Snapping
"You brought weed with you?" Theo shook his head, walking into his father's living room with three beers, looking over at Matthew who sat rolling up a joint.
"How'd you get that through the airport?" Cassie shook her head, taking a beer from Theo and twisting it open.
"I didn't. I got it here." Matthew said, "Figured we might need it."
"We don't need anything. That's all you." Theo shook his head, sitting down on the chair tiredly.
"We?" Matthew turned to Cassie beside him who turned to Theo with confliction, "He ain't your daddy. You want one or not?" He asked Cassie.
"Knock yourself out." Theo nodded to Cassie, taking a swig of his beer, rubbing his forehead as Cassie turned to Matthew.
"Sure." Cassie nodded to Matthew.
"Who did you get it from?" Theo asked, "You ain't been here since you were sixteen and you still managed to find a pot guy?"
"This place hasn't changed." Matthew said, "There's always a corner you can find whatever you like on."
"Those corners are where people end up murdered." Theo shook his head.
"It's the risk you gotta take." Matthew shrugged as Theo rolled his eyes.
"How do you feel being here? After so long?" Cassie asked him.
"It is weird." Matthew nodded, "I never thought I'd be back, you know? I just hate the place." He shook his head.
"Do you hate the place or do you hate that your father never paid any attention to you here?" She asked as Matthew turned to her.
"I love you, but we don't need to do therapy. That's what this is for." He nodded to the joints he was rolling.
"That's not entirely healthy." Cassie stated the obvious.
"Think I'm too late. He's… well, he's pretty much gone, isn't he?" He looked over at Theo.
Raul had just slept the entire time Matthew was there. He'd realised it may have been too late to look into his father's eyes and tell him it was ok. That he wasn't mad with him.
"He's like that at night. He's more likely to wake in the morning, and talk a little. Although, it's been getting less and less each day." Theo nodded.
"I'm sorry I've left you to deal with this on your own." Matthew shook his head, "I just didn't think I could do it."
"I've not been on my own. And… I understood your reasons." Theo nodded, "You're here now. I appreciate it." He said as Matthew nodded to him.
"Alright, ladies first." Matthew handed the joint to Cassie.
"Have you ever even smoked a joint before?" Theo asked Cassie.
"Of course I have." Cassie scoffed, "Once." She mumbled.
"And how'd it go?" He asked.
"I threw up everywhere." Cassie admitted as Theo shook his head.
"Don't throw up on Kelise's couch." Theo scoffed as Cassie took the joint between her fingers and lit up.
"He smoked pot every day, you know." Matthew pointed to Theo as Cassie inhaled, coughing a little.
"Every day?" Cassie coughed, looking at Theo.
"When I was a kid, yeah." Theo nodded, "Sixteen… stopped when I was twenty, twenty-one." He said as Cassie waved her hand around the air in a flapping manner, "Are you alright?" Theo asked.
"Fine." Cassie coughed a little whilst Matthew lit his own up and leaned back on the couch.
"You want some help?" Theo asked Cassie, standing up and sitting down beside her.
"You were a pothead." Cassie chuckled a little, suddenly feeling a little woozy.
"Ok, take a draw and hold it for a second." Theo told her as she did what he said, "Now inhale, then exhale slowly." He said as Cassie did just that, not coughing as much this time.
"I'm telling Jill." Cassie smiled deviously.
"Jill smokes pot every weekend with her sisters." Matthew said, referring to their mother.
"She does?" Cassie questioned with surprise, turning to Theo who laughed a little and nodded, "Scandalous." She nodded, taking another puff of the joint.
"I hope I get a heart attack when I die." Matthew nodded whilst Cassie gave her joint to Theo who got in on the action, sitting back on the couch with her.
"Weird thing to say." Theo nodded, "Fuck, I forgot how good this was." He groaned.
"It's not a weird thing to say. I don't wanna be dying for months. Family around my bed weeping and mourning. Getting fed through tubes." He shook his head, "That's no way to go. Heart attack, quick and easy. Gone in seconds."
"He's got a point." Cassie agreed.
"Or getting shot." Matthew added, "Quick and easy." He nodded as Theo turned to him.
"You're kidding me, right?" He said.
"Shot in the chest or the head, obviously." Matthew said.
"Oh, obviously." Theo shook his head sarcastically.
"Ok, maybe let's change the topic from death." Cassie suggested, "How long are you staying for?" Cassie turned to Matthew, sitting in between he and Theo.
"Until… well… whenever he-"
"Yeah." Theo understood, "He… planned all his funeral apparently. When he was still capable to do so. It's all arranged and paid for." He said as Matthew nodded.
"You see what I mean? No one should be planning their own funeral, knowing death is around the corner." Matthew shook his head, "Ain't right."
"Gonna be a big funeral." Theo nodded.
"Well, dad knew everybody." Matthew said, silence filling the living room, "Was friendlier to his neighbourhood than he was to his own sons." He nodded.
"Let's not get into it." Theo suggested as Cassie leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah… yeah, that's not why I'm here." Matthew agreed.
"How are my babies?" Cassie asked him.
"They're both fine." Matthew nodded to her. He and his girlfriend had picked the kids up from AJ and Punk's one night to give them a break, having Chase and Lena for the day and night.
"He took Chase to a Cubs game." Theo told Cassie, "And Lilian took Lena shopping."
"Yeah and now she looks like she wants a baby." Matthew scoffed.
"Well can you blame her? My babies are the sweetest." Cassie smiled happily as Theo kissed her head.
"You guys ever worry?" Matthew asked, taking another puff.
"About our kids?" Theo asked.
"About Lena." Matthew said, "When she grows up… what she might ask… if she wants to find her real mom and dad-"
"We're her mom and dad." Theo turned to Matthew angrily whilst Cassie said nothing.
"You know what I mean." Matthew said.
"No, I don't." Theo sat up defensively, unwrapping his arm around from Cassie and putting the joint on the ash tray on the coffee table.
"Theo, man." Matthew groaned, rubbing his forehead, "It's not a valid question for me to ask?"
"No, it fucking isn't." Theo spat.
"Calm down." Cassie nodded to Theo, "I think we're all just tired and… high." She realised, shaking her head tiredly.
"So you guys don't plan on telling her?" Matthew asked.
"We do." Cassie turned to him, "When she's old enough."
"And then what?" Matthew asked.
"What do you mean then what?" Theo shook his head, "We're not her fucking babysitters until she can go flee the nest-"
"I know that." Matthew said.
"Well stop suggesting that's what's going to happen." Theo stood up.
"I'm not. I just wanted to know how you guys were going to approach it." Matthew said.
"I'm going to bed." Theo shook his head, leaving the living room whilst Cassie sat with Matthew.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you guys." Matthew shook his head.
"I think we're all just a bit tired. And I think he's extra tired." Cassie nodded, "He's barely been sleeping." She said. She knew it was rare for Theo and his brother to fight, she put it down to the situation they were in. It was definitely taking its toll.
"That was fucking harder than I thought it'd be." Matthew nodded, "Seeing him. Dad." He said as Cassie nodded.
"It's horrible." Cassie nodded honestly, "But I know Theo is really glad you're here. And… I reckon, you'll thank yourself in the future that you were here."
"Yeah." Matthew sighed.
"I'm gonna go to bed. You ok here?" Cassie asked, rubbing his back.
"Yeah, you go." Matthew nodded, "And I am sorry. I didn't mean to… I wasn't saying that Lena isn't-"
"I know." Cassie nodded, "Try and sleep." She told him, standing up and heading out of the living room, carrying her tired legs up the stairs and into the guest bedroom where they had been staying.
Kelise had insisted they stay in the house, and it was much easier so they could help her and be there for Raul around the clock.
Cassie made her way into the room, finding Theo stripping out of his clothes by the bed.
"You alright?" Cassie asked him.
"He's a fucking idiot." Theo nodded.
"Is this why you stopped smoking pot?" She wondered.
"Huh?" He looked over at her.
"I know Matthew touched on a sensitive subject but… don't you think you came off a little… aggressive?" She asked.
"No, I don't." Theo said, "You tell people you adopted your kid and the first thing they wanna know is how we feel when they're gonna grow up and set out to find their real parents." Theo said, pulling the bed sheets back, "Real parents" He scoffed.
"Babe, I think he was just curious. He's your brother. He wasn't meaning anything wrong by it." Cassie said.
"Yeah, whatever." Theo shook his head.
"Theo." She said.
"What?" He looked at her.
"You're tired. This is catching up with you. You're not sleeping." She pointed out, "Tomorrow is a new day. You and Matt will be fine. Yeah?" She assured him as he just nodded, getting into bed, "You need each other right now." She reminded him.
"Ok, Cassie." Theo nodded with frustration as Cassie scoffed, stripping out of her clothes, getting into her pjs and climbing into bed beside him.
"Are you alright?" She sighed.
"Yeah, just try not to bump my side." He told her, turning away with his back to her as Cassie shook her head.
"Ok, well goodnight then." She mumbled, turning her back to him also, sighing to herself as she massaged the bridge of her nose.
Five minutes past and she knew he wasn't asleep. She could tell by his breathing and his shuffling legs under the covers.
She turned herself around to face his back, shuffling closer to him, pressing a kiss on the back of his shoulder, wrapping an arm around him gently, feeling his body relax a little as he took a hold of her hand.
"I love you." She said quietly.
"I love you too." He replied.
"Slow down. Please." Thea gasped, trying to keep up with her sister as they jogged through one of the local parks in Chicago, "In fact, just stop." She shook her head.
"We've been running for… six minutes." Jude looked at her watch.
"Yeah, well I'm not a runner." Thea said as Jude slowed down to a walk, allowing Thea to catch her breath as she placed her hands on her hips, "You now… sweating just isn't worth it unless it's for sex." She shook her head as Jude laughed.
"You gotta build it up." Jude said, "I could barely run for a minute the first time I ever ran. You have to start somewhere. Key is, don't give up." She nodded.
"Well, I've gave up and I'm fine with it." Thea nodded, "Coffee van." She pointed like a child to the take-away coffee van ahead of them.
They made their way over, ordering coffees to go and sitting down on a bench.
"It's the trying that counts, right?" Thea nodded, turning to Jude.
"Absolutely." Jude raised her coffee, knocking it off Thea's.
"You got the girls tonight?" Thea asked, sitting back on the bench, finally getting her breath back as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah, Sean is dropping them off at dinner time." Jude nodded.
"How is it going? With Sean?" Thea asked.
"It's… civil, I guess." Jude said, "He kinda just nods and shakes his head. I'm not expecting anything more from him, honestly. I know he's hurting." She nodded, "And there's a lot that goes into filing for a divorce. It's a pretty lengthy process." She sighed.
"Well, you know if you need anything I'm here." Thea nodded.
"I know that." Jude assured her, "The good news is, my illustrations are really coming along. Laura, the writer of the book, she had a drop-in meeting with me yesterday morning and she's loving it all so far."
"That's good." Thea smiled, "You know when it's gonna be published yet?"
"Some time in Summer. No real date has been confirmed, though." Jude shook her head.
"How'd the coffee go with Miles?" Thea asked, "And when do I get to meet him?"
"It was good. We had a good conversation. Kinda established where we're both at." Jude nodded, "He knows that I'm focused on my kids and working things out with Sean. But… he also knows that I'm not forgetting he exists, and that maybe… in the future, we could spend some time together." Jude shrugged modestly, "And you're not meeting him any time soon." She said quickly.
"At least you know he's not just interested in fucking you." Thea nodded positively.
"It is good to know that." Jude scoffed, "Selfishly, I'd like to see more of him sooner, like… right now. But working things out with Sean is important. The most important." Jude nodded.
"You really wanna sleep with this guy, don't you?" Thea smiled, amused as Jude just rolled her eyes, "Don't be modest."
"Of course I do." Jude shook her head, "It's just… well, ever since Sean cheated… the sex was fine, but I guess it just never felt right. Sometimes in the middle I would start thinking about him with that other woman and…" She shook her head, "It just wasn't like it was before."
"You don't have to be ashamed to admit that." Thea nodded, "Here's a question." She crossed her leg over the other.
"Go on." Jude groaned with dread.
"Miles… never been married? Never had kids?" Thea nodded.
"Yeah?" Jude waited.
"You told me not too long ago that you didn't want any more kids." Thea said.
"I don't." Jude said.
"I would mention that to him." Thea suggested.
"We've not even went on a date yet, Thea." Jude scoffed.
"I just think it would be good to mention." Thea nodded, "Another question." She continued.
"It's too early in the morning for this." Jude groaned.
"Does he know about our dysfunctional family? I mean, there's a lot to unpack there." Thea nodded.
"You know, I never really went into much detail about our parents' being drug dealers, our dad being put in prison for years, our mother's family being literally psychotic, you being…" She paused, turning to Thea who raised a brow.
"What?" Thea waited unhappily.
"If our life was a TV show, you would take up a whole season, let's put it that way." Jude nodded.
"When you do get into it with him, start off with Cassie. She's kept pretty well together. She paints a nice picture." Thea nodded.
"Noted." Jude said.
"But he knows about… the rape?" Thea asked.
"Yeah." Jude nodded, "I just felt safe enough to tell him. Like he'd never judge me. And I think he knew it meant a big deal for me to tell him." She said.
"Well of course, it's not something you go about telling everyone." Thea said.
"Anyway, how is your gang? Everything going alright with Sofia?" Jude asked.
"Yeah, for the most part." Thea nodded, "She's been seeing an eye specialist. They're recommending a specific type of glasses for her. To protect her eyes more than anything. Cause although she can't see, it's not darkness. It's actually more brightness with like… silhouettes of things around her." She said, "So the glasses are to tone it down a little, prevent headaches and stuff." She said as Jude nodded.
"And how is she getting on at her school?" Jude asked.
"Pretty good. Her teacher says she's the smartest in her class so… that's good to hear." Thea nodded proudly, "A lot of the kids in her class have been born with their disabilities, Sofia has a bit of a more solid foundation in that respect, I guess." She said.
"Well she's a bright kid." Jude nodded, "And the other two?"
"Oh, they're fine. Sam had Dominic tie a piece of string around her tooth that was slack, and pull it off last night." Thea nodded, "James is a little shit but… he's fine." Thea said.
"I can't believe he's gonna be fourteen soon." Jude shook her head, "That's crazy."
"I know. I feel ancient." Thea nodded, "He's a good kid, though."
"He is." Jude agreed.
"So you'll see Sean tonight?" Thea asked.
"Yeah, when he drops the girls off." Jude nodded, "We still haven't really worked out a routine with them yet. It's probably something we need to sit down and discuss."
"Yeah, it'll come." Thea said, "Just gotta get used to being apart first."
"Yeah, I know." Jude nodded.
"If it isn't obvious, I will not be running again." Thea let her know.
"It's pretty obvious." Jude assured her.