Chapter 11: Family Memories

Cloud stared up at the water tower with no sense of familiarity at all. He didn't recognize the houses, or the shops. It was the town he had been living in just a year before, and yet, it might as well have been any other place in Gaia. He was terrified to realize that he didn't even know which one of these houses he lived in. He had a mother...didn't he? Didn't everybody?

He had seen Zack head to the bar, and didn't know if he would want to speak with him yet. Not after what he had found out. He didn't blame him...of course he didn't. He was just praying he might forgive him.

"Excuse me?" Cloud dragged his gaze away from the entrance of the pub at the sound of the curious voice. He turned to meet a dark hair girl around his age, smiling at him. She was dressed in a short suede skirt, and a button down halter to her midriff. His eyes were glued on the fit body, having to tear his eyes away from her chest to look into her smiling face.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

"Do I know you?" she questioned, head tilting in curiosity.

Did she? Should he know her? "I don't think so," he replied, on edge with nervousness. "Think I would remember knowing someone like you." She was beautiful. How did he not remember her?

The girl blushed, looking down as she twirled her arms behind her back. "Well we should change that." She held out her hand. "Welcome to Nibelheim."

Cloud reached out to shake her hand. "Actually, I've been here before."

"You have?" she questioned. "What would bring someone all the way out here?" She looked down at his outfit. "Oh! Are you Shinra?" She placed an excited hand to her bottom lip. "Are you SOLDIER!?"

It was his turn to blush, shame welling in his gut as he didn't want to tell this girl that he hadn't accomplished anything he had set out to. It shouldn't shame him to admit he was working towards his goal to a stranger, and yet that was all he could feel as he stared into her doe like eyes.

"Actually," he started. "I'm a just a…"

"Do you not know him?" Sephiroth questioned, coming to stand behind him. Cloud stiffened as he felt a hand come to his hip, clutching almost angrily after what had happened at the entrance.

The girl shrugged. "Should I?"

"How old are you?" Sephiroth asked her, and Cloud shifted away from the grasp, too angry at him to stand the touch.

"Just turned 18!" she answered proudly, hungry eyes gazing upwards as she took in Sephiroth's formidable frame. "I know you!"

"Do you?" Sephiroth asked her. "You know all the other boys your age in this town?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" she stated proudly, and Cloud flinched as he realized why Sephiroth was asking.

"Cloud grew up here. Don't tell me you don't recognize him?" Cloud glanced back to see Sephiroth watching her with disdain. "He doesn't exactly have a forgettable face."

"Neither do you," she replied. "But I don't remember seeing you around here either. Funny thing that, not remembering every boy in the world." She pointed to Cloud. "He's not from Nibelheim. I would know that much at least." She motioned behind her, and Cloud's eyes followed up to a lumbering old mansion. "Unless he's from up the hill. There was a kid who used to live up there." She tilted her head as she examined his face. "Maybe that is where I've seen you...I kind of remember the chocobo butt hair."

"I lived in a mansion?" Cloud asked, before realizing he shouldn't be making it quite so obvious he couldn't remember doing so.

"You don't know?" the girl questioned, giggling softly. "You're weird. Shouldn't you remember that, or something?" She reached out, grabbing his hand. "Come on, I'll take you up there." She grinned at Sephiroth. "You too if you promise to stop being so grumpy." Cloud glanced back at Sephiroth, before he was yanked forward. "I'm Tifa by the way."

Tifa squeezed his hand as they headed up the hill. "I can't get you into the mansion. The gate is always locked, but you guys should be able to get in, right?"

"Why would we be able to get in?" he asked, glancing back towards Sephiroth who was following them with a frown.

"Because it's a Shinra property, Cloud." Sephiroth was staring up at the old house with disdain. "I've heard of this place." From the sound of his tone, Cloud could guess it hadn't been anything good.

He couldn't focus on that though, because alarm bells were going off inside his head. Shinra property. He had grown up on Shinra property. Cloud felt a sharp pain go through his head as a memory of him climbing down a set of wooden spiral stairs flashed in his mind. The same time as his head pounded, his stomach started to roll yet again, and he vomited before he could help himself from the pain.

Sephiroth was there in an instant, and Cloud grunted as he was swept off his feet, glowering at the nerve of the SOLDIER, but his stomach did calm as the pain in his head subsided. "Put me down."

"You need to lie down," the general argued, glancing back towards Tifa who was staring wide-eyed in both shock and concern. "Thank you for the help."

"Sephiroth!" Cloud hissed as the other carried him down the hill as he tried not to hyperventilate. "Put me down! Zack might see," he hit his chest. "Sephiroth!"

A growl reverberated through Sephiroth's chest at that, and Cloud moaned as his body shuddered it's agreement, burying his face in the Alpha's neck, inhaling the powerful scent. "That's not fair."

Lips pressed to the top of his head, and Cloud clung tighter as the anger he felt towards him was put on the back burner as his fear and anxiety took control. "Cloud, that place. There's rumors about it." Sephiroth did set him down then, drawing him back towards an alley. "I know you're angry with me, and I know I messed things up for you and Zack, but that place…"

"It's a bad place…" Cloud said softly, turning wide blue eyes up to Sephiroth. "It's a very bad place." He reached up, cupping Sephiroth's cheek. "We could go back. We could go back and pretend none of this ever happened."

Sephiroth leaned down, and Cloud sighed as lips pressed against his. He hated himself for kissing back, and he hated himself even more given the fact that Zack was hurting and he couldn't help himself. Sephiroth pulled away then, his eyes stern as he watched him. "We can't go back. You know that. You can take a rest in the inn. I'll go get Zack for you, and then we need to get some answers."

Cloud knitted his eyebrows, stepping back as he frowned at the alpha. "You'll get Zack for me?" he questioned, shaking his head. "And what exactly are you planning to say to him, Seph?" He shook his head incredulously. "I calmed him down with my tongue, why don't you go finish the job with your dick?"

The SOLDIER reacted then, teeth growing as he lunged forward, slamming Cloud back against the wall. "No, not so that he can offer you his dick," Sephiroth hissed, hand gripping his hips. "You're going to break it off with him. You're going to tell him what happened between us, and you're going to stop playing us both."

Fear and arousal swept through him at the command in the alpha's voice, but even more than that he felt angry at the assumption. "I'm not leaving Zack," he shoved at Sephiroth's chest. "If you want me to choose, then you're not going to like the answer."

Sephiroth's eyes flashed cold then. "You don't belong with Zachary, and you're not going to be with him. I told you...your smell has changed."

"Meaning what?" Cloud snapped at him.

"Meaning that my…" Sephiroth stopped himself, gritting his teeth as he glowered down at Cloud. "You're stressed. I understand, but you wouldn't have come to me if you wanted to be with him."

Cloud stared sadly up at the alpha, reaching up to card his fingers through that silky hair. "Sephiroth...I don't know why I came to you, but it wasn't because I didn't want to be with him. I love him." The fact that he didn't love Sephiroth was left stagnant between them. "I'm sorry," his heart was pounding as he pushed the SOLDIER back, knowing that he was only able to because he let him. "It's always been Zack." He held his breath as he whined at the hurt on the alpha's face, feeling the innate need to comfort him even as Sephiroth was backing away.
"Seph," he tried, but the narrowed cat like eyes caused his jaw to snap back shut.

"Go to him then," Sephiroth bit out, frigidness thick on his tongue. "Be it from me to prevent you from making your own mistakes."

Cloud kept his eyes to the ground, waiting until he left before he headed back into town. He was holding back tears as he pushed through the door into the pub, heart aching as he saw Zack at the bar, ordering another drink.

He knew Zack had to be aware he was standing behind him, but he had yet to look back. Cloud had made such a mess of things, and now they were here about to find out god knows what, and all he could think about was how he had ruined things with them both.

Taking a deep breath, he swallowed his nervous trepidation as he came up behind the SOLDIER, hands running up the other's back. "Zack...can we talk?"

Zack didn't turn around, taking another gulp of whiskey as he motioned to the bartender to pour him another. "About what, Spike?" The bitter anger made Cloud flinch, even though he knew he deserved it.

"Zack," What was he supposed to say to him? Sorry I screwed your best friend? Sorry I lied to you? Sorry I cheated on you? "I love you."

The other snorted into his glass, finishing another as he motioned for a refill. "You smell like Sephiroth. Don't know how I didn't notice it before."

"I…" he didn't have the words that Zack wanted to hear. He couldn't take what he did away. "I won't do it again."

Zack did stiffen at that, shrugging the hands off him as he turned in the stool. "Really? You won't do it again?"

Cloud looked around at the small town bar, knowing all eyes were on them as he shot a warning look at Zack. "Maybe we should go to the Inn."

"Oh yeah?" Zack questioned, angered sarcasm dripping from his tone. "Why's that baby?" He motioned around. "Worried they're going to know you're gay? That would be a problem, right? Small town boy, taking it up the ass from a SOLDIER," he stopped himself, putting a hand to his chest. "My apologies, SOLDIERs."

"You're drunk," Cloud snapped, glancing around as the entire bar was abuzz.

"Oh, immensely," Zack agreed. "But that doesn't change the fact that I've asked all around this town, and for some reason nobody knows who you are."

"Stop it," Cloud snapped.

"Nobody has ever heard of a boy named Cloud coming from this town," Zack continued. "And you know what else, baby?" Zack purred, coming up to him as he cupped his face. "I wish I had never heard of you either."

Being this up close, Cloud could see how blood shot Zack's eyes were. He could feel the pain coming off his alpha. "Let's just go talk…" He tried to reach for him, but Zack batted his hands away.

"Why? So you can fuck me back into submission?" Zack stumbled back a little, reaching for the entire bottle as the bartender seemed too shocked to argue. "So you make everything better? Is it ever going to be better between us? Are you ever going to have not broken my heart?" Zack motioned to him with the bottle. "Just another experiment for you, right Spike?"

"That's not fair," he managed, feeling sick again as Zack's whiskey breath hit his face. "You're drunk, and we'll talk later. But you were never an experiment to me."

"Were…" Zack repeated, taking another drink. "Well that tells me all I need to know, doesn't it Spike?"

Zack pushed passed him to walk out into the now night air. Cloud's temper spiked as he ran after him. "Don't you dare walk away from me!" Cloud screamed at Zack's back. "I never once turned my back on you after what happened during my heat! How many people did you sleep with? What did your nature make you do?"

He didn't care that they were in the middle of town, or that Sephiroth could be watching. Zack was not allowed to call him a lying whore and then leave him. His entire life was crashing down around him, and if he could save even a scrap of it he would.

Zack looked over his shoulder, shaking his head. "We weren't together."

"Right," Cloud agreed. "We weren't, because you were too scared to take me during my heat."

"Forgive me for not wanting to fuck your brains out when you weren't coherrant. How terrible of me," Zack mocked right back.

"It was!" Cloud shot back. "I had no idea what was happening to me, and I was still there for you! I know I made you go into rut, and I'm sorry, but I didn't know!"

"How did you not know!?" Zack yelled, gesturing around. "What is this, Cloud? Why are we here trying to help you find answers in a town you never lived in?"

"I did!" Cloud snapped, pointing towards the mansion. "There! I lived there...and I don't know why. I have no answers for you!" Cloud stepped forward. "Every last sense in my body is drawing me to Sephiroth. Hojo is pushing me towards Sephiroth, but I'm standing in front of you. If that means nothing to you, then I guess I release you from the torment of having to deal with my shattered existence."

He pushed passed Zack, making sure he was at least not facing him before the tears began to pour down his cheeks as his stomach cramped. He didn't need them. He needed to focus on what was happening to him. He needed to focus on the fact that his entire existence had been a lie, and the answers were in a Shinra mansion.

Cloud wiped furiously at his eyes as he finally got the gate, not surprised to find it locked. His mouth pressed into a hard line as his stubborn hurt overtook reason as he began to climb, swinging up over the top of the fence as he eyed the mansion warily.

He knew this place. Hojo may have blocked his memories, but he recognized it. Tifa had said she had seen a boy that looked like him out in the yard. Had he played out here? Had he drawn on the sidewalks, and bounced a ball? Had he dreamed about being a SOLDIER out here?

A grunt coming from behind him made him look back, letting out a sigh of relief as he saw Zack had also jumped the fence. "You're coming?"

Zack sighed, shrugging both of his shoulders in defeat. "Hell Spike, you know I'm not going to make you do this alone. This doesn't mean we're fine though, but...I'm here for you."

"Thank you," Cloud breathed, not realizing how grateful he was to not be alone after pushing both of them away. "Do you know how to pick a lock?"

The SOLDIER gave a laugh. "Yeah, picked a few in my time. Don't worry, I'll show you. Never going to get into SOLDIER if you don't know how to do a simple breaking and entering."

"Prefer bacon and eggs." He rubbed at his stomach. "I'm starving actually. Do you think Shinra stocked up the fridge?"

Zack pulled out a lock picking kit, leaning down as he began to work on the lock. "Spike, I don't think Shinra's been here for a long time." He frowned at the door, reaching out before he began to work on the lock. "It's open…" He pushed open the door, and Cloud held his breath in dread of what could be on the other side.

He needn't have worried. The only thing on the other side of the door was a dusty mansion. They stepped inside to find the lights already on as Cloud spun around to look at the enormous chandelier.

"Sephiroth," he spoke, because the SOLDIER had to have already decided to go in. "I wonder where he is?"

"Wherever it is," Zack murmured. "I hope he's having a shitty time." They headed through the entryway and up the stairs. "Does any of this look familiar?"

Cloud shook his head. "Whatever Hojo did, he wiped it all." He debated the next part. "He told me it was my idea the last time I was in his lab."

Zack raised an eyebrow as he looked back. "I take it that's not a rare occurrence?"

He shrugged in reply. "What do you want me to say, Zack? Obviously I don't know the answer. That's why we're here."

"Right," Zack agreed. "That's why we're here." They walked up the stairs, heading down the hallway and towards the bedrooms. "So, guess you're taking me home to your house? It's a big step."

Cloud gave a shaky laugh, knowing Zack was just trying to make him feel better, even though he was furious. "Yeah? Well if I ever remember who my parents are, I'll be sure to introduce you."

"I'll try to make a good impression," Zack assured him with a lopsided grin.

"Like you could ever make a bad one?" he asked right back. "Everyone loves you."

"And I don't even secrete fuck me juice," Zack replied, causing Cloud to stop and stare. The SOLDIER stopped as well, turning to him with a grin. "Relax, I was just joking." He held out his hand in a sign of peace. "We'll figure this out, okay?"

Cloud reached out to take the hand, squeezing in relief as he was pulled into a hug. He shuttered out his anxiety as he wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, pulling him closer. "I'm so sorry," he stressed. "I'm so sorry. I won't do it again. I won't." He looked up at Zack. "I adore you...I love you so much. You can bite me. You can."

"Ssshhh," Zack stressed. "Relax." He rubbed his back. "We'll be okay. Let's just focus on this right now. Where do you think Sephiroth went?"

Cloud motioned towards the bedroom ahead. "Only one way, right?"

Zack raised their joined hands, kissing Cloud's knuckles before pulling him forward. In the bedroom they found a passage open in the wall, and Cloud's heart immediately began to pound with anxiety as his head flashed back to the stairs.

He yanked his hand away as he backed away from the passage, memories flashing into his head of him running up and down those steps. "Zack...what if we find something bad?" They would. If they went down there, they would find something bad.

The SOLDIER stared down towards the steps, before looking back. "We might, but it's okay. We'll be together."

"Do you promise?" Cloud asked. "Do you promise we'll always be together?"

"Spike," Zack started. "I'd spend the rest of my life with you if you only asked. Don't you know that by now?" He motioned towards the stairs. "Come on. Just think of it as a haunted house. It may be scary, but it can't hurt you."

Cloud nodded, following after Zack as they headed into the basement. He didn't completely believe the sentiment. He was sure whatever was at the bottom of the steps could very much hurt him, but they had already come this far. There was no going back to Midgar without finding the answers.

They descended the steps, and the knot in Cloud's stomach just continued to grow as they entered a hallway. "Why do they have this place?"

Zack shook his head, leading the way as they followed the sound of voices. "I don't know, babe. The Shinra science department has never made sense to me. Suppose that would be because they turned me into a monster, and so I've always had a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to them." He motioned around. "But creepy murder dungeon definitely takes the cake."

"Who do you think he's talking to?" Cloud asked as the voices continued. As they rounded the corner he froze as he recognized Hojo. Had he found them? Did he already know they were coming?

Cold dread washed down his spine as they came around the corner, and found Sephiroth standing in front of the door to an open room, watching something. He turned when he heard them, eyes widening as they landed on Cloud.

"Get him out of here!" Sephiroth barked, teeth sharp and pointed as his face was a mask of rage. "Now!"

"What?" Cloud asked, confused. "What are you looking at?" He pushed passed Zack before he could help himself, shoving Sephiroth to look into the room, getting only a glance of it before Sephiroth grabbed him around the waist and yanked him back, but it was enough.

It was a white washed bedroom. A bedroom with Sephiroth's poster on the wall, and laboratory photos pinned of testing. He was featured in all of them. It was showing him in a progression of ages, with more and more horrifying experiments being done in each. They were pinned to the wall as if to be a reminder of what he was.

Cloud fought against Sephiroth's hold, needing to get a better view as he turned his head to the monitor playing a video. Hojo was in the video, leaning down in front of his five year old self.

"Specimen CLD17 is progressing nicely. I have injected him with his daily dose of pheromones. I've begun mixing them with the pheromones drawn from Sephiroth. With any luck, the imprint will take hold before the specimen hits puberty. Then we will be able to see how much control he has over other Alphas. Sephiroth is the obvious place to start."

"Professor?" Cloud watched his younger self ask, smiling as he came over. "You promised I could go outside today. Can we?"

Hojo stared down at him in amusement. "Tomorrow Cloud. It's too late to go out today."

"But you always say that!" Cloud pleaded. "You always say tomorrow!"

"This time I mean it," Hojo assured him, watching Cloud go back to his room to play before turning back to the monitor. "He's stubborn, that child. He must get that part from my genes."

Cloud stared wide-eyed at the screen as realization took hold that he had not only been imprinted on Sephiroth for control, but had been raised in a laboratory, and that Hojo was...Hojo was his… His eyes rolled to the back of his head, not able to finish that thought as he collapsed backwards into the alpha's arms.

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