What to do about Magik Gotham style?
Author's note: LordGrise and I were texting and for some unknown reason I came up with an idea that I think makes sense. And LordGrise, being Batman centric, pointed out just where that idea might be implemented. This is a bit of a joke chapter, but I think viable as the Batcave is no longer just for Bruce to brood in.
Part 7a: Repurposed
Of course he figured it out. Bruce was Batman, you know… the world's greatest detective, regardless of twitter claims about Detective Chip's television news show (Detective Chimp investigates!).
The clues had been endless and for one with his level of skill, quite obvious.
The wet footprints leading to the Batcave's combination gym/restroom/shower(s) facility; showers now that there were so many in the Batclan.
The wet bathing suits hanging up to dry in the before mentioned gym area, and some of the bikinis were most small in surface area coverage.
The large scale increase in towel usage with the resulting laundry volume (yes Bruce kept track of everything).
The increase of food related garbage in the Batcave garbage containers (pizza boxes, chip bags, various drink containers, cake boxes, and an honest to God happy birthday banner for Cassandra).
The distant chatter of voices having fun of all things.
A distinct reduction in the feeling of brooding that was the Batcave.
And of course the sound of music and Karaoke of all things, at a time that Bruce was not expected to present.
Yep… still got it was Bruce's sarcastic thought.
So… after a brief jaunt to a location in the Batcave that Bruce hated, and would remove if he could, he confronted what he had hypothesized must exist, and in fact did. After what felt like an hour of dark brooding upon his discover (in reality it was only a minute or so), Alfred was summoned to the location.
A few minutes later Alfred made his appearance.
"Yes Master Bruce?"
"Alfred, why is there a Jacuzzi in place of the Lazarus pit?"
"Batuzzi sir."
"Come again?"
"Batuzzi is the term Master Damian uses sir. He is wont for the occasional immature sarcasm when describing things. Remember the batoilet phase he went through."
Batuzzi described it quite well as the Jacuzzi was in the shape of the Batman symbol, and could easily seat ten in its steaming waters.
"Batuzzi then, and just how did it come to be here?" A question that Bruce was quite sure he knew the answer to as a common lawyer trick is to never ask a question that you did not already know the answer to.
"Magik sir, I believe she lost a bet with young Damian Something about his grandfather."
A bat grumble of a grunt as Bruce glowered. Words would have to be exchanged with Illyana about making changes to the Batcave without permission. But Alfred gave a slight cough before Bruce could turn to leave.
"Yes Alfred…"
"She did inquire of Ms. Kyle as to the appropriateness of the request."
The slightest of sighs from Bruce as things had just gotten more complicated. "And…"
"She thought it was cute, and defiantly less broody."
Alfred gave a slight bow. "Pardon for a moment sir. I ask that you kindly remain here as I will return in but a few moments.'
A nod from Bruce as Alfred backed a way a few steps, turned and left the room. Bruce did toss a question at the retreating back of Alfred.
"How did she do it?"
Alfred's voice echoed about the small cavern as he vanished from view. "Some kind of magical overlay was how she described it. The pit is still there, just… not currently accessible. However she did leave a token that would allow you to revert as needed; which is currently locked up in the vault."
With that Alfred gone leading Bruce confronting the… Batuzzi. Of course he resisted but, with nobody there, he did finally test the water with his hand and found it to be a most pleasant temperature. And having knelt down, he observed that yes it had a plethora of jets.
That's when he heard the squeak of a cart and the footfalls of somebody returning, and that somebody was not Alfred as he recognized the different step.
Selene entered the chamber pushing a silver tea trolley cart holding a light supper, refreshments, a bottle of Champaign, and a sinfully delectable dessert for two as she announced her presence with a sexy "Honey I'm home." She was dressed in a flowery silk kominia and slippers. There were towels on the bottom of the shelf of the trolley was well as a male swim suit with a bow on it.
"Selina…" Began Bruce.
She wiggled out of her robe, and yes wiggled described it quite well, revealing that she was dressed in not but a most revealing tight purple bikini.
"Hush darling, other are covering the City tonight. Magik being one and she was most assurative when I requested no interruptions."
Yes, Kitty would be most upset if her plans were undone so woe unto any ruffian who got in the way. And Bruce, being the world greatest detective as well as a skilled poker player, knew when to hold them and when to fold em, as kitty sauntered into the batuzzi after first kicking off her slippers.
"Ahh, the temperature is just right… Be a dear and pour me a glass."
And so, reduced to but a humble billionaire sommelier, Bruce did as requested with a pop and filled two glasses. And thus with both hands filled, as each held a glass, he turned back to Selina, only to received the gift of a flung bikini top that landed at his feet.
And you'd have thought that the world's greatest detective would have seen that coming, but that was a negatory based upon Bruce's expression of surprise. Which of course prompted the humorous internal thought Impossible Woman… from Bruce as he gazed upon her.
After passing one glass to Selina and setting down his own on the cart, it was time for him to disrobe and dawn his bathing suit. And perhaps… he just might have made a bit of a show of it as Selina was unexpectedly quiet as she gazed upon her impending kitty treat.
The rest is private and consisted of quality bat/cat time.
But it was a good thing that the batuzzi had good filters as dessert ended up being served upon the body of another, which… led to, shall we say, significant hanky panky.
Meow!