Stronger (What doesn't Kill You)
Always remember the best is yet to come
(Sorry for the delay, system's been down)
"We've been seeing each other for over six months now I think we mean something to each other, don't you?" Sam smiled at her across the dinner table, watching her take a sip of her wine
"Yeah" Mercy licked her wet lips and smiled at him "Of course I do"
"So" he looked at her rolling his eyes "What are we waiting for?"
"Suppose this doesn't work?"
"Suppose it does?" he grabbed her hand "Mercy I want to meet her"
"Sam" she moaned "She's…. not ready, it's…"
"You're going to have excuses forever aren't you?" he picked his glass up and took a frustrated sip
"I really want you to meet, but it has to be the right time"
"When do you think that's going to be?" he concentrated on not slamming the glass down
"Give me a week to feel the temperature with this, next weekend I promise, we'll set something up"
"I'm holding you to that" he smiled kissing her hand "Oh" he looked into her eyes "I can't do Tuesday this week, I've got a batch of new wood coming in, some expensive stuff, I want to oversee the delivery myself"
"That works for me I was going to ask if we could swop to Wednesday, I didn't get to book the time I wanted, so I had to go with what they had left, and Tuesday was it"
"Sorted then"
Sam was a 36 year unmarried man, he'd never really had the head to settle down, as a younger man he'd had the pick of the pack, being a musician, he'd had his fill of roadies and the like, had a couple of relationships that he thought might have gone somewhere that didn't, and then gave up. At 33 he rested his hat, not getting to play any big arena's, selling more songs than he actually sang himself, he decided to approach the music thing from another angle, and went into the guitar business as his full time thing, but he still sang in bars and at family events when he was hired.
At 35 and maybe because all the people around him were settling he decided he wanted some of that, unfortunately for him the girl he'd been seeing didn't want that with him, but instead of telling him that she just didn't turn up to his birthday party and left the Dear John message in a card, classy. He got over that one in a heartbeat and got on with life, then by pure coincidence this woman walked into his workshop with a young man asking for a guitar to be made, he didn't look enthusiastic about getting a bespoke new one, but it was money coming in, so Sam didn't ask.
She came to visit four times within the month it took him to make the instrument and they'd got talking, at first their conversation was just focused on the guitar, but as time went on they found they had things in common, and the conversation became easy. She invited him for a drink the evening before the instrument was ready and he'd accepted, they sat talking about everything, eventually she told him the story behind the broken guitar.
She'd received her final divorce papers that morning, her car had broken down and she walked into the studio to snide remarks from the band, and her manager telling her to forget the session after everything else that was going on in her life at that time, their shit was the last straw. It turned out she'd broken; her guitarist's Jake's beloved instrument; that had been handed down through generations, by falling on it while she ranted at everyone in retaliation, and her way of rectifying the situation was to have him one made.
Mercy was a 37 year old divorcee, she'd apparently been married for just over 16 years to Anthony, a guy she referred to as cold hearted, he'd held her back from so many things she wanted to do in her life, sing, travel, study. His thing was Aerospace so of course he worked with NASA, and she travelled according to his needs. Then in year six of their married like, she got fed up with the mobile life and nagged for a base, of course he gave her one in Philadelphia, but it was all to his advantage, he used the opportunity to find himself a more fun loving girl to run around with.
Then for the next ten years that was the theme for their relationship, until one day, just over two years ago, he walked into their house and announced that the new girl he was apparently in love with, was having his baby, and that was where he needed to be, so he wanted a divorce. If Mercy was going to lie about the whole situation she'd say she was upset, but for the life she was living it was an absolute release, she felt like the chains had been opened and she could finally get her life back.
But if the situation had only been about Mercy, and how she was feeling about the situation liberating would definitely be the word, but they had a 14 year old daughter that had grown to hate her father for leaving them, for making her sad, mad, and even worse leaving her mother to do it alone, she saw the struggle.
Then one day Candice's anger turned onto her mother, she started cussing her on a daily basis for being so stupid as to let a man control so much of her life. Mercy let most of it ride, Candice was understandably dealing with a lot; moving out of their five bed home and into a two bed apartment, changing from private to public school because the fees weren't being paid, and the worst was when the reality of the situation hit her as they stood on the front lawn selling all their belongings, Candice literally sat on the veranda and bawled.
Mercy had been crying on a daily basis for the pain her daughter was feeling at that time, but on that day if she could had seen Anthony, she would have spat in his eye, but nothing ever goes to plan, it wasn't until eight months into the divorce that Anthony let them know who the other woman was. Candice went into a spin on that one, and as far as Mercy was concerned she hadn't come out of that yet.
"Did you know?" Candice spat the words at her mother, Mercy wanted to cry for seeing the hurt in her daughter's face
"I've never seen her before" Mercy snapped at her; she hadn't cared a hoot about the situation from the off but that day in court, when the cause of her daughter's upset was stood in front of them, she was livid "How could you?" she turned to snap at Anthony, he didn't care he just pulled the marriage wreaker closer to him
"I just thought Candice should meet her as I'm asking for shared custody" Anthony smiled back at her
"I'm not going anywhere with…. that" Candice pointed at the woman stood beside her dad
"Candice" Mercy gasped surprised at the comment
"Sweetheart" Anthony looked at her just as shocked
"I'm not your fucking sweetheart" she hissed "I'm ashamed of you" she told her dad; her tone wasn't one either of them were used to
"Candice" Anthony snapped at her, she usually listened when he spoke like that
"Don't" she held her hand up at him reminding Mercy of herself "How dare you bring this…." She couldn't find the word
"You can say it" the woman finally spoke "Because I'm white, is that it?" she rubbed her ready to burst baby bump smiling "Well this little one is going to be your half-brother, so you better get used to it"
"Don't speak to her like that" Mercy butted in "T" she shook her head at him "You couldn't think of any other situation to do this in?"
"It's done now, Candice will have to learn to live with it" he snapped, his voice had no feeling for the little angel he used to love, who was the light of his world, apparently there was someone to take her place and just like a bug he'd swotted her out of his life.
That situation had fuelled Candice's anger, she refused to speak to her mother, as if she had something to do with that, refused to spend time with her father. Even when he came to get her, she'd lock herself in her bedroom and not even talk to him, after a while, which wasn't very long, he gave up too, leaving that hurt to fester. Now nine months on it seemed like there was no way back for her and her father, but Candice had turned into a different person.
Candice Jones at 12 years old, just a week before her father's brutal announcement was, happy, a proper girlie girl, everything fluffy, pink, lived in some sort of fairy tale world where her family was perfect and only good things happened, her father was hardly around but she'd grown up with things being that way, and the fuss he made of her when he was around made up for all of that.
Today's version of Candice Jones was very different, she was a very opinionated 14 year old, anti-everything, including mixed race relationships, men, people in big houses, friends living with both parents, Mercy knew all that was because of her father, but there was nothing she could say to change the girls mind. She was like a wildfire and no amount of ice was about to cool her down when she started, attitude was through the roof on the girl, it didn't help that the school she went to was majority street with a dog eat dog mentality, and she wasn't about to get eaten.
There were times when Mercy was grateful for her attitude, but more often than not it was embarrassing, they'd moved back to California which was where Mercy had originally come from, so they were closer to family, but with her being an only child there wasn't really much of a family to talk about. Her mother was bedbound, and her father had been missing since she was four years old. She's always thought that to be the reason she sat in her marriage for so long, having felt what Candice was going through in a milder form, but at least she'd had an Aunt who was more like a big sister to support her, Candice had no one she'd built that trust with to turn to.
Then of course she'd met Sam, it wasn't planned she wasn't looking, it was maybe the worst day of her life, but someone was looking down on her when they sent an angel in the form of Sam Evans to smile at her. The attraction was instant for her, she'd gone back to his workshop more times than she needed to because she couldn't fight the urge to see him, be sure he was the first and last thing she needed in her life just then.
It hadn't taken too long for them to jump into bed, she was the first one to talk about feelings, he just went along with whatever she said and eventually in month two she told him about Candice. She was shocked when he'd broached the conversation about settling down and having children, but even more so when she found herself agreeing with him. A visit to the clinic sort of wiped fatherhood off the charts for him and he was left with Candice and her, which she understood, but Candice had a father, she didn't get on with him, but he was alive, and Sam was white, the last thing she thought Candice needed to see in her life, in their house, of all the hard places to be, this was hers.
"So" Sam finished what he had in his mouth "Tell me something else I don't know about Candice?"
"She's rather bright for her age" Mercy smiled proudly
"She gets that from you of course" he laughed
"Of course," she grinned coyly "She hates men"
"So, she should"
"Even her father?"
"That's definitely between the two of them"
"She's still refusing to see him, but I really want her to have a relationship with him" she frowned "For everything else he failed at, he was a good father to her"
"She'll come around" he grabbed her hand "She'll be home in about two hours?" he asked looking at his phone "We better eat up" he grinned eager to get her to his apartment, these three hour slots, three times a week, weren't nearly enough. He'd gone into this knowing this relationship was going to be different, especially with a child involved, and until everything was out in the open with her, there wasn't much they could do about the time they had.
"It's a definite for next weekend" Mercy lay in his arms ninety minutes later smiling "I can't do things like this anymore I hate having to leave"
"I hate you leaving" he kissed her forehead "What do fourteen year olds like?"
"The newest phone, designer threads" she laughed "But seriously, she's into art so canvases, paints, sketch books that kind of thing, but meet her first don't come with anything"
"That bad?" he frowned
"There's work to do" she warned
"I can put the work in"
"Remember you said that" she kissed his lips and got up "Wednesday seems so far away"
"I'm available for lunches, booty calls, breakfast" he laughed, sitting up in bed "Does Candice know that I'm white?"
"No" Mercy stopped to look at him "And confession, that's a big thing for her, what with Sugar being white and all, I don't think it's really about the colour, it's just the hurt, but she's not letting go of it"
"And now some white man's taking her mom" he rolled his eyes
"But you're my white man and I…" she walked over to him "Love you" she held his face telling him before she kissed him
"And I love you" he pulled her onto the bed "And I promise you I'll try my best for her not to think of me as someone who's temporary"
"Thank you" she smiled "I must warn you though, I haven't had much success in the discipline area, sometimes I feel threatened by her she gets so in my face"
"You know I'm not going to stand there and let that happen"
"I'm not asking you to be a dad, not straight away anyway, I just want you to be prepared and think before you act, she has angles you wouldn't dream of"
"So do I" he smiled kissing her again before letting her go "Maybe we should go somewhere neutral, dinner or something, the three of us"
"You want to do this out in the open?"
"Any way it works" he smiled watching her get showered "If that doesn't work the next day it will be at yours, then mine, then school if I have to"
"You two are really going to fight this out then?" she came out of the shower asking
"I'm going to be persistent"
"Whatever happens, we win right?"
"We win" he agreed, watching her get dressed "Every time" he got up "Don't you think something's wrong with this picture" he grabbed her round the waist "You got a naked man in bed and your dressed"
"I could answer that" she laughed "But for now I'll just leave you with one word" she touched his chin "Candice" she kissed him quickly and walked towards the door "Wednesday" she waved closing the door behind her
Saturday
Sam sat in the restaurant, nervously rubbing his hands together, if he thought diving into this relationship with Mercy was stressful, he was sitting there rethinking the meaning of the word stress, if this didn't work out, he'd have to be the bigger person and walk away, he didn't think he could do that.
"This has to work" he told himself putting a smile on his face "Here we go" his smile got wider at Mercy walking towards him with Candice by her side taller than he'd imagined "Hi" he got up to greet them "Candice, I'm Sam"
"Hi?" she looked at him before looking back at her mother "This is the guy?" she rolled her eyes, Sam wanted to laugh at the Mercy of her, but she was being serious "You have got to be…"
"Sit down" Mercy spat at her "And be quiet" she looked around the restaurant "Please?" she whispered widening her eyes at her daughter still stood looking at her
"If this is your idea of a replacement" Candice looked at Sam as she sat down "It's not even funny"
"Replacement?" Sam asked, he didn't like the tone she was using with her mother
"I've already got something that thinks he resembles a father"
"And I don't want to be a replacement" he told her, Mercy looked at him for the tone he was using, and at that moment she could have told him to back off, but she didn't want to, Candice was being rude to her, and he was her man defending her "So," he looked around the restaurant "Now we've established that, can we eat?" he smiled at her
"I suppose" Candice grabbed the menu and tucked her head into it
He looked at Mercy knowing she was silently telling him that wasn't the end of this showdown Candice had been building up to for two years, but he had to take a breath to ground himself, if that was just the hello, what the hell did he have coming.
"So, Candice" he broached another conversation once their meals were in front of them "What do you do in your spare time?"
"Whatever I want" she smiled sarcastically "That's why they call it spare"
"Then, what do you want to do in your spare time?"
"Why do you need to know?" she stopped eating to look at him
"I don't need to know I'm just showing an interest" Sam smiled "And I thought if you were at all interested in the arts we might be able to do something that interests all of us"
"I've already been to the studio thanks" she smiled at him falsely
"I do know a lot of musicians" he nodded "But I also know artists, people in theatre, film, behind the scenes, poets" he smiled at her "And I thought if you were interested in any of those we could do something one weekend"
"Like?"
"Depends on what you're interested in" Mercy sat listening to the conversation, it had been a while since she'd heard Candice ask a follow up question, she looked at Sam praying he could deliver on this, because if this was the route he was taking with her daughter it was a dangerous one
"I like to sketch, paint, sing, dance" she flopped her head to one side throwing the words out as if they were challenges
"That should keep us busy for a few weeks" he smiled looked at Mercy as his plan formulated in his head
For the rest of the meal, he let her ask all the questions and answered them as freely as he could, he'd never been married, never cheated, more than liked her mother, really had no intention of stepping into her dad's shoes, wouldn't violate her privacy, and the list went on. By the time she finished her list of don'ts there wasn't much left for him to grab "Anything you want to lay on the line?" he knew she was playing with him, she'd already tied his hands
"Yeah" he looked at Mercy unsure how this was going to go down "I promise not to get between you two" he pointed at her and Mercy "As long as you're not disrespecting you Mom, I can't hear, see, or feel that and not do anything about it"
"So, who's on my side?" Candice asked
"I am" Sam and Mercy told her at the same time, laughing at themselves
"You're on a month trial" she warned him, watching him get up to grab her Mom's jacket
"I'll speak to you in the week" he smiled at Mercy opting for that instead of a kiss in front of Candice, he turned to Candice "How about a visit to Tate Gallery?"
"In Boston?" she asked her eyes popping
"Yeah" he laughed
"Sure" she shrugged her shoulders unimpressed, remembering he was on trial "I could maybe find the time" she looked at her mom "Are you coming?"
"Of course, she's coming" Sam laughed
Over the next few weekends, they went to theatres, concerts, studios, movies, ate out, she saw a bit of what Sam's business was about, and even spent some time at the studio with her mom, there was no time to be bored, something was happening every weekend. The month was up pretty quick, they'd become the jetsetters, for someone who had flown maybe five times in her entire life previously, she was quickly getting used to her preferred mode of transport being by air
They were in Florida, just sitting in the sun having spent the previous day at the water park, and opted for a rest day sipping cold drinks and listening to some locals having a beach party "Back in a bit" Candice suddenly announced walking off towards the music
"We don't know those people is that alright?" Sam asked Mercy as they both watched her take off her sarong, that was already short, and wrap it around her waist
"We can see her" Mercy lay back down to take in the sun "I like this music too"
"Okay" he lay down and grabbed her hand "Alone time" he smiled "My months up, should I remind her?"
"No" Mercy looked at him "I'm enjoying this, but we've got to settle down soon"
"Why?"
"Because we can't maintain this life Sam" she huffed "We've been out of state for five weekend straight, no one lives like this"
"We do, we can" he sat up "I'm letting you into my life Mercy, it's not about the money for me, for us, it's about a quality of life" he looked at Candice "She needs to be able to forget sometimes"
"Mom" suddenly Candice was standing over them "I think I just saw that woman my so called father married" she pointed across the beach
"That's all we need" Mercy rolled her eyes "Just stay away from that side of the beach sweet"
"No" Sam stood up "What are we hiding?" he looked at them "Why are we hiding" he looked at Mercy
"We're not" she looked at him "I just don't need the hassle"
"Talking about hassle" Candice got their attention "Can we have a conversation at dinner?"
"Sure" Sam and Mercy looked at her
"I like this one" Mercy grabbed Candice, who in turn grabbed Sam to dance, he didn't have the moves, but he was moving his head to the beat, and enjoying watching Mercy get down and dirty to 'Girlfriend' by Ruger all three dancing the afternoon away until siesta
It was dinner time when they finally woke up, they were all rushing around trying to make the 19:30 booking "Mom" Candice stood in their bedroom door "Enough, come on"
"She's right" Sam sat in the chair watching her messing with her perfect hair do "You're perfect"
"If he's here…"
"Stop" Sam walked over to her "You're perfect"
"Listen to the man" Candice laughed "Come on two minutes" she looked at her phone
"I'm ready" Mercy stood up smiling "Lets do this" she grabbed Sam's hand
"Finally," Candice rolled her eyes, they got to the table and ordered their meal before Candice took centre stage "It's over a month and I did say we'd.." she looked up trying to find the word "Revisit our situation"
"You did" Sam smiled
"I know all these trips have been to sweeten the pot, but…"
"They're not" Sam butted in "It's a taste of my life, our life" he looked at Mercy before he sat back in his chair "Sorry"
"Mom's happy, which makes me happy, and to be honest I'm not up to calling you dad or anything like that, but mom clearly loves you, and I love her even though I don't tell her nearly as much as I should" she smiled at her mom "So, as long as you don't hurt her, I'm good with whatever you two want this to be"
"I don't intend on hurting you or your mom" Sam smiled at her
"Mercy" Anthony stood beside Sam's chair with his new wife and child behind him "Fancy seeing you here"
"I don't fancy seeing you anywhere" she snapped
"Still bitter?"
"Not at all, I'm actually enjoying life, or was"
"Candice" he smiled at his daughter "We finally clap eyes on each other again, do you want to meet your brother?"
"Sure" Candice smiled "Straight after you meet my dad" she looked at Sam "Dad this is Anthony my biological"
"Who?" Anthony looked at Sam as he stood up
"Pull your jaw up Anthony, what was it you said in court?" Candice looked at him "What doesn't kill you…."
"… makes you…" Anthony stood dazed
"Stronger" Mercy smiled at him
"Oh" Sam smiled "Here's our deserts" he looked past Anthony and sat back down "Excuse us" they all turned back to their meal dismissing Anthony and his new family
"Did you hear her refer to me as her dad?" Sam lay in bed later that night, still excited about that event of their evening
"She said it to hurt her dad" Mercy laughed
"I know but if Pavlov's right she'll only say it another sixteen times before it becomes a habit" he laughed "I could get a detective to track where he is, and we could repeat that sixteen more times and then…"
"Sam" Mercy laughed
"How about we discuss all that again in another two months?" Candice shouted
"Fine" Sam called back giggling while trying to stop Mercy laughing out loud again