What to do about Magik Gotham style?
Author's note: Another humor chapter, very short. This idea came to me as I read Justice League 53 Death Metal crossover (I don't really read DC other then some batman stuff and Harley Quinn). A legacy DC character, Detective Chimp was in it and I always view that character with "…a chimp… what's next a talking dog". And then I found out that DC does have a talking dog (the whole golden/silver age of the DC comics and the Bureau of Amplified Animals). Then I got to wondering about what Illyana would think about Detective Chimp and… Voila.
And I stole the idea of fleas from the author MikeJaffa from his funny story Club Business (I strongly recommend a read).
Part 3a: Fact is stranger then fiction
Monkey… was Illyana's internal thought. I'm drinking with a monkey having a conversation…
The locality was the DC universe, more specifically late night in Gotham, even more specific a Starbucks close by a consulate for Gorilla City in Gotham, hence the extensive selection of fruits, veggies, salads and likewise the drink selection along with the option for really big portions (hey, when a gorilla orders a drink it tends to be way beyond Venti or Trenta in size).
Illyana was sitting at a two person table (big table and big chairs) having a pineapple and banana frappuccino with whipped cream. A drink the monkey was likewise indulging in. "Yes it's a bit cliché." Had been the monkey's statement. "But I, and a certain segment of the paying cliental, really do find them most tasty."
Illyana was somewhat hung up on the whole. A talking monkey…
And one dressed as Sherlock Homes... even had the deerstalker hat and the handle of a magnifying glass sticking out of his jacket along with an unlit pipe (no smoking in Starbucks) in his mouth. No shoes but at least a pair of pants, and a shirt, and a tie.
Which had elicited a thought about the gorillas and did gorillas (there were no gorillas currently in the establishment) wear pants, how often were the chairs cleaned and did gorillas know about toilet paper? Oh… ick…
But then a return to her conversational partner after vowing to immediately change her clothing after this conversation.
A talking monkey named Detective Chimp for crying out loud… Monkey? Um… is that racist? Chimp so… chimpanzee… And of course he likes bananas…
Detective chimp had first thanked her for not only answering his request for a meeting (a letter given to Batman) and for meeting her here. Then after they had gotten a drink, his treat, Illyana had gone with his recommendation, hence her current drink, he had gotten straight to the point as to his request for a meeting.
Illyana was only half listening to what the monkey… chimp was saying.
At least he's not throwing poo… damn that sounds racist as well. But… he's a monkey… Bet he'd start calling me a primate if I bring that up so I'm so not going there. A hairy chimp wearing after shave, then again I'd bet a shaved monkey is something I don't want to see. Hmm, I wonder if he has to deal with fleas?
The monkey… Detective Chimp had a request of her, he wanted to investigate a certain historical death that he felt was in fact a murder and felt that both his unique perspective and ability to blend in, and her supposed abilities over time would facilitate this. Those in the DC universe were still not quite sure about Illyana's time abilities and Illyana was not sharing.
Hmmm, I bet I could sell a bunch of anti flea, tick, and lice amulets here, like the one I made for Rahne after that little episode Rahne had. Maybe I should talk to the Starbucks manager about setting up a…
Detective Chimp was not quite sure what recompense he could offer her but…
So a monkey wants to owe me a favor… Wait… Kitty loves Michal Jacksons' music. I bet if I brought him monkey boy here the Gloved One would fork over a complete signed set of CDs and even…
And that's how it came to be. The true cause of Michal Jacksons death would rock the entertainment world and land Detective Chimp on many a talk show as well as launching his career in television on his investigation news show…
Detective Chimp investigates!
Part 3b: It's not what you know, it's who you know
Everything was turning of aces for Detective Chimp.
Hit TV show.
Toy line.
Lots and lots of guest appearances on other shows.
A book deal.
Endorsements (Magik flea and tick amulets, don't leave home without it!)
Actual enforcement of his contracts (meant he got paid).
And he had regained his sobriety! But was still a smoker.
All due to that little investigation he had done.
Leaving him very busy and very happy. As he was recounting to Nightwing over a banana smoothie one night, Nightwing did have to ask.
"Why no legal problems?" Meaning it is rather hard to sue for breach of contract when you're a chimp.
A long slurp, then an answer that explained it all.
"Magik get's five percent."