RPOV
I couldn't stop staring out the window. You would think I'd never seen trees before but these were different, these were Montana trees that had the richest green leaves and then the trees gave way to miles of emerald carpet that stretched out to the mountains that lined the horizon. It was beautiful. I wanted to stand still out there, on the grass, surrounded by the green and cool, clean air with the powder blue sky above me. The idea seemed peaceful.
The road dips downward and I turn away from the window. My lips part, we were driving into another city…or maybe it was a town. The buildings were all mostly the same height and shape and aligned neatly in the streets. There weren't as many winding paths for the car to follow. We pass the first building and I expect to feel something like I had crossing the ward boundaries but I don't.
There are people. People on the streets, people ducking in and out of buildings, standing on the streets smoking and crossing in front of our car when we paused in front of the red light. People different shapes and sizes, not gaunt or nervous looking but young and old and in between.
"What are you thinking?" Dimitri asks, breaking the silence we'd held for twenty three minutes.
I play with the pendant and answer quietly. "Who are the Alchemists?"
"They're a group of people who believe in keeping our world away from human society. We don't know too much about them except what they allow us to know. They help us conceal activity from the humans. They are academics and somewhat religious."
My understanding is still muddy. I knot my fingers together and make myself to go on. "Humans don't know about Moroi and Guardians because of Alchemists?"
"Yes. Alchemists cover our tracks."
"So…humans don't know about strigoi either?" I think about the body left in the woods and looking out the window I try to imagine the monsters stalking through these streets. I shiver.
"No. Humans don't know anything about us or them. Alchemists have ways of disposing of the bodies or making attacks on humans seem like tragedy's their acquainted with. Vampires are just bedtime stories."
The human world sounded like a bedtime story. A world without vicious blood drinkers, Guardians and fear.
"What do you know of religion?" Dimitri asks, his hand yanking on the stick between our seats.
My first instinct is to lie or to no say anything but I make myself think. I was allowed to think now… to an extent. "It's about…believing in something isn't it?"
He glances over at me and nods. I feel a flutter of joy in my chest.
"Something transcendent, spiritual, a higher being. Most Alchemists believe in the religion Christianity but it differs. One thing they all agree on however is the natural order, humanity was created by the divine. Nowhere in the natural order do vampires or their offspring belong."
He turns onto a street where the buildings are smaller with lawns and driveways stationed at every one.
"So they don't like us?"
"They think our existence is an abomination."
"So they really don't like us."
He stops the car the in front of a redbrick house.
"Why are we going to see someone who hates us?" I ask turning to him. He was already watching me.
"Unlike other believers Alchemists believe in the pursuit of knowledge and are advanced medically. They'll be able to prescribe something to help your burn and hopefully leave you with no scarring. They don't hate us personally but rather our existence overall."
"Why would they help you?"
"They help us because we may be one evil but the Strigoi are a greater one, one that we both work against."
"An Alchemist is going to give me medicine because you kill Strigoi?" I ask, trying to summarize.
"I didn't explain this very well." He says turning to look at the house. "Alchemists help us because when we work for the same cause. Every interaction is recorded. It's all very formal." He turns back to me and I realize that this time I don't instinctively want to look away. "This is not formal. This is off the books and pretty unorthodox for them."
"So they might not give us medicine?" I guess, the barriers against exhaustion were coming down now and there was bruisey kind of pain behind my eyes.
"Oh he'll help us." Dimitri says, which conflicts with everything he' said.
"Why?" I ask, copying him by unclicking my seatbelt.
"Because I'll tell him to."
I'm struck for a moment by the power in the short sentence and the amount of envy I felt. It's enough time for him to come around to my side of the car and open the door. I hop out into the quiet street.
"You can leave that in the car." Dimitri says gently. He nods down and I look down at the dessert in my hands. Quickly I set it down in my vacated seat.
I must look so greedy…and desperate.
I wrap my arms around myself as he shuts the door. I wondered how many people lived in one house, there had to be at least twenty on this street. The sun was full in the sky and there were white fluffy clouds dotted around the blue but it wasn't anywhere near as warm as Arizona. It was the temperature of a cool night but maybe it would get warmer later, at noon when the sun was high in the sky.
Dimitri looks from me to the sky. "The sooner we do this the sooner we can go home and sleep."
He walks toward the house, up the paved driveway and I follow automatically, my mind elsewhere.
Home.
NOUN: The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.
His sharp rap on the door snaps me out of my head. A figure is getting bigger in the frosted glass and I realize the obscure Alchemist person was coming down the hall. Anxiety falls over me like ice water and I felt myself shrinking. Dimitri said these people hated us and now were intruding in their house. If I knew anything it was to not aggravate someone who hated you.
Glancing up at Dimitri's unconcerned expression I tried to set my shoulders but it just made my arm twinge angrily. The bruise behind my eyes and the pain advancing in my arm was almost making my face spasm.
The door swings open and I swallow down all the physical discomfort as a boy fills the doorway looking very, very irritated. I notice his hard eyes were a dull blue and immediately drop my gaze.
"Good morning Keith."
"It was." The other man's voice sounds like its being pulled through his teeth. "I wasn't aware we had business today."
"It's unofficial and urgent. Can we come in?"
"Both those conditions warrant a direct message from your boss. And direct compensation."
I hear the door being swung closed and out of the corner of my eye, I see Dimitri's arm shoot up. There's a dull thud and I peek up at Dimitri's palm against the half closed door and Keith's outraged expression beyond it.
"You're dealing with me directly."
Keith's nostrils flare. "I want double."
"Fine." Dimitri bites down on the 'f' before the rest of the word trails after it.
Keith walks away and Dimitri pushes the door open, motioning for me to go inside. I step into the dim hallway taking in how small yet proportioned it was with a dark wooden floor with bare red walls. It's a short hallway and Keith's disappeared around the corner at the end, Dimitri's presence behind me is the only reason I could follow without faltering or freezing. At the end of the hall is a door with glass panels and I glimpse a cooker and counters, a kitchen, and just with a small glimpse I'm comparing to the size I'm used to. It was less than half. This house was like a miniature version of the Ozera's. I turn the corner Keith disappeared around and it opens up into a cosy room with a couch and two arm chairs, this must be the living room.
Keith is sitting on the arm of one of the chairs with his arms folded, glaring at us. I pause and feel the warmth of Dimitri pressing reassuringly against my back. I envied how he had body heat to spare when I was still cold, even inside this house. I wonder if he is just naturally warm blooded or it's because of his long coat.
"What do you want?" Keith demands glaring inches above my head. That's brave.
"Rose needs medical examination and treatment for a burn." For the first time Keith looks at me, his eyes going down and then up. I didn't like it. "I heard you had a female colleague staying with you for a few days, I think that would be more appropriate."
Keith's eyes had made it to my face when he replies. "Miss Sage is on assignment."
"Can you call her back?"
"No."
"You can't or you won't?"
"Even if I could, I wouldn't." Keith says, looking back at Dimitri with a smug expression.
"Because then someone would know you have your hand in a Moroi pocket? Not very ethical."
Keith's expression sobers. "No, Sydney wouldn't say a word. She's on important Alchemist business and I can't compromise her cover by demanding she run back here for this girl." He glances at me. "Is she anorexic or something?"
What?
"Can you do what you're being paid for without commentary?" Dimitri says with a sharp edge to his voice that makes me want to hunch my shoulders.
"You haven't paid me yet." There's a moment of tense silence as they stare at each other. Keith sighs and stands. "Come through to the back."
I wait and let Dimitri take the lead this time, then follow him through the dining room into another hallway. There were two doors, one that led out to a small garden and the one Keith goes through. It was a room unlike I'd ever seen. The only thing I recognised was a computer exactly like the one in Master Ozera's study but everything else had me staring. A table laden with tools, glass jars and vials, all filled with different coloured substances, liquid or powdered, one had a mixture of both. On the other side of the room was a high padded looking table, or lounge chair and beside it was a screen with wheels attached. Keith is now behind the wooden desk that held the computer and is clicking away on its keyboard and Dimitri is looking over his shoulder at the screen. There are cupboards with locks and a window behind their heads that I could see the garden through.
This room made me nervous. I know it's different house, in a different state but it held some similarities to the Masters study. Even the air of the room is the same, how you knew not to touch anything encase you spoiled it.
Keith reaches for a small machine and holds it out to Dimitri. He takes it and slides a small, thin card into it. Dimitri's fingers tap quickly against it and there's a small beep. Keith's shoulders relax.
"Go behind the screen and change into the gown." Keith says to one in particular.
I wait until Dimitri looks at me to confirm that Keith was talking to me. It isn't until he nods that I can make myself move. I do as I'm told, trying to keep my breathing regular.
I'm about to take my clothes off in a small room with two men in it. One was something, a Guardian, I'd feared all my life and the other is something I didn't understand but knew he hated me because of blood. Because I'm unnatural and there is no way to appease something like that. No amount of politeness or making myself invisible could.
And then there's the matter that they are being hostile to each other, in this very small, and what if they hurt me? What if they held me down on that table? Would anyone hear me screaming? No, no. I couldn't think like that. I had to hold on to the smallest pieces of evidence that that wouldn't happen. Like how Dimitri is nothing like the other Guardians, or even mean like Spiridon.
And he had promised my mother. That promise was carved into his hand.
Behind the screen, there's a long shirt hanging up. It's very light and very thin. I toe off her shoes. I pull my arms out of the sweater first so it's still around me as I figure out the shirt. I yank it over my head and pull the gown over me as fast as I can. My knuckles smack the rail in my haste and I bite down on my lip. I hold my breath, waiting for either one of them to say something but neither do. I straighten out the gown and then pull the jeans off.
I stand for a second feeling the cool air of the room on my skin. I was too aware of my underwear and for once the tight bind of the bandages was comforting. At least the gown hung off me…but I still felt exposed. With my eyes down I step out from behind the barrier.
"Alright, sit up on the table." Keith's orders.
I peek up at it and make my way over. Its surface was above my hip. I swallow and hop up on to it. Brown leather shoes appear on the ground and then fingers begin tugging at Dimitri's tourniquet making me wince.
"Careful." Dimitri says and I feel myself relax a little. I had worried he'd left.
Keith sighs but his movements become gentler as he unwraps my wound.
The last layer comes away he inhales sharply. "Jesus. Are those…is that a handprint? How the hell-"
"Details aren't important. Can you treat it?"
"How old is it?"
"About a day. I did the best I could with disinfectant."
"It might scar a little."
I tug the gown neatly under my knees so it's more secure as I hear Keith unscrewing something I imagine is one of the jars and my thoughts are confirmed when he places it next to me. It was a small tub filled with a green looking sludge. The smell of peppermint hits my nose. Keith scoops a mound out on his fingers and that's when I see the damage for the first time. The tan skin of my upper arm is marred by swollen red skin in the centre of it. Blisters the size of pebbles bubbled out of my skin and where there weren't blisters there were grooves of where her fingers had been. The indents had yellowish look to them, like off meat. I look away, unable to digest the image, and worried if I looked any longer the water my head is swimming in would start churning.
I find Dimitri standing opposite me, leaning against Keith's desk with his arms folded. His alert eyes are trained on Keith's work. I gasp as something cold merges with the heat of the burn but just as soon as the stinging starts it'd gone, replaced by a weird cooling sensation that makes the exposed part of burn feel hotter.
I focus on Dimitri's face, the calmness of it and try to make myself feel the same way as Keith applies the rest of the paste. Under the coolness of it is a strange tingling. My arm is going numb.
"She'll need to put this on every morning or night for two weeks." Keith says and he screws the lid back on.
Dimitri's eyes leave his movements and meet mine. Nothing in his expression changes that drastically, only the tightness around his eyes lessens and despite the bindings around my chest some pressure leaves it.
"A fire user did that right?" Keith says and the disgust dripping from his voice makes me look at him. He pushes a blonde lock out of eyes, his lips pressed into a hard line. "It's so disgusting."
"Just get the physical over and done with." Dimitri responds flatly.
From then Keith prods me and taps my knees with an instrument that makes my legs twitch. He takes my weight, my measurements and the whole time no one speaks with the exception of when he was instructing me to do things. Like follow his fingers as he shone a light in my eyes or to open my mouth so he could tap my teeth. Every time the anxiety threatened to rocket up my spine I peeked over at Dimitri who would be watching Keith but always felt my stare. He'd meet it and it would ease me slightly so I could look back down at floor with panic at bay. The worst part was when Keith was measuring my chest. Dimitri's body had looked coiled, ready to snap into action at any moment. He followed Keith's movements with sharp eyes which Keith was more than aware of.
It was hell.
On top of that exhaustion was beating over me in waves. By the time Keith finishes I'm swaying on the spot and have to put a hand on the table to steady myself.
"I trust she's going to get proper nourishment from now on?" Keith asks, walking behind his desk. Dimitri only nods. "She needs a rich diet of protein and dairy which should get her riboflavin levels up. I'll print you off a nutrition plan. Make her eat at least five times a day, the basic three meals but small and the other two snacks based around the plan."
Five times?
"One reason to be thankful you're an abomination." Keith says and I look up at him as he hands a sheet of paper to Dimitri. "You endure better."
"Abominations often have to." Dimitri responds flatly. He looks over his shoulder at me. "Get dressed."
I trudge back behind the curtain and this time I have to hold onto the wall behind me for support as I dress.
"I can only guess where she came from." I hear Keith say quietly as I tug my jeans on. "And you can't bring her here ever again. It's bad enough to have risked a trip here at all but bringing a slave here. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking you're under our payroll and if you forget that then you can be severely reminded."
"Stop threatening me, I'm saying this for both our benefits. Discretion is the key or this will blow up in all our faces."
"You're the one in danger of re-education. Not us."
There's a sound like something hard thudding against the desk.
"How do you even know about that? That's Alchemist business. It has nothing to do with your kind!" Keith's voice is an angry hiss and it wakes me up slightly.
"Do you see how problematic it is to speak about everything you know? I told you details don't matter and yet you've mentioned them. She is not your business, where she came from is not your business and as soon as we leave this whole thing never happened. That will benefit us all. Understand?"
There's no response but the silence conveys admission. Dressed again I step out from behind the curtain. Keith is sitting behind his desk looking more furious than he had when we showed up.
"Do we need pain killers?"
Keith doesn't look away from his computer screen. "The salve acts as a painkiller as well as accelerating the healing process."
Dimitri picks up the jar of the green paste. "Thank you for your help. Victor will be in touch."
"Just get out."
Dimitri nods to the door and I shuffle out with him shadowing my steps. The living room is bathed in bright morning light and it makes my itchy eyes ache more. At the front door Dimitri reaches past me to turn the lock and steps out first, his gaze sweeping the street. I'm so distracted by his Guardian instincts that I miss the next step off the porch and the ground is rushing up to my face.
A hand grabs my left arm and I stumble so I catch myself on my knees.
"Are you alright?" He demands, crouching down beside me. I can only nod, speaking costs too much. "Do you want help to the car?"
I hesitate. The thought of picking myself off the ground right now makes me want to curl up here on the path but I remember how he thinks I'm vulnerable and I can't be. I was on my own now. I shake my head and somehow push myself up and stumble toward the car with Dimitri close to my side the whole time. I didn't have the energy to even tell him I was fine.
He opens the car door for me and without asking this time he knocks my knees out from under me and lifts me into the car seat, placing something in my lap. When he shuts the door my eyes snap open, looking blearily down at the dessert in my lap. I must have blinked but only completed half the process and failed to open them. I shake my head trying to keep alert as he slides into the driver's seat.
"You can sleep now, Rose." He says quietly.
I can't. What if something bad happened to me?
"Nothing is going to happen to you. Go to sleep."
The gentle purr of the car and the warmth seeping into my skin diminished any fight left in me. I slipped away into the dark.
Why was I back here again? I didn't belong here.
The looming staircase rose up above me, a stairwell into the dark. I flinch as high pitched maniac laughter bounces around the tiles and slanting walls.
"You can't hide from me Rosemarie." She sings. "I'm coming to get you."
I run for the front door but it seems to be getting further away and the ground was tilting in odd angles under my feet so I keep falling. Each slam into my knees makes me think they are going to break until finally I can't get up and I'm clawing my way forward. The laughter is getting louder and closer, the hair on the back of my neck standing up and screaming or was I screaming?
I finally reach the door and I know if I can make it outside I'll be okay. If I could get away from this place I would be okay.
There's a loud bang as boots land in front of my face and I'm being pulled up by my arms, the fingers clamped on me are hot and are burning into my skin. I won't let her do this again, I won't let her hurt me, I won't let my mother pay a price to help me.
But when I meet her eyes they aren't her eyes. They are not blazing blue but sinister red, framed by dark hair. Dimitri's lips pull back over his long, sharp fangs.
Now I know I'm screaming. He snarls and yanks my head to the side and agony explodes in my neck.
And I can still hear her laughing, so loudly it goes hand in hand with my screaming.
"Rose, Rose, wake up."
There's a stiffness in my neck and the menacing scarlet is burning in my mind. A hand clutches my shoulder and automatically I strike out. There's muffled 'umph' as my knuckles connect and glance off something hard which makes my eyes snap open.
Dimitri holds up his hand in a peaceful gesture. He's almost bearing over me as he stands by the open door to my side of the car. "It's just me."
My heartbeat is pulsing in my ears and I sink further down my chair.
"You were having a nightmare and I was trying to wake you."
My eyes dart from his cautious expression to his upheld hand and hold on the clean, red slice in the centre. I swallow and make myself sit up straight, nodding. I should not have fallen asleep. I had to be stronger than this. I fight against the haziness in my head and something slides sideways in my lap. Dimitri's hand catches the dessert before I can. That's good, I'd already ruined one.
"Thank you." I mumble.
"Can you walk? We're here."
It takes a moment for his words to sink in and form meaning. I nod and fumble to undo my belt. Dimitri steps away and I slide out of the car, my knees go weak beneath me and I catch myself against the car.
"Do you want-"
I shake my head which I hope acts to clear it too. He shuts the door and I drag my eyes up from the ground, and they widen at the sight I'm met with.
It's a big house. Nowhere near as big as the one back in Arizona but bigger than Keith's had been. It isn't made of intimidating brick or structured like the Ozera's. It's rectangular and well proportioned, and some of it was grey or smooth, soft white. It was also tall, a balcony jutted out on the second floor and there was another floor above it. The house is bathed in sunlight and around it the jade on the trees gleamed.
Dimitri walks around the car and I notice two others identical to his one parked further up the drive.
"Rose…" Dimitri calls. He is standing patiently on the path that leads to the porch.
To the left, the ground turned into a slope that ended in a metal shutter. What is down there? This place is my new minefield.
I swallow against the tightness in my throat and trudge after him, the brightness of the morning making my eyes burn. On the porch he flips open a silver keypad and quickly he taps over the keys in a long series that I can't follow. There's a beep and the keypad lights up green. Dimitri slides a card along the top of it and then reaches for the large grey door that swings open easily. I was willing to bet that without knowing the code the door would be much more difficult to get through.
I follow Dimitri's boots over the threshold, the ground changing from brick to smooth, stone coloured tile. The warmth persuades me to look up as my curiosity is being smothered by exhaustion. It's a huge space, to the right is just one big room, coloured with designs in rich chocolates and cream. There are two couches and an armchair, a coffee table and along the far wall, a TV dominated the centre. Off from this living area was an elegant dining table that seated six. Above it hung three bulbous lights, their shades a sheer goldish colour that made me think when they were turned on they would be dazzlingly bright. It's then I notice just how dim it was in here, especially in the back wall, behind the table was a wall of dark glass.
I blink and strain my eyes trying to determine that it was in fact glass and not just a shiny wall. But yes I could see leaves fluttering on the trees through it, it is glass the same or close to the windows in our cars. Tinted.
A noise like a cupboard being closed grabs my attention and I realize I've been alone in my staring. To my left is an archway and stepping forward I'm able to peer around the wall. It leads to a kitchen, an appropriate sized one and Dimitri is currently setting bottles down on the granite counter. I sway to the side and right myself before I can stumble.
Directly opposite is a staircase and I can't help but think how welcoming the carpet looks on it. Mr. Dashkov had said I would have a room but I had never let myself think about it. I couldn't even picture it really, it was ridiculous. I would be blessed to sleep on the landing.
"Rose." Dimitri calls. I shuffle into the kitchen and he meets me halfway. His height catches me off guard again so I'm craning my neck back to look at him. "I know you're tired but I want you to drink this before we go to bed."
He holds out a water bottle and I stare stupidly at it before taking it. The ache behind my eyes is expanding and wrapping around my brain like ivy.
"Why?" I hear myself mumble as I pry the cap off.
"When you sleep you become dehydrated and I'm worried you're already too much so."
The bottle top pauses at my lips and I look all the way up at his face. "You're worried?"
His dark eyes are closed doors indicating he was neither going to repeat nor confirm what he'd said. Maybe I'd heard wrong. Maybe this was all a dream and I was still lost in a painkiller haze back at the barn. I take as big of gulps as I can manage until the bottles empty and silently he takes it from me. He opens a cupboard under the sink that has a trash can attached to the back of the door and disposes of it. I trudge out of the kitchen after him, wrapping my dead-weight arms around myself. Now that my arm isn't hurting (it was pleasantly cool and numb) there is nothing to anchor me to my head or to make me focus. I just want to shut down.
But I can't, I have to be aware.
I should have drunk more of his coffee.
"Rose, did you hear me?"
I reel back and almost stumble. "Sorry."
Dimitri's hard gaze softens around the edges but only slightly. "It's fine. I just asked can you manage the stairs."
"Yes, I can manage." Because I wasn't vulnerable and how could I say no?
I grip the bannister and begin climbing. My legs were wet water bags with weak joints, I kept expecting to crash to my knees which made me grip the bannister tighter. Dimitri's boots kept pausing on the steps above me and I knew he was waiting for my legs to fail too.
I am not vulnerable. I am not a child.
Finally, we reach the landing and it's more than dim up here. My mother had said Dhampirs had heightened senses and I wondered if I were human would I be completely blinded by the dark now.
There are two doors that met us at the top of the stairs, one on either side. Dimitri crosses to the one on the left and I follow, sparing a glance down the hall where I can see two other doors and another staircase.
"This will be your room." Dimitri says quietly, opening the door. Light illuminates and then dims down to a glow.
Dumbly I come to stand beside him. It's a big and simply decorated room. There's a huge bed, a bedside table with a lamp, a chest of drawers, and a wardrobe. I take another step inside and my feet inside the mistress's shoes sink down into the brown carpet. Beside the wardrobe is another door. Perhaps my room is through there, maybe that's what he meant.
"That's your bathroom. Do you need me to show you how to work the shower? Or can it wait until morning?"
I did another sweep of the room, details starting to register. Three of the walls are a very soft green that reminds me of the vast fields we'd see on the way here. The main wall that had the headboard of the bed against is a cream like downstairs. On the left side, the west wall, is a bay window but the taupe curtains were drawn. The drawers, the table, the wardrobe, and the iron-wrought headboard were all white too. It reflected outside I think, this room.
This room. This couldn't be mine.
"Rose, are you alright?" Dimitri asks, stepping away from the door and toward where I'd drifted to.
"Where do I sleep?" I ask.
"In the bed."
I turn back to the giant thing, laden in a cream duvet with green swirls upon it and four fat pillows. A fist closes around my throat.
"If you need anything." He says in a voice more gentle than he's used all night. "I'm across the hall. Don't be afraid to ask."
The door closes with quiet click.
I swallow thickly and reach out toward the bed, expecting it to disappear at my touch. The white iron barrier at the foot is cool and sturdy under my hands. My breath catches and my lungs tremble and I can't help it, tears spill over my cheeks. My hand leaves the iron and wanders to the duvet, it felt almost wrong to do so, to explore it encase I spoiled it.
There's a soft pat as a tear hits its surface.
Stop it.
I wipe at my cheeks. I couldn't waste time crying over it. If I got to sleep here then I had to make the most of it, I had to appreciate it because tomorrow might be very different. I toe easily out of her too big shoes and gingerly sit down. It sinks a little beneath me and my eyes close, and it's like the softness is coaxing me to lie down, to curl up and let dreams tug me away.
I'm about to push myself deeper into its centre when I notice the bottom of her jeans is dirty. I hadn't been able to roll them up as my mother had after changing at Keith's. I bite my lip and then pop the button that was almost around my waist. I wriggle out of the trousers and fold them up, placing them on the bedside table so they would be close in the morning. I put her shoes neatly on the floor beside it.
I hurry back over to the door, where the light switch is, and I try not to think about my bare legs. It was a round thing and I realized it rotated too. I test it and the light above me dims further and blazes up when turned the other direction. I push it inward and the light clicks off altogether.
Walking back to the bed I think I must be half asleep already, poised on the edge of dreaming. I peel the duvet back and crawl between the covers. Soft just so soft and firm and the weight of the covers is like an embrace. I cocoon myself in the green and cream, tucking one pillow under my head. No one could find me in here. I could get lost in this bed and never find my way out. I wouldn't mind. No bad dreams or bad people could find me. Although my mother did and I fell asleep with her pendant pressing against my heart, wishing she was here pressing against my back.
I'm not sure what wakes me. I'm buried under soft rocks and a thick tent. I push up onto my elbows, disorientated and confused by the colours. It's quiet, so quiet and a different sort of warm, not dry heat ticking my nose and throat. I pull at the canopy over my head and push the pillows aside until I surface. I'm confused and panic for a moment until my mind catches up and I remember everything.
I rub the sleep from my eyes and look around. I was halfway down the bed and I'd somehow dragged two pillows down with me. The duvet is all pulled and piled up around me as if I'd kept it close in unconscious fear it would run away. I'd made a mess.
I untangle myself and crawl to the edge of the bed, fully aware of the pain in my abdomen and it is the reason I woke. At least I hadn't wet myself.
Cautiously I open the door Dimitri had said was a bathroom. In the dimness, I see a toilet ahead and to the left a bath and a shower, paired beside each other. I flick the switch next to my shoulder and blink as the light comes on. I step inside and close the door behind me, it starts to dawn on me how fortunate I was that I didn't have to venture far to relieve myself. Even if I were allowed to wander around the house I don't think I could.
Halfway across the dark tiles that felt warm under my feet something moves out of the corner of my eye and I let out a short scream. Made short because I stumble back, my knees connecting with the bath and giving out under me so I fall in, smacking my head on the side.
I scramble to sit up, looking around the small bathroom and finding it empty. I was alone. Then I notice it, a few inches up higher and poised above the sink. A mirror.
The first time I'd seen myself and I'd fell over screaming. Somehow this made the whole idea less exciting than it had been back in Arizona.
"Idiot." I mutter and climb out of the bath, casting the mirror a wary look.
What if I was really that…ugly? Or frightening. A mere glance had caused me an injury so what was looking going to achieve?
I rub my head and glare again at the mirror that was proudly reflecting the bathroom. My bladder reacted angrily to the trauma and with my eyes down I scurry over to the toilet. Afterward I approach the sink without lifting my eyes and wash my hands.
Why was I so scared? I suppose it was like meeting someone you'd heard or known about your whole life but never seen. But it was me… I knew me. I'd known me my whole life. It wasn't like I was meeting someone who would then reject me or hurt me in any way… except I could. I could reject me. But I had to know, my mother always told me that knowledge was the best thing you could ever own.
I look up.
I exhale shakily and the reflection does the same, drawing my eyes to her lips. They were full and slightly pouty, a pale pink but in the middle you could see where they had been bitten nervously. Her top lips defined with a soft bow. I lean in closer, eyeing her guardedly and she looks back me just as wary. I can see now my lips are slightly chapped and her tongue pokes out unconsciously. I travel up and examine her eyes, they were almost too big in her face and the colour of the bedroom carpet. I try to find some recognition within them but in their frame of dark lashes they become even more estranged as her eyes search mine.
I could see however the things my mother worried about. She was kind of pretty. It lurked in her eyes even though they were cautious and her skin was smooth and clear looking, although marred by some scratches from the incident in the woods.
I was more tanned than I realised, my face kissed more by the sun than my arms had been. That would change being here where the sun was weaker. I reach up and bring her braid over my shoulder, looking down at it between my fingers rings as a connection. I look up at my reflection, this is me. My hair is at least familiar to me. The ends were broken and a little wild-looking but the actual rope of the braid had a little shine to it and felt soft. Although the way I had slept had pulled a hunk loose and it sat oddly behind my ears. I take off the tie and begin running my fingers through my dark locks. The motion was soothing and I start to relax a little. Soon my hair is hanging in loose, thick waves. I turn to the side and see how it hangs all the way down my back and nearly over my behind.
I might be unsure of my feelings toward my appearance but I do like my hair. I can hide behind it. My mother never let me wear it down anymore, it was impractical and I wouldn't let her cut it but maybe here it would be okay.
I bring a lock of it forward and remember how I did so in the shower. My gaze drops to my chest. Her sweater is rumpled and my chest looks a little strange, an odd shape or maybe it was because I knew I'd been flatted out. I mean it wasn't so odd that it drew attention but I couldn't help but think I looked a little unbalanced. My hips were as wide as my shoulders and the sweater was thin and fitted me neatly which showed the dip of my waist. My collarbones jutted out within the V neckline. My chest just looked odd…but maybe it was just me being stupid. It was better this way. Safer.
I couldn't take the bandages off now because I couldn't be sure I would be able to get them back on if someone came looking for me.
I wonder what time it was.
I pull the sweater up a little so between it and my underwear my hipbones jut out. My nose wrinkles, how could…I didn't understand why my mother worried so much about me. Who would find all these juts appealing? There was something wrong about how they stood out and I remember how Keith had looked at me yesterday, like I was a sick person. I pull the sweater back down and leave the bathroom.
I grab her jeans and pull them back on, taking more time to try and roll the bottoms so they won't fall down. I make the bed as best I can trying not to wish or think about sleeping in it again. Wanting didn't bring you things.
I sit down, running my hand through my hair trying to decide what to do now. Do I just wait until someone comes? Would Dimitri come and get me? And then what do I do? I think about what said on the plane about how I was an employee now and that he wanted me to take care of his home. And cook.
I go over to the window and pry back the curtains. It was dark outside which meant it was their daytime and mine now, so were they already up? Were they expecting breakfast? I bite my lip trying to decide what to do. What if Mr. Dashkov expected it to be made and no one had come to tell me?
It hit me then how there was nobody to turn to anymore. Nobody to help or tell me what to do.
The anxiety begins to spread through my blood and it drives me toward the bedroom door. I could sit and wait to do something wrong or I could at least try and get it right.
I cross the hall and pause outside the door, his door. I raise my hand and hold it there. What if I woke him up? Wouldn't he be md?
I very rarely get mad.
I knock.
A minute passes in which I shift from foot to foot. I could always go down stairs and scope out the kitchen and prepare to make breakfast. I knew basic meals, I'd watched my mom make them over and over but dinner is a grey area. I hope they have cook books but then how I would I explain I could read. Maybe I could do it in secret or –
The door opens and I look up in surprise.
Dimitri is standing in grey drawstring pants and a white t-shirt that isn't pulled down all the way, showing the indentation of his hip and his tan skin. His hair is also a mess. I look away feeling like I've caught him indecent. My cheeks flame.
What the hell was wrong with me?
"Rose?" He says, his voice tainted by sleep. I peek up at him and look away again. The sudden urge to laugh takes hold.
He clears his throat and the sleep disappears from his tone. "Is something wrong? Does your arm hurt?"
I shake my head. "I just wanted to know what to do. What I should do…should I make breakfast?"
"What time is it?" he says, turning away and venturing back into his room. He goes to his bedside table and retrieves a small object I recognise as his phone. I notice that a book is also lying on his nightstand. There were also books on the floor, stacked neatly and I could spy a shelf lined with books too.
My nosiness is interrupted by his white t-shirt blocking my view as he comes back to the doorway. I pretend to examine my socks.
"I suppose we should wake the others soon or they'll oversleep. Ben should be up already."
"So I should make breakfast?" I say eagerly, happy there would be something I could do.
"Yes we should." He says moving toward the stairs.
"Isn't it what I'm supposed to do?" I ask feeling a little panicked. "You don't have to help me. I don't need help."
He looks over his shoulder. "I know. But it would be a lot easier if I showed you where everything is instead of you coming to ask me in five minutes."
"The kitchen isn't that big."
He raises an eyebrow and I'm struck by how the remark just slipped out. I'm about to apologise when he speaks.
"Well to be honest I don't like being babied." He starts down the stairs again. "I've been making my own meals for twenty years and I've been sternly warned by my grandmother another woman is not allowed to."
I follow him down trying to make sense of that. My attention is diverted by the lightness of downstairs and I look over to see the glass is no longer dark but clear. There were lights on outside and through the glass I can see a large garden.
"The glass is light sensitive. In the sun the glass turns darker but as soon as it gets darker it becomes clear again." Dimitri says, having waited for me at the bottom.
"Odd." I mumble meaning far more than the glass.
"I think it's smart. Creates the illusion of openness and means Victor can enjoy a view of the garden he and Natalie work on."
Natalie, Mr Dashkov's daughter. I follow Dimitri into the kitchen wondering about the other girl and when she'd be coming. Maybe she was already here.
Dimitri shows me around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards and displaying its contents. I'm fascinated by the large, silver storage box he calls the fridge. He opens up both its doors and then describes how you can fill a tank with water and ice that can be dispensed on the outside of the door. Beside the fridge is a one door model that looks similar and he says it's the freezer. It was crazy how they had compacted the houses food to these two units and didn't have a whole room for them.
"So, what do you think?" Dimitri asks, bringing me up short on my thoughts. Was it obvious how engrossed I was by the cooling box?
"About breakfast." He says after a moment.
Oh yeah.
Slowly I wander over to the fridge and pull it open. The door is much heavier than I thought it would be.
"What does like?" I ask quietly.
"He's not fussy. He isn't allergic to anything and doesn't stock anything he finds distasteful."
With the exception of a blonde Guardian I think.
"Eggs?" I venture.
"That will do."
The coolness of the fridge made me aware of the heat radiating off him beside me.
"Do Spiridon and Ben like eggs too?" I ask as he plucks them off the shelf.
"Spiridon will eat anything, even his own burnt concoctions when he and Ben don't order in."
"What about you?" I take four more eggs off their holder and shut the fridge.
"You don't have to worry about me."
I set the eggs down next the others on the counter, a flare of irritation in my stomach. I did have to worry or didn't the understand that? I had been given my instructions and he was making following them difficult.
"Do you like eggs?" I say, trying to mask my stupid emotions.
"Yes."
So then I could make them anyway without it being difficult. "Is this enough for three Guardians and Mr Dashkov?"
Dimitri sets the mixing bowl he'd pulled out of the cupboard down with a startling thud.
"It's more than enough Rose." He says flatly. "And call him Victor."
That was more abrupt than I'd been expecting and it squashes out any confidence I had in talking to him. I start cracking eggs into the bowl and mixing them as Dimitri heats the skillet on the stove. He also turns on the oven, showing me which dial to use which seemed obvious to me, and greases a tray before laying bacon on it.
"Would you like Orange juice or milk?" He asks as I pour the mixture into the skillet.
I peek over at him, the refusal ready to tip off my tongue but the look he gives me says that I was given two options and declining isn't one of them.
"Milk please." I mumble and pick up the wooden spoon to stir the eggs. The smell of bacon was filling up the kitchen and I begged my stomach not to growl.
"Remember you're allowed access to the kitchen at any time. You don't have to ask." He says putting the glass down beside me. "You heard yesterday that you have to increase your diet so it would make it much easier for you to be comfortable making yourself meals when you want to."
Hesitantly I lift the glass to my lips and sip my milk. I could feel him watching and I hoped it earned some approval. I give the eggs a stir and take another gulp, almost forgetting his gaze and relishing in the milk.
"I'll go and wake the others." Dimitri says. He stoops to check the bacon and then leaves.
I finish my glass. How bizarre this is, to be cooking or doing the bare minimum of cooking with a Guardian who gets irritated by my inability to accept access to things that are not mine. I wonder what my mother had to cook for the breakfasts and if she, Mary, and Meredith had to prepare for all the new Guardians.
I push the thoughts of my mother away. I couldn't deal with that yet…or ever. I touch the pendant at my throat.
"It smells so good in here." Ben says coming into the kitchen and my heart only jumps instead of threatening to stop. I tuck an escaped tendril of my hair behind my ear and hear him come closer. "Looks great, Rose."
"I smell bacon and bacon makes me excited." A voice carols loudly and there's a pounding as someone comes down the stairs. A moment later Spiridon rounds the corner and his hair that had been sticking up yesterday is lying flat, flopping into his eyes. He looks younger. "It is nearly ready?"
"Nearly." I answer quietly, giving the eggs another push around the pan.
"Here." Ben says, opening a cupboard and pulling out plates.
"Why don't you boys stop hovering over Rose and set the table." 's voice suggests and I turn to see him standing in the entry. He wasn't in a suit but in his cord trousers and light blue shirt look just as smart. "Is there any coffee?"
Spiridon and Ben file out with cutlery and other things they'd taken from the cupboards. Mr Dashkov comes to my other side and flicks on the coffee machine Dimitri had pointed out to me earlier.
"Would you like a cup dear?" I shake my head. I wasn't ready to try that stuff again. "It's so nice to have someone preparing a proper meal for us. Thank you."
My cheeks start to heat and all I can do is nod.
"Dimitri does try and make sure we eat properly but he can't be responsible for feeding boys are always alternating between take outs and I'd be lying if I said I didn't indulge with them" He chuckles to himself. "Three grown men who can only make as much as a sandwich between them, disgraceful. The exception is Thanksgiving. I make a wonderful roast and cities have actually fallen in efforts to steal my late wife's stuffing recipe. Ah Dimitri, coffee?"
"Always." Dimitri replies making me jump. He kneels down beside me to open the oven and take out the tray.
"IS IT READY YET?" Spiridon yells from the other room.
"Don't take him his plate. He hasn't let us have our first cup before becoming tedious." Mr. Dashkov says and despite his words there's warmth in his words.
I take the skillet off the hob and Mr Dashkov wordlessly moves aside so I can spoon eggs onto the plates. I just about get an even amount on all and Dimitri uses a spatula to transfer the bacon.
"We just have to wait on the toast." Dimitri says.
"I'll take in the juice and some glasses." Mr Dashkov says.
"On it." Ben declares having come in unnoticed and opening the fridge. He and balance the glasses between them and leave the kitchen.
Wordlessly Dimitri butters toasts and hands it to me to slice on the plates.
"Do you want one slice or two?" He asks and that when I realize we have five plates. Not four.
"One." I murmur. He slides bread into the toaster.
He leaves my side to retrieve a bowl and I hear him rustling around behind me.
"I want you to try and eat this too." He says coming back. I look at the bowl in his hands that had some weird brown mixture in it.
"What is it?" I say, my nose wrinkling.
"Oatmeal. You need the fibre and the nutrients. Just eat what you can."
It looked like mushed up bread.
"You can put sugar on it. A little bit."
The toast pops and he puts down the bowl to butter it and hands it to me. I set it on the plate, my plate, and slice it. Dimitri lifts two plates and I copy, following him into the large room and over to the dining table where the three men were laughing about something. Spiridon stops whatever he's saying as he catches sight of us and he smiles brilliantly. He really did get excited about food. Dimitri sets plates down in front of Mr Dashkov and Spiridon who say their thanks and I set one in front of Ben and the other where cutlery is set.
"Thanks Rose." Ben smiles and I automatically begin to smile back. Then I stop myself and scurry after Dimitri back to the kitchen.
He was putting the pan into the sink.
"I can do that." I say quickly.
"I already have."
He takes up my plate and the steaming mug poured. "Grab your oatmeal."
I look anxiously at the mess on the counter top and the greasy baking tray.
"Rose. It can wait." He says flatly.
I do as I'm told and grab the bowl of mush. I follow him back to the table and he sits down opposite Spiridon where I'd put the other plate. He sets my plate on the place beside him. I hesitate before taking the seat feeling more self-conscious than I ever have, more so than when I had the meal on the plane yesterday.
"These eggs are awesome." Spiridon says.
"Tremendous." Mr Dashkov agrees.
Dimitri lifts a glass and pours some juice. He hands it to me. "Vitamin C."
Did he know the vitamin and nutrient content of everything? I take a sip and sweetness has me gulping down half the glass.
"Pass the juice Belikov." Ben says.
"Was Keith any trouble?" Mr Dashkov asks Dimitri who shakes his head and takes a drink from his mug.
I lift my toast and nibble on it.
"Was he helpful?"
"Yes. Rose has to eat her standard three meals and an additional smaller two." At the mention of my name I stop nibbling. Spiridon and Ben were discussing something and people I didn't know and weren't paying attention.
"And her arm?"
"He gave her a salve to apply every night. Might scar a little."
"What about dental?"
"Everything fine."
"You don't know how lucky you are." Mr Dashkov says turning to me and I freeze. "Sadly every time I got to the dentist it never ends happily. Do eat up dear, before it gets cold."
I lift my fork and try my best to ignore everybody else as I spear some eggs. When I was little my mother had snuck me some off the pan but that was years ago. I take a bite and all the times I spent sat on a high stool watching my mother cook surface in my mind. Dimitri squirts sauce onto his plate and then offers it to me. I take it.
"Did you manage to get through to Natalie last night?" Dimitri asks .
"Yes I did. She's having a wonderful time, I worried at one point she may pass out because she wouldn't pause to draw breath. They've decided to stay on a little longer. The girls are quite taken with Paris. I am glad they are having fun but it does poise us with a bit of a problem…"
The saltiness mixed with a smoky taste dances over my tongue as I chew on a piece of bacon.
"Good tip." Spiridon says over the table at me making me still. His mouth is half full and yet he manages to talk around it. "Make a sandwich out of it all. Unreal."
"Do you do that at restaurants? Tell people how to eat?" Ben asks.
"I enhance their experience."
"I can imagine."
"I'm not too familiar with women's… essentials. You have sisters, are you any more in the know?" Mr Dashkov is asking Dimitri who shakes his head.
"I could run out and get basics. Shower gels, shampoo and such."
"Maybe Rose could go with you?"
Dimitri only moves his head slightly but it indicates a no. I tear off a piece of toast and pair it with some eggs. Spiridon was right, it was good. It didn't mean I liked him any better.
I finish my eggs and one slice of bacon before my stomach begins to protest. It might not want more but I did….and I still had that oatmeal stuff to eat too. I push my plate away slightly to make room for the bowl.
"Are you done with that?" Spiridon asks and I jump back in my seat. Beside him Ben is shaking his head and watching him with an exasperated expression. Dimitri and Mr. Dashkov have also stopped murmuring.
"Leave her be." Dimitri says.
"But she's done." Spiridon replies motioning to my plate. "She's abandoned her bacon."
"She's abandoned her bacon." Ben repeats, closing his eyes as if the whole thing causes him pain.
Spiridon looks at me and his grey eyes are intense. "Please, can I have your bacon?"
I nod just to stop him looking at me. He doesn't hesitate and reaches across to spear the meat with his fork.
"Pig." Ben comments and Spiridon chews the whole strip, not bothering to cut it up or even put it on his plate.
"Yes it is." He mumbles.
"My nephew has better manners than you do." Dimitri says, taking another gulp of coffee. "And he's a toddler."
Spiridon grins across the table.
Dimitri looks at me from the corner of eye. "Do you want sugar?"
I look down at my oatmeal goop. I think it needed all the help it could get… and I wanted sugar. I nod and Dimitri reaches to the centre of the table and lifts a small bowl of it I hadn't even noticed. I sprinkle half a teaspoon over it.
"Right, today's business then." says and the effect around the table is instant. They all seem to sit up straighter. The smirk falls off Spiridon's face and he becomes focused on his boss. "We need to follow up leads to The Circle, a contact in Berlin I believe. Ben how is your German?"
"Excellent." He responds evenly, the statement more fact than lack of modesty.
I scoop up portion of the goop and work up my courage. I take a bite. It was weird. Sweet. Not awful. Not amazing.
"Also we need to contact Natasha. Hopefully Christian has reached her by now. I can only imagine the aggro she is going to get. Then I must follow up with Alexander. I think he has some business at the Academy this week so hopefully we can arrange a meeting. We need more cabinet meetings organised. Then I must confirm with Ellen Kirova about the founders ball so I contact the caterers and such. Is there anything else I've forgotten?"
"Alice." Ben prompts.
"Check in with Hans on the Ozera's?" Spiridon suggests.
"Dimitri already did that last night and yes I need a session with Alice. Today if possible." Mr Dashkov says, drumming his fingers against his lips. "Well, we have enough to occupy us for now. I really hope this lead is plausible. I'm beginning to think Zmey is nothing more than a concocted figure"
The third spoonful of oatmeal is the last. I can't manage anymore or my body will start rejecting it and I really do not want to be sick.
Ben, Spiridon and Mr Dashkov stand up simultaneously startling me.
"Thank you for breakfast Rose." Mr Dashkov smiles. "Dimitri could you show her around the house, how to work everything and then come up to my office?"
"Of course."
"See you both in a little while."
Spiridon and Ben have already disappeared, leaving their plates behind and I'm glad I have my job presented to me. I drink the last of my juice, my gulp and the crunch of Dimitri's toast is the only noise.
After a moment of debating I set my bowl on the plate and stand up. I balance them as I collect Ben's and Spiridon's too.
"I could ring the head Guardian stationed at Ozera's if you wanted." Dimitri says and I stare at him across the table bewildered. "You could speak to your mother."
I swallow and try to clear my head before I dropped the plates. Why was he always throwing me off?
"No thank you."
"It's no trouble."
"It's less trouble not to." I say, sharper than I intended. "Sorry." I walk away as fast as I can without dropping everything.
I make it to the sink and when I turn he's followed carrying a good lot of what was left.
"I was going to do it." I say.
"I know but It's faster this way."
"I could manage."
"I know you could."
"Do you?" I inhaling deeply and forcing myself to hold eye contact.
He returns my look levelly. "Yes."
"I don't like being babied either."
"I can tell. I wouldn't want to give you a real reason to punch me."
Before my brain can get tangled up in the hazy memory of waking up in the car yesterday, I defend my argument. "You said I was vulnerable."
"Everybody is vulnerable to something." He responds immediately and puts the dishes on the counter. "You're naive Rose. You are bright and pay attention to everything around you but you are vulnerable. Your world was a very small, rigid place before and now it has expanded to be bigger than all of us. You will literally have access to the whole world in a few months and we need to prepare you for it."
I hadn't expected so many words or words that weighed a lot. I just stare at him and he stares back.
"What makes you vulnerable?"
He leans back as if my question had pushed him.
He inhales and then nods behind me. "I'll leave you to the dishes. I have a phone call to make and I'll leave the salve in your room."
And with that he strides out of the kitchen leaving me standing there completely astounded by everything. Maybe it was better when nobody spoke to me because it gave me no openings to be so utterly stupid. I clear the rest of the table and fill the sink up. Letting my mind shut off and give over to the rhythmic motions of my hands in hot soapy water.
Why do I never end a chapter where I want to? I think I bang on too much about describing rooms, that'll quieten down soon when events take much more focus.
Thank you for all the supportive reviews J And I left one myself with a little spoiler …not much. I've vowed not to crack and reveal spoilers.
Now let's play house.
Ps. Sorry if there's spelling errors, I'll freak out and fix them later.
Note: Updated 13/04/2022
*Narrators voice* she did not calm down with the word count