I've heard lots of horrible noises in my life. Screams that sliced through hot summer days and made me work harder to wrench more berries from their leaves. I've dug faster to make the pain in my blistered hands louder than someone else's pleas, clenching the shovel's handle and ploughing it into the ground so the resistance ripped open the sores and let the water slick my palms. All so it would be worse, hard to ignore, so I wouldn't hear the belt or fist or shears come back on who cried out.

The worst noises were encompassed in the deafening silence when it platformed quiet footsteps. A blanket drew back, the metallic clipping of a belt and the rustle of clothes.

I push away from the door and begin a circuit around the room.

They were terrible things I'd heard but somehow listening to bursts of laughter and excited voices from down below is terrible too.

I don't why. I don't know why it made my heartache and then spit fire.

I yank out my hair tie and begin combing through the knotted strands.

Hang tight? To what? Until when?

The walls seem tauntingly bare in here. Not like Natalie's, full of life and colour. This room suddenly feels smaller, mocking, a cage.

But that's what Dimitri had said, wasn't it? My world is small. It was a tiny little speck, dust, in this huge place. This huge, enormous place with people, cars, shops, houses, schools, books, food, music, TV –

I sit down and put my palms flat on the carpet.

Not yet, I don't have to worry about all that yet. Just now, I could only deal with now. Now I could go to the library, read more and learn more. I can gain weight and Dimitri will help me defend myself. I can watch TV with Ben and try to talk, learn to communicate with people. I can force myself to engage with Spiridon and learn to push back or hold my own. Hold my own, I should not push back. Should I? I usually did.

Victor will allow me to ask questions. I will learn to be brave around him. I can ask Dimitri but that was easier, I needed to be braver.

But what about Natalie? What could I do with Natalie? Could I ask her things? Would I annoy her? She wouldn't be here a lot. What if I missed out on learning things? I would be brave I would ask. I would ask her about her room or would that be intrusive? She talked a lot maybe all I would have to do is listen.

From below someone shouts, an exclamation of words in opposite tones to what has been grazing against me for the past hour.

My nails dig into the carpet.

Nothing follows. Just quiet. No happy shouts or laughs. No bubbling of a girl's voice and a jumble of other voices. Nothing.

My heartbeat is in my ears.

I scramble off the floor.

It was something bad. I knew that. I'd been taught to read the warning signs, the shift in the air.

I could lock the door.

No, no I couldn't.

The air shifts. Voices are in it again but quieter, still urgent. Something…tense is happening.

I drag in huge lungfuls of air.

Something is happening but not to me. It didn't involve me. It didn't matter. Yet. If it was my fault or if I was needed they'd have come by now.

My back hits the bathroom door.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. What do you know? What has happened?

I know the Dragomirs are downstairs. That Natalie is home. That they are happy to be with each other. That they have been on vacation and are telling stories. Stories... It could be a bad story.

Yes. They were talking about a bad story.

My body relaxes, like spaghetti in hot water.

Get a grip.

I slide across the wall and tumble into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I could lock this one.

They are not the Ozera's. They would not punish me because I was there to punish, to take their frustrations out on me. A 'punching bag' was what my mother had offered as an explanation when I was younger and was confused by the rules, that's what we were.

I was not a punching bag here, at least not to the people who lived here. Maybe I was to the Dragomir's like I had been to Alec but Dimitri was downstairs. He wouldn't let that happen.

He promised.

I check the bolt on the door again before stripping out of Dimitri's shirt and her clothes. I tug the bandages loose and let them unravel, relishing in the freedom I hadn't felt in a few days. I would worry about getting them back on later.

The settings for the shower are nearly the same as Mistress Ozera's. Two knobs, one for heat and the other, I discovered abruptly, for water pressure.

I jump back with a yelp and then have to stick my hand back in to dial down the temperature, goosebumps rising on my arms and sending a fleet down my back.

I reopen the cupboard under the sink, rifling through the other bottles Dimitri had brought until I find a bottle labelled '2 in 1' which said it had both shampoo and conditioner inside it. Well, that was practical I suppose. It didn't smell as good as the one before.

I stand up and my reflection catches my eye, making me freeze.

My head pulls back and my reflections expression twitches.

I'd never looked before, not really. I've never had the chance. My mother was always there, she'd seen me naked but I hadn't.

It kept surprising me, my body. Being inside it for eighteen years and yet I didn't know everything about it. Especially not like this. I hadn't faced the curves that I had to flatten out and hide. They were alien to me.I raise a cautious hand and press my fingertips over my heart. It thumps nervously up against my skin. My fingers drift down, goosebumps following in their wake. I'm not repulsed, not like I expected I should be. My mother didn't like them, she resented them but again I couldn't help thinking that I didn't feel that way, didn't think that way. I didn't exactly like them either, did I?

I trace the curve of my breast.

No, I didn't hate them.

The sort of…made my body prettier. They distracted from the bumps, bruises, scars, and the frame of my hipbones, ribs, and shoulders.

My body is not a pretty place but there was something nice about the curve of my waist and the soft swelling of my chest.

Steam clouds the mirror and I turn away. I step into the hot stream of water and the sensation chases away the bad feelings inside of me about the outside.

Like before the water takes my breath away. The shower would be my second friend, it was amazing. I get lost in a trance, letting the water run over me and warm my bones before setting about the task of washing my hair.

The shampoo/conditioner didn't make my hair feel soft and silky but it was clean. That's what mattered.

I use the soap to scrub my only pair of underwear and socks. I'd put them on the radiator or under my bed where the floor gets warm.

I dry off with a huge, fluffy towel the colour of moss and pull her jeans back on.

The bandages were, as I'd heard Guardian's mutter over the years about us, a pain in the ass.

I couldn't get them as tight as Janine had. They kept loosening as I wound them and by the fifth try I was getting really annoyed. I give up trying to meld them to my body and settle for the tightest I can get. It wasn't like I could go ask someone for help. I don't think that's the type of thing Dimitri meant I could go to him for and I think, even though she was so far away, my mother would know. And she'd go ballistic.

I was being ridiculous because it's that or punch the wall.

I wipe at the mirror with the towel to see how my patchwork looked.

I wasn't completely flattened out but it didn't look too…noticeable. Dimitri's shirt would hide me well enough. It would be different if it were her sweater that was almost clingy. Dimitri's shirt protected me for now.

I pull it on and it pools down to my thighs. Despite the bindings, I feel a lot better.

I run a brush through my hair and because of the length and weight it soon becomes tiresome. I decide it will do and pull it to one side, working it into a plait.

I mop up the floor and dump the towel into the hamper before stepping back into my cooler room.

Then I remember I had nothing to do in here but wait. Wait for Ben to come to get me. If they didn't forget but surely they'd want dinner and I was needed for that.

That's all I'm needed for.

I put the wet garment down the back of the radiator and crawl onto the middle of the bed.

A shiver runs down my back. I should have towel dried my hair more.

I strain my ears to hear what's going on downstairs but I can't make anything out. That isn't particularly a bad thing. The feeling in the air is stable. There is nothing to make me worry which did make me worry. I could hear the undertone of voices but nothing else.

I flop back on the bed…well it wasn't so bad waiting up here. I spread out as the floral scent of the body wash settles over me.

I could nap. That was something I haven't gotten to do since I was little. When Janine was in the field she'd make me stay where she could see me which wasn't very fun. Bored and too warm I'd fall asleep in the shade. I remember how my mother had become so nervous. I wasn't allowed to play with Eddie without her being close. She stopped being nice to him and she told me I had to start being useful.

I remember how sometimes I'd see a figure at one of the third storey window and I'd always know they were watching me. The third storey on the east wing, overlooking the orchard, where would that be? Third storey – It was the master suite. It was their suite. The suite I'd been in. She'd been watching me, Mistress Ozera.

There's a knock on the door.

I bolt upright and wait for Ben to walk in.

There's a low murmuring and then another knock.

"C-Come in."

The door opens slowly and I wonder why they were knocking? Maybe they'd heard the shower, Ben and Dimitri would knock. So would Victor. Spiridon would just barge in. The thought made me nauseous.

My heart stops as the visitor steps into the room.

"Hi." Natalie says and if I weren't terrified I'd think she sounded shy. "Can we come in? Rose."

When was a question really a question?

I swallow and nod.

Natalie grins and it lights up her entire face. It was strange to see it in life and not frozen inside a picture. It's better.

My heart starts beating again.

She steps into the room, looking over her shoulder and that's when I remember the 'we'. A girl comes in behind her and I'm glad I'm on the bed and not standing up. It's strange enough seeing Natalie but it was even stranger to be seeing Lissa. She steps into the room behind Natalie and closes the door. She smiles kindly at me, the type of kindness that caused my soul to ache a little because it was so pure and genuine and completely baffling...because I had never earned to be smiled at like that.

They both sit down at the bay window and I watch them frozen on the bed. I should not be staring. I should be standing and asking what they needed. I should not be admiring how the light bounced off Lissa's pale blonde hair or how Natalie's eyes are so like her father's. I should not be staring.

I realise then that the silence is awkward. I'd been so busy ogling I hadn't noticed.

"We haven't been introduced properly." Lissa begins after she and Natalie exchange a glance. "I'm Vasilisa Dragomir but my friends call me Lissa."

I try to return my own name, she could call me Rose, I wanted to offer my only possession back but the noise that comes out of my throat is quiet and pathetic. Thankfully Natalie had started speaking at the same time.

"And I'm Natalie, we already met, sorta, sorry. I really didn't mean to do that or hurt you, I would never hurt anybody, ever. Well except Mia Rinaldi because she's nasty and even then I wouldn't throw anything at her except maybe shade –"

"Natalie." Lissa says gently, holding out a calming hand.

"Right. Sorry. Again."

She purses her lips, forcing words to stay inside her mouth.

Lissa smiles again but it seems forced.

"My name's Rose." I mumble.

"We know." Natalie says, the words bursting out through a grin.

"We actually came up here to…well…" Lissa's words trail off and she exchanges another look with Natalie, who nods in what I would guess is encouragement. Their apparent discomfort was making my palms itchy.

Lissa takes a deep breath and crosses her long legs. She looks back at me and this time there is a hint of determination in her gentle face.

"I hope you don't mind but Uncle Victor told us about you…about where you've come from."

"Daddy thought it would be better." Natalie adds. Her hyper voice subdued.

Why were they talking to me like I was a frightened animal? Should I be frightened?

"Yes, um, that would be easier if you had more people who could help you adjust. I think he thought it would be better to have more girls in the know too."

"I think he thought he didn't really have a choice after you busted his story." Natalie remarks, the jitteriness leaking back in.

Lissa lets out a breath of laughter and looks down.

"Daddy said that you were Dimitri's sister here visiting." Natalie says turning to me, her face starting to warm with enthusiasm. It was more natural but I was still nervous. "Because you have the same kinda colouring but Lissa, who remembers everything ever, said Dimitri never mentioned a Rose before."

"Sonja, Viktoria and Karolina." Lissa lists, inflections marking the names in Dimitri's accent.

"How do you even know that? I didn't even know he had sisters."

"I listen"

"I listen too but he hardly ever speaks. When did he tell you that?"

"He was talking to my parents at the dinner we had before leaving for Europe."

"So you eavesdropped."

"I did not-"

"Yeah, whatever." Natalie bumps shoulders with her and turns back to me. "So after that, it just became like so obvious something was going on so Daddy explained. I suppose you heard some of that?"

I shake my head.

"Oh your hairs wet, shower, duh. You couldn't have heard then."

"My parents are um, passionate about …equality." Lissa explains.

"You got passionate too…it was actually scary."

Lissa looks embarrassed. I feel bad for her and before I know it words are coming out of my mouth.

"Why were they shouting?

They both look surprised but Lissa recovers faster.

"Well not like arguing just, like I said they get passionate about …slavery." The last word she said like it was dirty and maybe it was because Natalie looks down at her lap but Lissa pushes on. "And you're so young and Uncle Victor hadn't been able to get the whole story out and they just sort of jumped to conclusions."

"So did you."

"I didn't I just…it makes me so mad." Lissa looks at the ceiling and her eyes tighten. "I didn't really think he would have done something like that."

I speak before Natalie can.

"Done what?"

Lissa brings her gaze back down. "Bought a slave."

"I'm not a slave."

It sounds strange to my ears but it is what they'd told me.

"No, we know." Natalie replies quickly. "Daddy would never do that."

"He said they saved you." Lissa says softly, her green eyes intent on me. They were a light green and when the light caught them it glanced off, like crystal.

I look down at my knotted fingers. "He's been very kind to me. They all have."

"So what happened to your eye?"

The enthusiasm in Natalie's face dims. "Lissa."

I meet Lissa's gaze and see the challenge lying under her lovely features. She was angry but she was good at hiding it. The only tell, besides her leashed question, was how her fingertips dug into the padding of the bay seat. She thought she was being lied to…but why would Victor lie?

Should I? Am I allowed to speak about Alec and what happened?

"You can tell me, Rose." Lissa says softly.

I hadn't been told not to.

"Victor had a visitor yesterday…his Guardian attacked me."

Horror dawns on Lissa's face and the brightness in Natalie's eclipses.

"Here?" Natalie exclaims. "That happened here?"

"Dimitri stopped it." I murmur.

"Who's Guardian?" Lissa demands, suddenly on her feet and her anger no longer hid. "How dare they! How dare they come into this house and hurt you? How…" She begins to pace, her hands balled into fists. Natalie glances at me. She doesn't look surprised by Lissa's sudden burst of rage but she does look wary. "It's a disgrace and if Victor knows them it means we most likely do too."

"Lissa sit down."

"Is it any wonder they are the way they are at school when they have barbarians as examples?"

"They're not all bad." Natalie tries but Lissa's pacing is picking up speed.

"Enough of them are. You know the rumours about the Ivashkov family."

"Lissa you're frightening Rose."

Lissa pauses and looks as if she'd forgotten I was there.

I wasn't frightened, not at all. I'd been rapt as she'd patrolled in front of the bed. There was something powerful about it, how she moved with such grace as her rage built. I didn't understand what exactly she was angered by but I wanted to understand desperately so I could be, I don't know, angry with her. To be a part of it.

Maybe I was just desperate to have something linking me to her, to them.

Lissa's shoulders drop and she blinks rapidly.

"Sorry, I got carried away. Sorry."

She touches her head and takes a seat beside Natalie who places a hand on her arm.

"Daddy says to change people we have to lead by example. We're gonna help, Rose."

"Yes." Lissa murmurs and then perks up. "Yes, we are."

Both girls turn to me, one golden and one dark.

"How?"

"Well…" Lissa says thoughtfully. "Uncle Victor says you can read. I can give you books. One's we'd have in school about our history and things."

"We have that in the library I think." Natalie's expression lights up. "We can show you how to use the internet."

"And teach you about pop culture."

"Basic Math…nobody wants to learn past what's necessary."

"She might like Math."

"NOBODY likes Math, Lissa."

They giggle and I can't help but smile.

"What's Math?"

"Numbers, Pythagoras theorem, algebra." Natalie says, wrinkling her nose.

"I don't like numbers."

The ghost of the headache I got trying to read the clock flits through my brain.

"I like you already." Natalie grins.

"I'm sure Uncle Victor doesn't like the numbers on your VISA bills either." Lissa says playfully and Natalie sticks out her tongue.

"I make money back on eBay."

"What's eBay?"

Natalie throws up her hands. "Oh my God, we have so much to teach you."

"EBays hardly mandatory-"

"It is when you want Versace and you're nearly at your credit limit." Natalie says seriously.

Lissa rolls her eyes.

"Oh." Natalie says turning to me. "Daddy says I have to get you some new clothes and things."

"I don't need that much." I say quickly.

"What do you have?"

I look down at myself. These weren't my clothes but the jeans at least had been left to me and her sweater.

"That shirts trying to eat you."

I tuck it over my knees. "I like it."

"Now you look like a tent... with a head."

Lissa laughs. "We'll get you some more things. You don't want to have to wear the same clothes every day."

"I have a sweater in the laundry."

Lissa's smile now pities me and Natalie looks openly appalled.

She turns to Lissa. "Jeans, shirts, dresses, skirts, products..."

"Sweatshirts, yoga pants, pajama's and underwear."

Natalie nods.

"I don't… I don't need a lot. Really. Dimitri got me things I don't need more."

"Trust me you do." Natalie says seriously, standing up and walking around the bed to the bathroom.

She disappears through the door and I want to stop her but I seem to be stuck to the bed. A loud, disgusted groan sounds from the next room.

"You're better letting her get her way." Lissa says in an undertone, waving toward the bathroom.

"Really?" Natalie demands, sticking her head around the doorway, my shampoo bottle in her hand.

"What is that?" Lissa asks amusedly.

I speak but it's lost under Natalie.

"It's Two in One." Natalie explains, like you'd explain sick on your shoe.

"Oh."

"There's nothing wrong with it." I say, suddenly feeling defensive.

"Are you kidding? Is it any wonder your hair looks so dry? Ick."

Natalie disappears back into the bathroom. More sickened noises float out as she rummages around.

I jump as Lissa sits down on the edge of the bed.

"She means well."

"There's nothing wrong with the things Dimitri got."

Lissa purses her lips.

"Well no but… there are better products."

I was starting to get really annoyed but I pushed it back. I liked these girls. I wanted them to like me. I had to live with one of them. They had the power to make things bearable.

"I don't need better when I already have something that does its job. Then it's a waste."

"Isn't it a waste to use something that isn't as effective as what something else would be?"

She didn't get it.

I was so grateful.

They didn't know what it was like for soap to be a luxury. To smell of something other than dirt, sweat, and blood.

I wanted Lissa off my bed before they thought it was worthless too.

Two loud raps make us both jump.

The bedroom door swings open and I tense. A tall, blonde boy with Lissa's eye colour and Spiridon's arrogant posture stands in the doorway.

"Uncle Victor wanted me to make sure you hadn't scared her."

"Shut up Andre." Lissa returns without hesitation. "Rose, this is Andre my brother and Andre this is –"

"The rescued orphan. I was listening Liss."

"Don't be so obnoxious!"

Andre rolls his eyes, crossing an ankle over the other and leaning against the door frame.

"Like he can help it." Natalie says, coming out of the bathroom. She sits down on my other side, tucking her legs up under her.

"I thought the idea was not to tiptoe around her?" He says.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here." It all rushes out before I can stop it and I can only compensate with a measly. "Please."

Andre smiles and it unsettles me to realize he was just as pretty as his sister when he did that. Pretty in a different way.

"Don't say 'please', it's sexier."

"Andre!"

"What did those French girls ever see in you?" Natalie mutters.

"Probably what the Italian one's saw too. Anyway, Mom and Dad want to go home and unpack."

"I thought we were staying for dinner?" Lissa says sounding genuinely upset.

Andrew shrugs, running a hand over his short curls. "They don't want to impose…over stimulating environment I think were the words."

"But Lissa needs to help me shop!"

"Are you serious? I just watched a four-week shopping spree."

"Not for us, dumbass." Natalie retorts. "For Rose."

"I don't need – "

"Rose, do not take her for a good example on female etiquette." He says, wagging his finger at Natalie.

"Oh bite me."

"You're not my type."

Lissa groans. "I am so sick of you two."

"That, we can resolve. C'mon time to go. Nice to meet you Rose, hope the other guy looks worse."

With that, he spins, leaving the door wide open so we see him disappear down the stairs. A number of voices carry up past him.

I flinch as Natalie leans across my lap, practically draping herself there.

"Do you want to ask if you can stay?"

Lissa's expression had clouded over in concern at my reaction to Natalie but now she looked thoughtful.

"I'd like to but…"

"But what?"

Lissa looks at me. "Would you mind? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Natalie cranes her head to look up at me instead of removing herself from my lap.

I'm rigid. My throat and tongue have turned to marble.

I shake my head.

Lissa looks down at her friend. "Natalie, personal space."

"What? Oh, sorry."

The girl immediately sits up and I feel like a spring ready to launch off the bed.

"See this is why you need to stay. I'm going to upset her and I won't realise."

Lissa ignores her and turns to me.

"It won't offend me if you want me to leave." She says gently.

She could see I was uncomfortable and I believed she was being genuinely gracious about it. I didn't want her leave. I liked Lissa. I liked Natalie but Natalie was too much and I was afraid of being alone with her. The idea made me feel smothered. I doubted I could lock her out or ask Dimitri to make her stop talking. I didn't want to accidentally annoy her by not knowing what to say or do. Or snap at her about shampoo.

"I don't mind." I murmur.

Lissa's answering smile is striking.

"Yes!" Natalie says and the 's' sound stretches out. She rolls off the bed. "Come on, get your good girl face on."

"I don't have a good girl face."

"It's your natural one."

I was completely lost and the look Lissa throws over her shoulder as she follows Natalie out into the hall says she wasn't completely in the know either.

"We'll be back in a moment." She says, closing the door behind her.

I flop onto my back, my mind racing and trying to process.

That was not what I had expected.

Lissa was allowed to stay.

She had come back to my room after a little while, apologizing for taking so long because she was saying goodbye to her family, and asked me to come downstairs so we could shop. Both things I didn't understand. She didn't owe me an apology and how were we going to shop downstairs?

I followed her down, feeling more self-conscious than I had in the Ozera's family room, to where Spiridon, Ben, and Victor were talking in low voices. Ben spots us on the bottom stair.

"Hi girls." He calls and Victor and Spiridon lookup.

It was an alarm in disguise, that was obvious to me but not to Lissa. She smiles and leads the way over to the only vacant couch. I stay close but not too close.

"Ditched Natalie already?" Spiridon asks, reclining and throwing his arms across the back of the sofa.

"She's getting her laptop." Lissa answers back smoothly. Her voice was a contrast to my expression I'm sure. I try to compose it.

Spiridon points between us. "You two look like trouble."

Ben and Victor look incredulous and I glance at Lissa to see her raising a blonde eyebrow. I look down at my knees.

"How so?" Victor asks.

"They look too…innocent."

"Of course they do." Victor replies, reaching for a steaming mug on the table. "They're good girls."

Spiridon hums, a noise that says he disagrees but has nothing worth saying. If he only he made noises instead of speaking a lot of the time.

"Here comes real trouble." Ben says as feet patter down the stairs.

Victor chuckles.

I jump as Natalie plops heavily down beside me, putting me between her and Lissa. Lissa slides closer as Natalie opens up her computer.

"Where do you think we should start?" Natalie asks excitedly, her fingers moving across the keyboard in a way that could rival Ben.

"Lissa I beg you. Please exert some control over her." Victor says, a desperate look on his face.

"I'll do my best." Lissa grins.

"So what are thinking Nat?" Spiridon asks, leaning forward. "Some Gucci? Channel? Valentino."

Natalie makes a begrudging noise as Victor shakes his head.

"Daddy said I had to be 'sensible' because Rose's sizes are going to change but I don't see why we can't order things in preparation for that. I mean she has to be like, a zero right now, and I've never seen a Dhampir be more than a six. Oh and you cannot beat Louis Vuitton loungers."

"Do you remember our talk about overspending?" Lissa asks quietly across my lap.

"I really can't tell the difference between Designer and Forever 21." Ben says. "Don't they copy the expensive stuff anyway?"

"Of course, you don't." Natalie retorts, not looking up from the screen. She's opened up a couple of different boxes. "You're a Guardian."

"Meaning?" Spiridon asks.

Natalie fixes her gaze on him. "You wear anything that's black and practical."

"You say that like it's a bad thing my darling." Victor says, his lips quirked behind his mug.

"Because they think scratchy wool falls into being practical."

"Says the girl who will pay sixty dollars for a shirt that cost about three to make."

Natalie's cheeks flush and her nostrils flare.

Where was Dimitri?

"Maybe we should start with American Apparel? And you can get some really cute stuff from Forever 21, like your jean skirt with the lace up the side." Lissa says in a voice sensitive to Natalie's feelings. "We should just get comfortable for now."

"Whatever." Natalie mutters, opening up another screen.

"I don't need a lot. I don't really don't need anything." I say quietly.

It was true and this situation was making them irritable. I didn't want to be in trouble and I didn't want them to spend a lot of money. I knew enough to know money is important.

"You need a shirt that fits." Spiridon says drily. "Where did you get that anyway?"

"And shoes." Ben adds.

"Socks." Victor chips in, taking a sip of coffee. "I realize it will be hard for you to do but please just stick with practical Natalie because judging from the two extra cases you have brought home I'm probably going to have to sell your car."

Natalie fixes her father with a sweet smile. "I didn't go over the limit. I promise."

"And you'll be needing more closet space." Lissa says like someone maneuvering unsteady ground. "So whatever you clear out you could give to Rose?"

"Whatever." Natalie repeats in a singsong voice. "I can't think with low blood sugar so we're ordering pizza."

I feel like I've been hit over the head with a rock.

"I can make dinner." I move to stand up but both Natalie and Lissa push me back into the seat, ignoring my squeak.

"Just relax, Rose." Victor says mildly as he stands. "It's easier for everyone when they get their way."

He walks away, to the safe retreat of his study I guessed. Lucky for some.

"See that mentality is what's going to make them trouble." Spiridon remarks to Ben.

"Only if we get caught." Is Lissa's soft response.

After bartering things like 'Meat feast', 'Pepperoni Passion', and 'Veggie Supreme' between each other Natalie declared that food was on its way.

I couldn't imagine how food was coming from somewhere else? Where? A big kitchen somewhere that took orders and then drove them to you in a car? And what the hell was pizza?

"You are in for a good time." Ben winked at me before retreating down the basement stairs.

"What's he working on in his lab now?" Lissa asked Spiridon, who was eating a sandwich even though dinner was somehow coming.

"A gun that flashes UV light and fires magic-infused bullets." He explains through his full cheeks. "Ben's nifty-gifties workshop has been busy."

"How is he testing those?" Lissa asks, leaning forward.

"Rose, do you like these?"

I look at the screen in Natalie's lap. There was a pair of dark jeans on display.

"Um."

"Maybe too dark will make you look twiggy." She glances at my thighs. "Mmm."

"Well Earth he can get a supply of if he asks nicely. He did have a source for fire for a while but it didn't stick. It couldn't take to the metal, it just heated and then cooled but earth sticks. A bit like the stakes but it has an expiry."

"Do they work?" Lissa asks, her voice lowered with curiosity.

"They cause discomfort but aren't fatal."

"Is that what he's trying to do?"

There's a pause in which Spiridon stops being a pig to fix Lissa with a look that made me want to step in front of her. Even though all I would do is hunch my shoulders.

"Don't burden yourself with it little Dragomir." He finally says. He gets up with his empty plate and walks away.

"I forgot what he's like." Lissa mutters, leaning back. Her shoulder is touching mine.

"Oh sure, he's annoying but you can handle Andre." Natalie says.

"I'm immune to Andre. No not skinny Natalie, try bootleg. But don't you think if there are guns being developed we should, maybe, learn how to…use one?"

Natalie laughs. "Are you serious? Us with guns?"

"You're right, dumb idea." Lissa says, her voice laughing it off but her face didn't look like it agreed.

She catches my looking and I turn back to the screen. She leans in closer and makes a comment about colour so they start to argue over jeans for a while before deciding on two. I had very little input. They move onto shirts and scroll through a few pages, clicking on some to 'add to cart'.

"That's pretty."

"What is?" Lissa asks, making me aware I'd spoken aloud.

She and Natalie are staring at me.

I start shaking my head and stammering.

"These are your things, you get a say." Lissa encourages.

"Unless it's that mustard one then no you don't."

I play with the hem of Dimitri's shirt. "The purple."

"The silk blouse?" Natalie says and clicks on it.

"That colour is gorgeous and it would go so well with your skin tone." Lissa says.

"It might look too drapey on her frame." Natalie says, her eyebrows knitting.

"But Rose likes it." Lissa says like this is significant.

"Then she has to get a highwaisted skirt."

"If you say so oh fashion guru. I'm going to get a drink, do you two want anything?" Lissa stands and I scramble to the edge of the seat.

"I can get you-"

"You're not going to wait on me." Lissa says clearly but not unkind. "I'm getting juice. Do you want some why I'm there?"

I lick my bottom lip.

"Soda, please." I murmur.

Lissa smiles and walks away.

"MAKE THAT TWO." I jump but Natalie doesn't look away from her screen. "Do you like this skirt? It's simple and will make that blouse stand out. The black means it will go with loadsa things. I'll get you're a small because it's going to be on your waist and not your hips. You could wear it to my party."

"Party?"

"My back to school party. I heard Mia was going to throw one so I made sure to make my event first and made sure Aaron and Ralf got their friends to RSVP ASAP. Also, I made Lissa make Andre agree to go so it was a sure thing and he can bring some of his friends."

"Oh."

Natalie glances at me and the confusion must be all over my face.

"Sorry." She says, shaking her head and smiling. "Aaron is Lissa's boyfriend and Ralf is mine."

There's a strange, dreamlike look on her face.

"Who is?" Lissa asks, plopping back down and handing over the cans of soda.

"Our one and onlys."

"Ah."

Lissa flicks her can open and takes a drink. There were no daydreams in her eyes.

"Have you spoken to Aaron yet?" Natalie asks. "Rose, what about these pj's?"

"Um."

"Cute right? I'll get them in Medium."

"I spoke to him yesterday."

"Yeah but your back today."

"He knows that."

The topic which made Natalie look….fuzzy seemed to have the opposite effect on Lissa.

"Is he still in Kazakhstan? I can't believe they still went there after everything."

"Yes, they get back on Thursday. It isn't too far east and they have family there."

Natalie makes a humming noise.

"What about shoes?" Lissa says abruptly. "What size are you Rose?"

"I don't know."

"Tennis and ankle boots should be pragmatic." Natalie says, nodding to herself.

"You don't know?" Lissa repeats and then slides off the couch to floor. She takes my foot into her hands, ignoring my twitch, and holds it up to look at the sole. "Nine."

Natalie frowns and looks down. "Really?"

Lissa prods the tip. "Your toes don't touch the top."

"Take your shoe off." Natalie says.

I shake my head.

"I think you're an eight." Lissa says. "Yup, order eights."

"And socks. Ooooh we can move onto underwear after."

There's a beep and we all look over the back of the couch, Lissa popping up onto her knees, as Dimitri comes through the front door.

Lissa climbs back onto the couch, tucking her legs up under her.

"Evening Belikov." Natalie greets in a mocking deep voice.

"Natalie." He responds in his quiet one. "Your parents are home safe and sound Lissa. I'll take you home when you want to leave."

"Thank you." Lissa says sincerely.

"We ordered pizza." Natalie says, turning back to her screen.

"Will it compare to authentic Italian do you think?" Dimitri asks, coming toward the living room.

The girls answer at the same time.

"No."

"Yes."

"You can't beat Domino's." Natalie says proudly. "Rose, aren't these cute?"

I look at the tan boots with their slightly pointed toes, small platform at the heel, and the buckle at the ankle.

Natalie's looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah." I say not sure I mean it. Natalie beams and adds them to the growing list.

"Florence is beautiful isn't it?" Dimitri says, sitting down on the other couch.

Lissa answers enthusiastically and they start discussing beautiful places, museums, and things I forget how to say as soon as they say them.

"Huge cultural buffs." Natalie murmurs into my ear. She doesn't notice I've tensed. "So borrring."

I wish I knew what they were talking about so I could at least agree with her. Instead, an ugly feeling was rearing up inside me as Lissa and Dimitri's conversation flowed with ease, weaving in and out and spiking with short laughs or small smiles. Those were from Lissa, the most Dimitri managed was a mild expression of intent.

Lissa catches my eye and smiles wider.

It makes me catch myself. I was being silly and ungrateful.

I smile back.

I notice Dimitri watching and turn my attention to Natalie's laptop. She was looking at underwear.

"My favourite kind of shopping." Natalie says, flashing me a devious look.

"Why?"

She glances up at Dimitri who was engrossed with Lissa again. She did have tact then, thank god.

"Well, they're so pretty. You can have silk and lace and there are so many different styles and it's also like, wearing a secret weapon."

"A secret weapon?"

"When I'm having a bad day or something I'll put on my nicest set to feel better. It's like having a secret weapon under your clothes, no one else knows how damn hot you look but you do and you feel tons better. Also, it makes Ralf go crazy."

"Why?"

Natalie glances at me and something in her face flickers.

"He just thinks I look nice."

She turns back to the laptop and a new page loads. My heart flatlines as images of bras fill the screen.

"You're a what? 32 B, AA?" She says quietly and then looks directly at my chest.

I stand up abruptly, making her jump in surprise. That made a change.

"Rose?" Dimitri asks.

"Doyouwantcoffee?" I say in one breath.

"No." He responds immediately, his dark eyes fixed on me.

"Maybe Victor does."

That's what I was supposed to have said but it came out jumbled and I'm not sure they understood but I was already scrambling around the couch to get to the kitchen.

My cheeks are hot.

My hands are shaking.

"Rose."

I yank the fridge door open. The cool air was refreshing and I take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?"

I grab a bottle of water and shut the door, locking my expression into place and make myself look up at him.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me." He responds quietly. His arms are folded and his hard gaze is stronger than my resolve.

Don't lie, don't disobey.

"Please." He adds.

How could I tell him? How could I explain when I was wearing his shirt which hid the reason and he's watching me, waiting. It's too much. I don't know what to say. I cannot lie but I can't tell the truth.

I spin and reopen the fridge, snatching the milk out and moving over to the counter. I flip the machine on and take out a clean mug. There are dishes in the sink I needed to do. I run the faucet for hot water.

"If you tell me what's bothering you then we can deal with it."

"I can't."

I sense him come to stand beside me, feel the warmth radiating off his body. "You can Rose but you can choose to not want to. That's different."

I watch the bubbles grow and become frothy in the sink. I take a deep breath and exhale. The bandages restrict.

I turn quickly and say it before he can convince me otherwise.

"I don't want to talk about it. Not with you."

His face remains impassive, calm. There are no quirks, no reaction, nothing in his level gaze. He doesn't react like I will always fear that he will. He doesn't react at all.

That's when it dawns on me that this is a reaction itself.

The coffee machine beeps.

"Okay." He says quietly and walks away.

Lissa appears in the entry at the same time he's leaving. Her lovely, gracious smile only dimming slightly as she examines his expression, it's only a moment and then they've eclipsed each other.

I busy myself with the hot drink.

"Anything I can help with?" She asks brightly. Too bright, too forced.

She's just being nice. It could be worse.

I shake my head.

It's quiet for a few moments in which wobbly thoughts encroach in my head. Natalie, my mother, Dimitri, bandages...

I reach up to reassure myself they're in place, disguising the reassuring brush as an itch.

"What Natalie was looking at." Lissa begins delicately. She had a nice voice. All inflections that should be sharp were rounded or smoother. It was very different from Dimitri's. "We'll forget about them for now if that's what you want?"

I stare at the shine bouncing on the silver teaspoon as I stir. This was the closest I could get to explaining, a way of getting away from it and keeping my secrets and I decide, right there, that I like Lissa.

I nod.

"Okay. Good." She says and I drop the spoon into the sink. "I can take this up to Uncle Victor. I need to talk to him about something anyway. Is that alright?"

I nod again.

I tense as her light fingers touch my shoulder as she picks up the mug. She walks away and I stick my hands into the hot water, my cold fingers smarting in protest. It helps clear my head from the tumbling.

There were not four elements of magic. There were five and the fifth was pizza. I should have known by the smell, it should have been the obvious sign.

As Natalie handed over the money to an awkward, tall boy who needed to wash his hair and start blinking instead of ogling Natalie, the smell coming from three large boxes hit me like …well like the strigoi woman. My mind became lazy and I became the one staring at Natalie prancing into the living room.

Their voices were white noise. There were only the boxes and the smell. And then Spiridon opened the first box and sound came rushing back as salvia flooded my mouth. The other two boxes opened and hands were reaching in for slices. Slices that cheese overflowed from and hung down like golden string, with pepperoni, vegetables and delicious meaty pieces cushioned on top. Hot dough, melted cheese, tomatoes and meat were swirling around my head. It was like being inside one of my dreams but those didn't end well.

Light, warm fingers touch cover mine and I look at Lissa dazedly. It takes me a moment to realize what she's said.

"What do you want?"

I wanted to wake up. Needed to. I stare at her waiting for the illusion to fracture. She squeezes my hand. She lifts the last small plate and takes a slice from each pizza. She holds it out to me. "There, variety."

It was usually at this point that everything warped, when it became close enough to touch but my hands take the warm plate and the room doesn't change.

I lift the slice that must be 'meat feast'. It's surprisingly heavy and floppy.

"You need the dip!" Natalie shouts from the other couch. Beside her, Victor winces.

She tosses a little tub to us which myself and Lissa had not been expecting but thankfully it's snatched from the air before connecting with my face.

"Here."

Dimitri holds it poised between his fingertips.

I try to soften my lips, to make them work again. I purse them and then speak.

"Thank you."

I reach out and take it, accidentally grazing his hand. Something buzzes and tugs inside me, making me jerk the pot from his grasp. It was like an electric shock and it seemed to be one-sided because he turns his attention back to the others.

It was because I was cold and he was always warm, it had to be the reaction to the different temperature.

"I'm dying here." Lissa says, dragging my focus back to important things. Like the pizza. "I want to see your reaction."

A week ago having a Moroi watching me eat would have me breaking down but right now, it only caused trembles. It could be because it was Lissa. Her lovely face didn't bear one hint of malice and I couldn't imagine evil pooling her green eyes like I'd seen it in blue. That was naive I realized but I couldn't help it. Another explanation could be that the Pizza was completely overwhelming my senses and the added smell of the garlic dip was amazing.

I take a bite, my teeth sinking into it like it's butter only it was cheese and tomato and ham and chicken and something spice, and it probably the most beautiful moment of my life.

Slowly I open my eyes and Lissa's smile is triumphant.

"That was very satisfying." She says, taking a comically large bite out of her own slice.

Chuckles break into my reverie. Lissa was not the only one who seemed amused by my first experience with the fifth element. I manage to flash a grin but its short lived. I needed my mouth for other things, like eating.

"Please make sure I'm always around for Rose to experience things." Ben says, one side of his cheek bulging. Both of mine were. I'd bitten off as much as I could.

"We could make a bucket list." Natalie proposes.

"That's a wonderful idea." Victor says.

He was the only one using cutlery. Natalie told me to put all but one set away because there was only one way to eat pizza properly. "Daddy just has to always do things his way." She'd told me.

"Bungee jumping, once you've put on weight that will qualify to make you spring back up." Spiridon says, from where he's slouched in the armchair.

"A well thought out contribution as always." Ben responds, reaching for another…three slices.

I didn't care if Spiridon was being funny at my expense. I was comfortable, sitting beside Lissa and Dimitri with a plate of food on my lap. I was struck again by how incredibly lucky I was and tried not to think about how unlucky others were.

There's a quiet buzz, something like I'd had when I'd touched Dimitri's hand. In a synchronized fashion he, Ben, and Spiridon all react, all pulling out their phones.

The air shifts.

"Shit." Spiridon breathes.

Ben looks up at Dimitri.

"What is it?" Victor asks calmly, putting one hand on Natalie's shoulder.

Dimitri inhales and his jaw is rigid. Involuntarily I lean into Lissa or was she leaning toward me?

"There's been another raid." He says, his voice as quiet and as grim as a fresh grave.

Your patience is outstanding and your support is truly amazing. Thanks for sticking around through the spelling errors and muddled syntax!

I'm going to really try uploading small chapters so they're more frequent, like 4,000 words. If you want more direct answers about updates feel free to tweet me And I'm working on an 8tracks for Temper me Rose, there's a general one up already under voldobaby if anyone is interested.

xox