"I know my focus probably needs to be elsewhere, but I just can't stop thinking about it. It's driving me crazy, even though it wouldn't change anything if Chris is Clara's son."

Nicholas was on the back porch with Samuel as their wives socialized inside the Randle house, what his friend was saying making him recall the small amount of information Clara had given him about her husband and child. "I have no idea where they even lived or anything either. I know Clara's last name was Phillips, but that's it. She never said much, and I had no reason to press for details at the time. Especially when talking about Christopher and Nathan seemed painful for her. Of course, I now know that's because she had something to hide about herself."

Samuel remembered how important it had ended up being for Steve to have a conversation with Grace once they knew she had answers to some of the questions he held in his heart, uncertain whether that could also be the case this time around. "Emily has mentioned that Carrie's dad's name is Nathan too. She's also talked about how Nora isn't her actual grandmother, only Chris'."

"So Carrie and Chris are half-siblings?"

"It sounds that way. I think Carrie's mom's name is Cindy. I've seen her before, and she's too young to be Chris' mother."

"That means, if you're right, then Nora would probably be Clara's mom. It's crazy to think she could've moved in just a few blocks from you."

"No crazier than Clara showing up on my sister-in-law's doorstep after she left your house. Or the two of us meeting in an empty church years later."

"True. But this seems even bigger to me. For Steve, it was a huge deal to be able to hear what Grace had to say. As much as finding out what actually happened to Clara hurt him, I know it ultimately helped with his healing. But if Chris is her Christopher, it would mean Steve's not alone in what he went through. That is, if we're right about her also abusing her own son."

"That would be significant, to say the least. But, even if he is her son, I can't imagine broaching the subject with him. Which is, in fact, the very thing I asked Emily not to do."

Nicholas watched Samuel, the expression on his face telling him the preacher was deep in thought as he attempted to find a way to the truth. "So what are you thinking about doing then? I know you can't just let this go. You're too stuck on the idea already."

"I am. More so than I'd like to be." Samuel grappled with the little bit he knew, thinking of Steve as he realized that any sort of confirmation had the potential to put both of them in a difficult position. "But, as far as figuring out what to do next, I actually don't think it's my choice to make."

"Well, hello there, my lovely lady. How has your day been? I brought you something sweet."

Mallory had just come home after a day at the salon when Soda greeted her with a box of donuts in hand. "Oh, I hope you brought me a creme-filled chocolate one." She then felt his lips on hers as he initiated a kiss. She readily reciprocated, knowing that Soda was hungering for more as his hands slid underneath her shirt. Only the thought that she really needed to shower made Mallory break the kiss. "Mmm. It seems you brought two sweet things along for me."

Soda wiggled his eyebrows as he grinned. "Oh, more like three. Later on, you'll get a taste."

"You're lucky I still love you even when the crude part of your sense of humor makes an appearance." Mallory took a donut and a napkin from the box as she headed toward her bathroom. "I need to get cleaned up. We'll do something after I shower."

"Don't you want some company in there?"

"Nice try. But no." Mallory entered the hallway, turning on the shower before she went back to see Soda with a disappointed look on his face as he got a donut for himself. "But if you can wait patiently, I'm sure you'll be in for a mind-blowing reward."

"Holy moly, I didn't even think of that. I was so focused on talking Soda through his reaction to the conversation with Emily that my head never got any further."

Samuel had still been at the Randle house when Steve showed up, sending his wife and kids home ahead of him as he seized the chance to talk with his younger friend on the back porch. "I'm sure you were too occupied to think of anything else. It didn't really click with me until I was looking at Chris' name that's listed as 'Christopher' on my schedule. But I don't want to pursue anything else unless it's okay with you. Because if it turns out that Chris actually is-"

Steve interrupted Samuel, uncomfortable with the idea of Chris being approached about his past. "Hold on. How are you planning to find that out? You can't just go to him and ask him if his mother was an abuser."

"No. I wasn't going to do that. I thought I could talk to him and tell him my brother-in-law knew of a father and young son named Nathan and Christopher years ago. I would just frame it as curiosity about a coincidence I noticed. I've worked with Chris long enough that he knows who everyone in my life is. And of course, that's partially because of Emily and Carrie being good friends. It's not strange for us to have a conversation related to my family."

"No, it's not. But I don't feel good about where you want that conversation to lead. If you're right, it wouldn't only mean he's Clara's son, it would mean he was betrayed by his own mother in the worst way imaginable. The idea of bringing that up for him doesn't sit right with me."

"Well, from what we do know about now, he already talks to Carrie about being abused. So it's not as if I would be dredging up a secret he's never been able to face for himself."

"Maybe. But it's like invading the boundaries of someone else's story. And maybe he doesn't want to hear from or know about anybody who also knew his mother. Maybe knowing that I was abused by her too could affect him, and I don't want another person to hurt over these old memories. Besides, talking to Carrie about unwelcome touch and predators hardly means he's made any kind of peace with what happened to him. The stakes are too high here, and I think you should drop it."

Samuel knew Steve well enough to catch the anger that traced his voice and expression, which led the preacher to touch his arm. "Then I will. I'm sorry if I stepped where I shouldn't have and upset you. I just thought this might be something you'd want to know."

Steve's face softened as he looked at Samuel, seeing the man's apologetic stare. "It is. I would like to know if he's Clara's Christopher. Just not at his expense. He's another victim, and I wouldn't want to violate whatever way he's chosen to deal with that. For all we know, that's just a past life to him, and he wants nothing to do with any connection to his childhood."

"You could be absolutely right, and now I feel like I was letting my own questions get the best of me. No matter what the case is here, it's true that this is Chris' past, and I promise I won't go against your wishes."

Soda stroked Mallory's shoulder as the two lay next to each other in her bed. The woman he loved so much was now fast asleep, which was typical for her after any kind of physically intimate activity, even during the daylight hours. As he stared at her, his fingers brushing her skin while he fondly recalled every moment they'd spent together that had led here, Soda knew he couldn't keep waiting. The plan for his proposal had to be set in motion.

"All right, buddy. I got it. You don't have to go into more specific detail. Trust me."

Soda laughed at the redness in Steve's cheeks that had appeared as he told his friend about what he'd done with Mallory the day before. "And it wasn't just my mind that was blown, if you get my meanin'."

Steve blushed even harder, the mental image he now had one that he wanted to get rid of immediately. "Yeah, the meaning is pretty damn obvious, man. Anyway, I'm glad you two had a good time together."

"Oh, we did, Stevie. But the sexy stuff aside, it's amazing to be with a woman and be a great match in and out of the bedroom. What do you think about throwin' your dad a little party on Friday night?"

"How did you go from Mallory to that?"

"Well, I was thinkin' about my proposal, and I don't want it to be just me and her. I want all ya'll to be there. So I figured a party celebratin' how great your dad's doin' could be a way to get everybody in the same place. If it's okay with him, that is, and he feels up to it."

"Okay. I'll ask him then check with Liv about having it at our house. I'll call everyone else too and get things set up for you."

Soda grinned as he could hear his friend slipping into planning mode. "And we can still have the ladies go get their nails done as a distraction. If Liv wants to anyway."

"I don't know. I think that could make it look like something else is going on. 'Cause why wouldn't Liv be home if we're throwing a party for my dad? No, we should just keep the focus on him. That way, Mallory won't suspect a thing."

"Hey, Chris. I'm here to pick up Emily. How was your day off?"

Chris was slightly startled by Samuel's presence, as he'd been staring out his grandmother's window, watching Carrie run and play with Emily. "It's been good. A little busy, but I'm not complaining."

Samuel stood next to Chris, seeing Emily cover her eyes at the same time Carrie went to hid underneath the slide. "They're two peas in a pod, aren't they?"

"Yeah. Sure are. You'd think Carrie and I wouldn't have much to do with each other, given the age difference, but it just makes me appreciate her innocence."

Samuel could hear both girls squealing with laughter, the sound making him smile as well. "I can see how that would be."

"Carrie told me she talked to Emily about some things I said and that Emily also passed them on to you."

"Yes. We had quite a discussion a couple days ago."

Chris' green eyes moved away from the girls, his gaze pierced with sorrow and a touch of doubt. "I'm sorry for that. I know it must've been a tough subject. I should've known Carrie wouldn't keep our talks to herself, not that I think she ought to anyway."

"There's no need to apologize, Chris. In fact, I think it's good that you share with Carrie. It brings the subject out of the dark."

"That's part of what I want to do. I worry about her too. Even though it's not necessary, I can't help it."

"You're a great big brother. My sister is older than me, and I've been known to worry about her."

Chris watched Carrie and Emily as they took out the jump ropes, their voices chanting a rhyme as they jumped simultaneously. "I almost feel like another parent to her, even though she has two amazing ones. I'd be lost without our dad, and Cindy's always been a mom to me. I was fifteen when they got married, but I consider myself her son."

Samuel's sense of the suspected connection grew as he listened to Chris talk, but he was careful not to press for any details the other man wasn't freely offering. "Sounds like she's gone above and beyond for a stepparent."

"She has. Technically, my biological mother died when I was ten, but she was dead to me when I was eight. I didn't even go to her funeral."

Samuel heard the bitterness that had seeped into Chris' voice, almost certain now of its roots. "So thank God for Cindy then, huh? Sometimes chosen family is better than blood."

"I'm sure you can attest to that better than anyone. Emily always talks about being adopted."

"Yes. She's proud of it. I hope it stays that was as she gets older. Vivian and I chose her, and we want her to see that in a positive light."

"Funny how that could work, isn't it? Cindy's been a mom to me. Vivian is a mom to Emily. They didn't give birth to us, and that hardly matters. Yet, my own actual mother didn't even care about me. I just became the kid she could use for her own personal gratification. If it weren't for my dad and my grandparents, my entire childhood would've been stolen."

"I'm up for it, Son, but isn't two days rather short notice for everyone else?"

Steve was in Nicholas' bedroom with him, as the latter had just awakened from a nap. "Maybe. But I think you and Soda both are worth some changes in plans. Of course, you and Liv are the only others who know about the proposal. We can't risk spoiling the surprise."

Nicholas sat up in bed, the thought of another celebratory gathering giving him a much-needed boost. "Well, I won't spill the beans, and I look forward to being the guest of honor."

Steve stared at the space beside his dad, this spot now where Audrey slept next to Nicholas every night. "Is it strange that I miss sleeping beside you sometimes?"

"Not at all. In fact, I'm sure other dads out there wish their sons could say the same thing."

"Samuel told you about Chris? I mean, who he thinks he is?"

"He did. But he also said he wouldn't try to find out for sure if you don't want him to. What do you think about it?"

"I told him I'm not comfortable with him asking questions because Chris is a victim too. Of his own mother to boot, if he is Clara's son. I mean, I would like to know, personally. But that's the way I've dealt with my past shining through, and it might not be the same for Chris."

"Do you think there's a chance Samuel's right?"

"Yeah. As unlikely as it seems for me to cross paths with Clara's kid, it seems even less likely to come across another guy named Chris who was sexually abused as a child and has a dad named Nathan. Plus, Samuel said his mother's not in the picture, just his stepmom."

"How would you feel about it if he is Clara's Christopher?"

"I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter because I'm probably never going to find out anyway. I feel bad for even wanting to know because this is another kid we're talking about here. Another child who was hurt and traumatized. I can't even hope that we're wrong about her also abusing Christopher either. Too much has pointed in that direction."

Nicholas patted the spot beside him, his arm going around Steve as soon as he got there. "I know it has. But, whatever you do or don't find out, it's okay to wonder. It seems natural too. You already know Chris is a person you have something in common with. If he's who Samuel thinks he is that just makes it run a little bit deeper."

Steve imagined himself as a teenager again, the young boy he'd been back then still living inside the man he'd grown up to be. "That'd make it run a hell of a lot deeper, Dad. But I don't want to be the near stranger who brings back the most horrible of childhood memories, so unless fate has other plans, I'll just have to accept that I may never know the truth for sure." Leaning on Nicholas and the relationship which had flourished against all odds, Steve remembered how it had felt to be abused, remembered being a child weighted down by guilt and shame he couldn't have possibly earned. "I'll just have to accept that some things need to stay hidden."

"Well, of course you weren't in trouble, Emily Beth. You've got parents who are happy when you talk to them about stuff."

Emily added another bright red tack to the map on her wall as Soda set up a game of Monopoly for them. "Yeah, I know I do. But it still made me nervous anyway."

Soda counted out each set of bills, giving them both enough money to start the game. "I feel you on that one. So, which state did Aunt Penny send you a letter from this time?"

Emily pointed to Montana. "This one. She says it's over a thousand miles away. Can you believe that, Uncle Soda?"

"No, I can't! Are you sure? 'Cause I don't think there are that many miles in the whole world."

"Of course there are, silly. China is more than seven thousand miles from us."

"Well, you're better at geography than I am, Emily Beth. I have a hard time just believin' how big our own country is."

Emily picked up the most recent letter that had come from Penny as she experienced the adventures of being a traveling nurse, which had turned out to be her dream job. "And Aunt Penny must be really good at science, right? 'Cause she's a nurse?"

"Yep. But she was always good at all the subjects in school anyway."

"Maybe I'll be a nurse one day. Or even a teacher, like Uncle Pony." Emily's eyes scanned the letter that was on a page of flowery purple stationery, its print punctuated with exclamation points and questions marks that encouraged her to write back. "Does Aunt Penny like being around me?"

"Of course, sweetie. She loves it when she gets to see you." Soda knew this to be true, but he also knew that Penny had declined the invitation to Steve and Olivia's wedding because she didn't wish to be in the company of Emily plus all of her adoptive and biological family. "And I'm sure she'll come soon since school's out for the summer."

Emily left the letter on her bed, then joined Soda at the Monopoly board. She grabbed the little top hat, choosing it to be her piece. "Uncle Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I make Aunt Penny sad?"

"What? No, you don't make her sad. Why are you askin' that?"

"Just a funny feeling, I guess. I always get it whenever I see her and even sometimes when I just think about her. So I wondered if I did anything wrong."

Soda's heart hurt to hear Emily's logic taking her to conclusions that rendered her somehow responsible and guilty. Even though he knew that was typical for children, he couldn't help wondering if she had also taken after him emotionally, especially given how she had apparently picked up on Penny's hesitance to remain too close to their birth daughter. "No, you haven't done anything wrong at all. Grown-ups can be really silly about things sometimes though, and it's easy for us to not realize what kids notice. We forget how smart you are and how much you might already understand. But Aunt Penny loves you, and she wouldn't want you to think anything she feels or has going on is because of you."

"But how do you know? Did she tell you?"

Soda picked up the tiny race car, putting it at the start of the Monopoly path alongside Emily's top hat. "No. But she doesn't have to. I've known her for a very long time, so it ain't hard to figure out that she wants what's best for you. Besides, it's a thing among grown-ups."

Emily shook the pair of dice and let them roll out of her hands to reveal the numbers three and four. "What is?"

"Wantin' what's best for kids. We want to see ya'll grow up to be happy and healthy, and that means you don't ever need to worry about stuff bein' your fault. It never is, not even if you keep thinkin' so."

Emily moved the top hat seven spaces forward, where it landed on 'Chance.' "When I write back to Aunt Penny, I'm going to tell her I miss her and love her and that I hope she isn't sad. 'Cause I want her to be happy and healthy too."

Soda picked up the dice, shaking them as Emily collected twenty dollars in income tax. He then released them, rolling a two and a five. "I know she loves gettin' letters from you, no matter what they say, but remindin' her of those things sounds like the perfect plan."

"I think it makes sense for you to be curious but also cautious. As your wife, I'll support anything you decide about what to do or not do."

Steve lay in bed beside Olivia, her hands massaging his back and shoulders. "Thanks. I needed to hear that. When Samuel first told me, my instincts reared up, and all I could think is I can't do that to somebody else. I can't stir their memories. I didn't think about myself at all, and now I am. It makes me feel so selfish."

Olivia lay down near Steve, skin touching skin as she put her cheek on his bare shoulder. "I still remember when you first told me about what had happened to you and how you focused a lot on the way it affected others, especially your dad and Sodapop. You're anything but selfish, Steve. If you were, you wouldn't even consider Chris' feelings or experiences. You wouldn't wonder what became of Clara's son at all."

"I still really hate the idea of asking him questions, but I guess I'm sort of hoping the truth finds a way to come into the light. I'm not even sure what it would mean for me though. My dad asked how I'd feel if he's actually Clara's Christopher, and I said I don't know."

"But?"

"But I think I'd feel the kind of twisted connection no one wants. Like I could share certain things and he'd get it on a level that's not possible for anybody else. But who wants that sort of bond? It sounds sick."

"No. It doesn't sound sick. It just sounds like a wish to be understood. To have empathy that could only be from a shared experience."

Steve turned from his stomach to his side, feeling the circulating air that came from their ceiling fan. "You know what's funny, Liv? There are things I've always thought I could never know. Questions with no answers because Clara's family was like some kind of ghost. But now, just a few blocks down the road from Samuel, there might be someone who holds the key to what I believed would always be locked up and buried as deep as my abuser's grave."