DPOV.

''When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else."

I am going to hell.

I am going straight to hell.

I've done a lot in my life to warrant it but up until this point I'd tried to atone. But here, right in front of me, is the biggest test and temptation and God help me I am going to fail. Everything White had just told me, everything I'd been mulling over and considering has been chased right out of my head. A swing of a bat and the devil has hit a home run.

"Dimitri" She says quietly and the temptation claws at me.

I keep my focus on the ceiling.

Inhale. Exhale.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

I'm gripping my phone so hard the glass may crack. Out of my peripheral, I see her lean back against the door. I couldn't help it, Guardian instinct is to be assessing everything even when you're trying your hardest not to.

"I wanted to return one of the things I'd stolen." Her voice is quiet but unwavering. "And I wanted you to help me with something."

Fuck.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I apply every bit of self-control I possess to meet her eyes. She hadn't sounded nervous but it's all over her face, the blush, the down-turned gaze and it's these things that harbour me. I wouldn't let her feel embarrassed.

"Oh?"

Her blush deepens and I fasten the reigns on myself.

"I -" She purses her lips and looks up at me from under her eyelashes. "Can you come over here?"

"Believe me, it's taking every bit of my self-control to not do that."

Now she's curious. She's always curious. "Why?"

Why?

Does she really not have any self-awareness? Is she not that aware of what she does to me?

"I don't entirely trust myself." I force out, voice rough.

"I trust you." She takes a short breath, her dark spilling down over her shoulders and breasts. I almost rock onto the balls of my feet, straining to be close to her. Those big brown eyes find mine again, open and shining. "I trust you."

I move slowly, muscles aching from how tightly I'd locked myself down. I toss my phone to the window seat and take measure steps toward her. Just like I had the other night when I wanted to give her the opportunity to express her discomfort. Her eyes don't leave mine, no fear, but her chest rises and falls as she presses back against the door.

That bravery gives me permission to drop my gaze and drink her in. Purple skims and hugs her skin, complimenting it. Silken material and, lace trimming at the edges. My fingers twitch wondering how it feels, the heat of her coming through it.

"That's what I need help with." She murmurs, eyes flickering over my face.

My trousers are becoming unbearable.

"Please tell me what you mean before I lose the strength to just stand here."

"I don't want you to stand there. I want you to come here. I want you to be like the other night when you...when you let go of your control."

I hadn't let go of it. I lessened it. "You had clothes on then."

"That you said you were going to take back if we carried on. I want to carry on."

I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

"Please."

The restraints fray. I close the distance and hear her sharp inhale as I brace my forearms on either side of her head. I lean in, inhaling her scent, berries, and something that is just her. My lips graze her cheek and she shivers.

"What do you want?" I ask, low and demanding.

She removes her hands from behind her back and I wonder if she'd forced them there so she wouldn't fidget, try to hide. Carefully she puts them on my waist and I make myself be still.

"I want you to touch me." She whispers.

The restraints snap.

I hear myself groan and she turns her head so I can claim her mouth. I lift her and pin her to the door with my hips, hands running over her waist, sweeping the sides of her breasts as her arms wrap around my neck. She pulls out my hair tie so she can sink her fingers into the strands and grip it. I shift her up higher in one motion, holding onto the back of her thighs so I can explore her neck and chest, running my tongue over skin I'd thought about, dreamt about. Her skin as soft as I imagined.

"Dimitri." She pleads and I know what she wants, what she needs. Can feel the heat of her through my shirt.

I lessen my hold so she shifts down slightly as I carry us to my bed. She kisses me, tongue sliding against mine and I'm ruined for this, would kill for this and when she nips at my bottom lip in frustration it goes straight to my cock.

This is about her. This is not about me. She'd asked me to touch her.

I lay her down, bracing myself above her and angling my hips away.

"Remember what you promised?"

Her dark hair fans out around her, eyes hooded under her lashes, cheeks flushed, lips swollen. She dips her chin and there's so much trust there that I know in my soul I'd die time and time again before I saw that shatter.

"I need you to say it." I run my fingertip over her bottom lip, then let it trail down her neck, between her breasts.

"I promise." She whispers.

I nod and kneel back to pull my shirt over my head. Her gaze roams over me, from the faint markings still lingering under my skin to my chest and appreciatively over my stomach. The want in her expression wakes something dark and primal in me.

I crawl back over her slowly, again to give her time to decide she wants to draw the line. It might kill me but that's a fate I'm committed to. Her hands, those dainty fingers, land on my waist again but begin exploring on their own and when they trail down to my waistband I lean down to capture her lips. She tugs my jeans forward and I lower myself under her instructions.

Skin to skin.

She makes that noise low in her throat and my fingers grip the sheets. I wanted to hear that over and over. I wanted to know what other noises I could coax from her. I kiss her once, twice, and then make my way down her throat, feeling her thrumming pulse, over her collar bones to the swell of her breasts.

I could die right here.

I lick the soft curve, her skin faintly tasting of summer berries, and give the same attention to the other side. Teasing, taking my time, savouring.

I pause. "Roza, breathe. Breathe or I'll stop."

She inhales and exhales in short and shallow pants. I give her a few seconds, my fingers brushing against one of the cups, tracing the pattern boarding her skin. One of her hands is in my hair again and she tightens her grip, urging me on. The teasing had given me the advantage of finding the hardened peak and I take it gently between my teeth.

Rose moans quietly and I give the same treatment to the other side. Maybe less gently. She squirms against me. I shift so I can slip one hand between us and cup her, the hardened tip still in my mouth, and my own groan is lost beneath hers. I let my fingers run over the warm silk, feeling it dampen as she gasps and arches against me. I slide back and off the bed, gripping her hips to drag her to the edge.

If I'm going to hell it'll be because I kneeled and worshipped this woman.

"Dimitri."

Hearing my name from her lips when I'm between her thighs makes that primal instinct coil and I have to remind myself to not rush this. I meet her eyes as I press a kiss to her skin, high enough to show her my intent, fingers skimming her waist.

She's so fucking beautiful and I was going to make her feel what she does to me.

"You want this?" I murmur against her skin. Kissing higher.

"Yes." She says breathlessly.

I tease a few more kisses on the other leg, letting her squirm until it nearly becomes unfair and then I kiss her where we both want it, through the silk. She gasps, one hand grasping the sheets and the other my hand. I don't draw it out. With my free hand, I hook my fingers into the material and pull it aside and lick the length of her.

The jokes on the devil because this is heaven.

Rose lets out a short scream, her hand leaving mine to cover her mouth and I dart forward to pull it away.

"I want to hear you." The only demand I would make here.

Her chocolate brown eyes search mine, unsure, self-conscience, but she nods.

I kneel back and pull the material aside again, letting the air hit the sensitive spot first, laying her bare to me, feeling her legs tremble.

I resume my duties.

I clamp one arm over her hips to hold her down and her thighs tighten around my head as I tease the sensitive bud with the tip of my tongue, beyond delighted at the soft, breathy noises it coaxes. This is all new to her, all this overwhelming sensation and it's so fucking erotic to hear. When she rolls her hips against me I give into that primal instinct to devour her, lust clouding any sense.

She pulls at my hair as I press my tongue against her. Her nails rake over the arm on her hips when I nip lightly and when I suck on that little bud, using my free hand to cup her breast, she moans and rocks against me. She grips my hand under hers as I knead that supple flesh, fingers biting into her skin. I wanted her in every way, wanted to know what would make her shake and convulse and take my time doing it.

My tongue swirls against her clit, demanding, and her hips bear down against my mouth, and when I trace the tip down and plunge inside of her she cries out. Her legs shake around me as I delve deeper, instincts raw and driven by the throaty sounds she's making. I pull my hand out from under hers so I can tease one finger at her entrance, wet inviting heat. Feeling it under my touch is different from my tongue, maddening. I push inside, sparing a moment to look up and watch the whimper leave her parted lips, see her chest arch as she grips the covers. Fuck, she's beautiful.

I lower my mouth back to her, closing it around that sensitive bundle with a groan and her hands are in my hair again, nails raking against my scalp as she writhes, getting closer. I stop with gentle strokes, going after her orgasm like a predator as my finger curls and pumps in and out. She's so hot and wet that I add another finger, easing it in and she rocks her hips, needing, wanting, chasing her pleasure too.

She says my name, half pleading, half praying, which elicits from me a noise I didn't even know I could make. Cardinal, primal, raw. I seal my lips around her and suck hard. She arches off the bed, a scream getting caught in her throat and she pulses around my fingers.

The devil can go fuck himself.

I help ease her down, movements slowing until she twitches, too sensitive to be touched and I let her underwear cover her again. I slide her legs off my shoulders gently, kissing her knee, before climbing up to lie beside her.

I smooth her hair back from her forehead, her skin feverish and almost glowing. She stirs and blearily looks up at me, her gaze clouded by bliss. She doesn't say anything, just looks at me with lips parted, breathing shallowly, and abruptly she leans up to kiss me, long and hard. Her tongue parts my lips, tasting herself and I groan, hand sliding to her throat. The confines of my trousers are boarding on excruciating but the pain is pain and it centres me. It also makes me want to rip them off but I wouldn't scare her. I could handle this.

We kiss until we're both panting.

"So, did I help with what you needed?" I murmur against her lips. She nods, still breathing hard, and I chuckle.

I had meant what I'd said to her a few days ago. There isn't a physical challenge I hadn't excelled at in years.

I pull us up the bed so we're nestled in the pillows. She tucks herself against me and I hold her there, enjoying the press of her skin against mine. Willing the tightness of trousers to ease.

At some point, we both must doze off and I wake to her running her fingers over my chest, pressing idle kisses to my skin. I say her name and she sits up. Her cheeks are still tinged pink and I brush my thumb over the rosy skin, and then into her long locks. The silk strands winding through my fingers, gold threads catch the light.

How could I have ever looked at her and not seen this?

"Are you okay?" I murmur.

She nods and I can't help but smile. "Are you choosing not to talk to me?"

She scowls and I suppress a smirk. She's adorable. "You look so proud of yourself."

"Shouldn't I be?"

The blush deepens and she looks away. Immediately I sit forward and draw her back, finger curled under her chin. "Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm not." She bites her lip, eyes darting away from mine and back again. I wait patiently as she builds her courage. "Did you...enjoy that too?"

My hand slides to the back of her neck and I pull her forward, kissing her softly. "Yes. How could I not?"

Finally, she grins and leans forward, kissing me until I pull her into my lap. Her hands rest on my chest, then drift over my shoulders and then down over my torso pausing there.

I wouldn't push. I wouldn't do anything she didn't want. It's enough that she's allowed me this so far, humbling.

My hands run up her thighs, the flare of her hips, and into the dip of her waist. I wouldn't tire of touching her, addicted to exploring her skin and learning what she liked. If she wanted to only wear lingerie like this when I did then that is more than fine with me.

She takes my bottom lip between her teeth, tiring of light kisses. So impatient. My hands drop from her waist to grip her ass when I deepen the kiss. She makes a delighted little noise in her throat and I try to put the reigns back on myself, gain some control.

"I want to touch you." She says, voice low and tempting.

I still. Hand sliding back down over her thighs. "You don't have to do that. I don't expect you to."

She leans back to look at me. "I want to. Why do you get to touch me and not the other way around?"

Inhale. Exhale.

I couldn't make myself speak. To protest, to agree, to talk her out of it. Could only focus on being still.

"I'm not afraid of you." She says. As if she needs to remind me how brave she is.

I close my eyes. "Rose."

"I want to make you feel like that. Let me. Show me. Please."

'Please', that fucking word.

I haven't moved.

Her fingers move to my waistband, popping free the button and tugging at the zip. She stops, her brow creasing. "Don't you want me to?"

I close my eyes as I inhale, and open them when I exhale. Her beautiful doe eyes are unsure and a little hurt.

I swallow. "Of course I want you to."

The reigns are ripped from me.

I take her face in my hands and kiss her with less restraint than I ever have. I crush her to me, every curve of her body against every line of mine. Breaking away from her mouth to descend on her chest again and those pillowy soft breasts that I want to rip the fabric from.

She shoves me back and I blink up at her from the pillow, immediately worried I've gone too far.

"You're distracting me." She chides, breathless. Shifting herself backward so she's resting on my thighs.

"Sorry." I hear myself say as she pulls the zip of my trousers down.

Inhale. Exhale.

I make myself still, calm, and lift my hips so she can tug my trousers down and I kick them away. She settles back on my thighs, looking contemplatively down at my boxers and it takes every shred of control to let her, to just lie there. She reaches out and strokes me with one finger through the fabric.

The sharp inhale through my teeth makes her start, she searches my face, and then she grins. She's trying to hide it and it's killing me, it's all killing me. I throw an arm over my eyes and grip the sheets when she palms me.

"I have a question." She murmurs.

Of course, she does.

"Mhm?"

"How...how will it fit." A string of curses and prayers leave my mouth in my mother tongue. "Is that a stupid question?"

"No. No, it's not. But Rose, you are killing me here."

"Oh?"

I begin to tell her that something needs to happen, whether she takes hold of me or I do, or I take shower or go for a run. Something needed to happen but then her fingers curl into the band of my boxers and pull them down.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She makes a small thoughtful noise and I can't lift my arm, can't look at her I might just come right there and then. Her slim fingers wrap around my shaft and experimentally she moves her hand up and down a fraction.

I am going to die.

"Dimitri." Her voice is low. "I don't know what to do. Show me."

Buck up Belikov.

I push myself up slightly onto the pillows and she watches me from under her eyelashes, gaze dropping when I take myself in my hand and show her. I'm the hardest I've ever been, in agony and she watches as I stroke myself, straddling my thighs and her nails dig into my hips. My head falls back and I groan. She grabs my wrist and pushes my hand away, impatient, and takes me in hers.

"A little tighter." I grit out and she follows instructions, always studious.

She sets a pace and I lose control again, gripping the sheets and her thigh. I feel her lean toward me, still pumping my cock in her small hand. "Does it feel good?"

I growl and grab her neck to pull her toward me, claiming that pretty mouth that is so intent on saying bad words. Once again she shoves me back with one hand, the other pumping me faster and twisting. I reach back to grip the headboard, needing to hold on to something or break it.

She slows her movements to brush her thumb over the head and my hips buck slightly, a harsh sigh leaves my lips.

"Oh." She says thoughtfully.

I feel her shift and without any fucking warning her tongue swipes against me.

A shudder goes through my bones as I lock my muscles, resisting the urge to thrust upwards. I groan and my other hand fastens against the headboard too. She takes this as encouragement and takes the tip, her tongue sliding against me.

"Roza." I don't recognise my voice.

She hums and takes me deeper. One hand leaves the headboard to fasten in her hair. I don't apply pressure and I don't pull back, I just need to be touching her. God, I wish I could throw her back and take her in my mouth again. The thought clashes with the overwhelming pleasure pulsing through my cock as her mouth sinks lower and pulls back.

My hand leaves her hair to take the bottom of my shaft in my hand, I need release, I need -

She pushes my hand away and her mouth leaves me to say angrily. "Tell me what to do."

The shortest laugh leaves me, a little puff of air. "You can not do wrong."

"Tell me how you like it." She murmurs, kissing my hip.

Inhale. "Exactly like you were, a little faster, tighter, use your hand too."

She shows me what a fast learner she is. The headboard creaks as I grip it. Rose takes me, tongue pressing against my cock making her mouth tight around me as she works, her hand at the base tight and twisting.

I groan between panting, the pressure building close to breaking. "Rose."

I yank her up, crushing her mouth to mine, capturing her surprised gasp. My hand joins hers and I careen out of control, my hips thrust into both our hands, and a guttural sound rips from my throat against her lips.

I pulse and shudder under her, coming so hard my mind goes utterly blank for a long, suspended seconds. When I come back to myself she's panting a little too and I gently press my lips to hers. I twitch still in her grip and tug her wrist so she releases me.

My body is boneless and she shifts off my lap to kneel beside me. She looks at her hand thoughtfully, liquid glistening there.

I make myself pull up my boxers and stand, striding to the bathroom on weak legs. I come back with a damp cloth, clean her stomach, thighs, and the little that got on her hand. I clean myself up in the bathroom and return to her on the bed, where she's lying back with a sleepy small smile. I climb over her, pausing to kiss those wicked lips, before laying down.

"Now who looks smug." I murmur.

She rolls onto her side, drawing one leg up mine and wrapping a hand around my waist. "As I should be."

I hook my hand behind her knee, holding it there. "I don't think I told you. I'm very appreciative of what you're wearing."

She's quiet for a moment. "Thank you."

"And next time, please let me be the one to undress you."

A shiver goes through her. "Next time?"

I roll her onto her back, settling between her hips, skin to skin, lines to curves, and whisper against her lips. "Roza, there are many more things I would like to do with you, that being one."