11

As soon as I thought those words, I regretted it. I may as well have written a signed invitation for Murphy to come in and fuck my life.

Why, dear god, why did I think that?

Shikaku, thankfully, interrupted my train of thought. Mainly by placing me on his shoulder and making a Handsign.

A cloud of smoke obscured my sight, alongside a sudden wave of disorientation.

Did ninja always feel like that when they used that technique, or was it just me?

Shikaku pulled me off his shoulder, before sitting down in a chair and depositing me on his lap-

Hang on, I could have sworn that chair hadn't been there a second ago. Where the hell had it come from?

"Ah, Shikaku-kun." An old man in white robes with a large hat said. The Sandaime, obviously.

More importantly, where the heck had this chair come from? There was no puff of smoke, so it wasn't unsealed or summoned, but it had to come from somewhere.

"Greetings, Hokage-sama." Shikaku nodded.

Had an ANBU put it there or something? Would they actually do such a mundane thing? Were there even ANBU in this room?

God damn it, sidetracked again.

Where was I?

I looked up, meeting the idle gaze of the third Hokage. I tilted my head to the side, staring back at him.

He looked like an old man, with wrinkles on his face, a wart near his nose, a large grey goatee and a slight smile. He seemed to be just a kindly old man.

Except he was anything but 'just a kindly old man'. The man who sat in front of me was one of, if not the most powerful, most experienced, most skilled and most dangerous ninja in the entire village, appearance be damned. He was a veteran of the First, Second and Third Shinobi World Wars, possessing a skill that most considered utterly fucking terrifying. His skill and his knowledge had earned him the title of 'The Professor', for his mastery of all forms of Shinobi Combat. There was a good fucking reason why this man was venerated as 'The God of Shinobi'.

He was Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage, who led a ninja village for decades. Not a man I'm ever going to take lightly.

Hiruzen turned his gaze back towards Shikaku, before speaking. "I have never seen or heard of a creature like this one before."

"Nor have I." Shikaku nodded, before asking a question. "Do you think it could have come from the Summon Realm?"

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow, considering it. "I'm not sure."

I shook my head. I didn't come from there, but my lack of a mouth didn't make that easy to explain. I could gesture, though. I suppose I could write too, but that may be hard with my claws.

Hiruzen raised his eyebrow. "Was that a 'no'?"

I looked at him, then nodded.

Shikaku sighed. "Well, at least that answers the question of whether you're intelligent or not. Though it doesn't say how intelligent."

I shrugged, then leaned back against his Jonin vest.

It was surprisingly comfortable, for a flak jacket. I wonder if I could 'borrow' one of them.

"It seems to have taken a liking to you, Shikaku-kun."

Shikaku sighed. "It's after my jacket."

He's not wrong, but how could he could tell?

"Oh?"

"The deer in the forest do the exact same thing. As well as a fair amount of birds. And cats. And Shikamaru, too."

Ah. That's how.

"I see." Sarutobi smiled.

A smile that grew wider in the next second, even as a slight laugh escaped him.

Shikaku straightened, looking, for all the world, that he did not want to be there right now.

Before I had time to ponder on this, the door slammed open.

A pulse of malevolence hit my senses, right as a shouted "Gramps!" hit my ears.

I looked at the door, already knowing who would be there.

Naruto Uzumaki, looking like a 5 year old.