Chapter 18: This is the Way the World Ends

Cloud pulled at the scarf at his neck self-consciously, knowing it wouldn't stop Zack from seeing the still bleeding wound from when Sephiroth had re-opened his mark. His stomach was knotted in anxiety as he realized that this was it.

The end.

He would finally get what he deserved. Which was losing the best thing that ever happened to him. It's not as if he had a choice at this point. He would say Sephiroth had taken away the choice for him, but he had known what was going to happen when he followed the Alpha out of that room.

Sephiroth had just helped ease his conscience.

They both deserved better. Yet, they were attached to him now. They were forced to play Hojo's fucked up game because of him now. Sephiroth had martyred himself. He had bit him, but there was still hope for Zack.

If he had to hurt him to keep that hope alive, then he'd do so gladly if it meant Zack could get away from all of this. There was just one more hurdle. One more bit of excruciating pain to endure, and he would be okay. No more guns pointed at his back. No more risk of dying. He would have to hurt him. He would have to hurt him to save him.

It was selfish in a way. A cop out. He wouldn't keep playing them both though. He couldn't when it meant that they would both suffer to please him. Why? Because he was an Omega? Did that forgive all of his sins because he could give them pleasure? Wasn't it about more? Wasn't it about love? They both claimed to love him, but they didn't know…

He had his memories. Sephiroth had made sure of that, and he didn't deserve their love. He never had. It was only a matter of time before they realized it. That Sephiroth had been his mark. That he had begged Hojo to let him, because of the children they would create.

He had begged that monster to be bred, and the scientist had told him to make it happen. It made him sick to think about now when he knew Sephiroth. The SOLDIER was vulnerable...lonely...he had been used all of his life, and Cloud hadn't hesitated in forcing his way in and using him even further.

Zack though. Zack had been chosen from the part of him that could claim to be human, and not raised by Hojo. He had been his salvation. His friend. His choice when he hadn't known anything except how he had felt towards a boy. It was the only good thing he had ever done in his life, and even in that he had failed. He had ruined the SOLDIER for anyone else. He had bit him...and now he had to do whatever he could to set him free.

Cloud wore his trooper uniform to the station, even though the closest he had come to training in almost a month was Sephiroth teaching him how to deepthroat.

He wanted Zack to see him like this though. Like he was still worth something. Like he hadn't been reduced to seeing whether or not he could take Sephiroth's seed, and how best he could benefit Shinra. Zack had always believed in him, and he wanted that to continue. One last time.

The train was a few minutes late as he paced in front of the station. His stomach was swimming in nerves as he remembered the morning with Sephiroth. He remembered his words on behaving. Did he honestly expect him to do that? Did he honestly expect him to have been parted with Zack for over a month and somehow not take every opportunity he could get?

Cloud paced around the station, waiting in impatience and nerves for the Alpha to emerge. Endless other troopers had already left the train, but the SOLDIER was still missing. He frowned, worried that the bastards had done something to him. What if they had hurt him?

President Shinra had sworn he wouldn't. He had behaved and done what was asked of him. Cloud began to panic as he waited, heart clenching in his chest when he saw black spikes finally emerge.

Relief and longing flowed through him as he found himself running before he could help himself. It didn't matter that they were in the middle of the station, and that anyone could see. It didn't matter that Sephiroth's scent would be on him despite the amount of baths he took, or how he covered the mark. He wanted this one last time.

Before even letting Zack respond, Cloud flung himself at the First Class SOLDIER. Zack's eyes widened in surprise for only a moment, before catching Cloud as he flew midair to cling his legs around his hip bones. Zack caught him easily, the other's strength not even bothered as he clung to him.

"Spike wha—" Zack tried, but Cloud interrupted as he pressed his mouth forward. Cloud wrapped his arms desperately around Zack's neck, sighing in pleasure as the SOLDIER kissed him despite what it might look like to everyone around them. He'd give him anything, wouldn't he? When it all came down to it. If he was selfish enough...and if asked Sephiroth...he could probably get Zack to stay.

Cloud started crying the instant he felt Zack's spine stiffen. He felt his heart break as nails unconsciously dug into his hips as he was ripped away from that mouth. He was ripped away from those lips he would probably never get the chance to kiss again.

He buried his face in Zack's chest as the other stood stalk still, clinging tighter to him as he could feel the anger radiating off of him. "Cloud?" Zack managed, and Cloud could hear the barely repressed fury in his tone. "Get off me."

It felt like he had been struck as he slowly nodded against that chest, inhaling the scent of the raw battlefield from his skin before placing both of his feet on the ground. He managed to step back two feet, before his spikes were grabbed and ripped back to look into furious violet eyes.

"Welcome back, Zack," Cloud managed hollowly as he tried to memorize every detail of his face before he never saw it again.

"You smell…" Zack started, rubbing at his mouth in disgust. "You reek."

"Of Sephiroth," Cloud admitted hollowly. "Zack…"

"Don't," Zack sneered. "Don't you dare lie to me right now." He placed a hand at his forehead, and Cloud's heart broke at the look of pain that came over his face.

Cloud stood there, all the carefully rehearsed speeches leaving his head as he wiped at his eyes. The people around them continued with the usual bustle, ignoring the fact that the floor was turning molten around them. "I went into heat," he tried to explain. "You weren't there."

Zack's face was blank as he watched him, fingers rubbing absently at his mouth as if he could wipe off that kiss Cloud had forced upon him. "No. I was sent away...because they wanted me out of the way…" he mused, a horrified deadness in his tone.

"Probably," Cloud agreed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I couldn't handle it…" He stopped himself, so sick of making excuses for his actions. Especially when they had such strong implications. "I wanted him," he started, grabbing his stomach in pain. "I wanted him...and yeah I was in heat...but that wasn't all. You were gone, and I'm not a good person."

"So you fucked him?" Zack questioned, his voice low and guarded. "After promising me it wouldn't happen again?" He scoffed, looking away as the station was clearing out. "I'm such an idiot."

"You're not!" Cloud argued, looking around to see if he had caught any attention at his outburst "You're not an idiot. I should have told you."

"I suppose you're telling me now," Zack surmised bitterly, looking over at Cloud. "So tell me. Do you love him? Do you love my best friend?"

Cloud wiped at his eyes, hurting too much to feel foolish as hated the way Zack's persona was hurt and guarded. "I love you," he managed. "It may be too late, but I love you."

Zack didn't even react to the admission, clearly too used to hearing the excuses flow from Cloud's tongue. "Do you love him?" he asked again.

Cloud shifted, guiltily, turning pleading eyes up towards the SOLDIER. "Does it matter?"

"It matters," Zack assured him breathlessly. "Of course it matters."

"I—" He opened his mouth to admit to loving his Alpha...his mate. But it would just hurt him more, and Zack was wrong. It didn't matter. Not anymore. Cloud reached up for his neck, pulling at the scarf to reveal the bloody mark. "It doesn't matter."

Growling filled the air as the mark was revealed, and Cloud let out a whine as his body reacted to it. "He bit you?" Zack growled, voice a dark tempest. "You let him bite you?"

Cloud's eyes were wide as Zack surged forward, going to grab him in the middle of the train station before someone stepped in his way.

He blinked at the back of the black suit jacket, recognizing the long dark hair that had stepped in-between him and the SOLDIER. "Zachary," Tseng greeted. "How was your mission? I know Lazard will be eager to hear your report."

"Get out of my way," Zack bit out, and Cloud could hear the anger in his tone, even if he hadn't braved looking around the Turk to see it yet.

"No," Tseng stated simply. "Not that I don't think he deserves your ire, but it would upset him."

Cloud's face heated in shame at the implication behind that statement. "Tseng you can go. I'm fine."

"You're not," Tseng argued. "Zachary. You will go report to Lazard for debriefing. Do you not know how to follow orders?"

"I don't give a fuck about orders right now," Zack murmured, voice a mixture of curiousity and anger. "Why are you here?"

"Orders. You see I, in fact, do know how to behave," Tseng pointed out. "Cloud here was given to me as a special project. I'm to keep him calm."

"What?" Zack questioned, voice disgusted. "Are you serious? Why?"

Cloud braved the SOLDIER's wrath as he looked around Tseng's back, meeting those burning violet eyes. "It doesn't—"

"President Shinra's orders," Tseng looked back at him, face contorted with distaste. "He's their special project."

Zack frowned at that as he seemed to be warring with himself. "Did they hurt you?" Cloud glared at the way Tseng rolled his eyes, instead focusing on the fact that even with everything Zack had found out, he had still asked after him.

"It's okay," Cloud managed. "It's not too bad...and to be honest...it's not anything I'm not used to."

Zack nodded again, rubbing at his face before looking over at him. "Did they hurt you?" he repeated.

Cloud smiled despite himself, emotions bubbling over as he covered his mouth, slowly shaking his head as tears slid down his cheeks. They didn't hurt Zack. That was the most important thing.

Tseng sighed in disgust. "Listen. I know the both of you have issues. The entire station does by this point, but he gets stressed...he miscarries."

Shock ran through him as he looked over at Tseng, embarrassment being replaced by longing as his hands unconsciously went to his stomach. He met dark uncaring eyes as he raised an eyebrow. "I'm not."

"Aren't you?" Tseng questioned, shrugging as he looked over at Zack. "It's true...seems Sephiroth's seed isn't quite as potent as yours was."

"Mine was?" Zack asked, pain in his tone as he shook his head. "I can't hear any more of , why are you letting them do this to you?"

Blond eyebrows knitted as he considered it. "They've always done this to me," he tried to explain. "Besides that year I knew you...there's never been anything else. You were everything...Everything good I've ever had." He looked away, biting his lip. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you met me."

"Cloud…" Tseng chastised as Cloud clung to his stomach. "We need to go to the lab, now."

Cloud shook his head, never looking away from Zack as he had to get this out. "Don't you understand? Don't you get it by now? It was always supposed to be him, but the part of me that was free...the part of me that had just a moment of hope chose you." Tseng was glaring out of him out of the corner of his eye as he felt wetness slip down his legs. "I'm not free anymore. I remember what I am. ...And I won't do this to you."

"Spare me," Zack managed. "Spare me your pity. I wasn't enough for you. I get it. I wasn't strong enough to protect you...or our baby. You had to go to Sephiroth."

Blood dripped down his pant leg onto the floor, and Cloud fought to ignore it as he shook his head at Zack. "I can't say that he wasn't part of it...because he's amazing. Of course you know he's amazing, you're friends with him."

Tseng cursed under his breath, grabbing for his arm. "The President is going to have my head." He looked over at Zack. "I despise this kid. He's made my life a nightmare this last month. But, I will say, he had your best interests at heart."

Zack swallowed hard, covering his mouth as he watched him. "Spike, why are you bleeding?"

Cloud shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine." He couldn't concern himself when Cloud had lost his baby. He couldn't concern himself when he was doing this to him. "Zack, I have to go. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for, baby?" Zack managed, motioning to Tseng at the small puddle of blood along his leg.

"That you met me," Cloud managed, stomach cramping. His chest heaved. "That you loved me." Pain lanced up his body as he tried to continue. "That I couldn't be what you wanted."

Zack frowned at him, walking over and seeming to ignore the warning look in Tseng's eyes as he leaned down and swept him off his feet. "Shiva help me, you're burning up." Cloud didn't understand what was happening, but his arms found their way around Zack's neck as he clung to the other.

He must have been pregnant. That's what the blood meant, right? Just yet another thing he had failed at. Sephiroth would be so disappointed in him. "I wish it was you," Cloud managed, wrapping his arms around Zack's neck.

The SOLDIER leaned down, lips trembling as they pressed to his forehead. "I wish it were me too, Spike. We gotta get you help now though, alright?"

Cloud shook his head, inhaling the calming wild scent. He didn't even give Zack the opportunity to properly get angry. He had taken even that away from him. "I'm fine."

"The fuck you are," Tseng bit out coldly. "They're going to kill me for this. They've been trying to get it to take for weeks."

"Get it to take?" Zack questioned the Turk. "You're all a bunch of monsters. He's just a kid. He doesn't deserve this!"

Tseng shook his head. "Doesn't he? Even in this he manages to manipulate. You know, he could have taken the suppressants. He chose to go into heat when you weren't here."

It was true, wasn't it? He could have pressed Hojo for the meds. He had chosen on his own to walk out of that lab knowing full well the pain would get to him. Knowing full well that he already planned to submit. Cloud stared at the droplets of blood dripping off his boot. Tseng was right, even now he was letting his body dictate his choices from what was right to what was easy.

Cloud pressed his hand against Zack's chest, feeling the way it was racing with worry. "Put me down."

"Like hell," Zack bit back, shaking his head. "We don't know what could happen to you."

"It's not your business," Cloud managed, shoving at him. "Put me down."

Tseng cleared his throat. "Seems the brat wants to be put down."

Zack glowered at the Turk, arms tightening around him. "You think we should just let him go back to training bleeding?"

The Turk shook his head. "I don't think that at all. He's not allowed to go to training any longer. Cloud here is a kept bitch."

Blond spikes fell over his eyes as he couldn't bear to look at Zack as his hand tightened in shame in his sweater. "That's right." He used Zack's distraction from the statement to wiggle out of those arms, getting his footing back as he swayed with the fever. "Sephiroth will be worried." He refused to meet the Alpha's eyes. "Why would I train when I got what I wanted?"

Tseng scoffed, seeming to realize what was going on as he crossed his arms. "Let's go Cloud. I'll take you back to the apartment."

"You're not taking him anywhere," Zack spoke with barely repressed rage. "He's bleeding all over the pavement!"

"I'm fine," Cloud tried.

"You're not fine!" Zack yelled, throwing his hand out in exasperation. "None of this is fine! You being raised in a 10x10 room in a Shinra basement isn't fine! Your memories being wiped from you for a game isn't fine! The fact that my friend took you from me due to some hormonal impulse isn't fine!" He shook his head in disgust. "And Shinra using you to breed...that's not fine either."

Cloud looked down to hide the way his eyes were watering yet again. If he didn't do this, Zack would still be in danger. He would have a target on his back. "I had him get rid of the baby," he lied, arm wrapped around his stomach. "Yours. I had him take me off the suppressants. I told you I wasn't a good person." He forced himself to look up. "I'm not who you think I am...and I don't really love you." He remembered Zack's anxiety after they had gotten together, knew exactly what could most hurt him. "I just wanted fucked...it didn't matter who."

Zack's mouth was set in a hard line, but his eyes were glossy as he stared him down. "You need to go to the infirmary."

Cloud scoffed, shaking his head. "You're pathetic," he managed, as his soul died inside. "Go find someone else to cling to." He turned to Tseng then, pleading with his eyes to get him out of there as he felt like he was about 10 seconds from passing out from the pain.

Tseng, even being the asshole that he was, seemed to realize what was happening as he grabbed him by the arm and leaned him against his body, looking back at Zack. "There are cameras everywhere. You realize that, don't you? That he's watched? That you can do better?"

He heard the SOLDIER sigh. "Just get him help, alright? He's in pain."

Cloud's arm was yanked as Tseng pulled him away, and he didn't have the heart to look back at Zack. If he looked back he would tell him that none of it was true. He would break down in apology for having hurt him. But Tseng was right, there were cameras. They were watching, and if Cloud cut ties with the SOLDIER, then maybe the bullseye on his back would go away.

The second they were off the station platform and back inside, Tseng swept down to pick Cloud up. He would never admit how grateful he was as the pain in his stomach was beyond comprehension as sweat broke out across his brow. "Fuck, you're stupid." Tseng managed, rushing towards the elevator. "You're going to go septic."

"No," Cloud managed, grabbing shakily at his tie. "No. Don't take me up there."

The Turk's eyes widened. "Are you serious? Do you know what happens when literally the only pregnant male to ever exist starts to hemorrhage? Do you? Because I don't."

"They'll blame him," Cloud knitted his eyebrows, pleading with his eyes as he panted with the pain. "They'll kill him. They just want the baby...and he ruined that. They'll kill him Tseng." He shook his head in desperation. "We can just use materia to heal me. It won't be bad. They probably didn't see the blood on the cameras. How would they?"

Tseng glared at him. "If you die they'll kill me. They'll kill my family. They'll kill everyone I've ever loved."

Cloud nodded. "They will, but I won't die. We can just use materia. Nobody has to know. They haven't tested me today."

The Turk exhaled in resignation, before whisking him towards the stairs. "Fine."

Genesis glanced out of the corner of his eye as Sephiroth seemed...distracted. More than that. He seemed worried. They were co-teaching a class for the first years, and Sephiroth hadn't looked up once from his phone as Genesis ran drills.

The SOLDIER corrected a trainee's form, walking over to the taller man. "Everything okay with Blondie?" Green eyes glared at him, turning off the phone as he looked up. Genesis grinned as the other couldn't even pretend to give a shit about this class. "Zack gets home today, doesn't he?"

Sephiroth frowned at him, and Genesis could practically feel that ire leaking from his skin. "Mind your business."

The SOLDIER grinned at his friend, shaking his head. "Sorry, this really sucks. Either way you lose one of them, right? Or both?"

"I can just feel the sympathy radiating off of you," Sephiroth murmured. "When did you gain such benevolence? Was it when you were in Nibelheim once a month keeping my mate company?"

Genesis shrugged. "I told you why. It's not fair that you're the only one that gets one."

"He's a person," Sephiroth reminded him. "I didn't just 'get' him."

"No?" Genesis questioned. "You won him over by all your own merit, did you?

"Do you have a point?" Sephiroth bit out with a glare.

"My point is...it's gotta suck for you right now. I was trying to be your friend...probably your last friend by now." He looked down at his watch. "Zack got home an hour ago." Genesis saw the look of pain travel across Sephiroth's face, and he knew that Sephiroth was more than aware of when that train was due in.

"What's to say he won't choose him?" Genesis raised an eyebrow at the obvious insecurities that Sephiroth had.

"Seph…" Genesis started softly. "Are you crazy?" He shifted uneasily, not sure of how much to divulge. "Don't you see the way Blondie looks at you?"

Sephiroth scoffed. "Like I forced this on him? Yeah, I see."

Genesis laughed before he could stop himself, quieting at Sephiroth's glare. "Oh...you were serious."

"You…" Genesis looked around. "You know...you've met him before, right? When he came to Shinra...like seven years ago?"

Sephiroth looked over at him in question. "What are you talking about? I've never met Cloud."

Genesis made a face as he shrugged, about to come clean about Sephiroth's altered memories before someone came flying through the air at them.

"You bastard!" Genesis cringed as Zack's voice filtered through the air as he tackled Sephiroth back on the training mat.

Sephiroth raised his arms to block his face as fist after fist wailed down upon him. He was defending himself, but he wasn't attacking Zack back. "How could you do this to him?"

Him…

Genesis shook his head. Zack was only thinking about Cloud even now. ...The stupid bastard.

"Why would you play into their hands!? Why would you make him exactly what they wanted him to be!?" Zack's voice was raw, filled with pain. "He will never be anything other than what Hojo made him to be... We did this to him."

Genesis glowered at the training class who seemed ready to step in and help, holding his hand up to still them.

"You didn't do anything," Sephiroth absolved him. "You didn't know."

"Didn't know?" Zack questioned. "Sure...Sure I didn't. Didn't know when I smelt him that first time in Northern mountains. Didn't know that first time he slept over after game night and had a wet dream where he actually got wet." Zack grabbed at his dark spikes, seated on Sephiroth's lap. "Certainly didn't know that night down in the slums, did I? I'm just as guilty as you are. He's a fucking unsocialized lab experiment designed to give us pleasure, and that's on me as much as you for taking advantage!"

"He consented," Sephiroth pointed out. "You don't have to feel guilt."

"The fuck I don't," Zack managed, and Genesis winced as he punched Sephiroth in the cheek. Blood sprayed across the mat as he glared down the troopers who looked nervous enough to piss themselves.

He needed a drink after this.

"You know what's really hard about this, Seph?" Zack questioned, cupping each side of Sephiroth's face as he leaned down. "You were my best friend. I loved you the most." Zack broke down then, face encapsulating pain as he covered his eyes. "Fuck…" he managed, and Genesis winced as Zack spit in Sephiroth's face before getting up and stalking out of the room.

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