DPOV

"Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much." – John Wayne

"How is Natasha?" Victor asks.

I swallow my mouthful of coffee and calculate how much of the truth he wants. Victor finishes the sentence he's been writing in his journal and shuts it, turning to me as he pushes it aside. He wanted as much truth as I was willing to give then.

"Worried." I say, putting down my mug and lowering the transcript to my lap. "Moira was livid already but Christian leaving has made her …worse. Talking to her is impossible."

"Yes, Hans did mention it in his update." Victor frowns, rubbing his forehead. "Her and Lucas are at each other's throats and when they're not she locks herself away and drinks."

"They call Tasha to condemn her for what she has done and demand to speak to Christian, who refuses and she takes further backlash." I sigh and knead the knot at the back of my neck. "I feel like we've helped tear her family apart."

"We didn't tear anything apart. That family was frayed and slowly unravelling to the point of self-destruction. If anything we've given them a chance, we've given Natasha and that boy a chance. Lucas and Moira will have to pull themselves back from the edge. We've offered them a rope."

"She knows what she's done is right but it still hurts her. It's her family at the end of the day and half of them hate her."

"Anger and denial are the first steps. They will come around."

I regard him from across the desk. "Do you honestly believe that?"

He smiles meekly. "I hope for it. I'll do my best to steer Lucas in the right direction. Moira will be more difficult."

It was going to take a lot more than hope to convince Moira Ozera of her wrongs and even if we did I doubt that woman would show remorse. Maybe it could be counted as an act of subconscious self-preservation, who would be able to live with themselves knowing how many lives they'd ruined? How many lives have not been lives at all because of such evil greed? And it wasn't just the Ozera's, this disgusting oppression lurked in the fissures of our world. The monarchy's fall hit us like an earthquake and everyone vulnerable got snatched down into the dark crevices that split the Moroi apart.

It needed to change. I had to believe it would change.

To think of all those left behind at the Ozera's, cooped up like mistreated cattle in the barn…to think we'd left them there, it sickened me. It kept me awake at night and the only thing that kept me anchored from the whirlwind of fury I felt within my soul is the bigger picture Victor painted. It would take time to mend something so broken, just like bones and hearts need time. But I hated it. I hated it all. And looking at Rose caused such a riotous reaction within me because she embodied everything that got under my skin like glass.

Rose. She was a curious thing. She isn't broken but she is fragile and I had seen she was strong in ways I would never have imagined. Then again, scar tissue is stronger, I have more than enough knowledge about that.

"At the very least, we've done Christian some good." I agree.

I think Tasha will be okay in the long run. I knew whatever they had said to her had hurt her far more than she'd allow me to know. But despite this, she was glad to have Christian with her, where she knew he was safe and away from his parent's poison.

'I understand now, Dimka.' She told me quietly, her soft voice in my ear as I lay on my bed last night. 'What you meant by sacrificing what you have in order to save it.'

I'd call her again later. Coax her into better topics of conversation than this mess, unless she wanted to talk about it. I'd be there when she was ready.

"I would argue we've saved that boy." Victor sighs and lifts his mug.

He drinks and his computer screen flashes, an email alert from Spiridon. He doesn't hide his screen from me or minimizes the window as he replies. A part of me felt I should say something about that, his obvious trust in me. I hadn't been here long enough for him to be so at ease, it worried me a little. Not that there was any reason for Victor to warrant suspicion, I just hadn't earned it. Not by the standards I held anyway. But this doesn't stop me reading the message.

Knowledge is power and being aware of Spiridon's movements is something I I shouldn't neglect.

"Speaking of children" Victor begins as he types. Spiridon had managed to make the delivery to Ivashkov's man without messing it up. "How do you think Rose is doing? Really. The whole business sickens me."

I put the transcript aside.

"Honestly? I think she's going to be fine. She looks weak but I think we ought to give her more credit."

"To fight back like that it was either tremendously brave or stupid." He says quietly, finishing his email.

I take a sip of coffee.

"You met Rose's mother didn't you? How was she?"

I purse my lips and dissect some of my thoughts from the mass bulk I'd been turning over in my mind.

"Hard. It was a brief meeting but she was always solid, her posture, demeanour, even the way she spoke to Rose. You would say she was almost cold. I suppose you would have to be… in that position. I think Rose had absorbed some of that hardness."

"I often think she is thinking far more than she is saying." He says, surprising me.

I'd decided the very same thing and the curiosity of what was going on behind her dark eyes almost maddened me.

"She seems the most at ease around you though." He says.

I look up from my mug and I would wager the surprise had worked its way into my expression.

Victor is smiling gently. "In which I mean she doesn't…react as much. Is that insensitive? I beg your pardon if so. I just mean to say that, I worry that she's too accustomed to denying her needs she won't tell us when something is bothering her."

"I'm not entirely sure she'd tell me. She feels undeserving of things."

"We'll give it some more time…I don't want to use compulsion any more than I have to. It's hard to be sure what kind of repercussions it may have in the future. I was thinking about hiring a tutor somewhere along the line. She's past the critical stage of learning but perhaps there's still a chance of some basic spelling and such."

I weigh it up before speaking.

"I'm nearly positive she can already."

Victor's head snaps around from the screen.

"What makes you think that?"

"She mouths the words on labels in the kitchen and Keith's office there were a few literary mementoes of alchemist mottos. Her eyes moved across the passage in the way I knew she was reading and when I showed her the library her expression gave her away. She was fascinated."

That was when I had been sure I was right. The awe on her face had brightened her eyes. The books excited her or held some other importance that would not be viable if she could not read.

"Incredible." Victor breathes. "But how would she have… her mother? She said on the plane, hadn't she? Her mother has not always been on that estate."

"That's what I think."

"Incredible." He says again and rubs his chin. "So where did she come from?"

I had been wondering the same thing. There were other pieces of evidence to support Rose's mother being her teacher but I didn't feel inclined to tell Victor about the Blood Promise.

"A raid maybe or she could have been snatched." I say.

"Surely someone would have come looking for her."

"Unless it was organised."

He looks as disturbed by the thought as I am.

"It is a mystery and hopefully one day we'll have the answer to it."

"You could negotiate her mother's freedom."

Victor sighs.

"I could. Perhaps if I was a better man…but I cannot risk antagonising them any further. If they really wanted to, I know Moira and Lucas could work out a way to contact their Strigoi friends. Right now they have weakened morale and are yielding to my demands. I have Hans looking out for the other Dhampirs, they're being treated better."

"What about other ill-treatments? There's a reason Rose was able to fight through her fear today. She was angry, she knew what was happening."

Victor looks mildly at me and I realize I am in danger of having to check myself.

Control.

"I'm doing my best, Dimitri." He says. "I trust Hans. I know you find it hard to do that so let me."

"Of course. I apologise."

"Nonsense." He says, graciously brushing it off.

Much obliged I take the final sip of my coffee and realize it was my sixth today. Tasha was going to give me an earful about that later. I had been trying to cut it down but I hadn't been mindful about it today. My mind had been where it wasn't supposed to be too often lately.

I could always use the lack of cocoa powder as an excuse.

"There was something I did want to talk to you about." Victor says and the solemnness in his voice has my full attention.

He clasps his hands in front of him. What was coming made him uncomfortable. Personal relativity perhaps, Natalie was coming home tomorrow.

"I don't mean to pry but I was wondering how you are."

My mistake, was not his personal circumstance, mine.

"I worry the last couple of days has days been trying."

I'm too aware of how rigid I've become. I count to three before answering.

"I appreciate your concern Victor but there is nothing at all to be worried about."

He tilts his head.

He didn't believe me.

"Maybe worried is too strong a word. I know certainly the strength in your character but we all have weak points, Dimitri. And I do know yours."

I uncurl the fingers of my left hand that had been close to becoming a fist. Thankfully my right hand is holding my mug.

I liked Victor but I knew he made manipulative plays. Manipulation is the most effective when it could be filtered into the bloodstream like poison, ready to prey or pull on whichever emotion you knew to be weakest. But what could he gain from this? Perhaps he is showing genuine concern. His body language showed the topic made him nervous, and anticipating my reactions made him nervous which would aid the argument he was concerned.

What could he gain from my omission that these past few days have been pushing me to my limits? He already knew it had but what could be said for me admitting to it? Was he looking for honesty?

Was he just concerned for me?

The uncertainty was maddening.

If he wanted honesty he could have it. In regards to the work ethic we had honesty is needed, so I would dispel enough to assure him.

"I won't insult you by saying I haven't found it difficult. We all have. Parts have resonated with me uneasily but I have a handle on it."

He holds my gaze.

"If Ben and Spiridon hadn't pulled you off today, would you have stopped?"

"If it had been Natalie would we be having this conversation?"

He looks away.

"I'm not trying to say Rose's safety is below that of Natalie or any other person. Natalie is my daughter and if she had been harmed in the same way then I would revel in the pain inflicted on the man who had dared. I would prolong his agony until he begged to die."

Victor's quiet voice was encased in dark vindication, making every word a warning that even I felt.

He turns back to me and I realize he had been staring at the photo of his late wife by his paperweight.

"I don't disagree with your actions today. What I mean is, Natalie is my daughter and I love her more than anything else in this world, and if anyone tried to hurt her of course I would kill them. But what is Rose to you? Why did you nearly kill a man over a girl you've known all a few days?"

I am quite certain I'm losing control of my expression.

"You don't think he deserved-"

"No, Dimitri. I do. I do believe anyone with that evil disposition deserves far worse than death but what I mean is, why did you lose control like that? Why were you moved to so much anger that it blacked out your reason, you, who is so grounded and level about everything we've ever discussed in the past seven months. I would lose control because Natalie is my heart."

My expression no longer concerns me. I felt unnerved. More so because I didn't have an answer, I didn't have a clarifying reason that didn't jeopardise my limits of omission. My mind is grappling and the least I can manage is to keep my face blank.

"I'm worried that you're accepting more responsibility than you need to." He says gently. "We all are going to look out for Rose, we are going to help her and encourage her so she is able to stand on her own. In the end, it will come to that you realize, she will be standing on her own. She looks to you right now but she can't become fully dependent on you Dimitri. It isn't fair."

I take a slow, steadying breath.

"I understand what you're saying and why you're worried. My reaction was based subjectively. It shouldn't have been. I know how important it is for Rose to grow here while she has the time. I think she's fully capable of standing on her own."

Roses' mother flashes in my mind. How remote and cold she looked when her daughter needed her comfort. I think Rose had been standing alone more than Victor or I realize.

He nods and leans back in his armchair.

"I hope so and obviously I mean to support her for however long and in whatever way we can. I don't mean to just write her off as soon as possible."

"I never thought so."

He smiles gently and it hits me just how compelling he could be. How comfortable or uncomfortable you could be in his presence. His natural ability to draw you in and mould you to his will.

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Maybe.

"I should tell you." I begin, setting my mug down on its coaster. I lean back and make my shoulders relax. "I offered to teach Rose self-defence."

Victor's eyebrows rise ever so slightly. "Oh?"

"I hope that wasn't too bold. I just feel that it's something, in her case, is needed."

"I see. And what was her response?"

"She wants to learn."

Victor clasps his hands on his stomach. "I see."

He reminded me of Galina or rather how Galina made me feel under scrutiny, that there could be something to find or root out of me. Possibly something I wasn't even aware of.

"Do think she is mentally and physically ready for that?"

"Not at all, not right now anyway. I'll work more protein into her diet and wait until she's sufficiently gained more weight. As for mentality, I hope time helps her prepare for that."

Trying to teach Rose anything right now would be a train wreck…for both of us. Setting the physical aside, which would make it impossible for her to deflect me or for me to land a proper, almost authentic blow, mentally she is not ready. She wouldn't be able to follow instructions, she hadn't put enough distance between herself and Arizona yet.

"And if it doesn't?"

That struck a cold cord.

"Then I can't teach her. I'm sure Ben would be willing."

Victor stares at me for a beat and then nods. He understood. He understood more than I was comfortable with.

Relax.

"I think it's a good idea. She needs as much help as we can give her. This, after all, is a hard world to live in."

It's close to dawn before I leave Victor's suite.

I'd been on the phone to a contact in Omsk, an ex-Guardian who had understandably resigned from this duty, if not unhonourable.

I understood running away, I just didn't agree with it.

He had heard rumours of The Circle being active and sabotaging a Strigoi nest in the city's underground following a mass amount of killings that the humans were labelling a serial killer liable for. Fortunately, the police hadn't arrested anyone yet.

The problem with rumours though was self-evident. We needed to be sure, we needed proof and there was a chance that the informant was lying to us. He could be under The Circle's influence or within it.

The trip would have to come after the conference at court. We needed to get things under control here first before we left, cracking down on Lucas being a priority.

I couldn't help but feel a little guilty about it. Not because of Lucas, I would lean as hard as Victor needed me to on him, but because of Tasha. You couldn't help who your family was and consequently, you couldn't help loving them.

She'll be waiting on my call tonight, despite the hour. After the rushed and vague explanation I had given her earlier after leaving Rose she'd made me promise to call her back.

She worried too much about me.

She shouldn't.

More guilt adds to what I already felt.

"You're thinking face is dangerously close to a homicidal one."

I'd reached the next landing and turned toward Spiridon, who was poised in front of his bedroom door. He must have just gotten back and was heading to bed. That or he had heard me leave Victor's suite and headed for a refuge.

Sunlight is peeking over the clouds and stretching through the decks' windows, making me aware of how tired I am.

I stare back at him. "Homicide could be on my mind." The small bob of his throat is a small tell but it is still a tell. "But we just had the carpets cleaned."

I turn away from him.

He sighs. "Earlier you know I didn't mean-"

"I know."

"Look, Dimitri. I am sorry."

I look back over my shoulder. "I know."

His normally haughty face has an alien, sheepish expression on it.

"We've just put in so much work, I don't have to tell you that. I didn't mean to offend anyone, I didn't mean to justify Alec, I don't agree with what he did. I was too focused on what we were losing instead of seeing the bigger picture."

That was one of his biggest pitfalls, a narrow view, but I had to give him some credit. It couldn't be easy for him to be saying this to me. And because no one else was present to witness this I almost could believe he was being genuine.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not."

He visible relaxes and that impish smirk is once again back on his face. He leans his shoulder against the wall and crosses his arms.

"I thought she'd give us an advantage, know things about back there but so far she just twitches. Do you think that will stop? Decent enough cook though."

He looks at me with amused curiosity.

"You do know things like that are why most people assume you're an impatient moron."

"But you know better."

I wish I could say I didn't get paid enough for this. His smirk opens into a grin. He really does think he can bait me into these childish games but one of us isn't a child anymore.

"Goodnight Spiridon." I turn away once more. "I would be nicer to Rose. She does handle your food after all."

I pad down the hallway and the sound of his door closing follows me. I pause outside Roses', listening. She'd surely be asleep now. I hoped so. The events of today could be depriving her of some peace, peace which she more than deserved after many years of cruelty.

The bannister creeks under my fingers and I hastily let go.

I stand for a few more minutes, not entirely sure why, when fatigue presses me forward into my bedroom.

Victor is not the only person I may have to apologise to for being too bold. I hoped giving Rose my shirt would give her another dose of freedom, frankly a small one. To have more choices, even in something as small as clothing. I also hoped it would help ease her into being more accepting of things offered to her. She was reluctant to borrow from Natalie and now I had pushed that on her. I hoped she didn't push back.

Stubborn little thing.

I take off my shirt and throw it over the chair by the desk. I flop down onto the bed and pull my phone from my pocket. I hit speed dial.

It rings twice.

"Rough night?" Natasha greets, sleep heavy in her voice.

"Nothing that needs to keep us up. I can call you tomorrow."

"No, no. I've waited this long. Talk to me Dimka."

I shut my eyes and the dim room disappears.

Where to begin?

Er, so, think of this chapter as an in between chapter so TECHNICALLY I didn't lie because this isn't really a chapter…right? Damn it. Sorry guys, I just got carried away with Dimitri's POV. It became obvious to me it was another way of urging things along and giving you some insight to other goings on, big picture, as Rose is too caught up in other things.

I was supposed to attach this to Rose's chapter but it's been over a week and I feel obligated to post something so I hope your all not to disappointed.

I can't believe I still get to say this, but thank you so, so much for your kind and beautiful reviews. One in particular said about this fic being in a more mature category and THANK YOU BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. Too many fics are so kiddy and being 20 I wanted to write things I wanted to read. Blood, angst, gore, drama, sexual stuff ect. No but really, thank you guys for being so lovely.

ONE LAST THING, would anyone be interested in an 8tracks playlist if i compiled one?

Shutting up now.

x

Updated: 13/04/2022