Anthony Bridgerton was so ready to die. Some parts of him always fear that he will die young, like his father.
He was ready to die when he challenged his best friend for a duel, knowing perfectly well that out of the two of them, he had the better shot.
He was definitely ready to die now because he could not bear a life where he hated his wife as much as he loved her.
He was ready to die when he pulled the trigger, welcoming a bullet to pierce his heart and end his misery.
He was not ready for the moment the pistol was slapped away from his hands with such force that it was knocked a few feet away after a bullet burst into a corner vase.
The amount of noise that echoed inside this room stunned both of them, while everyone outside enjoyed the fire display.
Anthony was still trying to make sense of why he was still alive, and then he realised that instead of standing, Kate was kneeling in front of him, holding both his hands with fear etched on her beautiful face.
His shocked eyes left his wife's face to move over the pistol a few feet away from them, and it was then that realisation dawned on him. "You saved me? But why?"
"Why? Why? You imbecilic! You moron! You vexing man! Why would I save you? I love you, Danmmit! Even though you ripped my heart open, it still loves you, and you are asking me why I am saving your life! How can you be such a fool?!"
She burst into tears, and Anthony could not understand what this trickery was. He was making her way out. If he died, her lie of being a widow would come true, so why is she not taking this chance?
Anthony once again stared at his pistol, but it seemed his wife also saw him as she quickly turned his face away. "Do not even think about it! I swear, Anthony Bridgerton! I will kill you myself if you even think about taking your life."
"What kind of threat is that?!" He now yells angrily as his body shakes in rage. "I begged you to take my life, but you refused! I tried to take my own life, and still you refused! Why? Do you not want to marry your prince?
"There is no prince! You have a thick head! If you just hear me out, then you will realise I only love one man, and it was you, Viscount Bridgerton!"
"Liar! Trickster! I will not hear you! Let go of me!"
But instead of leaving him, she tackled him on his back and climbed on top of his body. He struggled a lot, but she struggled back with surprising strength to keep him under her body.
"Let go of me! Let go of me!"
"Not until you stop with this madness!" She yells back stubbornly while holding him down.
Anthony tried to throw her off his body, but the more he fights, the harder she fights back.
Finally, he could not take it anymore, as tears began to fall from his face.
"Anthony." She stared at him while he pathetically cried. "Please let me die! Please, I beg you!"
For some reason, he could not understand that she was crying too. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry, my love. Please try to understand that everything I did was for a reason, but I never dreamed of leaving you so brokenhearted. I am so used to vile men that I thought you would easily move on after I disappeared. I am so sorry I did not understand the depth of your love in time, and by the time I realised."
She sniffed and leaned down to kiss his tears away. "I am so sorry for disappearing from your life, but Anthony, please believe me, I have no choice if I only told you the truth that day. You remember that day, right? I tried to stop you. I tried so hard to tell you the truth, but then Colin came and you left."
Suddenly, Anthony stopped crying as he recalled that moment that had eclipsed his mind after Kate left. "You wanted to tell me something. I promise you, I will hear you out when I return."
Kate was crying as she nodded her head. "I was going to tell you everything; I wanted to tell you everything. Not because I was afraid of my life; no, I was more afraid you would never look at me the same again if you found out my truth."
"I did not care about your truth!" Anthony cried as he warped his arms around his wife. "Those first few weeks, all I wanted was for you to return home! I would have heard you! I would have believed you, but days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and all I heard was that you lied, you betrayed me, and you used me like you used other people. After months of one truth revealing after another with you nowhere to find, then what should I have done?!"
"I know! I know! You have no idea how much I wanted to return home to you, but things became so bad that I could not return to England, and Freddie and Edwina begged me to stay until they got married. So I stayed."
Anthony went still as he figured out something. "Freddie and Edwina?"
"Prince Frederick and my sister Edwina, or as you know her, Lady Heston."
She must have thought she caught her attention, so she lifted herself, and Anthony, instead of lunging towards his pistol, moved to sit up with his wife still perched on his lap as she quietly cried. "So all this time, you were not here for Heston but for Lady Heston."
He watched as she nodded her head and wiped her tears away. She took deep breaths as she began to tell her story.
"Edwina is my younger sister, born in India, but my Appa and my mama, my stepmother Mary Sheffield, met here in England. Appa was the secretary of Indian diplomats when he and I travelled here; I was only five. It was actually Mama and Lord Heston's engagement ball where they met for the first time. Appa used to say Mama was the most beautiful yet saddest woman he ever saw. Slowly, they form friendship, which turns into love. On the day of Mama's wedding, she begged my aunt to take her away, and so he did. They eloped at Greta Green, and we boarded ship from Scotland."
"Your stepmother was the woman who jilted Lord Heston all those years ago, and your grandparents made their young granddaughter married to the same man." Anthony was appalled to even think about such horrible people.
"They are not my grandparents; they were selfish and cruel. Oh Anthony! I was such a fool when, in my desperation, I wrote them that letter. You see, my aunt died of consumption when I was fifteen. My mama went into depression, and we have no male relatives to take care of us. I use my dowry money to survive, but I know we will not last a year. Those wretched Sheffield arrived and promised to take care of us, but in England. Mama did not trust them, but I begged for Edwina's sake. Oh god! I wish I listened to my mama."
"Kate, tell me what they did to you."
(Flashback)
Kathani was around sixteen, while her younger sister, Edwina, was around eight.
"Hurry up, you lot. If we missed this ship, then who knows how many months we have to wait for the next ship?" Lord Sheffield barked.
The girls cowered, but their mothers held them closer as they followed Lord and Lady Sheffield.
As they climbed the ship stairs, somehow accidentally, the Lord Sheffield's Stick connected with her younger sister Doll, and they watched it tumble down the stairs.
"Blast! Someone get that doll."
Lady Sheffield gave Kathani a haughty look as she commanded. "Go girl! Fetch your sister doll!"
"That's my daughter you are talking to." Mary snarled angrily, and her mother smirked. "It amazes me how you love that filth as your own."
"It's alright, mama; I will get the doll."
She let go of her mother's hand and stepped down to grab the doll.
By the time she picked it up, her family was already at the entrance of the ship, showing their tickets.
Kathani climbed back but was stopped by the checking officer. "Ticket."
"I am with that lord and his family; my ticket is with him." She tried to say.
The collecting officer frowned, but to her relief, a few seconds later, Lord Sheffield appeared as he instructed the officer. "There are some expensive things in our luggage; make sure they are boarded safely."
He was going to turn away when the officer stopped him. "My lord? This girl is saying she is part of your family."
He did not even spare a glance in her direction, as he said gruffly. "My family is already inside the ship. I have no idea who this girl is."
Kathani's eyes widened in horror. "No, he is lying! Mama! Mama!"
She could not yell for a third time as she was struck by the Lord Sheffield. "Turn this filth away and make sure she does not get on this ship.
She screamed as two officers dragged her down the stairs.
By the time she reached down, she got a glimpse of her mama and sister.
"Mama! Mama!"
Her mother turned around, and her eyes were filled with horror as she saw her on the dock. "Beti! Someone, please bring my daughter!"
But the horns start blaring, drowning out their screams.
Lord and Lady Sheffield dragged her mama and Edwina away.
Meanwhile, Kathani helplessly watched the ship leave the port. She cried and screamed, but no one listened to her pleas.
Finally, she jumped into the sea and started swimming towards the ship.
"Mama! Mama! Please wait for me!"
But right in front of her eyes, the ship moved further away, and her strength gave away as she began to drown under deep waters.
(End of Flashback)
Anthony felt horrified as he heard what those Sheffields did to the Kate family. "They abandoned a young girl; they broke up a family; what kind of monsters were these people?"
"These were the first monsters I ever encountered, but Anthony soon found out that the world was filled with them.
You see, a few fishermen saved me, and one gave me asylum in their house. His wife used to work as a maid for English men, and a few months later they took me there in the hope that some Englishmen would help me.
( Flashback)
Kathani arrived at the English men's house. She was scared, but she prayed to Bhagwan that this man would help her find her mama.
"Kathani beti, yay sahib, Mr. Salts hai. Kathani, my child, this gentleman is Mr. Salts.
Mr. Salts stared at her as he asked. "Can you speak English?"
"Yes, sir, my family lived in England for a few years, and my stepmother is from England."
"Tell me, how can I help you?" He quickly asked, and Kathani felt encouraged, so she told this stranger everything.
"Please, Mr. Salts, please help me reach England; I am afraid Sheffield will be cruel to my mama and sister."
She began to cry, and Mr. Salts stood up and patted her head affectionately. "Do not cry, my child. You came to the right place, but my child's England voyage is quite expensive, so you have to work here at this house to earn your ticket, and I promise the day you earn all your ticket money, I will take you to England myself."
Kathani beamed tearfully and leaned down to touch his feet. "You are like Devta, Mr. Salts; I promise I will work hard and earn my ticket."
( End of Flashback)
Anthony was fuming, wanting to kill this man, Dorset, and his bloody friend because now he could clearly see what that man was trying to do to this poor girl who came in hopes of seeking protection.
"What did that bastard do?!"
Kate stopped crying as she gently cupped his face. "Please do not stress yourself; please, Anthony, you have already gone through..."
"Kate, tell me what that bastard did to you. You promised you would tell me everything, and I want to hear everything, good or bad."
Kate sighed and then gently nodded her head. "Truth be told, I never realised it at first. That first year, I thought he saw me as a daughter and showed me fatherly affection because we both had no family of our own. He always told me his wife had left him to be the mistress of a rich lord, and his daughter died young from getting sick. I thought he saw his dead daughter in me, so if he embraces me sometimes, tickles me, buys me treats, or even kisses my cheek after I do a good job, I thought those were fatherly affections, but a year later, as I grew older, I noticed a change in him."
Kate's face fell, and Anthony understood that this must be hard for her to explain. "Kate, stop. I think I understand what that bastard did next."
"You cannot understand because have you eyed your maid lecherously and sneaked into their quarters while they were sleeping, pretending to check on them if they needed something? Did you sneak into the bathing area to watch them during baths?" She inquired angrily, and Anthony was stunned.
"He did what?"
"Oh, it was not just him; his guests were like that too. They used to look at us, touch our midriffs, and step on our sarees. One of his friends, Marcus Anderson, propositioned me to be his mistress, and I slapped him in the face. When I told Mr. Salts, he laughed, and do you know what he said to me? He says a beautiful woman like me should entice a man as long as she remains beautiful."
"That bastard! Kate, please tell me you left that man after that!?"
Kate cried as she admitted it. "I have collected enough money, and Diya Bua told me she would get me another job in a month. That month, a few more guests arrived at Mr. Salt's house, but they were quite nice people. One night, while gathering, Mr. Salts was in his cups when suddenly he grabbed me in the corner.
(Flashback)
Kathani was throwing away left-over drinks from glasses when someone grabbed her from behind.
"Kathani, my beautiful Kathani. You were not meant to serve others, but a beauty like you should get served."
"Mr. Salts, please let me go."
"No, I have wanted you for so long. I waited so patiently for my beautiful flower to grow, and now look at you; what a beautiful blossoming flower you are."
He trailed kisses on her neck while his hand roughly roamed over her breasts.
Kathani struggled and cried for him to stop, but he became vicious. "Stop it, bitch, let me fuck you."
Kathani struggles hard as he begins to pull her saree skirt up suddenly. "Unhand the girl, you pervert!"
Their guests Lady Katherine arrived, her face thunderous as she pulled Kathani to her side and slapped Mr. Salts on the face. "You monster, this girl is your daughter's age! A servant is under your protection, and you exploit that position! How dare you!"
"My lady, this woman seduces me."
Kathani flinched when he got another well-deserved slap. "I saw everything you shameless men did, and mark my words, you will pay for everything you did to this poor girl."
(End of Flashback)
Lord Ronald and Lady Katherine were like angels in my life. They put an inquiry on Mr. Salts, and it turns out he could never take me to England because he himself ran away from England, where he betrayed his wife and his in-laws by molesting his young sister-in-law. When the truth came about his crimes in England and in India, his reputation was tarnished, and Lord High Command sent him to Africa as punishment."
"Good; otherwise, I killed that bastard myself, and Dorset is such a fool that he believed in that bastard Marcus lying about you."
"Like you did when Dorset retold you the same lies."
Anthony was stricken when this harsh truth hit him hard. "Kate, I am so sorry; trust me, I looked everywhere for you, and when I approached Dorset, it was in hope to find you, but he told me those things, and I cannot explain why I believe him. I have no excuse, Kate; it just means I want some reason to stop loving you, and when Dorset told me those things, I believed them to hate you."
Kate was crying brokenly, and Anthony now felt too ashamed to even comfort her, but to his surprise, she embraced him as she wept against his chest. "If only I was brave enough to tell you the truth, if only I learned to trust, then all this would not have happened to us. It's not just you I did not trust; it's everyone. You know I did not trust Lady Katherine and Lord Ronald after they rescued me and gave me employment in their home. What Mr. Salts did has broken my faith in goodness, and I have stopped trusting anyone but myself.
The next few years, I worked as their maid and soon became Lady Katherine's maid. After her fiancé died, she became a shell of a person, but I stood by her side, and soon she told everyone to stop treating me as a maid and treat me as Lady Katherine's companion. Lord Ronald was kind and grateful to me, and yet still, I never asked for their help in fear of getting used to their favour."
"But then, why have you trusted Dorset of all people to inquire about Heston? Why did you agree to marry him?"
At that, something painful came to his wife's face as she trembled in his arms.
I was never searching for Heston at first; I never knew anything about him, not even when my Mama and Appa eloped until three years ago.
(Flashback)
Kathani and Lady Katherine had just returned home from Jaipur when they noticed Lord Ronald was not here to welcome his daughter.
"Where is my Papa?"
"He is in the courtyard, saying farewell to his friend." A maid told them.
"Kathani, please do so and inform my papa we have returned."
Kathani quickly left, and when she arrived at the courtyard, she saw Lord Ronald coughing while speaking with an old man who looked even older than Lord Ronald's.
"Heston, look, I am happy for you, but I still think it's immoral for you to marry this young girl after you were engaged and jilted by her mother."
The old man laughed as he boasted. "It's her selfish mother's fault that his daughter is now stuck with me. You know, I gave Mary another chance after Lord Sheffield managed to bring her back to England after all these years. I was ready to accept her and her filthy stepdaughter as my ward, but that bitch was so stubborn that once again, right before getting married, she died of heart failure. What a failure of an investment, I say. Sheffield was lucky I agreed to give him another chance after he offered me his granddaughter; otherwise, I would have taken everything he valued."
Kathani was horrified when she heard Sheffield's name and what exactly those monsters did to her poor mama. They are now planning to do something with her sister. She hopes Lord Ronald will oppose his friend, but to her dismay, he just sighed and shook this vile man's hand as he spoke. "I know I cannot change your mind, but please, Heston, try to think this through."
"Only one thing I am thinking, my friend, is to spend the rest of my days fucking a young body."
gasped Kathani gasped and could not stand to hear this vile man's plans. No, she needs to make plans of her own; maybe her friend Dorset could help her reach England before this vile man marries her young sister.
(End of Flashback)
I asked for his help as my friend, but he was just like those other men, jumping on his chance to take advantage of my circumstances."
Anthony held her closer while he vowed to punch Dorset the next time he saw him.
"After Dorset left, I waited so many weeks for his return, and with each passing day, I knew I was failing to protect my sister. Many times I thought to tell Lady Katherine, but Lord Ronald's condition began to get worse, and I could not tell her anything."
"But you did tell her in the end? Did you not?"
"I did. A month after Lord Ronald passed away, we were sharing our grief over losing our father. The next moment, as if a dam inside me had burst open, I poured all my heart out in front of her. Like you just now, Lady Katherine was appalled by what Sheffield did with my family, and she was horrified when I told her about Heston and his past with my mama and his future with my sister. The next thing I know, she sold everything and decided to take me to England herself."
Kate then burst into tears, and Anthony knew he was going to here how Kate suffer the loss of someone who was dear to his wife—the tragic end of Lady Katherine.