Tales Of The Flame & The Axe: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Part Three: Two Steps From Hell
The brilliant light of the rising sun filled the cave that Pacifica Pines had taken refuge in the previous night; managing against all odds to survive the frigid temperatures of the late November eve. Chirping birds welcomed the day with their various songs as the brunette girl began to stir, much like the rest of the forest around her. "Ugh! Wha?! Where am I? Oh yeah! The cave…" she said to herself as she had momentarily forgotten where she was. Rubbing her eyes and letting out a drawn out yawn, the preteen sat up and noted that the once roaring fire she had set was now nothing more than a smoldering pile of ash. Turning around, she spied the mysterious book she had found deep inside the cave; using the tome as a makeshift pillow in order to keep her head off of the rocky floor. She had spent a few hours tending to the fire and glancing over the supposed spells before surrendering to her tiredness, but now she was eager to research it further. "I still can't believe this was just left here… I mean, this gemstone alone has to be worth a good chunk of change…" the brunette commented as she stood up and shook the leaves from her sweater.
After answering a very urgent call from nature and extinguishing the campfire, she set off in search of the Mystery Shack. "Man, everyone is probably gonna be pissed at me for storming off like that… For ruining Thanksgiving… They're all probably worried sick about me too… I hope Mabel is okay. And what about Mom and Dad? Damn it! I really screwed up this time!" she berated herself as her hazel eyes filled with tears. Walking to the top of a small ridge, she was able to get a better sense of where she was in the expansive woodlands. Although the Mystery Shack itself was hidden beneath the canopy of tall timbers, the spot where it resided stood out like a sore thumb in the otherwise endless sea of evergreens. After about an hour of hiking, the log cabin like structure appeared in the distance; Pacifica stopping to collect herself before barging in. "Just apologize… Tell them that your glitch embarrassed the hell out of you and that you felt this almost instinctual need to just get as far away from everyone as possible…" she tried to encourage herself. In all honesty, she had felt that way the previous evening. Her face had become hot, her heart felt as if it would break free from her prison-like ribcage, her throat dried, tears filled her eyes and an overall feeling of panic filled her mind. Pacifica didn't know what was going on, but she felt if she had remained at the gathering that it may very well be the end of her time on Earth. That was why she ran. She had to get away. And now that feeling was coming back to her as she stood at the edge of the tree line. Unknown to the young woman, she had inherited the anxiety disorder her mother had tried to hide so well herself when she was Pacifica's age.
Wendy paced back and forth on the hardwood floor of the Mystery Shack event room as she furiously awaited any kind of update from the Oregon State Police on the status of her daughter's disappearance. A cocktail of concern for the well-being of her daughter and her anxiety disorder had kept her up all night, causing the ginger woman to become more than a bit irritated. Dipper tried his best to stay up with his wife, but had succumbed to his urges to rest, much to the annoyance of Wendy. "I DON"T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO CALL IN EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE DAMN STATE! I WANT EVERY LAST OFFICER YOU HAVE LOOKING FOR HER!" she shouted into her phone as the guests began to assemble one by one in the large room. "FUCK!" the auburn haired woman exclaimed with frustration as she threw her phone down; her emerald eyes filled with tears. "Honey… They're trying the best that they can… We're going to head back out as soon as everyone is ready… We will find her. I promise" Dipper said as he pulled his wife into a reassuring embrace; running his hand through her fiery mane. Although he had said those words in a confident tone, in all honesty, the chestnut haired man was unsure of them. He wanted to react in much the same manner as his lover did, but knew that he had to put on a brave front in order to give her some much needed hope. The fact that his daughter had become so distraught that she ran away tore him up inside. All he wanted to do was wrap the troubled young woman up in a hug and tell her that everything was going to be alright. Meanwhile, Mabel had just stepped into the shower; the warm water filling the air with steam. As the cascade fell from the showerhead, they mixed with the tears coming from her eyes. All she wanted was to see her twin sister once again. Feeling her legs become weak beneath her, she sat down in the tub as she wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close to her; weeping openly as the cleansing water continued to relentlessly pelt her alabaster skin.
Courtney Corduroy had gotten little sleep, as she had felt mostly responsible for what had happened. Not only had she ruined the rare family gathering, but her actions may have very well indirectly led to the untimely demise of her cousin. "If she dies out there… I-I don't know what I'll do…" she thought to herself as she ran a brush through her long auburn locks. Maureen felt horrible as well, as she too had laughed at her cousin's misfortune. She did so not out of malice, but was simply reacting to what she perceived to be a comical situation. "Hey Courtney…" the strawberry blonde girl sheepishly said as she stood next to her. "Hey…" the redhead replied in a sullen tone as she acknowledged her temporary roommates presence. "Look… We both messed up. Bad" Maureen said as she picked up her blue brush and ran it through her shoulder length hair. "Yeah… I-I didn't mean it… I just thought it was funny… I wasn't trying to make her feel bad or anything. I mean, I know I have this whole reputation for being a shitty person and all, but I'm trying to change. I'm not so good at it though" she replied as she placed the brush down on the dresser that sat beneath the mirror in the small bedroom. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. It's a process… As long as you realize that what you did was wrong, that's a start" Maureen encouraged her as she placed a caring hand on her shoulder. "I know… But what if she died out there b-beca-" she began to reply before being cut off by her younger cousin. "Because we laughed at her? I know… I feel really bad" the ten year old completed her cousin's thought as both looked down with crestfallen expressions.
Cassie Corduroy wiped the long dried tears from around her eyes as she walked to the bathroom. She grasped the brass doorknob and turned it, only to be met with a wall of steam that filled the air like a dense springtime fog. A little disappointed that she would have to wait for a shower, she settled for a quick splash of water to her face to at least wake her up. She was about to turn the faucet on when she heard the soft cries of the inhabitant of the shower. "Y-You okay in there?" the blonde asked as she approached the tub where the noise was coming from. She was met with silence and knew that she had two choices. One was that she could simply respect the privacy of the person in the shower and exit the bathroom; leaving them alone to deal with whatever they were feeling. The other was to see who was in the shower and check in on them. She chose the latter and carefully pulled back the edge of the shower curtain. She was greeted with the sight of her cousin Mabel sitting on the floor of the tub; her head buried in her knees as she continued to cry. "Mabel… A-Are you okay?" Cassie asked with genuine concern as she let go of the curtain and let it fall back into place. "N-No… I-I'm not…" she replied, sweeping the drenched red hair from her face. "Do you need some help?" the blonde asked as she once again pulled back the vinyl privacy barrier and took a better look at her younger cousin. Her usually alabaster skin had taken on a light pink tone as the hot water of the shower had cascaded onto her. "Y-Yeah… That would be nice…" she sheepishly said as she lifted her head. Normally, the twelve year old girl would have shouted at such an intrusion of her privacy, but in this instance, it was welcomed.
Cassie cut off the water and extended her hand to the seated girl. Mabel would have been mortified for anyone to see her in such a state under any other conditions, but at the current moment it was the furthest thought in her mind. The redhead knew that her cousin wouldn't judge her for needing a helping hand after suffering an emotional breakdown in the shower and took the petite hand she offered. Standing up, she grabbed her red hair and wrung it out as Cassie retrieved a tan towel from the hook on the back of the door. Handing it to her cousin, Cassie approached the sink and turned on the faucet; splashing her face with a handful of cold water. "Thanks for that…" Mabel gratefully said as she wrapped the cotton around her slender frame and stepped out of the tub. "No problem… I know you'd do the same for me…" Cassie said as she looked up from the sink and gave her a knowing smile. "I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now…" the blonde observed as she began to shed her sleep clothes in preparation for a shower. "I-I don't know… I still feel like this is all my fault… I-If I had been more careful, she wouldn't have lost her arm in the first place… I-If she dies out there… I-I don't know how I could go on… I don't even think that I'd want to" Mabel said as fresh tears formed in her hazel eyes. "Well, first of all, she's not going to die out there… She's a smart girl. She's alive… I just feel it. Second of all… You have to let it go. What happened was an accident… You both know it" Cassie said as she turned on the shower. "I guess…" Mabel replied. "Hey… Look at me… She's gonna be alright. We'll find her" the blonde said in a confident tone as the two looked each other in the eyes. Mabel exited the bathroom and Cassie stepped into the shower. As the cascade of warm water fell over her she let out a sigh. "I hope so…" she said as the room once again began to fill with steam.
The gathering of family members split into four search parties who were all equipped with communications devices so they would not become lost as well. "Alright everyone! Each of us will take a quadrant of the map… By my best estimation, she couldn't have gotten more than three miles away before she had to stop for the night. Remember to stay in contact with one another and let us know when you finish your search area so I can assign you the next one" Dan instructed as he stood in front of the crowd. He was about to head to the door and begin the search when the knob twisted and the wooden door opened up, revealing the chestnut haired preteen. Although looking a bit rough, she seemed to be unharmed. "PACIFICA!" Wendy shouted as she rushed over to her daughter, nearly tackling her to the ground. She was soon joined by Dipper and Mabel, who joined in the embrace. "We were so worried about you!" Dipper chimed in. "I-I know… I'm sorry about all this…" Pacifica said as she began to tear up. "That's alright… What's important is that you're okay!" Mabel commented as she looked her twin sister in the eye. A sense of relief filled the room as everyone was grateful that she had returned. "How did you manage to survive out there? It was downright frigid last night kiddo!" Dan inquired. Pacifica spent the next few minutes regaling her night alone in the woods and what she had to do to ensure her survival. A sense of pride filled the patriarch of the family, as he was glad that some of the lessons he had passed down from his ancestors had helped save his granddaughters life.
After catching up with her Aunts, Uncles and Cousins, the brunette sought out her mother. She needed to tell her about how she had felt when she experienced the glitch. How she felt as if she were going to die. To ask if she needed to go to the hospital and get it checked out. "Hey Mom… C-Can we talk for a minute?" she asked in a quiet voice. "Of course honey…" the ginger woman replied. "Well… Can we go somewhere a bit more private? I'm not really comfortable talking around everyone else right now…" she informed her mother. "Yeah… Let's go outside…" Wendy said as she took her preteen daughter's hand and led her away from the gathering of family, who were celebrating her safe return. Taking a seat on a well-worn sofa on the front porch of the Mystery Shack, the nervous girl thought of how to start the conversation. Luckily for her, Wendy had an inkling of what this might have been about and she decided to start off the talk. "So… Is this about how you felt when you had that glitch?" the flannel clad woman began as she looked down at her daughter. "Yeah… I-I was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing. What hurt the most was that Maureen and Courtney were laughing at me… A-And I thought I pissed Cassie off by covering her in mashed potatoes… A-And I even saw Mabel fighting back the urge to laugh… I-It made me feel bad" she admitted. "Well, of course you did… These are people who love and care for you… A-And to see them laughing at something that you can't help had to have hurt you a lot. You have every right to feel the way that you're feeling" Wendy reassured the young woman. "I-It's not just that it hurt my feelings… It made me feel bad… Like, physically bad… My heart was beating really fast… I felt dizzy... A-And scared. That's why I ran away. I felt like I had to get out of there. My head was spinning" the preteen explained.
Wendy thought about what her daughter had just said. It reminded her of how she had felt when she got too stressed out as a teen, which happened a lot more frequently than she cared to admit. Realizing that she should have sought out help back then instead of putting up the front that she did, she decided to get her daughter the help she may not realize she needed. "Honey… I-I know what you're going through… I-I think it might even be my fault" Wendy said in a crestfallen tone. "Why would you say that Mom?" Pacifica questioned. "Well… I-I… Oh boy… This is kinda hard to admit… A-And I was hoping you'd be older when I told you and your sister this… B-But I have an anxiety disorder. I have an anxiety disorder. That feels good to say. Sorry… Just a load off my mind…" Wendy said between nervous chuckles. A confused expression resided on the face of her daughter as she tried to sort out what her mother had just revealed. She had rarely seen the freckled woman act this way and she was genuinely concerned for her. "That feeling of panic you felt… That uneasiness… That is what I felt all the time when I was your age. I didn't know what it was, so I just tried to ignore it. To, like, push it away and act chill. That was the wrong choice. As I grew up, it just got worse. After we lost your Aunt Mabel and Aunt Pacifica, it got really bad…" Wendy said as her emerald eyes became misty. Rolling up her pink and white flannel sleeve, she held her forearm up to her daughter. "So you got these tattoos to express what you couldn't say?" Pacifica inquired as she glanced at the familiar artwork that adorned her mother. "Nah… I-I actually got them to cover something up…" she said in a flat tone as she traced the path of the self-inflicted wound; the scar beneath it being noticed by the brunette for the first time.
"A-An accident?" Pacifica asked in a hopeful voice; convinced that her mother was far too strong of a person to have tried and harmed herself. "No… I did this on purpose. I was feeling guilty about not doing enough to save them. I-I took my knife… A-And I cut myself. I was feeling down and just wanted it all to go away. I don't expect you to understand, bu-" she explained before being cut off by her daughter. "I do. More than you know…" Pacifica said with a sigh as she rolled up her sleeve. At first her forearm appeared to be perfectly normal, but taking the other arm of her sweater, she began to rub the underside of it. She had used foundation to cover the light scars that adorned her skin and as it came off, Wendy was taken aback. "Oh honey…" the redhead softly said as tears began to escape her eyes. She felt guilty that her daughter had probably inherited her disorder and was traveling down the same path she was at that age. "It started after the accident. I-I don't know why I do it… I-It sort of feels good, I guess…" the twelve year old tried to explain. "I am so sorry that you feel this way… I-It's my fault… B-But I got help… And I promise that I'll get you whatever help you need…" Wendy said in soft voice. "I know Mom… I know…" Pacifica said as the two embraced; tears streaming down their faces. Unknown to them, Mabel had heard everything. Curious to where they were going, she followed them. From just around the corner, she had eavesdropped on their very personal conversation. A look of pure shock was displayed on her face as long held secrets were revealed by both her mother and her twin sister on a brisk late November morning in Gravity Falls, Oregon.
Author's Note: These chapters are going to take a little longer to come out as I have less time to write than in the past. I am trying to get a chapter a week out, but it may be longer than that as my work and personal life are very busy right now. So, like mother, like daughter. How will they both move on now that they know about their conditions and self-harm? Will Mabel confront her mother and sister about being left out of the conversation? And just what does that book that Pacifica stumbled upon have to do with everything? Answers to all those questions and more that you didn't even know that you had, next time in Tales Of The Flame & The Axe. Until then, thanks for reading! -iKLOT
My Playlist For This Chapter:
Arctic Monkeys – "Do I Wanna Know?"
Long Neck – "Elizabeth"
Anna Burch – "2 Cool 2 Care"
U.S. Girls – "Mad As Hell"
Superorganism – "Everybody Wants To Be Famous"
The Official Shooting Star Falls AU Reading Order:
Underage Discoveries On A Reckless Night: A Shooting Star Falls Prequel
A Shooting Star Falls
Echoes Of A Nearby Future: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Scarred Summer: A Shooting Star Falls Story
The Dark Days of Candy Chiu: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Forever Memories: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Stable Times Or A Wild Ride?: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Grenda's Confession: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Birthday Weirdness In The Rose City: A Shooting Star Falls Story
The Gift Of Forever: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Wendy & Dipper Vs The Future: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Life In Transit: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Pause The Moment: A Shooting Star Falls Story
Tales Of The Flame & The Axe: A Shooting Star Falls Story