RPOV
I am terrified. I'm as terrified as I was the night I met the Strigoi and Dimitri. Every time a pair of eyes grazes over me it's the same sensation I had when I was being chased, being hunted. But at least in the woods I knew what was wanted was my blood.
Here I had no idea.
"Adrian! I heard you were slinking around." A very pretty red head shouts as soon as we step over the threshold. Adrian had just reassured me about how low key this would be because people just wanted to 'chill and unwind'. I had started to believe him.
The red-haired girl was standing with two other girls in the middle dorm lounge, which is just like a large living room but with a lot more seats and desks, but now she'd broken away and was walking toward us, eyes trained on Adrian like he were chocolate.
There are thirteen people in this room, seven boys and six girls. More people than I'd ever been in close quarters with. Fourteen if you include Adrian. Speaking of which, he's grinning at the girl coming toward us and not doing what he should be doing which is telling me to calm the hell down.
That's okay Adrian, you just ignore me. That's okay because everything is okay. Nothing has happened. No reason to freak out. Everybody's only looking at us. Calm the hell down. Be normal or at best average. Be average.
Yes, average.
"Astrid." Adrian greets when she's close enough. But she keeps coming and suddenly she's pressed up against him with one arm around his neck and I have to step back. The whole room is watching them.
Astrid pulls away but leaves one hand on his shoulder. "And I do not slink. I sashay."
She doesn't look at me or make any indication that I'm more than a piece of furniture. That brought back anxiety-ridden memories.
Thankfully Adrian seems to remember he's dragged me here. "Astrid, Rose. Rose this is Astrid. Her reputation would have preceded her if you more familiar with… well schools."
Astrid looks confused but instead picks up on his teasing. "Cheap gossip baby. I would think you knew better."
"I get told that far too often. You would think people would realise I really don't know any better." Adrian says and she laughs.
I feel like a spare part Adrian didn't need to bring with him. I could have stayed with in the room with his clothes.
"I think this place needs our reputations right now." Astrid whispers and takes a sip from her glass.
Adrian hums in agreement but says, "Unfortunately I've a morally, ethically representative image to uphold."
Astrid considers that. "Vodka?"
"I was wondering when you'd offer."
She walks away and her hips are moving like Rachael's had when she wanted Dimitri to notice. But the difference is Adrian does notice. I feel like I'm watching a TV show or how I imagined a play to be. A real-life experience of how boys and girl talk to one and other. How they dance along the danger lines like a game of hopscotch. I look around the room and I can't help but overthink the body language.
Watching Gossip Girl, it left me with a lot of questions and anxiety. Did everything have to have this charged undertone? Why did Blair and Chuck have such a carnal draw to each other? Why did Blair…why did Blair seem to enjoy it when Chuck is a shadow of what I have nightmares about.
Astrid pours a dribble of what looks to be water into a tumbler and then adds some ice. She hands it to Adrian. He doesn't seem to mind that she's been stingy with his drink even though there's a massive bottle of it on the table. I'm about to tactfully ask him why she's done that but then he's clapped on the shoulder by a boy and turns away from me.
"And what about you?" Astrid asks and she's smirking like she's said something funny.
I don't like this girl.
"What about me?" The backbone behind my voice surprises me.
She raises her glass and tilts it. "Drink?"
I only recognise the bottle of Coke on the table. Every other drink is in large glass bottles of various colours, from regal ambers to bright green. It suddenly clicks its alcohol.
I try to hold that backbone. "I'm not thirsty. Thank you."
Her gaze runs the length of me. "So what are we to do with you?"
I'm saved from answering as a weight settles around my shoulders. "Rose isn't like us. She's a good girl." Adrian says.
"I haven't met one of those in a while." The boy says, leaning around Adrian to smile at me. It doesn't quite reach his eyes and I realise I've see him before. He'd been inside the church and I could see behind his eyes that he was still there.
"That's because there's no such thing." Astrid replies. She lifts her cup and drains the entire thing. "There is only the bad and the ignorant."
"So that's what kind of party this is. A prolonged wake." Adrian says grimly.
"No, no it's not." The other boy says with resolution and takes Astrid glass from her. He starts refilling it and another glass. "No death. Not tonight."
"What else is there to talk about?" Astrid asks.
He hesitates and then, as if the cosmic joke is hitting a new curve, he turns to me. "You. Tell us about you."
Oh, I was going to throw Adrian's clothes on the fire especially as he's being absolutely no help whatsoever right now. "I'm… I'm not that interesting."
"You came with Lord Dashkov," Astrid says. "I saw you with him in the marble hall."
"Rose's brother is his Guardian." Adrian supplies, grinning at me like he'd opened the door open for me to enter the conversation.
"And is it, bring-your-little-sister-to-work day?" Astrid asks sweetly.
They're all looking at me, Adrian encouragingly and the other two expectant.
"Sort of." I venture. After Spiridon blowing up at me about the lie I told, I opt to tell the truth the best I can. "I've never seen much of the world and being here is supposed to help me understand."
Astrid snorts. It makes her pretty face unattractive. "Understand this, it's going to hell little one."
"Stop calling me little."
She grins and she's as ugly as Mistress Ozera. "But you are little."
"Petite is the word you're looking for." Adrian chips in.
She opens her mouth and I beat her too it. I think about how Natalie wouldn't let anyone make her feel like this but I try to imagine how Lissa would handle it. "Not, if she wants to continue to be bitchy."
Astrid looks surprised and then she laughs which distracts everyone enough so they don't notice how red I'm going. Or that I nearly joked on the term 'bitchy'.
Okay, that was about 70% Natalie and 30% Lissa.
"Very good. I like you." She says and turns back to the drinks.
Adrian gives me a playful nudge with his elbow and I almost shove him back with the intent to put him through a wall.
"Certainly a Dhampir anyway." The other boy says. "Even if you are little."
"To the feisty little Dhampir." Astrid announces, turning back to us and pressing a drink into my hands.
"There's a ring to that." Adrian smirks. They all take a drink and, mostly because Astrid is watching over her cup, I raise mine to my lips and take a sip.
It takes everything I have not to react or retch. It was like something in it had gone off and become diluted fire and garbage with an under taste of cola. How did they drink this stuff? No wonder Mistress Ozera became crazed with anger.
"Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone." Astrid says walking back toward the couches but passing Adrian she runs her fingers over his chest.
I take advantage of having her back turned to pass him my drink. I didn't particularly like Astrid but I didn't want her to think less of me or something. I'm not sure why. Thankfully Adrian doesn't comment and drains it.
"Don't worry, we won't stay long." He says. "Go on over. I'll bring you another drink. Just plain ol' carbonated sugar."
I don't think I've ever felt more awkward in my life than I do approaching the cluster on the couches. But nobody pays attention to me so now I'm just stood awkwardly as they all talk away in Estonian.
Why am I here again?
When Adrian appears at my elbow their attention switches to him. I take my drink grateful to have something to do with my hands.
"I heard a rumour." A girl who had been whispering to Astrid begins. Her accent is as thick as her eyeliner. "That you are going to Lehigh University."
Adrian doesn't seem fazed that everyone's attention is now on him, that conversation has stopped in his honour. No, he seems rather pleased. "Do you believe every rumour you hear?"
"If I did then I would think it impossible for you to get in to such a school. Especially after the incident with the German substitute teacher."
Adrian touches the glass rim to his lips and looks up from under his lashes. "She was Latino actually."
The girl looks delightfully shocked whilst the rest of the group laugh and swarm him with questions. He doesn't pick at any but jerks his chin at one boy lounging on the end of the nearest couch. "Give the lady a seat?"
When is a question not a question?
The boy moves before I cannot protest and Adrian nudges me toward the vacated spot. He perches on the arm. Now the others, girls in particular, are sparing me second looks.
"Adrian's little friend is with Lord Dashkov's party." Astrid decides to inform everyone from where she's perched between two other girls. "This is Rose." I don't have Adrian's talent with attention. I take a drink. "Lord Dashkov seems to be allowing his staff family trips."
"Are you doing your Guardian exams?" One boy asks me.
"No."
"She's hardly old enough." The racoon says.
"I'm eighteen."
"Were you starved of Vitamin D?" Astrid grins. Impressions form in the cup under my fingers. "Where is it your from anyway?"
"Speaking of rumours." Adrian says, taking the reins again. "I heard that people were dropping out of here before the attack. Joining some crazy vigilante group."
There's a collective noise that would accompany eye-rolling and laughs.
Astrid, the groups' mouth piece, says, "Just one stupid boy. Guardian Tanner brought him back. No one would have known he'd gone if he hadn't started shouting in the hall when Tanner was walking him in."
"Oh?" Adrian prompts.
Astrid looks to be thinking, her delicate features screwed up. "I can't quite recall exactly… Joel you were there weren't you?"
Joel turns out to be the boy that had been standing with us by the table. He seems less than happy with the topic of conversation which is a turn around to how he'd seemed earlier. "Yes, well… he was accusing Tanner of being a hypocrite and that he was ready or something."
"Ready for what?" Adrian asks.
Joel shrugs. "Who knows? To be a Guardian, to get out there and fight? I didn't really know him."
"I did." A Dhampir boy says. I hadn't noticed him before which was quite strange considering he is rather large. Thick arms with bulking muscle sprouted from broad shoulders. Even sitting I could tell he was tall. He's occupying a single a chair just outside the circle which is probably why I hadn't noticed him sooner. However now I do notice he is one of only three Dhampirs in the room. The other is a blonde girl with red line running from her left temple to the tip of her cheekbone, a shallow wound that would have bled a lot because head lacerations always do. It would heal up nicely but she'd be left with scar. I can't help but wonder how she got it. Did a strigoi leave that? "He was in my combat class. He wasn't crazy."
"He ran away from a school that is surrounded by forest and mountains. That isn't crazy?" Astrid returns and the girls on either side smirk.
Despite his large size the Dhampir boy looks uncomfortable. "I just meant he never seemed crazy."
"What's your name?" I ask, cutting off whatever remark was to come out of Astrid's mouth.
"Karl." He says with a small smile. I don't know why I asked but it seemed important to see him in this group of Moroi. To make sure he knew he was seen.
"So Karl, Joel, this guy wasn't trying to con you into joining a cult then?" Adrian asks. His glass is nearly empty again.
They exchange a look as they shake their heads.
"Like I said, I didn't know him. I just heard him when he was shouting at Tanner." Joel says. "He was ready. Tanner was a hypocrite for holding him back."
"Although there was a combat session which Tanner was leading, it was a real big deal because Tanner never came to training, and he was real adamant about taking him on one on one when we were paired up." Karl recalls and reaches for another beer.
"I'm sorry, who is Tanner exactly?" Adrian asks.
Karl's face turns sullen and the blonde Dhampir girl touches her cheek, seemingly without realising. Astrid on the other hand, looks bored.
"Tanner was the head Guardian here." Karl explains quietly. "He ran things pretty tightly. You could tell the other Guardians really respected him. He walked into room and you were ready to follow him anywhere."
"Well nobody followed him when he really needed them to, did they?" Astrid says, regarding her nails.
Her words have an instant effect, on Karl especially, as he goes stiff. Even Joel and a few other of the Moroi look uncomfortable but it's the Dhampir girl that says, "How dare you."
Astrid looks at her un-phased and I'm annoyed I ever cared about what she thought. Her and her Moroi arrogance and stupid shiny hair. "How dare I what?"
The girl's voice is steel. "Guardian Tanner is the reason this whole school wasn't slaughtered. The reason you can still sit there and worry about your split ends and stupid dance society."
"Okay, I think we should – " Adrian starts, sitting up straighter but no one was listening to him now. He no longer held the room.
"If he were so great then they wouldn't have gotten in." Astrid snaps back, the pretty curtain falling off her face to reveal something raw.
"We all know Levandi used to boast about how this place was a standing fortress. He basically taunted the Strigoi." Karl fires back. "He invited a challenge."
"Well how should that matter?" Racoon demands as she slides to the edge of her seat. "You're supposed to protect us no matter how big the threat is."
"Helena." Joel says with an appeasing/exasperated edge. "You're being unfair."
"It's what their job is supposed to be!"
"At the end of the day it should have been just another training exercise." Astrid says. "The Dhampirs should have handled it."
To my horror, Karl actually hangs his head, and that's when I can't hold back the flame that had been spreading through me.
"You are one stupid, arrogant Moroi brat." I say quietly but it carries.
Astrid's eyes widen in surprise to then narrow. "What did you just say to me?"
In my peripheral vision Adrian tenses and I don't care if I embarrass him, I don't care if I embarrass myself. There's just fire in my body and no more room to tolerate bullying.
I glare back at her and clench my hands so they don't shake. "You have no idea what they're like. How strong they are or how mind-numbingly terrifying it is when they are pressed right up against you and their breath is on your face. Do you know?"
She doesn't say anything but she's getting redder, it's not a good look for her as it clashes with her hair. And I know that she's not feeling any degree of shame but anger because how dare I, a little Dhampir girl challenge her?
"Do you?" Karl asks. I look away from Astrid and I'm greeted by awe. Then I realise everyone is looking at me with expressions in the spectrum of disbelief.
That flame threatens to retreat but I grip it. "Yes. And the only reason I'm alive is because a Guardian found me and literally slammed himself it. Otherwise I'd be dead and, as much as that Guardian is skilled and brilliant I know it wasn't easy for him to kill it. They aren't easy to kill."
"Well duh." Astrid says in one short, dull breath.
"I knew they wouldn't be easy to kill." Karl says, his fingers shredding the paper on the bottle. "That's common sense but … I still wasn't prepared. I don't think, I don't know how I ever could have been. I froze."
I realise now that his shoulders are laden with guilt. Joel reaches out and grips one, seeming to push Karl up a little straighter. "So did I. We all did."
"But Guardians are not supposed to." Astrid counters.
"Exactly." Helena says.
Karl looks utterly deflated but Joel's touch doesn't leave his shoulder. "He isn't a Guardian though. Not yet."
"Perhaps he doesn't deserve to be."
"And perhaps you don't deserve to have the protection of one." I snap.
I comprehend Astrid is suddenly standing, bearing over the short table with her fangs out. She snarls something but I don't hear it because as she does my drink explodes in my hands. It is a terrible sensation to have cola up inside your nose and even worse when it all streams out. I'm coughing and spluttering, and for some unknown reason I can't open my eyes.
Someone is shoving tissues into my hand and pressing one to my face and among all the raised voices a girl is loudest, yelling but not in Estonian. It's clearly Astrid and I anticipate a blow. I scramble back on the couch and try to get a grip of myself.
I blow into the tissue which makes it easier to pry my eyes open enough to see that Adrian has Astrid by the arms a little bit away and is talking softly to her. She doesn't look outraged even though I'm positive she's the one that had been screaming. She actually looks quite… entranced with whatever he is saying. He touches her face with one finger and winks. He gives her a gentle nudge toward Helena who is by her side and who does look murderous. She catches me looking and her already ringed black eyes narrow, so she looks more rodent-like than ever. I can't help but smirk.
"Are you trying to get your ass kicked?"
I look up to find Karl hovering over me. The Moroi boy beside me is looking rather uncomfortable to have someone of Karl's size hulking over us, in fact he was pressing into the girl at the other end as if it would help him get away.
"I don't think she could kick a tin if you put in front of her."
Karl smirks. "Maybe not but her nails are pretty sharp."
"Would she risk breaking one?" The Moroi girl, the one being squished, pipes up. "Erik, will you get off me? I don't play for your team."
The boy mutters an apology and glances up at Karl as he moves back…which puts him in direct level with Karl's crotch. Karl realises this and steps back over the table back to his previous seat. The boy beside me sighs as the girl on his other side laughs with the blonde Dhampir.
I frown and it has nothing to do with fizzing in my nose and back of my throat. "Where did Adrian go?"
"Trying to sweet talk Astrid into another activity bar drowning you I suspect." The blonde Dhampir smiles, it instantly makes the line on her face irrelevant as there is light everywhere else. "Thank you for that though."
"Uh, you're welcome?"
"I'm definitely in a better mood." Joel announces, returning to our small crowd with large bottle with clear liquid and small mutli-coloured plastic thimble cups. He sets them out and starts pouring. "But let's stay clear of sensitive topics for now, okay?"
They all mutter in agreement and each takes one of the plastic cups. Joel nudges one toward me and without thinking about it I take it, too preoccupied with Adrian re-entering the room.
"Well that's the extent of my superhero work done for the year." He declares when he reaches us. He takes the bottle from Joel. "What are we toasting? Me?"
"I didn't have anything in mind."
"My kinda guy, doing shots for no reason, good. But just for varieties sake lets toast to me, eh?"
"Um, why?" The guy beside me asks.
Adrian looks at him like he's an idiot. "Because I'm wonderful."
"Because he got Astrid to leave the room?" The blonde suggests. I wish I knew her name.
"I'd rather toast Rose if we're going down that road." Karl says.
"Yes, but my hair though." Adrian points to himself.
"Can we just drink please?" Joel says.
"To my hair!" Adrian declares as everyone lifts the thimble to their lips. I'm too caught up in the moment and too confused to second guess it so I copy them.
Oh. Holy. Shit.
The only thing I can do is spit it out but spit it where? I have to swallow so I do and holy god it's like fire in my insides. This time I do make a noise between retching and a car engine. Nobody seems to care. Everybody else's faces are screwed up our tinged in disgust but no one seems to be panicking that their insides might be melting away. No one else seems to be looking for a water source. Adrian seems to gauge my crisis and passes me his glass and I drink it because nothing could be worse.
WRONG.
IT IS SO MUCH WORSE.
I pass it back to him shaking my head and burying my face between my knees. Oh God, oh god, oh god.
Now there is laughter around my head. What hell, what actual hell is this?
"Here, Rose." Joel's voice. He wasn't nice. I thought he was but he initiated this. I'll tell Natalie about him. I'm pulled up by my shoulder and there he is, holding out a drink to me.
"Is it poison?"
He grins. "No, it's safe I promise."
I glare at him and take it. He collapses into the opposite couch. I look up at Adrian who's pouring the content of the bottle into his glass. Is he insane?
When he's done he clicks his fingers at the boy beside me. "Let me sit there won't you? Rose needs a bodyguard."
Well that's rude….on a few levels. But within moments the guy has gone, the girl too, and Adrian is in his place.
I hold up my drink. "This hasn't got anything in it?"
"Unfortunately." He murmurs, extending his arm along the back of the couch.
"If you poison me again I will tell Natalie." I warn and I mean it. It seems entirely possible that I could call her and she would yell at him for me. I'm so grateful for her and Lissa.
"A pretty hard core threat. I wouldn't play your hand." He says, the smell of cloves pressing up against me.
My face is very warm. I dare to take a drink and thankfully there seems to be nothing awful in it.
"So I'm guessing not going to school means there's no late-night school parties to partake in and or rules to break. Like, drinking, smoking etc."
"Etc is my favourite." Karl calls across to us and I don't even know why but I'm grinning hugely. That's when the pieces fall together. I feel like I had when Mary had made me drink wine. I feel steady yet free, relaxed yet on edge, but my anxiety has dulled a great deal. Or maybe that was just due to Astrid no longer being here and Adrian now being very close.
"You smell nice." I tell him.
He leans in and I tense, I doubted that would ever stop happening no matter how much alcohol I had. He leans back a fraction and I can see the gold flecks in the green. "So do you."
I grin. "I do, don't I?"
He laughs.
"I'm going to take that exchange as a yes to my earlier question." He says before he takes a drink. I have so many questions and so many thoughts that I don't know which to pluck out because right now I felt like I could ask almost anything.
"No, I don't smoke or drink. But I have drunk a little bit before. It helped when I was scared." There's tingling under my skin that's quite nice. Somehow it reminds me of Dimitri. Strange.
Adrian frowns. "Why were you scared?"
There was no panic about the truth. He would only know if I told him but I was keeping the truth locked away. I could do that. I had the power to. "It doesn't matter now. I'm not scared about things now."
Worry lingers on his features and he opens his mouth to speak but thinks better of it so I smile and take a drink of my soda.
"Are you going to college with Andre?" I ask, remembering what Victor had said.
Adrian's contemplative look is chased away with a roll of his eyes. "I'm going whether I want to or not. I don't have a choice."
"Don't you don't want to go?"
"I never really thought about it until recently. It was always a sure thing." He takes a drink and then looks up at me from under his lashes. He is a very pretty boy, even by Moroi standards. "No one ever asked."
"I've been told I need to ask more questions." I say proudly.
His head lolls back against his arm as he watches me. "You are a genuine little find aren't you? I feel like I could tell you anything, how dangerous."
I'm not sure what to say so I take a drink.
"Did you meet Andre when they were on vacation?" He asks.
"No, when they got back. I've only met him once." I try not to cringe at the memory.
"That explains the lack of reaction. Usually when girls have met Andre they're either swooning or … cursing."
What was it Ben had said once? You are the company you keep and from everything I've been able to gather so far Adrian and Andre are friends. The girls at this school had reacted to Adrian, Astrid had… was that why she showed an instant dislike to me? I revaluate how close together we are on the couch. How it would look to everyone else. I shimmy back against the arm, it isn't a lot of distance but it mattered. I wasn't in the circle of his arm anymore at least.
What's strange is… a small part of me felt smug about Astrid or what this might have looked like but it isn't what it looks like and I'm glad because I have no concept of how to handle that.
"Astrid was swooning over you." I venture.
"She's only human. So that means you've been staying with your brother since June right?"
"Um, I guess."
"He'd have to live close to Victor though right? Must be hard on him, yano, making sure you're okay and working."
"No, it's not hard on Ben. I try not to get in the way. We live with Victor."
"Oh yeah, yeah. That makes a lot more sense. But why don't you go to school with Natalie and Lissa?"
I tell the one truth I'm able to. "I don't want to."
He seems surprised. "Why? I mean, I get that you're shy and new to a lot of this but you're handling yourself pretty well."
I shrug. "I'm not ready for the world yet."
He nods slowly. Why was he looking at me like that?
"Have you been to court?"
"No."
"But Victor was there only a few weeks ago…when all this happened."
I start to feel like I'm being tangled up in this conversation. "I stayed home with Natalie."
"With your brother?"
"Um, no. Another Guardian.
"Ah. It was pantomime anyway, you're lucky." He takes a drink and looks around at the others which means he doesn't see how I'm looking at him.
There was something strange going on, or at least it felt that way. I'm most likely being paranoid but I start thinking I should excuse myself and get back before someone could find me gone. I would really hate to give Spiridon another reason to yell at me.
"Do you spend a lot of time at Court?" I ask, genuinely curious about the place. I try to picture him in the broacher's pictures Ben gave me.
He turns back to me. "Only when I'm trying to earn brownie points. Otherwise, I try to stay out of things."
"Brownie points?"
He smiles and looks down at his glass. "I have a habit of pissing my parents off."
I consider that and then lean closer so I'm not overheard. "Is that why you're here with your father? To earn brownie points?"
He looks back at me sheepishly. "When you put it like that I sound like an asshole."
I couldn't argue against that even though a part of me wants to make him feel better. "What did you do to annoy him? Your dad."
He sighs and looks away. "Not a hell of a lot this time actually. Merely went to Greece and missed the enrolment date for college."
"Oh…" I can't think what to say and the tingling is starting to fade. What excuse could I give to leave?
Adrian suddenly touches my wrist and there's an earnestness in his eyes that alarms me. "I'm glad you came. I know I've said it before but it's nice having someone different to talk to. Not just this." Between us, he gives a subtle wave to the rest of the room.
"What's 'this'?" I ask quietly so no one overhears, although it's in vain because someone's turned on music. "They don't seem so bad."
Adrian takes a long drink. "Yeah but, this is your first impression of it. Astrid, a lot of people are like her…the same way of thinking. The same shallow conversations, the same people even though they don't realise they're the same. You're not like them."
No, I wasn't and I knew why but why did he. "What do you mean?"
He grins. "Well, you basically told Astrid she was a stuck up bitch and she nearly drowned you. So there's that." I don't think that's what I meant to tell her. "And you look at everything differently, like it's all new. I get that it is but … I'm not articulating this well. I like you. That's it."
I feel myself smiling. Not just on my face but deep inside. "You're okay too."
He laughs and around his eyes crinkle. "Making me work for it. That's different."
I sit up straighter. "You're used to having everyone like you, aren't you? And getting your own way, getting whatever you want really."
His smile falters. "I wouldn't say that."
"I would. You're Moroi. You come first."
"Are we about to argue? I don't waste patron so you don't have to worry about another shower."
My heart starts to beat faster. I'm saying things that I often felt angry about but I wasn't angry now. This was just … speaking my mind and It's great because Adrian doesn't seem angry either, in fact, he's relaxed. I couldn't say these things to Lissa or Natalie because I think it would hurt their feelings but Adrian is different. I got the sense that he knew he was spoiled no matter how much he tried to joke.
"You said before you haven't been around Dhampirs much, maybe you should change that. Be around people different to um, Andre." And other spoiled Moroi kids. "Karl seems like a good guy, and so does Joel and they get along."
He squints at me. "Are you saying you want to be my Dhampir bestie?"
Could I be a friend to Adrian? Could we be when he was so obviously used to Moroi company and people accommodating to him? How long before he grew bored of that? Or he said something that made me snap at him. But then again, how long was I really going to be in his life?
"I can be the best Dhampir you know, sure." I tell him.
He chuckles. "I think you just might be."
"You're not the best Moroi I know though." I say softly.
He doesn't look offended, rather his expression turns thoughtful. "I don't doubt that."
"Hang on, am I the only Dhampir you know?"
"No. I met Goliath earlier."
I laugh and decide on a new topic. "Astrid's element is water then?"
His head snaps toward me in mock surprise. "What gave that away?"
I roll my eyes. "What's yours? Your element."
He looks away. "A little bit of everything."
"All Moroi can control a bit of everything."
"Yes but…" The air around me stirs and strands of hair tickle my cheek. I brush them away and then blink. In front of my face is a glistening bubble, the colour of cola. Past it Adrian is smirking and holding up his fingers. I look down at my cup which now has less in it. "I'm much better at everything."
I touch it with the tip of my finger but it doesn't burst. "Cool."
He hums and then says, "Open up."
Feeling ridiculous I open my mouth and the bubble moves forward, soon I'm cross-eyed. Cola bursts on my tongue in a sparkling fizz.
"Jack of all trades." He murmurs.
"You're like Lissa." I say, wiping a stray droplet from my knee. "She doesn't just have one specialised either."
He perks up. "Andre's little sister?"
I nod. Adrian brings his knee up between us so he's facing me. "And has she ever shown you anything… different? Anything impressive?"
"Um…" Lissa is amazing but I couldn't think of anything like making soda float. "No, she hasn't." He looks disappointed and I feel the need to defend her. "She is impressive. She impresses me all the time. It's like she knows what you're thinking or feeling without having to say it. I feel like an open book around her which is strange because I make sure I'm never open."
"Yes… I can see that." He murmurs but he's looking at me. He's looking above me. I self-consciously run a hand over my hair and he snaps out of it. "Has she ever told you… or said something about auras or anything?"
"What's that?"
He glances around but nobody is paying us attention. A few looks from people that might suggest we're mentioned in their conversation but not enough to really bother me.
"Aura's are related to somebody's essence. Essentially it's who they are, like a symbol of their nature. Aura's are coloured."
"Okay…"
She smiles delicately. "You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"
"Not really, no. But tell me. How do you see these auras?"
He pauses and takes a drink. I try not to pout with impatience. "Aura's aren't immediately visual." He says casually. "They're just imaginary. It's just what you imagine someone's essence to be like. You hate someone? Their essence is something putrid."
"Huh." Well, that's a let-down. "Why do you think Lissa would tell me something like that?"
He shrugs and takes another drink. It's easy to read, it's easy to tell he's being too casual and trying to hide something. I almost feel like he's somehow pulling away.
"What do you think mine is? If you say puke then I'm leaving."
"I don't know. You need to really have a grasp on people in order to say. It's more about how well you know their personality, hypothetically speaking."
"Oh come on, just by how well you know me now. What colours have I got?" He really doesn't seem interested anymore. He reaches for the alcohol bottle with a shrug. "I think you've got purple in yours."
"Oh?" He says as he pours. "Why?"
I have no idea. I'm playing the game. "Well… purples a royal colour and your Moroi."
"How profound." He says dryly, settling back against the couch with filled glass. I'd noticed that when other people poured their drinks they usually added soda but Adrian didn't. He filled the glass full of alcohol. I wonder if I should be worried about how much he's drunk.
"Let me finish. Your royal Moroi yes, but you like to have people's attention and be listened to which shows a degree of royalty right? And you like your things, your expensive clothes and your shoes are very shiny. And then there's your hair."
"My hair?" He raises an eyebrow.
"You're obsessed with it."
"That's because it's flawless."
I laugh and finally, he smiles too. "So, am I getting it right?"
He begrudgingly nods. "Is purple my only colour?"
I go through every colour I can think of and apply it to him. It's hard though because I knew purple was associated with royalty because of books but I didn't know what other colours actually meant or anything. I could only go with gut feeling. "Gold… and green."
He cocks his head. "Why?"
I feel like I was being tested for something I know nothing about. "I don't want you to make a smart remark about this otherwise I won't speak to you again but… gold because there's something different about you. Something I can't place… something special. I think it's something you try to hide behind your jokes. I don't know. And green? Well, you have nice eyes."
Through my ramble, he'd been absorbed but at the comment about his eyes, he cracks up. I think I've passed.
I drain the last of my soda as he takes a huge drink too. The music has gotten louder which means he has to lean in so I can hear him properly.
"Do you want to know yours?" He asks sounding serious.
Something twists in my gut. "Okay."
He looks at me intently and I try not to fidget. "A lot of blues, indigo's and purples. All merged and swirling. They spike brighter in places. You have gold shimmers too but mostly silver laces but underneath it all…. Underneath it all is dark. Not quite black but dark. It's where you're hiding things."
I'm frozen and there's something in his eyes that tells me he's not guessing the way I had. That he knows I'm hiding a lot.
"I need to leave." I whisper.
He immediately takes my wrist. "Rose." I shouldn't look at him but I do and I get stuck there. I get stuck in the green and this weird sensation rushes through me, like I'd been here before but it was a different shade of green pulling me in. "Relax Rose, just forget what I said. About auras, the whole thing. Okay?"
"Okay." I feel the anxiety leave me, drifting away with thoughts I no longer have. There's just Adrian holding my wrist and the gold in his eyes seems to dance.
He looks pensive and then ashamed when he says, "Rose, why is Victor Dashkov really here?"
He knew why. "To pay his respects and make everyone feel like they have somebody who is trying to help."
"You haven't heard him talk about the age vote, have you? About getting the headmaster on his side?"
"No."
"Does he have any other motives for being here?" Adrian asks.
My mind had been playing with memories of Victor's speech and the things I'd heard about the attack. About the girl in the hall crying and how many lilies had decorated the halls. But at this question my mind fogs, like I was trying to see something through frosted glass, hear things underwater. "N-no."
Adrian's fingers press on my wrist and he leans in, the gold pulsing in the green. "Think harder."
"I can't …" Snippets of conversation, a name I can't recall … blood… bodies… someone telling secrets. Dimitri's handsome face pale with darker smudges under his eyes. And suddenly, I don't want to see past the fog or hear what it clouds. "No."
The green holds me for a beat longer and then Adrian's voice comes through, "Close your eyes and when you open them forget I asked you about Victor, about auras, you're having a nice time."
My eyes close and I'm suspended in a silent place until noise slices through. I jump as someone laughs loudly and I look up to see Karl balancing on the back of the opposite couch as the blonde girl takes a photograph.
I turn to Adrian. "Sorry, what were we talking about?"
He's rubbing his temple. "You told me my hair was fabulous and I was overcome by how true that is."
"Wasn't there something after that?" I try to think back but I can only remember joking with him about being friends. I don't feel like I've just been joking.
"You clarified my eyes are green, not the colour of the ocean in the Maldives like I'd been led to believe."
I'm more confused than ever. When had I said that? "Where's the Maldives?"
"Not a bloody clue. South. Another soda?"
"Um, sure. Thank you."
He gets up and almost staggers into the table but rights himself at the last moment. It's now I consider how much alcohol he's had. Looking around it's clear most of the other students have drunk their fair share too. When we'd arrived the room had had a sombre undertone despite their best efforts to hide it but now, pop music is playing and there is laughter in the air. The sadness is concealed.
"Here we are. One virgin long-island ice tea and one neat patron." Adrian declares, having come back with the drinks. He steps around me and sits back down.
"Thank you." I take my soda from him and raise it to my lips when the sight of him draining half his glass stops me.
I look at everyone else and it makes me feel like a spare part again. I'm about to say something to Adrian about it but he's been pulled into a conversation with Joel and it's not in English either. I sip my drink. Somehow I can feel my voice getting smaller in my throat and I feel a bit strange like I've forgotten something. Maybe it's just a sign I should be getting back. Surely their dinner would be over soon. Oh god, what if they knew I wasn't in my room.
I tap Adrian's shoulder. "I think I'm going to go now."
"What? Why? I thought you were having a nice time."
"I was but I don't want my brother to check the room and find I'm not there."
Adrian asks the room at large what the time is and someone answers him. "It's still early. Stay a little longer and I'll walk you back."
A massive part of me wants to cave and concede but I dig my heels in and push against it. I couldn't get into more trouble. I couldn't. I shake my head. "You don't have to walk me. I'll find the way. Thank you for bringing me though."
I move to stand but he takes my wrist and something in me makes me yank it back.
"Please Rose, please stay." His green eyes are wide. "I don't want to go back to my dad just yet."
"So stay."
He looks lost and I'm starting to get a bit concerned. "If I stay by myself I know I'll get out of control but if I go back now then I have to listen to him for a few more hours and I can't stand that either. Please stay, just a little longer. Please. You're not drinking so your brother can't get that angry right? You're just hanging out. "
"I guess…" I sink back down onto the couch and the look on his face almost makes it worth it. Ben had told me I could make friends. But that was before Spiridon had yelled at me. Screw him.
I hold up my finger. "One more hour. That's it."
"Yes mam." He grins.
"Unless Astrid comes back and throws me out." I mutter.
"Where did she go anyway?" Joel asks, having overheard when reaching for the alcohol bottle.
"Ah, she saw it fit to go and catch up on her beauty sleep." Adrian says casually.
"Translation." The blonde dhampir says, "She's getting trashed in her room and will probably reappear for round two."
Adrian turns to me. "We'll be gone before that."
"Otherwise I'm using you as a shield."
"Don't worry Rose." Karl says and flexes his arm, "I'll protect you."
"Well, that's embarrassing." Adrian says
Joel's face screws up at Karl. "You just want a valid reason to hit her."
Karl holds up his hands. "I've been waiting since kindergarten. Can't let the opportunity pass me by now."
They all laugh at that.
"How do you know Astrid?" I ask Adrian.
"I know Astrid because Astrid knows Andre." He explains. "Didn't end well. Can't say it will get better if she ends up at Lehigh next year too."
I don't quite know how to pursue that topic without sounding naive or nosy so I let it go and spend the next thirty minutes listening to the rest of them. Some jokes I get and some I don't but it's nice enough just basking in the company. Somewhere along the way, Joel gets upset and Karl has a quiet word with him. They go through two beers before they brighten up.
Unfortunately, I lose track of how many Adrian has had.
"Do you think Victor is a good man?" He suddenly asks me. His eyes have turned a little glassy.
I hesitate and then I admit, "Yes."
"Not just because he's taken you in though, I mean, do you believe what he said today? In the hall."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because he cares about protecting people."
Adrian looks unconvinced.
"He loves Natalie more than anything in this world." I tell him with reverence and with slight envy. "He wants to make sure she'll be safe."
"My dad's backing Victor," Joel says, holding up his bottle. "He thinks it's about time we learned how to use our magic too."
Adrian seems to sober a little. "What?"
Joel tries to pour himself a drink but most of it goes onto the table. "He met Victor at Court a few weeks ago and he said something to him about, oh shit pass me that napkin, about learning how to use magic how to fight. At this point, I don't see how it could hurt."
"You couldn't burn your way out of a paper bag." Karl slurs and Joel aims a kick at him but he just loses his balance so a bit of his drink ends up spaying me.
"Shit. Sorry, Rose." He passes me a bunch of napkins and I take them whilst trying to keep my mouth firmly shut. Beer is in my hair and it's sticky and gross. And it smells.
"Have you heard anything about that?" Adrian asks me as I try and deal with the situation. Urgh, I was going to have to shower when I got back. Why did they drink this stuff?! "Rose? Have you heard –"
"No, Adrian!" Not only was my hair and hands now sticky but the tissue had flaked so there were now red bits in my hair.
"And what does your daddy believe in then, Adrian?" Karl shoots across the table. "Why are you suddenly here?"
Adrian bristles and the atmosphere shifts so noticeable that I stop fussing with my hair.
Adrian shrugs. "We were just travelling back and thought we should stop."
Karl makes a dull, sarcastic hum. "Convenient." He looks between us and then suddenly sits up straighter. "Hang on… did you two only just meet?"
"What's that to you?" Adrian asks at the same time I answer 'yes'.
Karl's lip turns up in what would be a smile if he didn't look so irritated. "So, Nathan Ivashkov's son just happens to strike up a friendship with the weakest link in the Victor Dashkov party. Interesting."
"What are you talking about?" Joel asks.
"Come on, Rose." Adrian stands and the suddenness must cause a head rush because he falters. I get up and take his elbow.
Karl points his finger between Adrian and me as a means of explanation. I'm about to ask him to elaborate when Adrian gives me a shove.
"Thank you for having me." I manage to call around a very now eager to leave Adrian as he steers us toward the doors. Behind his shoulder, I can see Joel's expression snap into understanding as whatever Karl was saying. They both stare after us.
"Yes, it's been wonderful!" Adrian shouts, a little too loudly, before we stumble through the door.
"Are you okay?" I ask him when we're in the hall. He runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath, muttering to himself. "Adrian?"
"I knew I'd do this. Knew it. I'm sorry."
"It's okay…" I'm not sure it is but then again I don't know what else to say. "Let's just go. I think it's been an hour anyway."
He mutters again but I don't hear it and I can't help it, I'm annoyed. I have beer in my hair, Karl and Joel seem to know something I don't, Adrian is drunk and I am probably going to find out if Spiridon uses his spiky hair as a torture device.
I start walking back through the hall, passing a girl and boy who are wrapped around each other in a way that's both embarrassing and nauseating. And yet I end up looking back at them curiously only to really wish I hadn't.
Your tongue belongs in your own mouth, not someone else's.
"I hope that isn't giving you any ideas, Little Dhampir." Adrian says in a tone that I know is joking but I give him such a look that amusement dies on his face.
I walk faster.
Adrian keeps pace with me even though his steps aren't always one after the other but rather a little altered to changing directions. Sometimes he's on my left and then he's on my right. It wasn't helping calm me down.
It's when we reach a corridor I recognise as leading to the stairs to my room that I realise that he'll follow me the whole way back. I round on him and he walks right into me causing us both to crash into one of the double doors which is thankfully closed so we don't end up falling through and hitting the floor but it does mean I hit the door and Adrian hits me.
"Jesus wept." He exclaims and I try to, first work out why my hands are on his waist and how to remove them and secondly what sweet smell is mixed with the cloves. He leans back with his hands braced on either side of my head. "Are you okay?"
I'm about to answer or shove him back, maybe both, when the door next to us flies open.
It's an odd sensation, feeling your face drop in horror.
"Do you know I can say with absolute honesty for the first time in my life, that this is not what it looks like." Adrian very clearly explains for someone that couldn't walk straight.
Dimitri, however, does not look one bit impressed with his explanation.
Updated: 17/04/2022 - The date of publication below has me feeling some type of way.
Original note:
DID I DELIVER OR DID I DELIVER WHEN I SAID I WOULD? D Props to me. And i would like to point out that it is the 02/05/2016 (Not 05/02 because only America does things backwards ;) Jokes.) and not months later. Now, I will see you all in June because I have my last ever Uni assignments due on 19th May and i may or may not be having a breakdown.
I love you all.
PS. Remember you an shoot me questions on twitter/tumblr if you want to :)