What Is Right

"Your husband is an idiot." Miles nodded.

"I have no idea why I even told you this." Jude shook her head, walking around her office to go behind her desk, feeling embarrassed for spewing her personal troubles to a man she'd only met for a couple of months.

Although, during those couple of months, she'd spent almost every day at work speaking with him, sitting at lunch with him, settling into a routine where they always had a chat. Weekends were beginning to feel strange when she wouldn't see him. And although she couldn't admit it, not even to herself, she begged for Monday morning to come fast so she could see him and talk to him.

"Don't sweat it." Miles said, walking over to her desk, watching her tidy around the desk which was already immaculate and organised.

"No, I shouldn't be telling you my personal business. I shouldn't be putting that on anyone." Jude shook her head, "Well, apart from my sisters." She nodded.

"Jude, it's fine. It's good to talk and get things off your chest, you know." He reminded her.

"Yeah." Jude agreed, "Although now I feel like you're going to think I'm an idiot." She nodded, "Weak."

"I don't think that. I think your husband is an idiot." Miles nodded.

"You don't know my husband." Jude shook her head, still feeling protective over Sean. She knew she always would be.

"I… don't really wanna know someone who would do that to his wife. Mother of his kids." Miles shook his head, "I don't think your weak, Jude. If you love him and your happy, that's what counts. I guess it's more a reflection on your nature, that you can forgive him and move on." He nodded.

"I have… moved on from it." Jude nodded to herself, although she didn't feel entirely sure. When she was Miles, she definitely didn't feel sure.

"Good." Miles nodded.

"He is great." Jude said, "I know the type of guy you're probably thinking about in your head. You're probably thinking he's cheating on me all the time and I'm just too stupid to realise-"

"I'm not thinking that." Miles shook his head.

"No one knows me like Sean. And no one ever will." Jude nodded. At least that she knew she was certain of.

"That's your choice. You could let someone in. Let them see you how you let him see you." Miles shrugged.

"You don't understand." Jude shook her head, looking down as Miles watched her. He already felt like he could read her. Just by getting to know her over the weeks, spending so much at work, he felt pretty in tune with how she thought and who she was as a person.

"Have you stayed with him because you're afraid of being with someone else?" Miles shook his head as Jude scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"No." She rolled her eyes, looking up at him, "Yes." She nodded.

"What's there to be afraid of?" Miles questioned, "I mean, I don't think-"

"I was raped." Jude said, silencing him immediately as she watched his face drop a little. The silence was there for some time before Jude decided to speak, "Most people don't really know what to say to that so… don't worry." She nodded.

"When?" Miles asked quietly.

"Thirteen years ago this Christmas." Jude said, "I was drugged at a party. It was my sister's ex-boyfriend. He'd just got out of prison for beating her up and kidnapping her." She nodded, "And the man he was staying with also raped me. I found that out later."

"Jesus." Miles said. It was all he could manage.

"Yeah." Jude nodded.

"They're in prison?" Miles nodded hopefully.

"One is. My sister's ex, he died." Jude said, keeping it brief, starting to feel her chest tighten as she realised she was oversharing.

"That's good." Miles nodded, "I mean… no, it's not good." He said quickly, "But that they can't hurt anyone else."

"Yeah, it is good." Jude nodded.

"I'm really sorry." He shook his head.

"I don't know if I would be here if it wasn't for Sean." Jude said, "He's the main reason I came out the other end of it all."

"I understand." Miles nodded, "But… that doesn't mean you're in debt to him. You know that, right?" He asked as Jude looked at him, not saying anything, "And if he's a good man which… if you say he is then I'll believe you… if he's a good man, there's no way he's gonna hold that over you. You're holding it over yourself."

"It's just easier to be with him. I wouldn't wanna hurt the girls." Jude nodded, "And I do love him. I'll always love him."

"The same way you loved him before he cheated?" Miles asked as she looked at him, "Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's right."

"You spend way too much time editing books." Jude said as he nodded.

"I do." He agreed with a smile.

"Sorry for oversharing. You probably think I'm pathetic." She placed her hand on her forehead.

"I don't think you're pathetic. Not at all." He said.

"Ok, that's it. Enough with the deep looking conversations. What are you two plotting?" Cassie asked, stepping outside into the back yard where Thea and Jude where sitting.

"What?" Thea shook her head, lighting a cigarette.

"You two. You've been doing this all night. Sneaking off into corners and chatting." Cassie said.

"We're talking about how annoying you are." Thea nodded as Cassie folded her arms unhappily.

"Are you guys talking about me?" She frowned, slightly drunk.

"No, we're not talking about you, Cassie." Jude laughed a little.

"Well good." Cassie stomped over to them, sitting down on the bench between them, "So what are you talking about?" She asked, looking back and forth between them.

Thea glanced over at Jude, seeking her approval to tell Cassie what was going on. Jude nodded, trusting Cassie just as she trusted Thea.

"Ok." Thea said, "Jude's met someone else." She said as Cassie turned to Jude.

"A man?" Cassie asked.

"Yeah." Jude nodded.

"And she thinks she's in love with him." Thea said as Cassie raised her eyebrows.

"Who? When? I mean…" Cassie paused, "Does Sean know? Have you been sleeping with this guy?"

"Come up for air." Thea nudged her.

"Sorry." Cassie apologised, "Sorry, I'm just… I'm surprised. I thought… well you and Sean had been doing good. I thought."

"We have." Jude nodded to her, "And I love Sean. That's why this is all just a mess." She sighed, "His name is Miles. I met him at my new job. I've not slept with him but we have kissed. And I've just about shared everything there is to know about me with him." She rolled her eyes, "It's never been that way with anyone other than Sean so it's just… I don't know." Jude sighed, rubbing her forehead stressfully.

"She told dad earlier." Thea said.

"What did he say?" Cassie wondered.

"The same as what you guys would probably say… that he just wants me to be happy." Jude said.

"Well we do." Cassie said, "And this man… Miles? He makes you happy?"

"Yeah." Jude nodded.

"And he feels the same way about you?" Cassie asked.

"Yeah." Jude nodded.

"Well this is quite a state of affairs." Cassie leaned back on the bench, "What are you going to do then?" She sat back up straight.

"I have to talk to Sean, but I just… I don't want to hurt him. I really don't." Jude sighed, "And I… I really do think I have forgiven him for cheating on me. This isn't me getting back at him. I fear that's what he's going to think." She shook her head.

"Maybe he senses that something is going on." Thea said, "He's a cop. He knows how to read people and sniff people out. They're all the same."

"Excuse you." Cassie turned to Thea.

"I'm just saying." Thea said, "Maybe he suspects that something is going on and he's waiting on you coming to him about it."

"Maybe." Jude said.

"You can't tell any more people about Miles. You have to talk to Sean. Or else everyone is gonna end up knowing and Sean will hear it from someone else." Thea said.

"Jude." Cassie said, "You don't have to be afraid." She took her sister's hand as Jude looked at her, "Maybe you don't love Sean the way you used to before but… doesn't mean you don't love him at all. He's the girls dad. He'll always be there. And if he loves you, he'll want you to be happy. Even if he can't say it out loud."

"Mom." James walked outside from the house.

"Yeah?" Thea looked over, "What's wrong?"

"Are you sure I can't have a sip of beer?" James asked.

"Oh honey, I'm sure." Thea nodded.

"It's just a sip." James shrugged, "Uncle Theo said he'd give me a sip but I had to ask you-"

"No. Stop asking." Thea shook her head as Jude and Cassie chuckled a little, "You're only thirteen years old. And beer is disgusting."

"Let him have a sip." Cassie scoffed.

"No." Thea looked at her seriously.

"Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean I'll be one." James shook his head as Thea looked over at him whilst Jude and Cassie went silent.

"Go back into the house. Now." Thea said angrily, putting her cigarette out and looking away from James, "We'll talk about this tomorrow." She warned as James left the yard, sensing his mother's quiet anger, not wanting anything to do with it.

"Cheeky little man, isn't he?" Jude looked at Thea wearily.

"Not the first time he's come away with something like that. Let's just say I think he's well aware of his mother's imperfections by now." Thea shook her head.

"No. He's just a kid, going through puberty, with raging hormones and the need to hate on everyone around him." Jude said, "I mean… we've all been thirteen years old, right?"

"Oh, thirteen year old me was smoking, drinking and having sex." Thea nodded.

"I was… playing soccer." Cassie mumbled as Thea and Jude looked at her in the middle, laughing a little as Cassie smiled.

"He's just a kid mad at the world about everything. We know what that's like." Jude nodded.

"Still doesn't feel good." Thea said.

"No, but he doesn't mean it." Cassie said, "And I apologise on behalf of uncle Theo for encouraging such behaviour. He's a very silly man."

"Very." Thea agreed.

"I'm going to tell him tonight. When we get home." Jude announced as they turned their attention to her, "I'll tell him."