Nia clutches at her armrests so tight that her knuckles have gone white from the pressure. Her breath feels like it has caught in her throat, and she wonders how much longer she will have to put up with this, it's practically unbearable. It makes her worried for her favourite tiny human, so she turns her head as quickly as she dares without vomiting to sneak a peek.
She makes direct eye contact with Esme as she was already looking at her, as was everyone else, bar Brainy as he was driving. "Are you ok auntie Ni-Ni?"
She swallows thickly. How on Earth, or not on Earth anymore, is everyone just sitting normally as if nothing is happening at all?
Nia doesn't even attempt to answer but luckily she doesn't have to because her boyfriend, Brainy, shouts down from his position to explain. "Naldorians are commonly known as very bad time travellers. They are known to get sick very easily from it, in fact. I would suggest some deep breaths until we have successfully manoeuvred through the time stream. Once we are in the correct time then you will be perfectly fine, just a few more minutes."
"Does it take longer the further back you go?" Lena, ever the scientist is of course trying to figure out how time itself works.
"Not exactly, but the timestream works in strange ways, it discourages you from entering certain times, around critical dates, such as 1978 in the Rao solar system. We are going for four months before krypton was destroyed and the time stream deters anyone from going within a couple of years before a cataclysmic event such as this, it's its way of protecting itself is our best guess. Even Coluans don't have a true understanding of it."
"Great, our plan includes doing something that even time itself doesn't want us to." Alex is always ready to see the darker side of things.
"Well, that is not exactly true, as long as we don't make any waves then the timeline will remain intact, and we won't have any issues." Lena does not want anyone to start spiralling before they had even made it to Krypton.
Kara is sitting catatonic in her own chair, staring despondently at the console in front of her. The seats are angled in such a way that nobody can really get a good enough view of her to see the state that she is in.
Whilst everyone has noticed that Kara hasn't uttered a word since the ship took off, they all just assumed that she was either stressed about the mission, taking some time to think something over or just a nervous flyer. After all, she couldn't possibly be nervous to be returning to her home planet, she always says that she misses it when it gets brought up.
Kara holds more trauma for Krypton than anyone could possibly, reasonably comprehend.
"Please tell me that we are almost there." Nia is white as a sheet by this time.
Her question is not answered verbally but by the abrupt smoothness of their flying. The time turbulence seems to come to an abrupt stop, the ship can now stop shaking, and so can Nia.
They make it through the timestream and come out the other side. Gone is the vision of a swirly green mess of time and in its place is the most decadent shade of red they have ever seen.
Krypton.
Its aura seems to shine bright with a hope that it can't sustain, to glimmer with a disaster waiting to happen and to glisten with an innocence that will soon be shattered.
Somehow, it was still the most beautiful thing they have ever seen.
"It's incredible," Lena whispers under her breath, looking to find Kara, finally understanding. It is only fitting for someone so beautiful to come from a planet that shines with its own beauty.
When she looks around she can see everyone gasping in awe at the glory of Kara's home planet but can't find Kara herself, just the back of her chair, hiding her from view.
"We will have to stay here for a few hours so I can prepare for landing, I suggest you all go and rest while you still can." Brainy interrupts everyone's infatuation and shoos them out of their seats and out of the cockpit.
Once Lena is out of her seat she heads right on over to Kara, a bad feeling brewing in her stomach. Something isn't right.
"Kara?"
She doesn't get a response.
Lena leans over the side of the chair, taking in the state of Kara for the first time.
"Kara, are you ok?" Kara simply stares right ahead, not registering what is happening around her at all. "Can you hear me?"
The commotion draws Brainy near. "Oh no, I had feared this would happen."
Lena whips her head up to him. "What the hell is that meant to mean?"
Brainy leans closer to Kara's face, snapping his fingers in front of her, simply just assessing.
"There was always the possibility this would happen, although there was a higher probability of it happening once we had actually landed than before." Lena looks at him blankly. "Kara is having a physical reaction because she hasn't been processing her emotions properly. Her body has temporarily shut down to help her cope with the overflow of trauma this mission has brought up for her."
Lena flounders. "But- but she was coping, we just had a conversation about emotions not that long ago and she was alright."
Brainy gives her a sympathetic pat on her shoulder. "This may have been caused by the recent stress but her real issue is deep-seated trauma from Krypton and we just brought her back to the root of all of her pain. Based on her reaction times of her blinking to my snaps, she has been like this since we entered the timestream. Her body went into defence mode to protect her mind."
Lena wipes her hand down her face. "I'm going to get Alex. She needs to go to the med bay."
"Negative. This is not a medical emergency. She will come out of it on her own, I suggest grounding techniques will draw her back to reality much quicker than to leave her."
She can practically feel her blood pressure rising. "What do you suggest?"
"We will move her to the ground, you sit and hold her. The stability of the floor will bring her back to reality and the comfort will ease her mind."
He sounds so sure that she doesn't even question him, just follows his instructions. Together they get her on the floor, which is an easier task than expected since Kara still held her own weight, allowing herself to be led to the ground, sitting with her back to Lena's front.
Lena wraps her arms tight around her middle as her head sinks back on her shoulder.
She simply squeezes her tight and waits.
She doesn't know what happened. One second she was trying to picture Krypton from her childhood memories, preparing herself for what is to come and the next…nothing.
Her mind just went completely blank, she doesn't remember the trip. She doesn't remember somehow getting out of her seat. She certainly doesn't understand how she ended up on the floor, between the legs of Lena Luthor no less.
She is warm. She can feel her steady breaths against the back of her neck and the comforting pressure of her hands, one pressed into her collarbone, her forearm pinning her and the other wrapped slightly looser across her stomach.
She doesn't understand so she just leans back further and breathes deeply, sucking in a breath she didn't realize she needed.
Lena seems to pick up on her sudden rush back to reality and tightens her grip, pulling her back more, despite there being nowhere for her to go as they were already pressed flush against one another.
"L-Lena?" She croaks out, her mouth is dry, and her tongue feels too big for her mouth.
"Shh, don't try to talk yet Darling. Just take some more deep breaths for me, don't worry about anything else." Kara doesn't think she has ever heard Lena talk so softly and she is enchanted, she can barely find it in her to care that she clearly just passed out in some way.
At some point, Lena must have begun rocking them gently until they are interrupted by Brainy and Alex.
"Kara! What happened? Are you alright?" Alex is quick to kneel before her, tilting her head back to take a good look at her face.
"I don't know what happened, I don't remember anything." She croaks out. Brainy is quick to hand her a bottle of water.
"I was correct in assuming that you would be requiring water upon your regaining of consciousness, that gives me more confidence in my calculations that you just had a minor mental shutdown."
Alex shoots him a glare, "Excuse me?"
"Well, that is the easiest way to describe it. You couldn't cope with the stress and trauma of our trip, so your brain temporarily locked you out of the metaphorical driver's seat to protect itself."
"I guess I should have scheduled some mental breakdown time into the mission then." Kara chuckles awkwardly, not knowing what to do under the watchful gazes.
She begins to try to lean forward when she becomes aware of the fact that she is still leaning her full weight into Lena, but she is simply pulled back. "Don't try to move yet, just rest for as long as you can."
Brainy's expression goes blank for a second as he begins to do complex calculations in his head. "We will be proceeding with the landing in seven hours and forty-three minutes. I believe that it would be best for Kara to move into one of the guest rooms until that time, if you move with haste, you may even fit in five sleep cycles instead of four."
Alex and Lena share a look and within seconds, Kara finds herself being manhandled, each woman has wrapped one of her arms around their shoulders, pinning them in place with a hand at each wrist and she finds herself doing the closest thing to floating that is possible under a red sun.
"My legs do work." She grumbles.
"They barely did a few minutes ago so you're going to humour us and go take a nap or I'm pulling the plug on this whole mission." Alex is giving her the big sister glare which means that she won't be taking a no for an answer.
She doesn't complain again but if she tilted her head more towards Lena for the rest of the trip as she pouted her way to the guest room that she will be staying in temporarily then who could really blame her?
Between the two of them, Lena and Alex convinced Kara to lie down on the bed. She made a show of settling down for a nap so that they would leave the room and consequently, her alone.
As soon as the door shut she stood back up, feeling a little bit woozy but not willing to stop on her endeavour. She stumbles on the way to the window, tearing at the blind so she can see her home. Except it's not, not anymore.
It's just as beautiful as she remembers. She feels a little bit jealous that the others got to see it before her but then again, life is unfair.
She longs to touch the surface and can feel the magnetism of the planet drawing her near, like an old friend coming to visit, to get reacquainted.
She whispers to Krypton, "Hello again, old friend. I've spent many a night longing for this moment."
She smiles to herself, but it doesn't reach her eyes, she can't lie even to herself. Coming back to her planet is worse than never seeing it again. Now she just gets to lose it twice. She will be living with the knowledge that with each step she takes, she is one step closer to losing it all once again.
It may not be the same this time, she will have a home to go to and her family on Earth, but the pain still bleeds free, a fresh wound not yet stitched.
She stares for as long as she can take it, half expecting it to obliterate before her eyes, just as it does in her memories, but it remains steady. The calm before the storm.
Kara eventually staggers back to the bed, today's event having drained all of her energy. She falls into a fitful sleep, both nervous and excited to finally be back on her own planet.
Lena knocks on the door lightly so that she doesn't startle her friend. She's spent the last few hours trying to do anything other than come and check on Kara, she understands that she needs her rest and her privacy, but she is most definitely shaken from the earlier events.
"Come in." The voice on the other side sounds strong, confident even.
She breezes into the room, finding Kara in the centre of the room, cross-legged on the floor with her eyes closed.
"I'm doing some meditation to strengthen the mind before we land. It feels really good to be doing it back under Rao's light again. Would you like to join me?"
She eyes her for a second, trying to determine what state she is in.
"Sure, can you show me?" Lena steps closer, unsure of herself. It's not often she comes across something that she doesn't know how to handle.
Kara pats the floor next to her, never opening her eyes. "I can feel you staring, just look ahead and close your eyes."
Lena mimics Kara's position next to her. Facing the open blinds and sitting in the red light. It's oddly calming, she wasn't sure what reaction she would have to the red sunlight, but she decides its warm tingly embrace is pleasant, much like Kara's own embrace. It's fitting.
She does as she's told, waiting for further instructions. Kara speaks in a low whisper. "Clear your mind and just imagine you're surrounded by candles, burning brightly. Imagine they smell like a forest, like pine and something floral. We'd usually actually have candles, but I only brought one and it's in my travel pack."
Lena does her best to picture it and finds the image much quicker than she had anticipated. She has tried to mediate before but never actually succeeded because her mind wanders.
Somewhere in the background, she hears Kara speaking in Kryptonese in the background, her low voice echoing around the room, filling up her senses.
Her mind is filled with pictures of tall trees and beautiful meadows, autumn leaves crunching beneath her feet and a warm wind circling her, dancing with the warm rays of a red light that peeks out between the leaves.
"Find the strength in your mind, in the image you see."
Lena sees the strong trunks of the trees and the flexibility in the flower stems, bending in the wind but never breaking. She sees the leaves refusing to burn in the sunlight, instead feeding off its energy. She feels the ground, the soil movable but indestructible, she finds herself in all of these things.
"You are the strength you see, Lena."
She sees the picture change and suddenly, she can see herself, there is a mirror on every tree, and she can see her reflection. She is smiling, dressed not in a power suit or a fancy dress, just simple jeans and a flowy green shirt. She's smiling. Happy. Strong.
"I am the strength you see too."
She disappears from the mirror and sees Kara instead. Soft eyes, no wrinkles from stress or pain, every feature relaxed and a serene look upon her face. The super suit is nowhere to be seen but her crest still sits upon her chest. She's wearing a baby blue dress in a cut that is clearly a Kryptonian style. Lena has never seen her look so beautiful.
"Our team is our strength. We're stronger together."
One by one the team appears behind Kara, some in their suits, others in ordinary clothes. All the best versions of themselves. All the embodiment of strength and serenity. All standing together as one.
"El Mayarah."
The image fades and the air begins to clear, she loses the scent of the forest and opens her eyes, coming back to reality.
Lena turns to face Kara, finding her smiling softly at her. "Well, I feel much better now. How did you find it?"
"I don't know what sorcery you have but that was incredible. Thank you."
Kara stands slowly, offering Lena a helping hand and pulling her up. "Don't thank me, thank Rao's light."
"I never took you for the religious type." Lena keeps her voice low, unwilling to break the calming tone of the room.
"I was when I was a child but lost it over the years. I can count on one hand how many times I've meditated since becoming Supergirl, it's never been the same though. Nothing can compare to being under Rao's light, something that I'm sure you can understand now."
Lena takes her hand, both of them staring out at Krypton, basking in the light of Rao.
Kara walks with a skip in her step, Esme giggling as she clings to her back, her little hands around the base of her neck. She deposits the little one into her chair and buckles her in, tucking her teddy bear in next to her tightly and pretending to buckle him in too to garner a laugh.
She knows that the news of what happened has reached Kelly and Nia too, Esme being the only one oblivious since she is still too young to understand. She also knows that they are all watching her like hawks.
She feels much better since her meditation session with Lena, but she knows it isn't a fix-all solution. Hopefully, the team hasn't lost faith in her or the mission.
They all sit back down, ready to begin descending. Nia swapped seats with her at Alex's insistence, and she can't blame her big sister for being worried, so she doesn't fight it. It actually makes her feel a little bit better now she has a clear view of her big sister from her seat.
Brainy gets ready to allow the ship to begin its descent. He shows Kara where to input the override codes. "I'll let you know when to start inputting the codes. We want to make the system kick in at the very last second as planned.
"Thanks, brainy, I practised a few times back in the tower and it took me between three and a half to four seconds to input the code each time, however, I would add an extra second on that since we will be in the middle of a very shaky crash landing when I will be trying to type it out."
"I like the way you think." He heads over to Esme and double-checks her seat belt. "Are you ready Miss Esme?"
"Yes!" She grins at him. "My moms said it will be scary, but I will be brave."
Kelly and Alex turn their heads to watch the interaction.
Kelly leans out of her seat a little to get more into Esme's view. "Remember what I said, if you get too scared, close your eyes and squeeze your teddy bear, we'll all be able to give you cuddles when we land to make you feel better."
"I know, I'm ready!" Esme wriggles excitedly in her seat as if they were about to be on a roller coaster ride.
Alex's head swivels between Esme and Kara, unsure of who to keep her eyes on but her eyes snap shut once Brainy begins to career them down into Krypton's atmosphere. The lights go out and the only light is coming from the control panel as the emergency display shows up, the ship fighting against a crash landing as it takes some minor damage from the entry.
They make it through the atmosphere quickly and the ground become visible very quickly, getting closer by the second. Kara's hand is poised to input the codes, looking at the fast-approaching ground and praying that Brainy's calculations are right as she awaits his command.
"Now, Kara!" He shouts as the ship whines.
Her fingers shake a little with the adrenaline as she tries not to mistype the code, something she wasn't scared about doing until this exact moment.
The second she hits enter the lights flick back on and their speed dramatically begins to decrease but they can all now see the large stretch of desert that they will be smashing into very soon.
The sandhill doesn't know what's about to hit it. They do. Hard.
They all jolt forward harshly when they make impact.
Every member of the team prioritises one person, so they all unclip their seat belts and turn to check on Esme. They expect her to be frightened or hurt from the landing but instead, they find her giggling to herself and kicking her legs excitedly. "That was fun! Can we go again?"
They exchange smiles between them, Brainy and Nia standing close with their arms around each other's waist and Kelly and Alex hugging Esme between them once she is out of her seat.
Lena places her hand on Kara's arm, silently asking her if she's alright.
Kara places her hand on top of Lena's, showing her that yes, she is.
Brainy then begins pressing buttons and switches, making sure that the ship can't be tracked. "Alright, we landed within our target zone so we should be safe. I will direct you on which way to start heading from the ship but from there you will be on your own, good luck team."
They all head down to exit the ship. Kara exits first, stepping onto Krypton for the first time in decades.
"Honey, I'm home."
The team try to suppress their smiles.
"Can you try to be less cheesy? We have to put up with you for several months you know." Alex throws Kara's pack down to her.
"You all love it really." She heaves the bag onto her back, pulling her jacket over her arms more, she doesn't feel like coming back from the mission sunburnt.
They all drag their belongings onto their backs, Alex and Kara splitting Esme's between them. Esme has a little backpack with her teddy and a lowered power Mp3 device Lena had made for her so she can listen to stories whilst they are travelling. Brainy joins them down on the ground briefly, lecturing them about wearing their hats to protect them from the sun and telling them which way to start heading.
"See you in a few months' time." They all hug him and give him and Nia a couple of minutes to say goodbye.
Alex, Kelly and Lena take the time to check on Kara before they officially begin to head off. "How is it?" She looks at them confused. "Being back on Krypton?"
"Honestly…I don't know." She thinks about it a bit more. "It hurts, but it also feels like coming home."
"Sounds pretty reasonable to me." Kelly smiles warmly at her.
Nia scrambles over the sand towards them, tears in her eyes as she wraps her hands around the straps of her pack. "Let's go people, it's a nine-hour walk to get off the desert into the grassland and I really don't want to wake up tomorrow with sand in my crevices."
Lena tries not to laugh. "Me neither."
And so, they set off, ready to take on the day.
They walk for almost an hour over the sand before someone other than Esme talks, the little one has been rattling to them all since they left. She'll definitely keep their spirits high.
"I'm now just realizing that it was probably a mistake to not train for the amount of walking we are about to do," Lena complains as her feet sink into the sand as she tries to walk up the slight incline.
Kara offers her arm to help her up wordlessly.
She takes it with a smile.