"Isn't it lovely, all alone?
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone,
Tear me to pieces, skin and bone,
Hello, welcome home."
-Lovely, Billie Eilish
A/N: Intended to be read after chapter 24.
Hidan dragged a thin stick behind him, making a wobbly trail in the dirt as he walked.
The grown-ups were always trying to stop him, telling him that though the war was over, it was still too dangerous to wander outside the village alone.
He stuck his tongue out. Feh. What did they know, anyway?
He left every day and nothing bad happened.
He stopped when he heard the gurgle of a geyser on his left. Steam and water bubbled out of a rocky cone sticking out of the ground. He stepped closer, waiting and watching until it burst with an explosion of water, spraying pillars high into the sky.
He thought they might touch the clouds.
He stared at it in awe, not even minding when he was doused with warm water.
Steam poured out of the geyser, clinging to his skin like a coat. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. He had to breathe through his mouth.
Still, he stood there until the spray sputtered and stopped, leaving only the muggy heat and the water that soaked through his sandals.
Only then did he turn away, humming as he resumed his stroll. He looked past the sunken patches of earth filled with steaming water, the leafless trees that persisted in the heat, searching for another geyser.
The small ones erupted several times a day. He ignored the big ones entirely as they only erupted once every few years or longer.
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.
.
Hidan found four more geysers before he walked into a cloud of gas.
It was up his nose before he thought to stop, and he choked hard and stumbled back. His eyes watered so much he couldn't see.
He tasted rotten eggs on his tongue.
He waved a hand in front of face, gasping as he backed away, and his sandal caught on a rock. He fell flat on his ass, but barely noticed as he spit, gulping down fresh air to clear the smell.
What the hell was that?
Holding his nose, he tentatively reached forward, fingers closing and opening around air. He didn't feel anything.
It just smelled like shit.
He tried to wipe the taste off his tongue, but only managed in adding the flavor of dirt.
"Fucking gross," he coughed again, shuddering all over. Grabbing the stick he dropped, he stood, staring at the invisible cloud of death and ass in front of him.
What could make a smell like that?
Hidan eyed the air for a few seconds, then leaned forward and took a cautious whiff. A second round assaulted his senses and he cursed, flailing.
If he found the source, what the hell would that smell like?
He squinted up at the sun. It was in the middle of the sky, blinding him with its brilliance. He blinked the white spots out of his vision as he sized up the cloud again.
As long as he was back before sunset, no one would come looking for him.
Hidan pulled off his shirt, struggling to pull the stick through the sleeves, and wrapped it as much as he could around his nose and mouth. He stepped forward to test his makeshift mask.
It still smelled bad, but it was mostly just his own sweaty shirt.
Nodding to himself, he set out to find the source.
.
.
.
It didn't take long for him to find the cave.
The entrance looked like a huge mouth, with sharp jutting rocks for teeth and raised slaps of purple-brown that made up its tongue.
Hidan prodded the "tongue" and walls with his stick, but the they seemed stable.
He stepped up to the opening, leaning in and—
He jerked back, yanking down his shirt to cough and hack and spit. The smell was worse, and his shirt didn't help at all.
He was going to make himself sick at this rate.
He wondered if he could take back whatever pile of shit was causing the smell. His mom would throw a shitfit if he stashed it in the house. He imagined the way people's faces would seize up, all pinched eyes and flaring nostrils, and then he was laughing.
Oh, he had to find the source now.
He pulled his shirt back up, sheltering his mouth and nose in the crook of his elbow. Then, gathering his courage, Hidan ducked inside.
His sandals immediately sunk and stuck in dirty looking sand. After a few feet of awkwardly walking and cursing, he kicked them off.
When he looked back up, he saw a body. It was facedown, both arms missing, a rusty blade sticking up out of its back.
Hidan stopped for a second, blinking at it. He poked it with a stick, but the body didn't move.
They were dead.
He couldn't tell if the smell was from them or whatever was further inside. It made him think of the old man that used to live next door to him. No one noticed he died until days after, when the smell filled the alley and seeped through the thin walls.
There were more bodies in front of him.
Girls and boys, grown-ups, ones that were gray-haired and wrinkly.
They were all dead.
Some of them were still bleeding.
Hidan cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hello?" he called, muffled.
No one answered him.
He looked around at the bodies again, and felt uneasy. He rubbed his arm.
People died all the time.
This is just what happened sometimes.
He made himself walk forward, deeper into the cave, giving the bodies a wide berth.
He saw the red glow before he saw the pool. Steam poured out of it, hot enough that he couldn't stand in it, let alone get close enough to take some.
There were more bodies here, too.
He ignored them though, focusing solely on the pool. Hidan leaned forward as much as he could, stretching to poke it with his stick.
The bottom of it came away red.
It smelled slightly better, and he didn't know if it was because he'd burned his nostrils, or he was getting used to it.
A line of red water dribbled from a crack in the pool and stained the sand beneath another body. A woman. He crouched down next to her, avoiding looking at the blood on her face. He dipped his fingers in the red around, but it felt less like water and a lot more like blood.
He couldn't take this back. Huffing, Hidan backed off.
There was nothing for him here.
Once he was back outside and far away from the gas, he put his shirt back on the right way.
運命
Atsushi waved as he walked up to the village gate. A white eyepatch covered his right eye.
The sign at the top of the gate was all curved lines and looping symbols, but he knew it said 'Yugakure'.
"Back from adventuring already, huh?" Atsushi asked, bending down to one knee. "What'd you find this time?"
Takkao, standing on the opposite side of the gate, shook his head. "The Chief said we're supposed to be discouraging him."
"I found this," Hidan poked Atsushi's chest with his stick, ignoring Takkao. "It was in a geyser. One of the big, shitty ones."
"Oh, wow," Atsushi said. He smiled. "Where'd you go to find a red one?"
Hidan blinked. He looked at the red end of his stick. "Oh. I found this huge cave with a bunch of bodies inside—"
Atsushi went very still.
"—and there was this red pool that was way, way inside. It looked like blood, but it was too hot to touch so I don't know. And it smelled like ass."
Atsushi's smile looked stiffer, somehow. "Was this cave you found northeast of the village?"
Hidan poked him again. "I don't fucking know."
Atsushi paused. "Could you describe the smell, Hidan?"
"Ass, like I said. Like complete shit."
Atsushi exchanged a glance with Takkao, who shrugged.
"If he found the Chinoike Clan, it's no surprise they all died. That place is inhospitable. I'm only shocked there were bones left for him to find."
"I said bodies, not bones," Hidan huffed at Takkao. He held up his hand, still smeared with blood, and Atsushi's eyes widened. "Don't you fucking listen?"
Atsushi took him by the arms, forcing Hidan to face him. "Was anyone moving? Did they talk to you?"
"Shit for brains," Hidan insulted him. "They can't talk if they're dead."
"He could be making all this up," Takkao said, hand on his hip. "I don't believe for a second that those Cloud bastards held out in there all this time."
Atsushi looked down at his bare feet. "No," he said slowly. "I don't think he is."
"Fuck you," Hidan shouted at Takkao.
Atsushi squeezed his arms, drawing his attention. "How old are you again, Hidan?"
Hidan consulted his hands. He held up seven fingers, holding the stick between his legs.
"Right," Atsushi dragged out the word. "You should head on home then."
"Why'd you want to know so much about them, anyway?"
Atsushi stood, a hand on his back, steering him through the gate. "Curiosity," he said lightly. "Takkao and I heard of a clan that lived out there a long time ago, but we didn't believe it."
Hidan shrugged off his hand. He turned around to ask another question, but Atsushi had already left. He was standing close to Takkao, talking too low for him to hear.
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.
.
Hidan took his sweet time walking home.
He took the long way, swinging his stick around like a sword, making swishing noises to himself.
He didn't notice the eyes on him, growing wide when they saw the crimson on his stick. Nor did he hear the muffled gasps when they saw the red covering the bottom of his feet, or the murmurs as they stared at his hands.
He wouldn't hear the rumors that spread around the village like wildfire, growing wilder and less true with each person that passed it on.
He was a boy who returned during a time of peace covered in blood, then, once news of what happened to the Chinoike clan broke out, he was the boy who desecrated their corpses and played in their blood.
Finally, he was the boy who carried a sword into a cave and murdered them all.
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.
.
Hidan turned down a narrow sidewalk made of cracked cobblestone, wisps of plants poking through the holes.
The houses that lined the path were all broken shingles and faded paint, small and huddled together. A long, white-brown wall was on his left, stretching all the way down. He couldn't see the end.
An unfamiliar man stood in his doorway. He could see his mom's flowery robe through the gap, her bare legs. The man handed her a handful of folded yen and strode quickly away, angling his face away as he went by.
Hidan stared at the man's back until he couldn't see him anymore.
His mom waited for him, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. She was young, with wavy gray hair and purple eyes that were darker than his. He knew, because he'd seen other kids with their parents, and their mom's looked way older.
Her hand shot out when he was close, pinching his ear, squeezing until he yelped. "You left the village again, didn't you, you little shit?"
He didn't ask about the man who left. It wasn't uncommon for her to be visited by men who gave her money.
"You bitch!" he cried, pushing and pulling at her hand.
She shook him. "How many times do I have to tell you the same shit before you get it through your thick ass head? Don't fucking leave the village."
"Fuck you!" he shouted.
She paused, leaning forward, peering back and forth at the houses around them. "Stop fucking cursing," she hissed. "You'll make me look like a bad mom. I taught you better than that."
Hidan inhaled, "Go suck a—"
A hand covered his mouth and dragged him struggling and kicking back into the house. She kicked the door closed.
Hidan freed his mouth enough to sink his teeth into her fingers.
She jerked away with a gasp, shaking her hand out. "You little asshole," she said in disbelief.
"You're a shitty mom," he shouted.
"Yeah? Well you're a shitty son," she hissed back at him. She lunged forward, her arm going around his neck, her knuckles against his skull. "Show me some respect, you ass. You'd be fucking dead without me."
Hidan flailed and fought the hold. "You're the ass, ass!"
She squeezed him harder, rubbing down until it hurt.
Hidan thrashed, tripped on a rug, and sent them both tumbling to the floor.
His mom gasped when he landed on top of her, but kept her hold on him. "Ready to apologize now, or should I keep going until all your fucking hair falls out?"
"Fuck," he gasped. "you!"
"Why are you such a stubborn piece of shit?" she asked. "And stop cursing!"
Hidan punched and kicked, but he couldn't escape. Exhausted, he went limp.
She waited a second before finally shoving him off her. He flopped to the ground, cheek pressed against the floorboards, unable to do anything but pant.
"You see this?" she pulled the bottom of her robe open, showing him the bruise where his elbow connected with her side. "Little asshole."
She slowly pushed herself up, wincing, and shuffled to the small kitchen. "What the fuck do you want to eat?" she asked, flicking on a dim light.
Hidan almost didn't answer, but then his stomach growled, betraying him. "Spareribs," he eventually grumbled, sitting up.
"Don't fucking sulk or I won't make you anything."
Hidan stuck out his tongue.
噂
"Hidan," his mom called, stopping him as he passed by their room. "I need you to go out and buy some shit for me."
He frowned.
"Don't bitch," she said before he could speak. "My knee has been fucking with me all day. Just shut the fuck up and do this for me, okay?"
Hidan eyed her knees. The left one looked fine, but the right was swollen and red. He held up a rubber sloth toy. "I'm busy," he informed her.
He squeezed it and it made a soft little wheeze.
She sighed. "Stop being a difficult little shit and I'll think about making pork ramen tonight," she offered. "God knows you've been up my ass about it all week."
Hidan's eyes lit up.
She pointed at a scrap of paper at the end of the bed. Crumpled ryo sat on top. "Get what's on that list, and you can spend the rest on whatever pointless shit you want."
He dropped the sloth on the floor and stepped into the room to take the paper and the money and stuff both in his pocket. "That's all you had to say."
She grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. "Cheeky shit."
Hidan held up his middle finger as he backed out of the room.
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.
.
The grocery store was a big building near the back of the market made of cracked wood and sagging support beams. Stalls were set up in a half-circle around it, yapping about their cheaper vegetables or exotic weapons.
Hidan stopped in front of the entrance, pulling out the crumpled list. He recognized the character for 'water', the ones for 'pork slices', and 'milk'.
He squinted. The rest he'd figure out later.
Pocketing the list, he went to enter the store when a broom blocked his way.
Hidan looked at it, then up at the fat man holding onto it.
"Go somewhere else," the bastard said, staring above his head. "We don't want your business."
Hidan frowned. "Why the fuck not?"
The man sighed and looked down at him. His eyes were full of distaste. "Look, I don't have to explain myself to you. Go somewhere else," he ordered. "There are plenty of people around here willing to serve someone like you."
"But I have money," he protested, raising his voice. "You let other people in and you don't even know if they have fucking money."
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
The fat man's eyes went wide.
Atsushi stepped up next to him, smiling, not looking when Hidan shook him off. "What seems to be the problem here?" he asked pleasantly. He was dressed like a shinobi, his brown hair cut shorter than normal.
Hidan pointed. "This fucking asshole—"
"Let me talk to him first, okay?" Atsushi interrupted him. "Could you wait behind me, Hidan?"
"You're a fucking dipshit if you think—"
Atsushi pushed him. Not enough to hurt, but he stumbled back.
Hidan glared at him, but Atsushi had stepped closer to the fat man, talking in low whispers, not looking in his direction. "Fucking asshole," he grumbled, crossing his arms.
After a few seconds the fat man gestured at him, and he heard the word 'monster'.
He didn't know what it meant, but the way it was said sounded like an insult. "Fuck you," he shouted at the fat bastard. "Unflushed piece of shit."
People stopped to stare, but Hidan didn't give a shit.
Atsushi turned. "Hidan—"
"Fuck you too!"
"—why don't you tell me what you need, and I'll go in and get it for you?"
Hidan sniffed, digging around in his pocket for the list. "Why can't I go in and get it my fucking self?"
Atsushi came closer, crouching in front of him. "Because he's an asshole," he quietly answered.
Hidan looked at him in surprise. He could count the number of times he heard Atsushi curse on half of one hand.
"But he can't keep me out, because I'm a shinobi," Atsushi went on. "He'll get in trouble if he does."
Hidan handed over the list and the money. "Don't spend it on useless shit."
Atsushi nodded, smoothing the list out on his knee. "Wait here, okay? I won't take long."
"You better fucking not."
モンスター
Hidan was twelve years old and a genin of Yugakure.
He sat on the right side of a loose circle. Mina was on her knees next to him, hands folded in her lap, wearing colorful bracelets around each wrist. Junchiro was on his far left, expression serious, head shaved.
Chiharu-sensei crouched across from them, pulling a scroll out of his back pouch.
Hidan had graduated three weeks before.
He never gave a shit about the Academy, but then the Third Shinobi World War began when he was eight and he didn't have much of a choice at all.
He used to be angry about it. Bitter that he had to spend most of his time in school over doing whatever the fuck he wanted.
But then they taught him how to read. Not what he'd been doing before, only knowing what a few words meant because he'd seen them before, but to really read.
He was behind all the kids that started when they were six, but he felt pride every time he looked at a sign and the words made sense in his head.
Chiharu-sensei raised the scroll. "All we have to do is hand this over to Iwagakure," he explained.
He looked younger than his mom, all soft hands and worried eyes. "Who we give it to ultimately doesn't matter, as long as they can live long enough to deliver it to the Tsuchikage," he continued. "If, at any point during the mission, I give any of the scroll and tell you to run, do it without question."
Junichiro nodded firmly. Mina frowned, her nod slower, hesitant. Hidan didn't bother responding.
It sounded easy enough.
"This scroll has important intel about Konohagakure. No matter what, we can't allow Konohagakure or Sunagakure to get their hands on it. Destroy it if you must," Chiharu-sensei told them, slipping it back into his pack.
"We know that a group from Iwagakure took over an abandoned outpost in Fire Country, southeast of Takigakure. We'll go there first, find a commander, and hand it off. If we can't, we'll pass into Iwagakure itself. As this is primarily a stealth mission, we'll avoid combat at all costs. If we find them at the outpost, it'll take us two to three days to get there. Prepare accordingly."
Junchiro raised his hand. "What do we do if we have to fight?"
Chiharu-sensei paused. "I'll distract them so one of you three can get away with the scroll. Keep heading in the direction we were going and stay together. Our first priority is finishing the mission no matter what."
"I understand, sensei," Junichio said.
Mina raised her hand. "Will we still be sent to help out more when we come back?"
"No," Chiharu answered firmly. "I'll talk to the Chief about it. This is a one-time thing. You guys aren't ready for combat missions. If we're fast, we should be able to make it back in four to five days."
Hidan stood, adjusting his headband. He wouldn't be able to explore, but it was still a chance to see something new that wasn't the same old geysers and hot springs.
Chiharu-sensei glanced at him, then his teammates. "Get everything you think you'll need and meet back here in two hours."
"Yes, sensei!"
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.
.
His mom hovered behind him as he stuffed a pouch haphazardly full of shuriken and kunai.
"Listen to everything your fucking sensei says, you hear me?" she asked, limping closer. "Don't be a stubborn piece of shit."
Hidan rolled his eyes, flicking the flap on his pack closed. "Yeah, yeah, I fucking know."
She grabbed his arm and made him turn around. "You fucking don't," she told him. "It's shitty out here. I'd take a fucked-up leg and this shitstain of a house any day over spending another hour out there."
Hidan scowled. "I don't want to hear your fucking sob story."
His mom lunged forward suddenly, and he stiffened, bracing for a headlock.
Her arms went around him instead. "Little shit," she murmured, squeezing him tight.
Hidan stared at her, uncomfortable, and eventually squirmed out of the hold. "What's fucking wrong with you?"
His mom stood fast, turning her face away, shoving him towards the door. "Hurry up and fucking go. You're pissing me off."
Hidan glanced back, but she had her back to him. Whatever.
悪魔
When they crossed the border into Fire Country, Hidan discovered what a forest was.
He thought he knew before, but the trees here shit all over the ones back home. It would take five of the stick-thin trees from Yugakure to make the base of one here.
Chiharu-sensei had them camp during the day and they only went anywhere when the moon was out. He taught them to hide and disappear in the shadows of the larger trees, how to hold their breaths for longer if they hid in a bush.
They tied themselves to the highest branches with the most cover when the sun came up.
Chiharu-sensei never slept with them, always keeping watch.
.
.
.
He watched Mina's eyes widen, saw her suddenly too tight grip on her kunai.
Hidan looked up and his own eyes shot open. A stranger stood behind Chiharu-sensei, on a branch just ahead, holding a kunai to his throat. He wore a black overcoat.
Junichiro sucked in. "Chiharu-sensei," he shouted and leapt, throwing shuriken.
There was a blur of movement in front of Junichiro and a second figure in green deflected the shuriken, appearing in front of him. A fist connected with the Junichiro's cheek before Hidan could shout a warning.
The shinobi caught him as he fell.
Hidan's fingers twitched towards his weapons pouch.
"No one else do anything stupid," the man holding Chiharu-sensei hostage said, forcing his sensei to turn, enough for Hidan to see that the kunai had nicked him. A thin line of blood ran down his neck.
What should he do?
The scroll. The mission. But he didn't have it. Chiharu-sensei did.
Chiharu-sensei made a grab for his pouch, and the kunai at his throat was suddenly hilt-deep in his shoulder. Hidan flinched when Chiharu-sensei cried out.
Mina's hands flew up to cover her mouth.
What the fuck should he do?
Chiharu-sensei was a captive. Junichiro was tucked under the arm of the second man. If he moved, they both would die.
The mission came first.
His fists clenched. He could still go for the scroll, hope Chiharu-sensei made good on his promise to be the distraction and...
And leave his teammates to die.
The mission came first.
The man holding his sensei captive had a scar on his face, a blue bandanna covering his head. "This isn't a good place for this," the scarred man said, looking at something behind him.
Someone behind him.
"Let's take them somewhere quieter."
Hidan spun, saw a flash of blond hair, and then something hit the back of his neck.
.
.
.
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He came back to consciousness slowly.
His vision was hazy when he made his eyes open, and it was a few seconds before the noise around him filtered in. Chiharu-sensei, sounding ragged. Mina's haggard breathing.
"They're children," Chiharu-sensei argued.
His weapons pouch was gone. He was laying on his side, hands tied behind his back.
The scarred man stood in front of Chiharu-sensei, hands folded behind him "Children who know too much," he countered coldly. "Do you really think I'll trust your word that they know nothing about this? You're young, but not a fool."
Two other shinobi stood behind the scarred bastard. The man who'd knocked out Junichiro, and the blond woman who'd taken him out.
The scarred man shook his head. "Do you really think Konoha so soft that I won't torture children?"
Chiharu-sensei's left eye was swollen shut, his nose bleeding.
"For all I know," the scarred man began, sweeping a gloved hand at them. "One of the children could know everything, and even if I take the scroll with me, this information could still fall straight into Iwagakure's lap should I let them go."
The scarred man turned his back on Chiharu-sensei. "You've made your allegiance quite clear, Yugakure-nin. I don't bargain with the enemy."
"Even if I knew, I would never tell you," Junichiro spat, glaring at him, fighting to break himself free.
The scarred man looked at him for a moment. It was like he didn't see them as people anymore. "Enough of this," he said to his subordinates. "An interrogation would be a waste of time. Kill them all and burn the bodies. Iwagakure must be kept in the dark about this for as long as possible."
And it occurred to Hidan that he was going to die. This... was nothing like he thought it would be.
"Captain," the blond interjected, still standing at attention. "Is it really necessary to kill the children? If we confirm that they really don't know anything—"
"We let the kids go, and one of two things happen," the scarred man interrupted her. "They go to Iwagakure, alert them that a three-man team from Konoha stole a scroll containing damaging information from them, and Iwagakure responds by doing everything they can to intercept us before we reach Konoha. Or, they go back to Yugakure and the leader there will be alerted to the fact that we now know which side they're on."
The scarred man stared at her. "No matter which outcome, the scroll must be taken back and handed over to the Intelligence Division. If we destroy it, we'll never discover the leak. If we allow it to fall into enemy hands, we've failed our duty as shinobi and all but handed Iwagakure a map of our trade routes. Is that what you want, Namikaze?"
She looked stricken. "N-No, sir!"
"Good," the scarred man said. "You have your orders. They made their choices. All you can do is hope they make better ones in the next life."
Namikaze swallowed hard but said nothing else.
The scarred man put his hands in his coat pockets. "Return to Smoke when you're finished," he instructed, then disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
Hidan watched the man move closer to Chiharu-sensei, kunai in hand, and it felt like he was somewhere else, watching it happen from far above his body.
"If you feel that bad, make it quick for them," the man said, kneeling in front of Chiharu-sensei, touching the point to the edge of his throat.
Chiharu-sensei grimaced. "Tell me how long you were following us," he managed.
The man paused, closing his eyes. "Since you crossed the border," he admitted.
His hand moved before Chiharu-sensei could respond, and all Hidan saw next was the blood pouring down his front, the sound of him gurgling and choking on it.
Hidan's eyes went wide. Mina screamed. Junichiro squeezed his eyes shut.
The man straightened, expression blank, wiping the blood off on his shirt as Chiharu-sensei tipped forward. He hit the grass with a thud and didn't move, dying the ground around him red.
Namikaze was looking away as she stepped forward. "Cho," she started, hesitant. "This—It isn't right. Maybe we should—"
"It's war," Cho cut her off. "But go ahead. Untie them. Be the reason we lose the war."
Namikaze faltered and went quiet.
Cho crouched in front of Junichiro, pressing the kunai under his chin. "Any last words?"
"Don't fucking do it!" Hidan shouted, finding his voice when everything was suddenly shit.
Junichiro turned his head. He looked at Mina, at him, then he lifted his chin at Cho and didn't say a word, even though tears were in his eyes.
"Piece of shit," Hidan screamed, twisting, fighting to sit up.
Cho jerked the kunai across his throat and Junichiro's eyes popped open. He was soaked in his own blood in seconds. He fell and Cho stepped back, wiping the kunai off.
Mina vomited.
"Ass stain!" Hidan raved. "Fucker! Dipshit!"
Namikaze took him by collar, forcing him on his knees, and Hidan stared at her. She looked regretful, her blue eyes two bottomless pools of despair.
Cho bent in front of Mina next.
Namikaze met his eyes, and she looked sorry.
Hidan listened to Mina beg Cho not to kill her and his head spun. She was... sorry?
She had the audacity to look at him like that while his teammates lay dead around her.
She held the point of her kunai to his heart, still looking at him, asking him to forgive her.
Mina's scream was cut off by the sound of her neck being torn open, and there was an awful quiet before he heard the thud of her hitting the ground.
Namikaze pressed forward, piercing his flak-jacket, and he felt a prick before she stopped, her hand shaking so badly she had to use the other to steady it.
Cho took a few steps back, his composure crumpling. He turned around and wretched.
Namikaze closed her eyes. She abruptly leaned forward, taking him by surprise, her mouth against his ear. "When I say so, run," she said in a quick whisper. "I'll keep Cho distracted. Run as far away from here as you can."
Hidan's eyes widened. She wanted him to run.
Something in his chest cracked, and he thought he could hear what was left of his heart breaking on the ground between them.
She watched his teammates die and she wanted him to run.
White noise filled his head.
He opened his mouth wide and clamped down on her neck. He bit down hard, feeling her skin give, tasting warm blood in his mouth.
His hands wiggled free, the skin of his wrists sheared and burned by the rope, and he cut off her gasp with a hand over her mouth.
He thought of Mina, Junichiro, Chiharu-sensei. And then Namikaze, with the nerve to be fucking sorry.
It felt like it took hours for his teeth to sink past the flesh and muscle, to pierce something that flooded his mouth with blood.
In reality, it took four seconds for Hidan to use his anger and hate to nick a vein.
Namikaze tried to scream, but blood bubbled from her mouth instead. She fell forward, crushing him under her weight.
Hidan stared at the sky as her blood coated him. It was light blue, but he didn't think he would ever feel light again.
There was a sudden pain in his side that he'd missed before, and he could feel metal in his body where it shouldn't have been. It hurt to breathe. She'd stabbed him at least twice.
"Namikaze!" Cho shouted, dropping to his knees, pulling her off him and into his lap.
He tried to stem the blood pouring from her, but she'd been dead before she hit the ground. Her dull, surprised eyes had stared at him as she laid in the grass.
Hidan held his breath like Chiharu-sensei taught him, never looking away from the sky. He didn't blink. The pain in his side didn't matter. All that mattered was the void in his chest.
He gladly let it consume him.
"What the hell just happened?" Cho asked, his hands bloody. He gave Hidan a brief once-over before he refocused on Namikaze, shifting her away from him to lay her flat on the grass. He bent over her. "You're not allowed to die, damnit."
Hidan sat up, pulling the kunai from his side. He felt a little less human as he stood up, a storm of grief and malice and destruction other people called 'Hidan'.
He stepped forward as Cho tried to wake the dead, raised his kunai, and drove it into the back of his neck.
It wasn't deep enough, he realized.
Cho made a strangled noise, swiping at him, but with a body in his lap he couldn't turn fast enough to stop Hidan from shoving down with both hands, unknowingly severing his spinal cord.
Cho slumped like a toy with its batteries yanked out.
Hidan touched his side and it stung, but he couldn't tell if the slick blood on his fingers was from himself or Namikaze.
He was still adrift, most of him somewhere else as his physical body stood alone in a field of the dead. He could still taste pieces of her skin. He spit, but it didn't help.
He was still angry.
Hidan pulled the kunai free and stabbed Cho in the back. He did it again and again and again, hoping Cho took the pain with him into his 'next life'.
.
.
The girl looked at him, bloodied, standing among a pile of corpses, and she smiled at him.
It confused him.
Her friends stood back in a tree, shocked at what he'd done or afraid of what he could do, but she didn't hesitate.
She approached him, even as he squeezed his kunai, even as he was a thing wearing a human shell, driven only by his instinct and his rage.
He attacked her, tried to kill her, but she never tried to kill him.
He felt surprise, and it cracked the hole he'd tried to bury his mind in.
She bit him back, and the pain jolted him, making it harder to push out the ache in his side.
When he couldn't ignore it anymore, he came back to awareness suddenly and all at once, a raven-haired girl on top of him, cutting off his airway.
And then, despite it all, she introduced herself and asked him to come with her and her friends like he was a friend.
She was weirdest person he ever met.
A/N: 運命 - Fate, 噂 - Rumors, モンスター - Monster, 悪魔 - Demon
axis!Hidan's story is not a happy one, but really, who expected it to be?