This is it. This is my life...was my life. My...reality.

Though I was dead, the rain felt the same, smelled the same. You would think I wouldn't be affected by it considering I am no longer here but alas... The only thing is that despite being soaked, I didn't feel cold. At least not from the rain. I did feel the coldness inside my body though. I felt empty. Despite my mother standing next to me, the feeling of being alone took over my body. Seeing Sakura like that made me realize this is my reality. And this grave in front of me...solidified it.

"It's difficult, isn't it?" I focused my attention on the gravestone but continued to listen. "It was a lot to take in for me as well. I remember looking at your father and I's gravesite for the first time. The pain was so strong, it become much more unbearable once I saw you. Still, a newborn crying for its mother..." She sighed as she put her hand on my shoulder. I flinched at her touch. She felt...warm. "Don't be scared, it's me after all. Here, let me show you."

Once again, the earth began to move. The angry dark clouds from before disappeared as the sky turned midnight blue. We elevated with the trees rapidly growing from the ground. I gasped as I saw the scene being played out in front of me.

"Is...is this..?"

"The day Minato and I died?" I could feel her energy deplete at the horrific sight. "The moment I realized I wasn't going to make it, I felt like the world might collapse. And it wasn't like you were going to have your father take care of you either. You were going to be alone in this world with Kurama sealed inside of you. No guidance, No parents. Just alone."

"I remember."

'Though your father and I came here together, he and I had different journies. I had to go through my own grief on my own. Not completely though, I had a mentor. Just like I am to you, she showed me these things to help me grieve. I remember running to your side at night talking with you...crying that I couldn't hold you...kiss you...be a mother to you."

Her eyes glistened in the night as she thought back. It seemed she was more relaxed rather than tense remembering her first time here. "You used to visit me?"

She nodded her head and smiled to herself. "Though, after enough visits, there was one time you acknowledged me, do you remember?"

I shook my head. "N-No, unfortunately not..."

She sighed at the happy memory. "You were almost one year old. I came at my usual time, 3 am, to see you. You're usually asleep by then but this time, you were awake. I remember I leaned over you and smiled at me. Those bright blue eyes...I gasped when I realized you were looking at me and not through me. I have heard in my youth that young children are more sensitive to spirits but I never thought... thought it could be possible that you," Mother grabbed at my hands gently. "I never thought I'd ever get acknowledged by you again. Even though there was a possibility of you never remembering that moment, I did. I kept it with me all the way until we met when you were a teenager."

"...What does this all mean?" She shook her head and smiled.

"Naruto, your grave is here, not your soul." With a single twist of the wrist, I felt the room shift to my house again. This time, it was the evening time, and the sun just set. I could hear laughter in the background, other children maybe, but no faces. As I peered closer, through the window, I could see Sakura, the kids...and myself. An old memory maybe? "Just because you are dead does not mean you have to stay away from your family forever. That is why we angels can step foot on Earth. Though most can't see nor sense us, we're here watching. And that can be an option for you too."

Then I could visit them?!" My legs moved on its own. It was as if I had tunnel vision. The only thing I could see was Sakura in the kitchen window looking in my direction. She was looking at me. Watching...waiting for me to come back to her. She continued to tease me unknowingly by showing off that beautiful smile of hers..."T-Tell me how. I want to see them...I want to see-"

"No." The immediate rejection stopped me in my tracks. She was firm in her...'decision'

"What? W-Why not? Why tell me you visited me every day just to tell me I can't do the same thing?!"

"My son, I wasn't able to visit you for a year. Did you not hear me when I said you were just about one? In order to do that, I had to come to terms that I was dead and there was no way I'd be back home with you and my husband. It took time and once I accepted that, I was able to visit you without going insane. You see, there are certain gifts we get when we pass over and accept this new life. If you're not careful..."

This wasn't right. I could see them but they can't see me? What's the point? I could feel the anger boiling over from the thought of it. What a sick joke!

"I don't want to be there if they're not going to see me!"

"Naruto-"

"No!" Shocked but not surprised by my anger it seems, Mother stood silent as I continued. "I should be there in the flesh, not in spirit! What kind of joke is this? I want to be able to hold my wife and children, not watch from afar! I-I can't-" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"...It's a lot to process right now, however, you're in no shape to visit them at this time. I'm sorry, Naruto."

"...Who are you to decide that?" Before she could react, I raced past her to the house. Her calls served as background noise to me. This was my chance to see them, to see her. I can't let them go...I won't!

.

.

.

.

Three candles dimly lit the living room. The wall in the hallway still had a badly drawn green crayon frog, courtesy of my daughter, Hamanai the Great, that's what she called herself. The house was warm, probably because of the stove being on, though I smelled no food. This home...my home felt so fun of like...yet empty all at the same time.

"Where is everybody?"

I maneuvered my way around scattered toys on the floor to my bedroom. As I walked through the halls, I peered into each room. It was...the same? But something was off. Maybe it's nothing but I can't shake the feeling that-

"None of you understand!"

That yell...was that...is she...? I ran to the end of the hall where the noise came from, stopping in my tracks once I realized the situation I stepped in.

"He is dead and he is never coming back! M-My husband is...he's gone. I feel so...so lost." Sakura stood in the doorframe of our once-shared bedroom. She looked so disheveled. Why was she yelling at our children like this?

"Mom-"

"No Shinachiku, you were not there when I held him. You were not there trying to keep his bleed under control and you were not there when he took his last breath. You will never understand that kind of pain!"

"Sa...Sakura-chan...why would you...?" The silence only made the intensity grow. each person looked so...different and yet...they all had the same hurt in their eyes. The sniffling ripped me from my thoughts. My daughter...Hanami... She looked hurt the most.

"I hate you!" She said face full of tears.

"Hanami, please don't say that!" I try to console...to reach out and hug her but...oh...yes. I am dead. She runs right through me as she dashes into her room, slamming the door.

"You're...you're not my mother, My mother would never say something so insensitive and...and selfish to her own flesh and blood! Let me know when the real Uzumaki Sakura comes back..."

"Shina..." The hurt and disappointment...no this has to stop! Walked past and stood in front of my wife. I knew she probably couldn't hear or see me but if there was a chance...I need to make this right. I need to fix this!

"Sakura-chan, can't you see you are hurting our children? Stop this! Go apologize! This isn't...this isn't like you... This isn't the woman I married..." Though I begged and pleaded, nothing seemed to work. She saw right through me. Not even a glimpse. Tears started to form and I got desperate. "Please! Hear me! See me! ...Please."

"...Leave me be." She stepped back into that dark room and slammed the door. I flinched at the power behind it. Slowly turning around, I noticed that Shinachiku was still there.

"S-Shinachiku..."

Tears of anger mixed with disappointment ran down his cheeks, quickly wiping them away. He spoke so low I could barely hear. "Why did you leave us?"

I felt a lump form in my throat. Why did I leave? Why did it have to come to this? I should have been stronger for them. I hesitantly reached out to him. I knew he wouldn't feel me nor see me...but still... I cupped his cheek and wiped a stray tear. Just as quick as I did it..he gasped...and stepped back...?

"W-Who was that? ...Dad? I-Is that...was that...?'

My stomach dropped. Did he feel...me? "Shi...Shina..Shina-chan I'm here! I'm here son I'm-"

"Not yet." Suddenly, two hands grabbed me and pulled me to the light.