CHAPTER 21

So, just to be safe: Both Tasha and Clint are getting confronted with a bunch of their traumas around the Snap this chapter. Plus, they see each other for the first time in months after Clint left. There's a lot that needed to come out.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own. The characters belong to MARVEL.

CHAPTER 22 Reunions

"Well, that's a surprise," Clint began. "So nice of you to stop in."

Natasha forced her body to keep moving into the living room. She was vaguely aware that both Widows were staring at them. He doesn't look hurt. He's right here. How did he get here? Emotions began to roil in her stomach. Why did he do this? He's not the only one who lost a family. Why did he leave me?

The chair scraped across the carpet as Natasha sat down at the table. "There's no need to play. Even, if you were bound to the chair once, you're not anymore. It's impolite to have your hands in your lap when sitting at a table."

For a moment, Clint just looked at her. Probably really looked for the first time. And where others wouldn't be able to see anything wrong, he noted her too casually clasped hands on the table, the muscle feathering as she tried not to clench her jaw. His eyes scanned across her face even as he held the smirk in place and leaned forward to place his own hands on the table top. "Very well."

"Would you like some tea with that tension?" Lerato chimed in, already setting the table. "And you must tell me how you got out of that knot. I can't risk getting sloppy."

"He only got out because I taught him how to," Natasha said without breaking her gaze from Clint. Why did he leave me alone? Why didn't he help me with the fallout that was sure to follow all of this? Did he think I would be fine or that I was gone as well? But then why leave the note?

Lerato turned to look at Natasha, exchanging a glance with Antonia. The two Widows sat down at their table. Without a word, tea was poured, and the snacks shoved into the middle between them.

"Tony called. They found something."

Antonia's eyebrows shot into her hairline. Lerato quickly placed her tea down, pressing a hand to her mouth. I almost said too much. I don't actually know them. Then again, the Widows were my family for the longest time. Still, I shouldn't. Just in case.

The smirk on Clint's face blinked out of existence. His brows furrowed.

"They found a chance," Natasha didn't dare look away from Clint to find out what the Widows were thinking or planning. She didn't have to guess long.

Lerato cleared her throat, grabbing a cookie. "Must be nice to have friends so high up the ladder. Bet you could take off to space right away too, if you snapped your fingers."

Antonia seemed to come to a decision. "Lerato, would you come with me, I think our guests need a bit of privacy." She took her tea, grabbed Lerato's without waiting for an answer and left the living room through the door they had entered. Natasha half expected Lerato to argue, but she only looked between her and Clint for one moment longer before she followed.

The door clicked shut with finality.

"Tony said they found Thanos. Carol, our new friend, is out there scouting; Thor is being brought back in. The whole team is going," she hesitated, "Would you come with us?"

Clint stared at her with hard eyes, no smirk in sight. His jaw was set. He already felled his decision.

After a moment, Clint leaned back, arms crossed. His eyes darted across the table top as if it was the most interesting thing, he had seen all day. "You haven't seen what I've become. I told you not to go looking for me. You shouldn't be here."

He tries to get rid of me. Anger roiled through Natasha's veins with sudden fervour. "Neither should you."

"I've got a job to do."

"Oh," Natasha said airily, "That what you're calling this?" Her lip curled for a second before a perfectly neutral mask slipped over her features. "Killing criminals isn't going to bring your family back."

Clint stiffened in his chair.

With a huff, Natasha leaned back as well. "We found Thanos. We've got a spaceship and they'll pick me up. We have a chance-"

"Don't." Clint cut in. With every word his posture had closed off more. Now he refused to even meet Natasha's eyes across the table.

"Don't what." Natasha regarded him coolly. "Don't give you hope? Don't make you think this whole vengeance mission might have been for naught? Don't make you realise you left the other half of your family behind? Don't remind you that we lost friends as well and they won't come back until we finally deal with Thanos?" She spat the last sentence loud enough she was sure Lerato and Antonia would hear her whether or not they were already eavesdropping.

"Do you have any idea what it was like to come back from the battle in Wakanda? From losing our friends, going straight to your farm because damn it all at least my family had to be safe – and to find it all empty and gone? Abandoned. A broken shackle the only thing I find. No idea where you are, if you're even alive. Then, I finally get a sign from you." With slight hysteria she felt tears prickling in her eyes. Natasha surged to her feet. "For weeks, months, all I had of my best friend was a note telling me not to come looking for him. And I had to keep it together because there was too much to do. Conferences and collecting records of the fallen. Aiding others in their fight for survival. One foot in front of the other because there was nothing else to do. And I had to ask someone else to keep an eye on any sign from my best friend because I didn't have the time. But hey, I organised an orphanage in New York, so there's that."

Silence hung heavy in the room.

Clint frowned at his lap, Natasha stood across him, breathing heavy. "You could have talked to me," Natasha went on quietly, "I would have followed you. Us against the world. It's always been us against the world."

"I didn't know what to do," Clint said just as quietly, voice thick with emotion, "We were having a picnic. Lila practiced shooting her bow, the boys played football. I turned around for one second and they were gone. I couldn't find them anywhere." He drew a shuddering breath. "I panicked, didn't know what happened. I mean, I knew you guys were fighting some aliens, it was all over the news, but," another sucking breath, "The first few days I didn't even know, if you were alive. When I got to the city, I saw the chaos. People mugging and robbing and the underground flourishing. Why should they profit when so many good people lost their lives? The anger grew. All I wanted was revenge." Clint glanced up at Natasha. "And I didn't want to pull you into it. You worked too hard to get out."

"I don't care about that. You're my best friend."

"Which is why I asked you to stay away."

"Yet here we are."

"Here we are."

They stared at each other for a moment longer. Neither willing to say more or risk another outburst. Natasha rubbed at her arms, trying to soothe the whirlwind raging in her chest. I didn't think I'd react like this to seeing him again. Weeks of thinking about this moment and it ends with me going off like this. She took a deep breath. It's good he's back for now. Whether he wants to come with me or not.

"I'm sorry I disappeared on you like that."

Natasha's head snapped up in surprise. This wasn't anything she had expected. Even after all these years, actual spoken apologies were rare between them. Usually, fights were a once in a blue moon occurrence anyway so they just aired their grievances and decided how to work towards a better solution next time.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."

A grimace-like smile settled on Clint's face. Tears welled up in his eyes. Following instinct, Natasha rounded the table to stand in front of him. Before the first of either of their tears fell, she dropped to her knees beside his chair and pulled Clint into a bone crushing embrace.

Later, Natasha couldn't tell how long they simply clutched at each other and mourned their losses. How long until Antonia and Lerato carefully returned to their living room. Fact of the matter was, they did, and Natasha and Clint pulled apart. But only just. Natasha pulled a chair around to sit right beside him at the table, their shoulders brushing whenever either of them moved.

I won't leave you. I won't let you out of my sight again. We're a team. Stay with me.

Neither Widow commented on any of what they might have heard. Instead, the women exchanged glances Natasha couldn't quite parse. I'm still missing something, I'm sure of it now. What are they not telling me? She went back through her conversations with Antonia, trying to identify anything that might help her. When had she started to act strange or what had set Natasha's senses off.

"Out with it," Clint finally said. "There is something still you aren't telling us."

Antonia's eyes jumped back and forth between them. "Yes, a dire truth we were not sure we should share." Her eyes darted to Lerato for a second, settling back on Natasha with renewed seriousness. "I told you your sister is up in Norway. That was only a half-truth."

Dread settled heavy in Natasha's stomach. No. Please no. Not now. She was dimly aware of Clint's shoulder pressing against her.

"It is true. Yelena left for Norway to free more Widows from the mind control. Sonya and she followed the trail for months, occasionally reporting back to us for safety. The last time Yelena called in they had found the house of a Widow, hidden away in a large mountain range."

"They wanted to use the red dust," Natasha guessed. "Okay, so what happened?" A few scenarios ran through her mind. The Widow would have fought. Maybe Yelena injured herself. Lost her memory and was now recovering in Norway. Or the Widow had gotten the upper hand and inadvertently killed Yelena.

Antonia glanced down for a moment. It was the only thing to indicate her discomfort. "Sonya called a week later. They found the Widow, Ana, she was actually not mind-controlled but working as an assassin of her own volition. Sonya and Yelena sat with her to explain our mission. Yelena left for the bathroom – and never returned."

The floor dropped out from underneath Natasha's feet as she drew the connection. A rushing filled her ears. Only her years of torturous training kept her brain registering broken parts of conversation around her. Kept her recognizing Clint's shoulder now pressing firmly against her side, his hand around her wrist.

Yelena. Yelena tried to free the other Widows with any help she could get.

"We weren't sure what happened at first. But then more and more reports trickled in. People disappearing. Turning into dust."

I left her alone again. I left her and she got – Thanos turned her into – In Norway. All across the world from me.

"Why didn't you call?"

Why didn't I call her? Why didn't she contact me?

"Too dangerous."

Did we just replicate all the mistakes we did the past decade?

"She had a right to know."

Thanos. This is Thanos' doing. Clint's family, my sister, Bucky and Sam, Wanda, Fury and Hill, T'Challa and Shuri, Tony's boy, Rocket's friends, Doctor Strange. We don't even know who else. And he's still out there. Natasha balled her fists. Half the population, just like he promised.

Natasha was vaguely aware of Clint stiffening beside her, as she stood from her chair to move out of his reach. Both Widows were watching her like hawks. We need to get to Thanos as quickly as possible. Had I been there, hadn't left Yelena behind again. It wasn't safe, but we should have kept more in touch. I should have learned my lesson.

"Natasha?" Steve's voice sounded tired as he picked up the call Natasha didn't remember making. "What's the matter?"

"How soon can you get me? I'm in Budapest."

"Oh right, Tony said he called you. Have you found Clint?"

"Thanos took my sister."

Steve's breath stuttered. She could almost see how his mouth fell open the second his brows furrowed. For a long while he didn't say anything. He's thinking of Bucky. How he saw him turn into dust right before his eyes. How I didn't even know I lost my sister until now, didn't know what I lost…

Clint grabbed the phone from her hold. His other arm wound around her back. "Hey, Cap. Heard you sniffed out a lead."

A pause. Natasha heard the mumble of Steve's voice over the phone. Worried, but pleased, but surprised.

"It, yeah, she found me. Sorry I disappeared like that. I should have been there-"

More murmuring, now louder in a cadence Natasha recognized. Steve was trying to alleviate Clint's guilt over leaving them to avenge his family in his personal crusade. That won't work. No need to bother. We've both got red in our ledger.

Clint couldn't suppress his huff. "Yeah, okay. Just text us when you know where you'll land. Not in the city proper would be best I think." He listened a bit more. "Well then let's say to the north of the city." More dull mumbling. "Take care."

The phone was pressed back into Natasha's hands. Clint's arm still around her. "Do you have any place to train," she asked the other Widows.

"Sure, we keep a training centre reserved just for us two," Lerato began, then, looking at Natasha, she sighed. "Come, I'll show you the backyard we sometimes use."

Antonia collected the tea set and snacks to bring back into the kitchen as Lerato guided Natasha and Clint out of their flat and up to the roof. "Down there. Not many windows out back here and a big enough space. Careful though, some of these rails – and she's already going."

Natasha climbed down the wall with ease. As soon as her feet touched down on solid ground, she got into defensive stand. "Come on!"

Clint's surprised bark of laughter echoed from the roof above. While Lerato seemed slightly taken aback with the situation, he already clambered down. "So, what now?"

Natasha flung herself at him. A quick series of punches she telegraphed for Clint to parry. He did so without much issue, countering with his own.

"Come on, that all you have?"

Natasha shifted and soon they were off to a sparring they hadn't had in years. Lerato, who had descended to the ground at a much slower pace, was staring at them first with surprise then started analysing and copying their movements.

During a rare pause in their fight, Clint's eyes darted towards the Widow. His brows quirked in question. "Want to involve her?" A tilt of her head and they both shifted stances. Lerato called out in surprise as she noticed the sudden attention. But just as quickly her own training kicked in and they found themselves in a surprisingly balanced scuffle with three fighters.

Slowly, the energy in Natasha's stomach settled back down. Her focus sharpened out from the tunnel vision. "Keep an eye on your footing. If Clint were any faster you might get in trouble."

Clint shook his head lightly. "I don't want to hurt any of you!"

"What's the fun in sparring, if you're not coming out of it with a few bruises?" Lerato asked.

Natasha grinned sharply at the other Widow. Definitely my kind of energy for today. Darker days, at least a sign that you tried. That you fought and won. She swung for Lerato's legs, jumping out of the way as Clint tried to use her own distraction to swing at her shoulder.

"Sometimes it's better to avoid that," Clint called. With a quick whirl, he did what Natasha had failed at. Lerato thumped to the ground between them.

"What was that about not wanting to hurt us?" Natasha stepped up next to him. With ease that comes with familiarity, they leaned against each other, his arm resting on her shoulder. Natasha looked down at the other Widow. "And I told you to watch your footing. I fell a lot to his tricks in the first few weeks of knowing him."

"Noted." Lerato looked up at them, mouth pinched. Slowly, she got back to her feet. She didn't give any indication on where she might be hurt but Natasha could instantly make out how careful she was when straightening her back. "Think you'll be here for long? Your friends have to make their way over from the States, right?"

"Couple hours, maybe tomorrow afternoon, if we're lucky." Clint shifted to cross his ankles. "Cap said we need to pick up Thor in Norway as well."

Norway. Where my sister was last seen. I wonder, if she stumbled across New-Asgard at some point. Would be just like her. Make herself at home for a bit then disappear to wherever she was going.

"I think, your friend might be waiting for us," Clint said. "And frankly, I could use a shower after that. Do you mind if we stay the night or should we go looking elsewhere?"

"Elsewhere?" Lerato sounded as if someone had insulted her. "No, no, no, no, no. You'll stay here. Where we can keep an eye on you."

Clint lightly shoved Natasha as he took his arm from her shoulder. With a nod at Lerato he scaled the building once more.

Antonia had indeed begun to get dinner going while they had kicked each other around. And just like Lerato, she had just assumed Clint and Natasha would be staying with them for the night.

"We've got the sofa and there's an extra bedding somewhere. Make yourselves at home." Antonia looked over her shoulder as Lerato lingered in the kitchen door before her shower. "Let Natasha have a look at your back when you're done. I don't need you bruised and complaining any more than necessary." Her eyes turned back to Natasha and Clint. "Sit down you two. Your loitering makes me nervous."

Natasha followed the instruction without a word of complaint. Clint on the other hand lumbered over to stand next to Antonia. The woman barely looked at him before she simply shoved a knife into his hands and set him to the task of cutting vegetables.

For a moment the distant sound of running water and sizzling on the stove were the only sounds. It lulled Natasha into a nice sort of trance.

Of course, it couldn't last long. Antonia was the first to break the silence. "So, after everything I gathered, you two are the ones responsible for the assassination attempt on me and my father then?"

Everything froze. The last sound around was the running water as Clint stopped moving.

"No need to stop on my account," Antonia calmly said, shoving food around in the pan, "Just wanted to make sure."

"You're Dreykov's daughter." Clint's face had turned deathly pale. His eyes darted between Natasha and Antonia, clearly unsure what to do. Shocked by what they had done early in their friendship. The tenuous alliance struck after hiding from the authorities in Budapest.

Antonia snorted. "No. Not anymore. Natasha and her family freed me from his influence."

When no further explanation seemed to be forthcoming, Clint fully abandoned the vegetables to look to Natasha for help. She could read the shocked horror on his face. He couldn't believe he was standing in the same kitchen as that little girl, the collateral damage they had allowed for thinking they had taken down the Red Room. And failed nonetheless.

Natasha took a fortifying breath. Carefully, she came over to trade places with Clint. This conversation is going to be easier, if I don't have to look at anything right now. "Have you ever heard of Taskmaster?"

"Murmured rumours. A skilled assassin on the level with the Winter Soldier."

Antonia kept suspiciously quiet.

"Yes, close," Natasha cut another paprika. "Taskmaster was rumoured to originate from the Red Room. Trained in any kind of martial art you can imagine."

"A tale to spook, I'm sure."

"I could pull you apart with your own impressive skills," Antonia said matter of fact. "Copy it all after seeing you fight once. My father made sure of that."

Again, Clint tried to catch Natasha's eye. How am I supposed to explain all this in the middle of their kitchen? Years after I caught up with them, freed them from Dreykov's claws. How am I supposed to tell my best friend all about the girl we endangered and caused to be turned into a weapon?

"That may be a topic for another time." Natasha hacked the last bits of paprika with more vigour than was strictly needed. "Fact is, my family got Antonia and the other Widows out of Dreykov's clutches. And should she ever have need of me for anything," she turned to look at the other woman, "I am at your disposal."

Antonia met her eyes calmly. Food forgotten on the stove for the moment. Then, she turned back, shrugging. "Take care of Thanos. We lost too many already to risk more loss. And make sure you come back alive or your sister will have my ass and I will bring you back to kick you myself."

The memory alone had Natasha bristling. "I'll make sure to keep myself alive."

"Him as well. My birdies told me what happened once he left your side. You two are better when paired up. Now get to cutting up the food, I'm sure Lerato is getting hungry by now."