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Things never work out if you take them for granted

"Sam" Mercy called softly as she turned to see him still seeping "Sam" she shook him softly

"Babe?" Sam smiled for waking up to his wife smiling down at him

"I think today's the day you're going to be a daddy" Mercy grinned

"I'm... seriously? He sat up" looking at her "It's too early"

"Three weeks I know, but I've just had the call"

"Shit" he jumped out of bed looking around "Key?" he looked at her blankly

"Calm down" she giggled "There's hours yet"

"Gosh" he sat on the bed and looked at her "I'm sorry" he tried to reign his excitement in

"If you say sorry once more, we know the situation, and we agreed to work with what we have, didn't we?"

"Yes" he frowned "But I still wish we only had this one to think about" he touched her growing baby bump

"Don't do that" she pulled away from him "Callum's as much wanted as this one"

"We need a name" he rubbed her tummy "She can't just be called this one"

Flashback

They'd originally met with Diane and Blake ten months ago, while they were at an appointment at their doctor's fertility office, her long weaved hair pulled back from her plump, high cheekbones with perfect fades, and infectious smile drew them in. At first, they didn't know what was happening, they did think it odd that she was alone, but as the day moved on, they got chatting. Diane talked as if the idea of carrying a baby in her body for someone else was no more than babysitting for a while.

The Evans' had five failed IVF's, enough miscarriages to last them a lifetime of heartbreak, and to make things worse their fortieth birthdays was coming up, they felt time was against them. When they finally got talking and the doctor and Blake joined them, they understood that their doctor had taken their last conversation very seriously and took it upon herself to invite a surrogate to the appointment. When Diane turned out to be just who they were looking for, they took to her like ducks to water, they went home that night, talked about it and agreed she was the one, Sam made the call the next morning.

That spring, they woke up one morning and everything seemed to be doing what it should, the bees were pollinating, nature was taking its course, and Mercy's monthly FSH level was fourteen, which was great, they were excited with hope. When they got to the clinic, they were happy to know that Diane's cycle was syncronised with Mercy's making them certain she was the one, within the month it was agreed that from a biological perspective, they were ready to go.

"So, we're agreed?" the doctor asked Mercy looked at Sam nervously

"I think we need to do some more talking" Sam advised the doctor "Could we have twenty-four hours?"

"Sure" Diane smiled "It's a big step, I get that"

They hadn't got in the car before the conversation they needed happened "Babe" Mercy sat in the passenger seat flicking through the leaflet they'd been given "Do you think this has all gone too smooth to be true?"

"You want us to get a solicitor to look over all this?"

"Yeah, I want her investigated, hell I want the doctor investigated, it's not about the money..."

"It's about our child, I know" he nodded in agreement "That's going to take more than twenty four hours"

"So, we wait another month, no big deal" she smiled "I feel like we've been driven by our emotions all through this, and don't get me wrong, I agree with all of this, I just don't want anything to go wrong, and it be our fault"

"I agree" he touched her hand, seeing she was stressing about it "I'll get onto Artie, see if he knows anyone that can act fast on this"

"Thanks" she closed the booklet and settled back into the seat

It was nearing a week later when they finally got the nod from Mike, a friend of Artie's who was a Private Eye, that Diane was legitimate, and Artie had gone over the contract with a fine-tooth comb and there were no loopholes. They were more confident about the contract now than they were a week ago, Artie had talked them through what to look out for, they were ready to confirm the go ahead. At the next meeting paperwork was signed, the usual matrix for moving forwards was set, the psychological examinations and a very detailed payment schedules were agreed, it was all very mechanical, but their focus was on the result.

Diane's Story

I find it hard to explain the journey called surrogacy, I became interested in becoming a surrogate right after watching my older sister who had blessed a family with twins after they'd tried for over twelve years themselves. Being a part of that journey with her, and for them, was heartwarming, and to be there for the welcoming of those little mites as they came into the world, was an experience I will never forget.

After Blake and I completed our family with our second child, I started researching into becoming a surrogate myself, of course I spoke to my sister who was very much for it, but insisted I get Blake on board before I did anything else. I was taken aback with his willingness and understanding about the situation, like me he couldn't imagine living a life without our children and willingly wanted to support me in providing that for a couple who couldn't

We researched agencies, looking at their policies and procedures, how the different agencies measured up against lawful practice, and eventually hooked up with an agency. We chose the agency because from the minute we walked in we were treated with kindness, humanity and the entire team was so professional, in addition we were assigned to a great case manager, Tina, who kept in contact with us almost on a daily basis.

Along the way we learned that some surrogates were more concerned about the money and instructed their lawyer's as such, they tended to work with lots of agencies in order to get the best deals, we were fine with Tina. She made it so we had the opportunity to select our own family as well as the family selecting us, Blake was involved in things every step of the way, and we had agreed it was important for us to feel comfortable and happy with where the baby was going.

There were a couple of pairings prior to meeting Mercy and Sam, the situation was made all the easier because they didn't know why I was there, so they were just being themselves. I was drawn to them at once and all I wanted for them was for them to have the family they'd waited over fourteen years for, Blake joined us at that first meeting, and all of us got on like a house on fire it was meant to be. It wasn't until everything was signed that we really started talking, there were weekly emails about everything it was a first for both of us, Mercy was super nervous about being a mother and routinely asked questions about recipes, vaccinations, and even formulars. We'd built a unique friendship, all centred around preparing for their child, even before conception.

I started the medications, and between our support network, which consisted of professionals as well as the doting parents, everything was set to go. There first transfer didn't take, and everyone was upset, looking for reasons why when we'd done everything by the book, we did the next one the following month and in august that year, it was confirmed that I was pregnant. It was the most amazing feeling knowing everything was on its way, I couldn't believe the outpouring of love from their family, as we awaited the arrival of the little addition.

They were dedicated parents, took their turn with the night shopping, Mercy rubbed my back while I went through morning sickness that seemed to come on any time of the day or night, and Sam, with Blake's permission did my foot rubs. Month seven and everything went sour, Blake was in a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, it was a really difficult time for us, and the baby situation need not have been there to be honest. There were rough times for us, and for the Evans' if I'm honest, I stopped contact, started talking about scraping the contract my head was everywhere.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I walked into our home to find Blake had decided that his life wasn't worth living and took it away from us. That wasn't the time to be thinking about other's, I had too much going on in my own life, once a happily married mother of two beautiful children, I now found myself alone with two children depending on me to be their mother, I had barely enough money to get me through the month. I think desperation made me jump back into life, the children needed their mother and their mother needed to provide. The Evans' were still sending money, popping by every other day and then in the midst of all my misery, they gave me the welcomed but unwelcome news

"I don't know how, well we do" Mercy rolled her eyes "We stopped trying about two years ago, so we thought something was wrong" she smiled "But, we're pregnant" she screamed …"

"So, you don't want...?" the panic of losing my only income right now showing

"Of course, we do, this is our first born, we thought we'd call him Callum" Mercy told me as she grabbed my hand, it felt comforting, genuine even

"You chose a name then?" I rubbed my tummy smiling

"We had to do something while you wouldn't let us help" Sam told her "Anything you need, we're here for you, you know that right?"

Sam took me home after that meeting and I guess I just thought he was so nice to me, I misread his kindness for something else. I'd like to say the attachment grew on me, but it didn't, within an instant it was just there, it made sense at the time, Blake was gone, I was carrying Sam's baby, it seemed natural that I should cling to him. I don't know if Mercy even realised what was happening, she just trusted him I suppose, trusted us, and I became obsessed with betraying that trust.

"Diane" he pulled away from me as I tried to show him affection "I've never acted in a way that would make you think doing something like that was possible"

"I'm sure you've noticed I like you, a lot" I stammered shocked at his reaction "I mean we go to baby clinic together; you attend a lot of appointments with me"

"Because Mercy thought we should spare you all the questions if she turned up and Blake wasn't there" he huffed "Plus she's pregnant, we're working around you with our appointments" he looked at her "I love my wife Diane"

"I'm sorry" I flopped on the couch "Sometimes I don't know why I do things; it might be baby brain" I laughed it off

"It might be better if Mercy comes with you in future"

"Please, don't tell her, I feel so stupid"

"I'm not about to keep something like this from my wife, that's not how we work" he spat at me like I'd just reeled off a load of swear words at him

"Sorry" I watched him walk away, instantly feeling sick to my stomach

That evening I got a call from Mercy asking me to come over, bring the children, saying maybe we should have dinner together and discuss the situation, I knew he'd told her, and I knew I couldn't avoid the situation I was carrying their child. It didn't go anything like I'd imagined, Mercy wasn't angry, she understood, even made a joke of being offended if I didn't fancy her man, but by the end of the night her message was clear, what was hers was staying that way.

Everything went as Sam had said it would, after that, Mercy and I were inseparable, antenatal classes, baby yoga everywhere, he rarely got involved in things concerning me, I suppose he needed to create that boundary between us. My life slowly started to make sense again, little Callum was growing nicely, I was more present for my children, I was coming back. It felt sudden when the week of my due date jumped in front of us, part of me sad to lose the friendship we'd bult the other part happy Sam and Mercy were getting the family they so deserved.

I can't lie for me surrogacy was in the main a great experience, when Blake was around, we were considering doing it again for another family, or maybe even the Evans' but I can't lie now I was alone with so much to think about I was finding myself getting attached to the tiny mite inside me. It wasn't the kind of attachment I'd felt towards my own children, it was more an attachment to the condition of being pregnant, the adventure of being pampered, the focus of me being the most important person to so many people, it was addictive.

With just one month left to go I felt sad, not all the time but most of it, the children had gone to stay with Blake's parents, they'd done that a lot since he'd passed. I was out midnight shopping for my usual gherkins and cheese snacks. I'd usually call Mercy who would send Sam out in the middle of the night to get them for me, and of course a little something for her too, but since the debacle that had stopped, and as far as they were aware my midnight snacking had stopped too.

"Lady" I heard as I stooped, looking at something I thought I'd fancy, I turned to see an elderly woman standing behind me pointing at something "I think it's your time" she smiled

"No" I laughed "I've got another month" I waved her off, laughing in my head at the woman thinking I was about to give birth stooped in the store

"I don't think so" she pointed again, I smiled and looked down to see I was stooped in a pool of water "Shit" I sprung up "My waters broke, it's too soon" panic set in straight away, I was used to having Blake there for moments like this, I would never have been out alone like this if he'd been here.

"You got someone you can call lady?" the woman asked, I heard her, but it took me a minute or so to answer her, Blake was so heavy on my mind

"Yeah" I smiled taking my phone out while my mind tried to justify me being out alone at this time of night before Mercy answered the phone, the phone rang out the first time, but she answered quickly on the second try "Mercy" I gasped trying for the sympathy card. "Callum's on the way"

"What now?" She whispered "It's not..."

"My waters have broken, I'm in the store on main, I need to get home and collect some things before I go in"

"What were you doing at the store?" she asked "I mean, we're on our way" she said before the phone went dead and I must admit I was relieved it had ended there

I should have known really, I'd been measuring big for the past two weeks, and the last ultrasound had predicted the little one hadn't stopped growing yet, and even then, we were looking at a nine pounder, Mercy had been concerned I was going to need a c-section but again this little one had proved us all wrong

"Would you like me to stay with you until your husband gets here?"

"Please" I smiled, unwilling to divulge my life story, or explain what the dynamics was when Sam and Mercy turned up with their own baby bump. "I'm not in any pain though" I felt I needed to let her know. So, this was it, I was having their baby and soon I'd be alone with my own children again thinking about Blake and all the things we didn't get to do.

Mercy made me laugh walking into the store with a packet of super absorbent pads, but I had no shame at this point, I grabbed the couple she'd taken out the packet, and wacked them between my legs "Are you in pain?" she asked hugging me "Sorry we weren't here" she whispered in my ear

"It's fine, I'm not in any pain, just my waters have gone" I saw Sam coming in with a blanket, it had been a while since I'd seen him, he seemed even more handsome today than he ever had, it made me smile "Hello stranger"

"I hear our sons on his way?" he looked at me concerned, but not for me "Do you need a hand up?" he got behind me and pulled me up by hooking his arms under my armpits, before I could answer, then threw the banket over my shoulders and moved away

"Thanks" I smiled knowing my place

"Let's take this slow" Mercy grabbed my arm and walked me to the car; trying to cover the awkward moment, she sat in the back with me while Sam made the journey, first home and then to the hospital.

"What is this song?" I asked of the rather calming ballad coming through the speakers

"It keeps Mercy calm" Sam looked over and smiled at his wife, I was so jealous, I think if I'd have been lighter skinned, I would have been called out, I didn't reply for fear of saying the absolute wrong thing, like them I sat in silence listening to the smooth sound

"This one's 'Take My Heart' by The Teskey Brothers" he smiled at me turning it up, my stomach went to jelly

...So, take my heart and cut it into two, after all, the only thing missing from me was you
You're all I want, you're all I need, you're the air I breathe, cause after all, the only thing missing from me was you

So, take my eyes cause after all, they're useless, oh, just one look at you, it's all they ever want to do
And take my time, cause, I no longer need it, after all the time I've had, all I got left is for you...

"The words are beautiful" I finally managed because they were, in fact they brought me to tears remembering that someone thought that about me once, and now he was gone. The fifteen-minute journey seemed to fly by as we listened to Sam's calming playlist for Mercy, I suppose I was getting the benefit too, but the looks they shared made me feel like I was imposing on a moment.

By the time I settled in and finished all my checks I was already four centimeters and still no sign of any pain, Mercy stood by my side answering every question asked about their child as if she were the one laying there. She sat on the bed while Sam leaned against the wall to the side of me, his face lifeless, something was going on for him, but it really wasn't my place to ask

"Babe" Mercy finally looked over at him "Will you grab me some water please?"

"Sure" he bounced off the wall and walked out the room

"Is everything alright?" I took the opportunity to ask Mercy

"He's fine" she smiled "I don't think he's over that move you made, he just doesn't want to give any wrong signals"

"We're so past that" I lied

"He'll be fine" Mercy smiled at me, all I could think was sure he will once this baby is out of me, and he never has to bless eyes on me again "You'll be alright for a minute, won't you?" she jumped up and left the room without my answer, something was wrong

Sam & Mercy

"Babe" she caught him down the corridor by the drinks machine "We need to talk"

"What's happened?" he looked at her worried

"Nothing, everything's alright" she grabbed his arm "I just need to talk" she looked around for somewhere private "Can we?" she pointed at a door leading to a courtyard on the opposite side to where Diane's room was, watching him walk past her to push the door open for her

"What's up?" he asked watching her sit on the bench before he sat down

"I know I promised to take care of things with Diane until Callum came along, but" she looked into his eyes "I don't think I can be there for her through this part" she huffed "I... if she has a bad experience that's going to mess my head up and I …"

"It's fine, I understand" he grabbed her hand "I was thinking the same thing, but I'm not going in there with her alone, I can tell she's not over this whatever it is she's got about me, and I'm not feeding it"

"She can't be on her own"

"Don't ask me to do this babe"

"Sam" Mercy's voice trying to bring reason to the conversation "She can't be alone in this, we promised"

"I can't..."

"How about I stay until it gets too much and then, maybe at the last minute you go in?"

"How about she's not in pain now and she might still not be in pain when Callum comes and then you can be there all the time"

"That's plan A babe, promise you'll be there if we need plan B?"

"I'll always be there for you, Callum and..."

"Alysha" she smiled "I've decided to go with your choice"

"Callum, Alysha, Mercy, and Sam" he smiled "We go together"

"Well, it all starts with getting Callum here, so..."

"Let's go welcome Callum" he got up and held his hand out for her to grab, rubbing their baby bump as he walked behind her hugging them both

"Hey" she smiled as he let go of her to grab her water from the machine "We're going to be parents today"

"We are" he grinned "Did I tell you how much I love my baby's mama"

"It's been a while" she giggled

"I love you" he hugged her

"That's good because I love the hell out of my baby's daddy" she looked up at him "Let's do this" they walked back into the room to Diane cringing with pain "What's happening?"

"It's called labour" Diane replied sarcastically

Diane's Story

It had been more than ten minutes since she went out the room to go be with Sam, how dare she rub her shit in my face like that, she said she understood what I was going through but clearly not. I heard them before I saw them the excitement in their voices rubbed me up the wrong way, I was starting to feel twinges but not as much as I decided to exaggerate, I was up for a full performance.

"Sorry it's the pain" I moved around uncomfortably

"It's fine" Mercy came back at me with, she had the patience of a saint

An hour later and it seemed like that acting had paid off big time I was really feeling some labour pains, I tried my best to keep things under wraps I was thinking of Mercy having to go through this in a couple of months and didn't want to leave her traumatised.

"Oh my God" I screamed as I felt the child crowning

"Okay" the midwife took control of the situation

"Sam" I heard Mercy call, my eyes opened instantly, the pain seemed to dull into the distance as I watched him walk into the room "Plan B" she told him, he nodded his head and walked towards me

"What's happening?" I asked more surprised than upset

"Sam's going to be with you" Mercy told me "Take care of our Boy" she turned and walked away, even now all I could think was that I wouldn't mind looking after both her boys, and did that woman really know what she had.

"Oh my God" I screamed again when the pain came back "Help" I looked into Sam's vacant eyes begging

"I'm here" he grabbed my hand "Push" he ordered and of course I only wanted to please him I pushed, hard and long

"Heads out" I heard the midwife telling him "One more push" she looked at me

I did it, within seconds he was out, I looked up to see Sam's eyes full of tears, as he stood witnessing his son coming into the world, "I did that" I looked up at him smiling

"Thank you" he squeezed my hand and walked towards the baby "Mercy" he called tapping the window "He's here" he told her, just as the little mite started to cry. I lay exhausted on the bed watching the moment their family grew, my heart swelled for them, I was proud to have been a part of it. They stood over the crib watching as the midwife checked everything was as it should be, explaining to them that they'd want him in ICU for now, just in case, because he was premature, and then he was gone.

Eventually Mercy's attention was drawn to me "Are you alright Diane?" I wanted to scream I'd just been through the fourth traumatic thing in my damn life, plus the man I love is walking away with you, what do you think, but all I could muster was

"I'm fine, you guys go be with your son"

"Thank you" Mercy hugged me

"Yeah, thank you" Sam half smiled behind her

Six weeks later we actually met up again, we'd had calls, but face to face wasn't happening, that day we were signing official paperwork, it all seemed so technical, as if the past 10 months hadn't happened, my fault I guess, but I'd do it all again to see a family as happy as they are now. They were a family, and they were happy, I could only see Callum's little hand sticking out of his baby coat, but he sounded content, Sam looking at his son with pure adoration, while Mercy bottle fed him, whispering to him, that was my satisfaction, I'd done that.

"Good luck with everything" I smiled pushing the document across the table to them

"Thank you for your help" Sam smiled