DPOV - Part 2.
The next evening we focus on running and conditioning. Quick and effective work as there's a lot to do in the house. Unlike last year when it was just an intimate dinner between Dragomirs and Dashkovs.
I'd come out earlier to clear the green with a shovel, Ben appearing halfway through to help.
I can tell Rose is apprehensive, it clears from her face when she's focusing on her movements and the borderline brutal plan I'd given her, but it comes back when she starts the cooldown. I almost get my legs kicked out from under me for noticing.
"I thought you were letting it go." Spiridon growls.
I come at him with honed focus, ignoring the tightness in my lower back, and nearly land a hit. Nearly.
"Better."
It's extremely irritating that he feels the need to comment as if he's coaching me. I let the anger melt from my bones and become molten in my blood as he comes at me in a series of moves I've been taking from sixteen. He anticipates I'll block but I catch his wrist and use his momentum to throw him over my shoulder, keeping hold of his wrist, and by the time he lands on his back I have his arm twisted at a precarious angle. All it would need is a kick to the elbow to snap it.
"I'll allow it." He says from the ground, hair wet from the snow and sweat.
I let go and hide the wince as my hip gives a sharp protest.
"When am I learning to do that?" Rose demands, coming out of her stretch.
I keep my eyes on her face and not allowing them to notice her legs in the skin-hugging material.
"Come at me little girl." Spiridon taunts, pushing himself onto his elbows.
Rose smirks like she's considering it.
Ben emerges from the tree line, finishing his lap, and that slow comment comes to mind. I scoop up some snow, unnoticed by the Rose or Spiridon who are now bickering and cock my arm back.
It hits him square in the face.
Spiridon howls as Ben wipes the crusted powder from his sweaty face. Rose's hand covers her mouth and I school my features to be perfectly neutral.
"Motherfucker." Ben shouts at Spiridon.
"That wasn't me!"
Ben's eyes flick to my bored face in suspicion but return to Spiridon with determination. He snatches up some snow and I step toward the kitchen, ignoring Spiridon shouting the truth of things and curse when Rose pelts a ball at him. All hell breaks loose. There's no strategy to anything as they just hurl snow at each other, ducking and diving to avoid a rogue ball. I sip my water and step to the side as Rose aims for me. Snow explodes next to my head, splattering over my neck.
Ben makes ground on Spiridon and tackles him.
"You caused this." Rose laughs, dancing closer to me. One arm behind her back in a non-suspicious fashion.
"I don't know what you mean."
She grins.
I raise a brow. "Take your shot."
She puts the other hand behind her back and shifts on her left foot. I move as her right arm does. She's feinting. The left whips out and snow explodes against my shoulder.
"That's for leaving me last night." She whispers proudly.
Ben and Spiridon are wrestling around in the snow fifteen feet away but it may as well be fifty.
I can't help it.
"Frustrated?" I ask quietly, my bottle positioned in front of my lips.
Thank fuck she's already flushed from the workout. She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip, eyes darting down and then back up to mine. That look before something close to sin leaves her lips.
"I was. And then I wasn't."
I blink and she steps away, a smug grin on her face as she glances back at me.
She was and then she wasn't?
I needed to know why. I needed her to tell me why right this second but then I might need to run straight into the woods or the ice water of the lake.
"Ben." I shout and it distracts him the fraction Spiridon needs to throw him off. "I think I've proved there's nothing slow about my reflexes."
"Motherf-"
It's everything in me to not break into a run as I step back into the kitchen.
'I was. And then I wasn't'
I take the stairs three at a time with images flying through my head abandoned to any sense of awareness of my surroundings. Her long legs in those jeans, her ass in those leggings, her knees around my head, and her crying my name right before she tightens around my fingers.
I rip my clothes off and slam my bathroom door.
Downstairs with my mind and body partially sedated I let the caters and servers into the house. Spiridon and I re-arrange the living room so we can add extra tables and chairs. Under Rose's instructions, the servers start adding the tables coverings and runners.
Ben is carting a heat lamp out in the garden and as I pass her I drop my voice to tell her she's got this handled and there's nothing to worry about. She flashes me a short smile before moving onto the next thing in her list which has her demanding all the servers attention in the kitchen.
After all the heavy lifting I lend Spiridon a black shirt, as Victor had specified we need to be dressed more formally.
"I owe you an apology." I tell him as he pulls the garment on. It's a bit big but it would do.
"For what specifically?" He tucks the shirt into his waistband.
"For last night."
"Urgh, grow up." He stalks over to the mirror and flattens his hair.
In the hall excited voices announce the girls before they appear, ushering Rose into her room.
"Looking good boys." Natalie winks before Vasilisa pulls her inside with an almost apologetic smile.
"She was talking to me. Don't let it go to your head." Spiridon claps my shoulder and strides out.
Downstairs Ben helps Victor with his cufflinks as tells us we may be addressed to answer questions in regards to the field, the vote but business as usual. Stationed to your posts. I was spending the first hour and a half patrolling with Spiridon and then I'd switch with Ben and one of Tasha's Guardians.
I'm pulling on my coat as Vasilisa rounds the bottom of the stairs. She hurries toward me.
"I got it yesterday." She beams. "I'm going to give it to her in a little bit."
"Not for Christmas?"
She shakes her head, gold curls bouncing. "I think today is better because, well, so cheesy but, I'm grateful for her, and I think Christmas she might feel pressure to reciprocate, and that's not what it's about."
I give her a small smile. "I think your right. It's a really lovely gesture Vasilisa."
"Lissa."
I incline my head. "Lissa."
"I'll tell her you helped with the design and everything."
"You don't need to."
"Why wouldn't I? Without your help it wouldn't be done right."
Over her shoulder Spiridon jerks his head toward the kitchen, indicating we needed to start our patrol.
Cars are pulling into the drive. Lissa's parents step out of one.
"Glad to help." I tell her. "Excuse me."
My patrol drags as if time was purposefully digging in its heels and sending my anxiety climbing every time I glimpsed the house. When I was close enough to view the kitchen window it framed a flurry of activity from the hired staff and never her.
Which is a good thing. If she was in there it would mean something hadn't been done right and she'd have to be handling it. I send up a silent pray everything is running smoothly and she can enjoy her first Thanksgiving, even with present company.
Ben steps out onto the green with Ethan Moore as Spiridon and I emerge from either end of the trail. The green was once again a canvass of white.
"Hope your wearing extra underwear or your balls are gonna freeze right off." Spiridon says to Ben, causing Moore's eyes to go wide.
"Not a problem for you seeing you have none." Ben replies smoothly, stalking past me.
Moore raises an eyebrow and I shake my head.
The heat from the kitchen stings my cheeks as we step around the staff uncorking bottles and plating up dinner. The kitchen has never felt so small.
Spiridon holds his hand out for my coat and I pass it to him. I move fluidly toward my post at the far wall, by the living room window.
Natalie is sitting with Christian, Mason, and Ralf. Victor stands with the two of the headmasters from Poland and Romania, and Rhea Dragomir. Natasha is deep in conversation with Eric Dragomir and the remaining Headmaster Levandi. The man seems thinner from the last time I'd seen him.
Movement on the stairs draws my attention and my lips part the smallest fraction.
Lissa descends hand in hand with Rose, gold circling the wrist of the latter but that's not what's causing my heart rate to spike.
A black dress to send a man to his knees. It's strapless leaving her tanned shoulders and delicate set of her collarbones exposed. Fitted perfectly to her chest, ending mid-thigh and making her long legs seem even more captivating, a whole reason in themselves to fall from grace. Her dark hair is a waterfall of thick waves, one side pinned back with a hair slide. She wears the barest hint of makeup, a gold dusting on her cheekbone, eyelashes fuller, and lips tinted a sheer red, just like they've been kissed. My fingers curl as I lock myself down, muscles straining to meet her at the bottom stair. To tell her how utterly, devastatingly beautiful she looks.
But I can't.
Instead, Mason Ashford gets up from the sofa and strides toward them. My nails dig into my palm and I force myself to look at every other face in the room.
A server flits past me with a tray of champagne and strawberries. I have a bizarre urge to snatch a glass.
Pull it together.
Do you crave me, Roza?
Yes
Fuck.
"Victor, I'm going to distract your Guardian now so don't blame him." Tasha's voice knocks my out of my train of thought. She's walking toward me throwing a delighted laugh over her shoulder at whatever Victor's response was.
Past her, manning the corner of the glass wall, Spiridon raises an eyebrow.
I will myself not to find those chocolate eyes.
"You look in pain." Tasha muses, lifting her bubbling flute to her lips. Her other hand brushes over her waist before landing on her hip. She's wearing a royal purple dress that ties at the back of her neck. It puts a violet tint in her icy eyes.
"Hungry." I murmur.
A little bit of truth. Unsatisfied cravings.
"You should have chosen not to work." She says, stepping closer. "You look very dashing by the way."
Ah.
"Thank you. Not so bad yourself." I respond deadpan, eyes skipping from face to face like a pebble refusing to settle. Until she touches my collar.
"Tasha." I warn quietly. "I am working."
She raises her eyebrows, finger skimming over my shoulder. Hadn't I already made this clear? Hadn't we already had this discussion about propriety? I could hardly raise my voice or call out properly with a room full of people Victor is trying to woo and embarrass her.
"Victor doesn't mind. Relax for five minutes. Your at home, it's not like you're properly on duty."
"I am on duty."
She rolls her eyes. "Killjoy."
A low buzz of irritation starts in my ears. I hadn't had a chance to pull her aside for a proper conversation. Between the classes, escorting Victor and Roza being ill I hadn't had the time or prioritised it at all, and it wasn't something I wanted to get into over the phone. But I should have, because here right now I know this is bad. Ben's words in the back of my mind, the reason why I don't want to look for her because if I see one ounce of hurt in her face I'll end up declaring to the room what little interest I have in Victor and Tasha's proposed offer.
Tasha turns to the room, her arm brushing mine and it's not lost on me how it looks like we're two people paired off in the corner.
"Everything looks well. Rose is a credit to herself."
"She is."
In my peripheral Mason is leading Rose to the group sat on the sofa. Christian subtly gets up and joins Victor's small group, eagerly welcomed by the man himself.
"We'll give her a wide berth. Although Christian's very...eager to talk to her. It's eating away at him."
A wide berth would be for her to return to the Academy if not Wyoming.
"She's not ready."
"Have you asked?"
I can't talk about this so I just take a deep breath through my nose and behind me the gravel crunches with the arrival of the last car. Andre.
The past two hours have been utilised to ply the guests with enough wine and champagne to set the tone Victor wanted.
"You are asking for her time after months when nearly eighteen years of it was stolen from her. He can wait."
I feel her look up at me in surprise and probably hurt.
Rose pops up from her seat, moving to the door to greet Andre. I have no idea how she's walking in those heels but I appreciate it.
"That's not Christian's fault." She says coldly.
I finally look down at her. "Not now."
Her icy gaze chips. "What is the matter with you?"
"Adrian!" Victor calls out in surprise.
I turn to see Andre on the threshold, unwrapping his grey scarf, jerking his head to the Moroi at his side.
"I honestly can't get rid of him." Andre says to the room in explanation.
"You weren't invited." I hear Rose say, see the realisation cross her face she hasn't planned for an extra guest.
Adrian Ivashkov grins and quite obviously runs his eyes all over her. I clench my jaw and turn back to the room.
"So I kept being told which I just find all the more tantalising. You get better looking every time I see you, little dhampir."
Across the room, Spiridon is watching with the driest expression. Eric and Rhea cross to greet their son and his friend. Victor is informing the heads of the new additions and Natalie snatches two flutes from a tray, delighted by Adrian's arrival.
I wonder if Ben will swap early with me. He'd keep a protective eye on Rose and not feel as hostile about it. Or notice the dress and how she looked in it.
"Excuse me." I murmur to Tasha and leave to retrieve another chair from the basement. I inform Spiridon as I pass him and he moves to the head of the room.
When I return everyone is taking their seats and Adrian is standing between Rose and Rhea. Quite obviously implying where he wants his place set. I set the chair down, winter berries filling my nose, and retreat as she's turning toward me.
I don't trust myself to be this close to her right now.
I resume my post and the food begins being served. Victor makes a toast, which includes thanking Rose for her efforts, and soon they're all clinking glasses. Rose has Adrian on one side and Natalie on the other, buffered away nicely from Christian and Tasha. I relax a little.
I zone out from the chatter and will myself to go through neutral topics, things that didn't rotate back to that dress. I surface when I hear her laughing, god I love that laugh, and then a break between desserts so more wine can flow.
The tables break up.
"Dimitri." Victor calls. I look to find nearly every pair of eyes on me. He's standing with the Polish headmaster but it seems whatever they've been talking about had everyone paying attention.
"Sir?"
"Aleksander, may I call you Alexsander? Marvellous, and I were just disagreeing on someone younger than Mason here being...integral on the field and we were just wanting an accomplished Guardian's input."
Showtime.
"They would be a liability. As would anyone fresh from graduating without relevant experience." I incline my head to Mason, who looks pissed. "Though, through no fault of their own."
"Awkward." Adrian mutters and Andre elbows him.
"I see." Victor says. "So your accomplishments were only that through spending, two years was it? In the red areas of Kazakhstan."
Stone and steel. "Yes, sir."
Aleksander, the haughty-looking man with thinning blonde hair, holds up his wine glass. "But regimes can change, we alter the training. The dhampirs, the ones I have had the pleasure of talking to, are eager to join the field. See the honour in it, like this young man." He inclines his glass to Mason who's chest seems to swell. "With all your physical advances it is a matter of mentally preparing, no? Guardians like yourself can implement ways to do that."
Arrogant bastard.
Victor raises his eyebrows slightly at me, permission I suppose.
"I disagree." My voice is clear and flat.
Any flattery aimed toward me by Aleksander melts off his face. "You do?"
"Strongly." Spiridon quips from the corner, causing the room to turn to him and I know he's trying not to smirk.
Victor focuses on me, eyes flashing, and nods a fraction.
"Yes, I do. At sixteen a child is not emotionally or mentally prepared for what they would face. It does not matter how much you physically prepare them. To have them fully ready they would be robbed of childhood, training would have to begin at a young age to hone the mentality they would need. You would essentially be robbing them of humanity."
Rhea looks disturbed and the majority looks uncomfortable, except Tasha who seizes her moment.
"Which is why the most plausible course of action is for Moroi to use their gifts. To learn how to defend themselves and completely level things out. Fire users have the best advantage."
Rose is glaring at her from Natalie's side and I clench my hands.
Adrian murmurs in Andre's ear and they both start toward the garden, ignoring the disapproving looks from Eric. Natalie notices and starts tugging Rose along, bored with the topic. Rose shakes her head and pulls her hand away.
"How children would need to be treated would be akin to the LGB's methods and I would hope that would not be supported." Victor says gravely as if he's just thinking out loud.
"And do not doubt, the Guard would strike if not revolt." I manage to sound calm although I'm anything but.
"And you? Would you strike and leave your Moroi unguarded?" Levandi asks, his tired eyes beseeching.
I feel the weight of all those eyes.
We hadn't discussed this but my guess is Spiridon wouldn't and Ben would. And me?
"Honestly I don't know but I would be inclined to."
"That's a disgrace." Eric says and then looks surprised at himself.
"To save countless young dhampir lives?" I ask quietly and the man's face grows red.
"I'm learning to use magic to defend myself." Lissa says proudly, which seems to be news to her parents. "And now knowing a little bit, I would never expect someone else to throw themselves in front of me. I don't think my life is any more important than another."
Christian looks at her as if she's the sun rising after a nights storm.
Lissa takes Rose's hand.
In the garden, Adrian and Andre nearly have their noses pressed against the glass, chain-smoking.
"No disrespect." Mason says, stepping forward. "But you don't know me. You don't know that I'm not ready, at most you've observed us in class but you haven't seen what I can do."
"You think you are ready?" Victor asks simply, without condescension or admiration in his tone.
He lifts his chin. "I do."
"Interesting."
Mason's expression darkens, a boy being second-guessed when he's so sure. "I'm top of my class, Mr. Dashkov. I'm ready."
Victor considers this and then asks, with an air of caution. "Would you mind proving it to us?"
Expressions of alarm mirror around the room and Natalie is looking angrily at her father.
"Prove it, sir?"
Internally I sigh.
Victor nods and gestures to me. "Dimitri took down a Strigoi yesterday evening, lurking near the school. So if you are ready to face a Strigoi, surely you should be able to hold your own if not best, Dimitri?"
This was not the humiliation I had in mind when I first broached the topic but here it is, my words taking on a life of their own and being used by a politician.
I dare a glance at Spiridon and I know, I just know, this has been his idea.
Part of me wants Mason to relent but of course, he doesn't.
"Yes." He answers confidently.
Aleksander, Levandi, and Eric give him the look at him with approval. The Romanian head,Balan, looks at him with pity. I begin unbuttoning my cuffs, stepping away from my post, and earning some attention.
I focus on Mason. "Shall we?"
A hint of uncertainty touches his features and that's all it takes. That single drop of hesitancy would seal his fate and his coffin.
"Wait, you can't be serious?" Natalie says.
Her scepticism is the wound to his pride that he needs to agree. I lead the way to the green rolling up my sleeves and hear the party moving to follow.
"Kick his ass for his own sake." Spiridon says out of the corner of his mouth as he passes me. "Don't drop your fucking hip."
I have to bite my tongue.
Mason faces me, losing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. He's uneasy, already shifting his weight between his feet. Focus splitting off, his eyes pass over the crowd, me, Spiridon, Adrian and Andre as they come to the kitchen door.
I don't ask if he's ready. I don't give any indication we're to begin. I am not his teacher, I am his opponent and no such luxury's meet you on the field.
I see his blue eyes widen as I dart forward and he manages to sidestep at the last second but there's no time left to orientate himself and ready for my onslaught. I could have put him on his back, one palm to the chest to indicate the fight is over but that wouldn't drive home the point. I have to rile him up. Blows land to his chest, face, and back. Kicking out his knees from under him, taunting him. It's unfair. It's brutal.
He gets up for the third time and I will him to swallow that pride, to voice what everyone watching knows.
This is not his failure. Not being ready is not his fault.
"I think I've seen enough." Alina Balan says from the sidelines.
Mason barrels toward me desperation entering the fray. I repeat the same series of movements I'd use on Spiridon a few hours before. There's more ferocity behind Mason's advance so when I pull him over my shoulder and he hits the ground I'm surprised it doesn't wind him.
He struggles against the hold I have on his wrist, arm at the wrong angle.
"Give." It sounds like a blunt instruction but it's actually a plea.
He glares at me, bitter resentment etched onto his face. I twist my hold.
"Alright! I give."
I release him and springs up, backing away from me, and turns away from the crowd.
"Yes, I think we have seen enough." Victor says quietly.
The adults behind filing into the house, whispering in low voices. Ralf strides to his friend, levelling a glare at me that could melt flesh. Christian follows with a grim expression. Rose and Lissa seem torn. Lissa looks between me and her friend, her friend that I'd just embarrassed so badly he'd carry it like a wound.
Rose looks at me like she doesn't recognise me and it's too much.
"Don't take it to heart." Spiridon calls over to Mason, sauntering back to the house. "I did and it was a nightmare to get over."
I follow him to resume my post, pausing to say to the girls without meeting either of their eyes. "You should both go inside, it's cold."
"Shit, it's the child catcher." Adrian whispers from the archway. He takes Andre by the elbow and drags him into the other room.
Stone and steel.
I resume my post. Natalie is having a heated conversation with Spiridon in whispers. Victor and the heads are huddled together. Natasha breaks away from the Dragomir's to approach me.
"You had to do it." She says, touching my arm. I wish she wouldn't
I shrug it off. "There were other ways."
"Not as effective." She affirms in a gentle voice. "I bet you need a drink."
"You have no idea." I sigh and she smiles, and for a moment it's simple.
She's my friend and it's not strange, she hasn't done anything behind my back and I haven't behind hers. For a moment she's someone that I could confide in about Karolina, someone who knew my sisters and someone who'd make me walk through it. Through everything that led me to make the choice, why it seemed right at the time and even though it has been so wrong the alternative could have been worse.
But she's not that same friend anymore and the moment passes.
The remaining crowd from outside come back in, laughter in their midst, a salve to what just occurred.
She leans into me. "Kids are resilient."
I nod, eyes flicking between them. Adrian, Andre, and Natalie have taken themselves outside again. Adrian smoking and the crowd steer that way. Spiridon leans forward as Mason and Rose pass him. Mason's hand hovers over the small of her back but drops at whatever Spiridon says. Even from her profile, I can see her scowling. She grabs two drinks from a meandering server and passes one to Mason, and snaps something that leaves Spiridon amused in her wake.
I wish she'd put on a coat, she's just gotten over the flu for fucks sake. Standing in the snow in heels. Infuriating.
"You're worrying." I am 100% sure my face was impassive but she knows me too well.
I turn to her. "I need to talk to you."
Her glacier eyes light, the sun hitting ice. "That sounds crucial."
"Excuse me, Ms. Ozera, Guardian Belikov." We both turn to Alina Balan. "If you wouldn't mind, I would like to hear more about Moroi and Dhampir working side by side. You're proposals."
Proposals? Behind her, Victor is listening intently to Rhea but his eyes drift to us as he raises his glass to his lips.
I'm working.
"Of course." Tasha beams. She explains the classes and how I've assisted with a few, demonstrating different strategies and the advantages. She explains with great pride how far Christian and Lissa have progressed. Balan listening intently, asking a few questions but not giving much away in her own opinions.
The room begins to fill again and Rose comes in wearing someone's jacket, rubbing her foot against her calve. I picture my hands rubbingover it, to warm her, and then scold her for being so reckless. Such an impractical and devastating dress.
"And do you feel your relationship has any influence?" Balan asks.
Tasha wraps an arm around mine and I stiffen. "We trust each other completely, you need to trust your partner. Just like any Moroi/Guardian relationship."
"I see. Thank you." A server appears to refill her glass and she waves them away.
Tasha leans up to my ear. "I think that went well."
I pull out of her hold. "I need to talk to you."
She nods and I lead us into the kitchen where desserts are being plated. I lean against the sink, ignoring the other people bustling about, and she looks at me with an eager expectancy.
"I know it was Victor's idea." I say bluntly. "And you should know that it wasn't something I was considering."
She purses her lips. "Victor told me about your sisters moving back."
"Since when are two having frequent talks and why am I the topic?"
She blanches at my tone but then recovers, that Ozera temper sparking. "For one, he only suggested it because you've been so remote and in your head that it seemed the only way to reach you, and secondly, get over yourself."
"Reach me?"
"Yes." She snaps. "It was a practical avenue to get you to consider a proper relationship. God forbid I try to talk to you about my feelings."
And Rose chooses that moment to come into the kitchen that had vacated at our heated voices.
Tasha makes an impatient noise at the sight of her that makes irritation flare in my core. "Can we have some privacy, please?"
Rose looks taken back and before I can say anything she sets her shoulders. "This is my home. You want privacy? Go outside."
Natalie had been coming up behind her and had been close enough to hear. She tries to cover her snigger with her hand.
Tasha and Rose stare at each other and I can feel the air starting to crackle.
"She's right." Both of them look at me and I step around Tasha to open the back door.
I gesture to her and with one last glare at Rose, Tasha storms out. I try to catch Rose's eye, wanting to convey something, but she's already turned to Natalie.
Outside Tasha waits with her arms crossed. She hadn't a coat and I didn't have one to offer so at least this discussion will be brief.
"I didn't realise you felt that way about me." I say as delicately and as calmly as possible.
"Bullshit."
I really would need a drink after this day. "I didn't. You should have told me sooner instead of discussing it with Victor. You had to know he would try and use it."
"Of course I did but I was tired of nothing getting through to you. Tired of you being so damn passive to everything. Do you know how belittling that was? Not that you weren't interested but you just couldn't see."
"Tasha." I sigh her name, guilt, and frustration.
I hadn't, for some unfathomable reason, been aware of Rose and now I don't think I could go one day without thinking of her or hearing her voice. How could I have ever been acutely aware of how Tasha felt?
'as removed as you are from all sensibility'
Maybe Ben is right.
"I can't apologise for not seeing something I have no reason to have seen, as harsh as that sounds. You know me, you know how important it is that you be direct because…"
"You're emotionally inept?" She says dryly, pale cheeks start to pink from the cold.
I frown but allow it. I could hardly defend myself without implicating a lot.
My ear catches a low sound, like a drawn out whistle. I look toward the tree's but there's no wind.
"Well, here we are and bluntly I am telling you, that I want you."
If this had been a conversation 24 hours ago I'd be at a loss but the response falls easily from my lips. "You lied to me. You went to Victor and tried to manipulate me."
She purses her lips again, looking so much like her brother that I internally recoil. "I shouldn't have done that."
"No."
Not an apology.
She takes a step toward me. "Dimika, we would be could together. What I side at Halloween aside, think about it."
Whether it's a sound or a movement my eyes are drawn up to the window above, the library window which is now open and hadn't been earlier. Tasha follows my eye-line and her mouth falls into a hard press. She stoops to pick up some snow and I realise the hem of her dress is damp. She must be freezing.
She straighten and hurls the ball through the open gap and someone that sounds suspiciously like Natalie lets out a short squeal.
"I have thought about it." I tell her quietly. "I don't feel that way."
"Feelings can come later." She returns, a hint of impatience. No it wouldn't, not the way I know it now, not ever for anyone else.
She glances at the window before stepping closer. "We would accomplish so much together, protect each other and everything I said before still applies. Your family would be mine too, more so, you know I care about them."
I can see it all play out, the next handful of years as her partner and it would be easy. It would be another role, another job, that I would know how to do. Methodical and straightforward, her confidant, her partner in practicality and in private. And down the line when my affection hadn't flourished she would take a lover as most royals do and still it would be easy, I would still know my role.
The whole thing leaves me feeling empty and grieving for what I already have, and what I had is something that isn't guaranteed. Something that we are figuring out every day together and taking it for what it is. Something that was stolen moments, cutting a cold figure whilst burning with anticipation, risking a look or a brush of a hand, and all of that was worth more to me than a lifetime of dependable structure.
Rose could send me away today, tomorrow, or next week and I still wouldn't regret my choices, not one of the single moments with her.
"No. My answer is no." Quietly and firmly.
The disbelief washes over Tasha's wave slowly, drowning out the expectancy. "Why?"
Numerous reasons, ones I have already said once and don't care to repeat in the vein it's taken seriously. The other reasons, the most important, she didn't need to know.
"You should get back to to the party and I should get back to work."
Disbelief becomes anger. "Dimika."
"I'm sorry." And I was, for her disappointment. "But I am not discussing this again."
I walk away.
/
Desserts are served and barely touched as the table is too caught up in loud chatter. Tasha had followed me back after a few minutes without a trace of our conversation on her shoulders. She kissed Christians' cheek, laughed at whatever Lissa had said, and took her seat, lifting her glass and toasting Victor.
I know Spiridon is staring at me but I refuse to indulge him.
Dessert is cleared away and the rotation starts. The Dragomir's Guardians and two from the school arrive and myself, Spiridon, Ben and Moore are excused for a break.
Spiridon immediately falls into a space between Adrian and Balan, tops up their glasses. Ben is called over by Victor and Moore crosses to Tasha's side, greeted enthusiastically by Lissa. Rose is listening intently to whatever Mason and Andre are discussing, half a glass of champagne in her hand.
I slip upstairs before anything else is asked of me, or to me. I bypass my room, rounding the bannister, and decide on the library, the least used room in the house. Natalie and whoever was eavesdropping didn't have the presence of mind to latch the window, and the room was a degree above freezing. I close it and drop into Rose's favoured armchair, deciding against the fire, it could draw attention and the cold helps me think. I have an hour to think.
I'm drawn out of my train of thought as the handle rotates and I brace myself for another harrowing conversation. Rose peeks around the door and the relief is like a rush of adrenaline. She steps in and closes it behind her.
"Your hiding." She determines. Her chocolate eyes are bright and cheeks rosy, the kiss of champagne.
"I am."
"Can I hide with you?"
"Always."
She walks toward me with purposeful steps, pausing by the chair opposite. "You're in my seat."
I rest my head back, sink further. "So I am."
"So can I have it back?"
I smirk. "Now that I've warmed it up for you?"
"Yeah, it's freezing in here. Not that you would notice."
I cross my ankles. "It wouldn't be so cold if the window hadn't been left open."
I anticipate her looking away, some small sign of guilt, but her grin only grows and she shrugs. "Natalie is as nosy as Ben is."
"Mhm."
I pull myself up and the grin fades as she looks up at me. She's right, I don't feel the cold at all.
"You told her no."
I reach out, fingertips brushing over her arm, down to her wrist, and over her gold bracelet. "Of course I did."
Her fingers link with mine.
"You look devastating." I step forward and drinking her in with such greed it consumes me. I notice the goosebumps on her arm and frown. "I should light the fire if you're cold."
"I'm not." She says thickly.
I have a split second to see the look on her face before she reaches for me. All the stress, the anger, the guilt and the frustration of the past twenty-four hours breaks and falls away. The disappointment from having to leave her last night reforms and blazes into a need as she kisses me like she's been starving for me. I walk her back until she hits the bookshelf.
I give into the greed, all sense forsaken, and she does too.
I don't know when she rips out the band but her hands are in my hair, nails raking my scalp and neck causing a chaos of sensation to run down my spine. I have no control of anything. She gasps when my hands leave her waist to grip her ass and pull her up and against me.
"I've been wanting to do that for days." I say against her lips.
Her fingers bite into my shoulders. "I've been wanting you."
Inhale. Exhale.
My nose skims her cheek until my mouths by her ear, hands sliding up to her waist. "I thought you'd taken care of your frustrations." She swallows and I let my hands glide back down, over her hips to the hem of her dress. "Tell me about that?"
Her breathing is ragged and I move back a fraction, sense creeping back in. "Too far?"
"No." She breathes and my fingers curl under the fabric. She drops a hand from my shoulder to my wrist, urging it higher.
Fuck.
Her chin tilts toward me and I capture her mouth again, pushing her back into the bookcase when she moans. My hands slide up her thighs, her dress having no choice but to retreat, and I have the presence of mind to remind her of her promise and she responds by biting my lip.
I am ready to kneel, ready to worship, eager for damnation.
"I thought about you." She says on an exhale, her dress now over her hips.
"Doing this?" My fingers gliding slowly to her inner thigh.
"Yes." She arches against me as my hand moves lightly over the heated material between us. "Please."
I turn her and pull her against my back, one arm caught around her waist as I reach for the summit of underwear, teasing the border. Her head falls back into the crook of my shoulder.
"I've thought about this too." I say and delve inside the material to cup her.
She whimpers and I kiss her to devour it. She blindly gropes for the shelf above. She's so wet all fucking sense of self leave my body and I am just a primal creature drawn in. My fingers slip over the delicate and delicious flesh, teasing against her entrance. My thumb brushes against the spot I'd rather have my mouth on and she makes a desperate noise in her throat.
"You want this?" I murmur.
Her body's taut, one hand clutching my wrist and the other the bookcase. She nods, eyes closed, cheeks flushed and I'm intoxicated. I sink my fingers into her slowly, tongue parting her lips to touch hers. Her hips push back against me as my fingers curl inside her, moving in and out, spurred on by her breathy moans. She lets go of the shelf to reach back for me, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. My hand leaves her waist to cradle her jaw although it's clear she's having difficulty kissing me back.
I withdraw my fingers to swirls the wetness against her clit and she rotates her hips. God, how would that feel if I was completely inside her?
"Do you know how good you feel? On my fingers, on my tongue?" My voice was a rough whisper against her hot cheek. "Like heaven and sin."
She whimpers and because she's an impatient woman she pushes at my wrist. I pull her against me, trying to put the unbearable strain of my trousers to the back of my mind and push inside her. I drive in and out of her drenched heat, trying to smother her gasps with my mouth.
We hadn't locked the fucking door.
I slow my movements. "Roza, as much as I want to hear you the rest of the house can't."
Her chest rises and falls, hips bearing down on my hand of their own violation. My hand travels up over her chest, over her throat to cover her mouth. "Okay?"
She nods, hand leaving my hair to hold the one covering her lips. I press kisses to her neck as I resume my duties. She's writhing under my strokes, that beautiful ass grinding back against me, and someone hearing her might not be the problem. I might be the problem.
'Blyad, Roza."
How long have I been muttering in my mother tongue?
She jerks in one last desperate move, her nails scraping over my wrists. I keep the pace of circling her clit as she comes, crying out against my palm.
Male arrogant pride is a euphoric thing. When her grip eases I follow with my movements, drifting down to her core and pushing two fingers in out of selfish curiosity. I groan and begin muttering again at the wetness there.
Her head falls lazily against my shoulder I remove my hand from her mouth. I hold her to me with one hand and use the other to tug her dress back down. I kiss her forehead and she turns into my chest. We stand there for a few minutes, letting our heart rates return to normal, and this, holding her, is the most peaceful I've felt in days. I bury my nose into her hair.
She kisses my neck and I shiver.
"This was reckless." I murmur.
"Fun though." She says and I chuckle.
Somehow we end up back against the bookcase, only it's my back to the shelves, and she's trying to undo the buttons of my shirt. "Rose, I have to go back. We have to go back. How it is Natalie or Lissa haven't come hunting for you yet?"
She's manages to pop open the top two and I catch her wrists. That doesn't deter her mouth. "Rose."
"I lied. They won't come up."
"I think I've corrupted you."
"I'm not complaining."
Inhale. Exhale.
I try to sober myself and fix her a look, with a sigh she relents. "Fine."
She steps back and I lift her palm to my lips, watching her face soften at the gesture. "I'll stay tonight, I promise."
"Without your jeans."
"Behave." She giggles and my heart expands at the sound. She smooths out her dress and I redo the buttons of my shirt. "Try to drink some water too. Please."
She rolls her eyes.
"Do I look okay?" She asks and then looks apprehensive at my silence.
"Devastating." I repeat quietly.
She raises an eyebrow, a very Spiridon-like gesture. "Isn't that bad?"
"For my self-control it is." That seems to please her but I take her face lightly between my hands, an urgency welling up in me. "You are the most devastating beautiful woman I have ever seen. You amaze me every damn day and don't let anyone make you feel like you don't belong in the room. Understand?"
Those beautiful brown eyes are wide with awe and then they temper, flame encased in woodland, a force to be reckoned with. I let go so only my fingertips graze her jaw, fascinated with the fire.
"Yes." She answers.
"Rose?" A voice from the hallway calls.
I go still and her eyes widen in surprise at the voice. Mason Ashford.
"Answer him." I urge in a hushed voice and she looks at me like I'm insane. I kiss her cheek and then I'm unlatching the window, assessing the drop.
"Dimitri." She hisses.
I flash her my teeth and then I'm gone, landing on the green and striding to the tree line. I suddenly don't feel so guilty about embarrassing that boy.
/
RPOV next - give me a little time. My workload is picking up this week. Major major shoutout to the girls supporting my P.a.t.r.e..o.n, I'm having a ball chatting to yous every day over there. Taylor Swifts - Dress was recommended to me whilst writing this and it works. However when in the library I had 'Don't blame me' on repeat. Vibes.