RPOV

There's a pause in which Dimitri looks from Adrian's face to my hands on his waist.

I shove Adrian back and he stumbles more than necessary.

"We were just –" I begin.

"I was just –" Adrian starts.

"Dinner is over. Your father is upstairs in Victors suite, Lord Ivashkov. I'm sure he'd be more than pleased for you to join him." Dimitri speaks directly to Adrian and then holds up something I didn't realise he'd been holding. "But perhaps you should but these back on first?"

"Ah, sure." Adrian takes his sweater and jacket from him.

I know this is bad but Dimitri won't look at me so I don't know how bad. Why couldn't it have been Ben? Why couldn't it have been Spiridon? At least if he's yelling I know what he's mad about even if I don't understand fully.

"That really wasn't what it looked like." Adrian says and I give him a look in which to say 'shut up' because I'm not even sure what it was that they both seem to think it looked like. Oh god, I'm confused. Adrian doesn't seem to get this though and decides to carry on. "I was just walking her back up."

Dimitri steps into the corridor so the door shuts behind him with a thud. He towers over us and bears down on Adrian.

"I don't doubt you because if I did then we would be having a very different conversation." Dimitri says quietly and Alec being slammed into a wall plays in my mind.

Adrian is leaning backwards and I step out so I'm between them. "Adrian took me to meet some of his friends, he felt bad I was up there alone." Dimitri is still not looking at me. "Can we go up now? I'm tired."

"I think that would be best." Adrian agrees. "Upstairs, where there are more people…witnesses and the like."

Dimitri rolls his eyes which is astounding because that's pretty close to showing some sort of emotion. He steps back to hold the door open. Now he looks at me. "After you."

I scurry through the door.

"I'd suggest you do put those back on." Dimitri says behind me. "It will make you seem more put together."

I look back to see Adrian's sheepish expression become indignant. He tosses his sweater over one shoulder. "Yano, I think I'm going to go back to my room. I'll catch dad later. See ya, Rose."

And with that he saunters back down the hall without stumbling. How much effort is that costing him and why couldn't he have put it in on the way here?

Dimitri turns back to me and I go stiff. He starts toward the stairs and silently I follow, trying to keep pace as we climb. I don't know what to say and it's driving me mad. We pass Victors room where I can hear men laughing and Victors muffled voice. When we reach my room I reach into my back pocket for my key but Dimitri already has one in the door. I didn't know he had a key but I suppose how else would he have gotten Adrian's clothes?

He steps back and motions me in. Well, it's hardly like I'm going to run away is it? I cross my arms and stalk inside.

"You can wipe that look off your face." He says from behind as the door closes.

What the hell? "What look?"

"The one that says your about to be stubborn and argumentative."

"You're the one that's starting an argument." I point out.

He crosses his arms and I'm suddenly reminded that I am actually in trouble here. He stares and waits and I wonder how long this would go on for if I didn't crack.

"Nobody told me I couldn't leave." I start. "And I wasn't going to but Adrian really wanted me to go."

"I didn't tell you you couldn't jump off the East wall but I'm sure you've enough sense to not do that."

I let that sink in and then I throw up my hands. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't swear."

I glare at him. "I can if I want to."

"Don't swear at me, please." He says sounding infuriatingly calm.

I purse my lips. "Okay."

Dimitri exhales and takes a seat on the couch. I stand firmly in my spot opposite, behind the other couch.

"What I meant was, do you think sensible to go off on your own with a boy you just met and know nothing about? A boy I'd suggested has a reputation." Oh great, throw logic and facts in my face like they're the only factors. I'm about to defend my new friend, who I'm not actually happy with right now, when he continues with, "What if something had happened. What if he really wanted you to do something else?"

"He wouldn't. He didn't. This wasn't like, he's nothing like Alec –"

Dimitri stands so suddenly I jump. "But how would you know that? How would I know that when I came in and found his clothes here? How would I know you weren't somewhere being made to do something you don't want to?"

It takes me a moment to find my words, surprised at his reaction. "Because it's not the same. Adrian and Alec aren't the same –"

"But how would you have known –"

"Because I'm not stupid! And I am sick of everyone treating me like I am."

"I never meant to imply you were but Rose you have to –"

"No. No, I don't. I wasn't told I had to stay in here so when my friend asked me to hang out with him I did. You're the one who should know better. Adrian's not going to… to hurt me. He wouldn't."

Dimitri's lips have become a very thin line. "I'm not talking about rape, Rose. I would never accuse him of that. There are other ways for him to be a bad influence."

I roll my eyes. I start pulling my hair up into a bun and walking toward my bedroom. I didn't want to fight anymore.

"We aren't finished." He says in a way that doesn't leave me room to dispute. I turn back and raise my eyebrows. Dimitri's dark eyes hold me in place. "I am only going to ask you this once and I'm warning you not to lie to me." My stomach drops and I know I'm screwed. "Have you been drinking?"

I don't have it in me to say any more than, "Yes."

He sighs. "Right."

He crosses to the kitchen area and my courage comes back now that I'm not pinned under his gaze. "Not like, a lot. I didn't even mean to. I didn't know what it was, it was a little bit. It was in a small thimble."

"And who give it to you?" He asks flatly and it looks like he's started to make himself a sandwich.

"Joel did but I wasn't paying attention to what it was because they were all talking and –"

"And was Adrian there when you were being plied with alcohol."

"Yes but –"

"But nothing." He snaps.

I stand there awkwardly trying to figure out what I should say as he slices the sandwich in half and plates it. He comes toward me and holds it out and dumbly I take it.

"He didn't make me drink it." I say lamely and try to ignore the fact that Adrian did give me his drink when my throat was on fire. But that didn't count he thought he was helping.

"I don't care." Dimitri responds flatly. "He should know better and I'm sure he did. I'm sure he knew you weren't familiar with anything happening seeing you've been home-schooled for years." There's no arguing against that and he knows it. "Sit down and eat that."

I go to the couch and watch him suspiciously as he follows. "Why have you made me a sandwich if I'm in trouble?" I didn't see him put anything bad in there or spit in it.

"It'll soak up whatever you've drank ad any excuse to get you to eat more isn't a bad thing."

I really have the urge to hold up my middle finger again but I somehow think he wouldn't find that as funny as Spiridon did. I'm sick of being told how small I am. What had Adrian called me? A rake.

"You're chewing rather angrily."

I glare at him and swallow. "I'm sorry, how do I chew happily?"

The barest hint of a smile touches his lips. I look away because I wasn't finished being annoyed even though I'm not entirely sure I'm allowed to be. We sit in silence, me chewing angrily and him looking thoughtfully into space.

When I've finished the first half I decide to ask, "Am I in trouble?"

He comes back to reality. "That depends. Do you intend to sneak off without leaving a note or telling anyone and engage in underage-drinking?"

He is so annoying. "No."

"Then no, you're not."

Well that's a relief. I start munching on the other half.

"So, did you have a nice time?"

"What?"

His expression has warmed to being possibly described as mild so I don't think he's being sarcastic. "At the party? I assume it was a dorm party."

"It was okay. I, uh, got into a bit of an argument with a girl."

"Oh?" Now he is smiling.

"Yeah, they were talking about the attack here and she was saying that Dhampirs should have done their job and it was basically their fault. She made Karl, that's a boy Dhampir boy who was there, feel guilty for not fighting."

"That's not right." He murmurs looking troubled.

"No, so I told her maybe she didn't deserve to have a Guardian and that's when it went…wrong."

"Wrong?" He prods.

"Yeah, she made my drink explode." He laughs and the noise surprises me, it always does because he so rarely did. I take the opportunity to gain Adrian some points. "But Adrian made her calm down and leave. I also think Karl blocked her from getting to me but I'm not sure."

"Dispute the circumstances I'm glad you had a nice time."

He sounds like he means it and I relax a little more. "I did. I'm glad I went and I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone."

"You're forgiven."

"Is Victor angry?"

"He doesn't know and I think we should keep it that way."

Fine by me.

"What did you and Adrian talk about?" He asks as I polish of the last bite. He makes good sandwiches.

I shrug and reach for the water bottle he's imposed on me too. "A lot of things." The look on his face conveys there's more to this than just general curiosity. "Why?"

"You know how important it is that you keep your cover."

Of course that was why he was asking. For an insane moment, a quarter of a moment really, I thought he might be a little bit jealous because today I'd made a new friend, someone who brought out a part of me I didn't know existed. I thought he'd maybe have been jealous, just a little bit, like I was when I'd hear him on the phone talking to someone, someone who brought out a side to him that he didn't show around everyone else.

Why is it that different parts of us only shine for different people? Isn't there someone we can be wholly ourselves with? Someone to know all our secrets and stay with us in spite of them?

"We didn't talk about Victor although Astrid did ask me because she saw me with him. I told her Ben's my brother. That's it. They didn't really want to talk about important things because it was just upsetting them. Especially not after Astrid and I, er, argued."

Dimitri's keen eyes suddenly dim as a shadow passes over his face. "Well, I can't really blame them for that."

"What… what happened here Dimitri? I know there was an attack but – how?"

He leans back against the cushions and immediately his posture goes slack. The lids over his dark eyes weigh down and it's clear he's more exhausted than any of us realised.

"It was close to morning, about two hours out so mostly everyone asleep with exception of the patrols. The timing was too precise. They would have had to have had this carefully planned. We guess now that they might have a place hallowed out in a mountain side, the mountains facing the East Wall. It would give them a vantage point. But they haven't been able to spare the resources to go and look. That morning the wards at the West started acting strange and when attention was paid they found two Strigoi stalking the boundary. They thought they were fledglings drawn by the smell of Moroi blood, the need for it overriding any common sense they had to know better about the Ward defences. But they were a distraction because then the Wards around the East side went down and the rest of the Strigoi scaled the wall."

His voice held the atmosphere that had been inside the church. He was always such a fortress, keeping everything inside, every emotion, but right now the door was slightly open and I was getting to glimpse inside. I knew he carried pain. I knew his family was hurting him but I wasn't sure how much. I knew he cared about what had happened here but I didn't know he felt because of it.

"Karl and a Dhampir girl were talking about a Guardian called Tanner. They said he's the reason it wasn't a lot worse."

Dimitri nods. "Tanner was the Head Guardian here, the Captain as we call it in the states. He seemed to realise it was a diversion before the Strigoi breached and got word into the dormitories so kids could get into the panic rooms or barricade themselves in. He saved lives."

"He died didn't he?"

Dimitri finds my gaze. "I hope so. The last witness account is that he was overpowered and dragged away."

I trace the pattern on the cushion. "You're going to look for them, aren't you?"

He takes a long steadying breath. "Yes."

"Maybe you shouldn't. Something could happen to you all."

A grim smile touches his lips. "I think that's part of the appeal. Revenge is very seductive. It's down to Victor, it's his call."

I tuck my knees up and turn toward him. "But they can't be alive? And you three can't go in and kill so many Strigoi. I mean your good but you're not that good."

"No we're not."

"And they can't be alive can they?"

"No, they're not." He says quietly.

"So what's the point?"

He's quiet for a few moments but finally says, "We don't think the nest is active anymore so we're betting the threat is minimal." I'm about to argue they should stay here when he asks, "Karl, you said his name was, was he close to Tanner?"

"Um, I'm not sure. He sounded like he really admired him. Why?"

"A lot of Dhampir children don't have close parental ties and usually bond to their mentors. I was just wondering if Karl lost more than a role model."

I want to ask about his parental ties and Galina but something tells me not to. "He didn't talk about him that much, only when Adrian asked about a cult and they started talking about a kid who ran away but Tanner brought him back."

Dimitri sits up and the door closes. "Explain that part to me, in detail."

The abrupt change causes me to hesitate but then I explain it as best I can remember which is almost word for word. Dimitri's face smooths out as he listens, becoming that calm unreadable mask which he wears so well. When I finish he stands and begins to pace.

"Adrian specifically asked about a cult? Did he give it a name?" I shake my head. "Did he ask any other questions around the same topic? About The Circle or Zmey?"

It's like a light being shone on part of my memory and all the pieces I've overhead start flickering in the dark.

"No, he didn't ask anything else. We had a nice time."

Dimitri stops pacing and looks at me. Instantly I go taut. "Rose, did Adrian ask you anything about any of these topics? You directly"

"No."

"Did he ask you anything about Victor or his business?"

"No. He only asked me about going to school. Why?"

"I think its best you avoid him from now on."

"What? why?"

"Because he's asking questions that are far too close to us. That cannot be coincidence, not with his family background." He reads the look on my face and elaborates. "Nathan Ivashkov and Victor have opposing views on the Coalition. We don't think its coincidence that they just happened to turn up here at the same time we did. Nathan wants to keep tabs on what Victors doing and...one of the best resources to tap can be the one most underestimated."

The way he's looking at me, what he's saying, it's all ushering me down the road to understanding but I'm dragging my heels because I know I won't like what it means. "You think – you think Adrian will ask me questions about Victor?"

"Yes."

"Then I won't answer them."

"You might give something away by accident. It's only a few more days. I think its best you avoid him." He seems satisfied with himself, like giving me an order to stop a potential problem gives him some means of control. I'm sorry I'll be taking it away from him. "I've got to go back –

"No."

The space between his eyebrows creases. "No, what?"

I clasp my hands together but I don't look away from him. "I'm not going to stay away from Adrian. I like him. We're friends." And I like having those.

"Rose, the risk – "

"I won't tell him anything."

"You're not listening to me. Stay away from him because -"

The fire fills up my core. "No."

Dimitri's eyes narrow. "This isn't up for discussion. I know you're smarter than this. Act as so."

Now I'm on my feet. "Why are you so sure he'd ask me about Victor? Can't he just want to be my friend?"

There's no badness in his face, no spite in his tone when he says, "It's not exactly realistic is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's an Elitist child who gets whatever he wants, whoever he wants and he expects the best of everything. It's highly unlikely that you offer anything to him bar information and it won't even be for his benefit. It will be for his father."

There's a stinging in my eyes and I would rather die than let it take over. I hold onto the fire that is slowly dying in my gut. "He's tired of all that, he told me. He doesn't even seem to like his dad because he's forcing him to go to College."

Dimitri looks close to pitying me and it makes my hands shake. "It made you feel sympathetic toward him, didn't it? He said something like, 'It's great to have someone different understand. You are unlike anyone else'."

Yes, yes that's exactly what he'd told me. The fire retreats and extinguishes into the darkness.

His voice is gentle, "Rose –"

I turn to the fireplace before a fat tear runs down my cheek. "Get out."

I hear him move across the room and the door open. "Boys like him Rose, they don't know any better but now you do and that makes you worth ten times more."

The door closes with a quiet click.

I spin around and grab the plate from the table. It's almost enough when it explodes against the door, almost.

I hate that I'm crying. I hate that he might be right, that something in me thinks that he is. But is it such an impossibility to hope that he isn't?

He said himself he didn't associate with Dhampirs. He said he wasn't taught the same things in his school like Andre or Lissa or Natalie. He saw me as a resource just like how every Moroi saw Dhampirs. The anger dries inside me like a new coat of armour. I walk to the bathroom shaking my head at my own nativity. I knew better than this. Weeks ago I wouldn't have been so easily toyed with.

I splash my face with cold water and then face the girl in the mirror. This is what people saw, this is what made first impressions and created how people treated me. A skinny Dhampir girl, no longer sick or sallow but still hidden beneath an oversized sweater which made her seem smaller. And I hated to admit it but the hair did not help. Thick and long, hanging in one wavy curtain with dry broken ends. Hair that is used to hide behind, hair that gave the impression I was a child who didn't know how to be older, how to style it or make it look pretty. Natalie and Lissa changed their hair to match their mood. Lissa pulled hers up when she concentrated and she wore it down when she was being sweet. Natalie wore hers in a ballerina bun when she was in a beauty routine and in a high pony tail when she 'meant business'.

I was sick of being seen as someone to mould and manipulate to suit others.

I was sick of being naive and afraid.

I was sick of being that girl from the desert.

I stalk back to the kitchen and rummage through the drawers until I find what I need. Adrian thought I looked younger and if he did take advantage of me I bet it made it easier. Astrid belittled me because of my appearance and used it against me. Spiridon teased me like he would a child. Ben comforted me and treated me like one too. Dimitri censored what he told me because he didn't think I could handle it.

I get back to the bathroom, grabbing a hair brush as I go and start yanking through the strands. When I'm done it hangs heavily and lifeless in a curtain around me, going right down to my over hips. The first step to not being treated like a child is to stop looking like one. I pull both sides over my shoulders and grab a fistful just under my collarbone. Dhampirs wore their hair short.

I take the scissors to the thick rope in my hand.

But I can't do it.

I meet my gaze in the mirror. "Come on. Don't be a coward."

A few seconds pass where it's just me holding the scissors and daring myself to do it but I just… I can't. I drop my hand and take some deep breaths hoping I'll - what was it Spiridon liked to say? - grow a pair. The problem is I like my hair. I like it long. I like long hair. I liked Serena's and Georgina's but Dhampirs wore it short. No… Guardian's wore it short. I was not Guardian but I wasn't a child either…

I lift the scissors up again but this time I take them to where my hair falls against the dip of my waist. I spare one last wistful look at the length between the metal mouth and the broken ends at the base of my hip before I start to cut.

"Eddie don't." He doesn't hear me because I'm too far away so I start to run. He was supposed to come back. He told me he was coming back.

The orchard is never-ending but I can see him and the Guardian by the storage bay. I can see the Guardian's cruel eyes alight which only means pain is promised. The pain was their favourite game and out here we were pawns on the playground. But they enjoyed it more when a pawn thought they could win, that they could play too and not just be a toy. Eddie thought he could play.

I see Eddie's slender frame go rigid, his shoulder set, feet apart and he's tall as the Guardian, a warped image of one. I run harder but the orchard isn't ending. I'm not getting any closer. The Guardian's lips split in half and his teeth glint, welcoming the game. In his hand, he holds the prize and he displays it to Eddie, taunting him.

I know Eddie doesn't see the Guardian's face because if he did he'd know there was no way on this earth he could win even if got the prize from the Guardian's hand. And maybe then he'd realise that it wasn't worth it.

But Eddie doesn't see because he's looking at the prize.

I scream as Eddie throws out his fist.

I know what's coming next and I can't stop it. I can't get there in time. His name is in my chest, expanding out, trying to bring him back, trying to make him stop and it travels up my throat to try again – the orchard trembles. The trees start to disappear, falling a part in flakes that get caught in the wind but there isn't any wind. I've stopped running.

Everything begins to shake in a silent earthquake and then blurs.

New colours and shapes begin to form and the temperature becomes cooler and pleasant. And then the world around me sharpens into focus.

The sound of running water fills the air and it takes me a moment to recognise where I am. The courtyard of the school, the one we'd passed when arriving and I wished I could sit in instead of being in the shade of the aligning stone walkway. The sun is bright now and anything is possible in a dream.

I step out into the sunshine leaving all the bad memories in the shade. I go to the fountain and dip my fingers into the cool water. It's strange somehow, like in dreams everything has blurriness to it, a barrier or at least that's how you remember it. Now, everything is clear to me and I can think properly. I feel like I have control. But perhaps you always feel that way in a dream and where I had been before had been a nightmare.

"I had a feeling you'd like it out here."

I turn and find Adrian watching me. He leans against the archway of the ingress between the courtyard and the walkway, just where I had been.

I frown. Why was I dreaming about Adrian? "Why?"

He shrugs and steps out onto the grass coming toward me. "A hunch. Dhampirs aren't allergic to the sun like us weaker beings."

I thought he was strolling toward me with an exaggerated swagger but something about his movements make me think he's drunk. Just like he had been when I'd last seen him which just serves to remind me I'm annoyed with him. I make a humming noise and sit down at the fountain's edge, turning my face up to the sun.

"In Greece, the evenings are warm like this. We could be in Greece if you want? Sipping cocktails and looking out at the ocean." I don't want to be dreaming about Adrian and I will him to go away. Strangely, I feel myself pushing against something but it pushes back. "Now that's not nice."

I turn to where he's sat down beside me, a bemused look on his face. This is strange, so very strange, he's clear like he really is sitting right in front of me, all his features down to the green of his eyes accurate. I could even smell cloves.

"What is this?" I say looking around for a Guardian or somebody else but it's quiet aside from the water. I look up at the sky and my breath catches in my throat. It's not just one blue but a range blues, moving through each other like water.

"Don't panic." Adrian says and reaches for me as I try to stand. His touch is real. I know it, not like in dreams where you know things more in your head. I could feel him. "It's okay, your safe."

I pull my wrist away. "What is this? Where are we?"

"This is a dream Rose. This is your dream, sort of."

"Sort of?" The sky was making me panic. I couldn't help but think of Blue Planet and imagine the ocean-like sky crashing down and drowning us.

"You're still asleep. Still in your room and in your head only I'm there too."

I look into his face trying to find a tell or a trace of untruth but there isn't one. "How is that possible?" My mother had never told me about this. I hadn't ever read about Moroi having this ability, to be in our minds. I knew they could compel but this…

Adrian grins but there's a sadness to it. "Magic, Llittle Dhampir."

Cautiously I sit back down staring fixedly at him as he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a cigarette. "What magic? There isn't magic like this."

Adrian shrugs. "If there is a higher force like our good church likes to believe, he is yet to share with me the whys to it. Sometimes I think I've been cursed." He lets out a bitter laugh and then puts the cigarette between his lips.

This is a dream. It had to be. A normal dream happening in my head and it wasn't like my mind had been making me think weird things lately. I pray that Dimitri doesn't appear without his shirt or something else ridiculous. If this is a normal dream, which it is, then I should just go with it.

"Cursed? To what…wander into dreams?"

He exhales a cloud of smoke that shapes itself into a bird. "No, this part is actually a perk of it. I think, in the grand scheme of things."

"Adrian." I try to do my best impression of Victor's serious voice. "Explain to me what you're talking about, properly."

"If I do then you might see fit to tell someone else to spite me for the real reason I'm here."

"Will you stop speaking in goddamn riddles?"

His eyebrows shoot up which is kinda funny considering his lips are pursed around his cigarette. "Little Dhampir, the claws are coming out again." He must see the irritation spark on my face because he carries on. "I've come to you in your dream for two reasons. A) I didn't want to run into Goliath again, sorry about that, I hope he didn't I've you ay grief and 2) I am a coward." He looks at me. "Why do you think Astrid left so quietly? Or didn't come back."

"Um, because she had something better to do?"

"No, what she did was go to her room and go to bed. What would make her do that?"

It clicks. The dazed look on Astrid's face, her easy compliance and the way everyone assumed she'd come back. And how could Adrian know she's gone to sleep when he hadn't followed her?

"You compelled her." He smiles grimly and I lean away from him. How could I wake up? "Why?"

"Because she wanted to rip your head off. "He says simply. "And I didn't want any drama, not tonight anyway, that and your brother probably like that you have all your teeth. I know I do."

"If this is a dream why are you drunk?"

He snorts. "Rose, I'm always drunk."

"Why?"

He shrugs. "To cope."

I don't have anything to say about something so sad. "Um, so you came to tell me you compelled Astrid. I guess… that's okay. I mean, I'm not going to tell anyone you did. I'm grateful and it's not like it hurt her right?"

"No, Rose." He says sadly. "That's not what I came to tell you. I came to tell you sorry … for compelling you."

There's a silence in which he manages to look up from the ground and at me. There was a shame that couldn't be faked on his face. "You did what?"

"I'm sorry, it was wrong."

The rage ignites quickly, no small flicker just an engulfing fire. "When? Why? What did you make me do?" I'm shaking. Is it possible to be sick in a dream? He holds up his hands in a vain effort to placate me. The courtyard is no longer bright but dim like the clouds have rolled over the sun. I don't look up.

"I just asked you things, told you things. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

I could spit fire I'm so mad. Maybe I could, this was my dream after all. Adrian suddenly stands up as if he knew what I'm thinking. He looks alarmed enough for it to be true. "What did you make me forget? How dare you. How dare you!"

"You didn't tell me anything that could get you in trouble or anything secret. I swear. Otherwise, my dad would probably be a lot happier with me right now… or yano, civil to my existence." He says bitterly. "I didn't want to do it but he pushed and – I'm sorry. Truly."

"Is this – Is this what Karl meant? I'm the weakest part of Victor's party so …" Disappointment crashes down on me. "That's why you were nice to me. That's why you came to get me, isn't it?" He can't hold my graze anymore. "What the hell did you make me tell you?"

I advance toward him with no idea what I'll do but he stumbles back, hands up again. "You didn't tell me anything. You didn't know anything." I'd been raking my brain trying to remember things I could have said but all I can think about is Dimitri and his concern about something… something at the edges of my memory evading me. "Why should I believe you?"

"Why else would I tell you?" I turn away from him and walk back to the fountain, running a hand through my hair. It was loose and still very long. It isn't like this anymore. "Rose, I'm sorry."

"I don't forgive you."

"I understand."

I turn back to him and he looks even sadder but my hearts hardened over, no sympathy can leak out. "What did you tell me that you made me forget?"

"That I won't tell you. I think it's enough that you know I can do this….and you know I can compel as effectively as I can." Effectively? I was going to punch him. I could punch him here. "And I've said my peace. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

I throw up my hands. "Why did you tell me? Why are you sorry?" Apart of me wished he hadn't because then Dimitri wouldn't have been right and I wouldn't feel like this.

He looks confused. "Don't you think I should be?"

"I think if you really didn't want to do it you wouldn't have." I snap at him, at the spoiled Moroi brat who could take advantage because it's right.

His shoulders drop and I see him clearly. Despite all the swagger and confident talk, Adrian is weak. "What did you mean about your dad? Did he ask you to compel me?" His face stills and I know I've pulled at the right thread. "What did he want to know?"

He sits back down and lights another cigarette having dropped the last. I resist the urge to pick it up. How did dream trash work? Had he just littered in my head?

Adrian is muttering to himself.

"What?"

"I'm damned now anyway." He repeats loudly and I roll my eyes. "He…he wanted to know why Victor was here and was it because of the age vote."

"I don't know what that is."

He gives me a dry look. "I know." My fists quake at my sides and he makes an apologetic gesture by waving his hands and scrunching up his face. He rests his elbows on his knees and suddenly I see him as a boy near my age and not just an older Moroi male. "It was proposed at Court a few weeks ago after everything happened here that Dhampirs should graduate a year or two earlier. Make them Guardians at sixteen."

My face drops. "That's –"

"Ridiculous? Barbaric? Suicidal? Yeah, I agree."

I try to get my brain to work, which is odd to think about seeing we're in it and sit back down. "Victor…Victor wants that?"

As I say it I know I don't believe it. He would never want someone younger than Natalie fighting or guarding Natalie. The way he'd reacted to me at the Ozera's, the way they all had, strengthened my resolve. That and Adrian snorts.

"No, not Victor."

It takes a moment. "Your dad?"

Adrian looks grim. "Yup." He inhales heavily. "He thinks Victors here to get Levandi on side, which he probably should and if I'm honest I think he will be. You saw him, he's a mess because of what happened, wracked with guilt. I doubt he'll condone sending kids out to the slaughter."

Levandi didn't look like he'd slept properly in a while but I wouldn't describe him as Adrian had. "Is that why you're both here? To get the Headmaster to support you?" Adrian doesn't say anything. "You weren't travelling back from anywhere were you?"

He shakes his head and exhales a large cloud of smoke. "Daddy Dearest was bringing me back from Greece in order to go to school. He got wind that Victor was coming here and Dragomir was going to Court in his place. We made an altered route."

The fire is dying down. Adrian had told me so many lies. Not just to me but to everyone but because his father told him too or so he said. If my mother told me to do something I wouldn't have argued…well, then I wouldn't have but now? I didn't feel so weak now. I glance at Adrian with his hunched shoulders that looked like they held the weight of the world and at his solemn face.

I just wanted to have a friend and somehow I had been dragged into bigger things. Moroi things.

"Thank you." I murmur and he looks up in surprise. "For telling me."

"You're thanking me for admitting I lied and compelled you?"

"And just strolled right into my brain uninvited. No, I'm thanking you for telling me the truth."

He stares at me. "Well, that's a first. Usually, when I tell the truth it goes a lot differently."

"You're being vague again."

He takes one last long draw from his cigarette. The smoke twirls and rolls within its cloud. "I told you before things are decided for me. Nobody cares what I have to say, just comply, behave, stop being a disappointment etc."

That's when I realise. Adrian is lonely.

"I don't forgive you." I tell him gently. "But I accept your apology."

"Well." He says straightening up and smiling meekly. "That's as much as I could have hoped for."

"Why did you tell me?" It would have been so much easier to keep lying.

His tongue runs over his bottom lip. "I… would it sound too lame to say because it was the right thing to do? Yeah, totally lame. I didn't lie when I said I liked you, Rose, that I was your friend. Yeah, I've been pretty shit so far but it can only go up from here." His try for humour falls flat and he becomes serious. "I asked you if you thought Victor was a good man and you said yes. I do too. I don't want what my family wants."

"You know I'm going to tell Victor this?"

He doesn't look like he'd considered that at all. "Uh, right well, yeah. That makes sense."

I feel the smallest puddle of sympathy. "I'll tell him that you told me the truth when you didn't have to. He'll appreciate that."

"Maybe." He mutters. He runs a hand through his hair making it even more dishevelled. How did mess suit him and mine was just a mess? "My dad won't."

"He might not find out." I say feebly.

Adrian doesn't look convinced and then he turns to me in alarm causing me to jump. "How are you going to tell him that I told you?"

It takes me a moment to grasp what he means. "I'll say you came to the room."

"Oh Jesus, your brother and Goliath will be thrilled about that. Won't they be watching it? They might know that's a lie. There are Guardian's everywhere. They would have seen me despite my super stealth skills." I roll my eyes. "Say…say I called you?"

"I don't have your number." I recall what Ben had told me about his special network and how it was different to others. He designed it so couldn't he be able to see everything in it? I wasn't sure how it worked but I knew Ben would know it was a lie. "They'll know you didn't."

"So I'll give you mine? Just put it in your phone and text me then I'll call and hang up."

"Ben's a genius with these things. He'd know, believe me."

"Then what?"

"I'll say I met you? They'll be more interested in the truth anyway."

"So we're lying about how you got the truth about lies? Seems ethical."

"Shut up."

He grins, a real one. I stand up with the intention of leaving but…. How did I do that? How did I leave my own head or wake up or … how the hell did this work?

"Rose." He says quietly and I look down at him. "Can you not tell anyone about this? Please? I know I have no right to ask you but please. They won't understand."

There's a vulnerability in his face, he tries to hide it but I can see it. Could he compel me in dreams? If he could he was choosing not to. He was choosing to trust me. "I won't tell anyone. Besides, do you really think they'd believe me?"

He smiles and stands up. The sky behind his bronze hair is a pale pink, almost white. "Stranger things have happened."

I smile back at him when my earlier issue returns. "Adrian, how do I get out?"

Gently he places his hands on my shoulders and I try not to tense but it's in vain. He leans in and his breath tickles my forehead. "Wake up Little Dhampir, wake up."

There's a warm breeze and the courtyard melts away.

Updated: 17/04/2022

Original note:

Hey little one's Thank you always for your patience! I get my uni results in the morning so I don't have the concentration to finish this chapter so I've split it. Also I'm buying a new laptop soon which will help with updates…working key boards generally do.

xxx