Yes. God, yes."

"Do you want to come?"

Her brows pull together as though she's in pain and she nods. Though she would consider what he's doing, keeping her suspended on the edge like this is what's truly painful.

"Then it's a good thing you don't have any other choice, isn't it?"

Kairi's eyelids flutter open at his words as they slam into her like the train in Twilight Town. She feels her entire body go rigid, trapped, unable to move or do anything other than wait for him to toss her into that supernova she's been waiting for. Her fingers tremble where they're wrapped over the waistband of her panties. Now that she knows what it's supposed to feel like, she can tell what's about to happen.

"Come on, Kai." Sora's voice is soothing, a caress. "Be a good girl and let me make you come."

It starts as sparks. They go off, flaring before her eyes like fireworks. Then it's lightning, slamming into her, followed by flames, and then she's soaring. She comes, every muscle in her body spasming. Her feet shaking and dulcet moans singing from her lips as she lies there and lets the supernova rip her to shreds.

"There we go," Sora says in that same tone. He keeps moving his hips, chasing his own undoing and leaving her trying to squirm. "So good. So good for me. Fuck."

"It—It's too m-much," she cries.

"Do you want to stop?"

Kairi squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head no. She doesn't know what's happening. Why she feels so overstimulated. All she knows is she's even wetter now, and Sora's whimpering, and she's gasping for air like she's just come from the sea, and she's chanting, "Please," like it's a mantra.

Somehow, and quite suddenly, the overstimulation fades, becoming replaced by the good again. Her body quivers and quakes. That feeling of good, good, good ramps up faster and faster—much faster than the last time—and suddenly she's coming again, her back lifting off the mattress as she sobs out unintelligible babbling nonsense.

"That's it, sweet girl," he groans. "That's it. Just like that."

Kairi's lost her marbles.

She reaches down with her other hand when his hips are pulled back, and boldly wraps her hand around him. He freezes, cursing under his breath and turning his head away.

"Are you one hundred percent sure?" he bites out. "'Cuz I—shit."

Kairi's squeezing him now, partially out of curiosity and partially because she likes how undone he looks right now, his hair a mess and eyes lidded and lip swollen from him biting it. And frankly, she doesn't seem to be bothered by touching him. There's no panic. Nothing. Just the blissful cloud of nirvana he's taken her to, and the blood throbbing within both of their bodies.

"I'm sure," she says, her voice sounding like she's seconds away from losing it. "But I don't know what to do."

"Fuck," he moans. "Don't do anything. Just stay like that."

Kairi does, watching his face as he rocks his hips forward, thrusting slowly into the circle of her hand. His expression is so much gentler than he is, the way he looks when he's like this. His expression is faint, brows knit together and eyes closed. Mouth open to say sinful, desperate things.

"That's perfect. Squeeze harder. good. So, so good. God. Fuck."

"Are you gonna c-come?" Kairi asks, stumbling a little over the word because she's never used it in this context before. Her legs are burning from the stretch in her poor thighs.

"Ooh, fuck, you say it so sweetly." He whines again and says, "You're gonna make me come. Fuck. I'm—"

Sora groans, long and low, and comes. She feels him pulsing in her hand, emptying himself over her fingers and her core and pelvis. He gasps through it, and she finds herself fascinated by the entire situation.

But when he lifts his head to look at her, there's a strange glint in his eyes and this time the moonlight is spilling over them, and she sees it clearly.

They flash yellow.

And then his hand is holding her jaw, his lips against her as he kisses her and devours. He takes and takes, until she feels her mind languishing in an ocean of bliss. An ocean of him.

"And this," he says breathlessly as he grins and gets up, pulling his boxers back up, "is the awkward part."

"Huh?"

He jogs to the bathroom in his shirt and boxers and comes back with a towel. Kairi feels her cheeks flaming hotly as he cleans her pelvis, thighs, and hand up. There's no shyness or embarrassment on his face, though. To him, it's just a fact of life. He tosses the towel into the hamper that Kairi has near her bed and then goes to his discarded pajamas pants.

She sits up, watching him pulling his pajama pants back on. Should she tell him that she saw his eyes flash a different color? She isn't so sure. Not when his temper is so short when the darkness is mentioned. No, she thinks it's best if she doesn't say anything. He isn't angry or short-tempered right now, or anything. There's no danger, so she'll keep an eye on him and see if anything changes.

For now.

Sora comes to sit down on the edge of the bed, and Kairi sits cross-legged before him in her underwear and tee shirt. Kairi can't believe he's sitting there, and they've just done…quite a few naughty things. Some on her list, and some that surprised her. And now he's sitting there, staring at her like they haven't even kissed yet. It's funny.

They look into each other's eyes for a long moment before Kairi starts giggling. She giggles and giggles, until it's contagious and spreads to Sora. They both laugh until their smiles fade and Sora kisses her again. It's a sweet kiss that makes her think of sea salt ice cream and the palm tree where they shared the paopu fruit so many years ago.

He pulls back and holds her hand in his. "Were you okay with everything? Was there anything you didn't like or don't want to do again?"

Kairi can't help but smile at him. Even when struggling with the darkness, he's still the thoughtful, caring Sora she's always loved.

"I'm happy with everything we did," she says decisively. "Like I said earlier, it's just hands that I seem to struggle with."

He nods, then a troubled look crosses his face. "Kairi, earlier…earlier you said you felt like they ruined you."

"Oh…well, I don't want to lie." Kairi rubs her upper arm with her free hand. "I do feel that way. But I didn't and still don't want that to be what holds me back from the things I want."

"Kairi, you're not ruined," he says gently, squeezing her hand. "Ruined for who? Who would you even be ruined for?"

Kairi averts her eyes and mumbles, "You."

"Well, I still want you. I don't think you're ruined. I—look at me." She does, seeing tenderness in his eyes. "I don't think you're ruined. I think you're sad and hurting, and that you need time to get better. And for the record, when I look at you, I just see you. Kairi. Mine. That's all."

Butterflies dance in her stomach.

"Sora?"

"What?"

"If we…" She clears her throat against her nerves and keeps her gaze on the bed beneath her. "If we hadn't had that misunderstanding, would we be something right now?"

He's quiet before he pulls her hand and holds it against his chest. She can feel his heart pounding, rising to greet her touch.

"I think we would."

"Do you want to be something now?"

"Do you?"

Kairi nods. Sora takes her chin in hand and leans in to kiss her again. His kiss is soft. Barely there. But she feels it like a firm caress in her heart.

"Then we're something."

"Good," she says, and then she pokes him in the chest. "That means no more wild San Fransokyo nights."

"You mean, wild San Fransokyo nights without you?" Sora's grin is mischievous. "Because you can always go with us next time."

"I'll think about it."

"That works for me." He stops talking so a large yawn can stretch his mouth. "I think I should sneak back now. Last thing we need is Lea beheading me in the hallway."

Kairi laughs. "Yeah, I'm going to take a shower and then sleep."

"Hopefully I get to see you tomorrow before I leave on my next mission," he says, standing up. Then, he runs his knuckles over her cheekbone and gives her an affectionate smile. "If I don't, then I'll see you when I get back."

"Okay. Have a safe flight."

"Night, Kairi."

"Good night, Sora."

Later, soaking in the warm tub, she thinks that maybe the flash of yellow eyes was a bad sign.

this is so ridiculous lmao