You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within

"Here" Sam handed his ticket to the attendant having finally found it

"Nervous?" she asked her eyes flirting, he smiled because he was used to it

"Not of the flight" he assured her "A lady I haven't seen in eight years"

"A special lady?"

"She was"

"So why the nerves?"

"I'm living on feelings we had for each other eight years ago" he laughed nervously "The nerves are about me praying she hasn't lost that love for me"

"First love?"

"No" he smiled "Only"

"I envy her" she looked into his eyes "I mean having someone love you that deep for that long, good luck" she handed him back his ticket and watched him walk away "What a waste" she shook her head, smiling at the romance of it all

Sam boarded the plane, found his seat, hooked up his offline playlist, fastened his seatbelt, closed his eyes, and lay back, he had to get rid of these boyish nerves, and show the man he was today if he was going to rekindle anything.

Flashback from Sam's POV

We started as a real-life fairy tale, boy meets girl, we avoided each other for a hot minute, scared of the feelings, then one day girl catches boy staring, smiles him a yes from across the crowded food hall, and suddenly we both knew we'd found the one. For two years, we were relatively happy until college loomed, and studies got serious, I'm not going to lie, I was jealous of her choosing music over me and I did the boy thing and chose other girls to get back at her, we never really got back to our place after that, one of my biggest regrets.

We fell in love, over one hot spring, that was all it took for me, and since that day, no matter what I did or who I was with, something inside me knew it was only ever going to be her. I've often lay in bed waking up next to some girl thinking about the one that got away, bad to say but it's true, we'd had some good times together, I thought I'd loved many times after her, but she was the only one I truly knew I loved, and that had never changed.

There was something so right about the first time we made love, I knew it was going to last forever and maybe that was what I was waiting for, I was like the guy looking for that first hit again, it wasn't my first time having sex, but hell it was my first time making love. I never forget us getting in the mood, we'd climbed in the window of her bedroom while her parents were in the living room, they must have been dancing or something because loud music was playing, I remember us giggling a lot, we didn't even know it was going all the way until it did, we came back in the room and 'Tonight Is The Night' by Betty Wright, was playing I can still hear it now, every time I think about her

…I'm nervous and I'm trembling, waiting for you to walk in, I'm trying hard to relax, but I just can't keep still, no

I can hear your car door slamming I want to play big girl and put on a sexy smile

But I know so little about what love is, I just can't help actin' like a child…

The way our lives had changed I was almost certain the opportunity for us to meet again would never come around. We'd parted amicably, reluctantly I'd agreed that she went off to music college, while I went off to business college, it was one of those if we ever meet again, leave it to fate kind of partings, I know we'd both hoped to meet again, but you never know with fate.

Then out of the blue six weeks ago, I get this friend notification from her, I'm sure we'd always known how to get in contact with each other, we both were well linked into the various socials, but for her to make the first move, that wasn't the person I knew, I had to respond. I sat watching the request for hours wondering whether to accept, if I was ready to accept, what had happened, scared to hear something I didn't want to hear, but still hoping to hear something else.

'Accept' I finally pressed and held my breath for about a minute, she didn't answer straight away, in fact it was nearly twenty four hours before she did

"Hey, long time' she wrote I was expecting something more personal like hey love of my life, but my response was just as weak

'Hey, it is' I hesitated to think of something non-intrusive to say 'How's things?' I came up with

'Good' she put a smiling face against it 'I recently reconnected with Blaine and Kurt, of course the conversation came onto the four of us and I wondered what you were up to, I thought I'd reach out'

'Been a while since I've thought about us as an us' I put a laughing face against my response

'You know what I mean, I can't forget our history'

"We have history?' another laughing face

'You know what I mean' she sent a few laughing faces making me laugh out loud because in my mind I could see her actual laughing face 'Listen' she wrote making me feel more like she was stood in front of me, I stopped laughing to read what she had to say 'I'm kind of busy right now, but we should keep in touch'

'I agree' I smiled satisfied with that 'Ground rules?'

'Gloves are off, I'm not a prude anymore' she put laughing faces after that, I felt a bit sad about that, we'd made a promise that both of us had broken years ago, but the past was the past, and the future was ahead of us 'Got to go, speak soon'

'Good to hear from you, speak soon'

'Very soon' I gasped at her sending me a single kiss, so much so I sent one back and giggled like a kid for doing it, before sitting to examine the reasons why she would feel a kiss was a suitable farewell response.

The weeks went by with us exchanging messages about our daily lives, over the weeks I became less obsessed with my modelling agency and more consumed by our conversations. We started reminiscing about our time together, there were plenty of good times to talk about, and I felt comfortable with the feelings and the memories, craved them even, long after our conversations physically ended. Then one day we had the conversation I'd been waiting for.

'You' our usual conversation starter came up on my phone

'You' I replied

'Did you tell them we were talking?' she asked

'No' I sent with a frown, wondering who she was talking about

'So, did you get an invite too?'

'Yeah' I wrote back, smiling at the fact that she was talking about Blaine and Kurt, Blaine had asked me to be his best man, so I was over a barrel 'Are you going?'

'Yeah' she wrote with a smiling face 'I'm Kurt's maid of honour, no choice'

'You do know it's traditional for the best man and maid of honour to at least make out at these things?'

'Depends on how the best man looks'

'Much like me' I sent with four laughing faces, there was a long pause it felt like forever, and I imagined all sort of things going on for her in that moment

'I can't lie, I was going to suggest we meet, this just takes the awkward out of it'

'There was an awkward?' I asked trying to sound like I wasn't bricking it at the idea, we had good banter on the phone, but to meet in person that was some next level stuff 'We've slept in the same bed many times may I remind you'

'I remember' she replied with a smiling face with heart eyes 'Very well' I couldn't help but punch the air at that victory

'Me too' I sent the winking eye with the tongue out, she sent back a load of flushed faces, making me laugh

'Got to get back to work, sorry' she wrote with a sad face 'Speak soon' she sent the usual end of conversation kiss

'Soon' I sent her one back

There had been many conversations just like those over the weeks, but then the week before the wedding, communication slowed and the past two days there hadn't been any. I'd marked it up to her rushing to get things closed off before she took the weekend, sometimes, especially if she was in the studio, that would be the case, doing some crazy hours to meet a deadline early was common.

The night before the flight I thought I had it all together, I did my usual routine, I wasn't scared of flying, I did it at least once a week between my two chains. My bags were packed, my suit was ready and hanging, I'd gotten a fresh cut, not that I ever let myself go like that, but when you're meeting the girl of your dreams for the first time after eight years, you make the effort. I'd even contemplated not making the trip, I was so nervous, but now I was here taking a deep breath, hooking myself up to some soulful music and getting ready for the impact, we were great on media, but how were we going to be face to face.

End of Flashback

"Have you fastened your seatbelt?" the attendant tapped his shoulder asking

"Yep" his eyes flashed open as his hand flicked the strap proving that to her "All set" he smiled before closing his eyes again, she was singing in his ear, he hadn't got away from listening to her songs since they'd reconnected, it was something he hadn't done in a while in his quest to get on with his life. The three and a half hour flight was quiet, he ate snacks he'd brought with him, fell asleep for a few minutes, smiling at waking up to her music in his ear.

The flight finally ended, he'd gone through check out and he was stood in the arrivals waiting for Blaine to pick him up, they were going straight to his stag night before the wedding, he couldn't get any more time off so they'd left everything till the last minute on this so he could be included

"Dude" Blaine rushed towards him with a smile on his face "Long time"

"Dude" he hugged him back, they had much to catch up on, they'd talked mostly via emails over the years their lives had taken different turns, but seeing each other again felt like they'd seen each other just yesterday, they walked off already in conversation

Flashback from Mercedes' POV

Kurt and I had kept in touch since school, we didn't see each other very often but our media connection was hot, so when he called me seven weeks ago to tell me Blaine and he had finally set the date for their wedding, I was excited we sat talking on the phone for ages.

"Remember the day we met?" he asked me giggling; just after he delivered the news

"Everyone remembers the day you two met, it was so cute" I laughed "You guys are still cute"

"Thank you" his voice sounding loved, if that's at all possible "Talking about cute, and couples.." the hesitation in his voice made me know what he was about to bring up "Your last three relationships haven't worked because you know who is still front and centre, I'm not pushing anything girl, but.."

"I thought you weren't pushing anything?"

"It's an observation" he giggled "Maybe he feels the same, or maybe it's all in your head, but how are you going to know if you don't reach out, I mean eight year is a long time to have someone in your heart like this"

"He was a good friend, a best friend for a while" I hesitated "And yes he was my first love and maybe I just measure everyone against him"

"And none of them stack up because?"

"Because" I sat in silence on the other side of the phone wondering what that was because of "Because they're not him I guess"

"Finally," I could feel Kurt's eyes rolling at me "Diva make the call"

"I'll think about it" I left him with, that was always how that conversation ended

For the next week I battled with my conscience about it, I knew in my heart what I wanted, but for whatever reason it felt like I was backing away from making the first move. I was the one who'd decided we needed to split, because I knew whatever I decided he'd go with it, he'd always told me I called the shots and I relied on that more than he knew.

Nevertheless, I eventually sent the friend request because I knew I was being selfish in not contacting him to myself and Blaine, they'd been good friends at school, and it just didn't seem right that I was going to be the cause of them not seeing each other. Then Blaine called to tell me he was going to reach out to Sam and wanted my blessing, I told him to go head. I cut the call with Blaine off halfway through that conversation when a notification from Sam popped up, I think just knowing he wasn't ignoring me was satisfying.

I can't say I wasn't pleasantly surprised when we relaxed back into friend mode on that first conversation, and I was kind of elated that we'd talked history, exchanged memories of our time together, and even managed to make jokes at each other's expense. I must admit I was thrown when the invites finally arrived it made everything so real for me, I was going to be in his space again, we'd played the game over the phone but what if this man I adored really had lost that love for me.

Two days before the wedding weekend I freaked out, something he's said about the best man and maid of honour had got to me, I was back in month one of our breakup again, I actually dreamt about him I needed him that bad. We were back in my bedroom, they say you never forget your first time and it's true, for me I was lucky enough for it to have been a great experience, we finally came back in the room to the sounds of 'Tonight Is The Night' by Betty Wright although technically my parents were on the other side of the door, it was such a perfect ending to the moment, I fell in love deeper than I'd ever imagined possible

You're knocking on my door and you're ringing my bell, hope you're not impatient after waiting so very long

A whole year I put you off with my silly hang-ups, and we're both old enough to know right from wrong

Tonight, is the night, that you make me a woman, mmm, you said you'll be gentle with me, and I-I hope you will, hmm, mmm

I couldn't hold it all in, so I called Kurt and confided in him "What's to think about?" he asked

"Is he bringing a plus one?"

"I don't think so" he huffed "You want him, don't you?"

"I do, but I'm not throwing myself at him"

"Seeing him stood there will tell you everything you need to know, you know how you two are, you don't hide things, you'll just know diva" he told me "And don't lie"

"I can't lie to his face"

"Listen" Kurt stopped the conversation "I have guest arriving, I'll see you tomorrow six sharp, I'll grab your costume on the way"

"Thanks"

The next day I walked into the airport, excited but nervous, I handed my ticket to the person waiting

"Nervous?" he asked his eyes looking me up and down wishing my clothes away

"Not for the flight" I assured him "It's a guy I haven't seen in eight years"

"The guy?"

"He was"

"So why the nerves?"

"I'm praying he hasn't lost that loving feeling for me"

"Your first love?"

"No" I smiled "Only"

"I envy him" he looked into my eyes, handed me back my ticket, and I could feel him watching me as I walked away, I didn't have a second to think about him, I didn't want to, someone else was heavy on my mind.

The five hour flight went slow, I felt like climbing out of the plane and dragging it across the sky until New York was visible. I resisted of course, and settled for the sandwich, coffee, and sponge cake on offer, getting some sleep until the wheels touched the tarmac with a bump. I went through check out and grabbed a cab to make my way over to Kurt, we were going to check on the wedding venue before joining Sam and Blaine for their planned stag evening.

Now all that was done, I'd put on this ridiculous flowered dress Kurt had rented for me, and we were on our way over to the venue, I was shaking with excitement and fear I guess, but I just needed to touch him, to feel if what we had was real, to see his reaction and know, we were meant to be, and our love hadn't broken.

End of flashback

"Ready?" Kurt asked Mercy as the car pulled up outside the venue

"It's small"

"It's not a big thing, we don't have that many friends; that mean anything enough for us to send them a wedding invite I mean" Kurt looked at her "That's why it was important to have you here"

"I'm honoured"

Mercy walked in thinking she knew what to expect, but when she saw all the men in black suits with top hats, and the women in similar flowery dresses and lavish hats she was pleasantly surprised. It felt like neither had actually won the conversation about themes and maybe they'd learned to compromise, making her smile at yet another reason to think her two dear friends were ready for this venture

"We're re-enacting our day at the Ascot from our trip to England" he took a fancy hat off the table at the entrance and gave it to her, she was too busy thinking about other things she didn't have time to question Kurt's choice, she just grabbed the hat and put it on.

Her eyes searched the room, but amongst the hats it was hard to make anyone out "Mercedes" Blaine came up to her with his arms open "Great to see you"

"You too" she grinned hugging him "You ready for tomorrow?"

"Never more" he looked at Kurt "Can't wait for this one to be all mine forever" he grabbed hold of him, kissing him his hello "And your boy is just as nervous as you over there" he nodded at Sam sitting on the stool at the bar

It felt like that path to him just opened up, a second ago she couldn't see through the crowd, now she could see him looking at her pulling her towards him with his eyes. Her first feeling was panic, but in that moment, she realised she was a different person, she'd grown, and like it or not, he had something to do with that, in loving her the way he did. She felt proud of the fact that she'd turned her life into exactly what she wanted it to be because he'd allowed her to pursue her dream, by not fighting against her decision to leave.

He sat on the stool until he realised, she was walking towards him, he quickly got up, unable to stop the grin on his face, she was definitely his first and only love. He'd said those three little words that seem to mean the world to a woman lots of times, and thought he'd meant them on many occasions, but looking at her walking towards him right now he realised all those were sideliners. She'd always been his world, those feelings with other women didn't mean as much as this right here did, he still loved her, he hadn't lost this feeling for her.

"You" he smiled as she got closer, opening his arms for her to fall into

"You" she smiled back at him, welcoming the hug he had for her "Just like I remembered" she looked up at him, just long enough for him to quickly kiss her cheek

"You look fantastic" he looked down at her taking everything in

"You" she poked his chest "Are everything I imagined you'd be too"

"I've lost the emotional fuzz ball thing" he laughed "Can you tell?"

"Well at least three guys checked me out on the way over here, and you didn't bite that bottom lip of yours once" she laughed "And I no longer watch every girl in your radar"

"Only have eyes…"

"We'll see" she giggled "So, top modelling agency owner, did you get that new office off the mark?"

"I now have a new office in Florida" he raked his hand through his hair smiling

"Get you" she frowned at him impressed

"And you" he looked at her still smiling "Grammy, MOBO, Olivier, and the list goes on winner" he laughed "I'm guessing you finished the album?""

"I've even added a song about you?" she giggled

"You wrote a song about me?" he frowned "I thought all your songs were about me"

"Whatever" she laughed

"Drink?" he showed her a seat "We've got a lot of catching up to do"

"Sure" she took the seat he offered "We never stopped, did we? I mean..."

"No" he smiled sitting next to her "And, I don't think I want to"

"I don't think I was wrong in what I did back then, I think we'd invested much too much in each other, and it would have stopped one or the other of us from making the choices we made"

"I agree, and you know it hurt like hell to walk away without arguing"

"I can admit now that I couldn't have done it if you had"

"I think somewhere inside I knew that"

"But looking at where you are now, I don't regret not one single thing of it" she touched his hand "I'm so proud of you"

"I love you Mercedes, and that's not something that's going away any time soon"

"I don't want it to" she smiled "I love you too Sam Evans"

"You know how this works for us" his eyes glistening with joy

"Let's get this wedding over with first, shall we?"

"We should" he looked over at Blaine and Kurt doing their rounds

They didn't stray far from each other all evening, getting to know Kurt and Blaine's family and new friends, the night ending with them being separated to do their best man and maid of honour duties.

'Feels like it's the night before our wedding night' she texted him before she closed her eyes

'Treat it like it is' he sent back with a kiss

The next day everyone was in wedding mode, for them it felt like the beginning again, as they walked around giving each other sly looks, smiles, and Mercedes actually blew him a kiss at one point. After the speeches they were relieved when the dancing started so they could sneak away from it all

"I know what I'm feeling, but what are you thinking?" she asked as they stood on the balcony looking out at the well-kept grounds

"I'm thinking" he turned to look at her "After all this time, who would have thought we'd end up right back here?" he grabbed her hand "And still in love"

"I know" she giggled "Life, if nothing else has a habit of being unpredictable"

"Just like you"

"Just like us" she looked up at him "Back then I didn't think I could be all about you and the music"

"And I didn't want you to be about anything else but me, how selfish"

"But now?" she asked

"Now I know I needed to be about me to make me better for you, and I get why you did what you did"

"Did you tell them about this song?" he looked back at the reception room shocked

"No" she laughed "But we have to dance" she grabbed his other hand "Come on" she pulled him to her

"You actually remember this song then?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she looked up at him asking "I fell in love to this song"

…You're knocking on my door and you're ringing my bell, hope you're not impatient after waiting so very long

A whole year I put you off with my silly hang-ups, and we're both old enough to know right from wrong

"We fell in love to this song" he corrected her "I want this moment back"

"I need this moment back" she looked into his eyes as the song played

Tonight, is the night. that you make me a woman, mmm, you said you'll be gentle with me, and I-I hope you will, hmm, mmm

I'm nervous and I'm trembling', waiting' for you to walk in, I'm trying' hard to relax,

But I just can't keep still… 'Tonight Is the Night' by Betty Wright

"I want to take this to where it belongs"

"I can't promise my bedroom, but a bedroom" she grabbed his collar "I've got this" she pulling him with her