Footloose
If not us, who? If not now, when?
Sam sat in the passenger seat of the convertible, his arms in the air, while his way past shoulder length hair, flowed like a cape as the wind blew it off his face "I feel… free" he screamed in the air
"It's about damn time" Arite revved the car as it sped down the highway, happy Sam had taken his advice and ditched the yearlong noose for the open road, at least for now "Tennessee here we come"
"As I think about it, I'm not sure I want this weekend of freedom"
"What the…" Artie slammed the breaks on "What the fuck dude?" he asked as they lunged forward with the force of the break "What happened to, I'm fed up with her dwelling on shit that happened months ago?"
"I am fed up with that, but we have an amazing connection, and we have lots of happy times"
"I think you need a trip down memory lane" Artie shook his head "No sex, not cleaning the house, not wanting to do things together, the washing, cooking, doesn't want you to touch her, need I go on?"
"All those things happened; and I remember them, but she suffers when it's her time of the month"
"So, for two weeks in every month you have to suffer too?" Artie rolled his eyes "Dude please" he turned the ignition to start the car again "I don't get you" he put his foot on the gas
"What don't you get, I was the nag" Sam hissed at him "I was the one having a go at her about that shit"
"So, she tells you that you're to blame, classic narcissist traits, that's what she is a fucking narcissist"
"She's not fully at fault, I mean, I have a stressful job, which means I'm not always at my best when I get home, I don't give her attention when she wants it, most the time, but when saying that she's had more attention than any other girl I've ever dated"
"A man can't give what he hasn't got"
"True" Sam shrugged his shoulders "But when he's got it and refuses to give it" he warned
"Come on let's get this boys weekend started" Artie turned the stereo up and put his foot harder on the gas, it was time to blow off some cobwebs, forget about the draining relationships, and get footloose and fancy free "Remember back in the day when we used to have those pizza competitions?"
"You didn't win then and you sure as hell wouldn't win now" Sam laughed
"I've been practicing" Artie warned "And trust me I'm good at it"
"Why would you want to get good at something like that after what; eleven years?"
"Because I knew the opportunity would come again when I'd get the chance to whoop your ass" he laughed
"Bring it on" Sam laughed
"Talking about food, do you remember those dates we took to the chicken shop once?"
"No"
"Sure, you do, we were looking for dates for the college ball and we ended up inviting that leggy blond, and that gorgeous, tanned God to eat with us, fit as fuck, we were trying to build the courage up to ask them to be our dates, they ate so much fucking chicken we left them to pay the damn bill"
"Oh shit, yeah" he laughed "Man they could eat"
"That was a life lesson for me" Artie laughed "I still test dates like that, what they eat on a first date"
"I stopped that shit after…"
"Don't say her name, you'll spoil the vibe"
"We shared the bill" he smiled "And until that happened I didn't know what I was expecting from that ritual"
"I guess I'll go for a drink the next time around"
"Seriously, you're my best bro, but I'm not taking relationship tips from you" he took his phone off the dash as it started buzzing "Shit" he hissed
"Dude tell her you're on a guys weekend already?"
"She sent me her new song"
"Come on, you're not falling for that shit are you?"
"I always give her notes"
"You guys are arguing; she'll need to find some other sucker to bounce off for the weekend"
"I'm not a sucker" Sam snapped
"You know what I mean" Artie rolled his eyes knowing he was going about this the wrong way, he knew his friend had some deep feelings for this girl, even though he'd got a hard time understanding why
"No, I don't" Artie knew by the tone that his friend was offended
"Sorry dude, my bad" his eyes focused on the road ahead while he listened to Sam bluetooth his phone and the song belted out
Artie hadn't heard her raw voice for the longest time, he tended to stay away from his friend when he was in relationships, he was what everyone called a bad omen, he'd never been the settling kind, ever since his heart got broken when he was in high school. After that experience he couldn't see the point in giving everything to one person just to have them squeeze the life out of it, throw it on the floor and stamp on it before moving on to the next victim in front of his face.
There was no denying, she sounded like an angel, he could understand why his friend was having a hard time ripping himself away from her, she had flaws, everyone did, but if Sam was ever to ask him his true opinion he'd have to tell him she was perfect for him, the downside of doing that would be that he'd be on his own right now, and that was one thing he couldn't take right now.
"Good isn't it?" Sam looked across at him smiling
"Yeah" was all he had, because that was the only response there was, they sat listening to the song
Sam rested his head on the headrest and closed his eyes there were so many undone things he'd left behind for this frivolous weekend, and most of them really didn't matter, but somehow, leaving her right in the middle of closing on her album seemed altogether wrong, he was guilt ridden.
He'd started the argument on purpose feeling the need for some freedom, after weeks of her trying to pin him down to have what she called a serious conversation. Everything had happened so fast for them, they fell in love almost instantly, moved in together after four short months, everything had come so naturally, it was just what they wanted. Neither of them had envisaged the stress such a commitment would have on their careers, but if nothing else they were determined to fight for what they had, nevertheless; everything was going too fast right now, he was super stressed with work, they both were, he needed this window.
He turned to look at Artie, he was his best friend, but sometimes he wondered who's best interest the guy had at heart. There were a lot of maybe's around that last conversation he'd had with her, a lot of it Artie had fuelled, he felt like he was being torn between the two of them. He'd told her he was losing himself, told her she was stifling him, that he needed to work his shit out, all of it Artie's words. When she finally asked him how long for, he didn't have an answer, the silence was deafening, she looked defeated, so much so she just wished he had a nice time, half kissed him and walked away.
Anyone worth their salt is going to take offense to a response like that, it didn't help that everything Artie had drummed into him before the conversation came out his mouth as if they were his own words. He'd told her horrible untruths which now he knew was because he'd wanted her to demand that he not go, be mad enough for him not to want to leave, but it hadn't worked, he was in Artie's car. He had some stuff to work out with her when he got back, but he had some stuff to work out with his friend, he wasn't going to play this game every time his friend wanted his attention.
He shook his head smiling at himself because he knew how she worked with arguments, she'd write a song about it, sing it, record it, and leave it there. He on the other hand had to seethe about it for a few days before he saw all sides, get into his sorry mode, and then write a song about it, not record it, because he wore his heart on his sleeve, so in private he'd sing it to her, and that always left them in a place that was better than make up sex.
But this time it felt like things had gone way past a song to plaster things over, he'd said some things he couldn't take back and there was no guarantee she was going to forgive him on those
"She's brilliant isn't she?"
"Whatever" Artie's tone full of attitude
"What do you really think of her, I mean did you ever like her?"
"Did I have to like her, wasn't she your girl?"
"No, you don't" Sam looked at him "Does that mean you didn't?"
"To be honest there's nothing specific, she was better than most but" he looked at his friend "No, I don't like her"
"Why?"
"Maybe because she took you away from me, not like that, I mean we used to have fun, partners came second and then she came along, and you changed"
"Changed?"
"Yeah" Artie banged the steering wheel "Because of her, she makes you do all this stupid shit, you don't want to hang out anymore, she's controlling"
"That might be what you see, but it's not true" Sam smiled trying to keep control of the situation he'd ignited "It happened for me dude, I fell in love"
"Love?" Artie asked him "What do we know about love?"
"I didn't know anything about it until I met her"
"We agreed if we thought any partner deserved the fuck off finger we'd tell each other, and I plain didn't like what she was doing to your head, I gave her the finger years ago, you took no notice"
"Honestly dude, if you'd stayed around to get to know her, you'd know she wasn't anything like what you think" Sam huffed "In fact she only ever encouraged me to keep in touch with you"
"That's the kind of shit narcissists do"
"She's not a narcissist" he snapped
"I'm thinking you're too close to realise"
"She's not" he looked at his friend "Since the day I met her she's done nothing but encourage me to be the best version of myself, supported me to go for my dreams, she cares about me"
"I care about you"
"And I care about you dude, but I love her"
"How do you know?"
"How did you know you were in love back then?"
"I didn't until he broke my damn heart"
"Well it hit me like a freaking cannonball" he laughed "I mean one minute I was playing the tough boy, nothing gets through and all that, and the next I was waking up to make her breakfast, missing her even at the thought of her going off on tours, or me going off on locations, we call each other and sit talking for hours even after a year of being together, it's crazy" he looked at his friend "Even now, I'm trying my best, but it's been nearly three hours since we haven't spoken and it's killing me"
"So, what are you saying?"
"I can't deny it dude, this is love"
"I must admit, I regret not going after him back then, I should have fought for him, but I thought I was showing weakness"
"Call me stupid, but being in love makes me stronger, vulnerable, happy" Sam laughed "Sometimes I get such a kick from it I want to shout it from the rooftops" he laughed again "If you could have done one thing different that day, what would you have done?"
"Told him I guess; he didn't know I loved him"
"You said it all the time" Sam looked at him shocked
"I'd say things like I love your smile, I love that you said that, or I love the way you do that, but I never stood in front of him, serious like, and said the words I love you, never"
"Why did I not know that?"
"I've always been good at playing things down" he took his eyes off the road to look at his friend "This conversation is getting a bit deep don't you think?"
"No deeper than it needs to be" Sam smiled "I mean I can't help being all up in my feelings right now" he rubbed the palms of his hands together "Regardless of what's happening for us right now, I know I love her"
"I'm not turning back; we're still doing this trip"
"I didn't say she'd be willing to take me back" he laughed "I said some pretty fucked up things"
"Those words, when I die the first person I'll be looking to fuck with is you, pretty strong stuff"
"I didn't say that did I?" Sam looked at Artie shocked
"No, I did" he frowned "What you said to her was much tamer" he shook his head "She'll have you back"
"I wished I was that confident"
"Beer?" Artie nodded at the lit building
"Sure"
They swerved into the parking lot outside a rustic bar, got out the car, stretching having sat for three hours straight, and walked across the parking lot to the front door. There were very few people sat around the bar, an elderly lady stood behind the bar, and a man about her age slouched on the bar
"Two cold beers please" Arite climbed up onto an empty stool requesting
"Talking about death, it feels like it in here" Sam looked around
"Remind me to write on my will I want noise, whatever the situation, I want noise" Artie laughed
"Stop being so damn dramatic" Sam laughed nodding a thank you at the delivery of their order "And for future reference, you don't need to be jealous of her, you're my best friend, that space is already filled by you, she knows that, and she's hopefully my life partner and you need to know that if I ever get her back, that space will be filled by her" he grabbed Artie's shoulder "And when you find your person I'll know my place too" he tapped his bottle against Artie's smiling
"I don't know that I'll ever settle down, the guys I date are not the settling type" Artie sipped his beer
"Maybe it's the vibe you let off"
"What?" he laughed "I'm single, want to have some fun, come fuck my brains out?" he held his hand out questioningly "Too abrupt?"
"Much" Sam laughed taking a sip of his beer "You need to be sending out a more, looking for love, want to settle down kind of vibe"
"That stuff has its place, but you know me, footloose and fancy free"
"Let's backtrack, what happened the last time you got dumped?"
"Oh, I love this light conversation thing we've got going on" Artie laughed
"I'd like to say this meaningful conversation stuff was all me, but it's not, you'll settle into it when you find your one, you'll see, I'm still scared to have some conversations she wants"
"No, I didn't get dumped, I dumped him"
"What happened?" Sam asked, shocked that he didn't know that
"It just got boring, we were lying in bed, I wasn't feeling anything, and I found myself asking shit questions like are you going to work today" he frowned "In my head thinking get the fuck out of here" he shrugged his shoulders "After a while the words come out your head and through your mouth you know?" he sipped his beer nervous for having opened up like that
"So, he wasn't talking, but did you try?"
"I'm not really a morning person"
"Dude" Sam leaned back on the stool and shook his head "How can you accuse someone of being exactly the same as you, and dump them for it?"
"I thought opposites attracted?"
"You're still in that it's just sex mode from college days aren't you?"
"Is there any other mode?"
"We were kids then footloose with sex on tap, everyone grows up"
"Do they?"
"Remember right after that first break up of yours, we talked about things we wanted to do before we were thirty five?" Sam smiled "I wanted a wife, family, hell I wanted a mini mansion" he laughed "And all you wanted was someone to love you, someone to call your own, no matter how I tried to get you to add to that bucket list, that was all you wanted, what happened to that?" he asked "I mean, apart from he who will not be named"
"I guess I jumped into him with everything I had, and then closed off when it didn't work"
"And I keep telling you, that's not how this love thing works, half the fun is finding it, the other half is working to keep it alive"
"I really couldn't take that hurt again"
"Me finding that with her, is that why you don't like her?"
"Us finding that with anyone"
"Dude, we had this conversation years ago"
"Of course, I know that" Artie grinned "But it doesn't stop me searching for a relationship like ours, I mean you get me, we talk, we're friends"
"And when you find the right person you'll have all of that with them, trust me" he took a long sip of the last of his beer "So, this road trip…?" he changed the subject, hoping he'd got his message across
"…Is me crying for attention" Artie admitted
"Sorry to say dude, but if you'd just let someone in, you wouldn't feel like this"
"I promise I'll try" Artie drained his bottle and banged it on the table "Should we make a move?"
"Yeah" Sam put his empty bottle down and jumped off the stool "Thanks" he smiled at the bartender before they made their way back to the car "Two hundred and ten miles left, about four hours?"
"Yeah"
"I'll drive" Sam held his hand out for the keys, smiling at Artie dropping them in his palm without an argument "Right" he settled into the drivers seat and turned on the ignition "Let's burn this mother" he put his foot on the gas and they were off
"So" Artie started the conversation bored with the silence "You two, was it love at first sight?"
"It was something at first sight" he laughed "It was like meeting someone you knew you knew but didn't know how you knew them"
"Yeah like this energy that moves you from your space to theirs without you even moving?"
"Intense but I get your drift" Sam laughed
"We were so alike, eye for fashion, protective, high; I mean very high sex drive" Artie laughed "We were each other's firsts, that meant something to me"
"It should" Sam looked at him
"We had a lot in common" he looked at Sam who said nothing, he'd acknowledged his friend needed to talk "We were both homebodies you know, loyal, I've never had that with another living soul, except you of course" he smiled at his friend "Unlike all my other conquests we went to the movies on our first date, didn't have enough for dinner" he laughed "Plus I fancied him like crazy"
"I knew that"
"I still" he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet "I still have the ticket stub from that date" he pulled it out his wallet "I fucked up big time" he huffed "Why couldn't I just tell him how I felt?"
"I don't know" was all Sam had to offer, putting his foot on the gas "What would you say to him if he was standing in front of you now?"
"That I was too young, didn't know what I expected from our relationship, that I loved him I just didn't say it out loud, and I'm sorry I made the biggest mistake of my life in letting him go" he smiled "Then he'd grab hold of me, drag me to a dark corner the fuck the hell out of me"
"So, Artie" Sam shook his head smiling at his friend
"What's the matter with you, don't you like sex or something?"
"Of course, I do" Sam laughed "We both do, we're both very physical, we don't have a problem in that area thank you"
"Next you're going to say shit like she's imaginative" Artie rolled his eyes
"She is"
"Up for anything?"
"With me yes" he laughed "You're getting too personal now"
"Domestic bliss" Artie laughed "I don't know whether to be happy for you or envy you"
"Be happy for me dude"
"I think I am" he smiled at Sam side eying him "Honestly, I am" he chuckled "Favourite memories of my time with him" he lay back in the seat "The cuddles, he gave good cuddles" he closed his eyes remembering them.
Sam sat watching the road as the white line became more prevalent as night fell, they were due in Tennessee before nine in the evening, he put his foot down hitting speeds Artie might not have taken too kindly had his eyes been open. His eyes were on the road, but his head was frantically trying to scratch out an apology for when he got back home, for whatever reason he couldn't shake her out of his head long enough to concentrate on his friend.
"Dude" he nudged Artie to wake up hours later
"Shit, sorry" Artie passed his hands over his face "I left you hanging"
"It's fine" Sam laughed "We're here and in good time"
"Time to party" Artie sat up rubbing his hands together, before he opened the car door "Got to get to BB's" they just about threw their bags in the hotel room before they were out the door again grabbing a cab this time for a night of merriment. They walked into the bar laughing at the plan they had for the night, Artie's eye caught someone at the bar in the sparce bar "It's him" he gasped "Fuck it's him"
"Who?" Sam looked at him puzzled following his line of sight "Fuck" he gasped "Of all the bars" he watched Artie fly across the room before he followed him. Smiling as the two men stood staring at each other, the look they shared told him this was a welcomed reunion. "Sebastian" he held his hand out to break the ice
"Sam" Sebastian grabbed his hand
"Long time" Sam grinned
"I heard you were down for the weekend, and I had to come"
"Who told you?" Artie finally opened his mouth to ask
"That would be me" she popped into the conversation from nowhere
"Babe" Sam rushed towards her "I'm sorry"
"Me too" she hugged him
"Hold the phone" Artie brought everything back to him "How do you two know each other?"
"Mercy needed a backing singer, I auditioned, we got talking and here I am" he looked into Artie's eyes "Can we talk?"
"Sure" Artie smiled before looking at Sam
"Don't mind me I've got some apologising to do, and I think I know just where to start" he grabbed Mercy's hand, walked towards the band, and whispered something to one of the musicians "You usually do this but…" he let go of her hand "It's not an original, but it is what I feel"
When you're not here, the sun don't shine, when you're not near, I don't feel like, I do when you're with me, it felt like suddenly
Our souls collided, hearts entwined, when I decided, to make you mine I'm never going back, I know that's a fact…
He looked over at Artie and Sebastian deep in conversation, he was singing to his girl, hoping his friend wasn't messing things up
…How do I know if it's love, that I'm speaking of
This is love, if I'm making you breakfast, this is love, if I feel myself coming down, when you're not around
This is love if I think I've gone crazy, this is love, if it seems I don't care at all
That your love hit me like a cannonball 'This Is Love' by Rauly
"We need to talk" he stepped off stage to stand in front of her
"About?" she looked up at him
"My crazy" he smiled
"So" she smiled at him "I'm guessing you said all of that for Artie's benefit?"
"Definitely" he laughed "How did you know?"
"When I asked how long for and you didn't have an answer" she laughed "I figured it was him that needed time not you" she looked at him "I know you wanted me to stop you, but how would that have looked to Artie?"
"Like you needed me"
"Right" she huffed looking over at Artie and Sebastian in deep conversation "He'd probably call me a narcissist"
"He did" Sam frowned "But I put him straight"
"Look" she nodded over at them kissing "I don't think footloose is a word I'm going to able to use for him in the future"
"How about we have that conversation when we get home?"
"Why not now?" she looked around the bar
"Okay" he pulled her to him and kissed her deep, when she pulled away all she could so was smile