What to do about Magik Gotham style?
Author's note: This idea came to me as I was thinking about just what kind of social activities Illyana might engage with in the DC Universe. And this this chapter is a partial sequel to Girl's Night out II. This was going to be a shorter chapter, but LordGrise felt it needed more content and I was wimping out so… more content was added (grin) which really did make the story better.
Side note: I see that DC has jumped on the story bandwagon of changing the sexual preferences of established characters. Something that I rather frown upon as this tends to offend the established fan base while not actually creating any new fans. Hint hint, just how well did the Ice-Man comics sell Marvel? This is mostly done as it is easier to reformate an existing character, who comes with an established sales base, then to create new characters that folks might actually shell out money for. Hence we now have gay Robin, gay super boy, and other recons that make absolutely no sense when examined against their publishing history (thought bubbles are a real issue for such recons as they show thoughts…). And I suppose even more "woke" behaviors will be taking place, one shudders at a super hero protesting something rather then doing something (sigh…). There is a difference in heroes who are gay and gay heroes, the later being that it's all about the sexual orientation.
For those who might get feisty at my opinion, just imagine the twitter meltdown if an established gay character were to suddenly become straight? Change can happen either way, but insta change (i.e. poof you're now gay/straight/lesbian/trans/furry/unknown/non binary) is weak writing. And no I did not write this chapter to make a point as I wrote most of it before DC had their "big" announcements, so just a bit of a rant.
Part 6a: Pizza Party
The Batcave was a flurry of motion.
Kicks…
Punches…
Throws…
Dodges…
Blocks…
One against many.
And then...
A brief time out before the combat practice resumed but with a different person as the one against many.
Time out you say... Time out for what?
Pizza.
There was lots of pizza.
All kinds of pizza as each participant had chosen that their favorite pizza was to be present.
Participants?
More specifically young adults and teenagers which explain the pizza. And the really big bowl of guacamole with various types of chips. The guacamole was one of Alfred's concoctions and it was delicious. Fresh avocados, some smashed fresh roasted garlic, Olive oil and seasoned just right with a touch a touch of lime juice and lemon and some herbs that Alfred refused to disclose. Oh, and lots of brands of soda and non alcohol based power drinks.
But how is this possible?
Meaning the pizza because, let's be honest here, the Batcave is not exactly next to a Dominos or even a strip mall.
Well... When you're a teleporter, a time shifter, sorceress, and a Hell Lord, it turns out that it's rather easy to arrange for everyone's pizza to arrive at the same location at the same time just as it emerged from the oven.
So… just who is here and what vittles were on offer?
Marvel Universe: Illyana Rasputin, code name Magik; fennel sausage white pizza (no sauce, just a lovely mix of cheese) with onions and mushrooms on a thin cracker crust.
DC Universe: Cassandra Cain, codename Orphan; barbeque chicken pizza with pineapple.
Marvel Universe: Laura Kinney, code name was X-23 but is now Wolverine even though Logan is also Wolverine (sigh…), four cheese cracker style pizza.
DC Universe: Stephanie Brown, code name Spoiler. Deep dish Chicago style pepperoni and sausage.
Marvel Universe: Danielle Moonstar, code name Mirage, vegetarian combo pizza with roasted eggplant, artichoke, and garlic.
DC Universe: Timothy "Tim" Drake, code name Red Robin. Anchovies… lots and lots of anchovies with spicy hot pepperoni (yes Tim was aggressive even with pizza).
Plus a cold Russian style pizza from Alfred called Mockba, which is a combination of tuna, sardines, salmon, mackerel, red herring and onions.
Tim was currently munching on a slice of Mockba as he watched Laura defend against hand to hand attacks from Illyana, Dani, and Stephanie. That's when Cassandra asked him a question as she had some Guac and chips.
"I thought you were vegetarian, or so said the Gotham Post."
An irritated kind of a shrug from Tim. "Geez, so now you're believing the Gotham Post? Get caught eating a carrot and suddenly that means I'm vegan? Next people will start saying I'm gay, for crying out loud I'm dating Stephanie who is… you know… female?"
Tim was quite proud of the fact that it was just him at what would otherwise be an all girl combat party. And the Marvel girls really did show a lot more skin then Gotham girls so double, and perhaps even a triple plus; or was that a double D (grin).
Cassandra shrugged in the direction of the ongoing fight. "Thoughts?"
Tim used a napkin to wipe off some sauce on his face as he deliberately misinterpreted the question. "Dani's palate is atrocious. Eggplant and pizza are not supposed to meet. And don't get me started about putting artichokes on pizza."
Which earned him a scowl from Cassandra and the implied threat of a hurled Guac covered chip so he answered her question.
"Dani is a better hand to hand fighter then Magik, but Laura is the best of the current combatants and frankly may be better then all of us. I believe you have the best chance against Laura. Apart from the weird tick Illyana pulls from time to time when she… does the lying with body language thing she can do. I didn't really believe you when you described it but… damn. Talk about deceptive."
"Very annoying." Was Cassandra's nodding agreement.
Why did Tim consider Cassandra the best? It was because of Cassandra's ability to read body language. Oh, and later there was a planned one on one match between Cassandra and Laura as both were very interested to see which was better.
"Oh… and thanks for the pizza party." Was Tim's muffled thanks as he finished off his current slice.
Which elicited a contented look from Cassandra as yes this party was the result of her actually getting the best of Illyana on Illyana's ongoing and annoying game of Scare the Ninja that she kept engaging in from time to time.
And a question from Tim after a swallow. "Um… never did learn… how did you actually win a round?"
A wicked smile from Cassandra. "Kicked her off a ledge as she drank coffee."
Tim was impressed, very impressed. "How high up?"
"Two hundred feet."
"Did she say anything?"
"Slight shriek, then laughter as she fell. Then… weird statement."
"Weird?"
"Weird. She said Foul!"
"Foul?"
"Foul. I asked later and she said she was quoting somebody, but would not say who. She laughed a bit and said she understood now why he says that."
"Weird…"
With that it was time and Laura exited the practice area, it was now Illyana's turn to be the one against many as Cassandra joined with Dani and Stephanie on assaulting Illyana. Laura acquired a slice of the rapidly disappearing anchovy pizza and plopped down by Tim. Which prompted a slight scowl from Tim as his evil pizza plans were being undone by the apparent enjoyment of anchovies by Laura, Illyana, and Dani (meaning there was now just one slice left). Tim was convinced that Dani must be doing some kind of virtue signaling with her pizza choice, which she had only consumed one slice of; but wisely refrained from making an issue of it. Instead he attempted some small talk.
"I was hoping to see some Asgardian combat moves from Dani."
And… just perhaps pry some Marvel universe intel out of the unwary conversational partner (Tim is sneaky like that).
"Ass guardians." Was Laura's reply as she noshed upon her slice. Mmmmm, nice gooey mozzarella, and the anchovies were really good.
"What?"
"Ass Guardians." Was her clear, pizza free pronouncement as she had swallowed. "That's what Illyana calls them."
"Okay…" Some intel, but rather… odd intel. "Why?"
"Say's it's that kind of a place."
"Oh…" Okay… good to know.
Tim was not sure what the statement that kind of a place implied as Illyana had shown no signs of any homophobia on prior interactions (See the story Top Gear X for details as to why Ass Guard). Leaving him somewhat befuddled as to a topic of conversation, which he hid by having some chips and Guac while scowling yet again at Dani's pizza choice (which is not in any way the Author's comment upon his secretary ordering ten pizza for the engineers and five the pizzas were vegetarian with just one, ONE pizza being peperoni! ONE! Which was gone in but moments and I didn't even get a slice… Hmmm, I digress…).
And then it was time again as the combat ceased. And the last slice of anchovy pizza was gone as Illyana snatched it before Tim could make his move, leaving him with the fennel sausage white pizza to sate his gnawing hunger upon (he did have to grudgingly admit was really good) so like any good batclan member he brooded. Or at least tried as brooding over pizza just lacks sufficient motivational angst for a good brood; and of course the dance of combat was most interesting to watch, in part due to the garb those from the Marvel universe wore (meaning they wore a whole lot less). Which meant that Tim ended up forgetting to be broody.
Meanwhile…
Part 6b: Observations and noshing
Bruce, Selina, and Alfred were upstairs in the office watching the ongoing combat on a big screen TV. Alfred and Selina had felt it best to let the kids be kids without the adults looking over their shoulder as it were, Bruce of course wanted to observe the combat so as to have a better understanding of the Marvel new comers. And likewise they were indulging in Pizza curtsy of Magik.
Alfred: White cracker pizza with fresh tuna, from his favorite pizza place in Tahiti (Allo Pizza in Moorea and yes the Author has eaten there, yum yum). Alfred does not go on vacation very often, but when he does he likes Tahiti (here's a hit, it's sunny, not very many people, and Alfred secretly loves a good beach).
Selina: The classic as it were, fresh mozzarella and tomato slices, from a little cafe in Naples that she liked.
Bruce. Deep dish peperoni and sausage with double extra cheese.
Bruce was sitting on a couch and Selina was seated upon Bruce as she nibbled upon his slice (cat's always like to take your food) while Alfred dined with fork, knife, and plate (yes some Brits do actually eat pizza that way).
Selina observed that. "Do not let Laura get close in combat."
A statement that Bruce was in hearty agreement with. "Hand to hand or weapons she's the most dangerous, combined with those internal blades that she has in both her hands and feet. Distance techniques are needed for her. Definite requirement for quick incapacitation."
Yes Bruce, as always, was coming up with protocols on how to deal with people. Earlier the kids had been using knives, swords, bamboo sticks, and quarter staffs as they had cycled through various combat techniques before the current hand to hand engagements.
Selina stated, well… kind of purred. "That's why I have a whip, good of making people keep their distance, and other… things."
Something Bruce just had to nod in agreement about. Her next statement did give him pause.
"Oh… and I've been training Illyana how to use a whip, she's dreadfully deficient."
Something that Bruce was not… sure about. "Is that wise?"
"Kitty likes being owed a favor. Plus she's dressed in black leather, it should be a thing for her."
Best to just go with it was Bruce's conclusion. "Is she any good?"
BEGIN SELINA RECOLLECTION
Illyana and Selina were in the Bat cave dressed in their field costumes. A life like manikin had been setup, holding a knife. Illyana was practicing with a whip under Selina's direction.
"Remember dear, the tip is not only a weapon, but can be used to knock something from an opponent's hand, or used to grasp an appendage or neck. Which gives you the option to jerk them off balance."
Selina perused some favorite memories. "Not to mention striking with the hilt of the whip or choking out an opponent."
Illyana flicked the whip back and forth, then flicked the tip towards the manikin's knife hand, jerked the whip just right so as to flick the tip…
Right into the left eyeball of the manikin, which burst out in a red spray (a red sugar based syrup was used to represent blood) and went right down Illyana's top as she does have that boob window in her costume.
Prompting a very loud "Eek!" from Illyana she clawed at her top in an attempt to retrieve the fake eyeball as Selina attempted to conceal her laughter.
END SELINA RECOLLECTION
"Needs practice." Was Selina's non committal shrug of a statement.
Various conclusions and observations had been made by the three:
Dani: Very good with a spear and with weapons, as well as hand to hand.
Laura: Was a buzz saw, quite the ninja in many ways (which she is by the way).
Illyana: Was best with edge weapons and was the weakest on hand to hand, except when she did that very unnerving lying with body language thing.
Bruce: Loved it when Selina cuddled on his lap and fed him pizza (oops, different kind of conclusion but it was true). It's simple folks, have you ever been doing something and your cat decides that no, it's lap time and pay attention to me time and you have food so I must take it time. Bruce wisely remembered that it was all being recorded and he could peruse the recordings later has having a lap full of kitten was much more… immediate.
Alfred took his leave once it was plain that the other two had lost interest in the fighting as he correctly deduced that the two would like some private time, which did result in some deep dish pizza smearing about the person or persons in attendance.
Part 6c: Main event
Then… It was time for the face off between Cassandra and Laura! But first a bit of a break to hydrate, nibble and gab a bit.
"New Matrix film sucked…"
"I can't believe Jubilee was wearing…"
"Man, those were good anchovies…"
"Ohh, are you going to the Iceberg next week? Beyonce is playing!"
"I got tickets!"
"Na, going to watch it on Fox."
"Hey, why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?"
"Um… don't know. Why?"
"Because calling him Master Vader made all the storm troopers laugh."
"Hu?"
"Think about it… Master Vader, say it fast."
"Oh… that's bad!"
"So… who's in for a group patrol afterword?"
An offer that was universally accepted (it was a bad night to be a baddie in Gotham).
Those not fighting loaded up their plates and cups to settle down to watch, with Tim sitting in the middle of the women with Stephanie sitting next to him on his right, nicely pressed against him, Dani on his left and Illyana on Dani's left, as battle royal was about to commence.
So, just how was this fight between Laura and Cassandra to be decided? Obviously a fight to the death was not going to happen (keep in mind that Illyana and Laura did like to play such games from time to time as recounted in the last chapter of the story Tag I'm it), but Cassandra was baseline human so Laura had more than a few advantages for this fight.
Laura:
She was faster (mutant ability)
She was stronger (mutant ability)
She had quick healing (mutant ability)
Enhanced senses (mutant ability)
Trained since birth to be an ultimate assassin.
And she did have built in knives in both her hands and feet.
But Cassandra is no slouch:
Trained since birth to be an ultimate assassin (funny how often that happens in comics).
Was in tip top shape (so was Laura).
Had the uncanny ability to read body language which would negate some or even all of Laura's advantages in speed.
The two were also of similar build and size, and had similar ruthlessness in combat. So… it was to be a test of several phases.
Phase1: Hand to hand only (no blades), Laura attacking and Cassandra defending
They stood facing each other, both in a bit of a cat stance as they shifted about, then… a lightning fast flurry of attacks from Laura that Cassandra blocked or dodged. Hand and elbow strikes combined with kicks and lots of fancy foot work.
Then Cassandra jumped up to avoid Laura's sweeping kick that was meant to knock her off her feet, a bit of a mistake as Laura was able to put on a burst of speed that allowed her to leap at Cassandra while she was still airborne resulting in a tackle that pinned Cassandra to the mat.
With that it was over.
It was not so much that Laura won, it was the amount of time and effort it took for Laura to get the pin as Cassandra was defending, not attacking. Pure offense vs. pure defense, if the defender was greatly more skilled then the attacker, then it was possible that the attacker might never score a pin, but this test showed that their skill and abilities were well matched in that it took some time for Laura to get a pin.
They reset and commenced four more times, with the same inevitable outcome in that Cassandra was pinned after some effort by Luara.
Phase2: Hand to hand only (no blades), Cassandra attacking and Laura defending
The roles were reversed. And now speed was found to be slightly deficient on the defensive side when the attacker could read your defensive maneuvers as they attacked, resulting in a faster pin by Cassandra of Laura each of the five times.
Again, keep in mind that this was pure attack and pure defense, the ability to see or anticipate moves should, and did, trump speed.
Conclusion: Their skills were at a comparable level for the next set of competitions.
Phase3: Mixed hand to hand combat (no blades) tournament style
Now it was mixed combat in that both offense and defense was done by both sides. The winning move being either a pin or a getting in a winning strike or maneuver. The actions by both were a flurry of limbs as blocks were just precursors to strikes. And of course it resembled a dance due to the footwork as combat is motion, static placement simply results in being outmaneuvered by your foe.
Speed allowed Laura to outmaneuver Cassandra.
Insight allowed Cassandra to avoid Laura.
Insight allowed Cassandra to penetrate Laura's defense.
Speed allowed Laura to recover.
They were well matched for tournament level competition. There were ten sessions for this phase and the win mix was Cassandra four and Laura six, but several of the bouts could have gone either ways so rather indecisive was their joint conclusion.
Phase4: Mixed hand to hand combat (no blades) battlefield style
In tournament there are point systems, rules, the intent is to win but not to harm your opponent. Battlefield rules are quite the reverse. The rules are simple, survival. And this was the game that Laura and Illyana played from time to time. But how to do such when Cassandra lacked Laura's healing abilities?
Simple, a cheat as it were.
Meaning magic, by Magik. Both participants had a kind of magic bodysuit that would register blows while preventing any actual harm due to various magical conditions. Not something that would work in the real world as consent was needed for the spells to work but it sufficed for what would otherwise be rather lethal interactions.
There were ten sessions and unlike the tournament rounds they went fast. Meaning that punches and kicks were not pulled. Head butts were real. As well as the blocking and breaking of limbs and extremities. And if something was 'hurt' on a participant then the ability to use what was hurt was restricted, but advantage to Laura on that due to her healing ability which was factored into the spell.
So… much more close to real combat conditions.
Again Cassandra four and Laura six. But this time much more decisive on each win. And the advantage of Laura's healing ability came into play as she could do sacrificial attacks that she and Logan both tended to do as this allowed them to get past the defense and strike.
"Nasty…" Was Tim's conclusion.
Phase5: Mixed hand to hand combat (blades allowed) battlefield style
Blades allowed meaning Laura got to use her hand and feet blades. Again both sides being protected by the enchantments of Magik. It was even quicker as now Laura could choose to use or not use all of her attributes.
It was brutal. Cassandra three to Laura's seven.
But they were not yet done.
Phase6: Mixed hand to hand combat (blades and tools allowed) battlefield style
Now… Cassandra had all of her bat gear, meaning utility belt and such.
Tear gas.
Knives, as well as the bat boomerangs.
Smoke pellets
Flash/bang grenades.
Grease (Laura went skidding off the mat at one point right into a wall like Wile E. Coyote vs. the road runner).
And other tricks, one of which was shooting Laura with a grappling hook gun.
Results were… mixed (Laura's face plant into a wall had been really funny). But general consensus was Cassandra four to Laura's five, with one round being ruled a dual takedown.
Phase7: Hide and seek
That one was weird. Five rounds that nobody got to see as it was just Laura and Cassandra in Limbo as the other participants were not present. It was brief in that time passes differently in Limbo although the participants couldn't really recall just how long it took once it was over. This phase added distance combined with a ruined city scape and Laura came out at a definite disadvantage as it was Cassandra four to Laura's one.
Oh, and Laura found sniper rifles to be a real pain in the ass (literally).
BEGIN RECOLLECTION
A dystopian frozen wasteland, Stalingrad to be precise, December of 1942. A frozen ruined wasteland. Absent of all life but for two combatants involved in a sniper war as Laura and Cassandra hunted each other.
Laura had a scent trail but was to find that it was a trap as…
Been a while since I've used a rifle in anything but training…
Eye on target…
Exhale and don't hold your breath…
squeeze, don't jerk the trigger…
And…
Laura got a round right in the left butt cheek (protected by the magical armor but still that stung!).
Round to Cassandra.
END RECOLLECTION
Phase8: Ultimate test of speed vs. insight
Thumb wrestling. The ultimate showdown between speed and anticipation. Which resulted in Cassandra eight and Luara two.
With that it was over.
Who was the winner?
Who had the thrill of victory?
Who was left in the agony of defeat?
Well, Laura and Cassandra were both pleased so call it a notional win for both, depending on the situation.
Bruce and Selina had long since tuned out as they were engaged in some vigorous wrestling of their own, but of a different kind.