Shikamaru's birthday.

In true Nara fashion, it was a quiet affair.

Mostly because Shikamaru was too lazy to get out of bed, and this was one of the very few days a year that Yoshino would actually let him get away with it.

Which, in turn, was mostly because Ino's birthday was the day after, and Ino's birthdays tended to be much more... extravagant.

As such, the first half of the day went by without so much as a whisper.

Come the later half of the day, however, when Shikamaru finally stumbled downstairs in search of food and drink, was when his birthday actually started.

It was exceptionally well timed, actually, as the other two thirds of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio alongside their wives and children all arrived not even a minute after he came down.

Chouza had a bag in one hand -presents, no doubt-, and a large box in the other. If my non-existent nose was correct -and it was-, then the box contained what was undoubtedly a full course meal capable of feeding everybody in this room twice over.

Shikamaru's nose seemed to pick up the same thing, because he abandoned the fridge in an instant.

Inoichi also had a bag in hand, though he wasn't carrying anything else. Well, except for Ino, who was currently piggybacking off of him.

Ah, to be almost eight.

Ino's birthday.

Much more extravagant.

If only because Inoichi had actually bothered to invite people. Well, that, and the fact that the Yamanaka's were quite friendly to... more or less everyone. Which was quite evident by the sheer amount of people here. I didn't recognize all of them, but a few of them were prolific enough that I knew them on sight.

The other two thirds of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio were here, of course, but so were Shiba and Shino Aburame, the former quietly speaking with Tsume, and the latter currently trailing behind Chouji.

Of course, since Tsume was here, Koromaru wasn't too far behind. I looked around- aaannnddd there he is, curled up into the corner, the eyepatched navy-black and white ninken watching everybody in the room with a bored interest.

Specifically seeming to watch Kiba and Akamaru, who was with Chouji and Shikamaru, and a few other children that I vaguely recognized as being more Nara, Akimichi or Yamanaka.

Not surprising. Most of the other Yamanaka children were just as eager as Ino herself was, and her birthday served as an excuse to go and have fun. And while the rest of all three clans may not have been as close as Inoichi, Shikaku and Chouza specifically were, all of them had friends amongst them.

Much like the children, Ino's birthday served as an excuse for the adults to meet up.

Hmm... Alright, Hana isn't here. Kind of strange that Tsume and Kiba are, but she isn't. Oh well, doesn't particularly matter too much.

That's Asuma over there, and if I'm not mistaken, those three children there are also a part of the Sarutobi clan. As well as those two adults.

Also not particularly surprising, since the Sarutobi Clan was fairly close the Nara, Yamanaka, and Akimichi Clans.

Now... Where the hell did Ino go?

"Are you retarded, idiot?"

"You're the one that's retarded, jerk!"

"Do you even know what 'retarded' means?"

"Duh! It means you're stupid!"

I have no idea how the fuck this even happened, but I wasn't complaining.

"You're obviously overextending!"

"No, I'm not! You aren't reaching far enough!"

Actually, I'm not ever sure these two had any idea how it happened, either.

"You're wrong!"

"No, you're wrong!"

"Well, it's nice to see you two getting along." I interrupted, stopping them just before they began to escalate this to an actual fight.

And they'd do it, too.

Both Sasuke and Naruto looked up, letting go of each other's shirts at the same moment. Is that a blush?

Yes it is! Sasuke's blushing~ Hello new teasing material.

"So, when did you two become friends?"

"We're not friends!" They said, simultaneously.

Then they started glaring at each other again.

"He's an idiot." Sasuke sniffed, turning his nose up. "How could I be friends with an idiot?"

"You're the idiot, jerk!" Naruto shouted.

"Nevermind. What are you arguing about, anyway?"

"Taijutsu..." Sasuke muttered.

"Yeah, I can't help you with that. Not unless you need a moving practise dummy or something, anyway, it's been a while since I've actually sparred with somebody."

Too long, actually.

"Really?!" Naruto shouted, eyes alight with excitement.

"A spar?" Sasuke asked, much more reserved than his counterpart. "Would you mind it?"

"Not particularly. I am a little out of practise."

Way the fuck out of practise. I Really do need to step up my game and, you know, actually get used to fighting with all the tricks I could pull out of my bag. So many tricks hidden in such a big bag.

I'd need them. My bag of tricks was the only thing that could actually make me a legitimate threat to a Jonin level opponent, to say nothing of ANBU and Kage level opponents. There were far too many beings around of that kind of strength, and far too many of them were hostile, insane, or planning insane things. If I wanted to help, and I did, then I'd need to get better.

Pein, for example. Tobi, for another.

Best to stack the deck as much in my favor as I was able.

"So, how about it? Both of you against me?"

"Yes!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke gave a nod, at first hesitant, but then determined. "Fine."

"Good." I ratcheted up the luminosity of my eyes, the blue suddenly seeming sinister. I passed through the shadow cast by a tree, and as I did, I let my form roil with Darkness, stopping as soon as I stepped into the light again. "Before we begin, I have one thing to say to you two, Sasuke, Naruto."

I looked at them, staring unblinking. Both of them leaned in slightly, though neither was aware of that.

"Don't hold back. Use whatever you want against me, because you're going to need it."