"It's so good we can reconnect", Angela says, while I engulf the last piece of my chocolate cake. The café where we are having lunch is very welcoming and quiet, with its white and pale rose sofas and round wooden tables. I always wanted to go inside to have lunch when I called Angela yesterday, and it was the perfect occasion.
"I'm so sorry I never take time for you, Angie. I swear each year when I text you for your birthday, I promise myself I'm going to invite you to lunch and then, something happens at work, and I forget. I'm really sorry."
She smiles and pats my hand, cutting me off. "Don't apologize Bells, Life happens. I should have done the same but never took the time. I'm as guilty as you are. The important is that we've finally managed to see each other."
"But not for the best of reasons" I scoff.
She laughs. "At least, he did something good in his life if he managed to reconnect us with his reappearance."
After what happened the other day in Mike's office, I needed to talk about it and decided to call Angela. She's the only person who knows everything that happened with Edward during high school and the only one I can talk about it without being judged. Even at that time, she was a comprehensive mind.
"Sooooo, he dared to play cocky with you?"
"Same old Edward, Angie. It's like I came back to that time in one second. The same arrogant bastard. And I hate myself, so much."
"Why do you hate yourself? I thought you made peace with everything. You know, nothing was tour fault. He played you. For months."
For weeks after what happened, I felt guilty about not being able to see he manipulated me. I remember talking for hours with Angela about how miserable I felt. She managed ton make me realise I wasn't at fault there and that he was the one to blame entirely.
"I know, that's not because of that I hate myself. That's because one word from him and I feel like I'm gonna combust."
She pats my hand once more. "I thought that's because deep down your body reminds you that you need to protect yourself against him."
I sigh and look down, unable to meet Angela's eyes at that moment. "No, it's because that he just needs to say the words for me to want him again".
"Oh fuck, that's bad", she exhales. "But it's just lust, Bells, the kind of feeling you can experience when you're attracted to someone on tv or in the street. You know you're attracted physically to him, especially if he's still as gorgeous as he was. That doesn't mean you'll act on it. You're happy with Mike, but it doesn't mean you can't be attracted to a body. It causes no harm."
She's right. At least, I hope. My body tingled for hours after our conversation and when I came back home, I had to go on a long run to let go of the tension I was feeling.
"Tell me more, has he changed? Has Edward Cullen grown up in an ordinary boring business man, or is he still a sexy beast ?" she laughs.
"Worse. He's absolutely lethal. Pure sex on legs".