DPOV

The bedroom door swings open and the landing lights take me by surprise. It's not that they're overly bright but coming from a pitch-black room it was a bit of an adjustment. Rose's door's wide open and through narrowed eyes, I see her flat on her back and shaking in silent laughter. Lissa has her hand clamped over her mouth and then I see the reason why.

"I could totally get around campus like this." Natalie says but her voice is cracking with glee. Or maybe she's finding it hard to talk because she's put her legs through the arms of what looks like a sweatshirt and is ambling around in a crouch and that requires concentration.

Lissa spots me and her hand can't hold back her laughter anymore. A new wave of giggles knocks it out of the way and she flings herself back beside Rose.. Natalie turns around and her face goes blank.

"Uh, Goodmorning."

She screams and tries to dive out of sight, leading her to stumble and land in a heap. Rose laughs harder, tears streaming down her face as she clutches her stomach.

I have no idea what to do so I sharply turn left and go in search of coffee

I can't remember how to be around teenage girls. Thinking of my sisters doesn't help but I suppose that's different. I was always in on the joke then or welcomed into it, or I was the victim of it..but that was a long time ago.

There's a rapid stomping from above and I can only imagine Natalie has fallen over again or the other girls had joined in and they were racing.

Now that does make me laugh lowly.

"What's funny?" Rose asks from the archway.

Her cheeks were tinged pink, her eyes lit up and I feel some weight fall off my shoulders at the sight.

"Is Natalie joining a circus?"

Her eyes cloud with confusion but it's only for a split second, the second where she has to remember or recall the meaning of the word.

"No…no she doesn't like clowns." She tells me, taking a mug from the cupboard and passing it to me.

"A shame. I think she would have been a grand attraction, especially if she learned to somersault."

She laughs again and the warmth of it takes me back.

I pour out my coffee and our hands collide over the sugar pot.

"Sorry." She says quickly.

"That's alright." I murmur back. "Can you pass me a teaspoon?"

Grateful to do something she pulls the drawer open so fast the cutlery clatters. Time, I remind myself, is what she needs before she can fully relax. Over the past few weeks, I'd glimpsed the person she was behind the protective walls, usually when she was on the verge of losing her temper. It was like fire rising up and lighting her but then...then it would quickly retreat and leave her a hallow version.

I stir the coffee and toss the spoon into the sink. I lean back against the counter and take a sip. Bittersweet and sharp, perfect.

Rose is watching me closely.

"What?"

My voice had been too abrupt, making her start and turn away, something flashing across her face.

"Nothing, you just looked happy." She says so faintly I strain to hear her.

I force my voice to be light. "Of course I'm happy. I have my morning fix and -" I wait for her to peek over her shoulder and raise the mug at her, "Good company."

She beams and again I feel like I did when I walked out of my bedroom, trying to adjust and then dumbfounded.

"So." I begin, clearing my throat. "What do you girls want for breakfast?"

"I like you Dimitri." Natalie declares loudly coming into the kitchen. "You ask all the right questions."

Lissa trails behind and smiles in greeting. Natalie is avoiding looking at me and throws open the fridge door. Rose sidles up beside her, no doubt already starting to panic and plan meals.

I could leave them to it but I decide to take risk and try to step in on the joke. "Work up an appetite?"

Lissa grins.

Natalie clears her throat, spinning to look at me with set shoulders. "I really did. You should try getting into that position some time, works up a really good burn. You could race Spiridon."

Lissa sniggers and Rose bites her lip.

"It wouldn't be much of a race." I return, pushing away from the counter. "My legs are longer."

Rose and Lissa burst into laughter and Natalie gives me a look of what I can only discern as mild approval.

"So the real question is." Lissa says, flushed and watery-eyed. "Is where we would find a sweatshirt big enough."

"A sumo shop." Natalie answers, passing Rose the eggs. "I think I want pancakes. Confetti and chocolate chip with sliced banana. Oh and we have chocolate syrup and I could crumble some cookies on top."

"So Diabetes." Lissa summarizes. "You want diabetes."

"You only live once."

I help them set up the utensils and feel immensely proud when Rose asks if she can have some protein powder. I'd been worried that after yesterday's…incident she would be holed up in her room for days refusing to see or speak to any of us. I'd even imagined tears and screaming but I shouldn't have underestimated her.

If Spiridon is an ass to her I may let that self-control lapse.

I'd been enjoying the mornings more and more these past few weeks and this morning is truly pleasant. Natalie and Lissa had never been rude to be as such but I'd never been inside the fold. This is Spiridon and Ben's domain, Spiridon has had a relationship with Natalie for years and Ben had an easy presence. It wasn't something that had bothered me as such as I knew I could appear standoffish and cold but being included in their banter now...it's nice. Even though I wasn't participating, just a silent helper as Lissa and Natalie batted conversation back and forth with Rose watching them like they were her favourite television show.

It felt close to something that was almost like home.

Almost.

An hour later the sink is piled high with batter coated bowls and utensils and the breakfast island is laden with plates. Multi-coloured sprinkles and chocolate chips are scattered on the marble top and the girls sit around it full and content.

I have my second cup of coffee, no sugar, almost feeling the same way.

"Should I make Victors?" Rose asks me as Natalie continues to argue that sugar is an important food group for a vampire to a bemused Lissa.

I clock the time. "Give it another half hour. They were up late."

"Weren't you?" She asks and then jumps when Natalie slaps the counter to emphasise a point she's made. She apologises and then gets back on her case.

"Yes."

I can feel her watching me as I take another drink.

"But you don't sleep a lot."

I turn my head a fraction so I can look down over my shoulder at her, "Exactly why I drink so much coffee."

She opens her mouth and I know she's about to ask me why but Natalie has exhausted her previous argument and asks if Rose will become bulky by eating protein powder.

"Not at all. It will just encourage muscle growth and give her more energy."

Natalie flexes her arm. "Maybe I should start taking protein shakes."

"Really? You think you need more energy?" Lissa asks drily.

"I need muscle. I could fight crime, find out who set Miss Karp's locusts free, who put firecrackers in Kirova's office." The whole time Natalie had been swishing her hands around like the karate kid. She throws one out at Lissa's face, stopping just shy of her nose. "Punch Mia in the face."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." I mutter and collect the finished plates. Rose immediately starts to help.

Lissa regards her blandly. "You should stop giving her the satisfaction of being a problem."

"But she is a problem." I hear Natalie say as I put remove the dishes from the sink so I can fill it. Beside me, Rose is bouncing on the balls of her feet. I step aside before she can push me out of the way. "I'd be defending your honour from the home wrecker."

"Don't." Lissa warns and I look to see her face has turned very hard. The atmosphere of the room is dropping and I catch Rose's eye. She's noticed too. We both turn back to the sink.

"After breakfast would you like to come on a walk with me?" I ask Rose, trying to ignore what Natalie is saying.

She looks up at me surprised and I take the soapy dish from her to dry. Thankfully she's too preoccupied to protest.

"A walk?" She asks.

"If you break up with him he's going to rebound right into the child!" Natalie's voice stresses from behind.

"I really don't care. Doesn't that say enough about it?" Lissa replies icily.

"Yes." I set the dish on the rack and take another from her hands. "The path I run every day and the one you will too but I figure we should walk it first. It can be really beautiful and I'd hate for it to distract you so much that you run into a tree."

Her face immediately takes on that defensive look and I fight the urge to grin. "I wouldn't run into a tree."

"Doesn't it matter to you at all that I am unhappy?" Lissa hisses.

"Of course it does." Natalie replies sounding hurt. "I'm thinking about how it will be the first subject of rumours and shit-stirring when we get back to school. Can't you wait a few more weeks?"

Rose glances over her shoulder and I know she wants to leave the room just as much as I do...or go temporally deaf.

"Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. You'd trip and I don't like breaking stride once I get going." I try to keep my centred on our conversation so we can ignore the other two.

"I wouldn't trip." Rose snaps back, shoving a plate into my hands so I almost drop it. "And even I did you wouldn't notice. I remember how fast you are."

I could swear there's envy in her voice and if I wasn't sure then the way she was furiously scrubbing batter off the wooden spoon confirmed it. I take it from her before she reduces it to splinters. "I'll teach you to be fast but first we'll start with a walk."

She turns to me and puts a hand on her hip, something so scarily similar to what Natalie would do. "Why can't we run? I'm not fast but I can run."

I remember how she fled through the trees from me. She had been fast but how much of that had been adrenaline? I set the last dish on the rack and let the water drain.

"We're walking and you'll see why."

Her scowl tells me she's about to start arguing with me and I almost welcome it when there are rapid footfalls on the stairs. Rose jumps like she's been electrocuted and darts for the coffee pot. I resist the urge to sigh. Lissa and Natalie seemed to have cleared up whatever it is they were conflicted over as Natalie has one arm across Lissa's shoulders but both are watching Rose with mixed expressions of confusion and concern.

It isn't just me then.

Spiridon rounds into the kitchen. "Good morning Ladies and Rose."

My good mood goes into decline.

"It was a nice morning." Natalie dishes back loftily. She could match his obnoxious personality and run with it. I had no such talent. Neither does Lissa it seems as she throws him a look, that he doesn't see and wouldn't acknowledge even if he did, and goes to assist Rose.

Spiridon yanks open the fridge and pulls out a soda. "Have I missed breakfast or can I put in my order?"

"You missed it." Natalie smiles. "We had pancakes. They were delicious."

He actually pouts. "Awww. Does this mean the rest of us have to starve? Really Rose? Bad form."

Rose looks taken back and seems to shrink into herself. All the happiness and confidence that had been holding her up this morning vanishes. The teaspoon Lissa had been using to stir his coffee (she'd been able to persuade Rose to let her help) clatters on the countertop and by the look on her face, he's in danger of having his drink thrown at him.

"I- No I-" Rose begins.

"You could do with a fast." Natalie snaps back. "You're getting all pudgy."

Spiridon grins lazily over his cola. "More of me to love."

"More for the Strigoi to grab." Natalie sasses back.

"Ooooh that was a good one."

Rose looks like she's having some internal crisis and Victor's coffee is trembling in her hands. I take it from her.

"Make him some oatmeal." I tell her. "With cinnamon and three sugars."

"Oh, so you get special treatment?" Spiridon hurls across the room.

I ignore him, keeping my gaze locked on Rose's, willing her to ignore him too. "And Ben will take the same minus the cinnamon. I'll ask Victor what he wants."

Relief spreads over her face and Lissa seems to relax too as if she'd been feeling the amount of stress Rose had been under.

"Thanks, dad." Spiridon tells me sarcastically as I cross the kitchen. I have an intrusive thought about throwing the contents of the mug at him.

I make myself take the stairs slowly, working on settling the rise of irritation. Knowing him for so long means he's privy to which button to push and when I don't react it makes him dance across them. It's truly a test, our lives running alongside each other again and not having Galina to enforce the boundaries.

Some people I guess you would always be allergic to, no matter how well you disciplined your rage.

I knock on Victor's suite door and leave his coffee on the small table on the landing after he responds. Guessing Ben would be harder to get up, from how late he stayed up and how generally loved sleep, I knock twice and then let myself in. He doesn't even stir. I turn on his light, turning the wattage right up until he groans, and turn on the radio.

Spiridon's words are waiting in the hall for me, 'Thanks, Dad'

I return to the kitchen trying to shake off the remark like something sticky.

Spiridon is in the middle of explaining something and trying not to laugh. Natalie and even Lissa are smiling and paying attention, the previous grudge forgotten. Rose is still standing by the sink, a steaming bowl of oats beside her. Spiridon's bowl is in front of him and already half-eaten despite that it was obviously still hot.

Rose looks up expectantly when I come in.

"Toast." I tell her simply and she immediately goes to work.

I resist the urge to tell her to relax or try to help so silently I drink my own coffee as the other three burst into fits of laughter. Maybe I was too sensitive or maybe I was being so on Rose's behalf. She would get used to him and in doing so she would grow a thick skin.

Victor appears before Ben and Spiridon vacates his spot at the island bar for him. I try not to wince at how uncomfortable Rose looks as Victor asks her about her night. At first, she just nods and looks down but as the other two girls start piping up they urge her into the conversation and she relaxes a little. And of course, Victor knows how to graciously handle the situation.

Ben stumbles in looking like he hasn't slept at all. Rose darts across the room and is holding his tea and oatmeal out to him before he's even halfway into the room.

Sleepily Ben points at her. "You, you are amazing. Thanks, kid."

She blushes and I hide my grin behind my mug. He takes them both from her and hops onto the counter beside me.

"Rough night?" I murmur.

Ben shakes his bowed head. "She's not happy with me at all."

"It's out of your hands. It's not your fault."

Ben pushes his oatmeal around. "She says she can't depend on me and she doesn't feel like she knows me anymore."

"You haven't changed and she knew what the job entailed." I keep my voice low and watch Rose laugh as Natalie explains to Victor what she had been doing this morning in the sweater. It seems to be a part of some internet hype that Spiridon knows about.

"But she's right. I never see her." He says glumly and eats a spoonful.

I shouldn't have asked. I shouldn't be in a position to hand out relationship advice. I couldn't even get my own sisters to hold a long phone call with me. "Should that change things? You talk…you love each other."

He doesn't say anything for a few minutes and I finish my coffee.

"Maybe love isn't enough."

I touch his shoulder and put my mug in the sink.

Victor steers the conversation to 'something I have to discuss with you' and I cross to Rose's side. I dip down, ignoring her twitch, and tell her to go and change so we can leave. She casts a curious glance at Victor and the two girls. Ben has left the room and Spiridon is leaning on the fridge watching avidly, eager to see how Natalie reacts. Rose's eyes shift to the plates and cups left but before she can fuss I verbally push her from the room.

Natalie is not happy. Even though I excuse myself to the living room I can hear her protests which are in plenty. Going back to school early doesn't give her enough time to organise, he just got home and they hadn't spent any proper time together and there are things to teach Rose. Unwillingly I think about the reason behind Rose's off behaviour the last few days and how she'd felt there was no other option but to hide it from us all. What if something like that happens and she doesn't have a girl to turn to?

I liked to push but I didn't like pressuring her. Even when it was evident something was hurting her. Her privacy is another freedom she had to learn to get comfortable with and the choices that came with it.

Victor reasons that she can come back on weekends and Rose has a phone now so whatever issues she has she can call. He will clear it with Kirova that Natalie may have to excuse herself from classes but she cannot take advantage of it.

Natalie leaves the kitchen with a scowl burning her face and Lissa follows looking troubled. They both start up the stairs as Rose is coming back fully dressed. They exchange a few words, Natalies voice reminding me of a boiling pot with a lid about to blow off, and the girls continue upstairs leaving Rose looking anxious as she makes her way down.

"Ready?" I ask, meeting her at the bottom and glad to see she's chosen sensible footwear. She nods and I lead the way through the kitchen to the side door. Spiridon raises an eyebrow and I usher Rose out before he can say anything stupid.

The late evening still holds warmth, like being wrapped in a light blanket. Rose's head is craned back, her eyes searching the sky. I don't want to puncture her thoughts so I set off across the green to the trail that leads into the woods. I'm just over the threshold when she hurries up beside me. The solar-powered lanterns that dot the trail are starting to glow on the forest floor. Usually, this is the time I'm almost done with my workout and the lights are bringing me back.

"Will it be okay? I mean it's getting dark and..." Rose asks.

She's spent a lot of time out in the smaller garden, never showing any inclination wanting to venture further. When I came back from my runs and she was in the kitchen she would cast curious glances out here but her body language showed it made her tense.

"Remember I told you about the wards? They give us a wide perimeter. If for whatever reason the perimeter is breached the lights," I gesture to the one we're passing, "will glow red. They'll also do that if the wards are down."

"Has that ever happened?" She doesn't sound worried just curious. Always curious.

"Not unexpectedly."

"And if they did we get back to the panic room?"

"In theory, yes."

"In theory?"

I should have just said yes. Better not to confuse her and just give her the concrete outline instead of making things abstract. "Times of crisis can mean things don't always go to plan…" Her big brown eyes are probing. I look ahead. "It might work out better to get into a car and go but yes, get to the panic room if you can."

It would be ideal to run a practice drill soon. Natalie may take it seriously this time for Rose's sake, instead of refusing to get out of bed and screaming she'd rather be dead instead of up at three pm. Victor had been livid.

On the right, the trees begin to thin and then disappear completely. Rose stops walking and I stop too. The look on her face as she took in the large sapphire surface of the lake is satisfying. On the other side of the large body, you could make out the bluish glow of the lanterns. Mere fireflies in the distance.

"In early summer it's great to swim in. Even the girls find it warm enough in the evenings." I murmur and then it occurs to me. "Can you swim?"

Rose shakes her head still staring out.

"Well, you can be taught if you wanted that."

She looks up at me, the chocolate brown filled with wonder. I turn away as Dary milk pops into my head and the cravings start.

"Come on." I urge and set off again.

We walk in silence the rest of my planned route but it isn't awkward, it's comfortable and somehow that's more filling than conversation. I keep glancing at her to gauge if she's growing bored or tired, she's still too thin and I don't want to exhaust her, but the look of awe doesn't leave her face. I find myself looking at her for that reason instead. Whether it be she was looking out at the lake or at the sky, at the wildflowers that bloomed on the left or at forest noises but she did step closer to me when a fox sounded in the distance. She looked sceptical that the baby wailing noise belonged to an animal but she didn't say anything.

I try seeing everything as she does, fresh and new.

It's thirty minutes until the trail starts to steep upwards and I slow my pace as much as I can without it being obvious. I don't think I fool her but she doesn't complain and that may be because her breathing has become shallow.

Maybe I should have planned a shorter route. We still had the walk back and she'd sooner punch me again than accept a piggyback. I think I'd rather be punched than hear myself offer and how awkward I'd sound.

Rose suddenly surges on ahead elbows punching the air on either side of her. I realize I've been smiling and it immediately falls off my face. She thinks I'm laughing at her. I'm not sure what to do so I let her lead until the ground evens out again.

"Just here." I call after her and she halts a few paces ahead.

With her back to me, I hear her take sharp breaths and I know she's trying to keep it even. I walk over to the grassy plateau that looks out across the lake and give her a moment to herself.

We are exactly halfway around and the moon was now peeking out from behind a bank of clouds.

The grass rustles softly as she comes up beside me.

"When I got here everything was covered in snow, even the water had partly frozen over." I murmur as the memory of my first run in November surfaces. "It wasn't nearly as cold as I was used to but it felt a little bit like home. I suppose the dark helped… you can make yourself believe a lot more is possible then."

The moon has moved out from behind the clouds and the water reflects it like satin holding a pearl.

"You miss it." Rose says softly. I look down and find she's watching me with a lot more understanding than I'm comfortable with.

I clear my throat and look away. "Of course I do. It's my home."

Moments pass and the wind picks up, causing the water's surface to ripple.

"Have you been back?" She asks quietly. "I know it's a long trip."

"You do?" I look down at her and she's looking out at the water. There's colour in her cheeks but that may have been due to the walk.

"I read it."

Of course, she did. "No. I haven't been back."

"Do you…do you plan to?"

The question pushes under my skin but the worry in her voice placates my irritation. "No, I don't. Anyway, how did you find the walk here? Honestly."

She fixates on the lake again and I can see her weighing up her answers. She overthought everything but then again I'd been told I did that too.

"I don't really know what you mean." She finally says. "I – I managed it. I kept up."

"Well, that much is obvious." I return and kick myself when her head and shoulders drop. "I meant did you find it challenging? And take into account we have to walk back."

"Yes." She utters, toeing a stone before kicking it over the edge.

"Then you're going to keep walking it until it no longer is. That's where we'll begin with your training."

I turn away and double back the way we came. She's beside me in an instant and I can the indignation radiating off her.

"Walking? It wasn't that hard and I can do more, I've always done more and you said-"

"I said we'd start slow." I say, trying to sound calm.

"Oh, okay. Next time I'll just outwalk Alec."

The dripping sarcasm takes me by surprise but it's surpassed by the welling of emotion that has me round on her. She almost collides with my chest. It didn't help we were on the slope and it was harder for her to right herself. It's even easier for her to glare right at me.

"First that is never going to be an issue again. Secondly, do you really think physically you could put out enough force to even block an attack? No, you don't have nearly enough body mass. And thirdly the best defence against an aggressor is to get away." She's still glaring at me but I won't let it throw me off. I lean in closer. "Never engage unless necessary."

She presses her lips together. I turn away and resume downhill before her pride had her say something else that I reacted to it.

"And this is only halfway. The other half is more up and down. It took us an hour to get that far, so two at least for the whole way around. You need to work on improving that time whilst building up your strength."

"And then you'll teach me how to punch someone?" She demands and I roll my eyes. She didn't need to be taught, my face could attest.

"I'll teach you how to throw a punch." I bargain over my shoulder. "When you run the whole trail in one hour."

I hear her stumble but I don't look back. I didn't want the mere sight of her to cause me to question my resolve. If I was going to train her then I was going to do so with the same precision and disposition I had shown every other.

We walk back to the house in silence.

I make a point of standing aside and punching in the side doors code so she can see and sure enough when I look over my shoulder her eyes are trained on it. I can't help but think that if she were more rebellious would she still be here. She is bright, intuitive and I knew she listened to absolutely everything, whether she meant to or not. She could easily run away if she wanted to. But she had nowhere to go and it was ingrained in her that any sign of rebellion would be broken.

"Evening." Ben salutes from the kitchen island.

Breakfast was no more than an hour ago but he's holding a very sloppy PB&J sandwich.

"Hi." Rose replies softly and I shut the door behind her.

"What do you think of our backyard then?" Ben says, lowering the laptop screen.

I fetch two bottles of water from the fridge.

"Beautiful." She answers in that same quiet voice but when I turn around she's smiling and it's a smile that reached her eyes.

I hadn't asked what she'd thought of the view or the landscape. Why hadn't I asked? It's so much different to what she was used to and I'd been with her when she experienced it. And I hadn't even asked how she'd felt about it. I'd just gone on at her about her physical abilities.

"Glad it's to your taste." Ben grins and she smiles wider.

I snatch a granola bar from the cupboard and hand it and a bottle to her. It startles her but she takes it anyway.

There's a loud thudding from overhead accompanied by Natalie's unintelligible voice.

"She's packing." Ben explains with a look that says she's taking it as well as Victor feared.

"I see."

"Packing?" Rose asks, her eyes widening.

"Uh, yes." Ben says, his gaze flickering between us. He probably assumed I would have explained to Rose what had occurred. I should have. I was getting far too distracted. "She and Lissa have to return to school."

"But it doesn't start for a few more weeks." Rose says in a rush and the plastic dents under her fingers.

"They're returning early as something important has come up that requires Victor to travel." I tell her. "And because it's out of the country he requires all of us to accompany him. No one can stay behind this time."

"Am I…am I coming with you?" The panic in her voice has most definitely been shadowed by fear.

"Can hardly leave you here, can we?" Ben exclaims throwing up a hand. "God knows what wild shenanigans you'll get up to." A smile creeps onto her face. I envied his ability to that, be so easygoing and joking in a way that could reassure her. I could only offer monotone facts. "You best go up and see her. She was giving off about having to teach you colour co-ordinating and not being 'matchy matchy' or was it 'muchy muchy'… I can't remember. There's a duffle bag on your bed too. Pack warm."

Rose nods fervently and hurries out of the kitchen.

When I hear her on the stairs I turn back to Ben. "What were you looking at?"

He reopens his laptop. "Keith reported something to Victor after you left and I've just posted it onto the main base. He paid a visit to the group of Keepers on our border this afternoon, only when he got there they were gone."

"Gone?" I peer over his shoulder at the report filed on the network shared between all Guardian bases. Alchemists had restricted licenses on what they could view but they were eligible to submit reports if they deemed it necessary information.

"No sign of foul play or a struggle or anything like that. Just like they'd simply packed up and offski'd."

"What?"

"Left. It looks like they just left."

"Known to have been residents of the area for thirty years…" I utter the report aloud. "That is odd. But-"

"But not enough for concerned action." Ben finishes.

I shrug. "It could just be a matter of relocating. We hardly know anything about their way of life or customs."

"I still think it's odd."

"Of course you do." I clap him on the shoulder. "We're paid to be paranoid."

"Tell that to Spiridon."

"Do you know when we're leaving?"

"Victor wants to see Natalie off tomorrow so the day after next."

Ice pools in my stomach at his answer converts into hours surrounding the bodies. I know my facial muscles haven't moved an inch but Ben's expression turns as grim as my thoughts.

Throughout the evening a series of banging accompanied by muffled ranting travels down from Natalie's suite. It would go quiet for periods and then it would start again. It seemed Natalie's primary concerns are some clothing parcels were yet to reach her that were essential for 'this semester's wardrobe' and more understandably that she and Victor hadn't spent enough time together.

"You know I wouldn't go if it weren't necessary. I don't like it any more than you do darling." He'd told her as she marched downstairs and past his office carrying decorative storage bags, she was giving to Rose to keep her 'essentials' in. That was another thing she made apparently we were robbing her of. Teaching Rose the basics of being a girl. I had utterly no idea how to respond and I was glad Natalie's exclamations were made generally aloud and not directed.

"Yeah, whatever." She through over her shoulder and Victor frowned behind her back.

I'd finished running background detail on our chosen pilot, crew and route, and with nothing of import demanding my attention I'd returned to my room. On the way, I glance into Rose's. She and Lissa are sitting on the bed, a row of beauty products lined up between them. Lissa seemed to be quizzing Rose on their uses and when they should be applied.

I try to read but after numerous attempts at the same page, I give up and go for a run instead. I make it to the plateau we'd stopped at earlier in a quarter of the time and bypass it. I wanted to run until my legs burned and my lungs were white-hot. I hit the part of the trail that turns to steeps dips and rises and by the time the ground evens out again I've broken a sweat. I make the first circuit in forty minutes, the second in forty-two and the third in just under forty-one.

I can't feel my legs when I step back into the kitchen and my heart hammering so hard I barely hear Rose say hello. I return a meagre wave and resist the temptation to stick my head under the kitchen tap.

I grab a bottle of water and my heart quietens enough for me to hear what she's saying.

"…she seemed upset about it but I remembered they had some in the freezer so do you think it's a good idea?"

I heave in two more lungfuls and make myself focus on her expectant face. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you asked me."

She huffs and I resist the sudden urge to laugh. It seemed being in the light of the girl's presence was allowing Rose's actual personality to bloom instead of her trying to be so regulated with her responses and submissive. Those rare quips or witty snaps I'd seen of her had been appearing more regularly.

"I said, "definitely Natalie's influence, "that Natalie is upset because she and Victor have a special dinner together every year before she goes back to school. She says it's their bonding time. They get to talk, Victor turns off his phone and Spiridon isn't allowed near them."

"Sounds pleasant. What were you asking me though?"

"She said they always have steak and I said they have some in the freezer and should I, well do you think if I made it, they could have their dinner together tonight?"

I consider it. "That's very thoughtful." She shrugs like it's no big deal but her cheeks colour. "I think they'd like that. Have you cooked steak before?"

Judging from the opened cookbook it looks unlikely.

"That's what I was asking you." She says sounding slightly impatient. "Would you help me?"

Now I really have to fight the urge to grin and comment on the fact she'd asked for help. There was a trace of vulnerability on her face which helps me extinguish the urge. It cost her to ask.

"Of course. Let me change and I'll find out how they prefer it cooked."

She smiles in relief and I jog upstairs with some renewed sense of energy.

Victor was entirely grateful at Rose's gesture and to her alarm, he'd enveloped her in a warm hug. Natalie thanked her too but remained standoffish as she sat down at one of the two-place settings at the table, eyeing her father like a wronged child.

It was a relief to disappear upstairs. Spiridon had taken Lissa home and Ben seemed preoccupied with his phone buzzing every other minute. He'd better leave his baggage on home soil. We couldn't afford a weak spot on this trip and if needed I would push him to block her number during working hours.

My phone buzzes and for a wild second wishful thinking surpasses reason. I snatch it up and check the caller ID. Trying not to sound ridiculously disappointed I answer.

"Please tell me that you're free to talk?"

I push my cleared plate away and lean back in my desk chair. "What's wrong?"

Tasha sighs. "Oh, I'm just living in a teen angsty world where people communicate in monosyllables and grunting."

"Sounds quieter than the one I live in."

"Nothing is ever simple is it?" She says. "So how has your day been?"

"Good. I ran. Victor broke it to Natalie she will be going back to school sooner than she expected. She wasn't pleased."

"We need to swap kids. This one can't wait to get away from me." She grumbles.

"It's not about you." I reassure her quietly.

She sighs again. "He just shuts himself away. He won't talk to me. Lucas and Moira won't talk to me. He's made it very clear he doesn't want to speak to them. They think I've planted ideas in his head and they're too bloody proud and stupid to see he's thinking for himself. If I could Lucas alone then maybe we could resolve some of this…"

I wait for a beat. "How exactly?"

"I don't know. He's my brother. I could talk some sense into him..." The line goes quiet and it's uncomfortable just how unhopeful she sounded but she renews with some vigour. "I could go down there after Christian leaves for school. They'd have to talk to me then, they'd have to listen."

"They won't listen, Tash." I say gently. "You know-"

"But I have to try, don't I?" She persists, "What happens when I see him at Court? At meetings? Are we going to ignore each other for the rest of our lives? Victor has them in a vice now where they have to comply but what happens when he doesn't? Do I let my brother destroy his life? Christians? I need to at least try and talk him into sense. And I know it's her, I know it's her that's put…put this perilous idea into motion."

I take a steady breath as the fine line between my job and my personal life. "What idea?"

I knew. We'd guessed as much tracking Lucas' and Moira's steps throughout the year. Tasha never said outright but just what she suspected they were doing, vaguely, like she couldn't admit it to herself.

What Spiridon had said, about there being a chance of her standing by her brother, runs through my mind.

The sadness presses upon my ear before her voice carries through. "That there's no way out. That a wave is coming and one by one the families will be picked off. That it's too late to stop it."

My voice must remain steady. "To stop what?"

"I don't know Dimka, I don't know." She sighs and I know she knows I'm on the line. Between being there for her and being Victor's ears. "Whatever it is it scares them, it's scared them so much they've lost all sense."

I choose my side of the line and step over to be her friend, and friendship made it harder to be honest. "We're all scared but times like these… brings out who we really are. We're willing to fight and they're willing to give up. I don't know if you can talk him into being something that he's not."

"To stop him from being a coward?"

It is definitely harder on this side of the line. "No. To be a better person. I don't...I don't think there is any hope for him."

It's quiet for so long I wonder if she's put the phone down and walked away.

"Christian said something to me earlier." She begins, voice thick. "I proposed we should make a front together against them, sort things out but he said…he said…"

"What?" I murmur, a place in my chest starting to fill up with cold pressure.

"He said something about a girl." She says quietly. "That Victor's leverage is a girl. A girl that he thinks has been there all her life and that…that Lucas may have fathered her to a, a woman …they keep." She couldn't even say it. She couldn't admit it aloud because it would mean having to face what her brother was even though she knew. It was why she rarely visited that house, the rumours on top of it being placed in a ridiculous place for a Moroi. A place that alienates Moroi and Dhampirs can endure. "He said they were as good as dead to him."

Her hope was a weak flame flickering against the dark truth.

Christian's approach is one I understand, one I think makes sense and one I hope she comes around to herself.

"Dimka?" She whispers.

"He isn't her father. We ran the tests." Is all I can say and on the other end of the line I hear her break and the flame goes out. I speak softly and I hope she can hear me over her own sobs. "You've suspected what he's capable of for a long time Tasha…it's time to face it. And just be grateful that Christian is away from it now and it's not something he considers normal."

A lot of us were already considered beneath Moroi, naturally inferior. We were there to be thrown between ourselves and Strigoi…it was frightening how easy it could be to push the boundary. To put us within slavery.

She lets out a shaky breath and I can see her in my mind. She'd be curled up in her favourite armchair near the fire. Cracked red leather with faded to pink spots on the arms. There would be black crisps littering the hearth, where she'd have been toying with papers and practising control.

The night I found out about the Zeklos' massacre I'd sat there. Not able to speak. Not able to think. Only able to keep drinking the whiskey she poured as she sat silently by me.

"No," She says in a tone that can only be described as watery.

I sit forward and rest my forehead on my knuckles. I wished I knew the right thing to say or to be there to put an arm around her. At least then she'd know I was trying to be supportive. I used to be full of comforting mantras and promises. Phrases or paragraphs I knew when to recite when my father had gone off. Now I refused to say anything unless I thought it was true unless I believed in it. She understands that too although she doesn't always like it.

It would be easier to appease her and make fantastical possibilities up about her family. But I'd learned the hard way about fantasying about the possibility of how a family could be.

"Christian is nothing like him." She trails on and then lets out a bitter laugh. "Lucas has become our father but Christian is not his."

It's quiet again and I listen to the faint shuffling on the landing. The door closes and I push back in my chair looking at the strip of light under the door, wondering if Rose had been loitering outside my door.

I shouldn't have snapped at her on the stairs about my room. It was childish and uncalled for.

"The girl..." Tasha begins timidly and I tense. "Is she okay?"

I stare at the wall. "She's adjusting."

"Christian says she's his age."

"She is."

She swears under her breath and I can see her picking at the arm of the chair, at the flaking leather. "I know you can't say much but … God, I don't – I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to her. Is there anything I can do? Her mother…"

I take a deep breath and a heavy pocket inside expands the chamber of my chest. "There is nothing you can do. You can talk to Lucas, you could keep trying and I'm not going to tell you what to feel about it. But just bear in mind how he was when we showed up arrogant and proud. There was no remorse or guilt." I rub my temple and carry on with a lead tongue. "Her mother… we can't remove yet. We've taken procedures to make sure nothing…" I roll my tongue against my teeth and search for the right words. "that she, and the others, don't suffer any more offences."

No beatings. No starvation. More time to rest. Ailments are attended to by Guardians with medical training. No freedom. No promise of a different future. No basic skills, sense, stability. No time to erect a scheme or programme to shelter them.

"Offences." She echoes and then in a sudden burst of anger adds, "How could I have been so ignorant? I let this go on! And I would condemn and put down others when they made light of the notion, that probably wasn't a notion, of keeping a Dhampir and I knew, I knew there were rumours and I knew when I visited the house why they got antsy about the grounds. Not once did I see a Guardian lift a finger to anything. No, but they were lifting their hands for something completely different. How can they? How can they when it could easily be the other way around? It could be them!"

"I know." I didn't understand, would never understand.

"You should have told me sooner." She snaps and I hear a rushing noise.

"Watch the fire." I murmur.

I hadn't told her about Rose because it didn't seem right to me and I wasn't sorry for it. I swore to protect Rose and I had meant what I said about her being safe here. Telling Natasha would have blurred that line, weakened it and it didn't matter Natasha was not her brother.

The rushing and cackling pitches and I say her name again. After a few moments, it subsides and she exhales heavily.

Her voice is controlled. "If Lucas isn't her father then who is?"

My lip curls in disgust. A Guardian, as if they earned the right to even be called that. Tyrants, Sadists, every curse under the sun.

"No, her mother is Dhampir, not human. Rose is under the belief she was conceived before."

"Before what? Before she was kidnapped? Trafficked?"

"I don't know."

I didn't have answers, I'd tried picking up threads of Rose's mother's life but they hadn't gone anywhere. Ben is the best at scouring the internet for sources and he'd only just gotten back and it's not a topic open to discussion with Rose.

I would not pressure her about it and if we are able to discover something then she is the first person deserving the truth.

"If the girl's eighteen then her mother…" She tails off and she mutters calculations to herself. "Then she could have been there when my father bought the property."

Edward Ozera. I had met the man once when he had visited Tasha at school, it was the only time he'd visited to tell her that her mother had died. Then they had left for the funeral and Tasha was sent back to school the following week. His main business had been real estate for Moroi but it wouldn't surprise me if he had his hands in other areas. Remembering his emotionless expression and the blunt way in which he told Tasha her mother had passed away, in the foyer with other students there to hear, it didn't seem unlikely that someone like that could have been in the beginnings of the slave trade. And with Tasha avoiding her father and the Arizona property with exception of the few visits on special occasions it would be easy to fool herself.

She'd dissociated herself from her family for years, only keeping ties because of Christian

"I could find out." She says

The shuffling has started again on the landing. A very light sound. Most Guardians never achieved that skill.

"You could try." I say because she could I just didn't think she'd succeed.

I know that some part of her feels guilty and it will keep her wanting to be involved. To try and rectify it in some way because...as much as it is one of her strengths it's also her faults, she prides herself on being the better voice. On being progressive against the stigmas and prejudices. I know Victor's praise and encouragement inflates a sense of worth and importance. A remedy to the coldness she grew up in, in the shadow of her elder brother.

I sit up straighter and cast a look at the door when I hear the quiet closing of the one across the hall.

What did she want? Why didn't she knock?

Tasha sighs again and carefully she asks. "Have you heard anything from Sonja or Yeva?"

This was not something I wanted to discuss at all tonight. I was in danger of turning off the light and sitting in the dark for a few hours, completely healthy behaviour.

"I would have told you by now if I had." I return trying to sound calm but managing to sound violently cold.

"Olena will come around. When she's been clean for long enough then she'll see clearly."

My fist clenches against my thigh and I remember my control. How Galina had taught me to reign it so it did not reign me. And this was Tasha, I was not angry with Tasha. I was angry with everything else in the world.

"I hope so." I had taken this call hoping for some relief and now I felt about three times as heavy.

"I'm leaving again soon. I can't tell you why but it means postponing again. I'm sorry."

"Oh." She says in surprise. "Will you be back before you're Birthday?"

"Maybe. I'll let you know as soon I can. But Tash, you know I don't want –"

"Yes, I know." She says mockingly exasperated and the mood surrounding our conversation changes considerably. "No strippers, parties, dancing or anything daringly fun."

"Doing normal things with you is fun for me."

"Maybe I'll just shove you in a library with some balloons."

"Sounds like heaven."

"Weirdo." She sniffs and I grin. "Don't worry. I have it all thought out and within your boundaries. Just tell me when your back and book the damn day off."

"I will. Thank you. I have to go."

"Okay." I know she wants to ask more, she always did but there are different lines I didn't want to blur. "Goodnight, good morning, have a great day, happy travelling, talk to you soon and if I don't hear from you before then Happy Birthday."

I grin. "Goodnight Tasha. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I respect my elders you know."

"Right well, this is the old man signing off."

"Oh my god, a joke. Hang on – yes, yes the moon has turned blue."

"Goodbye Tasha."

I hang up and push myself out of the chair and head to the door.

She hadn't heard me coming which means I've earned some credit for my stealth training. Rose blinks up at me, her head craned back as she'd been quite close to the doorway.

Was she eavesdropping?

I raise an eyebrow and on cue, her tan cheeks darken a little but she doesn't break eye contact.

"I need help." She blurts and then looks mortified.

"What with?" I step out into the hall and close the door behind me. She casts it a curious glance.

"Packing." She murmurs and walks back into her room, expecting me to follow. Little steps to confidence. At least she didn't flounce as Natalie did. Not yet anyway.

Her wardrobes doors open and it's good to see it's half full. The bag Ben left is empty and gaping on the bed.

"Just warm and practical."

She gives me a look packed with enough sarcasm and exasperation that I almost laugh. "I don't know what 'practical' is."

I walk over to her wardrobe and she tails behind me. Ah, I began to see the issue. Natalie had picked off the current climate and not the upcoming autumn months or winter. But we were expecting Rose to put on weight and we hadn't expected her to accompany us on a trip like this.

"I think we'll be gone a few days." I tell her, pulling out the few thin sweaters that were in here. She could layer up. "No more than a week so you shouldn't need too much. It shouldn't be too much colder in Estonia."

"Estonia." She repeats taking the clothes from my hands. She turns her big eyes upon me. "Natalie said we're going to the school that was attacked."

I return her gaze. "Yes. But nothing bad is going to happen."

She turns away to put the clothes in the bag. "You can't promise that."

"Nothing bad is going to happen to you." She takes the pair of jeans I've fished out and doesn't comment. "Wear your sweatpants to travel in. Does that answer everything?"

"Yes." She murmurs. "Thank you."

As I'm walking out her voice halts me. "Are you going to find the things that hurt those people?"

I look over my shoulder with my hand still on the handle. "I hope not." And I shut it behind me.

The next day passes smoothly. Natalie and Victor's private dinner seems to have made amends but Natalie is quiet for most of the day, spending the majority of it with Rose in one or the others room.

I run. I run four laps and collapse on the grass at the end. I'm not sure how long I'm there but I could swear when I sit up the sky is varied from the blue it was before. I was overdoing it, I knew that. Not enough sleep, too much caffeine and pushing my body. But I'd read everything I owned and exhausted the library and even in reading my mind could wander off.

Was she doing any better? Had she lapsed again? Was it a good day or a bad day? I wanted to say sorry, I wanted them to understand I always am for the strain. I hope they know I did it because I cared. And it had to be better than being under his thumb didn't it? Me and my sisters had always banded together, not needing to speak to know how to support each other or handle my mother's temperament. Handle his. But he was gone now and so was I and somehow it hadn't got better.

I slouch back to the house. Rose is in the kitchen preparing a light dinner. Spiridon and Ben took escort detail to bring Natalie to school.

"Are you okay?" Rose asks.

"I'm fine."

I go upstairs to shower.

I pack my travel bag with essentials and when the others return we discuss the plan at the dinner table, unconcerned by Rose's presence. She didn't comment but you could see her calculating it up, piecing it together. I'd explain to her the situation later, it was only fair.

And it wasn't like she was liable to leak information.

It's about two hours after dinner and I pick up the Harry Potter book to take with me across the hall but on the landing, Spiridon is standing outside Victor's office. He cocks his head to the side and disappears down the other hall.

I glance at Rose's door and hope she doesn't go to bed soon. Victor had already turned in.

I turn into the dark hall and see the deck's door open. He hadn't turned on any of the lights. Hoping there is a point to this I step out after him, tucking the book into the waistband of my jeans at the back.

Spiridon is nestled in the corner between the rail and the wall of Victor's office, the most shadowed part of the deck which conceals him almost perfectly. It's obvious he's chosen the spot for a reason and tracing his eye line the reason lies in the drive below.

I pad up beside him.

"O yebat." I hiss.

At the bottom of the drive where the tarmac changes to gravel and leads into the trees, Ben and Sonya seem to be having an argument.

"What's been baffling me," Spiridon begins, his whisper warmed with amusement, "Is how she got here. No car, he didn't leave to pick her up, the wards haven't detected anything…"

Sonya's voice rises in pitch and she stabs a hand toward the house. Ben takes her by her arms and tries to calm her.

"She needs to leave. Before Victor knows she's here."

"Mhm, that would dramatic."

"How long have they been fighting?"

"I stepped out ten minutes ago for a cigarette, things seemed to be in full swing by then. I'm surprised you didn't hear. She was close enough to shouting."

"This is ridiculous."

"I know. She must have flown here or something." Sonya bats Ben's hands away and points in his face. Her red hair is half out of its knot and wild around her face. The wind has picked up around them, the leaves above shaking on swaying branches. "But her element isn't air so perhaps not."

I close my eyes and pray for strength. "I'm going to have to go down there."

"Personally, I object. She looks a bit deranged -" His sentence breaks in half as Sonya's hand strikes out and the crack off Ben's cheek is sharp from where we stand.

He could have stopped her if he'd wanted to.

"Harsh." Spiridon mutters as Sonya holds both hands over her mouth in shock at what she'd done.

I turn my back to them. "We shouldn't watch."

Spiridon shrugs, eyes still downcast. "What are you going to do? Stare at your bedroom ceiling instead?"

That was equivalent to how I spent most nights. Unless I took some tablets but I didn't like doing that. Was it that obvious I didn't sleep? Rose had noticed or had I told her? I can't recall.

Sleep is not worth the price of the things I dream about, the things I remember.

"He should end it." Spiridon says, eyes still flickering between them both. "It's not exactly like she has a lot to offer."

No matter how much I agree I refuse to. "He loves her. I know you don't understand that concept but it has as much importance as anything else."

Sometimes love is not enough.

He looks at me and his teeth flash in the dark. "More important than a stable well-paid job that puts a roof over your head, a roof with nearly as much protection as Court itself, at a time when it's very hard to procure any of those things?"

"It doesn't chalk up the same and you know it."

He stops smiling. "He doesn't need his head filled with shit when he has a job to do."

"I've told him that."

"There isn't time for love for people like us. Not now. Not when it doesn't help the cause. At least you know that."

"What are you talking about?" I should go back to my room. It would be more constructive to stare at the ceiling. Or maybe go out and usher their discussion to a close…and find out how the hell she got here.

His smirk is back. "Oh come on. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Although, it could be looking to get a bit trickier for you."

"What are you talking about?" I repeat.

The smirk gets bigger. "I get my information the best I know-how. I do my job, I get laid, no attachments, it balances out perfectly. But you, you're tangled up with Ozera."

He leans fully out on the riling, taking interest in them again as both voices temporally spike to and climb over each other. I was going to have to go down there.

"I mean," He begins quietly, "If Ben becomes too distracted Victor will at least give him the choice, depending on how badly he starts to perform, to give her up or his job. If he's smart then he'll cut her loose. Victor can also give us choices. He needs jobs done. Information gathered and right now you're personal ties are caught up in a precarious area."

Get to the point so I can shut it down.

He glances down to the rail and his lips twitch before he looks back out at the drive. I look down and my knuckles are white.

"Victor values his ties to people, you know as much. He has the Ozera family name tied to his now and has their support but we all know Lucas and Moira will remove it the first chance they get. Whether they run or get a message out to Nathan who knows but they will get out somehow. And when that happens he's going to need another Ozera in his corner. Ronald is a snooty wanker and Evette isn't interested in anything unless it sparkles. So who do you think he's going to keep close?"

"Tasha and Victor already have their own understanding," I say and have trouble moving my teeth apart. "Don't try to make out that it has to become sordid."

Spiridon gives me a look reserved for simpletons. "Now they do but when the world turns on her brother, her nephew's father, do you think an understanding will outweigh blood? Outweigh love?"

"And you're suggesting what exactly? Victor will ask me to monopolise my friendship for his gain?"

He tuts. "You put it so crudely. What can counter family love? I believe authors and bohemians say, 'true love conquers all'."

I should talk with him more often, it was exhausting. "I'm going to offer Sonya a lift."

"If Victor asks you to make a choice between acting on something that's already there with you and Tasha or your job, your family's protection, are you really going to tell him no?"

My tongue is lead and my heart rate has picked up. I can't answer.

"No, because you're not a fucking idiot." He murmurs. "And your sort of contractedly obligated too if he wants to really apply pressure. So, learn to put your morals aside Dimitr.. Make life easy and start something with her. Everyone knows she's wanted it since hormones kicked in."

My nails dig into my palms.

"They," he points down to the drive, "are idiots. And idiots don't make it out alive."

"You're are not someone I take reliable advice from." I murmur.

He turns to me. "You honestly think you know Victor better than I do?"

I return his gaze. All frivolous humour banished. This was as close to real emotion as he would get, as close to personal. "I don't contest that."

"He will ask you if it comes to it." He repeats. "All women romanticise their lives. Does she choose the Russian god who's helping the man who wants to save the world or her deranged brother in league with the leeches trying to destroy it? Does she choose the renowned Guardian, who having at her side strengthens her Moroi learning to fight agenda, or does she choose her notoriously creepy brother who'd rather let all Moroi die? "

"She'll make the right decision regardless." I snap. "Not everybody needs self-interest to motivate them to do the right thing. She doesn't support anything Lucas has done, it's torn her apart."

"Who cares what motivates people as long as it's in line with our motivations. Oh, she's crying now."

I turn on my heel and slip back into the house, closing the deck door behind me. I send Ben a quick text to tell him to resolve the issue, hoping it would be enough of a kick in the ass to put some sort of line under this.

I stride down the hall with every intention of going to my room and taking up some breathing exercises.

But I pause on the landing outside Rose's door, the faint buzz of voices carrying through. She's still awake and watching TV.

I should leave her be. Explaining Estonia could wait until tomorrow. But I didn't want to go to my room with a new surge of thoughts to attack me. I didn't want to be on my own. I didn't want to have to deal with Ben's shit. I didn't want to be anywhere near Spiridon.

I pull the book from my waistband and rap on the door.

Updated: 16/04/2022

*If you look up Ozera in the dictionary you will find the definition of a narcissist.

Thank you all for being such loyal readers :D I was supposed to upload this before my holiday and when I got back yesterday 3,000 words just seemed to add on haha.

I know my updating is frustrating, I'm sorry. I really am, it stresses me out to. Just know I'm not going to abandon this story and I will actively try and work on quicker updates.

xxx