Cherish / Cherish
Life has a way of throwing curve balls, some you catch, some you miss, and some you don't even see coming
"How is he?" Cedes asked as she walked past the reception
"No change, but he's still comfortable" the nurse smiled at her
"Has the doctor been round yet?"
"No, but I'll put the call in, find out when she'll get here"
"Thanks" she smiled walking down the busy corridor, determined this was their day, a day for change no matter what, she'd prayed on it, promised herself it, and spoken word into action, day four was special, it was their day. She strode down the corridor enthused for the events of the day; this wasn't the kind of journey she'd thought she'd be making on this day, until four days ago
Wednesday
Sam had come in from training and announced he'd had to pull the car over because he'd been too dizzy to see the road, she was worried, told him they'd be visiting the doctors in the morning, he was worried himself, so he didn't argue. On the way there they'd been laughing about their vows, he wanted to know what she meant by the word cherish, then he'd suddenly collapsed in the passenger seat next to her, she didn't waste time, her brain went into automatic, she was closer to the hospital, so she turned the car around and took him straight there.
Those moment felt like the longest ever as she drove through the streets like a race car driver shouting his name, telling him to hold on, she could barely see the road for the tears falling down her face, she'd never felt so alone, they were supposed to be thinking about their wedding on Saturday, not him not being there.
He was rushed through the corridors and strung up to machine's while she gave his details, eventually the rush slowed down and she was able to settle "What can I do?" she'd finally asked, watching one of the nurses tending to him "I can't just sit here watching him breath"
"I don't know, talk to him, what does he like to hear you say?"
"We were supposed to be agreeing on our wedding song today" she laughed
"We don't mind, sing to your hearts content, we could move you down the hall" she suggested
"Could you do that?" Cedes smiled
"Sure, I'll talk to the ward sister, see what I can do" the nurse finished what she was doing and left the room
"Wake up babe" she rubbed his cheek "I'll bring some of our things in tomorrow" she smiled at him "We can finish off that game of chess, and I'll forgive that illegal move you made on Monday" she laughed "But don't keep doing shit like this to get your way, it's not funny" she smiled stroking his hair "I hate you not talking, just wake up for me babe" she was distracted by her phone going again "Mom" she smiled at the familiar voice
"Sweetheart" Sam's mother called down the phone "Is he awake yet?"
"No, but he's no way worse, they say that's a good thing"
"You're still with him?"
"Of course, I don't have anywhere else to be" Cedes looked at her phone questioningly
"They've called and we've given them permission to do what they need to, to keep him alive" she told her
"Thank you" Cedes smiled, wondering why she was acting grateful for that, they were his parents, she expected nothing less
"Dad's got us a flight for the morning, we should be there at around 11am your time"
"Okay, I'll pop home in the morning and get everything ready, I'll book a car to pick you up from the airport as soon as we get off the call.."
"Sweetheart you're doing enough just being there, we'll sort all that out" Anne told her
"Are you sure?"
"Very"
"I'll tidy up and the keys will be in the usual place"
"Thanks" Anne's voice grateful "And sweetheart" she paused as if she didn't know what good her words were going to be "Try to get some sleep"
"I'll try" Cedes smiled knowing how impossible that simple task was going to be for a while
Sam was in the middle of season, and she'd just got cast for a role she'd auditioned for, it hadn't been an easy feat, she'd been auditioning for everything that was out there, but the roles were proving few and far between, so this was luck, and she couldn't see how she was going to throw it back in the producers face. But she knew all that had to be moved to one side, because being at the hospital was going to take precedence over everything, anyone who knew her understood there was no other way for this to be.
They'd fallen into one of those traps your friends always warn you about when you meet someone new, don't forget your friends, don't let them make you choose, keep you life going, remember at any time you might need to call on a friend, and when you throw them away… so their story went. It wasn't that they threw anyone away, their lives had just taken a different road to everyone else's, Sam was moving from state to state, so they made house wherever they had to for his life dreams to be fulfilled, she could act anywhere so she just went in search as soon as they put down roots for a second. She didn't really want the high life, just that one break that would show her light to the world and she'd be happy, but the chase was hard work.
They were less than a week away from their wedding, and although he hadn't had much to do with the organising, bar the band and getting his best man sorted, even Cedes had to admit that he had the hardest job of all, trying to keep bridezilla in her box. He'd done a good job so far; she couldn't deny it he'd made sure everything went smooth for her and kept her busy by getting her to follow him all over the place for his games.
"Miss Jones" the doctor came walking into the room with so much noise it took her a second to work out what was happening
"Oh" she smiled at the woman
"Doctor Chang" she smiled back
"I need information, he's been here for five hours already, and I've heard nothing" she held her hand up at how rude that sounded "Sorry" she smiled sheepishly
"It's fine, it's a stressful time, I understand"
"How is he? have you found out what's wrong with him?" she looked at him
Sam hadn't woken up after suffering some sort of trauma, it had sort of crept up on them in a short space of time, he'd complained of headaches three days ago, and of course the paracetamols had come out, which he'd had to stop taking because they were making him visit the bathroom multiple times a day. He'd gone off his food, but because he was still getting the headaches, they assumed the symptoms were being brought on by the pressure he was under, with the wedding, and training, so Cedes was constantly onto him to slow down, and ease up the game for a few days before the wedding to get some time to himself.
"We've still got some tests to do" Dr Chang told her
"Funny enough just last night he'd agreed to go to the GP to see about his headaches"
"Mr Evans seems to be suffering from a condition we think is some sort of anaemia" the doctor stunned her into silence with the information
"But…" was all she could find, she was expecting migraine, exhaustion, or something not an actual condition, of course her brain rejected the information "He's fighting fit, he's never had a sick day in his life"
"Fit people can get sick too" she smiled at her
What sort of anaemia?"
"It's actually what we call plastic anaemia. a rare, life-threatening condition that occurs when your body doesn't produce enough red blood cells"
"Life Threatening?" she gasped
"There are treatments; blood transfusions, or in extreme situations a bone marrow transplant if we find his bone marrow can't make healthy blood cells"
"Transplant?" she filled up "This isn't happening" the cry burst out of her "We're getting married on Saturday"
"Sorry Miss Jones" she squeezed Cedes shoulder "Is there anyone that can come and sit with you?"
"His parents are on their way" she rolled her eyes "God, his parents" she looked up with dread on her face
"Do you want me to contact them?"
"I don't have the answers, I don't think I can…" she looked at Sam lying there
"I'll take care of that" Dr Chang rubbed Cedes shoulder
"So, why isn't he waking up?" she rubbed his hand
"He's in a coma" Cedes brain went into overdrive "It's just his brain giving his body time to heal" she followed with seeing the horror on Cedes face at the word "There's a lot to take in, I'll leave you alone for a while" she left the room abruptly
"Wake up for me babe" she whispered, crying in his ear "You've got to wake up to hear the song I finally chose for us" she kissed his cheek "Wake up for me babe" she hummed the song teasingly, hoping that would do the trick
There you are in front of me, and there's no need for words, the emotions complete
My closest friend the one that I need, and the one who needs me, like a song on repeat
My loneliness has up and gone, when you find the one all the colours are warm
Because when you're in love, the stars shine much brighter, the sky up above is bluer than blue
When you're in love your eyes open wider the world is brand new, that's how it feels when you're in love, in love
She didn't know when she fell asleep, but when she woke up it was dark out, her arm was stiff from leaning on it, and Sam was still in the same position "Sorry babe, I fell asleep" she sat up stretching "Mom and dad are coming in the morning, you'll want to see them" she turned the TV on and flicked through the channels "There he is" she smiled at seeing his team on some random station. "Go you" she smiled punching the air at his offence.
She'd ordered food, unsure if she could eat, but sure she hadn't eaten since breakfast, and called reception to let them know of its pending arrival. She was sat thinking how things were going to pan out in four days and fell asleep again before the food arrived. Waking up a while later, went in search of somewhere to heat her food up and sat chatting to the nurses trying to pass the time away, aware she had a lot to do before Sam's parents touched down in the morning.
Thursday
She woke up having had around two hours solid sleep for the night, forgetting for a second about the events of the previous day, before she looked at Sam and everything came flooding back "You woke up yet babe?" she asked hoping for him to wake up and answer her "I guess you're even more tired than me right now" she smiled kissing him "I've got to go shower, and prepare the house for your parents" she told him "I'm passing by the studio to let them know I'm here, and I'll be back as soon as I can" she shoved her feet in her shoes "Hopefully you'll be awake by the time I get back and we can have a pre-party ready for Saturday" she stopped to look at him
"Morning" the nurse walked into the room "Morning checks"
"Do you need me to stay?"
"No go ahead, we'll let you know if anything changes" she smiled
"Okay" she smiled "Tell him I'm on my way back if he wakes up" she kissed him again and left for home, there was no change three hours later when she got back, she'd collected some of their things, so she spent the time adorning the room with their memories
"Sweetheart" Anne, Sam's mom's face came round the door, the two women bursting into tears at the same time "What the hell happened?" she hugged her asking
"I don't know, we thought he was just working too hard" Cedes pulled away from her and held her head
"We're not blaming you for anything sweetheart" Dwight; his dad, hugged her giving the reassurance she needed
"Sorry sweetheart, we're just scared for him" Anne's face full of apology
"So am I" she burst out crying "Sorry" she got up and left the room
"Leave her" Dwight told Anne "She's had to be strong up until now, let her have some time"
"I said the wrong thing" Anne spat angry with herself
"She knows you didn't mean it"
"Mr and Mrs Evans?" Dr Chang walked into the room asking
"Yes" Anne grabbed Dwight's arm, this always meant bad news for them, they'd been there at least four times in their lives and in all cases it was bad news "Please save my son" she begged, while Dwight hugged her
"We need to have a conversation" Dr Chang showed them the seats "We'll just wait for Miss Jones to come back if you don't mind, and then we'll find a consultation room"
"We don't mind" Anne replied
"This doesn't sound good" Dwight flopped on the bench with Anne in his arms
"What's happened?" Cedes looked at Sam, confused at nothing seeming different "What's happened?" she asked the blank faces
"We just need to find a consultation room" Dr Chang got up and beaconed for everyone to follow her
"So" Anne sat down feeling anxious "Just tell us"
"Mr and Mrs Evans, Miss Jones" she looked at Cedes "It's been 24 hours since Sam came in" she looked from one to the other "And the longer he stays this way the more chance there is of brain damage and even brain death" she held her hands up at the questions she knew she was about to get "Of course I've given you worse case scenarios, but I just want you to be prepared"
"How do you prepare for news like this?" Cedes asked
"I guess that's a bad choice of words" Dr Chang frowned "The next twenty-four hours are crucial, after today he may start losing…"
"Life support" Dwight butted in "If anything gets worse, we want him to have the best chance"
"He's our only son" Anne grabbed hold of her husband's hand tighter
"Stacey" Dwight gasped; she knew nothing of all this "She needs to be told"
"Life support does give time" Dr Chang told them keeping on point "But at that point it would be more for the families benefit that Sam's" she took some time to think "The best-case scenario, he wakes up and wonders what just happened and can't wait to get home to stop all the fuss" she smiled
"Will he be able to play again?" Cedes asked wondering if he'd even want to carry on if he couldn't
"That depends on his recovery"
"So, that's a yes" Cedes got up and left, she needed to be with Sam, they'd just decided to live the rest of their lives together and now here was this person telling her that wasn't going to happen, she wasn't having it, the only thing she knew was prayer, so she used it
"Cedes" Dwight and Anne walked back into Sam's room interrupting her "We need to talk"
"About?" she snapped, if this was going to be her against the world, she was ready for it
"Sweetheart" Anne walked towards her "The Doctor told us Sam put a DNR on his notes" Anne burst out crying
"He didn't" Cedes pushed her off "He wouldn't" she spat at her "He wouldn't leave me"
"Sweetheart" Dwight grabbed her "He did it years ago, before you, maybe he just forgot to change it"
"He would have told me" she snapped at him trying to get him off her, they'd met bridezilla, but they hadn't met the fighter in her yet "He's not going to leave me, I won't let him" she yanked herself away from him and walked off out the room
"I think we should call Enid; she's not going to handle this well" Anne suggested taking her phone out "You call Stacey" she nodded at Dwight, they sat making the difficult calls
"Stacey's on her way" Dwight told her when he finished his call
"Enid and Derrick are on route"
"The rest of the wedding party will be on their way too, everything's still booked, isn't it?"
"Yeah, maybe we should call them"
"Have you seen the state she's in, she'll be expecting him to wake up a minute before the ceremony, and you want to cancel?"
"I don't suppose we need to tell her about the organ donation thing right now then?"
"You can be so insensitive sometimes Anne" he snapped
"Well, she didn't think it was possible anyway so…"
"You're stressed I get it; Cedes is 32 she's never dealt with this before and so I can get why she's acting up, but why are you?"
"Maybe something to do with my only son laying on a hospital bed with life support as his only hope, if he weren't getting married, if she hadn't encouraged him to move all the way out here to play, he'd be at home…"
"Hold up" Dwight sat next to his wife "Do you seriously think Cedes could stop him playing?"
"I…"
"You don't" he hugged her "You're just scared, like we all are, Sam always does what he wants, if anything, she's changed her life to be with him" he kissed her forehead "She loves him"
"And he loves her, I know that, but right now…"
"Mother's love I know" he hugged her tighter and let her cry "We'll get through this, he's getting married, he'll fight for that" he looked at his son "Hi" he looked up at Cedes coming back in
"Sorry, I get…"
"It's Sam I know" Dwight smiled at her "We thought we'd try and get some food down us, what do you say we get an hour away, everything's just so heavy"
"Dare I say let's talk wedding day?" Anne looked up wiping her swollen eyes "I need the distraction; I'd even suffer bridezilla" she smiled holding her hand out for Cedes to grab
"Bridezilla it is then" Cedes smiled grabbing her hand
Food and conversation was light, there was enough heavy to deal with, Dwight told Cedes they'd called her parents and they'd be arriving a day early. She told them her parents could sleep in their room and she'd stay at the hospital with Sam, she cried when they told her about Stacey, because that was honestly the first time she'd even thought about his little sister. It was late when Dwight and Anne finally left the hospital, Cedes sat talking to him, giving more words of encouragement before she settled in on the fold away bed next to him, laying there with the TV on mute listening to him breathe, humming the song she hoped he's wake up to hear on Saturday
Here we walk hand in hand, nowhere special to go no major plan, oh
we run around with love in the air and I'm smiling inside because I know someone cares,
It took a while, but I can feel it now, if words can't describe let me try and sing it aloud
When you're in love, the stars shine much brighter, the sky up above is bluer than blue
When you're in love your eyes open wider the world is brand new, that's how it feels when you're in love, in love
Friday
"Morning" she smiled at the nurse tiptoeing around her "Am I running late?"
"No" she smiled "Just doing one last check before end of shift" she smiled "The news has broken by the way" she looked up at the TV
"Shoot" she frowned at his face on the TV unsure what version of events they were sending out "They could have contacted me first" she hissed turning it up to listen to the near accurate commentary "They're talking about you babe" she got up to sit on his bed "Man of the hour, your team needs you, do you hear that?" she kissed his cheek "Morning" she leaned close looking at him "You're going to be just fine" she smiled "You promised me the best wedding night" she giggled "Actually I think that was me" she kissed him again "I need you babe" she got of the bed "Bathroom and breakfast before the visitors arrive, you've got a few today" she grabbed her night bag and went off to the bathroom "He'll wear his shirt today" she turned to tell the nurse "It's on the head of the bed" she pointed to his No.6 shirt
"Everything's fine" the nurse told her when she entered the room again
"Good" Cedes smiled scraping her hair up to tie a band around it "What time will the doctor do her rounds?"
"Around noon, or just after I think, unless her schedule changes"
"I'll be back well before that" she smiled, kissing Sam's cheek "Back in a bit babe" she run her fingers through his hair before leaving
She was going home to check on his parents, hopefully her parents were due to arrive within the hour and maybe pass by the hotel to see some of their guests that were due in today, explain the delay in them getting there late, and then back to the hospital.
"Cedes" Stacey greeted her at the apartment door, the two women stood hugging each other, crying uncontrollably
"Sorry Stace" she pulled away from her eventually "You just caught me off guard" she giggled "I'm glad you're here"
"We've got to fight our boys corner" Stacey wiped her eyes smiling
"Thanks" she looked round the room "Where's mom and dad?"
"They've gone to the hotel to let people know about the holdup" Stacey told her "Something they didn't think you should have to deal with"
"My mom and dad should be here…"
"They're meeting Mom and Dad at the hotel, everything's taken care of, we've just got to concentrate on getting Sam to wake up" Stacey assured her "They'll meet us at the hospital"
Of course, Stacey cried at the sight of him he was so pale, and lifeless "He's going to be alright" Cedes assured her "He's a fighter" she hugged Stacey telling her, trying to convince herself of that at the same time
There were more tears when Enid and Derrick turned up, then as the day went on it was like the guests had set up some sort of rota, the crying just never ended as the bridal party made appearances, everyone trying to keep spirits up, they ate food, sang, and watched the game in Sam's honour as the day went on. Eventually night came the air becoming sombre as no change was reported, and the crowd left for the evening
"I have a question" Anne smiled at the nurse as she did her final checks for the night "Is it true that the longer he stays like this, the more chance there is of brain injury?"
"I'm not actually authorised to answer questions like that" she smiled "But the doctor will speak to you about that in more detail if you ask tomorrow"
"It's our wedding day tomorrow" Cedes reminded the parent "We'll be busy getting married" nobody said anything else they just shared a look, said their goodnight to the both of them, leaving Cedes to settle in for the night. "Goodnight, babe" she kissed him after her usual wake up conversation, and wedding reminder. For the third night she lay looking at the monitor they'd attached to him, humming the song she was using to get through all this
Finally, I know how it feels, to take a love song and sing it for real
Finally, there's peace in my heart, and stress don't bother me, I've got somebody there for me
Because when you're in love… 'When You're In Love' by Karina Pasian
Saturday
"Morning babe" she smiled "Are you going to wake up and marry me today?" she stood up to kiss his cheek "I've every confidence you won't leave me standing at that alter" she leaned in closer to look at him, his skin still pale, his face emotionless "You better show up" she grinned kissing him again
"Morning" the nurse walked in smiling
"Morning" Cedes smiled "I'm just off to get my dress and stuff, if we have to get married here, I'll be ready" she giggled "I'll be a bit longer, I need to have a soak"
"We'll call"
"How is he?" she asked on her return a few hours later
"No change but he's still comfortable" the nurse smiled
"Babe" she smiled holding the bag with her dress in "An hour, you're cutting it fine" she sat by his bed adding finishing touches to her hair "Don't leave me hanging babe, wake up" she walked around talking to him as if they were in their bedroom "Today we say those words to each other babe" she smiled sitting next to him and holding his hand "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish" she stopped talking for a second "Nurse" she shouted "Nurse" she shouted again watching as two nurses ran in "He squeezed my hand"
"Involuntary movements happen sometimes" one nurse told her
"This wasn't an involuntary movement, look" she sat whispering to him again "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, see?" they sat watching his hand squeeze hers
"Cherish?" the nurse asked
"We were discussing the meaning of the word just before he" she looked at the nurse "But the main thing is, he's coming back" she giggled "To love and to cherish babe" she kissed his cheek