Dr. Fencer examined Olivia's stitches while a neurologist performed an abbreviated reflex and mental acuity check. They'd done an angiography and EEG while she was comatose but still wanted to have a physical exam to see if her brain was affected by the entire ordeal.
"How long was I down?" Olivia asked once the mental exam was done. Dr. Fencer and Dr. Bee along with two nurses were still performing other exams and also began to undo some of the monitors hooked to her.
"Almost 2 minutes," Dr. Fencer said.
"Wow," Olivia said softly, "how did it happen? Fitz said I threw a clot?"
Dr. Bee nodded, "Yes but we were able to remove it with a small incision. What caused the initial hemorrhaging was a uterine rupture, an extensive one."
"So you had to do a hysterectomy?" Olivia asked.
Dr. Bee nodded, "a partial one but we saw this coming and we prepared for it. You lost more than half your volume of blood from the hemorrhaging, we didn't have a choice"
Olivia nodded as well and swallowed hard, "Yeah, it still sucks. I'll never be able to carry another pregnancy."
"You'll still have options, surrogacy is still a choice you can make," Dr. Fencer said. "We harvested your eggs and they're safely stored at my practice so you can choose to utilize them whenever you're ready."
Olivia chuckled, "I'm a little traumatized right now so I don't know if I can sign another woman up for the risk of pregnancy just yet."
Both doctors chuckled, "I totally understand, now is the time to enjoy your beautiful baby girl."
Olivia watched as they continued to press against her stomach, checking her incision and swelling.
"So can I hold her?"
Dr. Bee smiled as she leaned up from examining her belly. "Yes you can hold her and try to breastfeed if you'd like and I'd really like to try taking a short walk at least across the room by tonight, we need you moving because we can't afford for another clot to form. Otherwise, your incisions are healing well. The swelling is down. We removed your wound catheter. I think you'll be able to go home in a few days if there are no complications and obviously full recovery will take some time but we can talk about that later."
Olivia grinned, "I can really hold her?"
Both physicians nodded.
Olivia turned to Fitz but before she spoke he smiled as well and kissed her hand, "I'll go get her."
Olivia nodded and smiled, "Thank you, baby."
"First, I have to let your mom know you're awake or else she'll kill me," Fitz said.
Olivia nodded. Fitz walked to Maya and tapped her on the arm. She woke immediately with fright, "what happened?" she asked frantically. Fitz smiled. "She's awake." Maya stood and ran over to the bed and saw Olivia awake. She wrapped her arms around her immediately, sobbing but smiling. 'My baby," she mumbled through tears.
"I'm okay Mom," Olivia said softly as she held her.
"I thought I lost my girl," Maya cried.
Olivia remembered what Fitz said about thinking she'd died but he didn't elaborate.
"I know the cardiac arrest was scary but I'm okay," Olivia said with a smile.
Maya leaned up and shook her head but before she spoke Fitz silently nodded at her, telling her not to tell. Maya nodded as well and took a breath. "I'm just glad you're okay baby," she said as she leaned forward and kissed Olivia against her forehead.
Olivia smiled and turned to Fitz again.
"I'm gonna get our girl," Fitz said, "I'll be right back."
She nodded excitedly as he headed out.
"Can I eat?" Olivia asked Dr. Fencer.
"Yeah, you've been down for a few days, you're good to eat light food and later on we'll try walking and see how it feels but for right now I just want to stick around and see how you do with baby Cece,' she said. "I have a lactation consultant coming in to help with breastfeeding."
Olivia nodded and Dr. Bee and a few of the nurses left.
"So Mom, how's Cece been while I was down."
"She's gorgeous and greedy, just like you," Maya said. "And spoiled already because someone is going crazy over her 24/7, especially Catherine."
Olivia smiled, "can you help me to sit up so I can hold her when she comes?"
Maya nodded and reached over.
"Actually, why don't you let the nurse help you," Dr fencer said as she signaled to the nurse in the room to help.
As the nurse helped Olivia sit up, the lactation consultant came in. She did a quick test to check her breasts.
"Can you do a quick squeeze test?" Olivia asked. "So I can see the color."
The woman nodded and began to use her hand to gently express milk from Olivia's breasts. After about a minute small drops of yellow liquid began to drip from her nipple. Olivia grinned though she was feeling discomfort from the squeezing when she saw it and Maya chuckled at her daughter's reaction. "You don't know how happy I am that you're okay," Maya said. "I couldn't bear losing you."
Olivia smiled, "I know Mom, I'm okay, I promise."
"I know," Maya said as she took Olivia's hand and squeezed it.
The lactation consultant tied her gown up and stepped back to give them some space. Arianna and Gerry walked into the hospital room just as she stepped away, "Oh my god Liv, you're awake," Arianna said as she sprinted over. Gerry rushed in behind her.
Olivia smiled, "I heard you were having photoshoots of Cece and I can't thank you enough."
Arianna laughed, "Of course, I didn't want you to miss anything- Liv- she's so freaking cute."
"I'm so glad you're okay," Gerry said as he walked closer.
"Thank you, Gerry," Olivia said with a smile.
"Where did Fitz go?" Gerry asked.
"He went to get Cece," Olivia said with a smile. Moments later Fitz walked in with Catherine and a NICU nurse. The nurse pushed the hospital bassinet with Sienna inside. Olivia immediately tried to sit up but Dr. Fencer stopped her, "Careful Dr. Pope."
"Sorry," Olivia said with a giggle.
Catherine rushed over to Olivia and hugged her. "I'm so happy you're awake and well," she said as she kissed Olivia against her hair. Maya had been combing her hair and grooming her while she was comatose. Her hair was in two french braids. Catherine pressed her hand against Olivia's cheek and caressed her just briefly then stepped back. Fitz was right behind her. He slowly lifted Sienna out of the bassinet. She was swaddled in a hospital blanket and had a pink cap with her name 'Sienna" embroidered on the front.
"Oh my god," Olivia said, immediately tearful when she saw her baby. Fitz smiled as Olivia reached for her and he gently placed Sienna in her arms. "She's perfect," Olivia said as she looked down and truly saw Sienna's face for the first time. "You're so perfect." She cradled her closer and touched her soft cheek as she slept. Olivia stared at her for a while before she turned to Fitz. "She's beautiful."
"I know but give yourself some of the credit," he said with a grin.
"How much," Olivia asked as she wiped her eyes and smiled.
"26%"
She gasped. "26%?"
"You can make an argument for 30," Fitz said.
Olivia laughed and shook her head, "I love you so much. Kiss me."
Fitz leaned down and kissed her lips softly and caressed her chin. "I'll give you 31%."
"31%? Olivia almost died birthing her," Arianna said incredulously.
"Thanks for ruining the joke," Fitz said as he kissed Olivia again then he leaned down and kissed Cece gently on her head.
Olivia guffawed and laughed.
"Oh," Arianna said. "Just ignore, continue, you guys are cute."
Fitz groaned.
"What, I said ignore me," Arianna defended.
Olivia laughed and looked down at Cece again, "I'm so jealous you got to spend the entire week with her."
"Jealousy makes you ugly, Olivia," Fitz said.
She laughed lightly again and turned to the NICU nurse, "When did she eat? I want to breastfeed her."
"She's due for a feeding so she should wake soon," the nurse said.
"Thank you," Olivia said.
"I see you're doing great," Dr. Fencer said, "So I'll give you some time and I'll be back to check on you soon."
Olivia smiled as she looked down at her daughter's face, "Thank you dr. Fencer. I appreciate you so much for getting us through this."
Dr. Fencer smiled, "you're welcome, Dr. Pope!" She said with a grin before she headed out with her team.
Olivia gently caressed Sienna's cheek again. They were red. Fitz smiled at the sight.
"I can't wait until she wakes up."
"I'm sure she'll be up in a few minutes," Fitz said.
"Why don't we leave them alone," Ariana said to her parents. "I'm starving, we can go out to eat."
Catherine gasped dramatically, "I can't leave my precious granddaughter."
"Yes you can," Arianna said, "while Olivia bonds with her. We can come back later."
Catherine relented with a sigh. "Maya, would you like to join us?" She asked.
"Oh no no no, I have to stay with my Livie."
"Mom, it's okay," Olivia said. "Go have dinner, I'll be fine until you get back."
"I can't leave you. This whole thing was too fresh."
"Mom," Olivia said with a smile. "I promise I'll be right here waiting for you. Go to dinner, relax a little. I know it's been a rough few days, just take a break and come back."
Maya groaned and nodded, "Fine but don't pretend it's not cause you wanna stay here and kiss up on your boyfriend."
Olivia giggled, "I wanna do that and have some skin-to-skin with Cece."
Maya walked over and kissed Olivia against her hair. "I won't be long."
"I know you won't," Olivia quipped playfully.
She walked over to Fitz, "take care of my daughter," she said before patting him on the back.
"I will," he said.
Maya, Catherine Arianna, and Gerry said their goodbye and then headed out. Fitz breathed a sigh when they left. It was just Olivia, Fitz and their daughter, and a nurse.
Olivia smiled, "I'm surprised my mom agreed to leave."
"Me too," Fitz said. "She hasn't left your side except to go to the bathroom in the past few days."
"That sounds like my mom," Olivia said. "Can you help me to take her out of this swaddle?"
Fitz leaned up and gently began unwrapping the tightly swaddled blanket. She was in just a tiny diaper. Fitz lifted Cece so the nurse could help Olivia undo her gown once again then pulled it down revealing her breasts. The nurse then lifted Cece out of Fitz's arms and laid her against Olivia's chest and placed the flannel blanket over them then stepped back.
"Tabitha, I think that we'll be okay. We'll call you if anything."
Tabitha nodded, "I'll be at the nurse's counter."
She headed out moments later. Fitz moved closer to Olivia as she tenderly ran her finger against Cece's head. It felt good to feel her soft wrinkly skin against her. "How do you feel, angel?"
"I can feel pressure in some places but I can't feel any pain," Olivia said as she leaned her head lightly and kissed Sienna against her pink cap. "I love her so much. It feels so good to finally hold her like this."
Fitz nodded and kissed Sienna as well, "She's amazing."
"What happened," she asked, as she lay stroking her head. 'When I was down."
He sat on the chair beside her bed and smiled dryly, "I was hoping to save that conversation for after you'd spend some time bonding with Cece."
"Mom's being a little weird, and so are you and everyone else. Was it that bad?"
He sighed as he began "When I came back they'd just rushed you into surgery. After a while, they told us that you had a really severe hemorrhage, and Dr. Bee was with you. We waited for a couple of hours before Abby came bursting out of the surgical ward, crying hysterically, and told us that you didn't make it."
"What?" Olivia asked shocked, "I mean, I coded but why would she tell you I died."
"Because she's a cunt. We went an hour thinking you were dead. By then your mom had passed out from the news, and half the hospital staff was on the floor thinking you were dead-" Fitz took a breath to calm himself. "It was chaos."
"I'm sorry- I didn't know that happened-"
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said softly, "but after I'd been sobbing on the floor for about an hour Dr. Bee came out of the operating room to tell us you were alive."
"You were crying- I wish I would've seen it," he teased lovingly.
"You've seen me cry before," Fitz said.
"I disagree, I've seen you get teary-eyed but you've never cried."
"Well I was fucking crying-"
Olivia smiled and moved her hand from caressing Cece's hair and reached for him. She waited until he stood and moved closer to her to caress his cheek."I told you I wasn't going to leave you. You didn't believe me."
He shook his head. "You're right, I should have. You told me you were strong enough and I didn't believe you. I'm so fucking proud of you, this was tough but you got through and now we have our daughter."
Olivia smiled tearfully and pulled him closer and kissed him tenderly. "I love you so much. I wouldn't have gotten through this without you."
And she really did mean it. She wondered how she would have survived her pregnancy if she hadn't had every luxury at her disposal or if Fitz hadn't gotten her the best doctors. She wouldn't have been able to stay home for the last few months of pregnancy to rest while not having to worry about finances or her career. She couldn't contemplate what the opposite would've been.
Fitz kissed her and caressed her cheek, just then, Sienna began to fuss. Olivia grinned, excited.
"Oh my god, she's up, she's finally up."
Fitz smiled, "She's greedy so prepare yourself."
"Can you help me to lift her a little-"
Fitz was already reaching down to switch Sienna's position in her arms. Olivia had already had her hospital gown pulled from her chest for skin-to-skin. The sound of Cece's fussing made her breasts tingle. Once she was positioned properly Olivia lifted her breast and gently pressed her nipple against Cece's mouth, entreating her to suck. Sienna didn't readily open her mouth which Olivia expected, she was a premature baby and just began learning to feed.
"Cece, my little angel, mama needs you to drink up so you can get fat and squishy," Olivia whispered softly. Her eyes were barely open but Olivia could see the dark gray hue.
Fitz shook his head, "don't start crying."
Olivia's eyes were already wet. "I can't help it, she's so little and perfect." She wiped her tears away and tried again, pressing her nipple against Sienna's lips, it took a moment before Sienna was able to open her mouth and take her nipple in then it took just a bit longer for her to begin to suck and latch.
"Oh my god," Olivia said, "she's doing it. She actually latched!" Olivia cradled her and slipped her finger into Sienna's palm. Cece gripped it tightly as she sucked. Fitz smiled as he watched them.
"How much does she weigh?' Olivia asked.
"She was at 4 pounds and 2 ounces last time they updated me. She was actually losing weight for a couple of days then it started to come back. The pediatrician said she should be at 5 pounds in the next week. She's aiming for her to gain at least half a pound per week for at least the first month."
Olivia nodded, "she'll be tiny for a while."
"Does it hurt to breastfeed?"
Olivia shook her head, "it's uncomfortable but it feels good to know that I'm giving her what she needs."
She waited a while before she asked Fitz to help her switch Sienna to her other breast to continue drinking. When she was finished she laid Sienna against her chest, in between her breast, and covered her with flannel blankets again then gently ran circles into her back until she let out a quiet burp and went back to sleep.
"So what happened after you guys found out I was alive?" Olivia asked.
"Oh, I was furious," Fitz said. "Abby got canned"
"What?"
"She was kicked out of the program-"
"Fitz, please tell me that wasn't you."
"Yes, it was me-"
"Fitz-"
"Olivia don't-"
"-no, I get that she messed up-"
"Messed up? Olivia, she told us you were dead and we believed her. Do you know what the fucking did to me? What it did to your mother? "
"I know, what she did was horrible even if it was a mistake, it's just that we've put so many years into this to just fire her-"
"Do you want me to take a picture of you and Cece?" Fitz said, changing the conversation.
"You're distracting me but fine I really want the picture."
Fitz smiled and pulled out his phone and took a few pictures of Olivia cradling Cece against her chest then he sat down once again.
"I get that she's your friend but what she did was really fucked up. She went into your operating room for god knows why and then she couldn't even do you the favor of confirming whatever she thought she saw before she came out. It's almost like she wanted you to fucking die."
Olivia sighed, "You have a right to feel the way you feel because I can't imagine what I would've done if it happened to me, it's just that I don't want to be the reason her life is ruined."
"She'll go to a different hospital, she'll be fine. Dr. Bee wanted her fucking gone so it wasn't just me."
Olivia nodded then chuckled, "I shouldn't laugh, I just can't believe you got her kicked out."
Fitz laughed dryly, "I can laugh now because you're okay but I don't know what I would've done if I'd actually lost you and I definitely don't want to have that fucking feeling again-"
"What feeling?"
Fitz thought for a moment before he responded, "felt like somebody dropped a concrete wall on me and I was suffocating under it, it was just a heaviness that made me want to fall to the floor. Just the thought that I'd never see you again- the way you're looking at me now or see you smile or hear your voice calling my name-"
Olivia chuckled tearfully.
"Thinking about having to live without you sucked any happiness or rationality or sense out of me and I just knew I couldn't do it."
"You could, if anything happened to me you'd have to move on-"
Fitz took her hand and kissed it gingerly. He became tearful as he spoke. "I couldn't. I wouldn't. I can't fucking live without you, Angel. You came into my life and gave me everything. I couldn't lose you and thankfully I didn't."
Olivia reached for him desperately. "Kiss me. I love you," she said, stroking his cheek as he moved closer. Fitz parted her lips with his tongue and kissed her. When he broke it and leaned back Olivia wiped his eyes. "I hate Abby now. Let's kill her."
He chuckled and shook his head, "Join the club. Arianna wants her head." He sat on the chair once again. "If you need me to hold her, let me know."
"You had an entire week with her. I need to make up."
"We're competing now?"
"Yup, I have an inkling she'll be a daddy's girl and I need to get ahead of it."
Fitz laughed, "It'll be really hard to compete with you dying to give birth to her but I'll try."
"Literal cardiac arrest. Insane."
"And you were telling me not to worry."
Olivia laughed, "I knew you'd say that by the way," she said as she gestured to the room. "Why are we in the VIP suite?"
She noticed a much larger room and different, more cozy furniture.
"I wanted you to recover in luxury- if you can call this luxury. It looks like the presidential suite at a 1-star hotel."
"Fitz, I hate the people who stay in VIP suites, they're obnoxious, it should be illegal to have VIP treatment in healthcare."
"I got you the VIP suite. Deal with it," he teased.
Later in the night Maya, Catherine, Gerry, and Arianna returned. Sienna was in the nursery with Fitz for her check-up. Olivia was examined again by her medical team and had help to walk to the bathroom to be tidied up by the nurse. It was the first time she felt pain since she woke but it was bearable. When she was done cleaning up in the bathroom, they helped her to walk back to bed.
"Livie," Maya greeted as she walked inside. Olivia had been sitting and waiting for Fitz for some time.
"Hey Mom, did you bring my soup?"
"Yes, greedy girl," Maya said as she walked over with a paper bag from the restaurant. Maya took the bowl out as well as the french bread. "I'm gonna warm it up for you."
Olivia nodded, "Thanks."
"How's it going darling," Catherine asked. Gerry and Arianna were close to her. "I'm sure Sienna was an angel."
"I couldn't put her down."
"No one can," Arianna said. "She's literally perfect and tiny like a doll."
"I fed her and she latched pretty quickly and drank really well. I'm so proud of her and I'm ready to take her home."
"When do you think that will be?" Gerry asked.
"In a few days. I think before that happens I just want us to get together and talk about some things to watch out for once she's home especially since she's premature. Sids, apnea, b.r.u.e, safe sleep, and basically everything she's at risk for right now. I've been in the pediatrics long enough to remember the horror stories."
They all nodded in agreement. Maya returned with Olivia's food and placed it on the rolling table tray and moved it to her bed then handed her a spoon. She had a French onion soup with toasted French bread. She began sipping. "Mom, this is so good."
"I told you," Maya said with a grin as she sat at the foot of Olivia's bed. She continued to drink and chat casually with the group until Fitz returned with a NICU nurse and Sienna in her bassinet. She was fussing quietly.
"Oh my little Cece's back," Olivia said. She moved the tray but Maya stopped her, "Finish it. You need to eat if you're breastfeeding."
Olivia groaned and continued drinking the soup quickly. Fitz lifted Sienna out of the bassinet and cradled her. "How was her check-up?" Olivia asked.
"She gained an ounce since yesterday," Fitz said. "And she's hungry. You gave her the good stuff and now she's hooked."
The nurse nodded and smiled, "She's doing great, dr. Pope. Her liver's great, oxygen levels are good. She doing great all around."
"Let me feed her," Olivia said as moved the tray.
Fitz chuckled and kissed Sienna against her head and walked to Olivia, "Mommy gonna's feed you okay." She stretched her tiny body in his arms and she was utterly adorable.
"I'll give you some privacy," Gerry said then stepped out.
Olivia pushed down her hospital gown and took Sienna in her arms then lifted her breast and once again gently placed her nipple into her mouth. She began drinking immediately. She looked down at Cece's little face and closed her eyes.
"Don't start," Fitz teased lightly.
"I can't help it," she said with wet eyes. "I just love her so much. She's my tiny, perfect little baby." She sighed and wiped her eyes with her free hand.
"Are you gonna burst into tears every time you hold her?" Fitz asked.
"Probably," Olivia said with a chuckle.
Maya ran her hands against Olivia's legs under the blanket. "You're just getting used to being a mother."
"Give it some time," Catherine said.
Olivia nodded, knowing her hormones were playing a role in how extreme her emotions were. She fed for some time on one breast until she switched to another. Cece fell asleep with her nipple in her mouth once again.
"Fitz," Olivia called.
He walked back to her after he'd stepped away to do something on his phone. "Livie?"
"She fell asleep with my nipple in her mouth. Look."
Fitz stepped closer and looked down and smiled. "Let me burp her."
"No, you had her all week!" Olivia shot back playfully.
Fitz groaned, "Fine. You get one week back and then we're sharing her."
Olivia chuckled. "I'm just kidding," she said then she gently pulled her nipple from Sienna's mouth and allowed Fitz to lift her from her arms. He held her up against his chest and ran circles into her back gently until she burped then he walked to the window with her.
"Fitz, give her back," Olivia whined.
"Give me two more minutes. She's my favorite person," Fitz said then he kissed Sienna against her hair. "You're my favorite person."
Olivia smiled as she watched them and moments later Fitz brought her back to Olivia to hold her as she slept.
The rest of her days in the hospital passed quickly and without event. On the last day of her more than two-week stay, she was waiting to be discharged. Sienna was strapped in her car seat as they waited for the nurse to return with her discharge papers. Gerry and Arianna had gone to bring the two cars around to take the group of seven home. Once Olivia received her paperwork the nursing support team escorted her down to the hospital discharge exit along with Fitz who carried Cece and Maya who had her bags. Catherine followed behind.
Arianna and Gerry had the cars parked in front. Arianna hopped out of Fitz's range rover and opened the door facing the curb. Fitz lifted the car seat into the back seat of the car and fastened it in the secure bottom piece. The nurse moved Olivia around to the other side of the car and he lifted Olivia out of her wheelchair and gently placed her down in the backseat of the car. Maya moved to the front passenger seat and Fitz thanked the nurse and got into the driver's seat. Catherine, Gerry, and Arianna got in the front car.
Both cars pulled off successively and after a 25-minute drive, Fitz arrived at the front gate of their new home. The guard at the small security booth opened the car automatically and they pulled down the driveway. Olivia smiled as her home came into view. Fitz parked directly in front of the main entrance by the marble fountain. Gerry parked behind him. Fitz and Maya both opened their doors and stepped out. Fitz then opened Olivia's door. "How are you feeling?"
"My body hurts a little so I just want to be careful getting out."
Fitz lowered himself. "Should I lift you out?"
"No," Olivia said as held onto his hands, "I want to try to walk as much as possible but I need help getting up."
"Okay," he said. "We're gonna take it slow. I'm gonna bring you towards me."
Olivia nodded as he slowly moved one hand behind her back and then wrapped her other hand around his shoulder and then gently pulled her up until she was standing.
"How does that feel?"
"Good," she said softly.
He moved his position so she was beside him as she held her hand to support her. Gerry reached into the car and took Sienna's car seat out. Fitz walked slowly with Olivia, helping her to the front entryway steps then up and into the house. By then, Olivia needed to take a rest.
"Baby, can we take a break for a second," she said.
"Sure," Fitz said as he stopped.
Gerry, Sienna, and the group followed behind them.
"If you can't go anymore let me know- I'm hating myself a little for just realizing that I could have had an elevator installed during the renovations."
She chuckled softly, "An elevator?"
"Yeah."
"Where would that go?" she said and realized she was losing her breath even more after stopping.
"I don't know but I'd pay someone to figure it out."
"I don't think I can go anymore," she admitted.
Fitz moved in front of her, "Hug me."
Olivia wrapped her arms around his shoulder, trying her best to stretch as little as possible until she felt his arms around her lifting her slowly until she was honeymoon-style in his arms. He carried her up the stairs to their bedroom and sat her on the bed.
Gerry placed the car seat on the ground and Catherine immediately picked it up. "I'll take her to the nursery and get her into something more comfortable," Catherine said as she took the car seat.
Olivia frowned just slightly, Fitz and Maya noticed.
"I'm gonna move the cars," Gerry said before heading out. Arianna headed out as well to go to her bedroom and freshen up.
"Olivia baby before you relax let me help you change out of those hospital clothes and tidy you up," Maya said.
"Okay Mom, one second I just need a little rest," Olivia replied.
Maya nodded, "I'm gonna head over to my room to drop off my things, I'll be right back."
Both Olivia and Fitz nodded. Once Maya left Fitz sat beside her.
"Are you okay?"
Olivia nodded.
"Just take it slow, you've been through a lot."
She nodded again, "it's just a lot. I feel like I'm in a stranger's body and I think I'll feel better when I feel like myself again."
"You will just give it time," he said as he leaned over and kissed her lips softly. Olivia leaned against him lightly as she gazed around her bedroom. It was large and stunning with cream carpets and a large California king bed with a velvet tufted cream headboard and a large matching platform underneath it. There was a gorgeous gold and crystal light fixture in the middle of the ceiling. The couch was a beautiful curve section in a beige color that complemented the carpet. There was a coffee table in front of the couch and a large tv fastened to the wall. Directly in front of the bed were large French doors that led to the balcony. Large cream velvet drapes were pulled to the side to let light in. On the opposite side of the room was the entrance to the master bathroom and walk-in closet.
"We have a new home, a newborn baby…" she said absently.
"Yes, we do," Fitz said with a smile.
"Do you know when your mom will bring Cece back?"
"I can check," he said just as Maya returned. "Are you ready Livie?" she asked.
Olivia nodded as she leaned up from Fitz and stood as slowly as possible. Maya walked to her and took her hand then led her slowly to the bathroom.
"I'm gonna take a shower in one of the other bathrooms," Fitz said.
"Are you sure you don't want to wait till I'm done?" Olivia asked as she stopped from taking her tiny steps.
"Yeah, it's fine."
Olivia nodded and continued to the bathroom slowly. When she reached Maya closed the door behind them. The master bathroom was huge. The floors were white marble and so were the double vanity counters with gold hardware and floor-to-ceiling cabinets for toiletries. Maya walked her over to the chartreuse velvet chaise lounge chair and sat her down then she walked to the clear glass shower to gage the water. She went into the closet and took out a few towels and wash rags and then prepared one of the hospital-provided underwear and pad for her.
There were bouquets of green peonies placed around the room and accessories such as candles and diffusers around the room as well. A large tub was in the far corner of the room and there was a toilet and bidet.
Once Maya set the water she walked back to Olivia and helped her up then began to remove her clothes. She helped her to take a quick, light shower in the tub and then step out and dry off then quickly then slip on her underwear. Once they were finished Olivia walked on her own this time to the closet which was right outside the bathroom. As Maya looked through her packed-away clothing for loose-fitting loungewear, Olivia walked to the mirror to gaze at her reflection. She hadn't been able to see her scar as yet so she slightly pulled down her underwear to look. She had a large vertical scar going up her stomach and then a lower horizontal one. It was almost like an upside-down cross. There was also a very small incision underneath her breast.
Tears came to her eyes as she looked at the scars on her belly and as the moments passed she couldn't hold back the rush of emotion that came out.
"Mommy," she called as she stretched for Maya and it was then that Maya realized she was crying. She rushed over from the island dresser to her.
"Livie," Maya said as she hugged her. "What's going on?"
Olivia didn't answer as she held Maya and cried until she couldn't anymore. Fitz had approached the closet when he heard crying and stopped to listen just outside the closet door, out of view, for some time after leaving his shower to get some clothes to dress in. He decided not to interject himself into their moment but he also couldn't leave because he needed to know what was going on with Olivia.
Once Olivia finished sobbing Maya walked her over to the velvet bench in the closet to sit. "Come on Livie, you have to talk to me, you have to talk to your mama, what's going on? Are you in pain?" Maya wiped her eyes as she spoke.
"A little but that's not it," Olivia said. "I just really didn't think it would be like this. All I wanted to do was get through my pregnancy, have a normal labor, push my baby out with some epidural, and then go home. Instead, I got this- the worst-case scenario. I feel like my body is not mine, everything aches, I'm bleeding and I can barely walk and if that's not bad enough I have an ugly scar running across my belly that will probably never go away and my uterus got taken out," Olivia said as she began to cry again. "So on top of all this, Fitz will probably end up leaving me for someone who doesn't have an ugly belly and a missing uterus and can actually give him another baby."
"Oliv-"
"And I know I shouldn't worry about that but I do because I don't even know when I'll be able to sleep with him again," she said as she wiped her eyes.
"Livi-" Maya tried to speak but Olivia cut her off again.
"-And I can barely hold on to Cece for two seconds before Catherine comes and tries to take her from me. We just got home and she already took her and it's making me irrationally angry because everyone's had more time with her than me. I literally almost died, I think the least she can do is let me hold my baby without constantly trying to take her from me-"
"-Livie- listen to me," Maya finally said. "First of all, sex should be the last thing you worry about. You are dealing with too much."
Olivia rolled her eyes because she expected Maya to invalidate her feelings when it came to that…even if she was right. She wiped her eyes again and sniffled.
"Fitz is crazy about you, I don't know everything that goes on in your relationship but I don't think he will bother you for sex if you're not ready and I don't think you think that either."
"It's not about him bothering me, he won't bother me but what if I just can't give it to him and he goes somewhere else-"
"Stop. You know he's not gonna do that so stop giving yourself things to worry about," Maya scolded. "Secondly Olivia, you'll heal and so will your scars, just give it time. Dr. Fencer said that there's treatment you can do to make them virtually disappear so baby you need to take that off your mind as well. What we're dealing with right now, is what every new mother goes through, you're home with your baby and your man and now you need to figure out how to go forward. This is the best-case scenario. The worst case scenario is if we left the hospital without you and my grandbaby okay, that didn't happen. The next worst-case scenario is if we had to leave the hospital without you or Cece but that didn't happen either. I know you didn't want it this way, no one did but honey, you're alive, and you're okay. You don't have a uterus but that doesn't make you any less of a woman and besides, you hated your damn periods anyways."
Olivia finally chuckled.
"As for Catherine, just tell Fitz. I'm sure he'll talk to his mother. He says anything that comes to his mouth- just like me."
Olivia laughed.
"Cece is his baby too and that's his mom- and I know she means well I think I'm just- I don't know, on edge."
Maya hugged her close and kissed her temple. "You're gonna be okay. Just take it easy, you're gonna feel a lot of things in these next few weeks but that's motherhood. Just keep talking to me and we'll get through it."
Olivia nodded, "Thanks, mom."
Maya stood and helped her up and then continued to look for clothes to dress her. Fitz waited until she was dressed before he walked in.
"Hey Livie," he said as he walked in.
"Hey baby," Olivia said with a smile. Her face was slightly red and it was obvious she was crying so she decided to mention it. "I'm just here having a moment and being grumpy."
"I'll leave you two alone," Maya said as she headed out, "I need to take a shower as well."
Fitz walked closer to Olivia and wrapped his arms around her. " I think I'd be a lot more than grumpy if I were you."
Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. He was wearing a towel robe.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
Olivia nodded.
"Let me get dressed and we can go downstairs- actually maybe it's better I have Simone bring you something up."
Olivia nodded again. "Thank you."
Fitz kissed her against her hair and stepped off to dress quickly. When he was done he walked Olivia over to the couch in their bedroom and handed her the remote to find something to watch on tv while he went to Simone to figure out what she was preparing for them.
After talking with Simone for a few minutes, he headed back upstairs to Sienna's nursery where he found his mother sitting with her in the Sienna, who was swaddled in pink blankets.
"Hey Mom," he greeted. "What's going on?"
"Hey Fitzty, I think she might be hungry soon."
"Okay, let me grab me and bring her back to Olivia," Fitz said as he leaned forward to take Cece.
"No sweetie, it's okay I can bring her when she gets fussy. I don't think she's hungry yet."
"It's okay, I'll take her anyway."
Catherine relented, "fine," she said as she gently laid Sienna in Fitz's arms. "She's just so darn adorable. I can't be away from her."
"I know Mom," Fitz said.
"Can I come back and get her later?"
"Olivia and I will want to keep with her today so maybe tomorrow."
"Honey," Catherine complained.
"Bye Mom, love you," Fitz said as he headed out with a sleeping Sienna.
When he walked into the bedroom Olivia was covered by the throw blanket and the show was paused on the screen. She smiled when she realized he was carrying Sienna.
There was a cute white bassinet close to their bed for her nighttime sleep but her bouncer was in the nursery.
Fitz walked to Olivia and laid Sienna in her arms, "the princess is sleeping. Let me grab her bouncer thing."
"Okay baby," Olivia said with a smile as she turned to give Sienna her attention. "Hi honey, I've missed you, my little princess." Olivia raised her slightly and kissed her against her soft reddish hair.
Fitz returned with the bouncer moments later and pulled the coffee table away slightly to give the bouncer space directly in front of them then he sat beside Olivia and she leaned against him slightly with Sienna cuddled in her arms.
"Simone is finishing up some roast duck and mashed potatoes."
"God- that sounds delicious," Olivia said.
Fitz grabbed the remote and played the movie Olivia had paused at the beginning while she waited for him. Just moments after the movie began Sienna woke for milk. Olivia fed her from both breasts until she had her fill and then burped her and laid her in her bouncer. This time, she stayed awake.
Simone brought up their dinner on a tray and they ate, cuddled together on the couch as they finished their movie and Sienna sat in her bouncer, occupied by her pacifier.
Later in the night when they were in bed and Fitz cuddled behind her he decided to finally talk about what happened earlier. Sienna was sleeping in her bassinet just a few feet away from the bed.
"So I overheard you talking to your mom earlier," Fitz began.
It took Olivia a moment to respond.
"How much did you hear?"
"All of it, I think."
"I'm sorry- I was just venting."
"Don't apologize- you venting isn't the problem, the problem is that you think our relationship is so shallow that the moment you can't service my erection I'm gonna go fuck someone else."
"I didn't mean that, at least I don't think I did," Olivia said. "I don't even know why that got into my head today but once it was there I reacted to it."
"I love you and I know there's shit that you're gonna go through that I'll never understand but the very last thing I want you to worry about is our relationship. If we can't fuck for a year until you heal, I'll survive okay. I'll wait as long as you need. I don't care about your scars- I'm a little insulted that you think that but I'm not gonna get on your case about it right now and I don't care that you can never be pregnant again- in a way I'm relieved because I know you'll never go through this again."
Olivia turned around from their cuddling position so she could see him. "Kiss me, I love you."
Fitz smiled and leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips as he caressed her cheek.
"Truly, my mom does hog Sienna so you were completely right about that."
Olivia laughed and shook her head, "goodnight."
"Goodnight," Fitz returned before they both dozed off, snuggled in each other's arms.
A/N - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. Let me know your thoughts.