RPOV

I've just about read the last word when the box zips down to the bottom corner and sits in a blinking box.

"What the hell is a 'Zmey'?" Lissa says. She starts forward between the gap of the front seats and I yank her back. "Rose –"

The driver's door opens and Lissa jumps.

"Those women are rockets." Ben says as he throws himself into his seat. "They've been drinking for two days. College reunion or something."

Lissa and I wear matching plastic smiles. Ben's making a joke about 'Vin Disealing' away or something when he notices the little box. I expect him to tap it so it opens again and we'd have another chance to read it, an excuse to maybe ask about it. I know Lissa is thinking the same thing. Ben does tap the screen but the box disappears and the phone he's pulled from his pocket vibrates.

Lissa's shoulders drop and I sink back against the seat. He's sent the message to his phone.

"Seatbelts on." Ben orders, changing the air inside the car immediately.

I scramble to get mine as Lissa asks if everything's okay. She sounded far too sweet but I don't really have time to think about it because I have to stop my face from being plastered against the passenger seat as the car flies backwards.

"We've spent too long out here." Ben replies as we exit the car lot.

I just about manage to keep my shake from exploding all over my legs.

We zip through the streets in silence, some signs and places looking familiar. It doesn't really interest me as much as before, not when the chocolate ice cream is in what seems like a never-ending supply. My stomach is protesting but I don't care.

"What's The Circle?" Lissa asks suddenly.

I stop sucking on my straw and the chocolate shake sticks in my throat. Ben's eyes flash in the mirror but between the passing lights and the darkness inside the car, I may have imagined it.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about."

I almost hear the wind whistle through Lissa's flared nostrils but her voice is steady. "The nest in Estonia, was it the one responsible for the raid?" Ben's knuckles tighten on the wheel. I take a nervous sip of my drink. "It was wasn't it?"

"My private emails are not your concern."

"Strigoi nests are my concern. They're everybody's concern." Lissa argues.

"Not when they reside thousands of miles away." Ben's voice is cold and empty, nothing like him at all.

"We didn't mean to read it. It just came up on the screen." My voice is too small and pathetic in her defence.

"And what is 'zmey'?" Lissa adds.

"That's enough." Ben snaps and even Lissa leans back. Her lips press together in a hard line and I hope she keeps them that way, sealed. You don't push Guardians. Ben sighs heavily and then says in a calmer voice. "Don't ask me questions you know I can't answer."

"We deserve to know." Lissa says under her breath.

"I don't dispute that." Ben replies a minute later.

The rest of the way home is quiet except for the radio, which Ben turns up to try and stifle the tense silence. I finish my shake by the time we hit the long stretch of road. Lissa is typing away on her phone. I pick mine up just to have something to do. Natalie explained that was one use of a phone, to pretend you had something to do in awkward situations. This qualified as awkward I think but I'm more than surprised when there's an alert on the screen telling me I had messages.

Only Lissa or Natalie ever messaged me and considering Lissa is right beside me it had to be Nat.

'U ok? Xoxo'

'Is Lissa with u? xoxo'

'Comin bk soon xoxo'

'U R NOT HERE.'

I'm about to type out a reply when the phone vibrates with a new message.

'Pls get mini cheese crackers xoxo'

I laugh and it sounds odd inside the car, rude almost. Ben looks up at the mirror and away again. The car veers off the long road and into the woods.

"Did you get the cracker text too?" Lissa asks quietly, the lights lining the private road darting in and out of the backseat. I nod and she rolls her eyes in good humour.

The house comes into full view and Ben parks the car. We all unbuckle our belts and he turns in his seat. "Don't mention what you read, okay? It will just serve to get us all in trouble." Lissa returns his question with a steady gaze and I pray she doesn't start arguing. Ben must sense the same danger because he gently adds, "Please."

"Fine." Lissa sighs and gets out.

Ben looks at me.

"I won't say anything."

He shouldn't have shown it but he looks relieved. I get out of the car feeling sorry for Ben because it's becoming more and more obvious that he was the weakest link out of the three men. That or he is extremely unlucky. I hope Lissa keeps her word.

I take a bag from the back and we make our way to the house, the door is already open as Lissa had gone ahead. I look up at the lightening sky, the stars fading into sleep, wondering how long it will be before I'm out in the open again. The ceiling of the porch pushes into my vision and I climb the steps into the house.

The warmth is welcoming. Immediately my eyes travel the foyer into the living room and find Dimitri. His gaze had already been waiting for mine and his shoulders drops a fraction of an inch.

The door closes behind me with a beep breaking the reunion and then Lissa appears in the kitchen entry cradling a large bottle of soda under her arm and holding two glasses.

"I'll grab that one." She says, not looking at Ben as she reaches for the bag.

"Did you clear out the candy section?" Dimitri asks, but he's looking over our heads at Ben with hardness in his eyes.

"I'm easing Rose into it, we will next time." Lissa replies, balancing the items in her arms and nodding toward the stairs.

"Gimme that." Ben murmurs, taking the empty cup from my hands.

"Next time then." Dimitri says. "Ben, can you come down to the garage? Natalie's upstairs."

"Yeah, we know." Lissa throws over her shoulder as she starts up the staircase. "C'mon Rose."

I hesitate then with a murmur of thanks to Ben I follow her up to my bedroom. Natalie is sitting on my bed, gold dress pooled around her with a look of concentration on her face. I spot the black remote in her hands and then a loud, unfamiliar voice erupts behind the door making me jump and Natalie grin.

"It's about time you guys got back! Look what Spiridon set up." She flings out her arm to the source of the noise and I peer around the door.

"Spiridon put a TV on my wall?" Who had made him do that?

"Uh-huh. Hooked up Netflix and everything, well, he started to but he got a message that put everyone's panties in a twist."

I kick the door shut with my foot and set my grocery bag down on the bed where Lissa is unloading all the sugary treasures from her bag. She glances at me as she asks, "What was the message about?"

"As if they'd tell me." Natalie replies uninterested until she notices Lissa's activity and then she perks up. "Ooooh you got all the goodies!"

"You should go change into your PJs and then we can veg out and marathon a show." Lissa suggests although it sounds more like an order. She's still really annoyed at Ben and it makes me uneasy.

I help Natalie off the bed so she doesn't rip any folds of gold and she sweeps out of the room. Lissa is unnecessarily organising the treats on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly.

She begins to say fine but stops and takes a deep breath.

I try not to think about my favourite thing in the world, my bed is entertaining potentially all my other favourite things in the world.

"No. I hate that they lie to us under the pretence that it's about keeping us safe or ignorance is bliss or that we wouldn't understand. Things are happening out there, big things, and they won't tell us what they are. I just have the feeling that we're all going to be ignorant until something goes really wrong and we won't be prepared or ready."

I weigh that up. "But that's not Ben's fault."

Lissa looks down at the Oreos. "Yeah I know it's not his fault."

"He has orders."

"The last time things went really wrong was because people were following someone else's orders." She huffs. "We should know everything…we should, I don't know, be prepared or something."

It's silent for a few moments and I pick through the number of things I want to ask.

"Are you going to tell Natalie about the message?"

"She wouldn't care or she'd ask Victor about it in an around about way thinking it was subtle." She smiles a little imagining Natalie trying to pry out some secret information. "I googled Zmey in the car, all that came up was diety stuff which didn't make sense."

I sit down beside her, pulling my cuffs down over my knuckles and ignoring that familiar nip at my ribs. "Is it…is it really important to know? Sometimes we're safer not to know the truth about everything and I think Victor…and your parents would do anything to protect you and Natalie. They aren't going to tell you things that might only scare you and make what could be easy days become ones where you're worrying about things beyond your control. I don't think you should worry so much about not knowing because one day, you might know everything like them and have to bear it all."

Lissa considers this. "That makes sense…"

I cross my legs tightly. What I'd just described had been my life until coming here. Living under a cloud of fear of things I didn't understand and was afraid to. Then my mother explained, let the cloud pour down over me so I was constantly sodden. Fear clung to me, became a part of my anatomy so whenever a Guardians eyes lingered too long, whenever I woke up without restrictions on my chest, saw my mothers roll empty or heard the shuffle of the Masters' shoes on the barn floor that part of me would start to sing.

The past few days that part of me hadn't been singing but wailing.

"You're better not knowing things until absolutely necessary. When you know the truth about everything there's no hiding from it."

Now Lissa looks troubled, her green eyes trying to see through my skin.

"Time to hash it all out!" Natalie declares, bursting back into the room and throwing the door closed. She bounds forward and throws herself over the bottom rail and lands on the bed, causing the candy to bounce upwards. "You first. Where and when and why did you leave?"

Lissa scoots further into the bed and I tuck my legs up. I try not to eye up the birthday cake Oreos too much but my palms are itchy and I have to thread them together.

"I got a migraine." Lissa says, the lie leaving her lips easily. I go back to staring at the Oreo, the chips, twizzles, cookies, Ben's marshmallows. "And listening to Camille talk about Cannes constantly wasn't helping. Sorry to bail."

Natalie doesn't miss a beat. "I thought it was because you and Aaron argued."

Now I can't help but look between them. Natalie looks smug and then Lissa looks back completely surprised.

Lissa sighs. "Who told you? Is everyone talking about it?"

Natalie crosses her legs, her PJ bottoms are overrun by pink bunnies in a yellow world. "Aaron had a bit too much to drink. Jesse's special mix." She rolls her eyes and reaches for some candy. Could we eat now? My stomach still feels close to splitting and I could feel where it had ballooned out, making the bandages even tighter. "He was talking to Mason and…Mia of all people when I found out you were gone. Can you believe she crashed? I knew she would. The desperate little hoe-"

"Aaron was talking to Mia about me?" Lissa demands.

Natalie tears a packet open with her teeth, her vangs making her look like an animal. "Mason was trying to get him to drink water on the patio and reason with him. From what I heard it was just him drunkenly going on about how much he loves you and you'll never understand how much."

I sense Lissa's guilt even though it's not on her face. "So what was Mia doing there?"

Natalie's nose wrinkles above the lollypop stick in her mouth. She pulls it out with a pop. "What she normally does? Sticks to boys like a postet when they're slightly vulnerable. She was just cooing and giving the whole 'your such a nice guy if she doesn't realise that blah blah blah.' I told her to go crawl back into Tyler's bed. Mason got Aaron into a car and sent him back to the villas." She reaches for the Oreo packet and my heart sinks. With a flick of her wrist, she tosses it to me. "Don't be shy, Rose. So is that what happened? He said he loved you and you left him in no man's land?"

Lissa reaches for the pastry packet. "It's not a war. I just…I'm not sure anymore."

"Yeah, that's not a war. You just shot him in the head." Lissa's face slackens and she looks dead-eyed at her friend. "Heart rather."

"Gee thanks Nat."

"Well, you know how sensitive he is."

"Yeah, I know." Lissa mutters and then sinks her teeth into the pastry.

"That wasn't even the height of the drama B.T.W." Natalie says around her lolly, looking between me and Lissa. "Mia I expected to crash with her little posse because one, She's a social-climbing loser and two, she'd hate having to hear all about how great it was rather than how much she'd hate being there." She rants as I tear open the Oreo packet.

I'm trying to picture this girl that they disliked so much and piece together why they felt that way so then I could avoid ever doing the same. My teeth sink into the large cookie and bliss erupts in my mouth. Thankfully this time I don't moan.

"If you stopped caring so much about her you'd probably add years onto your life." Lissa recommends.

Natalie jabs her lollypop in Lissa's direction. "Uh, have you forgotten the puddle incident, the snow incident, the rumours about us? She's like a snake I have to stomp on until it dies and not to mention that three hours ago she was vulturing around your boyfriend. If Mason wasn't there she probably would have black widowed him."

"I don't think you realise what you're saying half the time." Lissa muses.

"I don't understand." I add.

"Black widows have sex with their men then kill them." Natalie explains to me.

I turn to Lissa. "She wants to kill your boyfriend? Aaron?"

"No. She wants to kill Natalie." Lissa replies.

"Why?"

"Because I'm fabulous and have everything she doesn't. Plus she looks thirteen."

"You'll want to kill her for looking younger in twenty years."

"God forbid she's still in my social sphere in twenty years."

"Her family do live at Court."

"So she says."

"Whatever. What was the scandalizing drama then? What topped my relationship bust-up and potential love triangle?"

I'm polishing the crumbs off my fingers when Natalie dramatically whispers to Lissa. "Christian Ozera."

I bite down on my finger and wince. My reaction is lost under Lissa's exclamation of, "WHAT?"

My blood stops flowing in my veins and my heart is a dull thud in my ears. I have the strangest urge to run across the hall and through the neighbouring door.

"Why the hell was he crashing? Seriously? Who with? Oh my god, were his parents there?"

Natalie is shaking her head but grinning smugly, clearly enjoying Lissa's reaction. "No. He turned up with his aunt but like, he was hanging out with the guys within ten minutes like they'd known each other for ages."

"Boys are like that though." Lissa says and fixes Natalie a look. "Non-judgemental or suspicious of each other."

"What are you saying?" Natalie says innocently, the lollipop poised between her teeth.

"I just described the race of high school girls is all." Lissa shrugs, reaching for a Hershey bar. I am still frozen and even the dipping movement of the bed doesn't jostle me.

Young master Ozera. Young master Ozera. Christian Ozera. Christian Ozera was at Lissa's house. He was close. He was so close. There were no longer thousands of miles between me and the past, no stretch of space that let me believe the place was gone. The nightmare was following me.

What if he came here?

"Rose, you look like you're gonna hurl." Natalie says looking wary.

I swallow. "I do feel a bit...sick."

"Take a breather." She replies and takes the candy bar I'd selected from my numb fingers. "Do you want some water?"

"Maybe you should lie down." Lissa says worriedly. "It might have been too much too soon."

"No." I whisper and painfully push a smile onto my face. "I'm okay."

Lissa's doesn't look convinced but her gaze pulls away to Natalie. "So what were they doing there? He's always late to join the school year and like…hates everyone. Did he try to set the place alight? Remember what he did at prom?"

A dark look comes over Natalie's face. "Yeah, how could I not? I spent hours arranging those damn balloons to make them look like they were trickling down over the hall. Kirova thought someone was shooting up the place!"

Lissa shakes her head in revulsion. "He's anti-everything. So what was he doing there?"

"Well, Mason told me that Christian told Jesse that he was living with his aunt now because his parents are going to Court. Which, like, I don't think I've ever seen them before. I heard daddy say once that they're peculiar and super entitled. Christian's dad even thinks they're above the rest of the royals, like the Coalition Princes and Princesses. That's how entitled. No wonder Christian hates us all. We are merely peasants."

Lissa makes a 'huh' noise and looks thoughtful.

My heart slowly is quieting as I focus on the one thing I can clearly dissect from their chatter - they didn't like him and they didn't really know him. I pick out other details, like Christian goes to their school and I realise of course he does, it was the biggest one in America for Moroi and Dhampirs.

But it's just...so weird. The world is this big place, thousands of miles between my old normal and the new one, but yet it's not big enough.

"So…he's living with Tasha." Lissa mulls over. "Well, she seems…normal. Well, every time I've spoken to her. She's actually quite funny and down to earth. She doesn't sound anything like her brother."

"Daddy says she's a revolutionary. Whatever that means."

"She wants to use magic to fight, that's what Andre told me he heard my dad say."

Natalie taps her lolly against her teeth. "So, she is a bit mad then. No exposure to sunrays to defend her."

Lissa frowns. "It's not mad."

Natalie points her lolly at Lissa. "In your opinion."

Lissa goes rigid and I can see her swallowing whatever argument she's chewing on. She shouldn't, not after telling me she's sick of pretending and if everyone was going to push me to say what I was thinking then shouldn't they take their own advice?

Lissa exhales. "Maybe that's why she and Dimitri are together. Fire creates passion and a challenge for him." She breaks off a piece of chocolate and pops it into her mouth, grinding a bit too much.

My ears perk up and I dare not to breathe, I need this conversation to follow the same thread. I need to know, I need to know for a lot of reasons but the biggest one being that if Dimitri is connecter to her, the Master's sister, then...then...

Natalie cocks her head and an indignant expression wrinkles her face. "Dimitri and Tasha aren't together."

Now Lissa looks confused. "But I saw them at the Lodge last Christmas, I think they'd been at a party. They were laughing and their arms were linked."

"Ooooh how kinky." Natalie laughs and Lissa flushes.

"Well…" Lissa scrambles around for something to say and surprisingly I feel light, despite having consumed pounds and pounds worth of food. "They looked close and anyway, how would you know? You couldn't remember his sister's names."

"Daddy has lists." Natalie whispers with a glimmer in her eye. "Of everyone and who they are acquainted with. Relationship statuses, family trees, interactions etc."

Lissa blinks. "Why the hell does he have that? Where?"

Natalie is practically giddy. "On his computer! I hacked it just before Ben went absolutely ape shit with the security crap. I think they thought someone else had been in there. That's kind of a compliment if you think about it."

Lissa is still astounded. "But why?"

"If you think about it it's quite smart. They do say success comes from who you know and now daddy knows who everybody knows. How do you think I found out about Karp and Ben before our holiday?"

Lissa is absorbing all this and so am I but I only understand pieces.

Lists of people? If his Guardians are on it, his employees, was I on it?

"I thought you'd been listening in on calls or something." Lissa mumbles and then acuteness returns to her face as she focuses. "So there's this list and it says what? Dimitri Belikov single?"

"Basically. Although it does say under Tasha's name under 'close friends' and in brackets 'she is interested'" Natalie reveals, laughter infecting her voice before she finishes her sentence. "Imagine trying to make a chart of everyone at school. Oh my God Spiridon's history is crazy, you would not believe-"

Interested? Interested in what? What was there to be interested in? Dimitri is interesting though, especially when he allowed you to peek through the doors he closed. Did she find him interesting because he had opened the door for her? He wouldn't even let me see his bedroom. I've been carried off in this wave of unanswerable questions that I've completely missed their conversation. And I've stress eaten a candy bar.

I reach for more oreos.

"That is disgusting." Lissa cringes. "Both sisters? On the same night? I can't even picture it. Yano, Guardian's having… social lives. That's bad right?"

"Don't ask me. I'm grateful I can't imagine Spiridon banging the Voda twins."

Lissa squirms. "But it's...it's so weird. Did they have to disclose it because Uncle Victor is so proactive and pushing for things? Like he can't be blindsided in some way?"

"All about who you know and who you've banged. Spiridon's list is the longest, then Ben and Dimitri's is...short."

"And Tasha's not on it?" Lissa pries and I'm in danger of being sick again.

"Nah." Natalie answers, reaching for the bag of chips. "Dimitri's just had one Russian gal, who must be royal but I can't remember her name. I was too busy being shocked at Spiridons list. I think it only noted people that mattered. People in high positions who could know things so I think that Spiridon's are like...partly to do with him doing spy work. Which is kinda messed up but I'm not entirely sure."

"It is messed up if he's sleeping with people to report back to Uncle Victor...actually that's plenty messed up. Is he asked to do that?"

"Have you met Spiridon? He wouldn't do something he didn't want to do, or someone rather."

"Oh, so so gross." Lissa shudders. "Lets not talk about this anymore."

"So…you and Aaron-"

Lissa holds up her hands, throwing up a barrier to the subject. "No. Let's not talk about that either." I wish she could throw up a barrier to my train of thought. "I don't want to talk about it. I'll talk to him tomorrow and let you know…or yano, the whole school will get back to you."

Natalie rolls her eyes. "It was a party, you know they're like vultures for gossip and Mia's going to try her damned hardest to be a part of it."

"Don't waste your time worrying about her." Lissa advises, unfolding her legs and making empty wrappers crinkle. "She's not worth it."

"I don't worry about her." Natalie says. "I pity her and think I need to do her a grand favour by killing her social life before she hurts herself."

Lissa grins, shaking her head. "So, what show should we get Rose addicted to first?"

They both turn to me grinning, unaware that I feel like I've lived through the world-shaking for the past few minutes.

Updated: 15/04/2022

AHAHAAH AT THE PEOPLE WHO WENT BALLISTIC ABOUT TASHA AND NOW HAVE BOYCOTTED. AHAHAHAHAHAH SRSLY HOW MUCH COULD LISSA KNOW? AHAHAHAHA

I have gone mad with plot power.

(Now updated and hopefully I have edited correctly My wrist has recovered too. Yeah so just to be clear, unless something is specifically stated, described, and delivered without room to dispute it… don't go believing it to be the case. Thankfully most of you know this to be a general rule and that Rose is NOT a reliable narrator)