the day the baby got a name
A few days after Ruby was rushed into surgery, she was transferred from the hospital in the Hamptons to a hospital in the city. The biopsies on the masses that had been removed from her abdomen were confirmed to be cancerous, but she was still too weak from the procedure to start treatment. After a few days without setbacks in her recovery, Ruby's oncologist signed off on allowing her to recuperate at home until she regained her strength. All was well...for about a week. Another scary night (this time without all of the blood, thank goodness) brought the Castles back to the emergency room and Ruby was admitted to the pediatric unit indefinitely for testing and observation.
Though Ruby had been used to spending time in the hospital alone from her first stint with cancer, Rick and Kate did all they could to make sure at least one of them was with her at all times. Kate took family medical leave that allowed her to work only in an administrative capacity and Rick pushed back the deadlines for his next book so he didn't have to close himself off from his family to focus on writing as he sometimes did. Ruby also had an array of visitors to keep her company, and if Martha was there, she was also thoroughly entertained. Her parents also recognized that as a budding teenager, they needed to respect Ruby's privacy and space, too, but that was a balance they were still trying to figure out. The first few nights that Ruby was admitted, Rick had stayed over so that she wasn't alone, but when she learned that the less-than-luxurious hospital sleeping cots caused Rick to snore, she asked if maybe Kate could stay over instead. Not a snorer, Kate made for a better roommate, unless the baby had other ideas. For the most part, Kate's morning sickness was managed with the anti-nausea medication and the fact that she was nearly the end of the first trimester, but still, that was only for the most part.
It was still pretty dark out when Kate was awakened by an unrelenting wave of nausea. As much as she tried to will it away, she knew that she wouldn't be able to. Not wanting to wake Ruby, she tiptoed as quietly as she could to the bathroom and closed herself inside. By the time she was feeling better and cleaned herself up, it felt like a lot of time had passed, but realistically, it was probably only about ten or fifteen minutes. However, when she exited the bathroom, sunrise was casting a bit of light into the room, which allowed Kate to see that Ruby was awake.
"Hey," Kate whispers with a smile. "Did I wake you?"
"No," Ruby lies. "The nurse came for a vitals check a few minutes ago." She doubles down as Kate sits down in the chair next to her bed. "I thought you and spawn had negotiated peace terms."
"Me and..?" Kate laughs. "Did you just call the baby 'spawn'?"
"Well, am I wrong?" Ruby chuckles.
"No, but maybe let's not call it that," Kate shrugs. "Makes me feel like I'm the host for an alien."
"I don't know, I think spawn is a good word," Ruby says. "It's accurate and ominous."
"Okay, I think we've gotta cut down on your reading time, you're getting too smart," Kate rolls her eyes.
"You sound like Rick," Ruby laughs.
"Ouch," Kate says as she crinkles her nose. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay," Ruby says."What about fetus?"
"What about fetus?" Kate asks.
"That's at least scientific sounding," Ruby shrugs.
"You can call the baby whatever you want," Kate gives in. "I have an appointment later today and I'll have an ultrasound picture to show you."
"Oh, really!?" Ruby cheers. "That's so exciting. Will it look like a blob like the first one?"
"No, no, I think this time it's gonna actually look like a baby," Kate laughs. "Did you sleep okay? You look a little tired still."
"I slept pretty good," Ruby yawns. "But yeah, I am still tired."
"Okay, well, how about Rick and I go pick up some breakfast and we'll bring something back for you in a little bit so you have some time alone to rest?" Kate suggest.
"Yeah, that sounds nice," Ruby yawns again as she turns back onto her side to sleep.
"Kate, we'll get the results back tomorrow," Rick says. "It's no use worrying yourself sick until we know what we're dealing with. Even then, it's not good for you."
"You don't think I don't already know that?" Kate bites back. "I can't help it, Rick."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, honey. I don't want to make it worse," Rick says.
"Then just stop talking," Kate scoffs. Realizing how unnecessarily harsh she sounds, she immediately switches course. "Sorry."
They both take a deep breath as they sit in two chairs in the waiting room of the ultrasound imaging lab. An hour before Kate's appointment, Ruby's oncologist announced that he wanted Ruby to get another PET scan to see if and where Ruby's cancer has spread so that they can start to form a treatment plan. That was a good thing, he insisted, because it meant that Ruby was getting stronger, strong enough to potentially start radiation or chemotherapy, or both. Although the scan only lasts about half an hour, the results of the scan take up to 24-hours to receive from the radiologist. The waiting was what was making Kate sick with worry. She knew that worrying didn't make the results come back faster. In fact, the stress of worrying was bad not just for her, but for the fetus she was carrying, too. The thought of harming her little miracle worried her even more. Thus, a vicious cycle.
The pre-natal appointment was a good distraction, though. It temporarily got her mind off of Ruby's cancer as she had to focus on answering the nurse's questions, listening to the tech's instructions, and the overwhelming joy of being able to see her baby. It was maybe even more joyous getting to see her husband's reaction to hearing the heartbeat and staring at the screen, enamored as the image of the little one came into focus.
"Okay, the doctor will be in shortly," says the tech after allowing sufficient time for the couple to enjoy the blissful moments with their baby.
"They look good," Rick smiles after the tech leaves them along with the image on the screen. "Strong."
"Yeah, that heartbeat was...loud," Kate says. "Good, loud."
"Yeah," Rick says as he kisses his wife on her forehead. "I love you, you know?"
"Oh, you do?" Kate winks. "What do you know, I love you, too." She giggles with abandon, enjoying the intimate time with Rick that was severely lacking at the moment.
After a few minutes, Kate's OB entered the room and echoed the sentiment that the heartbeat was a good loud. That made the parents smile widely. Until there was a "however".
"I'm a little concerned about the scar tissue from your shooting a few years ago," says the doctor. "The amniotic sac is attached to the uterine lining pretty close to this scar...here." The doctor points to the zoomed out image of Kate's uterus, where a shadow denotes the worrisome scar. "As the baby continues to grow in the next weeks, it could become problematic for the baby's development."
"Oh...okay," Kate sighs with worry, all of the negative thoughts prior to the appointment rushing back.
"Is there anything we can do?" Rick asks.
"I don't like to say this but, it could resolve on its own, or it won't, but we won't know until we know," the doctor says. "I know that is not helpful, but I want to reiterate the importance of getting lots of rest, eating a proper diet, all the things you've been doing."
"Hmm," Rick hums under his breath, glancing over at Kate.
"Uh, truthfully, Dr. Lauer, I haven't been getting much rest lately," Kate sighs, her candor catching Rick a bit off guard. "Our twelve year old's cancer is back and it's obviously been...stressful."
"I am really sorry to hear that," says the doctor. "I know that you already know this, so I'll just remind you that regardless of whether you're pregnant or not, it's important to take care of yourself. I know that you are doing the best you can."
Hearing the doctor say that immediately sent Kate to unmitigated tears. Watching Kate's breakdown brought tears to Rick's eyes, too, knowing how rarely his wife allowed herself to show such raw emotion. What was that emotion, though? Kate couldn't pinpoint it. Was she sad? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Tired? Hopeful? Hopeless? Guilt-ridden? Anxious? Happy?
Yes.
Dr. Lauer handed over a box of tissues with a comforting smile. "I am going to send over the sonogram images to the front desk and they will print off a few copies for you. Your baby is healthy and the heartbeat is strong, which is an excellent sign. I would like to see you again in four weeks, but if you need to see me sooner, or if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call, okay?"
After composing herself, Kate nods and flashes her doctor a smile. Rick squeezes her hand and she shrugs the shoulder that's touching his to reciprocate.
As they pick up their pictures and schedule the follow-up, Kate smiles as she looks at the black and white and grey paper.
"Ruby will be happy that it actually looks like a baby this time."
As the couple made their way from one department of the hospital to another, they discussed, briefly, what Dr. Lauer had told them.
"I am going to say something and I want you to consider it," Rick says. "You can be mad at me after, if that's how you feel, but I want you to consider it."
"I should stop sleeping at the hospital every night," Kate sighs, as if reading Rick's mind.
"Yeah."
"I'll...we'll talk to Ruby about it?" Kate asks. "I just don't want her to be alone."
"She will understand," Rick insists. "Plus we can make up for it by never leaving her alone to the point she's annoyed with us during the day."
"Good," Kate smiles. "So, maybe we bring it up to her tonight? I don't know, I don't want her stressed out while we're waiting for her scan results."
"I think tonight is best, and if she wants you to stay tonight, you can," Rick suggests.
"Okay, yeah, I agree."
"Hey, kiddo," Rick says as he and Kate enter Ruby's hospital room. The girl was out of bed and sitting in the chair in the corner, reading. "How'd your scan go?"
"Fine," Ruby shrugs. She yawns as she sets the book down on the side table. "How'd your scan go?"
Kate smiles and holds out the stack of sonograms pictures. Ruby grabs them with a grin as her parents pull chairs over to her. "Told ya it would look like a baby."
"It does look like a baby," Ruby agrees. "Actually, it kind of looks like a peanut." She holds the image so that it's upside and says, "see? Peanut."
"See, I think that's a great nickname for your sibling," Kate says. "A little more wholesome than spawn or fetus."
"Hmm, I don't know," Ruby shrugs. "Maybe I'll call it legume. More original but more generic at the same time."
Kate rolls her eyes and Rick laughs.
"No, wait," Ruby says. She turns the picture right side up again and traces a shape around the baby. "It's not a peanut, it's a bean."
"I can see that," Rick agrees.
"That's what I'm going to call them. Bean."
Kate smiles and says,"perfect."
Later that evening, Rick had gone to pick up a takeout pizza from his favorite spot in the city. Although Kate and Ruby told him they were fine just ordering a pizza from the shop a few blocks from the hospital, Rick insisted on trekking across town for the pie. That left Kate and Ruby alone for well over an hour, so they decided to watch a movie. Kate pulled up Netflix and Ruby picked what she wanted to watch as Kate climbed into bed next to her daughter. Though the bed wasn't very spacious, they both fit comfortably enough and each found relaxing positions to see the screen.
"Kate, Kate..." Ruby whispers in the distance. "Mom!" Kate's eyelids fly open as she feels Ruby gently shaking her awake.
"Whoa, I'm sorry," Kate says when she realizes she'd migrated into Ruby's personal space in her sleep. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Dad's gonna be back with the pizza soon, so I thought I should probably wake you," Ruby explains.
"How long was I out?" Kate yawns as she sits up.
"Half hour maybe?" Ruby shrugs.
"Oh, geez," Kate sighs. "I'm sorry, Rubes."
"Kate, um, don't take this the wrong way but...I think maybe it would be better if you just slept at home at night," Ruby says.
"Actually, I was going to ask you what you thought about me doing just that," Kate admits. "I don't want you to be alone. I know how hard it is to sleep in the hospital."
"Honestly, I spent a lot of time sleeping in the hospital last time, so I'm not too bothered by it this time," Ruby says. "I do really appreciate you and Rick being here with me, but just during the day is plenty."
"You sure? I think your dad plans on being even more annoying to make up for it," Kate laughs.
"He can get more annoying?" Ruby jokes.
"Oh, believe me, he can," Kate says as she grabs Ruby's hand.
"I really do appreciate that you spend the night here for me," Ruby tells her. "But I know you don't sleep well and Bean needs you to be well-rested."
"Ruby, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, okay?" Kate says. "Nothing."
"I know," Ruby smiles. "Wait, even shave your head?"
"I have a cute head shape so I think I'd rock a bald head, just like you do."
"Actually, you should shave Rick's head," Ruby laughs.
"You are so goofy," Kate chuckles as she shakes her head. "But if you do ever change your mind and want me to sleep over, I'm happy to do it. How are you feeling about tomorrow?"
"I'm a little nervous," Ruby admits. "But at least I kind of know what to expect, so it'll be okay."
"It will, it will be okay," Kate assures her.
Just then, Rick knocks on the door and walks in with two boxes and cheers, "Who wants pizza!?"